brickyari

[brickyari]

I always thought i hate being touched. Turns out i am touch starved. I'm afraid that if you lay a finger on me i will crumble.

I always thought i hate words of affirmations. Turns out i was growing up never heard any of it. I'm afraid that if you say nice things, there's something i should pay.

[brickyari]

As a child, i always puffed my sternum when my family said i am strong and independent. That i can help myself for doing what my older and younger brother could never do.

Later did i know it was actually a sign.

[brickyari]

Them to me

: you can't be the 3rd in your class. It will make us bad

: but im 3rd out of 35 children?

: study harder!

Them to my youngest brother

: you actually made it. 17th place is not bad!

[brickyari]

People be like, "middle child is so dramatic af"

We replied, "oh you sees us? About damn time"

[brickyari]

I can finally recognized

Can we get some special love for middle children with eldest daughter syndrome. For whatever reason you had to be the big sibling to your elder sibling too. You had to grow up in the shadow of someone who you were also expected to be responsible for. You had to grow up extra-fast so you could be your elder sibling's guide and mentor and babysitter even though your family clearly favored them and they were given more opportunities in life. You have a weird slightly dysfunctional relationship with your elder sibling because of that.

You deserved to be a child too. You deserved to be seen. You deserved help. You deserved better. I hope you are able to find a place where the only person you have to take care of is yourself. You shouldn't have to carry your whole family forever.

[brickyari]

I am afraid of me

[brickyari]

I wanna get close to people

I wanna have a relationship

But no. I don’t want to open up

Just how

[brickyari]

Have you ever just “omg he liked my photo” but then you’re just like “omg ew no. He did it to anyone else’s too”

[brickyari]

Romanticising my life because why not

[brickyari]

I want to feel in love again

—said a pathetic loner

[brickyari]

Oh, to get along with someone

[brickyari]

The one who sad when somebody’s leaving is the one who’s being left

[brickyari]

Guess im just

Starting over