kurs3dkid

[kurs3dkid]

4/21/25 theres some things that people don't talk about a lot when it comes to trauma, ptsd, cptsd, or just general aftermath affects. in general, i feel trauma is extremely poorly portrayed in the majority of social media, content, movies, books, etc. it's a gift to find something ACTUALLY relatable that isn't curling up on the floor, breathing rapidly and loudly, screaming, crying, etc. every time something triggers you. (note: not putting anyone else's trauma responses down, please take with a grain of salt. or a pound. whatever you'd like.) TRAUMA ISN'T ROMANTIZEABLE OR PRETTY! i mean, gosh, that's not all people experience. Tensing slightly, gnawing at your nails, tearing at the skin on your lips, fidgeting with your clothes when something heightens your anxiety. Silent panic attacks, because letting someone know HEIGHTENS your anxiety. Snapping at your friends or horribly heightened irritation, even yelling. it's UGLY, and it makes that person feel horrible, or as if they're just like their abuser/source of trauma, or like they're becoming this shell of the person they were.

It's not even just mental or emotional affects, PHYSICAL signs too. Muscle aches, bone aches, skin itching, SWEATING. Auditory processing issues or sensory processing issues like APD. Even acting more childish. Even losing weight, gaining weight, becoming physically weaker are all horrible things to experience but UNNOTICED. There's HUGE affects that are hard to even explain, just compare a normal person's brain to one that's experienced trauma.(of any shape and size. A man can be drowning at 10 meters or 50, but both are still drowning. Mental health is not a contest, nor something that's COMPARABLE. Stop acting like kids and putting other's down because theirs wasn't 'as bad'. Everyone reacts differently.) And not just that. What about the people that AREN'T diagnosed? Can't get diagnosed, but still have issues like these. What about people that still live with/around the source of their trauma? The people that act perfectly normal, and ARE able to be happy the next day at school or work, but still experience the affects because they compartmentalize? Stop bad mental health representation. We aren't aliens, we're humans. Present us RIGHT if you're even going to try. peace.

[kurs3dkid]

normalize feminine transmen, they're frickin' amazing. and no, they're NOT insecure women, they're MEN/BOYS. the reasons for their transition should not matter to you, ain't none of your business mate (genderneutral.)

[kurs3dkid]

this is so stupid. i get it if you like harry potter and already have merch before knowing this, but PLEASE do not bankroll JKR.

"I don't like JRK but I still love Harry Potter"

You have blood on your hands

Burn your fucking Harry Potter merch or be burned with it.

I'm fucking livid.

[kurs3dkid]

the world is an ocean of beauty, dreams, love. those who can't open their eyes think they're drowning gasping for air, clawing at nothing but water, water, and more water. and sometimes? the ocean consumes them. envelopes them whole. it becomes something.. ordinary. a nuisance, a daily occurance. another stupid bug in your path, another missed sunset, another homework assignment, couple loud kids on your street screaming as they play some stupid game with some stupid football. until all you can think is, 'this is no beauty, but noise, pain, and inexplicable suffering.' and by that point, you've already drowned.

[kurs3dkid]

[kurs3dkid]

they say not to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

but all that is

left of me

is ash

and its cold,

oh, its so cold.

[kurs3dkid]

a person born in a burning house thinks the world is burning. i was born with nothing but ash.

[kurs3dkid]

[kurs3dkid]

BURNING SPICE.. 😋😋

[kurs3dkid]

my take on wind archer cookie MODERN AU!! <3 he's such a DIVA.

[kurs3dkid]

yo??

[kurs3dkid]

HARVEY - ALEX G (UNFINISHED)

(honestly just a random shipost I had in my notes of very silly brother OCS! don't steal :3)

Harvey keeps on playing with his food.'

Emory went through his phone, distracting himself with 'hot' sunbathed instagram models wearing skimpy pieces of clothing barely classified as swimsuits. His eyes occasionally straying back to his brother, who sat infront of him, the dingy lighting of the diner making his cheeks appear hollower than they already were. Ciro and him in a crimson booth that termites had long eaten through, Ciro's fork fighting some silent battle to cut up some salad into as many bits as possible.The circles under Ciro's eyes seemed to get darker every time they woke up in another somber hotel. The boys clothes growing looser on him. It felt like his brother was turning into a wraith with every passing day of Dad's disapperance. Emory had seen his brothers ribs show when he got out of the shower earlier that morning, he'd had to stifle a grimace, hoping it was a trick of the light.

"Look, I know you want to get out of town but.." he had to break the silence somehow, sick of pretending to gawk at stupid instagram models and ignore his withering brother, "Ci, you need to go back to school, I have to go to wor-" "Don't call me Ci." The 13-year-old bug snapped."Ciro, we have a life to get back to-" He started again, doing everything but an eye roll as he corrected himself.

"Its not like dad cares about our life! Why should we? You're sixteen, Em We cant keep pretending this is normal!" Ciro's cracked lips turned to a scowl, his knuckles going white on his fork as he spoke through gritted teeth.Em went rigid at his brothers sudden exploding.

"Dad's coming back, you know how he is, and Im fine with missing some school-"

"You cant work in a motorcycle shop forever, Em." His brother snapped back at him, his tousled brown hair casting shadows on his face, but it didnt take good lighting to make out the tears pooling in his brothers eyes, his rage seeping through the firm tick of his jaw.

'He doesnt understand what big boys do.'

"Forget it. You dont get a say in this." He ran his hand through his hair, taking a deep breath in attempt to dampen the urge to haul his brother's weak ass out of there kicking and screaming But he knew mum would've wanted him to be responsible, like he hadn't been more responsible than dad's sorry ass.If only mum was actually here.Instead, he paid the tab, grabbed his brothers wrist and pulled him out of there, to the car.

"Let go of me!" His brother shouted.

"I dont wanna go home! I dont want to-" the boy stumbled over his feet.

"Shut up, Ci." Emory hissed through his teeth, catching his brother just in time. He held him for what seemed like ages, the color from his face draining.

When he realized his hands were shaking he forced himself to let go, avoiding his brothers eyes. With a deep breath, he unlocked the car door and tossed his brother in, getting in at the wheel of the stupid first-generation Ford Mustang. Stupid brother, stupid dad, stupid.. f--ck! Stupid everything.He thought as his grip on the wheel tightened.They drove in silence the rest of the night. Unbearable, damp, silence.

-------------------------------

he wakes up in the middle of the night. I run in and turn on the light.'

The only thing Emory couldnt get out of his head was feeling his brothers ribs protruding through his skin when he'd caught him in that stupid parking lot. 'Hey, Ci, Ci its me. Ciro.' Emory spoke, his voice shakier than he'd liked it to be as he turned on the light, sitting on the edge of his brothers bed.Cupping the side of his brothers face with gentleness he didnt know he was capable of. Part of it to comfort him, part of it to make sure that his brother was still.. real.Uneasiness flew in his stomach like a hoard of mosuqitos. Not butterflies, definetly not butterflies. Cicadas maybe.

[kurs3dkid]

untitled-poem

fear courses through my body

i fear i contain more anxiety than blood in my veins

my hearts pounding

my ears strain

but there's nothing, I have yet to remind myself.

I've simply forgotten that I left that place so long ago

yet I suspect I left so much of me there too

I want to love like the average joe

but I cannot get the words out of my mouth

for it risks tearing the stitches I have had for so long

'is this okay?'

'is it allowed?'

'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend'

'just to make sure, I only meant it as a suggestion..'