midnight-malfunction

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HOW I DIDN'T SEE THAT BEFORE WTH

The way Mao Mao is yearning more quietly for Jinshi I barely noticed it in the anime it's so obvious now that's she rejects her feelings because of her position. She is a curious cat, experiencing what her sisters warned her not to try, but she loves testing poisons on herself.

There is simply something about the way she brushes his cheek, she way she silently looks at him, the way they just click as partners and trust each other whenever they're working on a case. How she was almost unconscious and bleeding in his arms, but still looking at him as if he was the most precious flower in the world. The most obvious thing to me is how she never rejects his hugs and any form of kinship with him. We all know Mao Mao can reject people (La clan) if she wants to. She feels safe with him, she feels comfortable enough to throw a fit to taste poison, to get a little bit too excited for ingredients (climbing on his desk) and to dance around him.

Long short story she is a simp just like anybody else in the palace. But she simps with dignity and tries to know him a little better.

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O MY GOD I LOVE THEM SM 🥹

This is my absolute favorite Jinmao chibi illustration. The chaos. The deadpan expression on their faces. Maomao committing an act of violence to Jinshi and he's just like. "Heck yea do it". I can imagine the silence over the sound of the tires rolling. The wind blowing through his hair. The follow up illustration Natsu Hyuga drew of him falling off a cliff cuz. why not. Pure art.

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Goddamnit Neil, it's Nuwanda!

charlie dalton who gets so high he thinks his heart is gonna stop in his sleep so he gets the other dead poets to PROMISE him he'll wake up in the morning

he also gets mega insecure when he's drunk and it shows a lot more

when he's high he's slurring all over his words and giggling at absolutely everything. takes so long to talk he forgets what he was initially going to say. somehow develops a southern accent

doesn't think the other dead poets are telling the truth about the accent thing when he's sober. thinks it's all one big scheme against him

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now imagine Dick and Jason doing it to Damian. He would never forgive and forget

The Batfam being insufferable to each others

Dick, Jason, and Tim are in the living room, scrolling on their phones.

Tim: secretly stalking Kon’s Instagram

Dick: glances over and notices, then looks at Jason

Jason: nods, grabs Tim and tackles him to the ground

Tim: “OW ! WHAT THE HELL ! STOP !”

Dick: grabs Tim’s phone and starts liking all of Kon’s posts

Tim: “Dude, stop ! I’m seeing him tomorrow at the Tower, it’s gonna be so awkward !”

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omg so true. This or getting scared it'll suck and someone will read it.

me: i’m gonna write

also me: actually i’m going to spend the next 40 minutes lying on the floor while my brain plays a movie trailer for a novel that doesn’t exist and that i will never write. but it’s a really good trailer

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my favourite scene in all attack on titan is unironically that time Hange bursts into the basement where Levi has been torturing that military police guy they abducted and he's like WHAT DO YOU FREAKS EVEN WANT YOU'RE NOT EVEN ASKING QUESTIONS and Levi's like ah yeah lol my bad so where's Eren

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O MY GOD, THIS REMINDS ME of when I had to write down all the characters and who was with who on the board when I was breaking down the plot to my friend bc so much drama 😭😭

nelly: give me the reasons why you love edgar linton

catherine: well uhhhh he's hot young rich and loves me

nelly: hm. bad. what about heathcliff

catherine:

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to die, every time I speak it goes very very wrong

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That was one of the best things about them that i've read

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 7

Dick: oh yeah i see you guys, hold on coming in hot-

*grunt*

Dick: hey, who are we waiting for?

Damian: Hood is working on the other side of Gotham tonight, but we're still supposed to wait for father while he talks to Catwoman

Dick: *a groan* god, he always takes forever when he's talking to her, and i'm already bored!

Tim: yeah we've been waiting for twenty minutes.

Jasons, whispering: sucks to suck for you guys- oh SHIT-

*distant gunshots*

Dick, casual: did you just give away your position to insult us Jay?

Jason, strained: *gunshot* NO,

*more gunshots, a yelp*

*silence*

Dick: anyway i'm still bored.

