idek-ka

[idek-ka]

unfortunately i have whatever the opposite of charisma is

[idek-ka]

[idek-ka]

#same

[idek-ka]

Biiiitccchhhhh listen!!!! I met Erling and his girlfriend!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 I’ve been trying to keep my shit together since yesterday because I was still a little fatigued from my chemo and I did not have the energy to come here and start screaming at your ask. Basically after my chemo (which is the worst🤮) my mom wanted to cook roasted chicken for me. I always have the worst appetite after my chemo and roasted chicken and potatoes for dinner helps pick up my spirit. So I was in my mom’s car with my little brother while my mom was in the shop buying the ingredients and I saw this tall blonde guy in a hoodie get out of his car. I was so tired from the chemo it took me a while to realize it was Erling. I just thought “hmmm this mf looks familiar” and then it my two brain cells clicked and I was like “holyy shetttttt it’s fckng haaland!??” And i roll the windows down (mind you I was sooooo exhausted and depleted from the chemo) and I screamed “haaland!!!” And his girlfriend looked back and smiled at my ugly ass and then he tapped erling’s hip and pointed at me. Erling looked at me deadass in the eyes and screamed back “yessss?????” in a joking manner while laughing. And he started walking towards our car. Bitch at this point I realized that he was walking towards me, a person who just spend half a day at chemo. I probably smelled like disease. My hair! My hair was unwashed and greasy. My face dry as fuck, big pores, black heads and everything! My fucking lipssss dryyyyy as the sahara cracking. I looked HORRIBLEEE!!!! Like a horror show! Pleaseeee fuck cancer and fuck my life because i looked like complete shit. I wanted to grab my chapstick but I was too exhausted to rummage through my bag! So I just patted down my hair!!! Girlsjdjdjdjdk and then Erling was beside our car and was smiling through the open window like “hi i’m erling how are you?☺️☺️☺️” and his girlfriend was so fucking beautiful! Like how did Haaland pull a girl like that???? Bro looks like a rough draft and his girl literally so pretty and tall! Anyways back to my ugly ass! I said “hiii!!! 😷 I just got chemo and I have brain cancer !!!!😁😁😁👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾”

💀💀💀

Now why the fuck did I say that??? Why the fuck was that the first thing that came out of my dryass mouth???!!!! I am so fcking embarraseeed holy sheyejedjsk. The deadass silence afterwards was painful!!!!! Nobody knew what to say nextttt!!!!!!! Erling was so shook about my sudden trauma dump that he just looked like 😶😶😶😶 but thank god! His girlfriend broke the awkward silence and said “i’m sorry i hope you feel better soon!” And I was like “yes thank you!” And erling was like “feel better soon. What’s your name?” And I said “joy but im not very joyful these days.” 💀💀💀 again why did i say that?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But at least erling laughed and said “me too but we still have to try.” I am fucking crueidndhddjdjdidodkdiiddodiid i am swimming in cringe! He was so nice! He asked if I like Man City and I said yes it’s my club even before Kun scored his goal. My granpa is a man city fan and that’s how Im a man city fan. And then his girlfriend magically appeared with haaland’s jersey and a pen and Erling signed to in front of me and then gave it to me. I swear to god my head was ringing. Like I did not know what was happening. I think i said thank you or i love you or both. I dont fcking remember all i know is i was sweating and crying. And we shook hands!!!!!!! We shook hands through tge car’s open window! His handshake is so firm and strong! Like when he squeezed my hand it was painful.😭 but his hands were suprisinglu soft??? I dont know. And then his girlfriend said bye and take care. And i said take care and good luvk and then we all waved at each other like the ffking penguins in Madagascar and they walked away. And the whole time my little brother hid in the backseat because he thought it was a big blonde thug asking for money. My little brother is 3 btw and he’s scared of strangers. So I told him it was haaland. I honestly forgot about my brother’s existence for a while ngl. I was just so shook. I was stunned. And now I have an aithentic haaland jersey with his signature! I slept with it last night! My family cant believe it! My grandpa is bribing me for the jersey. I said his ancient ass can keep the money I aint selling the jersey! I’m so excited! My mom was so happy for me we both cried in the car! It’s been such a difficult few months since my diagnosis and this wxperience came out of nowhere like a dream or something. I’m soooo happy and so exhausted and soooo full of life right now even when my brain has cancer shit! And i love man city so much! I love pep’s bald ass! I love our oil money! I love ruben’s ass! I love kdb’s pink face! I love haaland! I love our players and their huge cocks! I love our emptihad! I love our silly tinpot club! It’s my club! I love you! I love all man city fans! I just love life right now! Im so tired writing this ask but i wanted to share this happiness because if i dont i might burst!

*sorry for the mess/word vomit. I usuallh would edit before sending long ass essays in people’s asks but im so tired! Hope you are doing well!

