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Damnnnn I kinda need to die of carbon monoxide poisoning and then get cryogenically preserved and then have the company that preserved me go bankrupt and quietly dispose of my thawed body in a local culvert where I get eatennnnnn by some armadillos yes armadillos as their native habitat is expanding ever northwards

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Thinking of an AU where Glinda's parents get divorced for any reason, and since it's not good for a woman to stay unmarried she winds up marrying Frexppar and moves with Glinda to Clowen Grounds and then the three girls have to be sisters.

It's partially inspired by Garota do Momento, a telenovela that is currently on, and it would start with Glinda being a bratty teen and legit a villain. She's dating Fiyero (don't ask me how) but he breaks up with her before he actually meets Elphaba. When they meet they fall in love and Glinda doesn't accept that. At the end she would have a redemption arc and become genuinely good and best friends with Elphaba, I'm even thinking of doing Gloq, which I never really liked, but it makes sense for this AU.

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Just in case you guys were wondering how much I loved Luísa Bresser, this curtain call video was shot by my best friend, and I am right next to her yelling at the top of my lungs for her "AAAAAAHHHHHH MARAVILHOSA!!!!" LOL I was actually a little hoarse after that. (She's dressed similar to Dorothy, with the red shoes. She bows with Boq and they're wearing their Shiz uniforms).

That's how much I screamed for Rodrigo Garcia in Anastasia in 2022, and he was in the ensemble that night, but I was disappointed he wasn't Fiyero (he is the swing and has been up a few times), but I guess maybe that was for the best, because if I had to scream like that twice on the same night I probably wouldn't be able to teach the next day LOL (I still screamed his name when he bowed with the Ensemble, though, the video just doesn't get that part. Also, that was probably the best Ensemble cast of any show ever in the world! In case you're looking for him, he's the tallest person on stage, he's right at the back at the end of the video).

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Details about the new Brazilian production of Wicked that I loved so much, part 1 (or how it's much more book accurate without changing anything from the Broadway production, if you know what I mean):

You guys were freaking out about how horny ALAYM was, but that's not even the tip of the iceberg, because the whole thing was super horny, from beginning to end;

During No One Mourns The Wicked, right after Frex leaves for the assembly and before the Wizard arrives, Melena strips down to her RED CORSET and BLACK PANTALOONS to wait for Oscar;

The Ozdust was nothing short of a sex rave, there was SO MUCH explicit sexual stuff going on I am sure I didn't catch all of them;

There was a couple dancing and then the guy twirled the girl around, she jumped and locked him with her legs around his waist, he held her ass and "fucked" her over their clothes;

They made Pfannee a man, like in the movie (which sucks), but they redeemed themselves by making him form a throuple with Shenshen and another dude from the ensemble (they started dancing together and humping each other during Dancing Through Life);

Fiyero grabbed Galinda's boob during Dancing Through Life, also they kiss a lot more (during I Am Not That Girl he shows her the area where they released the Lion Cub and recreates the scene to her, but she stops him with a make out session while Elphaba is watching from a distance, singing about how she wishes it was her kissing him instead);

Elphaba and Fiyero almost kiss (on purpose) during the Lion Cub scene. They keep getting closer and closer, with their eyes closed and lips pouching until they realise what they're doing and stop (as hard of a Fiyeraba shipper I am, I think that this is almost taking it a step too far, since at this point Fiyero is actively dating Galinda and Elphaba is her best friend. Kind of an asshole move on their part, but they didn't choose to fall in love and they did manage to control themselves before it was too late);

When Morrible catches Elphaba being all Emo in the rain and says she "mustn't get wet" Elphaba says "too late for that" back 😀 get it?! She's not talking about the rain she's talking about Fiyero...

Right after Fiyero runs away with Elphaba, when Morrible gets into the Wizard's lair still unaware of what just happened and asks for Fiyero to solve the problem, the Wizard, who is sitting on the steps of his machine with his legs spread wide open, says "I think our Captain of the Guard had other plans" and pelvic thrusts into the air suggestively;

By this point everybody and their mothers has seen the ALAYM clip for this production, but my night's was slightly less horny (I don't know if there were parents complaining, or maybe they were too tired because it was the last show of the week) but we couldn't see Elphaba's ass, but there was neck kissing, boob grabbing, Fiyero aggressively undressing her and lying on the ground in-between her legs. Also her second act dress was essentially BDSM lingerie (her bra was visible all the time, it's on the poster:

See?!) By the way, that's the playbill. T4f, the production company, has been doing digital ones for a few years now. I can share it with you guys if you want;

During the cat fight scene, when Glinda says that the Wizard is not the only one stealing things that don't belong to them, Elphaba whimpers, caresses her whole body, pats her lower belly near the crotch, sighs and says "yeah, he (Fiyero) chose THIS body!" 🥵 Get it?! Because they were having sex just now?!

