malforius-ponderings

[malforius-ponderings]

My initial reaction to this was that you are stupid and worse than me, but after some discussion with my (mortal) niece and her informing me of something called a “superiority complex” I have come to understand the errors of my ways. Perhaps I will try to have more meaningful interactions with local dwarves now. 🕯️🧌🍁🍜

Has this happened to you? 🤔🤔🤔

[malforius-ponderings]

S

Getting kungpowgirlpenised for pride month

[malforius-ponderings]

Travelers these days can be so entitled!

[malforius-ponderings]

It is actions like these that caused WWI (Wizard War 1). Young people like you will never understand 😔

[malforius-ponderings]

@wizard-council @the-better-wizard-council Do neither of you care about the state of wizards on the orbternet??? Get this taken down right now!

[malforius-ponderings]

Important to know these signs! Wizards please take note!!!

wizards in the workplace

[malforius-ponderings]

A few years ago kids would always call me “boomer” when I walked around town. It was always such a nice compliment, I’m over 4,000 and I looked 60 apparently! They never say it anymore. I’m not trying to spread rumors but I swear this is because Old Witch Ethel has been diluting her anti fine lines and wrinkles potions. Someone confirm????

[malforius-ponderings]

My (mortal) niece has brought to my attention that a picture of me pondering my orb has been going around the orbternet for months and I had no idea! I had seen the “meme” of my cat but of me?? Preposterous!

[malforius-ponderings]

Has this happened to you? 🤔🤔🤔

[malforius-ponderings]

The youth these days can be so disrespectful. While I was waiting in line for my ghastly brew I saw them casting magic spells in large groups in public. What happened to the sanctity of our wizard towers? Thats the whole point!!

[malforius-ponderings]

Why are you pondering

Good question! Pondering is just part of being a wizard 🤣🤣. But in all seriousness I am trying to figure out the secrets of the universe to make the world a better place. 😃

[malforius-ponderings]

After weeks locked in my tower I have finally found the cure for Wizard Pox! 😃 I have listed the formula below. Some of the ingredients may be hard to come by but you may ask your local alchemist for help.

Wizard Pox cure

- 1 hair of dwarf beard 🧌

- 1 tuft of cat fur 🐱

- 1 eye of newt 👁️

- 2 first words of a child 👶🏻

- puss from a wizard pox (any amount will do) 🧙🏻‍♂️

Stir in cauldron over magic flame for 20 minutes, should turn into a bright purple potion.

Let cool and serve to patient until symptoms subside

If you experience any of the following symptoms seek out these ingredients immediately: fever, chills, nausea/vomiting, diarrhea, small red bumps shaped like wizards, cough, chest tightness, post nasal drip

[malforius-ponderings]

This is NOT funny. You shouldn’t be trying to get elven moongrass anyway but if you do please make sure it’s from a reliable source, and fellow wizards I’m ashamed you would try something like this. 😔

[malforius-ponderings]

MISSING MAGIC DOG

Size: Tiny? Probably

Name: Snarfles

Residents of Flameburg, I have to announce that my magic dog has gone missing. As you know, magic dogs are usually 20 feet tall, making them nearly impossible to lose, but my magic dog, Snarfles, stole my shrinking powder and is now small. I don’t really know how small as I just got this shrinking powder and have yet to test it, but he’s somewhere between the size of a normal dog and an atom if I had to guess. He cannot be caught by human means. If you are a normal human do not approach him.

Reward: 500 Gold

If found please contact the wizard in the giant tower on the outskirts of town!

[malforius-ponderings]

This is literally my cat it’s literally a picture of him

[malforius-ponderings]

Anyone feel like magic orbs have been particularly hard to come by recently?? 🤔🤔

[malforius-ponderings]

🤣🤣 so true! Warriors are such meat heads am I right??