#dismissive avoidant

[brickyari]

I always thought i hate being touched. Turns out i am touch starved. I'm afraid that if you lay a finger on me i will crumble.

I always thought i hate words of affirmations. Turns out i was growing up never heard any of it. I'm afraid that if you say nice things, there's something i should pay.

[bpderanged]

I'm so tired of giving people second chances just for them to fuck up all over again. So now I just don't give anyone the space to "make it right." I would simply fucking leave the first time.

Call me bitter, but I don't believe people can change. If you showed me who you are once, then I will assume that's all you're ever going to be; and I'm not going to sacrifice my own sanity for the mere possibility of improvement.

If you drive me crazy, I want you gone. No second chances.

[feelslikeyouu]

A song I wrote about my struggles with having

Dismissive Avoidant Attachment: Individuals with this attachment style often avoid intimacy and emotional vulnerability, valuing self-reliance and autonomy above all else. While they may desire a peaceful and low-maintenance relationship, they struggle with emotional closeness and may actively avoid it.

🟩 this is a piece of me from my early 20s that will be talked about on my upcoming album about my life , coming 11.6.2026

IG: @draiinyouu

-art

[canis-dies]

01. Jimmy Neutron Had a Dog, So Why Can't I Have a Friend? - Hot Mulligan. // 02. Herakles - Euripides (Tr. Anne Carson) // 03. so what i lied - Negative 25 // 04. neurocophany-theyshe on tumblr // 05. Unknown - Liana Finck // 06. lostmf on tumblr // 07. soapstore on tumblr // 08. Letters to Felice - Franz Kafka // 09. deer333teeth on tumblr // 10. With Solitude - Jane O. Wayne // 11. theambitiouswoman on tumblr // 12. Unknown // 13. Unknown // 14. Futile Devices - Sufjan Stevens // 15. Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? - Jeanette Winterson // 16. The Life Cycle of an Attachment Style - AttachmentProject // 17. Avoidant Attachment - AttachmentProject // 18. Unknown // 19. eternalworm1 on tiktok // 20. Hey Ken, Someone Methodically Mushed the Donuts - Free Throw // 21. So That's What They Do In College - This Is Pointless // 22. Unknown // 23. I Just Sighed. I Just Sighed, Just So You Know - Los Campesinos! // 24. Fine, Great - Modern Baseball // 25. 偽物人間40号 - ¿? shimon (English Translation) // 26. 偽物人間40号 - ¿? shimon (English Translation) // 27. Great Romances of the 20th Century (Demo version) - Taking Back Sunday // 28. Something About a Bunch of Dead Dogs - Hot Mulligan // 29. DreadfulHounds on instagram // 30. Unknown // 31. Something About a Bunch of Dead Dogs - Hot Mulligan

[avoidant-attachment-culture]

avoidant culture is feeling far more comfortable yearning for fictional people that don't exist because i never actually have to get close to them. i can just write alone and feel comfortable never divulging anything

.

[brainspiraling]

Sometimes when people say they "can't give you what you need", they mean they won't— they don't care enough to.

[creepyclothdoll]

The Tick

A vampire is a predator, I tell you. I am defying my nature to be with you. 

I am dangerous. But you tame me. You are the exception, I promise in the forest, under the tree where we first met. 

With my centuries of experience and a whole world of options for companionship, I choose you. 

For you, I will be gentle. I brush the hair from your shoulder. Even though it goes against all that I am.

I see a tick crawling through your dark hair. You watch me pull it out and crush it in my fingers with a smile. I will always protect you. 

From that day on, you are truly mine.

I love you unconditionally. Intensely. With the deep, all-consuming love you desire. 

I am an outsider. You are the only one who can understand me. 

My bite is like a kiss, but deeper. More primal. More sensual. The physical merges with the emotional, boundaries dissolve. It is an act of trust. You trust me. 

I may lose control of my predatory nature, I say. You should not trust me, I say. 

I show you my most vulnerable self– my heart has shuddered in the cold for centuries. You open the door and invite me in. With this sharing of blood, I relax in the knowledge that this is true, this is real, this is forever.

We duck away into an alcove one night as I spy the vampire-hunter scanning the party, the outline of an ash stake under his jacket. You fear for me then.

My kind is so maligned. Rightfully, I admit. What society would allow a rabid predator in its midst willingly? Something so dangerous, unchecked, bound to rampaging bloodlust? 

But you’re different, you remind me.

Yes. But they don’t understand that. Only you have ever accepted me without fear. 

Your presence feeds me. Being in every part of your life feeds me. Knowing where you are, knowing I am on your mind, knowing you are mine– that feeds me. 

I will leave you enough time to recover from my bite, my taking, barely. Then, I will come back and take more. 

You want me to let you rest for longer? I am doing you a favor, then. I don’t say this, but you feel it in my smile. I needed this, but I’ll give it up for you and your comfort. What a good vampire I am, understanding like this. I sacrifice my needs for you. It hurts me to wait. But I wait. Patiently, with a long-suffering smile. 

You hold my life in the palm of your hand. You have all the control here. To reject me now would kill me. I will give you whatever you need. Just tell me what you want. I will do it. 

It’s really your fault that you feel like this, because if you just told me what you want, I will give it to you. All I ask in return for this perfection is nearness. Eternally. 

You feel cold. 

You feel tired. You feel sick. I bring you the things you like most– I remember your favorite sweet things, your favorite books, your favorite blanket. 

I haven’t shared in your blood in weeks. I don’t need to, anymore. You invited me in, and that’s all I needed– I can live off of you. 

You are in my veins. I live through your life.