Tim: wanna play a game me and Damian made up?

Dick: you two made up a game?

Tim: yeah after Damian messed up and accidentally revealed he was fun on the main line.

Damian: i don't know what you're talking about, i've never had fun in my life.

Tim: -we're calling it 'league days: yay or nay?'

Dick, amused: ok, what are the rules.

Tim: ok, so, the aim of the game is to find out stuff from Damian's league days, because he got up to a lot of insane shit over there. he wrote down any interesting experiences he could remember onto a bunch of cards and then got Jason to digitalize them into a randomizer,

Tim: and then we got Jason to come up with a bunch of fake experiences and mix them in with the real ones. Damian doesn't know what the fake ones are so he has no way to come up with stories beforehand. the rules are Damian has to use the app Jason made to shuffle a random card, read it out loud to us, and then we have to guess if it's real or fake. we can ask him questions about what the card says and he has to answer, and then we have to figure out if he's bullshitting or not.

Tim: Jason isn't allowed to play because obviously he was there for like, 90% of the truths.

Jason: but i am allowed to listen and laugh! fuck you guys by the way, i almost died and nobody checked up on me.

Damian: sucks to suck, Todd. are you playing, Grayson?

Dick, giggling: holy shit, yes, i'm in. read a card.

Damian: ok, hold on.

*a beat*

Damian: oh- *a strangled sigh*

Tim: you have to read it out loud!

Damian: i am!

Damian: 'when i was a child, Todd introduced me to pokemon games, and then convinced me that pokemon were real by painting a snail and telling me it was a very small magcargo. years later, this lie was then used to convince me that i should move to Gotham.'

Jason: *bursts out wheezing* OH MY GOD-

*continuous cackles*

Damian: we may have to mute him.

*more distant laughter*

Tim: please god, let this be true.

Dick, smothering giggles: and- oh my god- and we get to ask questions?

Damian, resigned: ask away.

Tim: so- hmm.

Dick: *wheeze*

Tim: the reason you came to Gotham...?

Dick, wetly: yeah that's- that's what i think we need clarification on. Jason... Jason told you pokemon were real, and then...?

Damian: so i was around five years old, and had never played a video game before, and Todd came back from a mission with one of those handheld consoles and an old pokemon game loaded in.

Tim: what, and he told you it was real?

Damian: he told me it was based on reality and that it was just very rare to see pokemon in real life, especially in the area that the compound was in. to be fair i'd never left, so i had no way to confirm that or not.

Dick: still though, painting a snail got you to believe it?

Damian: it was- i-

*a sigh*

Damian: it was a fairly competent art project.

Jason: *starts laughing again*

Tim: see this is a hard one, because i don't know if he's laughing because of how proud he is that he did it, or because of how funny he finds his own lie. he makes shit up all the time.

Dick: this is genuinely a tough game, what the fuck. ok. how did this correlate with you coming to Gotham? i thought Talia sent you?

Damian: my mother gave me the option of going to Gotham to train with Batman, or to go into hiding with her and help during the league uprisings. i was unsure at the time because i had never met father before and didn't know what it would entail, but Todd obviously knew i would be safer coming to Gotham with him when he returned, so he took it upon himself to convince me to choose Batman.

Jason: *high pitched weeping*

Tim: see- SEE DAMIAN'S SMILING, i feel like he wouldn't find it funny if it was true, he'd just be angry that he'd ever fallen for it.

Damian: not necessarily. Todd has a very infectious laugh, i could just find his odd squeaking entertaining. you cannot base your answer on that.

Dick: so did you come to Gotham because he told you that there would be pokemon to see or something?

Damian: he told me that team rocket was active in Gotham, and that they were abusing pokemon. i have a fondness for animals, so obviously this angered me and i wanted to intercept.

Tim: it- *wheeze* it angered you-,

Jason: *silent gasps of laughter*

Dick: and what happened when- like, how did you find out he'd lied to you?

Damian: i figured it out on the boat to Gotham, about a day's journey away, and i was so infuriated that i pushed his motorcycle off the boat and sunk it. we were actually- it made us late, we were a day later than expected coming into Gotham because i sunk our ride from the boat to the city and we had to take public transport.

