incorrect-grindeldore

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Albus: This is the worst thing you've ever done!

Gellert: You know, you say it so much it's lost all its meaning.

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Gellert: I can tell you plan on making me into a criminal no matter what I say.

Albus: You ARE a criminal!

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Gellert, climbing through Albus’ window: Sorry I’m late, Liebling *undressing* I had to help my aunt with stuff *climbs into Albus’ bed* I’m here now though. I’m really keen to try that thing you mentioned earlier.

Aberforth: *wakes up; screams*

Gellert: *falls out of bed; screaming*

Aberforth, sits up, half asleep: You? What the fuck are you doing here?

Gellert, smiling innocently: I’m sorry, I thought you were Albus!

Aberforth, horrified: That doesn’t make me feel better!

Albus, bursts in, brandishing his wand: What’s going- *looks between them; sheepish* Oh. Yes, well, err, Abe, you remember Gellert Grindelwald...from next door?

Gellert, clutching a sheet to his body, waves: Hey!

Aberforth: …

Aberforth, sighs: I fucking knew it

Gellert, mutters: I thought this was your room

Albus, embarrassed, clears his throat: No. It’s the...next one.

Gellert, nodding: Yeah. Okay *gathering his clothes* I’ll remember that for next time *shuffling to the door* Not that they’ll be a next time *waving* Nice to see you again, Aberforth *leaves*

Aberforth: *glaring at Albus*

Albus, nonchalant: We’re conducting an experiment.

Aberforth: Get out.

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Gellert: I guarantee you, someday soon, I will be Albus’ second husband.

Albus: What happened to my first husband?

Gellert: Nothing you can prove.

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Albus, flustered: Aurelius, what you just saw-

Aurelius, grinning: You and Mr. Grindelwald were kissing...

Gellert: Do you want me to silence him?

Albus: You are not cursing my nephew.

Gellert: Fine. Don’t come crying to me when the little brat exposes our plans.

Albus, crouches down to Aurelius: You’re not going to tell your father about this, are you?

Aurelius, shrugs: No offence, Uncle Albus, but I don’t think father will care very much.

 Albus, frantic: No. No, he will care. He never passes up an opportunity to judge me. If he finds out about this, I’ll never live it down.

Gellert, offended: Okay, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Albus to Gellert: Just wanted to let you know that I always win at ‘whose ex is crazier’ because of you.

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Gellert: Is everything alright, Professor?

Albus: Fuck you calling me ‘Professor’ like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it.

Gellert: *smirks*

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Albus: We go back.

Gellert: Excuse me. We more than go back. We were partners.

Travers: In what way?

Gellert: In every way. And then some.

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Albus, about Gellert: I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time.

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Newt: Look, sir, you're obviously upset about Grindelwald. So me and Theseus came to help you out.

Albus: I'm not upset.

Theseus: We found you in the park throwing rocks at old couples.

Albus, sobbing: WHY SHOULD THEY BE HAPPY?

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Albus: My thoughts are clear and straight.

Gellert: That’s the only thing straight about you, too.

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Aurelius: Uncle Albus?

Albus: Yeah?

Aurelius: Why don’t you have a wife?

Albus: Because I’m gay. I like boys.

Aurelius: Oh. *pauses* Why don’t you have a husband?

Albus: ...

Albus: It’s complicated.

Aberforth: He’s in prison for trying to take over the world.

Albus: Like I said, it’s complicated.

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Gellert, thinking: Albus…I wonder what he’s doing now? Is he thinking about me? Does he wear the blood troth? I bet he looks good. I want to kiss him. He’s so strong and powerful and clever.

Queenie: *walks in*

Gellert, thinking: OH BOY I CAN’T WAIT FOR CREDENCE TO KILL DUMBLEDORE I JUST HATE HIM SO MUCH SUCH A THORN IN MY SIDE HE’S THE WORST

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Albus: All people who try to save the world are idiots. That’s why I’m saving this world myself.

Gellert: ...because you’re an idiot?

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Gellert: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse. That’s what I always say.

Albus: You should say something else.

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Aberforth: Are you two, like, dating now?

Gellert: Yeah!

Albus: Yes, we are.

Aberforth: Why?!

Gellert: I happen to find your brother very appealing.

Aberforth: Oh, I understand that. I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong in his head.

[incorrect-grindeldore]

Gellert: Well, I’m a man with very high standards.

Albus: *exists*

Gellert: Oh no, you’re meeting all my standards!