cherrymf15

[cherrymf15]

The other day I was sick with a sore throat like to the point where I was delirious in pain. It hurt to breath, talk and just exist. Anyway in my delirium I hallucinated a scenario where Eddie had a wurmple???? Like the Pokemon. And this wurmple helped him and Buck get together??? I have no memory of how the fuck it happened or why my brain said Eddie would have a wurmple out of the available Pokemon but it made sense to my brain at the time and no one I know watches 911 so im embarrassing myself on the Internet to get it out of my brain. Enjoy

[cherrymf15]

I suck at friends

Why is making friends so hard? Like I'm 22 years old at uni and I currently have 2 people I'm able to say are genuine friends. One of which I've known since I was 7 and the other I met at uni. I've had other friends between those times but after we left school they just drifted, so like if I see them we're not gonna like fight or anything but I also know I can't count on them to be there for me. And like I try but I'm a socially anxious fuck with I'm pretty sure undiagnosed autism of some fucking kind so socialising can be a lot. And like I don't know if putting in more effort will help at this point. I can't tell if I'm just genuinely unlikeable unless you spend a lot of time with me and get over that or if I just need to get over myself. I'm just so sick of feeling lonely even with my 2 friends cause while I love them both to death there are things I don't feel like I can tell them sometimes and I still just feel so alone. I think I just suck.

[cherrymf15]

Well fucks? Get to it!

[cherrymf15]

Btw it's okay to be sad about being aromantic, sometimes it really does feel like a bummer. I promise it feels a lot better after a while but it really is okay to be sad about it

[cherrymf15]

Professor: choose a controversial (ish) topic and feel free to talk about it however you want

Me, an Aroace with strong opinions: perfect

[cherrymf15]

[cherrymf15]

can’t believe I have to say this but it’s completely okay to question your own sexuality as an adult. you don’t have to have every single thing in your life figured out before you turn 18 babe. those socially deadlines are not real. there’s actually no such thing as deadline for learning new things about yourself as long as you’re alive

[cherrymf15]

Bi to aro/ace pipeline is so real

[cherrymf15]

the phrase “ vanilla in bed ” is so amusing to me because that implies the existence of different ice cream flavoured sex positions

[cherrymf15]

announcing our most important joint project ever! the phaby

[cherrymf15]

Claim it ❤️

[cherrymf15]

Inevitable

I bided my time waiting for the day you'd realise you're mine but that day is no more not since, you chose her

You've always been there grew up breathing the same air always just assumed it would end with me and you

You made me believe in kisses, and date nights, in love at first sight in soulmates, in dances, and butterflies thought that's what we were going for but now I know for sure that it's just me who thought we were inevitable

Thought I was a few chapters ahead that you just needed to see how perfect we would be but obviously you have your doubts or else you'd be here now

Now you're no longer there no longer breathing the same air remember the daisy chains you'd make I planned them for our wedding day

You made me believe in bouqets, in cupid, in valentines in love notes, rom-coms and wedding nights thought that's what we both wanted but now I'm left feeling haunted because I thought we were inevitable

It's not the story's end yet so let me tell you how this should end thought this would end with your arms around me thought this would end with us getting married thought this would end with dancing at midnight thought this would end with you and me tonight

Thought you'd always be here now I'm finding it hard to breath air It's just so hard to admit that you think we don;t make a great fit

You made me believe in heartbreak, jealousy, love internalised in desire, love unrequited, in the what if's you've always been my best friend that's why I thought it would end with us as inevitable

[cherrymf15]

I think I lost my spark. I don’t talk as much, I keep to myself, and I’ve mastered the art of distance. It’s not that I’m mad or bitter. I just don’t have the energy to show up the way I used to. Somewhere along the way, I slipped into this “I don’t care” phase, ghosted people without meaning to, and became comfortable in my own silence. Maybe it’s healing, maybe it’s just exhaustion or maybe it’s depression. Either way, I’m learning that sometimes, pulling away is part of finding yourself again

[cherrymf15]

[cherrymf15]

I still find it bizarre that I can know someone, eat dinner together, watch tv shows together, call one another, hold hands, laugh together, share my feelings, spend hours together and then the connection is over. I realise there is some mismatch, some deep incompatibility which means that to continue the connection will mean to suffer needlessly. And suddenly there’s a gap in my life, that doesn’t feel like it has really been filled by anyone. And it’s sad because I sometimes see people with the same features, or the same kind of voice and I think of you. Tonight it all feels very sad….

[cherrymf15]