Dick: see but thats- like you told me before that the journey from the compound took two weeks, i can't imagine you being outside the compound for two whole weeks and not clocking that pokemon didn't exist in the real world.

Damian: i was busy with other things

Tim: bullshit, you literally said it was the reason you went!

*ping*

Bruce: apologies for the delay, i am three minutes out from your location. does anybody have any info on Red Hood? i've received reports that he may have been dosed with laughing gas. does he need backup?

Tim: he's fine, he's just an ass.

Jason, still struggling to breathe: ok- ok B's gonna ruin it now so i'm calling it. you have to choose, yay or nay?

Dick: THIS IS SO HARD!

Bruce: what's going on?

Tim: *groaning* god i so want it to be true... but i just don't buy the two week thing. i think you would have figured it out sooner.

Dick: i'm with Tim. i gotta go with nay. it's a lie.

Jason: *laughs slightly* *high pitched* alright, Damian. yay or nay, did this happen?

*silence*

Damian: *deep sigh* as much as i really wish it hadn't, this one was true. i did indeed, for a solid half a decade, believe that pokemon were real.

Dick: WHA-

Tim: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS-?!

Jason: *bursts out laughing again* *cheering*

Damian: i should have never agreed to play this game again.

Bruce: what on earth did i just come in on...?

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This got me cackling

Bruce should have a pavlovian trauma response to anything to do with Jason and the Joker and the other kids should 100% use it to their advantage.

Tim: *working in the batcave*

Bruce, walking in: Tim, you’re still here? you haven’t slept in four days, you need to take a break. get off the batcomputer before i lock you out of the system.

Tim:

Tim, blurting out of panic: -JASON’S GONE AFTER THE JOKER AGAIN!

Bruce, jolting up like a skittish deer: JASON NO-

Bruce: *jumps in the batmobile and speeds out the cave*

Tim:

Tim:

Jason, working on his motorcycle next to the now empty batmobile space: he literally said good morning to me like ten minutes ago. what the fuck is wrong with him that’s the third time this week.

Alternatively,

*Jason, walking past Bruce and Damian to leave the manor*

Bruce, chewing Damian out: -and this is the FOURTH TIME you’ve been suspended for fighting, if you can’t control yourself we’ll have to look at restricting your access to Robin-!

Damian: *gives Jason a pleading look over Bruce’s shoulder*

Jason:

Jason: *rolls his eyes*

Jason, as he leaves the front door: OH BOY, TODAY SURE IS A GOOD DAY TO TRY AND KILL THE JOKER!

Jason: *slams door shut and hides behind a plant*

Bruce, muffled from inside: JASON NO-

*crashes, Bruce barrels out of the house and rushes to get in his car and drive off*

Damian, watching him go from the doorway: you have my gratitude, Todd.

Jason, stepping out from behind the plant: anytime, kid.

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Jason: Stop calling me baby. I am twenty years old. I have dragged murderers from the back of my motorcycle. My scarred hands smell like gunpowder. I hate you and I will never be soft again.

Bruce: Yes, of course, I understand.

Bruce, deadpan introducing Jason to literally anyone: This is my baby boy. My sweet little darling. My silly goose. Bambini. Small one. Duckling. Spider monkey. Pumpkin. Itty bitty.

Jason, deadpan, every time: Yes, hi, that's me, I'm itty bitty.

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yeah I can totally imagine Alfred signing all the school stuff for any of Bruce kids tbh when Bruce is fighting his lack of sleep or villians

Dick Grayson (age 12, waking up Bruce who’s asleep on the couch): hey, Bruce. I need you to sign this permission slip for a school field trip.

Bruce Wayne (hasn’t slept for 5 days and still thinks he’s in the office): what… what is this? One day at the zoo for $45 that’s a terrible deal! Tell them to negotiate… something… better… *falls asleep*

Dick: …um

Alfred: *taking the paper from him* I’ve been able to forge his signature for ten years now. I techincally sign my own paychecks.

