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RESOURCE UPLOAD!!!

As promised, I've finished encoding, editing, and archiving one of the entries from my book of shadows. Here it is in a google doc.

for those who don't want to go to google docs for any reason (honestly, same.) I will drop some screenshots here!

yippie yippie!! have fun.

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update!

HEDGE WITCHCRAFT YET AGAIN

i vanished again!!! SORRY, I have been bombarded with schoolwork and I have recently fallen back to old habits (vampires) and have been very spiritually ill with three debilitating ailments (Lestat, Louis and Armand). That aside, another witchy resource will be up within the week. As promised from the last poll, I will be sharing parts of my book of shadows talking about liminal space magic/the nature of locations. If I haven't revealed it yet, then it is about my personal classification of the many types of "there's something in this place" that includes what people mistake to be haunted, and what constitutes a "true" haunting (in my standards). So yeah, anytime this week, probably by the end. Thank you for the patience, I am losing my sanity!

here's a cat pic for the inconvenience. His name is Gibby and he likes to have his head held like a hamburger

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The time I mistook watching Interview with the Vampire for What We Do in the Shadows, purely for the "interview" aspect, might have simultaneously been the best and worst decision of my life

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writer situation rn: people finding a lot of meaningful, deep and hidden metaphors and themes in the details of my work that I initially intended to be completely literal to the scene, but somehow make complete fucking sense and make me seem like a really sharp smartypants good writer with 200IQ symbolism game

^ my live reaction as a bona fide dumbass who has insane luck

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Me & Lord Hermes up to some shit

For some context, I am a heavily isolated individual, and it has been that way since childhood. I am not sheltered, nor was I "hidden from the world" Tangled style. I just never experienced a childhood that was revolved around the outside world, where I played out in the neighborhoods, or had childhood friends, or any friends outside of school for the matter. I never went to sleepovers, or other people's birthday parties, and I didn't have any reason or incentive to go out unless my family was with me or it was something my family signed me up for.

So I grew up pretty much just existing inside my own little world, inside my home, inside my bedroom. And because I was very much content with being inside (and due to my mother's paranoia with the idea of even allowing me outside our property), it never occurred to me that I could just...go out, without always having to ask for permission. I shouldn't always have to ask. I always prided myself in being independent but turns out, I haven't been living up to my code a lot.

Independence may have to be earned in some less obedient ways, Lord Hermes says.

I know what I can do and can't do, I am responsible and sensible enough to know my limits, he reminds me.

I can't always rely on my parents to wean me off of the safety of home. Sometimes it has to be me that weans them off of the idea that they should shadow me at all times, he remarks.

Walk around the neighborhood, just ten minutes, just so I can see that it's not as terrifying as one thinks, he urges me.

You don't have to tell your mother (but do be careful and respectful by still telling your dad, so he knows where you go), he suggests.

I really didn't have to tell her, at all. My father trusts me enough to know that I'm responsible and capable of fending off for myself. I don't do substances, nor do I have any interest in some risky business, that much they know. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell her.

So I didn't tell her.

I went out and took a short little walk to the corner store and bought 25¢ ice cream and rejoiced. And nothing terrible happened, like my mother feared would. Just me returning home with ice cream and a light feeling of somehow achieving a milestone in my life?

It seems so pathetic, some people younger than me have more independence and could even roam the city freely if they wished, but I'm not afforded the luxury of being permitted to do so, even until now. This is a very small act of mischief, and rebellion, and practicing crossing the street without getting hit by cars, and buying from a store without cracking my voice in anxiousness of messing up what I wanna say.

Thank you, Lord Hermes!!!

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Poll has closed, with location/place/physical space magic.

And fortunately for the people who voted, I have 9 pages worth of a full entry about a specific location magic topic, based on my own field studies— the different kinds of "hauntings", or so they're called/thought to be by non-practitioners.

I will be encoding it into a document and editing when I've got the time, but watch out for that >:3

—love, thio

INTEREST POLL!

Apologies for not posting as much, I am mentally preparing for a senior thesis.

Apart from journaling, discussing stuff and posting writing prompts, and whatever else craziness I make, I am indeed an actual witch outside of being a writer and Hellenic Polytheist, and I have my own practices. Part of it is keeping a book of shadows, especially because I am entirely self-taught, experience-based and have fairly niche/specific areas of practice that I can't find a lot of resources on and so...