I only take a little– a conservative portion of the oxygen in your breath, a few beats of your heart each day, just some of the strength of your limbs, a touch of the heat from your body, a gentle scraping of your spirit and your mind. To me, this is everything. You don’t need these things, and you don’t notice them leaving you. And if you were to notice, wouldn’t you offer them freely? Would you be so cruel, so callous, to say no?

I feel like a bucket with a hole in the bottom, you say. Weak, pitiful, sad. 

I will take care of you, I promise. I will always protect you. And these things are true. 

I will leave you empty.

You want to leave for awhile? Of course, my dear. Why would I protest that? You’re not a prisoner. I trust you’ll come back to me, I say, showing my vulnerability, my earnest love.

But you’re gone so often, lately. And you leave me lonely. 

So I follow you one day. I see you have other friends. That’s alright, of course. You can have whatever you like, so long as I am your priority. Go out and raise your energy, so long as you bring it back to me. Make yourself healthy and hale. What’s good for you is good for us. 

But who are these friends? A flash of recognition. A seething hate.

No.

Don’t talk to those people. Anyone but them. 

Why would you let them fill your head with lies? I scream when you return to me. At least you returned to me. You look up at me with hollow, dark eyes, your face pale as the grave, your lips thin and blue. 

There is so much left of you, though. 

I think I need to go, you say. 

I grab my chest. You are killing me. You would kill me.

I need to do what’s best for me, you say. 

You promised me a share of your life. You’d rip that from me now? I cry. I sacrificed my nature for you, I say. It went against all that I am. You are the reason I am gentle. You tamed me.

I grab you as you step through the threshold backwards. Your chill skin leaches a great share of the last of your remaining heat into mine. You grow paler. I want what I can take, then. 

Every pulse of your heart. The whole of your spirit. The thin trickle of blood that still runs through your cold blue veins. The last thought in your addled, exhausted little head. 

There is a lightning-sharp stab of pain through my body. Fire blazes around my chest. Acid, poison, venom– the stake. From you? I look up pitifully. No. From the man in the jacket, standing behind me, who I see as I slump to the dirty carpet on the hallway floor. 

So helpless. Frozen in an instant. My fingers twitch.

You scream for me– you cry for me. The man pulls you away– bastard. There is a woman with him too now, and another man, and they uncork bottles, and I smell the stink of garlic, feel the repulsion of holy water. 

Wait, you cry. He can’t help it. He’s a predator by nature– he’s trying so hard to be good, you cry. Please, just reach out to me. My fingers twitch. And I reach up. 

To you.

I need you. I need you. I NEED you. I NEED YOU. 

They always say that, says the woman.

I NEED YOU. I NEED YOU. I NEED YOU. I NEED YOU. 

But… he’s fighting his nature for me, you persist. 

He’s never fought his nature. He’s been following it this whole time, the bastard says to you as he pulls you further from me. His colleagues pour their bottles over me and my body, my body starts to dissolve. 

The disgust in his eye– his stare is the same I gave that tick.

Vampires aren’t predators, he says.

They’re parasites.

And then you– you look at me the same.

[anxious-attachment-culture]

Anxious attachment culture blog

This is for those with an anxious attachment style to vent, talk about experiences or send in characters that you relate to.

> Also see @avoidant-attachment-culture

Rules

- Open with "anxious attachment culture is.." for each ask.

- Do not demean other attachment styles by making negative blanket statements about their nature e.g. "avoidant attachers are always x".

- You may submit asks if you only have anxious tendencies or swing between attachment styles (this includes fearful avoidant/disorganized) as long as it relates to the experience of being anxious.

- You may use sign offs, they will be tagged for filing.

This is run by >> @evilsystemm <<

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[sarachidouinsbae]

am i aroace/aspec or have a horrendous avoidant attachment is the question i ask myself everyday

[feisty-yordle]

[litchiteany]

Epitaph 🪦

Where daylight fails to breach the pane,

You flinch from love’s insistent rain.

Hands that reach, you let decay—

Warmth arrives, then slips away.

Heart murmurs turn to winter’s teeth,

In your chest, no bloom beneath.

All that mattered, all held dear,

Withers in your atmosphere.

I mistook your frost for morning dew,

A thaw I swore my flame could undo.

What was I? A spark, a breath—

Fuel to sate your quiet death.

You name withheld silence “mastery,”

While I endured the slow atrophy.

Still, some ember haunts your night—

Heavy chains, not armor bright.

So hear me now: the world won’t bend,

But pulses on, and wounds can mend.

To love’s not blind, but eyes that see—

A shore untouched, where tides run free.

JI

7-22-2024

[bpderanged]

I used to tell myself that being an orphan meant I wasn't allowed to rely on anyone. From the very beginning, I was made to feel like I was a burden. So as a kid, I would feel guilty for being sick, hungry, or needing anything at all.

That's why I learned to stay quiet. I never asked for anything. I never complained. Because doing so made me feel like a failure—like I wasn't independent enough like I was supposed to, or like I was asking for too much. Even something as simple as asking for food felt like crossing a line.

But even after escaping that household, I still don't know how to stop bottling things up. I don't know how to ask for help, how to open up, or how to be vulnerable without feeling uncomfortable or ashamed.

Because back then, being invisible and neglected meant being safe and capable. And somehow, I still haven't unlearned that.

[avoidant-attachment-culture]

dismissive avoidant attachment culture is this post

[siecobaina]

you ever feel like you are so emotionally aware of yourself that it's impossible to play the game of dating because every form of affection feels ridiculous and indulgent... and your life is hella boring because you're too sober about everything.??

[elegyofdionysus]

It's so weird. I can only be myself around people who don't know me.

[stuffandthingsandstuffs9]

Never a-fucking-gain and I hope none of you do either!!! Unhealed DAs cause so much trauma...