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So, my favourite non musical theatre related artist is Hozier. Love his voice, love his aesthetic, love his "I grew up in an aggressively Catholic country" trauma (which I share, being Brazilian) and I think he's the greatest poet of our generation.

I love how Hozier-coded Fiyeraba is. Andrew talks about love that is bigger than life, about never having enough of the woman you love, about how sex is a religious experience when you are that in love, about how not even death could keep him away from his lover.... Because tell me why Fiyero dedicated his entire life to find her and keep her safe, ran away with her without her even having to ask him to, literally went on a suicide mission (because he knew what was going to happen to him) just so that Elphaba could have a chance to be free, died a horrific death, got brought back to life through his lover's power, love and need for him and immediately started crawling his way back to her, not even caring that he couldn't walk properly with his new body, and then sent her THIS NOTE:

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark, earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her", anybody?!

Anyway, just me sharing some love for the greatest couple of all time, bare with me!

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Okay, I just got back from the Renault Theatre. My soul is not back to my body yet, I have no words. All I can bring myself to say is THE WORLD'S GREATEST NESSAROSE OF ALL TIME IS BRAZILIAN AND HER NAME IS LUÍSA BRESSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never cared much for any Nessarose, never had a favourite even, but now I. DO. She stole the show (which was great, btw), she was BY. FAR. the greatest actress and greatest vocalist I've ever seen on stage, I have no words!

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Incorrect Wicked quotes based on actual conversations I've had with the people that inspire my take on the characters #3

(talking about something they had to do later, only a few hours after discussing it)

Elphaba: you forgot already?

Fiyero: I'm sorry, all the weed burned my brain. Also I have ADHD, so there's that!

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FAVELA VENCEU, CARALHO!!!

My Glinda and I are going to see Wicked in São Paulo this Sunday. We live 600km away from each other (she lives in São Paulo) and we haven't seen each other in over a year.

I've worked so hard for this. Wicked has been my whole life for over a decade now and this is the first time I'm going to see it live! And I'll take a plane back (I'll be literally flying solo and free not fully free, because the only reason why I'm going to take a plane back is because there wasn't a bus in a good time and I need to work on Monday LOL)

Pray for me to get Rodrigo Garcia as Fiyero, because he's the swing and he was Dimitri when I saw Anastasia and he was literally the best thing that I've seen in my life and also, like, 80% of the reason why I want to go to this specific production in the first place!

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Incorrect Wicked quotes based on actual conversations I've had with the people that inspire my take on the characters #2

Talking about the future, not necessarily about their relationship, just the future in general.

Fiyero: you know what's your problem, Fae? You're too pessimistic!

Elphaba: I'm not pessimistic, I'm realistic. It's not my fault reality sucks!

Fiyero: ... what a pessimistic view of reality!

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Don't worry, I have a problem with absolutely everything in this movie. I will complain about capitalism and I will complain about everything else, too.

If I go on a rant about everything that I hate about this movie, I might as well write a novel. It's easier to talk about the things I don't hate, because they're only 4:

Jonathan Bailey (although I thought I would hate him, too. I was pleasantly surprised by his performance);

Ethan Slater (who was always my dream Boq, and he delivered);

Idina Menzel;

Kristin Chenoweth

I have a huge dislike for everything else in this movie, and I talked about them in the post and on previous posts, but if that's what you want to take away from all I had to say...

FACTS!!!! "A love letter to Wicked" is crazy. The only thing I would suggest, though, was have Norbert as Avaric. I was really hoping Fiyero would have that iconic entrance and say -what was it?- 'I won't last any longer at this school than I did the other ones.'', but I now understand why he had the horse. I liked that he could personally relate to the topic of talking animals and therefore was against them being discriminated. The part where he yelled "Hey!" after Dr. D was being taken away (or harshly yanked by his antlers) was a nice addition.

I actually think that giving him a Horse and giving Elphaba a Bear caretaker was one of the worst mistakes of the movie. It gives "I'm not racist, I was raised by a black servant who was almost part of the family" vibes.