I have many topics and some dive deep into different specific things, but I'll just pick three of the common ones to start this:

And I'll be vanishing for another week or so unless I've got more to note down, which I likely will.

—love, thio.

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INTEREST POLL!

Apologies for not posting as much, I am mentally preparing for a senior thesis.

Apart from journaling, discussing stuff and posting writing prompts, and whatever else craziness I make, I am indeed an actual witch outside of being a writer and Hellenic Polytheist, and I have my own practices. Part of it is keeping a book of shadows, especially because I am entirely self-taught, experience-based and have fairly niche/specific areas of practice that I can't find a lot of resources on and so...

I have many topics and some dive deep into different specific things, but I'll just pick three of the common ones to start this:

And I'll be vanishing for another week or so unless I've got more to note down, which I likely will.

—love, thio.

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I love being friends with prostitutes and transsexuals and artists and drug dealers and perverts and queers

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Excerpts from my Childhood Journals #1

4th Grade Gender Vanity Schadenfreude

Apart from being aware, accepting and part of the queer community, plus being a rabid trans/nb ally long before I realized I myself fell under the trans umbrella...

I was a frivolous, pretentious and overtly vain child with a shape of personality in the Oscar Wilde variety. I didn't have a huge ego nor thought so highly of myself in a genuine manner, but while that is all true, I was a proponent of insane egotistical satire and irony, and so I wrote this, word for word, unchanged in my diary as a 4th grader:

The war about the boys and girls sticking to being just men and women is so funny. I just enjoy my hot chocolate and watch all of you put yourselfs where you're not even satisfied. Dumbasses.

Me? I'm not loyal to one sex. Why should I do that anyways? The more is better. You guys just aren't talented enough to see the possibility of girls turning into more handsome guys than even the hottest dudes born boys can ever be. Because you can't think outside of that boxhead of yours HAHAHAHA!!!

Honestly, better than bigotry at least.

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It shouldn't be a shock that I am enby: an unserious multifandom consumption retrospective

So yeah, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me, and others, that I ended up this ambiguous gender-wise. I had no concept of what things, toys, characters or shows were "for girls" or "for boys"— as far as I was concerned, they were "for me".

Here's a random rapid fire of the media I consumed as a child, with my experiences with them:

The first ever series I was crazily obsessed with was the entire Barbie and Tinkerbell series. Tangled was my jam and it's one of the reasons why I'm an artist now, and Frozen (oh Frozen, how long a time ago...) was probably the very first movie I ever called a favourite. But in that same era of my childhood, I equally loved the Ip Man movies, the entire Jurassic Park series, Star Wars, those crappy armageddon-esque disaster movies, and more

I watched telenovelas and crazy soap operas whenever my mother watched them, but I was also just as curious and interested with Pawn Stars and huge monster fish hunting when my dad switched to that channel. And since both of them loved cooking, I also watched cooking shows a lot.

I had Barbies, I had little DIY bracelet bead boxes, I got princess coloring books and even medicine and kitchen playsets. I absolutely adored having tea parties and doing Rich Victorian Women Gossip with my Raquelle dolls (I love Raquelle.) But I also had this kick ass Spiderman convertible that could open its doors and light up the headlights and a gold and purple beyblade I named "sparky" that I used as both a toy and a weapon. Fuck's sake, I watched Winx and Ben 10 alternately and enjoyed both without any other issues apart from the fact that Kevin and Musa weren't real.

I had porcelain dolls, I also had Gundams. I had baby dolls I schedule court hearings and executions for, and I still stole nuts and screwdrivers to use as daggers and rings for my makeshift LOTR LARPing in the backyard. And after LOTR roleplay, I could roleplay Mortal Kombat, and I always picked to be Mileena.

I genuinely enjoyed bootleg Barbie salon games on GirlsGoGames that may have been boring and repetitive , but I also heavily enjoyed League of Legends content, which is honestly, arguably worse.

I could easily switch over to talking about which of the Mane Six was my favourite to a girl who was my age but also infodump about early Attack on Titan lore to a boy my age as well. And if we put those two groups together, we could all chatter about Minecraft together.

