immortalseaturtle

[immortalseaturtle]

okay so it turns out some of you don't like this take. i'm shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you. you're just mad i'm right (I don't even know what I was thinking when writing this originally. I was tired and spent 18 consecutive hours on one essay. it sucked) I'd like to clarify a few things. Mostly that I think Aziraphale does love Crowley and I don't think his manipulation is fully intentional, but if you think for a moment that he's not at least partially manipulative then you're shitting yourself.

Aziraphale is so good at manipulation, we often overlook it

Aziraphale, the manipulator: An essay.

Aziraphale, the angel. Love him as much as the next guy but he's not always as good as he makes us think he is - but I'm also not sure he's even doing it on purpose. He's always this soft character, you know, who fights for himself, his loves, and what he believes to be right, even if what he believes to be right doesn't align what Heaven believes to be right - although Heaven doesn't actually care about being right, they really just want power - and while this is right, it's also more than that and it needs to be mentioned.

The two have known each other since the beginning of time. We see their first meeting when Crowley is creating his nebula (friendly reminder this is the ONLY time we see him as an angel), and they have a short talk. This also brings up a separate theory about Crowley not telling us something, which I might talk about separately, if I remember.

Anyways, Crowley has religious trauma, naturally. It's undeniable, but because of it, it also makes him slightly of a nihilist I'd argue. For him, it's not a religion, it's part of his life, right? Just like satyrs in greek mythology weren't like "ooh i'm part of this mythos" or whatever, that's just how they existed, because then there would've been some fourth wall breaks. But Crowley is angry, and rightfully so. He spends so much time working on his nebula that'll be around for millions of years only to learn that not only is it actually for human entertainment who won't even be able to witness all of it, but it's actually only going to be around for a whole six thousand years and then, bam, all gone. And he's angry about this. He approaches god, asks his questions and then goes sailing into a pool of sulphur, allegedly. And he's angry. He can't take it out on god. That's how he got here. He can't take it out on angels. He can't take it out on other demons (he can, but it's not like it'll do anything), so who's left?

Humans. He's angry and takes it out on humans and he's like a boiling teapot, slowly letting his anger out because it's his only option. But he knows the humans don't really deserve it, which is why he does it slowly.

At this point, you're probably thinking "but turtle. you said this was about aziraphale being a manipulator." be patient, young one. I'm getting there. have some patience, my love.

Aziraphale notices this, so he deliberately puts himself in positions that allow him to be saved by Crowley ("Rescuing me makes him so happy"). Which might be seen as, "oh that's sweet. he's watching out for crowley," because now Crowley has some sort of purpose instead of wandering around. But it also makes crowley dependent on Aziraphale. He offers his companionship, but Crowley has nobody else. Humans die too quickly, he doesn't give a rats ass about any of the demons, and the last thing he wants is to return to heaven (that bit's important). And Crowley, like anyone else, wouldn't want to be alone for the rest of time. His threats to run off without Aziraphale are empty threats. He won't leave without him. But it also means that wherever Aziraphale ends up going, Crowley would likely follow. After however long they spend together, it's fair to say they probably know each other pretty well. However, Aziraphale seems to underestimate Crowley's hatred for Heaven.

Regardless, also doesn't seem to really care. When Zira gets discorporated and visits Crowley as a spirit, asks where he is, and learns that Crowley didn't run off, he isn't happy to see Crowley still there. He ignores the statement "I lost my best friend." The first thing he does is asks Crowley to do something for him. If my memory serves me correctly, the only time Aziraphale actually admits (verbally) that he wants them to be together is when he has the chance to have everything he wants - but because he chooses his stupid promotion, it's clear that he doesn't actually care all that much. Crowley has shown to him that heaven doesn't give any fucks about being righteous. Zira thinks that Crowley's love for him is stronger than his hatred for Heaven, and as well all see... he's wrong.

What bothers me the most, though, is how unaffected Aziraphale is though, about watching Crowley leave for that last time. I mean yeah, he's affected, but not so much to the point that he seems to regret his actions.

I mean, come one. Look at him. That is not a face of regret. When he talks to the Metatron, he's more concerned about leaving his bookshop behind than he is Crowley.

I am going to leave it there, mostly because I'm very sleep deprived and most of this was written while delirious

[immortalseaturtle]

Aziraphale is so good at manipulation, we often overlook it

Aziraphale, the manipulator: An essay.

Aziraphale, the angel. Love him as much as the next guy but he's not always as good as he makes us think he is - but I'm also not sure he's even doing it on purpose. He's always this soft character, you know, who fights for himself, his loves, and what he believes to be right, even if what he believes to be right doesn't align what Heaven believes to be right - although Heaven doesn't actually care about being right, they really just want power - and while this is right, it's also more than that and it needs to be mentioned.

The two have known each other since the beginning of time. We see their first meeting when Crowley is creating his nebula (friendly reminder this is the ONLY time we see him as an angel), and they have a short talk. This also brings up a separate theory about Crowley not telling us something, which I might talk about separately, if I remember.

