lustlessgrace

[lustlessgrace]

shooting shots like the grown ups do

then go hang around the pool

tell all my friends when i grow up

that i want to be just like you

i’ll steal your face and color my hair

pierce my nose so i see you there

my mothers love is unjust

it comes like spring and stains like rust

i want to thank you for the things you do

even if they took a part of you

i hope you see what your love has built

as i learn of what blood was spilt

[lustlessgrace]

i know your heart even better his mind

lying is the first line of defence for his kind

his words stick like glue to strike like a knife

holding it against you to keep us in line

[lustlessgrace]

restrict it all so i feel fuller

it hurts to eat but i’m not bitter

live forever under someone else’s reign

not my voice that leads the way

somehow she’s even meaner

leading the day she won’t go away

often it feels like a loosing game

that i never even wanted to play

‘someone help me’ i want to scream

the only exit is a deadly reach, but still

i like to think sometimes i’m clean

no dirty hands all over me

only the ones i’ve prescreened

[lustlessgrace]

sitting alone in the waiting room

feeling lost, bracing for the news

my body’s collapsing

it’s more then a fracture

it hurts to breathe.

it hurts to move.

looking at it another way is like bandaging a bruise

so i’ll ask them to cut me open

and have it removed

but yet they still tell me

it may not be the best move

so do i sit there in silence

or let catastrophe reign

it might just have been easier

if i died that day

[lustlessgrace]

The Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1944–1947

[lustlessgrace]

tell me you're sorry even though it's not true

relentlessly helpless, shattered by you

turn me inside out and reshape me anew

you lost all conviction even if you say it's not true

so we’ll lie to the party speak only false truths

my words are weaker then the colours you drew

paint my skin like a dirty night sky

break me, reshape me. none of it’s new

[lustlessgrace]

euridyce held no fear

as she peered into orpheus’ eyes once more

a final time set in stone

all this disruption caused for nothing

forced to give up the love they’d been chasing

nothing but remorse for what had been done

swallowed whole by their hearts breaking

[lustlessgrace]

retaliation rises through deadly desperation

every indignant flaw you thought to cause surges forward

like fresh fruit from the sacred garden

you watch adam beg for a pardon

temptation to flee stopped by insecurity

“too young to know what resentment can do?”

so hope became hopeless, naked and new

yet I recognise it in you, tried and true

[lustlessgrace]

if i didn’t know war,

would i still die in battle?

the shadows cast their mark

herd us like cattle

but given the chance

to make it all better

id look hell in the eye

and scream for surrender

[lustlessgrace]

the product of a lyre

is something to dissect

could the sound alone

abdicate death?

or is it what’s behind the tone

that throws death from his throne?

dilute the walls of hell

with your melodious spell

one of three to make the feat

gods are cold but love nest deep

[lustlessgrace]

no casual voice of mercy

no more immunity

perverse my way to comfort

think back on what you told me

magic eight ball told your downfall

you could’ve been around more.

big estate, silver plate, people all au fait.

[lustlessgrace]

passion and praise as he rose from the grave

now a man holds a bible and i begin to pray

walk on water, turn that into wine

i sip on a beer; a new mans approval in mind

the story’s they told, all bathed in gold

the minds that he seizes, do as he pleases

i seeked your approval, for what you seemed frugal.

[lustlessgrace]

reanimate my mind like a stolen lullaby

my crack of solitude broken on the rise of altitude

lift my body through the sky

speak the truth, find the lie

your sweetened tongue, my body numb

incite your light

bleed my mind

my thoughts

my lines

raise your bets, this isn’t done

wake and see the mourning sun

[lustlessgrace]

when your name is hollow and graved

i’ll lay a daisy by your name

etch your marvel into stone

for all empty eyes to gaze

share your grace,

on dishonourable saturdays.

lie awake, give you space

let the clock tick away