intergalacticmuffinman

[intergalacticmuffinman]

I want a show based off of James And The Giant Peach that’s about all the bugs trying to raise James inside their little peach pit house after their grand adventure

Mr. Grasshopper home schools James, and they go to museums and poetry reading and musical preformances with Miss Spider who both encourage him to make his own

Miss Ladybug takes him on walks through Central Park and they garden together with Mr. Worm, cause no one knows dirt better than him

I imagine Mr. Centipede acts as more of a fun uncle than anything- he’s the one who takes James to places a kid probably shouldn’t go but is responsible enough to know when to dip, and he definitely takes James to his first baseball game at Yankee Stadium

And I imagine James just sits and relaxes with the Glow Worm, maybe talks to her about stuff that troubles him, and even if she can’t hear very well he continuously claims she’s the best listener in the house

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Don’t you know how pretty you are?

[intergalacticmuffinman]

I like it when this appears at the bottom of my screen cause instead of getting annoyed like I would at most pop ups I just go “Hi! :)” and then keep scrolling

And a bonus cat that was in my feed just for you

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Me: I wouldn’t call myself an artist but I think I make very pretty doodles

The doodles in question:

( He didn’t feel like leg day was necessary )

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Aw man, how am I gonna use a water gun as a deadly weapon now :(

Oh well- thanks for the answer kind stranger!

Do you think a water gun would be an affective weapon in a frozen-world type of apocalypse

Like if you found a way to keep the water unfrozen in the gun and you could shoot people with it

Pew pew, your frozen idiot

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Shrimp genders

I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Me walking to the bathroom right after my feet got warm in bed because I have to poop

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Me, under my breath: I need a black king

My flamboyantly gay stepbrother: Honey same

Me, looking up from my solitaire game: ….

[intergalacticmuffinman]

I strive to be the Uncle Iroh in someone’s life

When I’ve done that I can stop

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Me: No I wouldn’t say I have daddy issues- sure my dad isn’t the best at communicating with the people he cares about but I don’t think that’s affected me to greatly

Also me seeing any form of media with a positive father figure in it:

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Happy birthday to everyone whose birthday was today or in the next four or five days

I know your birthday is usually overshadowed by Christmas but I see you :)

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Everyone must commit one small act of chaos every now and again or else their chaos gland will swell with to much energy and kill them

This is why smaller people are more chaotic

They have less space to accommodate their chaos gland and therefore must commit more chaos than the average person

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Merry Christmas to everyone who visited a hospital, or is in a hospital today

I know it can suck not being able to spend Christmas in your home

I hope your day was bright :)

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Merry Christmas everyone!

Remember, Santa had a brief career as a necromancer, so if you’ve been really really good you’ll get to talk to one dead person this Christmas :)

[intergalacticmuffinman]

I hope everyone’s Christmas pajamas are nice and cozy :)

And if you don’t celebrate Christmas

I hope your regular average day pajamas are also nice and cozy :)

[intergalacticmuffinman]

Do you think a water gun would be an affective weapon in a frozen-world type of apocalypse

Like if you found a way to keep the water unfrozen in the gun and you could shoot people with it

Pew pew, your frozen idiot

[intergalacticmuffinman]

I love to many fictional characters to much :(