kingovbats

[kingovbats]

Common things in DID that no one likes to talk about

- switches that feel like you’re turning into someone else rather than them taking control (non-possessive switching)

- being unable to recognize amnesia until something requires you to remember something you forgot

- staying in the front for weeks at a time

- being unable to communicate with alters internally (this is so common why does everyone act like this is weird?)

- feeling like you don’t have any problems because you feel disconnected from them

- constant denial

- rapid identity, label, and appearance changes

- comorbidities, particularly personality disorders, anxiety disorders, and the schizophrenia spectrum

- autism (there is science pointing towards autistic people being more susceptible to trauma)

- disliking your system

- wanting final fusion

[kingovbats]

the second chapter is out

be very mindful of tags

this is my biggest pride

RIMLAINE LOVERS

I've just published the 1st chapter (out of 3) of my rimlaine fic!

IT IS EXPLICIT and it's heavy angst that will have happy ending but if you check out the tags and want to give it a try, the link is below↓

If you read it and find some grammatical or spelling errors please let me know!

[kingovbats]

dear systems,

— its okay to have inconsistent amnesia barriers.

- its okay to not recall times when you were fronting.

- its okay to have full amnesia blocks sometimes, and emotional amnesia other times with no identifiable pattern.

- its okay to not have amnesia between switches sometimes.

— its okay to not have gatekeepers.

- its okay to not know if you do or do not have any gatekeepers.

- it is okay to wish you had a gatekeeper.

— its okay to have no control over switches.

— its okay to have no communication.

— its okay to feel upset that youre a system.

- its okay to feel frustrated that these things are out of your control.

- its okay to not be making any “improvements” in communication or functionality.

- its okay to be angry.

— its okay to be scared.

[kingovbats]

what needs to happen? probably Rimbaud resurrection so he can come out of the basement and start actively torturing himself by profusely apologizing and constantly envisioning the moment he tried to kill him.

would be even worse if Rimbaud ether didn't remember him OR didn't remember the betrayal

Literally where tf is Verlaine?? Like,, dude how many world ending events occur before you'll leave your freakin depression basement?? 😭😭

He didn't come out for Dead Apple. He didn't come out when Q was free and terrorizing people. Or when the majority of the world turned to vampires. He hasn't come out now that theres some crazy ass god thing slurpin everybody up like a juicebox 😭

[kingovbats]

I despise seeing folks posting things implicitly fakeclaiming other systems.

Especially for things we experience.

So, have some positivity.

Systems with only members in the single digits, we get you. I know it feels difficult to exist here when there's seemingly no one else like you.

Systems who hear no voices, we get you. That doesn't make you any less of a system, that doesn't make your sysfolk any less real.

Systems with high split tolerance or systems who don't split anymore, we get you. We don't think we've split in years. That, or our last one was the first in years.

Systems who mask nearly perfectly, we get you. Often that's exactly how a system is built to function. It doesn't mean it's any less difficult or real for you.

Systems who have no roles, we get you. I'm the only sysfolk in ours that has really claimed any role.

Systems who use the term "core," we get you. We only stopped for fear of being derided, but no one should police how you label yourself. If core feels right to you, then it feels right to you.

Systems who have confusing insys relationships, we get you. I'm in one, despite not having a headspace. It's hard to describe and I'm alright with that. It doesn't make mine or yours any less real.

Systems with sysfolk that fit stereotypes, we get you. I fit the "evil alter" stereotype when I'm not wearing my mask. I'm tired of folks claiming having one is villainizing systems. Sometimes it's simply how the world made us.

Traumagenic systems who don't know their trauma and/or don't care to know it, we get you. Ours is only vague feelings of what happened. Some of us don't care to know and some of us need to.

Systems who use "odd" language for themselves, we get you. Hell, we use sysfolk. We're certainly not in any place to judge.

Systems, keep trucking along. You're doing good. Sometimes doing good is thriving. Sometimes doing good is simply surviving. And hey, you're here. You're surviving.

[kingovbats]

Not PDID Culture Is, but I want to mention this just in case:

Integration is not the same as final fusion.

Integration = Lowering of dissociative barriers between alters (which makes communication and cooperation easier, decreases dissociation and (if you have it) amnesia, helps with grousing techniques and coping mechanisms and etc) to improve quality of life. This is needed to have functional multiplicity

Fusion = When two or more alters become one

I want to bring this up because there’s a lot of misinformation about this (in part because they were synonyms in the past) and I’ve seen this misinformation cause some real, tangible harm

(Not targeted at anyone; just wanted to mention it)

Oh okay! Thank you for this information! Will be keeping this in mind!

[kingovbats]

Suicidal orca

[kingovbats]

I've been scrolling through did TikTok lately and I noticed the strong pattern of people focusing mainly on alters and switching; spreading harmful misinformation that alters are separate people/full identities.

This kind of thinking is anti-recovery and just strengthens amnesia barriers, which makes it harder to heal (no matter if your goal is functional multiplicity or final fusion)

And I don't mean that y'all experiencing your existence as separate from others is invalid in any way.

It was written in "coping with trauma-related dissociation" by Suzette Boon and Kathy Steele that "your parts (alters) are different manifestation of the way in which your single personality is organized"

I think it is crucial for people to understand in order to improve their communication skills and overall life

you can download or view the entire book for yourself on z-library here

https://de.singlelogin.re/book/2797547/29d1b0/coping-with-traumarelated-dissociation-skills-training-for-patients-and-therapists.html

[kingovbats]

I hate being blurry or just not being able to easily tell who’s fronting. It’s like i have to play 20 questions with myself to see who I am, and even then I could be wrong. And that’s if I even can/want to take the time to sit there and detective my way into know who the fuck i am and what my identity is. It’s so much time and effort sometimes and there’s still a chance that I could be wrong about who’s fronting/who I am rn

-???

[kingovbats]

Dazai: you were in my dream last night

Chuuya: funny,cause you were in mine too

Dazai: i dreamed of us on a rollercoaster in an amusement park where you threw up

Dazai: what did chibi dream about?

Chuuya: who dreamed of them fvcking each other senseless

Chuuya: you were a squirrel

[kingovbats]

the more I think about it, the more I want Fyodor to succeed with ability cleansing.

I do however not want the series to end there. I want to see how they end up coping with the loss. For some, they identify with their abilities so it would be like losing an integral part of their identity; of their entire being.

-D

[kingovbats]

my poor guy😔 didnt even make it to middle aged😔

[kingovbats]

the first thing I thought about after reading 118

[kingovbats]

Idk

[kingovbats]

Fyodor: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game... Nikolai, nodding: Knife Monopoly. Fyodor: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

[kingovbats]

New chapter got me making Connections

[kingovbats]

what if Fyodor and atsushi are related lol wouldn't that be funny