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yeah and he never got to listen how proud they were and how happy for him they were

i’m rewatching dps rn and i’m at the part where neil’s father drags him away after the play, and (i’ve got the subtitles on) someone says “we love you” to neil, and im pretty sure it’s todd. but either way that’s the last thing neil heard from the poets, from todd. they love him. he was loved. i’m bawling.

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wait wdym, Tim is one year older than me?

modern batfam is so fcking funny to me wdym dick grayson (27) would be born on 1998, cass (25) 2000s, and then jason todd (21) is fcking 2004 (my age??)... and tim drake (17) is 2008?????

DAMIAN WAYNE (15) IS 2010. THAT'S SO WEIRD

this is like rough estimations btw its just so weird

like wdym modern bruce wayne is the same year my mother was born.

they're all unhinged fcking gen z mfers holy fuck

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*in the Batcave in silence*

Tim, randomly: Hey, so, we all know that Bruce has potential Batmen after he dies on a list, right?

Dick, upside down: Yeah.

Jason, reading with one hand and lifting with another: We're all aware.

Tim: Where do we think I'm ranked?

Dick: The very bottom of the list. Gun Batman and the one where he manipulated the Titans into being alright with torture shows that you cannot handle that.

Tim: Fair enough.

Also Tim: I checked it, and you know that Jason is on the top of that list?

Jason, dropping the weight: I'm what- Ow, fuck!

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staying up until 1am with your friends is like. wow we’re so fucking cool we’re so fucking badass we should go on a road trip or become famous or maybe hang out here forever because i dont wanna be anywhere that isnt with you guys im so full of love and joy and a live fast die young mentality. and staying up until 1am by yourself is like. for the third time this year i am genuinely contemplating suicide. good thing i dont have the executive function to clean up my room

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well he obv shouldn't do it but ppl should stop attacking him and calling him pedo just bc of this bc this is annoying and not true

thinking about s2 ep2 autopsy, yes that episode.. bc everyone (esp on tt) keeps boiling it down to “chase kissed a child” like he woke up and chose to for fun. be serious.

the whole episode is about control. andie is nine, terminal, way too aware of what is coming, and she is trying to claw back any agency she can get. she asks for a first kiss bc she thinks she might not live long enough to have one. it is framed as a human ask from a kid who had to grow up fast, not a flirt. chase hesitates, he is uncomfortable, and what actually happens is a brief, not-sexual peck meant to steady a terrified child and honour her dying wish. the scene obviously wants you to sit in the discomfort and argue with yourself about boundaries, consent, and that morally grey area where nothing feels like the right choice.

yet ppl keep rewriting it like he initiated it or wanted to. he did not. it’s clear in the scene he didn’t want to. it is not played for titillation. the episode gives you the counterpoints in real time. then there’s chase’s own constantly reused line in every joke I see, delivered after explaining what happened: “It wasn’t sick. It was one kiss, for a dying girl.” hearing that, cameron literally covers her mouth in shock and foreman turns away holding his head in disgust, which is the show acknowledging how uncomfortable and unethical it is.

and yet somehow this one scene has become the go-to “reason” people throw out when they say they hate chase’s character. “Chase is a pedo” gets tossed around like it is a factual descriptor of his character instead of a bad faith oversimplification of a complex moment.

You don’t have to like what he did. in real life a doctor should obviously never, and should redirect a request like that to a parent or literally anyone whose job is emotional support. the show is a medical drama, not a handbook.. but calling chase a “pedo” over that scene is WILD to me. idk how we went from a messy ethical moment to full character assassination, tbh the narrative bends over backwards to show his reluctance, her tiny slice of agency, and that the moment is about comfort, not desire.

it is actually a really good episode, but no one can ever talk about it outside of “ew chase is a pedo” or “remember when chase kissed a kid lol.” and that is a shame, bc it has one of the most interesting moral knots the show ever threw at the team, and it gets completely lost under bad faith takes.

As for the jokes, I get them a lot in my comments over on tt and I’ve gone along with them etc and they were slightly funny to begin with, but it got old, fast.