And even now, I could switch over to one group chat discussing KPop Demon Hunters and Alien Stage, head over to one Discord server talking about Good Omens, go to another channel within that same server discussing Devil May Cry, go to a thread in that channel talking about Bayonetta, go out of that server and onto another one dedicated to Red Dead Redemption, go back to Tumblr to visit the Hades fandom, and within a subsection of that same fandom find people who have Hetalia and Marauders sideblogs, take a detour down the Wolfstar shipping roleplay blogs to find fellow Terezi enthusiasts in the niche Homestuck alt accounts some Sirius Black fans have.

Of course I was told by other kids and other older adults that some things were for specific genders but I never cared. As far as I was concerned, if I liked it, it's mine to enjoy. I had zero concept of gender for myself, even when I knew sex and gender existed. I always thought it was just something that applied to other people and not to me.

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Frodo is shota bait and if you didn't bury your ass deep in the trenches of delusionshipping him with sam you would understand like the rest of us that its the case

Uh, hi Anon. You are the very first person to have given me an ask and...

Anon, what side of (what I assume) LOTR shipping discourse Tumblr kicked you so hard you ended up with the Hellenic polytheists? Because I'm not an LOTR, shipping, or discourse blog. I still welcome you in if you're interested though. With that in mind, I have so many questions:

Why is Frodo shota bait?

Did Tolkien even know what a shota was enough to consciously make a character who is shota bait?

How does one bury ass?

What's delusionshipping? What even counts as delusionshipping? I have NEVER heard of that term before.

Who is "the rest of us" supposed to be??? There's more of you??

Stay strong out there (?) [😭]

– thio

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HELPOL JOURNALING/REFLECTION PROMPTS — heavy shadow work prompts, Olympian edition.

Featuring lesser-discussed aspects or sides of the gods. Massive "read to filth" warning!!

ZEUS – Forming pacts, promises, and oaths to others is an obligation, an action that puts integrity and trust on the line until what is agreed upon is fulfilled. Breaking an agreement breaks spirits and stability in relationships. So what have you promised yourself in the past that have never been put to fruition—any resolutions, goals, that you never got to fulfill? Why were they never completed?

POSEIDON – The very soil you stand on is supposedly the safest place to be, but the earth moves and shakes unapologetically, taking down all that towers above it. Have you had moments where what you built and stood for crumbled to the ground mercilessly, and you were left to pick up what had been destroyed? Could you have stopped it from breaking even if you couldn't prevent it from happening?

HERA – Life is a journey traversed through both familiar roads and unpaved paths. These journeys can be literal expeditions and long travels to be in new places, and for some, it is a long-winded path to a less physical but equally beautiful destination. Write a letter about your travels to your past self, who was yet to begin their long journey just to get to where you are now. Thank them, thank yourself.

HESTIA – Transparency is the lesser mentioned but equally important partner of communication as a key aspect of negotiation and bureaucracy. Is there ever a time when you or somebody else had twisted the truth or altered the manner in which to express it to raise the chances in your favour, or has somebody else done it against you? Do you think it was worth it to do so?

DEMETER – Abundance is never ensured or constant, and there will be inevitable periods of darkness and drought where one feels as if they are losing everything and gaining nothing at the same time. Whenever you are hopeless and feel as if nothing good will ever replenish all that you have lost, there are reasons as to why you're still here despite it. What or who are these reasons that stayed even when all else has vanished from you?

ARES – Respect for another person's inborn dignity is respect for human life and existence. Most of us attempt to be gracious and polite to preserve the dignity of others. Ignoring your own, and therefore disrespecting yourself, is not an exception to the rule. How many times in the past six months, up to a year ago, have you shamed yourself, been self-deprecating, and been cruel to yourself?

HEPHAESTUS – As much as our passions and specialties fuel us, there will be inevitable times when burnout exists. In periods of creative rut and artistic block, even the greatest artisans feel as if nothing they create is good enough. In the worst cases, these periods may last so long and so painfully that they stop altogether. If you are still a creative now, how do you get over these artistic dry spells? If you've given up and dropped an art form, is there still an ember of passion within you, or has it truly died out?

