honehbee42

[honehbee42]

destroy the idea that angels are blonde and blue eyed and fair skinned !!! destroy the idea of holy imagery consisting only of white people !!!

[honehbee42]

women should lift weights because it prevents osteoporosis in old age and makes you a more capable person in everyday life please shut up about butts and waists and hourglasses i'm going to fucking kill

[honehbee42]

"being autistic is not an excuse for doing/saying something bigoted without holding yourself accountable" and "there are times when autistic people cannot deduce when something they did/said was wrong because something that may not be innocuous to you can be innocuous to them and them asking for an explanation is not the same as dodging accountability" are two things that can and should co-exist.

[honehbee42]

ladynoir relapse.

[honehbee42]

im sorry i always drawing sh*t like this but I read that personal story about jin having a fever and then… HOW is he this cute?? Why did the officials make a sick man look this heartbreakingly pretty?? Oh Jin you’re literally my ice princess… I’m losing it

[honehbee42]

[honehbee42]

truly wild how driving really does become like piloting a mech after a while. like it sounds so car-bro-y but the car genuinely does become like an extension of your body. your muscles are simply making the correct micro-movements to perfectly manouvre a giant piece of machinery through a constantly moving maze while your brain is busy singing karaoke. you can physically feel when a gap is too small for your car-sona to fit through, like a cat putting its whiskers into a crevice. your brain is suddenly able to do on-the-fly s=d/t calculations in a milisecond and tell you exactly how quickly you need to move to avoid an oncoming vehicle while turning across the road. why does driving unlock the unused 89% of my brain

[honehbee42]

my love language is rage baiting and the thrill of the kill

happy self-ship/yume-ship september everyone! i need you all to go maximum freak! ive included the prompt im using this year below.

since i dont/have never experienced romantic attractions ill be adjusting the prompts. but this is a good place to start!

[honehbee42]

pocket-sized husband . 👀

[honehbee42]

[honehbee42]

[honehbee42]

Dan Heng x ♂️!Y/N

[honehbee42]

[honehbee42]

the problem with calling inanimate objects “girl” is that once you start you cannot stop. I said “girl” to the dishwasher because that bitch would not close no matter how hard I whacked her pussy. what is wrong with me

[honehbee42]

Lil redraw, finally back to drawing with watercolors lol

2023 ver under cut:

[honehbee42]

[honehbee42]

「 EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY 」

pairing: phainon x gender neutral reader

tags: gender neutral reader, no agab/pronouns mentioned, established relationship, hurt/comfort, second person pov

warnings: mental health, canon mass murder/destruction, canon deaths, suicidal ideation, grief, survivors guilt, mentions of a past suicide attempt, phainon breaks down, angst with a happy-ish ending (listen it’s amphoreus I did the best I could)

word count: 1.6k

a/n: phainon needs a little love and to be told everything will be okay, he’s been through so much… :( also, if you’re ever struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out. call your local hotline, reach out to a friend. you are not alone. also, I wrote all of this in a different style than I usually do, and on my laptop instead of my phone. this was a terrifying experience for me. I do hope it reads well lmao. and a little disclaimer, that I am not a mental health professional, how I wrote this won’t resonate with everyone, and may not be how you may handle things. everyone is different, everyone requires different tactics to pull them back in. it doesn’t make anyone or their experiences any less valid.

It wasn’t like it was a secret that Phainon was depressed. It was obvious to all the Cryhsos Heirs that the destruction of his homeland and the flame chase journey was taking a toll on his mind. To be fair, though, who wasn’t? Agaela lost her humanity from how big the toll has been. Maybe that’s why she has a soft spot for the deliverer—he has so much humanity.

He loves everyone, even a city that wasn’t his own. He cares about the fate of every soul on the planet like it’s his personal duty to do so. All of that weight, without stopping for one second to truly grieve.

His first suicide attempt was kept a secret. Castorice found him after having a gut feeling that something was wrong. Tribios wouldn’t leave his bedside. They were worried something would happen to their snowy. Aglaea tried to lessen his workload, but Phainon wouldn’t have it. He decided to take his failed attempt as a lesson and to keep pushing forward. No one could break through to him. They knew it would be a matter of time before that weight got to him again.

Until you came along. Things became easier, and he was finally able to breathe again after drowning for so long. With you, he could let his mask down and be himself. But that grief was still there. That weight. And it started to take a toll on him again. The Chrysos Heirs noticed the familiar signs again. And they were stuck with the pressure—do they tell you or not? About his depression? Surely you knew. Do they tell you about his past suicide attempt, which could break Phainons heart to tell you without his consent? The lines there were blurry.

But to Tribbie, it was clear. She knew it would be better if you were prepared, and she was ready for Phainon to be upset with her. She asked you to go on a walk with her through the baths, one you were happy to take.

“How has snowy been?” She asks softly, staying by your side. “The recent black tide attack I’m sure is taking a toll on him.”

You let out a soft sigh and look down at her. You smile sadly before answering. “He’s… Phainon. He’s upset and more fired up than ever to destroy the tide and for the flame chase journey to succeed.”

“… Look after him okay? He is always so strong for those around him. He carries the world on his shoulder as if it’s his burden alone to bear. But he isn’t alone.”

You both look over to the commotion going on not too far away. Phainon and Mydei are bickering—again. Something about another challenge. Phainon is smiling and laughing, but you know better. He’s happy, yes, but it’s only for the moment. Despite the worries of the other Chrysos Heirs, you are aware of Phainons mental state.

