overlysarcasticanddesperate

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

My pet peeve is when people are like ‘LMAOOO I’m DecEaSeD’

Like... no you’re not. You’re very much alive.

I can hear your heart beating. I can feel your blood running through your veins... it beckons me. If you want so badly to be deceased, then your wishes may come true.

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

On a real tho...

U know a festival’s good when the base is so strong it disrupts ur bowel movement

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Just rewatched Black Panther for the bajillionth time and, honestly? ... it’s a masterpiece

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Proof that that queen Victoria (skinny legend) can’t die and is disguised as Theresa May...

~old

~grey

~vic[TORI]a

~loves England

~not everyone loves her

~resilient (refuses to step down)

~just generally a bit miserable

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Ill never be okay now that I know the original iron man suit had metal nipples built into it.

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Okay, so Spotify is great and all...

... but if I want to listen to one artists’ music from all of their albums, then I want to hear all of their original songs by just them, not the commentary tracks, or the remixes, or just the same three songs on repeat.

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Going to the toilet in a public bathroom with a stall door that doesn’t lock properly is the same anxiety/vulnerability level of going out in pubic in a skirt but no underwear on

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Pulling a shoelace out of your shoe when you’ve put your foot in is like the pg equivalent of pulling a hair out of your buttcrack...

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Oh look, I’m crying...

So I was explaining to my parents (who don’t really know much about Marvel) some of the theories about how the avengers are going to deal with half the universe being snippety snapped out of existence, and I said that the main theory is that they’re gonna to get the time stone, reverse time and, subsequently, the effect of the snap. I also explained that some people say that as a result of this, Tony will be erased from existence.

My mum legit looked me dead in the eye as if it was completely obvious and said;

“But that’s impossible, Iron Man’s done so much for their world that nothing would be the same without his impact.”

And she’s right; I’ve mulled over this for so long and my uneducated (in terms of fan theories and superheroes) mother literally nailed it in one sentence.

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

“It be like that sometimes”

I whisper, gently flossing as I slowly yeet myself into a ball pit full of my tears

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Do you reckon there’s football fandoms?

Like, there’ll be people stanning a certain football club and making edits of them scoring goal?

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Honestly, she looked like she was about to fall but she didn’t, so I had to speed a few things up...

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Gordon Ramsay cannot locate the sheep flavoured syrup

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

If I had a nickel for every time I felt like eating fruit I’d have about two nickels because my diet is grossly based on ice cream and pure sugar,

My doctor said I have about two months to live if I carry on like this lol

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Is it just me that’s really confused about the ‘epic handshake’ meme? Like, I get the premise, but it’s not even that funny or creative. It doesn’t even have a clear use. I’m just very disappointed by the meme community for coming up with such a useless, uninspired meme :/ 😏

-meme connoisseur :)

[overlysarcasticanddesperate]

Sometimes I wish I could replace my lungs, kidney, heart and other organs that are ‘necessary’ to survive with my stomach.

I’m fine, thanks for asking :)