ATHENA – Intellect is not merely measured by academic excellence or the ability to quickly solve a problem on paper with genius skill. It also involves displaying a deep understanding of concepts and experiences, and the ability to apply learnings in profound ways. What are the greatest realizations, revelations, or life lessons you have had in the past year? Do you think understanding these has made you a smarter person about your life, or at the very least more aware?

APHRODITE – Passion and love are forces with no morality, only power. When harnessed healthily, these can fuel perseverance, healing, improvement, and even renewal. When left uncontrolled and unsupervised, they can quickly corrupt and turn irrational as fast as they can influence. Are you somebody who allows themself to be thoroughly ruined by its intensity, or do you attempt to rein it in as much as you can help it?

APOLLON – The excess of anything good becomes bad, and the indulgence in something seemingly beneficial can be blinding. Potent medication is administered with specific doses for a reason. And many good things in life are not meant to be had all at one time, though it is undeniably irresistible. Do you have any guilty pleasures or vices that you struggle with working on or experiencing, and are you aware of their long-term effects on you? Do you still take care of yourself regardless of or because of it?

ARTEMIS – Many people look down on others for reasons they cannot prevent, deny, or remove from themselves. Race, gender, sexuality, conditions, you name it, and some people feel the need to belittle those who are different from others. If you are not part of these minorities, or if you are somebody who experiences some forms of discrimination, how do you advocate and fight for yourself and those who are alienated by others?

DIONYSUS – Merely realizing the utter chaos and clamor of life can render even the most well-adjusted individuals in society to develop an existential crisis that uproots their motivations and reasons for being. In this ever-changing, ever maddening, potentially meaningless existence we live in modern day life, how do you keep grounded to reality, experiencing it, shaping this reality to be distinctly suited and meaningful to you?

HERMES – Luck is a leap of faith, and you never know which side of the probability you will end up having. There are times when the world leaves us no opportunity to choose wisely, and we are thrown into a fit of quick decision-making that may or may not end in catastrophe. Usually, they do end up horribly, but on the rare occasions that chance is on your side, recall a time you made a reckless, potentially dangerous, and non-advisable decision that, by a stroke of luck, ended better than expected. Would you ever dare do it again with the same stakes at hand?

I'll probably make more of these but with specific themes soon >:3. Khaire, self-love and enlightenment be with you! Happy journaling!

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a message for the collective, from Lord Dionysus (and... Lord Hermes? They're in tandem with this):

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TEXT POST BUT IT HAS BEEN INTERCEPTED AND HIJACKED. GIF INCOMING

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Hindsight thoughts about habits as a worshipper of Hypnos

& discussing my relationship with resting + a prayer at the end...

Prayer underneath the read more!

This is the more lighthearted part of this long af post, so here's a bullet point list of random sleep-related information I know about myself, so scroll down if you want vulnerability <3:

i just realized, I've never pulled an allnighter, at all. My entire life I have never tried to. I have always been so averse and very afraid of the idea of not sleeping, even when I have so much to do that can't be finished in a day. I always choose to have the night for sleep.

Long before I realized it was a habit of mine, I've always counted the amount of hours I slept or napped, even as a child. The very first thing I do when I wake up is to hold my hands up to my face and count.

Sleep is comfort but it's not escape. Learned this pretty early on in my practice with Lord Hypnos when I would attempt to sleep off responsibilities/unaddressed issues and would get dreams about them, or have to face them having worsened the moment I wake up. I get to rest undisturbed when I face the issue head on and have a break after it. I love him for that lol, holding me accountable.

I realized that I can handle quite literally any sort of discomfort or pain and take it in stride, even if it is genuinely upsetting and absolutely not a good time. Horrific stomach pain? Ouch, fine, it will pass. Headache? Dark cold room and I'll be fine. Full body pain? Fucking ouch, but it will pass. But I cannot handle sleep deprivation. I will genuinely lose my mind. I will go insane.

Had siestas as a child. I usually never was still or sleepy enough to actually sleep, but as I get older, a siesta is very much pleasing now. It's great. More people should be given the chance to have them.

I'm one of the lucky people who can sleep absolutely anywhere I want to as long as I don't have to fight gravity and can relax on the surface of wherever I am. My only enemy is light and that's easily mediated by a towel over my eyes.