“I promise, Lady Tribbie, I’ll always look after him.”

And you mean it. And it didn’t take long for you to keep that promise.

To any outsider, the never-ending day cycle of the city of Okhema might mess with their sleep schedule, but it doesn’t for you. In fact, the times you’ve experienced night have messed with you more than anything. Due to the never-ending day cycle, it can be hard to tell what time of day it is. So opening your eyes to the light-filled room isn’t anything new to you.

What is new is waking up to an empty bed. You swear you went to sleep in Phainons arms. Even when he had an emergency, he’d still wake you up, give you a quick rundown, and even a kiss goodbye. So to say you’re a little concerned would be an understatement. You could feel it in your gut; something is wrong. You sit up in bed, looking around for your missing boyfriend. It didn't take you long at all to find him.

Phainon is sitting on the balcony overlooking the water, his sleeping tunic loose and falling off his shoulder. He's sitting with his legs close to his chest and his head resting against a pillar. He is... quiet. Just staring off into the distance. Then you notice his breathing is off. You feel a pit forming in your stomach as you slide out of bed. You quietly pad your way over to him, stopping just behind him, running your fingers through his hair.

He lets out a shaky sigh before looking up at you. His eyes are hollow, his broken smile doesn't reach them either. You've seen this once before when he woke up from a particularly bad nightmare about his hometown. All your alarm bells were going off—he isn't okay. You take a seat next to him, giving him some time. You couldn't deny, your heart was pounding in your chest.

"Do you... ever wonder... what things would be like if the black tide didn't exist?" He eventually asks in a low voice.

You reach your hand up to continue to play with his hair as you take in a heavy breath. No matter how much you try to prepare yourself for moments like these, it still terrifies you to the core. One wrong move, one slip-up, and you can cause more damage than good. But you are one of the only people he trusts. You know he won't easily open up to anyone else. Leaving him right now to find someone else is a terrible idea, and you know that.

"All of the time, actually. I hear your story, Lord Mydeimos' story, Lady Tribios, Lady Aglaea... All of the things they've been through. I think about the people I see every day who lost their homes and families from it." Your voice felt a little shaky. You've heard all their stories; you know how bad all of it is.

"I've made so many promises to save Amphoreus, to save Okhema. I made a promise to myself to avenge Aedes Elysiae, my family, my friends, Cyrene, and myself. But every time I fight back, every time I try to win... I fail. I... I'm not fit to hold a core flame, I'm not fit to lead Okhema if anything were to happen to Aglaea. I don't deserve it..."

He's barely able to get the words towards the end. His voice is breaking, his breathing unsteady. Your heart shatters, "Oh Phainon..." passing through your thoughts.

You move to sit more in front of him, bringing both of your hands to his cheeks and cupping them. You make him look at you, your hold is gentle but steady. His eyes are starting to gloss over as his breathing becomes progressively more unsteady.

"My love, this shouldn't be your burden to bear. You shouldn't put all of this on your shoulders alone. What was done to you—to everyone—it isn't okay. You're strong, one of the strongest people I've had the luxury to meet. I know what you're capable of. No one, no one, is meant to do any of this on their own."

"Who will look after them then? They have no one--"

"All of us, Phainon. All of us. Lord Mydeimos looks after his people as well as Okhema, and while people say Lady Aglaea is cold and heartless, she would never let anything happen to Okhema. Professor Anaxagoras, as rough as he is, will always protect the grove. Lady Hyacine, too. She protects everyone, no matter their origin. And despite Lady Tribios' condition, she will always protect her students. And me. I will always be here, by your side, holding your hand, every step of the way. And sky above, if something ever happens to Lady Aglaea, you still won't be alone. I can't change the past, but I can have a say in the future."

You could see Phainon fighting back tears the entire time you spoke. But the second you talked about yourself being there, he broke. You can't blame him. He always felt so alone. And the gentleness in your voice, you purposefully coaxed him into it. You know damn well he needs to get it out. You rub your fingers across his cheek to wipe the tears away before pulling his head into your neck. His cries grow stronger at the action, his arms wrapping around you.

Your voice starts cracking, you can't help it. You don't like seeing him hurt. "You are worth it Phainon. You're worth following, you're worth carrying a coreflame, you're worth being a deliverer. And most importantly, you're worth loving, you're worth having around."

Phainons' sobs grow stronger and more broken as he fisted your tunic. You can also feel his body growing more slack against you. He's clinging to you like you're his only salvation.

"I love you. Not the warrior you are, not what's expected of you. I love you. I love your laugh, your playful personality, and the little things you do to show affection to those around you, like a little puppy. You will get through this, my love, you're not alone." You whisper each word into his ear with gentleness and care.

"I love you. I love you I love you I love you." He cries quietly, his voice cracking every time. "I'm sorry..."

"Hush now, you have nothing to be sorry for. Everything's going to be okay."

You continue to hold him for the next couple of hours as he cries. His sobs move through different stages. Pain, grief, fear, anger. Not once do you stop your comfort, whispering reassuring words that you’re here for him, that you aren’t going anywhere.

You made a promise with Lady Tribbie, you will look after him. Not a promise for their sake or yours, but his. A promise to him. Including a hidden one in your heart. To cherish and love him through everything, no matter what. To stay by his side, as he would do for you. Because he was Phainon—your Phainon—and he deserves nothing less.

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