AWWWW JOY I WAS ABOUT TO SLEEP AFTER A LONGGGGG STUDY SESH (its literally 6am im so fucked) BUT THIS POPPED UP AND IT MADE ME SMILE IT MADE ME TEAR UP I WENT THROUGH IT ALLLL!

first of all, you'll beat that nasty bitch! cancer aint got nothing on you! and when you do i hope you'll drop by again so we can celebrate🫶🏻

his gf is the sweetest from what i heard! so sweet of her to go grab a kit so he can sign it🥺 she sounds wonderful, he's a lucky man.

not the casual trauma dump😭 you're so real for that. and you made erling laugh oh my GODDDDD! (why is he not joyful tho💔)

im sososo happy for you like im literally sitting here sleep deprived with eyebags kostas tsimikas could only dream of and i reread this ask like 3 times and i cant stop smiling! what a lovely interaction!!! im so glad you got to experience this and im honoured you thought of me and wanted to share it with me🩵 AND I LOVE YOU TOO you're amazing thank you for sharing this with me i love the chaotic vibe!!!

[idek-ka]

Love On Tour 2022 - Wembley 19/6/22

Credit: me

[idek-ka]

Yo, Stranger Things 4 was mad. Best season yet.

[idek-ka]

Late Night Talking is the catchiest vibe song from HH, been on repeat to listen to the beautiful singing <3

[idek-ka]

Wow. Its just sunk in. Over 24 hours later:

FA CUP IS OURSSSS

Woop woop, but also stress stress :)

[idek-ka]

[idek-ka]

I GAPSED-

[idek-ka]

Me🤝Arthur🤝Broken hearts

[idek-ka]

TRENT ILY SM

[idek-ka]

COYR!!!!

3 points off top. And people said City were clear😮‍💨

[idek-ka]

*Alarm set for 5:30am*

Name: the exorcism begins

[idek-ka]

When the fear of fomo overtakes the want to say "I'm sorry but my mum said no." so you have to go just because 😡

[idek-ka]

having songs to cry to 🤝 students

[idek-ka]

I didn't need any remaining mental stability anyway

idea for a peter x stark!reader: the graveyard scene at the end of nwh and reader is there with happy, visiting tony's grave (lets just pretend he was buried in the same place as may) and she sees peter but doesnt remember him at all :((

something to remember me by

warnings: BIG NWH SPOILERS and angst lots of angst

a/n: i changed it a bit so they’re all visiting may :( my heart absolutely broke writing this btw um have tissues on hand

-

icy air nips at peter’s skin as he paces himself through the cemetery. he carries a white rose along with him, his thumb skimming over its thorns.

he’s severely underdressed for the chilled winter day, something aunt may would surely chastise him for. he could never step an inch outside the apartment until she made sure he was bundled from head to toe.

it used to bug peter to no end. now, he understands that she was only looking out for him. all may ever did was for him.

her love might have been overbearing at times, but that’s because may parker loved fiercely. she loved with her entire being. mind, body, and soul.

she’d taught her nephew to do the same, which is why peter stands before her grave alone. he asked doctor strange to cast a spell making everyone forget him.

knowing peter comes with consequences. he refuses to ruin the lives of those dearest to him any more than he already has, so he thought it best to remove himself from them.

in turn, peter lost the few people he had left; happy, ned, mj, you. he’s on his own. but, maybe that’s for the best.

maybe, that’s what he deserves.

peter kneels so he can set the rose down in front of may’s headstone. he reads its engraving, his eyes instantly glossing.

when you help someone

you help everyone

peter’s chest aches, his heart excruciatingly heavy.

before his grief consumes him, he heaves himself off the ground. he distracts himself by admiring the other bouquets of flowers brought by the many who may touched.

that fierce love of hers went both ways.

proving this to be true, two pairs of feet pad toward peter in the snow. whoever they belong to, they’re visiting may.

“thanks for coming with me, kiddo. it can’t be easy, being here after your dad.”

peter’s head snaps up when he recognizes happy’s voice. happy, he’s missed him terribly. he never even got the chance to say goodbye.

he must be talking to…

“it isn’t, but may was important to you. that makes her important to me, too.”

you.

“y/n?” your name tumbles out of peter’s mouth like word vomit.

he doesn’t notice the confusion your features hold.

peter approaches you slowly, the fragility of yours and his situation pushed to the back of his mind. he blinks his teary eyes that have settled on you.

“it’s… it’s so good to see you. how’ve you been?” he breathes.

you’re beside happy with a comforting hand on his shoulder. happy pats your hand, then continues the short distance to may’s grave.

that leaves you and peter alone.

he takes you in as if it’s for the first time.

there are snowflakes stuck to your hair from snowfall earlier, a scarf wound tightly around your neck. it has a checker print that’s tattered from how worn it is.

it’s peter’s.

he’d lent it to you just recently, during one of your late night walks. you often went on those together.

you were cold, and peter was determined to warm you up. you’d tried to protest at first, too proud to accept the scarf from him, so he decided to wrap you in it himself. you ended up liking it so much that peter let you keep it.

that feels like ages ago, but it was only a matter of days.

