eclipses-relationship-adventure

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

website

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

i've seen quite a bit of confusion about this, so let me attempt to clear things up :

empathy is the ability to feel somebody's emotions as though they are affecting you personally. for example, somebody tells you "my dog died last night!" -> you now feel as though you've lost a pet personally -> you feel grief and sadness just like the other person. not everyone has empathy. it's a trait some people develop and others don't. some have high empathy, some have low empathy, some (like me) have none.

sympathy is the ability to understand and care about somebody else's struggles, even if you don't feel them yourself. so, somebody tells you their dog died -> you realize how this affects them emotionally -> you care about this person, and are upset that they are suffering. not everyone has sympathy either! it's a scale, just like empathy.

compassion is doing something to relieve another person's suffering or make them feel better. somebody tells you their dog died -> you don't want them to remain upset -> you come up with ways to help them feel better, like offering comfort and distractions, or other forms of support. compassion is a learned trait, not something you can be born with like empathy or sympathy. anyone can learn to be compassionate, although some may struggle more with it than others; it's a skill, just like anything else.

however, none of these are required to be a good person. that's a choice you make on your own accord. i hope this clears things up!

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

GUYS FUCK THEY FIGURED IT OUT WHAT DO WE DO

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

As a rule of thumb, don't reblog donation posts or people asking for donations unless they've been vetted and reblogged by Palestinian bloggers. We usually go to lengths to verify this shit because we know scammers have been faking to get people to send them money, using the urgency of our genocide as bait.

It's disgusting this is what we're dealing with, but people are losing money because of some truly evil people out there.

Accounts don't just randomly spring up on tumblr without gofundmes while asking for someone to help them create a campaign. Fuck out of here with that shit.

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

Cuz I feel like if everyone is going to cheat on me with someone who is better or worse than me. Why even bother trying to look for loyalty?

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

There will no longer be “the one who got away” attitude from me - I don’t want to be in yearning. And also it helps me forgive myself for past, immature actions or just things I couldn’t control.

If it’s meant to be, then it will be for however long it is. And I’ll be okay if it’s not.

I can trust myself, and I can trust my ability to be more authentic so I can love and respect people more appropriately, as I keep learning in this life. (Including respecting myself without moral judgement!!)

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

ATTN POLYAM FOLKS: how do you personally deal with insecurity and jealousy? And I don't just mean little passing moments, I mean when those feelings are at a point where they feel suffocating and insurmountable.

Mine have both been pretty severe and impactful and I'd like that not to be the case anymore, but sadly there isn't a switch to just turn that shit off (much to my disappointment). It was much better when I had an LGBTQ+ counsellor to talk things through with (because he just got it), but my government hates gay people and stopped funding free queer mental health support just as I was really starting to make good personal progress, so, I'm back to square one here and nothing I've tried is working.

How make it stahp?

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

If someone tells you they can’t be with you or shows you they can’t be with you, in the way that you truly want or need (regardless of the relationship type that you are seeking)*, then:

Believe them

Believe them again when they tell/show you again

Know that this has nothing to do with your worth or how much you can be loved

Don’t continue behaving like nothing has changed

Be real with yourself: you know this person can’t give you what you want, and they know they can’t give you what you want - if you disrespect yourself sticking around in the same dynamic with this person when you want something different, then you will also feel disrespected by them

If you think you have a lot to offer and hope that they can see that… then know that no matter what they think you can offer or bring to the table, their perspective of you may be different (for any number of reasons!)

In other but similar words, if you think you have a lot to offer (“why don’t they value me?” or similar), and they still don’t want it while you keep trying to pursue/convince/chase/prove yourself, then both of you are losing respect for you

You can feel love for a person, and that person can also be not right for you simultaneously

It’s okay to change the dynamic of the connection, if you are truly okay with it (maybe you have to take space to be okay with it instead of ending the relationship all together)

Don’t ignore your needs/feelings for something that’s not real no matter how much that person means to you - it is self-abandonment and self-harm, it prevents you from breaking this cycle

You are rejecting yourself by allowing yourself to be in a misaligned connection

*prerequisite: figure out how you feel and what you want/need (totally ok if you have to update this over time)

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

Some of y'all be like "Oh yeah I support Cluster B" until they:

Have debilitating cognitive problems

Are depressed

Have emotions that aren't aesthetically pleasing

Don't know healthy coping mechanisms

Have a different view of social norms

Struggle with relationships

Do actions that for you are "obviously purposefully evil"

Explain the thought process behind their actions, not excuse them

Have trauma that just by existing doesn't invalidate yours but somehow that thought scares you

It's almost like you don't support Cluster B, hm.

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

To everybody with BPD who’s disorder is not gentle, silent, or socially acceptable but loud, violent, and turns others away from them; you are not a burden, I promise you that you are not a burden. You are not your negative symptoms. They are not a reflection of the person that you are.

We need more recognition for borderlines that cannot control or have a difficult time controlling their rage, borderlines that become violent during an episode, borderlines who use subst4nces, borderlines who have delusions that are not socially acceptable, borderlines who have a difficult time regulating their emotions, borderlines who do not have friends or have a difficult time making them, borderlines who cannot trust others, borderlines who cannot decide or figure out who they are, borderlines who have symptoms which are considered “ugly” by others because an expectation had been put upon us to act a certain way.

BPD can be ugly. BPD can be lonely. BPD can break social expectations. BPD can make you abandon your loved ones or cause them to leave you. BPD can be so delusional that the sufferer is fully convinced within their delusion. BPD can be scary and confusing for the sufferer.

Just because your symptoms are more difficult to handle than another, it does NOT make you unlovable.

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

abandonment issues are sooooo funny. "i'm scared people will leave me so i push them away first to avoid being hurt" girl the prophecy is self fulfilling!!! the sabotage is coming from within!!! you forgot about the cycle!!!!!!!!!

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

there is no positive connotation to the word 'narcissist' in any context. if i'm talking about what psychs identify in me as 'narcissistic traits' I use the word because the behavior i'm describing is objectively harmful to myself and others. it's very odd to see people attempt to spin it into something positive as a form of anti-ableism.

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

all these people 'married to the grind'. gotta be one hell of a polycule

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

love confessions apparently

the dream of every Cluster B /lhj

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

[Image ID: an instagram post from @/nationalsjp of six students at the McMurdo Station in Antartica, standing in snow and ice, holding a palestinian flag and signs that say "Antartic workers for Gaza", "Ceasefire", and "Fund science not genocide"]

protests have literally made it to antartica