I'm keenly aware of my circadian rhythm and sleep patterns. 9:30 PM to 4:30/5:45 AM is my usual and optimal cycle and I am definitely an early bird. I am the most mentally active from 6:00 AM to 9:00 AM and my attention/energy slowly fades out as the day progresses. I may experience a spike of energy from 2:00-3:00 PM but it is rare and it makes me sleep earlier in the night.

And here's the meat of the post!

My relationship with sleep is quite good! It's not on a reward-withholding system. I do not push past the point of losing sleep just to complete something, and I do not sleep as a reward unless it's something I really, really want in exchange of doing something extremely exhausting (like doing whole-day dance practice under the heat of the sun, which I feel I deserve to get knocked out after). I do not deprive myself of sleep as punishment, and I do not sleep to escape problems anymore. My relationship with rest and sleep has definitely improved and become healthier with the combined forces of professional help, very uncomfortable but necessary shadow work and worshipping/working with Lord Hypnos.

For me personally, I've learned that sleep is a necessity, not a luxury or a novelty. It is not a cure-all (I wish it was though, "sleep it off" is a good remedy for less serious health issues) and constantly relying on it for escapism and holding off facing personal torments will not do good to fix them in the long run. And yet, even with all that...I cannot allow myself to rest.

Yes, I am a productive person, I know as much. I can safely admit with no excess pride, and the people in my life can agree that I am high-achieving, perhaps overachieving, I've got a lot going on and I've got so much for me in the future. Many people rely on me and look up to me and look for me, and I am Very Aware™ that because I have lots of responsibilities in my professional life and academia, and even in my personal life with friends, hobbies and chores and whatnot, even if I do sleep healthily, I do not find time to rest otherwise.

Which is not good!! Even a well-oiled machine will break without periodically being turned off and allowed to stop. I know this very well. But I've always had a strained relationship with allowing myself to not do anything.

Thanks to shadow work and Lord Hypnos absolutely calling me tf out on this (and making me admit it to myself, which is mortifying yet necessary for me to realize the harm I was doing to myself), but it's because of the fact that I somehow think resting = unproductive, which means unproductive = lazy and not doing anything with my life, which very quickly spirals to lazy = will end up as nothing in the future. Which is NOT true. Even when I've done absolutely everything that needs to be done, it's as if I don't allow myself to just sit down for a bit and be satisfied that I achieved anything at all. I won't detail to what horrid extent I exhausted myself, but it was BAD.

And that's something I struggle with until now, but am actively working to fix. I am now deeply aware that while I do care for my wellbeing, there are some aspects of my actions that are extremely cruel to myself but I brush off just because I can handle it. But hey, just because I can handle it doesn't mean it's good that I should.

The biggest eye opener for me was when Lord Hypnos sent a very blunt message that literally, word for word, vividly, went:

"You wouldn't treat the people you hate like this. And you would not dare even think to make the ones you love undergo what you put yourself through."

And I was like, "oh shit". And even typing it out now makes it hit harder. Like damn, I wouldn't even make the people I'm annoyed with go through what I make myself deal with? And I just had to sit there and let that sink in. I try to be as gentle and understanding to others but I am so heartless to myself. Damn.

So yes. Take care of yourself guys. Don't feel ashamed to not always be productive like I did (and still do, albeit slowly less nowadays). Too much rest/sleep can be unhealthy but having none at all is far worse.

Prayer of Gratitude

My gratitude to Lord Hypnos. Blessed be, succour to the restless and solace of the weary. Thank you for the patience and gentleness you have lent with love to those who seek your guidance and aid in their lives, and thank you for the respite and relief you give us, that though there is much in the waking life of us mortals to pour our strength towards, your mercy and peace lends us the will to persevere at the end and beginning of each day we work and live.

Lord Hypnos, the diligent fatigued, the persistent and tired, the worn-out workers of our mortal world seek your divine repose of body and spirit, and we are deeply grateful for all that you provide to us.

Lord Hypnos, blessed be, soother of those awake in torment and dormant in your care, we thank you.

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If you are a person with Thoughts, I implore you to keep a journal if you aren't already doing so.

Historians fuckin love journals and diaries. And history is happening now.

Okay this doesn't apply to just helpol people, but this post is also for the journaling/selfpub people too, and everybody else who wants in. I just so happen to be a helpol and journal writing blog so yes!