What are they implying? That the only reason Elphaba and Fiyero care about the Animals is because they have a personal history with Animals that were good to them? Because I actually think that the original "they care because everyone should care, because Animals are people and you don't have to personally have witnessed them being good in order to be against their genocide" has a far bigger impact!

As for Avaric, I don't mind that they completely left him aside, because he's barely a character in the musical, and if you've read the book you know Fiyero already is Avaric (Act I Fiyero is like Avaric if he wasn't an asshole, that's why he's white, while Act II Fiyero is closer to his book counterpart, but still with some of the more scandalous traits from Avaric), and also I think NLB deserves a bigger role, being an OG, but I would cast either Aaron Tveit, Derek Klena or Jordan Litz as Avaric, if I had the chance.

(Item 11 of what I would have done - I would have Aaron and Derek singing a rendition of Popular (which Aaron already did) for the end credits, and when the name of whoever was playing Fiyero appeared it would go like this: they sing "and even in your case-" name appears "-though it's the toughest case we've yet to face..." as a little joke, because they're two of the most popular Fiyeros ever and he would be a complete newcomer to the industry, who people don't know yet, but now they will.)

Fiyero was always the one who took action to save the Lion Cub first, and depending on who plays him on stage he also acts distressed when Dr. Dillamond is being taken away (NLB did so first, and many followed), so the movie didn't really do anything new here.

"A love letter to Wicked" could only be written by people who actually understand it. Winnie Holzman wrote the script, and Part I didn't actually change anything, but as we already know from the trailer Part II is going to be a lot different, and I don't know how much we can trust her, because although she understands Wicked perfectly (she wrote the original show, after all) she has to work with what the director and producers (who didn't understand shit of Wicked) want, so her hands are tied (no wonder screenwriters go on strike so often).

Another trope I noticed they're bringing in to this movie is the performative liberal feminist idea that "feminism is when female characters wear pants" by making Elphaba wear pants 🥱. Wicked was already very feminist, even if it's a product of its time, but tell me how a male director, male producers and a male costume designer made such a "revolutionary" decision when they took Pfannee, a female character that came from the books to the stage (who I ship Glinda with), and not only turned her into a man, but that man is BOWEN YANG?!?!? Arrest everyone involved with that decision!

The original is so real, so raw, so painful and yet so beautiful. This movie is performative capitalism at its finest! What a shame!

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So, based on the dream I had, which I described in this post, there were some more details to our production:

The costumes, even though heavily fantasy influenced, also had late 60s/early 70s inspired aesthetics. That was because we wanted to drive the message home in a more personal way to the Brazilian audience, associating the political environment in Oz to our history with a Military Dictatorship, which lasted from 1964 til 1985, but faced it's most oppressive, most violent years from 1964 til 1978, thanks to the Institutional Acts, the worst one of them, the AI-5, would have allowed for what they did to Fiyero to happen, for example!

So, I can draw, and I am pretty decent at it, but I'm also lazy, and I can't do digital art, so I used this game from Doll Divine to help me illustrate, with limited resources, some of the costumes that appeared in my dream (and some I made up because the scene wasn't in my dream. Just pretend that Elphaba is green, okay?!):

Shiz uniforms: Dear Old Shiz, The Wizard and I, What Is This Feeling, Something Bad and the first part of Dancing Through Life.

Dancing Through Life and Popular outfits (minus the hat, because there was no option). For this one I was actually able to make Glinda's outfit exactly like it was in the dream, except there was no option of flower headpieces. Also, Elphaba's dress was black with red details (but there was no option for that).

One Short Day, Sentimental Man and Defying Gravity.

Bonus:

Galindafied Elphaba (pretend that her earrings are actually a hair piece 👍🏽)

In the dream I could get a glimpse of what Glinda's engagement dress looked like, as my POV was from one of the wings (even though I was playing Elphaba. I get a lot of 3rd person POV dreams), I could see the stage and the opposite wing where Glinda was, she was watching ALAYM and filming it with her phone to post on her Instagram stories. Then she put the phone away and the stage assistants came to change her into the Bubble Dress while she kept watching our borderline R rated ALAYM LOL (she had a huge, cheering expression the whole time, too). I couldn't find any doll maker with options that could help me recreate the look, but it looked a little bit like this.

