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I just wanna eat without anyone being disgusted that i’m eating
#calorie deficit#anorexik#depressing shit#tw depressing stuff#tw self sabotage#mentally fucked#tw self destruction#tw self destructive behavior#m3alsp0#su1c1d3
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I feel disgusting
#tw self destructive behavior#calorie deficit#anorexik#depressing shit#m3alsp0#tw self sabotage#mentally fucked#su1c1d3#tw self destruction#tw depressing stuff
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Anyone knows how i can lose 20 kg in 3 months ?
#calorie deficit#anorexik#depressing shit#m3alsp0#tw self sabotage#mentally fucked#tw self destruction#tw ana related#tw ana diary#ana restriction#low cal ana#ana diet#weight loss diet
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Sometimes i wish i could relapse
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I usually come off as aggressive to my friends and people in general, like i have a strong personality, when really that could not be further from the truth.
I am so deathly afraid of people that i felt like i had to appear strong to them, so that they would leave me alone.
Sadly, that only made them hate me more, so, now I'll try to opt for a doormat/pacifist approach. It will take a while for them to change their mind about me, but if i lie well enough and put in the work, then maybe I'll finally get what i want and they won't hate me as much anymore.
God I'm so scared
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I just realized, I'm not a likable person at all.
#mentally fucked#anorexik#low calorie#tw ana diary#tw self sabotage#calorie deficit#tw self destructive behavior#low cal restriction#tw self destruction#kinda depressing#tw depressing stuff#depressing shit#tw depressing thoughts#sorry for being depressing#depressiv
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I want to be loved but the idea of someone actually loving me disgusts me.
How could someone love me if I can’t even love myself?
Am I even worthy of wasting someone’s love?
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Realizing that since I can’t physically self harm, I’ve started triggering myself as a form of mental self harm. (I’d rather cut myself to shreds tbh)
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Sometimes I feel the only reason I want to lose weight is that people will take finally serious my feelings when they see my sick body.
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after all who's gonna love the girl with scars?
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It’s when i need to talk to someone, that I realize I truly have no one.
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