confusioncloud

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Rewiring

Something strange happened last night. I had a weird, stressful dream. Now nightmares are not uncommon for me, I haven’t slept well since like 2016 I think. What was strange was that any stressful situation my mind created, my mind resolved in the dream. And it did not wake me up. Normally I am being chased by something, falling or something violent is happening and that wakes me up. My dream…

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Big Dipper

I was today years old when I heard the term Hip Dips. I did not know it was a thing. And I did not realise how plagued by body image issues I was when I heard this is caused by your pelvic bone, not solely by fat, and that other people had it. I have so many things about my body I would like to change but the puff at my hips, where I thought I was supposed to be smooth and flat was the top of my…

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More dead than a Zombie

More dead than a Zombie

I watched that movie, the Dave Bautista one, Army of the Dead? Not a bad action film if you ask me. Not that great either, but it was entertaining. I’m not going to spoil anything major here but if you are planning to watch it, there are some minor revelations I am going to make. Not sure if anyone else watching the movie had the same takeaway as me, but I sat there thinking, bloody hell, the…

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The Long Run

My relationship with exercise has always been tumultuous. It took me many years to finally realise that I should not be regularly exercising for an end result, and rather just incorporating it into my life to just have fun and feel better. About the same amount of years it took me to realise not everyone has the right to give me advice about my health and losing weight just because I’m fat.

S…

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Holding out hope

A little backstory, I was talking (i.e. messaging) as friend as I needed a character for a government job and he works for the government, when he told me to not have expectations to get a call back for the role I was applying for. He wasn’t being shady, there is just a preference for graduates from the local unis for government positions. To which I replied, don’t worry if there’s one thing I…

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Social Distance License It dawned on me that some of us should receive certification for being social distancing/isolation experts. This is because we live our lives predominantly solo.

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Shorts

I bought a pair of PJs online. Short sleeve, with shorts because I live in a tropical climate. They arrived, I was happy. And then my parents happened. If you have not red any of my other posts let me tell you something, I am fat. Chubby rolls everywhere. So these shorts that came with the PJs right, I personally don’t think they are bad. It’s mid-thigh/mini skirt length, roomy, perfect for at…

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House mouse

With all parts of the world in some form of lock down, there has been an increase number of memes, post, rambles about what people will do when things go back to “normal”. I am however pretty happy with the current situation.

Working from home is great, it gives me more time to exercise, cook my own meals (i.e. eat healthier), I don’t have to see the toxic idiots I work with. I guess I didn’t…

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Backdate

There’s this thing people do, write letters to their younger self. Accomplished people, celebrities write and post these, I believe as encouragement to young people going through a tough time. I get that. But then you have your average Joes and Karens writing them. They are supposed to be therapeutic? I thought I would give it a go.

Dear Younger self,

It gets better. Just kidding, no it…

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Happy

It’s been a long while. Yesterday I had to reset my WordPress login information. It was such a pain that i thought to make my efforts worth it I better write something. I have wanted to write more.

So my life has not changed too much since I started this blog. I’ve had some career progression, still single, still navigating life the way I do. I struggle a bit with mental health and…

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Litmus Test - Racism edition

Litmus Test – Racism edition

If you ever need to find out how racist your new friends/acquantainces you just have to see how thier toddlers react to you. This only works if you are a minority. It happened to me yesterday. My ex-coworker, or to steal a phrase from Ron Swanson, work proximity associate, invited me over to her house for a gathering. Her daughter was afraid of me. She was fine with everyone else. I would put…

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How to be kind to your single friends

How to be kind to your single friends

Since my first post 6 years ago about being endangered, not much has changed in that part of my life. Well I have moved from being chronically single in my 20s to chronically single in my 30s. I want to say it’s different, that I’ve embraced the solitude, independence, etc, but truth is I’ve already done all that and then some. It’s pretty much like being single in your 20s except now you are…

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Losing momentum

I promise I still want to and enjoy writing/posting. I don’t know why I’m had such a prolonged dry spell and haven’t been able to post anything decent. So many ideas, so little motivation. I think maybe I might be undergoing a mild form of depression or something. Which is strange because life is going pretty okay. I am having some hormonal issues so maybe that’s affecting some chemical balances…

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Excitement

I forgot how exciting it is to travel. Like the exploratory kind of travel to a new place. I just booked my tickets to Vancouver/Seattle and I am so bloody excited I feel like a would up spring. I’m only going in September so it’s a bit pre-mature my excitement, I know. I’m also kinda freaked out because I most likely will be there solo. I was looking up shopping over there and went to the store…

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Flying solo

So, as you know by now, I’m non-voluntarily a member of the lonely hearts frequent flyer club. That’s a lame opening, but I had to tie it in with the title somehow. Being single in your 30s, it’s kinda liberating but lonely. That’s probably the best way I would describe it. And why am I writing about this? I am guessing it was brought on by Valentine’s day. The 31st one in my life and the 31st…

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2018

I was going to say happy 2018 in the title, but who am I kidding. It’s just another day/year. Same shit different date. It’s been a while since I blogged. Not too much as changed. Still single, still fat, still watching “Say Yes to the Dress” as my guilty pleasure, just older and not that much wiser. Before I go on any further, I suppose I should do a 2017 in review type thingy. Well for me the…

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