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are you trying to imply cynthia’s elphaba isn’t feminine? Weird! She spends most of the first movies wearing dresses btw.

It's wild to me how you got to that conclusion, WTF?!

All I said is that it's not revolutionary nor feminist to make a female character wear pants, and they always do that as if it was, and they only do that to the strong, independent character. They did that to Elsa on Broadway, now they're doing that to Elphaba, too. And that's specifically when they change a costume that was originally a skirt or a dress to be pants in order to seem empowering, when in reality all that that implies is that skirts and dresses make you less empowered, and that's misogynistic.

I'm not against pants, I'm wearing them right now, but that's literally the most performative, meaningless girl boss feminism ever. Why doesn't Glinda wear pants? Or Nessa? Why is it only Elphaba? See how that is merely performative, with no real meaning behind?

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FACTS!!!! "A love letter to Wicked" is crazy. The only thing I would suggest, though, was have Norbert as Avaric. I was really hoping Fiyero would have that iconic entrance and say -what was it?- 'I won't last any longer at this school than I did the other ones.'', but I now understand why he had the horse. I liked that he could personally relate to the topic of talking animals and therefore was against them being discriminated. The part where he yelled "Hey!" after Dr. D was being taken away (or harshly yanked by his antlers) was a nice addition.

I actually think that giving him a Horse and giving Elphaba a Bear caretaker was one of the worst mistakes of the movie. It gives "I'm not racist, I was raised by a black servant who was almost part of the family" vibes.

What are they implying? That the only reason Elphaba and Fiyero care about the Animals is because they have a personal history with Animals that were good to them? Because I actually think that the original "they care because everyone should care, because Animals are people and you don't have to personally have witnessed them being good in order to be against their genocide" has a far bigger impact!

As for Avaric, I don't mind that they completely left him aside, because he's barely a character in the musical, and if you've read the book you know Fiyero already is Avaric (Act I Fiyero is like Avaric if he wasn't an asshole, that's why he's white, while Act II Fiyero is closer to his book counterpart, but still with some of the more scandalous traits from Avaric), and also I think NLB deserves a bigger role, being an OG, but I would cast either Aaron Tveit, Derek Klena or Jordan Litz as Avaric, if I had the chance.

(Item 11 of what I would have done - I would have Aaron and Derek singing a rendition of Popular (which Aaron already did) for the end credits, and when the name of whoever was playing Fiyero appeared it would go like this: they sing "and even in your case-" name appears "-though it's the toughest case we've yet to face..." as a little joke, because they're two of the most popular Fiyeros ever and he would be a complete newcomer to the industry, who people don't know yet, but now they will.)

Fiyero was always the one who took action to save the Lion Cub first, and depending on who plays him on stage he also acts distressed when Dr. Dillamond is being taken away (NLB did so first, and many followed), so the movie didn't really do anything new here.

"A love letter to Wicked" could only be written by people who actually understand it. Winnie Holzman wrote the script, and Part I didn't actually change anything, but as we already know from the trailer Part II is going to be a lot different, and I don't know how much we can trust her, because although she understands Wicked perfectly (she wrote the original show, after all) she has to work with what the director and producers (who didn't understand shit of Wicked) want, so her hands are tied (no wonder screenwriters go on strike so often).

Another trope I noticed they're bringing in to this movie is the performative liberal feminist idea that "feminism is when female characters wear pants" by making Elphaba wear pants 🥱. Wicked was already very feminist, even if it's a product of its time, but tell me how a male director, male producers and a male costume designer made such a "revolutionary" decision when they took Pfannee, a female character that came from the books to the stage (who I ship Glinda with), and not only turned her into a man, but that man is BOWEN YANG?!?!? Arrest everyone involved with that decision!

The original is so real, so raw, so painful and yet so beautiful. This movie is performative capitalism at its finest! What a shame!

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The more I think about it, the more my BDSM AU and canon fuse into one (aside from the parts that actually make it AU, like Elphaba and Fiyero getting together at Shiz and him joining her after Defying Gravity), because like, it makes SO MUCH SENSE that they would be like that, and I have canon evidence!

So, yesterday I saw Wicked for the thousandth time, a slime tutorial with Stephanie J Block and Sebastian Arcelus, and although Stephanie is on my Top 5 favourite Elphabas ever and her Fiyeraba chemistry with Sebastian is intoxicating (for obvious reasons) I am actually not a fan of his Fiyero. I just don't think he captures his personality that well. But regardless of who plays Fiyero, the script is always the same.