I am not a professional, nor am I a historian. But I have worked around them, and my discipline of choice (librarianship, archiving and information sciences + either law or psychology) when I will be of college age is very much interconnected with the field of history.

And let me tell you a perspective that some of you might not be aware of, but— people whose job is to preserve history, especially sociological history, absolutely cherish actual firsthand accounts from people of the time periods they are studying or compiling material for. No matter how "insignificant" you may be as a person in this lifetime, there's probably some weirdly dedicated future historian who would study your writing as part of their niche. We're seeing it with Tumblr posts, we're seeing it on fandom forums, and everywhere on social media, it's not new. Now I implore you to do it in hardcopy format too; that is, you write that shit down. Write it where it cannot be easily destroyed. Write it where it can be preserved, if not to help others in the distant future, then for yourself.

As we know, materials the likes of self-published zines, diaries, journals, daily writing notebooks, and even zibaldoni or commonplace books, as well as written notes on pre-existing mediums like marginalia and annotation can provide or develop insight to the way a person thinks or how they perceive experiences, internal and external information, human interaction, and events that shape their life. Their existence, the condition of the society and world and the cultural zeitgeists during their life will likely alter and intertwine with the way they write and detail their experiences. It doesn't just appear in the way somebody's slang or diction changes, but in what each word entails in their sentences.

Written accounts of daily life share more than just mundanity, and something as simple as a grocery list or even recalling what you did at university is already so much material to work with, because the material is each account of your day. Many factors come into play with your grocery list, or what you do at school. You might not question it, but in the eyes of a historian, something as simple as "I went to my 9 am lecture and ate the cold buffet food at the university cafeteria bc I don't have my paycheck yet " can generate so many questions and inferences. What is so ordinary to you may be deeply intriguing to others. And this is true for the field of social sciences, especially history. Firsthand written accounts are priceless pieces of human history because human life has hidden connections to almost everything. Which is a Lot.

And in some way, if ever your writings are found, they could help those who try to share or form a narrative on society as it existed in your time— in our current time. It could help us now, as we traverse some MAJOR global shifts in culture, politics, societal dynamics and much more. You do not have to be a perfect person to create a journal that details YOUR life. It doesn't have to be grand, or groundbreaking. You do not have to make all your entries the best or worst times of your life. You do not have to make everything perfect philosophical passages or beautiful works of prose and poetry. It just has to be true to what you think, true to yourself, and most importantly, it has to exist outside of your mind and placed somewhere you can look back on.

"but what if what I say is problematic or weird?" — It's your journal, and your journal is being written in this era of human existence. Contrary to puritanical belief, problematic thoughts are allowed to exist, and it's good to write them down as a reminder, if you really want to foster change in yourself. Many things that are okay or problematic now may not be seen that way in the future, but some common truths may remain with slight alterations. This is a constant as cultures and cultural exchanges shift and occur. You are providing an opinion of what ideas or concepts are seen as acceptable (to a degree) or believed by people during our time. And if it's only something you personally believe, well then my friend, you will be an anomaly worth figuring out.

"What if they think I'm weird?" — with how the world is seemingly crumbling apart now, I'd say get weirder. You're not being weird enough if you are worrying about it. Our current time period is liminal and terrifyingly unpredictable, everything we know and that remains unseen is ever changing. I'd be more surprised if you aren't losing your mind about everything right now. Be as authentic as you can about it. Depending on what flavor of strange you are, your thoughts might become part of an interdisciplinary subject.

Journaling has many benefits to the person who does it, but in the long run it may begin to help others as well. It may not seem like much now, but note that the most famous journals to date are written by people who didn't really plan to send their unhinged musings to a publisher that will sanitize and sacrifice their vulnerability for marketability, even if they themselves were famous authors who did or have had works gain infamy and acclaim. Because yes, writers do write outside of the craft they show to others. In the form of diaries, studies, letters exchanged, postcards, and among other things of the wordy variety. And through these writings we tend to form strings of narrative on the society these writers lived in, and who they were as people of their time, and not just famous figures of literature— people who have opinions and knowledge, plus the firsthand experience of existing during the time periods of their life and who have given us valuable perspectives on the way they see things and the way they lived things, regardless of how historically accurate, morally sound, grammatically correct or whatever else they were.

