cvtmvtt-v4

[cvtmvtt-v4]

❌SFX🔪FAKE🐶PRACTICE❌

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with the grippers on? wow🐾🐾🐾

[cvtmvtt-v4]

there is no such thing as deep enough you will never be happy with it

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i understand why some people say shit like "cat scratches dont count!" (they do absolutely count) because the difference between people who have milder injuries and people with more severe injuries feels massive. i dont mean like one group is 'more' or less sick or whatever its just the experience of waking up for months with the same cut fused to your sleeve is very different to it being gone in a week. thats not mentioning the difference in long term health implications.

both are completely valid but the people saying shit like "idk why people are so dramatic about self harm, its safer then drinking!!" or whatever (stop comparing addictions omg) feel so entirely disconnected from my experience of seeing my own arterial blood and trying to decide if its "bad enough" for an ambulance or if ill probably be ok without (obligatory this is a terrible idea and not following my own advice like this has landed me in the hospital, call an ambulance if you ever hit an artery or if your not sure if you need one)

and even the difference between people who can say "oh ill just stop cutting my arms for summer so i can wear short sleeves" and people with scarring is huge. "i have to be clean for a few weeks so i can go swimming" and like fuck i wish i could be able to stop for a week or two and not have a single cut on me i wish i could not have scars for one day and do something like that. i spent 2 months trying to be able to let everything heal and not have any healing sh for one day and ofc it wasnt healed even with the best wound care i could manage. it needed like one more month still maybe longer.

all self harm is self harm but that dosent mean there isnt a difference in experience

[cvtmvtt-v4]

challenge: cut myself every day until i reach my next goal weight✨

[cvtmvtt-v4]

i just want someone to hope i’m okay

[cvtmvtt-v4]

scratching my healing cuts sounds like a fkn washboard

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abled people are out here showering daily, cooking 3 meals a day, exercising, doing their laundry, cleaning, having a job and/or going to school, and have hobbies + a social life???? like what the fuck??? these people cannot be real

[cvtmvtt-v4]

just put two n two together nd realized i have a really hard time eating in front of people because my evil stepdad told me i chew like a horse when i was a kid

[cvtmvtt-v4]

cut by accident: ‼️❌💔🤬🔥

cut on purpose: 🧚‍♀️✅💝✨💐

[cvtmvtt-v4]

i’ll look at a wound n say “good job”

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h8 lying to my dr bc she’s literally the sweetest and most considerate one i’ve ever had but it’s also like ,, babygirl……….,, ,.ya you signed up for all of this but not all of /me/……..you don’t deserve to know this much pain.,,,…. just up my meds..,,….❌💔💔🩸

[cvtmvtt-v4]

TW 3d track/vent

❌❗️‼️‼️❌❌❗️god muttie stfu❗️❌❌‼️

,.?!…

anyway, ,,im down like 20lbs since last month nd i didn’t even notice so yippee but goddammit if i don’t stop binging im gonna beat myself in the head ha.ha.ha.❌❌❌❗️❌❗️❌❌❗️❗️coffee helps sm i just eat nothin nd shit my guts out,, thanks mom💙(she loved coffee)

[cvtmvtt-v4]

I think something died inside me. I can smell it rotting from the cuts

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FUUCK WORK i just wanna cut myself❗️and cry‼️nd make a lil friendship bracelet‼️❗️ FUCKKCKXK

[cvtmvtt-v4]

my cuts are at the itchy stage now kill meeeeeeeee i look like a fucking dog with fleas scratching my thighs constantly

[cvtmvtt-v4]

just wanna wear my scars like accessories but society says NO❌BAD DOG❌BACK IN YOUR KENNEL❌MANGY LITTLE BI-❌❌❌

[cvtmvtt-v4]

TW/sh vent

nonononono i’ve been wanting to go deep but i’ve been holding off so i didn’t worry him, but he’ll be gone for a while and literally nothing will be holding me back. i’m terrified i’m shaking i’m so fkng scared bc i know i’ll do it. it’s just that mental barrier is gone now and i’m so so scared of my own mind ,,sighh

can never let gang know he’s my temporary life support ,, ,