I do know every line by heart, but it was the first time I rewatched the show through this BDSM eye, and it's so much a part of their personality:

*Elphaba talks over Fiyero and keeps on ranting* "Do you ever let anyone else talk? 😡"

*She turns away, he grabs her by the arm (and she likes it)*

*They have sex in a public space (the woods), not caring if they might be seen*

*she looks away in shame of who she is* "Look at me!" He commands her and she obeys.

*as they're making out he lays his hand on her neck and she goes for his hair*

*he swings in on a rope he's holding onto with only one arm to save her. So he's good with ropes?! 🌚"

*Fiyerocrow asks her to touch him and she obeys*

Also, the fact that both of them were willing to die for each other and that Fiyero actually did die for her shows a level of devotion and adoration that only people who are willing to completely surrender their bodies to each other are capable of.

I know the position of Dom!Fiyero and Sub! Elphaba is counterintuitive, but that's exactly the BDSM dynamic that works best. Elphaba is strong willed, stubborn, rebellious, loud, bossy and confrontational, but when Fiyero commands, she obeys, because she deserves to have a break from having to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders 24/7 and be cared for by the only person who puts her and her needs ahead of their own. And how could suave, carefree, flirty and sunny Fiyero be a Dom, a Master? But doesn't he deserve to be taken seriously every once in a while? Doesn't he deserve to be trusted to be the one in charge? And isn't Elphaba the only one who realises how smart, how capable and how caring he actually is? It makes perfect sense!

Also, I do think they like to switch positions every now and then, but still they mostly keep it to Dom!Fiyero and Sub!Elphaba, also because Fiyero is naturally a sexual person with a lot of experience, while Elphaba is just now allowing herself to fully discover her sexuality ("for the first time I feel... Wicked!" Right?!) and wants to learn everything from him!

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And literally all they had to do was LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE!!! I've been an active member of this fandom since the early 2010s (because I was still a child back then) and even before they confirmed a movie adaptation that was all we ever wanted and ever asked for!

"A love letter to Wicked" MY. ASS!!!

Things I would do if I was adapting Wicked to the movies (considering that I couldn't bring the original cast back for any reason):

I would have cast age accurate, complete newcomers for the main cast (aside from Morrible and the Wizard). Insanely talented 18-25yo kids you've never heard of, but are glad got discovered. Kids that would never have a chance for a big break if not for this, kids from outside of the Anglo-Saxon world, outside of the global north and the global west even, who could never afford an agent or to be SAG-AFTRA on their own, etc;

I would have cast Lisa Minelli as Madame Morrible (such a MISSED opportunity for a Judy Garland homage here);

I actually liked how they made Idina and Kristin's cameo, so I would do something that big and campy, but I would a) make it loud and clear that they're Kumbricia and Lurline (because I actually read the book, unlike a painful amount of people involved in this movie) and b) dress them in their original Broadway outfits (the second act wicked witch dress, minus the broom and the hat and the blue bubble dress);

I would cast exclusively Wicked alumni to play every secondary character. Stephanie J. Block to play Melena, Norbert Leo Butz to play Frexppar, every Shiz student, every Munchkinlander, every Emerald City citizen, every Witch hunter would be played by former and current Elphabas, Glindas, Fiyeros, Nessas, Boqs, Wizards and Morribles from productions worldwide;

Glinda would wear many more colours than pastel pinks and lavenders, because not even Barbie was that one-dimensional;

I would make it three hours long, but I would make it one part;

I wouldn't add new songs, because it's sinful for Wicked to have any songs that weren't originally sung by the OBC, especially not by Idina or Kristin;

I would, however, find a way to include As If By Magic into it (I know it was cut when they decided to make Dr. Dillamond a History professor instead of a Life Science one, but still I think the scene gives so much to Fiyero's character and his relationship with Elphaba and his views on Animals' rights. With some thought into it we could definitely make it work. Where there's a will, there's a way);

I would make it PG-13 for three reasons. 1-) unlike some greedy Hollywood producers, I actually wouldn't want for little kids, who were being heavily marketed to, to read the books (if you know, you know), 2-) I would push the limits of the rating to the very max with my take on ALAYM and 3-) look at what my girl Elphaba has been through, she deserves an F bomb, c'mon;

I would have released it in 2023, because why the fuck wouldn't you plan everything to be released on the 20th anniversary, for fuck's sake?!