And even I can provide my own experience for this! I've always kept diaries ever since I was a child. I've always loved art and have always made art. And I discovered this recently, but I never actually believed in the faith I grew up in even when I was a child, and I was always enamored with Hellenic Polytheism and witchcraft even when I wasn't practicing yet. And I wouldn't have known all this if my younger self didn't insist on keeping diaries and sketchbooks that I can now look back on. If I hadn't kept any written accounts of who I was, I wouldn't be able to tell you what makes me who I am now. My issues with severe amnesia and forgetfulness make me lose so much memory and perspective on my own past, and what a colorful past it was. Keeping journals helps me remember the details of my OWN life, that I had completely forgotten. It helps me now, as I use my journal like a second brain that remembers things for me and shows me that I am a person with personality, thoughts and feelings. That I am a person. The journals I own humanize me in my eyes.

And for historians to be able to humanize somebody, and humanize an entire era of society, to deepen the view of humanity through diverse voices, to prove that we are aware creatures who are surviving, suffering, thinking, loving, daring to defy the erosion of time and memory by writing, to show that we are here and we are alive, and we can communicate across eras is one of the greatest things we can do to preserve the memory we have now and those who have done the same in the past. And it is one of the most daring yet simple ways you can provide a message that goes "HEY THIS IS ME AND THIS IS HOW AND WHEN I LIVED" to people whose passion, job, and possibly lifelong goal it is to show that there is somebody like you, and everybody else who lived. And there is so much more to somebody like you.

–love, thio.

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NO, TUMBLR, YOU WERE DOING SO GOOD! YOU WERE BEING SUCH A GOOD SOCIAL MEDIA AND NOT GIVING ME PERCY JACKSON POSTS! WHAT HAPPENED??? I AM A HELLENIC POLYTHEIST, NOT A PERCYJACKSONTHEIST! GET THE ARES SLANDER AWAY FROM ME I CAN’T TAKE THIS

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Liminal Travel Dreams?

— random ramble from a witch that works with the magic of Weirdass Places™

Being a worshipper of both Hypnos and Hermes, and having my specific practice outside of what I do in helpol being deeply rooted in the energy, memory and purpose of locations and spaces ends up with me having very strange, symbolic dreams about travel. Traversing dimensions, subconscious exploration, dreams and whatnot. Pretty obvious reasons.

But not like, "at the destination" sort of travel, which might encompass like...a vacation, a cool trip or something. The dreams focus on the transit or commute itself.

Nearly all of my dreams are mundane (lol). Nothing of much notable chaos or wonder happens in them, as most of them just encompass me doing chores, or going to school, or running errands and whatnot. Even my nightmares are ordinary, like running late in traffic or failing a test. These dreams happen in places I'm familiar with, and I can almost match the dream location to a real place I've seen or gone to. At best they leave me confused or bewildered, at worst they make me feel weird and disconnected from reality. These dreams are my usual dreams at night, and I don't really find that they're out of the threshold of normal.

But the weirdest dreams I have are the ones where I do not know where I am, or where I'm headed, or for what purpose I'm taking up a travel. And usually, I never end up knowing.

Many of my "weirder" dreams are connected to being situated in some sort of port, terminal, stop or whatever. Other times it's inside a vehicle, a vessel or whatever to go somewhere. And the dream ends when I arrive at the destination. The most prominent kinds of transport I've been on are cargo ferries and petroleum tankers. On rarer occasions, I might be inside a van, or on some unspecified aircraft. And three very common recurring details in these dreams are that: I'm carrying something of notable weight (like baggage, or a box of cargo, a camera, etc.), there's at least one male entity accompanying me, it's windy or cold or both, and it usually happens at dusk-midnight, but not always.

I've yet to dig deeper into them, but the most obvious interpretation I've got is the usual "path/journey/transition to something in life" or even a subconscious/spiritual crossroads situation, because for some reason I am always stuck in a period of constant, life-altering decision-making, seems like my life path at this point (/s and /lh. But the solemn Two of Swords that keeps appearing in all my readings would say otherwise lmfao)

I'm sure the finer details of my dreams have more to them than this post shows, and it'll be my task to figure out what in absolute insanity they mean for me.