“sorry, i…” you trail off, studying the rosy cheeked stranger who’s gazing at you. “do i know you?”

you don’t remember him.

of course you don’t, hence the memory erasing spell.

part of peter hoped it hadn’t worked on you. the selfish part of him, that is. you’re better off this way.

“uh… no,” peter lies, technically.

“but, you know me,” you reiterate. “how’s that so?”

the tips of peter’s ears turn a shade of pink that matches his cheeks. he tugs at the beanie he’d thrown on earlier, covering them.

“you’re a stark,” peter clarifies, shrugging to feign nonchalance. “everyone knows you.”

that is how he met you, through tony. you were the pretty assistant in your dad’s lab, and peter was the dorky avenger in training who would “accidentally” damage his tech so he’d have an excuse to spend time with you.

you press your lips into a polite smile.

“right, yeah. i’d forget if the whole world wasn’t constantly reminding me,” you laugh out.

peter’s sunken heart soars at the sound.

his doe eyes lock with yours.

“your dad… tony. he, uh, he was a real hero,” peter praises. “best of us all.”

you break the eye contact and clear your throat, hands shoving into the pockets of your jacket.

there’s a beat before those words register with you.

“us, huh?” you echo the stranger, who might not be so strange. “are you sure we haven’t met?”

peter winces. he gives a shake of his head, followed by a sniffle.

“oh, uh huh. yeah. i’m positive. positive. i just- i meant that-“

“are you okay?” you interject, your tone softer. “you’re crying.”

brows furrowed, peter swipes his fingers under his eyes. the skin is wet, and his lips taste of salt when he licks them out of habit.

he hadn’t realized.

“i’m fine,” peter assures you. he plasters on another smile for your sake. “really, i am.”

“you definitely aren’t,” you state the obvious.

you’re right. he isn’t fine, not in the slightest. may is gone, tony is gone. despite being right within his reach, you’re gone.

there’s nothing anymore.

there’s nothing.

“i’m assuming you’re here for may parker,” you gesture to happy at may’s grave, revealing, “they, um, dated or something. between you and me, i think it was a bit one sided.”

peter finds himself chuckling upon the mention of may’s and happy’s summer fling. he was more into it than her, to be fair.

“anyway, i’m here for support. i didn’t get the chance to know may too well,” you explain with regret. “but, from what i’ve heard… she was a hero, too. i’m sorry.”

you did know may, though. she loved you like one of her own, peter sometimes swore more than she loved him. you’d hit it off the moment he introduced you two.

since it was because of him you knew each other, he supposes those memories have faded.

“she… she…” peter tugs his wobbly lip between his teeth. “yeah, she was.”

your concern is piqued once again when you notice how the stranger’s body trembles.

“seriously, are you alright?” you question him, eyes fixed on his shaking form. “i’ll bet you’re freezing right now… you must be.”

honestly, he is. the thin material of his attire is no match for new york’s winter weather.

he exhales a cloud of smoke from his mouth, rubbing at his tear stained cheeks with his sleeve.

“what gave it away?” peter jokes.

you begin to pull your scarf loose from your neck.

“here, try this,” you offer the scarf to peter, without a second thought. he’s taken aback by your kind gesture. “no, i… i can’t do that. it’s yours,” peter insists, voice hoarse.

despite his refusal, you place the scarf in his hand. you close his fist around it conclusively, still your same stubborn self. peter stares down at your gloved hand over his. you’re smiling at him when he looks back up, a genuine smile.

“you need it more than i do.”

peter mirrors your infectious smile, nodding once. you let go of his hand so he can slip on the scarf. silently, you watch as he tucks it into his jacket, its scent smelling of you. he inhales a deep breath and lets it flood his senses.

“suits you well,” you compliment the scarf, peter laughing quietly. “thanks,” he rasps.

“well…” you glance over at happy, then back to the not-so-strange stranger. “i should really check on him. you gonna be okay?”

“yeah,” peter murmurs, repeating in a whisper, “yeah.”

for the first time since getting into this mess, he will be.

“sorry again about may,” you sympathize with him.

peter’s head hangs low, his eyes stinging from his dried tears. he doesn’t say anything to you in response, anything at all. you take that as your cue to go.

“wait!” peter stops you the second you turn.

you oblige, both eyebrows raised expectantly.

he doesn’t want you to leave, but you don’t have an actual reason to stay. so, he makes one up.

“aren’t you gonna need this back?” peter points to the scarf.

you grin as you start to walk backwards toward happy, sharing your ironic sentiment.

“keep it,” you call to the stranger, who desperately grips your scarf between his fingers.

“it’s something to remember me by.”