a-ninja-magpie

[a-ninja-magpie]

there's a jewish story about a rich man who goes to his rabbi to ask him about building an orphanage, and the rabbi is like "yeah duh go for it!!" and then later the rich guy comes back and is like "actually I've decided not to... I was just doing it for my own image and not coz I cared about orphans" and the rabbi was like "bitch the orphans don't care why you're building the orphanage!!!" and sometimes I wish I could say that to lefties who haven't unpacked their christian upbringing. sometimes motives don't matter!! who give a fuck why a politician wants to do a good thing? bitch the orphans don't!!

[a-ninja-magpie]

Interpol has the biggest gulf between effectiveness in fiction versus reality bc in fiction Interpol agents are stock characters and irl they do not exist

[a-ninja-magpie]

901. girl. how are you, just. so incredibly shaped???

also the leggie is killing me. you are a predatory megafauna!!! pls try to be at least a little bit scary!!!!

[a-ninja-magpie]

I have really noticed how much I have lost this ability in the ~10 years since I got a smartphone and it’s … alarming. I’m trying to get back to just sitting, just Watching the thing I want to watch, just reading a book. It’s difficult though, with the glowing box of immediate dopamine always at hand.

You should be able to listen to a full album without looking at your phone. You should be able to watch a 3 hour film from beginning to end without checking social media. If you can't do this, you need to start training your attention span as if it were a physical muscle. I don't experience boredom or restlessness because I've trained my brain to not be dependent on quick stimuli and dopamine hits. If you can't chill on a park bench while waiting for a friend with just your imagination to keep you company, you need to learn how to do it ASAP because one day we may not have access to the internet.

[a-ninja-magpie]

saddest thing that can happen is a cat so delicately and cozy putting their small apple head on your leg like a pillow to sleep while fully unaware that in like five minutes you're going to get up to go eat because they don't know human language or how time works

[a-ninja-magpie]

True equality was reached in Jurassic Park 1993 with Robert Muldoon and Dr. Ellie Sattler wearing the same length shorts.

[a-ninja-magpie]

I love being friends with prostitutes and transsexuals and artists and drug dealers and perverts and queers

[a-ninja-magpie]

Not going to yuck anyone’s yum but I do find TS’s whole very-pretty-cool-girl-pretending-to-be-a-nerd thing incredibly grating.

[a-ninja-magpie]

Justice in the Dark ✰ Pei Su

[a-ninja-magpie]

“I would die for my kids” your children want an apology

[a-ninja-magpie]

Watery sunshine - Kenne Grégoire , 2018.

Dutch , b. 1951 -

Acrylic on linen , 100 x 70 cm.

[a-ninja-magpie]

Mutual pining is great, but you know what's even better? Mutual pining where they're both fully aware the feelings are requited, they just can't do anything about it for other reasons. Or maybe they technically could but they've had to choose not to, because of The Circumstances.

[a-ninja-magpie]

It’s happening again

The Blorbo Emotion (desire to sink my teeth into their throat & shAKE)

[a-ninja-magpie]

which lenox spice village house are you living in? i'm tarragon

[a-ninja-magpie]

Grouchy Old Guy: Have you considered telling your Friends Who Love You that you’re still alive, so they can maybe help you with your whole impending doom thing?

Gifted Child Burnout: 🙂 No 🙂

I have finally started watching Mysterious Lotus Casebook AKA The Adventures of Gifted Child Burnout and Puppy Who Needs A Job

[a-ninja-magpie]

i just rescued a pill bug they’re gonna reward me with a million pill bucks i’m gonna be a fucking pillionaire

[a-ninja-magpie]

One lump(fish) or two? ☝️✌️🤔

Far below the ocean's waves, a bulbous-looking fish with leathery skin and large eyes slowly swims along. The appropriately named lumpfish live up to this magnificent moniker with their assortment of lumps, bumps, and ridges along their bodies. These denizens of the deep sea can attach themselves to surfaces using their modified pelvic fins like a suction cup to avoid being swept away in the ocean's currents.

Stuck on these bumpy lumpfish? Learn more