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I'll just leave this here...

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Bruce: *is dead again*

Dick: well this s-

Tim: *carrying a go bag* I can't believe this! I'm gonna put a tracker on him when I- oh hi Dick.

Dick: ...you don't think he's dead?

Tim: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME ANYONE DIED! ok Alfred but at this point I think he's using this as a vacation from us but PAST THAT! Who ACTUALLY dies? Superman 'dies' every few years, Bruce keeps 'dying' hell YOU 'die' sometimes. Obviously Jason, Damian, Cas, Steph have all 'died', my friends have'died',BUT THEY COME BACK! everyone. comes. back. I'll be back when I find Bruce for the THIRD TIME! *slams door*

Alfred: *walking into the room* he's not wrong. Tea?

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it's pride month... you know what that means!

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5 times the batfam uses Dick's name to persecute Bruce

"Dick is ready - "

"Not unless you've taken Viagra, old man"

-

"Dick is up-"

"Do not be disgusting Father."

-

"I need Dick for this."

"I'll call Clark but TMI Bruce."

-

"Dick - "

"Language, Master Bruce."

-

It's been weeks since Bruce last said Nightwing's name out loud, and they are all here to punish him for it.

"I'll remind you all we are in a public space," he says in warning, before sighing heavily. His considers his words and grimaces, but there is no way out. Gordon also appears to be holding back his delight. "Dick will not be available for dinner, Commissioner."

Swanning past, his eldest (who had clearly lied about an emergency in Blüdhaven) remarks, "The catering staff finalised the menu weeks ago, too late to change it B."

He is going to disown them all.

-

Thank you @grannyhitsuzen!

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Over the years, the batfam has slowly noticed, why exactly Dick's mom had nicknamed him robin. Ofcourse he was born on the first day of spring and is always flitting about, but there's more...robin-like traits that have long since cemented his original robin status

Bruce, rushing to check up on his newly adopted child, Dick, who just walked into a glass door with eyes wide open: Chum? Why did you just walk into glass?

Dick: What glass?

Bruce: I-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason, watching teen, newly discowing!Dick pack up his stuff to move out: Why do you have that hoard?

Dick, shoving his collection of shiny objects, including but not limited to, pins, buttons, spoons, forks, medals and trophies, into a bag: What hoard?

Jason:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim, traumatized after having seen Dick dance in front of Barbara at a ball: Why would you willingly do that? Was that a mating dance?

Dick: A what? I'm not a bird, Tim

Tim: ok

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian, looking disgruntled as Dick spoonfeeds him some porridge: Why must you insist on this, Richard? I am 10, not 4

Dick: But you work so hard for patrol and school everyday!

Documentary playing in the background: And the Mama Bird will feed it's chick until it is big enough to hunt on it own....

Damian: ...

Damian: Tt. Fine, you may.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duke, on a rare night patrol, batting Batman!Dick away after the fifth time he tried to cover him with his cape: Dude quit it

Dick: But you're vulnerable at night because of your suit!

Duke, suddenly remembering how birds will try to cover their chicks with their wings to keep them safe: I owe tim so many churros

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And also, ofcourse, the many, many times Bruce has seen them all huddling together around Dick like they actually are robin chicks huddling around a robin mama

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I love when there’s a really bending heavy episode because you just KNOW Sokka is about to get the dumbest C plot

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been working overtime at the sabolaw mines sorry

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It was for science...!! (how was he not caught tho 💀🙏🏾)

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You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

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my favorite thing about navigating fanfiction is finding a really good one and being all “oh boy this was good, I hope they have more!” and literally every other story they’ve ever written was for like Miami Vice 

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Hehehe 😊😘

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when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw

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Jumalanpelko familytree! Senior guard and previous suncat spawned from nowhere

Fun fact sugar was not supposed to be related to Guard. Then I wanted to make her his grandmother but that would mean that i had to make guards mom and there was no room for that so.

Guards dads sister is the cat whose face guard bit lol

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people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

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devastating to be a black butler fan on tiktok today

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When Safety Is Optional

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This picture is absolutely cracking me up because it’s just after they’ve rescued Palpatine from the elevator shaft and you can tell EXACTLY how this went just from the motion blur of it.  THE MOTION BLUR IS SO FUNNY. That those two Jedi assholes swung the CHANCELLOR OF THE REPUBLIC through the first random doorway that opened for them, so that he landed RIGHT ON HIS ASS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY, probably still making this exact face:

Just thinking about that makes me absolutely LOSE IT.  LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT THE WAY HIS FEET AREN’T EVEN ON THE GROUND BECAUSE THEY SENT HIM FLYING THROUGH THE DOORWAY. LOOK AT THE WAY HE LITERALLY LANDS ON HIS ASS AND PROBABLY GOT A BRUISED TAILBONE OUT OF IT.  GOD, I HOPE HE HAD TO THROUGH THE REST OF THE PLOT OF REVENGE OF THE SITH WITH A PAINFUL TWINGE EVERY TIME HE SO MUCH AS STOOD UP OR SAT DOWN OR BREATHED WRONG. BUT JUST.  PALPATINE.  ON HIS ASS IN THE MIDDLE OF GRIEVOUS’ SHIP.  ROBES FLYING AROUND HIM, FEET NOWHERE NEAR UNDERNEATH HIM, LEGS AKIMBO AS HE FLAILED THROUGH THE AIR LIKE A DISCARDED FIDGET SPINNER, ALL WHILE THOSE JEDI GET TO USE THE FORCE TO BE COOL AND HAVE AWESOME LOOKING LANDINGS. IT’S SO FUNNY.