hubristicwizard

[hubristicwizard]

well yeah i have a pet hydra and it only has one head. i'm not going to cut its head off just to make it look cooler, you asshole. that's seriously unethical. and i'm not letting you cut its head off either. if you really want a hydra with multiple heads, you should go for a rescue- but if you want your pet to look cooler at the cost of its physical health, maybe you shouldn't get any kind of pet at all. no, the hydra's not for guarding my evil tower, it's my pet. have you ever heard of a pet? like a puppy or a kitty? you think i can't defend my evil tower by my self?

[hubristicwizard]

[hubristicwizard]

of course i am not "Burnt Out" or suffering from "Spellcaster's Block" or whatever. i am simply so busy thinking of all the really great potions and spells i'm GOING to make that i don't have time to actually make any of them.

[hubristicwizard]

♱ MISCELLANEOUS WHIMSIGOTH PNGS ♱

[hubristicwizard]

fucked up the roster for the week and accidentally scheduled two guards who only tell the truth on the same day. fuuuuck now anyone can find out which is the right path to go down

[hubristicwizard]

[hubristicwizard]

GET HIS ASS

do you hate the French as much as I do?

Woah mama I don't hate anyone except wizards

[hubristicwizard]

[hubristicwizard]

I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off

[hubristicwizard]

it's this simple: my amulet and I are in a very happy relationship where she's the only one upon whom I can rely and I must slay all who seek to part her from me and wh I mean if I try to take her off she pulls her cord around my neck to hug me soooo tightly that I briefly pass out. sorry that you jealous haters don't understand healthy monogamy.

[hubristicwizard]

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

[hubristicwizard]

evil wizard voice: i too have a "doom scroll"

[hubristicwizard]

your honor how could the witness even know that, i was hidden under a swirling miasma. i mean the suspect was hidden under a swirling miasma

[hubristicwizard]

if they wanted to eat BLTs maybe they shouldn't have made fun of my EXCELLENT WIZARDLY ATTIRE, or made off with one or two of my LOW-LEVEL ENCHANTED SCROLLS. but they didn't think that far in advance, did they?

hey remember the epidemic of EXPLODING TEETH CURSES going around in the 1800's? i still think the banning of that spell was one of the most massive overreaches of Council authority in living memory. like it wasn't even killing people

[hubristicwizard]

the thing is, I don't personally care about COUNCIL REGULATIONS. ive been blatantly disregarding those for centuries. but there are a great number of YOUNG WIZARDS whose development will be stunted by BLATANT COUNCIL OVERREACH

hey remember the epidemic of EXPLODING TEETH CURSES going around in the 1800's? i still think the banning of that spell was one of the most massive overreaches of Council authority in living memory. like it wasn't even killing people

[hubristicwizard]

I don't see how that's relevant to my ability to flawlessly execute a non-fatal EXPLODING TEETH CURSE.

hey remember the epidemic of EXPLODING TEETH CURSES going around in the 1800's? i still think the banning of that spell was one of the most massive overreaches of Council authority in living memory. like it wasn't even killing people

[hubristicwizard]

hey remember the epidemic of EXPLODING TEETH CURSES going around in the 1800's? i still think the banning of that spell was one of the most massive overreaches of Council authority in living memory. like it wasn't even killing people