incorrecthatchetfield
incorrecthatchetfield
into the hatchetverse
681 posts
submissions open! header created by starshipranger7 other starkid sideblog: @tedlovesmusicals main blog: @diyvampyrism
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incorrecthatchetfield · 1 month ago
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Ted: Y’know, we have a lot in common, Emma.
Emma: No we don’t.
Emma:
Emma: And don’t ever say that again.
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incorrecthatchetfield · 2 months ago
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Ted: I could watch children fall off bikes all day, I don't give a shit about your kids.
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incorrecthatchetfield · 2 months ago
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Grace: We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.
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incorrecthatchetfield · 2 months ago
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Steph: Because it’s too complicated – it’s like algebra: Why you gotta go putting numbers and letters together? Why can't you just go fuck yourself?
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incorrecthatchetfield · 2 months ago
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Max: nice onesie. does it come in men’s?
Richie: I think you come in men enough for all of us
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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Bill: Ohh, I like Blinky. He was fun
Alice: Dad, he tried to kill us
Bill: I try not to remember the bad things about people.
Alice: That's all he tried to do, there were no good things!
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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Paul: I apologize for saying "fuck" in front of you earlier.
Tim: You just said it again.
Paul: I am not a role model.
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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Emma: I find that not killing people is very easy.
Prof. Hidgens: Well, we all have dry spells, kid.
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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Richie: I can trust you, right?
Paul: Of course
Richie: You do seem to be the least disturbed out of everyone in the family.
Paul: What an almost sweet thing to say
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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Officer Bailey: The first rule of gun safety is get the fuck out of my house.
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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Trevor: HELP! I TOLD MOM I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!
Richie, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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Incorrect Nerdy Prudes Must Die 7/?, nerdy prudes group chat plus bonus text
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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Grace, thinking: How has he not noticed that I'm mad at him? We haven't talked in 20 minutes. What is he even thinking about?
Max, thinking: I could take a bear in a fight. Not like a grizzly bear, but like a black bear. Jump on its back, put it in a headlock. Done!
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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Pete: You haven't been practicing your Polish, I can tell
Ted: Nie, nie jestem, widzisz. jestem w ciąży
Pete: You just told me you're pregnant
Richie: Congratulations!
Ruth: You're glowing
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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Pete: Maybe the problem is you?
Ted: Oh, the problem is definitely me. Next question.
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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Richie: I can say I know who fyodor dostoyevsky is because it makes me sound smart
Richie: have I read crime and punishment?
Richie: fuck no its boring
Richie: have I read animorphs?
Richie: yus yus yus yus yus
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incorrecthatchetfield · 3 months ago
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[Ted driving Pete and Richie home from school]
Richie: What is your favorite wizard swear?
Pete: Is there any context to the question, Richie?
Richie: Of course not, Peter.
Pete: Ok...
Ted: I think I really like "fuck".
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