mimikall

[mimikall]

Not a question, but I like your words

Thank you ^-^

I don't write often- but when I do I try to pour out all I have into it

[mimikall]

I love a boy a man of faith, oceans apart, who kneels to a God I've questioned in the dark.

He is straight and I am... a boy in the making the knowledge of what I wasn't like a ghost pressing against my ribs

If I had stayed soft, if I had let the world call me she, perhaps his eyes would have lingered, perhaps his words would have reached for mine.

But I carved myself out of ache, I chose the mirror's truth over a maybe. And some nights, that truth feel like a locked door to a room where he might have loved me

I am not ashamed but I am mourning a version of myself I never wanted to be because she could have been his.

[mimikall]

I let go, and I was fine,

Breathed in air that once was mine.

But now they whisper, now they plead,

"Be fine, move on, just let it be."

How can I forget the weight,

The quiet hurt, the silent fate?

The wounds they never saw you leave,

The nights I stayed awake to grieve.

To them, you shine, a gilded past,

A name they speak, a love that lasts.

But I have seen the cracks, the lies,

The hands that held, then brutalized.

I was fine—I am, I swear,

Yet they insist, yet they compare.

Not knowing that to truly heal,

You must be seen, and wounds made real.

[mimikall]

"I care not for the words they’ve said, But for the soil where their whispers spread. What made their tongues feel safe, unbound, To spit their venom while you stood around?"

[mimikall]

A wounded beast, by pain defined, Sees cruelty in all humankind.

[mimikall]

"The mold created by a rotten heart will only spread to those who are close to it."

[mimikall]

I never thought I’d see your true face, The one that whispered “beautiful” in my darkest place, Now twists with disdain, sharp words to disgrace— How quickly love turns to contempt’s embrace.

The voice that once held me, tender and kind, Now sneers when my name crosses your mind. You boast of disgust where pride once shined, A fleeting devotion, cruelly unaligned.

Yet it’s funny, isn’t it, this game you play? Calling me “ugly” to keep me away. Mocking my need for love’s gentle sway, As if your scorn could strip me of my day.

But tell me, why do you labor so? To make others hate what they’ll never know? To fuel your anger, let bitterness grow— What is it you fear that you dare not show?

For your barbs are shallow, your venom weak, A reflection of wounds you dare not speak. And though your words may bite and streak, I see now, it’s your own heart you critique.

[mimikall]

“Do you know, darling? When you became involved with others you quite possibly stepped down a level or two, but If you become involved with me, you will be throwing yourself into the abyss.”

[mimikall]

I thought I was wrong for doubting the truth, Tried to silence the whispers, bury the proof. But the day you blushed, your mask betrayed, A love from the past, on full display.

I laughed with the others, a hollow sound, While my heart sank low, a ship run aground. Your breathless awe, your frantic glow, A warmth I’d longed for but didn’t know.

The stories you shared, the friend you kissed, Each quiet fracture added to the list. Not sins, not crimes, just cracks in the frame, Yet every one bore my heart’s name.

You’re not a villain, but oh, you’re unkind, A thief of the love I gave, blind. I hate that I trusted, I hate that it’s true, But most of all, I hate loving you.

For your charm wins hearts, your story they buy, While I’m just the placeholder left asking why.

[mimikall]

Oh, how cruel is surviving.

Dreams ground to dust beneath practicality, paint-stained fingers wrapped in sterile gloves.

I walk into the lab, white coat heavy with the weight of what isn’t mine,

and feel another piece of myself sink into the void.

The pieces meant to wield a brush, to shape light and shadow into meaning, slip further away.

The pieces meant to pour words into a journal scream, their voices drowned beneath the hum of machinery.

Even the pieces that fight, that curse and stumble over untamed strings, are quiet now.

This isn’t who I am—but it is what the world demands.

And so I stay, watching myself dissolve.

[mimikall]

Not a day goes by without reminding me that I am just not meant for this world

[mimikall]

[mimikall]

“they were two reasons I was scared to let people in; the damage they could do, and the damage they could find.”

Chris Mc Geown

[mimikall]

"Your hand is cold, mine burns like fire. How blind you are, Nastenka!"

-Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights

[mimikall]

If you're an affectionate person FOR THE LOVE OF GOD *PLEASE* don't get into a relationship with an avoidant, the relationship will hurt but the breakup will hurt even more.

Sincerely, a clingy person who took days to heal (this event was good artistic inspiration though eheheh)

[mimikall]

“My biggest regrets in life are being too damn nice, apologizing when I didn’t do anything wrong, and making unworthy people a priority.”

— Unknown

[mimikall]

Oh, how I long to be the muse, Not the poet, with words to choose. To be the one admired and soft, instead of yearning for what I haven't got.