Anyways, Crowley has religious trauma, naturally. It's undeniable, but because of it, it also makes him slightly of a nihilist I'd argue. For him, it's not a religion, it's part of his life, right? Just like satyrs in greek mythology weren't like "ooh i'm part of this mythos" or whatever, that's just how they existed, because then there would've been some fourth wall breaks. But Crowley is angry, and rightfully so. He spends so much time working on his nebula that'll be around for millions of years only to learn that not only is it actually for human entertainment who won't even be able to witness all of it, but it's actually only going to be around for a whole six thousand years and then, bam, all gone. And he's angry about this. He approaches god, asks his questions and then goes sailing into a pool of sulphur, allegedly. And he's angry. He can't take it out on god. That's how he got here. He can't take it out on angels. He can't take it out on other demons (he can, but it's not like it'll do anything), so who's left?

Humans. He's angry and takes it out on humans and he's like a boiling teapot, slowly letting his anger out because it's his only option. But he knows the humans don't really deserve it, which is why he does it slowly.

At this point, you're probably thinking "but turtle. you said this was about aziraphale being a manipulator." be patient, young one. I'm getting there. have some patience, my love.

Aziraphale notices this, so he deliberately puts himself in positions that allow him to be saved by Crowley ("Rescuing me makes him so happy"). Which might be seen as, "oh that's sweet. he's watching out for crowley," because now Crowley has some sort of purpose instead of wandering around. But it also makes crowley dependent on Aziraphale. He offers his companionship, but Crowley has nobody else. Humans die too quickly, he doesn't give a rats ass about any of the demons, and the last thing he wants is to return to heaven (that bit's important). And Crowley, like anyone else, wouldn't want to be alone for the rest of time. His threats to run off without Aziraphale are empty threats. He won't leave without him. But it also means that wherever Aziraphale ends up going, Crowley would likely follow. After however long they spend together, it's fair to say they probably know each other pretty well. However, Aziraphale seems to underestimate Crowley's hatred for Heaven.

Regardless, also doesn't seem to really care. When Zira gets discorporated and visits Crowley as a spirit, asks where he is, and learns that Crowley didn't run off, he isn't happy to see Crowley still there. He ignores the statement "I lost my best friend." The first thing he does is asks Crowley to do something for him. If my memory serves me correctly, the only time Aziraphale actually admits (verbally) that he wants them to be together is when he has the chance to have everything he wants - but because he chooses his stupid promotion, it's clear that he doesn't actually care all that much. Crowley has shown to him that heaven doesn't give any fucks about being righteous. Zira thinks that Crowley's love for him is stronger than his hatred for Heaven, and as well all see... he's wrong.

What bothers me the most, though, is how unaffected Aziraphale is though, about watching Crowley leave for that last time. I mean yeah, he's affected, but not so much to the point that he seems to regret his actions.

I mean, come one. Look at him. That is not a face of regret. When he talks to the Metatron, he's more concerned about leaving his bookshop behind than he is Crowley.

I am going to leave it there, mostly because I'm very sleep deprived and most of this was written while delirious

[immortalseaturtle]

How could none of the angels sniff out Crowley in Heaven?

So back in the bookshop when Gabriel and Sandalphon wants to purchase their "pornography", they sniff out "evil" pretty easily. Aziraphale does a fantastic job with his response, but this happens after Crowley has left the bookshop and there are three angels in the presence. You mean to tell me that NONE of them in heaven could smell the demon they're trying to burn alive? Not ONE of them was like "oooh he smells eeEEvIIiiLLll"??

[immortalseaturtle]

facts about crowley:

Knows not feed ducks bread. Is unsure if they have ears.

[immortalseaturtle]

He showed me a road through our galaxy and told me to wonder at the stars.

the ramblings of an insane man once told me of a path that led to the birth of our universe.

[immortalseaturtle]

the ramblings of an insane man once told me of a path that led to the birth of our universe.

[immortalseaturtle]

super fancy donut

bagel

unfancy donut

[immortalseaturtle]

egg.

the chicken came first

[immortalseaturtle]

yippie ki-yay

[immortalseaturtle]

Someone: What's your favorite book?

Me: *forgets every book I've ever read*

Person: “What’s your favorite song?”

Me with no object permanence: “UhHhHhh, it’s hard to choose.”

[immortalseaturtle]

I'm bored

[immortalseaturtle]

why is my messages thing saying I have a notification but when I click it nothing happens

[immortalseaturtle]

You know what I do to fall asleep? I watch episodes of assorted shows like Total Drama, Ninjago, and 6teen until I pass out which usually only takes like 45 minutes. Often while eating something. Works surprisingly well

every frickin night

(patreon)

[immortalseaturtle]

hey do you have a tumblr

no sorry

[immortalseaturtle]

What if- what if it doesn't? What if humanity goes extinct before that point? Then, it will be not worried about cause nobody's gonna have it cause we're all ded

One day in the future cancer will be treated as a cold and nobody will worry too much about it

[immortalseaturtle]

Finding joy isn't about the destination, but the journey, along with the experiences you receive along the way

[immortalseaturtle]

The Josh fight is easily the greatest thing to happen this year... maybe even this decade.

A bunch of people came together and had a fuck-ton of fun. Money was raised for a charity.

and to think this all started because of a MEME.

It's amazing.