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Merry Sinsmas everyone!

Enjoy your day indulging in your favourite sin!

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Lucifer: Apparently some people go to bed and just… sleep??? They don’t softly broil in existential dread or replay every mistake they ever made???

Lucifer: And then they wake up - hold on let me check my notes -

Lucifer: REFRESHED??? I just. It sounds a bit fake to me

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Lucifer: If I was boss, I would treat my goons right. They would know love. “You’ve got it, boss” will be met with “Stay safe out there, boys. You’re my pride and joy”

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Charlie:

Lucifer:

Charlie: One of us is still ‘it’ from a game of tag when I was younger

Lucifer:

Lucifer: Way to fuck me up on a Tuesday

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Bee: If you want straight answers, ask a straight lady

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A Drunk Hellhound: [Sings the ABCs out of order]

Bee: Yes girl, REMIX!

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Lucifer, texting at 2 AM: I have a question for you

Charlie: Yes, Dad, I’d cry if you died

Charlie: Yes I’d still love you if you were a worm

Charlie: Yes I still love you

Charlie: No I don’t want to disown you

Lucifer: Thanks sweetie <3

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Lucifer: I haven’t said “Wowzers” for a long time

Lucifer:

Lucifer: Probably due to depression.

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Tex: My girlfriend saw a rabbit in her yard eating grass and said “that would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

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Mammon: Could you be quiet?! I’m tryin’ to think!

Ozzie: Don’t worry, doing anything for the first time is difficult.

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Bee: *slams the door open* GUESS WHO’S DRUNK!

Tex: *still half asleep*

Bee: *does a little twirl as she shuts the door and turns on the light*

Tex: I guess Bee…

Bee: You guessed right! *falls on top of him and cuddles him*

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Ozzie: Mammon, you’re the salt of the earth

Mammon: Aw, thanks

Ozzie: …I meant scum of the earth.

Mammon: Thanks

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Lilith: Be back in a bit baby!

Lucifer: Okay, bye, I’ll misssss youuuu!

Lilith: I’LL MISS YOU FUCKING MORE!

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Lucifer, answering the phone: Hello?

Mammon: It’s Mammon!

Lucifer: What did he do this time?

Mammon: No, it’s me, Mammon, it’s actually me

Lucifer: What did you do this time?

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