megvegas

[megvegas]

Work

When you realize no one cares, so why should you.

[megvegas]

Just another girl

All the recent media attention given to sexual harassment and the calling out of top figures not only in the Entertainment industry but in the Political field as well hit me all a bit unfazed.  You may wonder how I was not outraged, or disgusted by this behavior; how was I not shocked to learn this was happening? Well that is just it, I know its happening.  I know because as a member of the female population I have been sexually harassed most of my life.  

In fact, I am sexually harassed on a regular basis; usually at work; by a boss or manager.  It happens throughout my day; sometimes it’s not directed at me but a female member of the small office I cohabitate with Monday thru Friday.  This is not the first instance, nor I doubt it will be the last.

The company I was employed at prior to where I am now became so bad I stopped wearing dresses.  I was tired of hearing about my skirt; or on one occasion “how great my tits look in that top”.  I mostly have been employed at small privately-owned companies since graduating from college in 2004.  In the restaurant industry I expected this type of behavior, even sometimes threw it back. It’s a different environment then an office; the rules a bit less lax (even if they have policies in place no one enforces them).

Since I have been employed in the type of companies I have; there is no HR Department.  Who do I go to complain about the Owner of the company sexually harassing me? Who isn’t going to fire me if I complain? Who is going to care? There are no shareholders to answer to; no media to care about a Staff Accountant being hassled by her boss.

So, when there started to become backlash over Harvey Weinstein; I thought oh well he’s an Entertainment mogul what can they really do? ‘Oh he was removed from posts he held in blah….blah….Blah.’ This removal did not surprise me, he’s rich, he’ll be fine.  What really surprised me was how many people knew it was happening to the degree it was and just like me rolled on with it.  Who do you complain to? Who do you tell that will care?

The recent firing of Matt Lauer from the Today show surprised me.  What didn’t was my boss’s commentary on it. “Huh, I’m surprised that’s never happened to me.” He said with a doofus smile; laughing about how inappropriate he is with his staff.  In that second it hit me; no one cares because  I am but a lowly hourly employee who works in a right to work state and will have to go home tonight just to turn around and come back here all over again tomorrow.  

The recent spotlight being put on this behavior is great, the support women have been showing to each other because they understand is wonderful. Unfortunately, this spotlight will eventually burnout and I still need to be able to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly; so, just like yesterday, and the days before those I will grin and bear it.  

[megvegas]

A Moments Happiness

Serenaded by the insects hidden in the overgrown grass that lined the dark path, we walked on slowly until their song was drowned out by the splashing ocean.  My heart skipped as I leapt from atop the grassy knoll and sunk into the uneven sand.  Flinging my sandals from my feet, I paused and watched as they soared through the air, before grasping Jeff’s hand and dancing toward the water’s edge.

Letting go of my hand Jeff disappeared down the dimly lit beach.  I stood quietly staring out toward the horizon.  The dark shadows of night made it hard to see where the sky ended and the sea began.  The only clue came from the white foamy waves rolling into one another, like small waterfalls glowing in the moon.  The crashing warm water surrounded my ankles and licked at my toes as it pulled away from the shore.  With wet sand squishing beneath my feet, and sea air filling my lungs, a feeling of contentment ran through me.  But my moment of peace was short lived, as Jeff sprinted by pushing me into the salty water.

I rose from my sandy imprint, screaming threats of revenge as I chased him down the shore.  Tackling his tall figure, we wrestled on the damp earth, until I was pinned to the ground. His hands mercilessly tickling at my side.  Laughing and thrashing about I screamed out my surrender.  Rolling off me, we laid side by side gasping for breath as we stared at the night sky above.

Leaning up on his side, he ran his sandy fingers down my face before moving in to kiss me.  As he pulled away, I smiled, the warm feeling of his touch still fresh on my lips.  He grinned back at me before leaning in again.  Like a scene from an old romantic movie, we lay kissing in the moonlight as the tide rose and crashed about us.

When the waves began to splash in our face we pulled away from our embrace and began our walk down the beach in search of our shoes.  Helping me back up the hill, we stopped at the top and stared out at the ocean one last time.  Wrapping his arms around my waist, I wish that I could stretch time and live in this moment forever.

[megvegas]

These things are but a passing, none of it matters. 30 years from now no one will care what type of music you liked. No one will care what you liked to read, did for a profession, or even ( which I consider highly important)what type of tissue you wiped your ass with.  No one will remember you, we are not all infinite. We are not all special beyond our own minds; and the parents who cultivated such thoughts. We are simply existing. 

[megvegas]

Listen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUlX8ltm_JU 

[megvegas]

Exorcism

https://YouTube/watch?v=sqOSn1QQs6A

[megvegas]

I feel broken and alone.

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I spent the weekend with my 14 year old niece. Today we watched all 4 Hunger Games movies. Friday we spent most of our day at Busch Gardens, I think we won this weekend. Tmrw I'll make pancakes. Winning

[megvegas]

Currently obsessed with their newest album.  

[megvegas]

My A Ottypupilupogus (at Saint Petersburg, Florida)

[megvegas]

Alone in the dark.

I followed you in here, trying to help, be the friend you needed in this horrible time.  But here I am in the dark, alone, and wondering why I bothered following you in here in the first place.  I know it’s a terrible thing that’s happened.  I know I cannot possibly understand how you are feeling; grieving, piecing things back together.

But here I am, alone. I thought you were my people. Once a week texts that we’ll get together soon, or that you miss me, hurt.  Cause they’re empty and meaningless.  I am here, alone without you. I am sorry I don’t understand, but neither do you.  

I think this is where I’ll leave you now.  When you come looking for me again, I am sure I’ll be around.  But just like you I’ll be different.  A shell of the friend you used to know.  It was fun for last 5 or so years, I’ll cherish them along with the photos hanging in my home.  Thank you for the friendship you gave me, but I can’t keep holding on. I can’t keep standing here alone in the dark.

[megvegas]

Rainbows

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Went on a stay cation to Clearwater beach

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Things better left unsaid

I You Me What have we done to each other Was it worth it Were we?

[megvegas]

Life lessons

Remember it's ok to get it wrong. Life is the journey/adventure you make it. Nothing really is certain, except death & taxes (unfortunately this is not a joke) Stop! Taking everything in your life so seriously. Life is meant to be lived outside the lines, so grab a crayon and lets get cracking.

[megvegas]

Pup's nose peeking out

[megvegas]

Grandma on the Point visiting grandpa