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i learned this when i was in second grade to when a biologist inevitably corrects me please know its coming from a place of sincere stupidity: kangaroos are macropods which means they are ofc insane mammals that break all laws of reality. they have a cloaca (?!) and no placenta, just 30 days worth of yolk. what is basically a fetus is birthed and then this nasty ass little jelly bean has to climb into the pouch where it finishes like. being a fetus

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When I was a kid me and my friends liked to play this game we called “absurd cheatcodes” in which one of us would just start making up convoluted steps for a video game cheatcode on the spot. Like, one of us would say something like “how to unlock Luigi in Mario 64” and the other one would start going like “well first of all you have to beat the game exactly 1000 times in a row without killing a single goomba. Then you have to take your cartridge out, put on Mario Kart instead and beat it 1000 times without slipping on a single banana peel. And then you put in Mario 64 again and-“ Basically just improv when you think about it.

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thinking about that kakapo egg that got crushed but the conservation team patched it up and it survived

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Source 

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imagine you’re looking at rocks at the beach and you get jumped by an octopus

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Did I just employ the "Treat Them Like You are A Kindergarten Teacher Again" method with my insurance company today? I surely did. Did it work? Probably better than intended because I made an actual doctor feel contrite.

So, my insurance has been trying to not cover my SNRI because it is new on the market and no generic available yet, so pricey.

I apply for a refill and the request gets locked for review. Again. For the 3rd time.

This time I call and immediately ask to speak to the actual doctor making these clinical decisions. Very politely. Must be a slow day because they allow it.

ME: [Teacher voice] I'm calling in regards to the SNRI you have placed a lock on. Why was this decision made?

DOC: Well, there are dozens of other medications on the market in that tier, and far cheaper for you and [insurer]. We have sent a request to your doctor to consider alternatives.

ME: I am aware of that. So, can you do me a HUGE favor and look up my prescription history really quickly and tell me how many SSRIs and SNRIs were only filled once in 2022 for me, showing they were poorly tolerated?

DOC: It looks like eight.

ME: Great job! Now, can you please look at my genetic test for psychiatric drug tolerance and tell me how many medications are listed in the safe category?

DOC: Two.

ME: Awesome! Now, can you tell me what type that other drug is that I'm not taking?

DOC: Yeah, totally, it's an MAOI.

ME: That's correct, you're really knowledgeable! Should I be taking something as dangerous as an MAOI with my other medications, or even just in general?

DOC: It's contraindicated for sure.

ME: It is! So true! So, last question since you've been incredibly smart and helpful. Is it less expensive for [insurer] to pay out for the medication knowing they already get a huge manufacturer discount anyway, or is it more expensive for them to pay for me to need potentially long-term inpatient psychiatric care?

DOC: I'll clear the code, ma'am and flag it as medically necessary. I'm sorry about this.

ME: I appreciate you SO MUCH. You have a great day now.

WALGREENS PHARMACY TECH WITH 5 NOSE RINGS AND PURPLE HAIR STARING AT ME: ........... OKAY! It'll be ready in five minutes. You wanna come work here?

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“My mom painted this and said no one would like it. It’s her 2nd painting.”

“I painted somebody’s mom”

“Took a while and not perfect, but i painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom”

“I painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom who painted an egret”

“I painted the guy who painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the mom who painted a bird”

“When it sinks in that I stayed up most of the night to paint a meme for internet points…”

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From Nigerian-Indian photojournalist Yagazie Emezi’s TikTok

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Why do we as a society keep coming back to sex jokes?

Penis blast hilarious

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4 Tips for Autistic Writers

Autistic writers can face unique challenges when it comes to writing. NaNo Participant Auden Halligan has tips to handle some of those challenges!

So, you’ve just sat down at your desk, all ready to work on your next chapter, but you just can’t seem to start. Something is itching at your brain, and no matter how hard you think, you can’t figure it out. For autistic writers, that itch might be even harder to get around when compounded with autistic inertia, introspection issues, and sensory processing disorder — even if we were super excited to get started, sometimes the stumbling blocks are enough to keep us from going anywhere at all.

Here are four tips to identify your struggles and work around them rather than against them as an autistic writer!

Keep reading

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mel blanc fuckign yelling

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fandom will see a female character with the most interesting backstory and inner turmoil in the entire media and be like “…anyways. where’s the closest man we can pretend has the exact problems she has”