lucabendsdown

[lucabendsdown]

May 2023

My tears soon turned to dust, and my sadness turned to anger,

I could only see red by the time i could not surrender,

The horrors that made me stutter soon I made them shutter,

And the rage filled love, you dare say to me,

That it's not you it's me.

Made me never see those pink stained glasses.

Not now.

Not ever, not even in a blink.

[lucabendsdown]

Happy birthday.

Once I was clinging to dreams that I definitely couldn't reach.

Until I met you.

And you reached farther than I could even think.

Even with small words, you made me feel like I was there

Present in the moment not stuck in the past mourning

Day by day, you showed me a better way

Even when cuts bled in your shape.

You smile and poke at my brain

Unraveling me with just a simple turn of phrase.

As I cried and cried, clinging to a soul as similar as mine

Like I once did once with my dreams filled with lies and envy and with nothing more to carry.

[lucabendsdown]

Astigmatism

Lights shouldn't be as bright as they are

Burning my retinas making me go blind

Having me depend on only my field of mind.

Yet in the fog i see a light so soft and tender more lively then ever.

It and I we almost look alike

It guides me to shore

Waves crashing and letting me know

It's ok to let go and take it slow

Or that's how it's mainly supposed to go.

[lucabendsdown]

You could call this a poem blog.

Or whatever you want to call it, that is.

I go by Luca and other nicknames, such as Lukie or Andy, for some of my old friends.

As you can tell, I'm not very active here because I don't know how Tumblr works and my friend kind of made me try it out.

I don't plan on attracting people to my poems. If you happen to stumble onto it on your feed and it seems interesting, then good for you. It was never meant to be seen anyway.

My poems mainly revolve around rhymes and melancholic/lovesick topics since those are the only ones I can even write about.

Now, more about the person behind the screen.

As I said, I don't want to attract people with my poems, but I do love it when people truly enjoy my work, criticism included. And I wouldn't mind sharing creative ideas or metaphors with fellow writers/writer enthusiasts. [Meaning DMs are open for anyone interested]

[lucabendsdown]

Day to day

Drowning in the thoughts I once knew were mine,

Shouting for forgiveness but no one bothered, neither did I.

To my will that will never recover

And to my face that will never be bothered

My eyes sting from the words that were thrown

Like rocks they tumble.

Like bodies they trot.

And the rancid smell that will never stray from my path.

[lucabendsdown]

Feeling a void

Is it bad that i still miss them.

Even if it hurts to talk to them

To feel for them

To care for them

To love them

It feels like I'm drowning everytime they cross my mind.

And how they moved on as fast as one did.

Was I not what they wanted?

Was I not what they needed?

Why am I so easy to get over?

Am I that unremarkable?

[lucabendsdown]

Thought

I've lost so many faces in my life that when I look at a crowd of people, I still hope to see a once-familiar face, a face I could remember, only now not even knowing how they look or sound. A forever reminder of my bad habits and coping mechanisms.

[lucabendsdown]

First of all faggot, calling me a street whore when even if I was you couldn't afford me broke ass. Second if I'm a street whore then you are a pothole everyone regrets hitting. Gay bitch.

At least they will remember my tight ass then your lose cunt.

[lucabendsdown]

Myself

What I'd do just to feel someone's touch.

To be the light in their eyes,

What I'd do for some peace and quiet, and to not think so hard,

What I'd do just to let myself go and not suffer in the end,

What I'd do just to be myself and not be so dull and monotone as i am,

What I'd do to have friends who won't leave me when the opportunity arises,

What I'd do to not be myself.

[lucabendsdown]

I want to shatter your anus too.

(respectfully)

There's absolutely nothing respectful about that, you street whore.

[lucabendsdown]

Occasionally I drop a teacup to the floor just to see it shatter; I'm disappointed when it doesn't pick itself up and come back together.

(yes ho I wanna shatter your cup)

At this point, I think you want to shatter more than just my teacup.

[lucabendsdown]

He was mine always and he knows it. Be doesn't know he's yours because he never was and never will.

Want to shatter a tea cup, too? Fuck, are you monologuing about.

[lucabendsdown]

Talk about it. [[par. 2]]

I have since lost myself. I've gone bland with no flavor. I'm not my own person. I have so many missing pieces that I'm unrecognizable, yet to understand me to be able to even love me, you'd have to understand five other people for the way that I am. It hurts.

I don't want this. This lovesick feeling of giving and giving but never accepting or receiving.

[lucabendsdown]

Lovesick

At least take me apart and make me into Kintsugi art,

Then, have me refined like some cheap perfume smelling swine,

Unravel me and cure me of all these sick perjuries,

Then, have me on a pedestal for only eyes of the jury.

[lucabendsdown]

I'm not a homewrecker if the home was never yours.

He was always mine he just doesn't know it yet.

[lucabendsdown]

Navy

You're beautiful like cobwebs in the morning mist,

And those eyes, blue as a soldier's navy uniform.

But even if you look at me with boiling rage,

Those eyes have that same mesmerizing blue, but now only soiled with red.

[lucabendsdown]

Okay depressed as hell faggot. Just to let you know I meant MY boy Ethan, you ho men stealing nut buster.

And you're delusional for even thinking he's yours, you homewrecker.