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Wow, remember when I used to tumble?!??

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Handmade Italian Greyhound Clothing by SOIMA

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2017

Howdy! Every year I like to write a reflection on the year that has passed. I like to journal, and also document here, so buckle up. 

Right now I am not in a great head space. I’m feeling anxious, annoyed, frustrated and trapped. I’m not sure how this will turn out. I wish I could find my headphones.

Let’s see. Last January, I was living in Danbury. I worked at Starbucks and the library. This was definitely a transitional year. I worked lots of meaningless jobs, lots of hours to save lots of money. Living in Danbury felt aimless. I was close to people I loved, yet didn’t have the time to spend with them. I loved the little house. I had a perfect bedroom and I loved being on my own, but it felt like a year lacking direction. My goal was to save enough to move to Australia. I achieved that goal, but the rest of my time felt sort of aimless.

Okay, I need to pull my head out of the oven because this is getting too negative. In April I started working with a Children’s Theatre company in CT. It was nice to be paid to do theatre again. I was proud of that, but the lady I worked for was a real loon, and overall I was so happy when it was over.

In September, my lease was over, and I decided instead of moving to Australia straight away, I would go on tour with a production of The Outsiders. Looking back, that was probably the best decision I could have made, and it was a real highlight. It was so nice to be acting again. I hated road managing, but I loved it. It was insane, stressful, demanding, overwhelming, but at the end of the day it gave me so much more purpose and meaning than working at Red Lobster.

2017 wasn’t a big year for travel. I’m excited to travel more in 2018. 

2017 was a year of Danny. We went on our first date on Groundhogs Day, and he’s changed my life. We’ve had so many good times, so many challenging times. He’s loyal, supportive, wonderful. It wouldn’t have been the same without him. Lately, I’ve been feeling so low, and taking it out on him which I know isn’t fair. He is patient, he is accepting, and he makes me feel comfortable and loved.

When I think of 2017 I will think of Valentines Day, the excitement of dating someone new. The drudgery of working jobs I didn’t care for. Starbucks, the library, red lobster, being bored. Having a warm little house. Rhys helping shovel my car out. Sledding down the hill with doggo, how could that have already been nearly a year ago? Napping between jobs. Pinching every penny. Locking my keys in Sunshine. Sunshine dying, buying a new car. Jeannie. Driving with Danny, and the Mets, and dancing, and wiffleball. A snow day with Magary, making pie and doing tarot. Scranton. Being comfy in the house. Being bored. Painting again. Writing. Not auditioning. Working with Leslie, touching base with Mikey again. The rabbit that ran into the school. Laughing about how terrible she was. The costumes, the allergy attacks. My birthday, my perfect birthday with Tarrywile and the vulture and space jam. My caffeine addiction. O’Briens. Having faith in myself. Wanting more. Feeling lost and without direction. Bubble baths to warm me because it was so damn cold. The swamp monster that lived in the toilet. Brunch with Danny’s family, and crying. The 30th anniversary party I could give to the people I love. The Outsiders. Feeling wise, being a leader. Being part of something bigger than myself. Vitaly eating everyone’s food. Salmon jerky. Sean and his get rich quick scheme. Getting iced. Getting mad at Goggin, and the way he always had my back. The afternoon when I couldn’t stop crying. Roach motel in NJ. Boxes of wine with Jenn. The comfy La Quinta. Staying in bed. The Red Roof with Danny and Alejandro and Colleen and Myles. Reconnecting. Laughing. Quiplash. Mafia.The fights. The frustrations. Niagara Falls at night. Steve getting sick, getting the call after we left that cute coffee shop in Louisville. Tomas always ushering so he could be there in case I needed to flip my shit. Tomas watching The Office with me, all the way from Syracuse to Connecticut. The death of Cindy. Vermont, and sex and heart to hearts and music and coconut oil. Coming home and substitute teaching and living here. Trying to squeeze in goodbyes. Trying to clean so I can have a new start. Getting an au pair job, getting my visa.

I’ve been home for about a month and I am so fed up. My parents are hoarders. It’s dirty, it’s cramped, it’s hard to walk or think or work. I’m at the kitchen table because my room is so cold and the wifi doesn’t reach, but I want to work without interruption and it isn’t an option. Someday I will treasure these days, but for now I can’t think I can’t function. I am overwhelmed and undermotivated. There are so many things I think I should do, and I have been doing none of them. I need to finish shoveling out my own childhood hoarders bedroom. There’s a lot on my plate.

2018 will be a bright time. I have a couple more weeks to tie up loose ends. then I will be driving across the country with Danny. I’m excited to see new places and spend time with him and make more memories and take cute instas. 2017 felt stagnant, but it wasn’t. I saved lots of money, I had some good times. There were times when I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed. It was sad, I was working so much it was isolating. Tour was a breath of fresh air, and a push that I should be doing more. I got my visa. I bought my plane ticket. I built a relationship. I moved out of my house. I made money. I stuck to a budget. I cooked for myself. I started writing and painting more. I read maybe 5 books and went on maybe 5 auditions. 2018 will be a year to focus more on my future and a career, not just a job. I’m glad I lived in Danbury because it was better than living at home, but I knew it would always be temporary, a diversion. Sydney will be as well, but it is different. It will be new and exciting and challenging in a way that Danbury isn’t and never was. 

I have lots to be proud of. I need to write more and read more. I need to finish submitting this audition and I need to finish Danny’s present. I need to make time for my goodbyes and time for fun. December has been a standstill,I can’t wait to move forward again and have more control of my environment and my circumstances. 

Goals to 2018:

-More auditions. 

-More books.

-Perform a show at the Melbourne Fringe. 

I can make it happen. It’s scary to leave everyone I love. I hope the ones that matter will still remember me. Better times, new friends, more opportunities await. Most importantly, warmer weather as well.

Much love,

K xoxo

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I hope love finds you in 2018

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$249,900/2 br

Sharon, PA

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Working holiday visa

At the end of January, I am moving to Australia on a working holiday visa. At the moment I have a lot of fears holding me back.

I’m planning on flying into Melbourne. I would love to have a friend or two when I get there. Someone to keep company, to ease the transition.

I’m friendly. I like music, and beer, and kangaroos. I’m an actor. I love art and traveling. I’m not from Alabama, that’s just a cute and current photo of me from when I was in Alabama.

Hit me up, let’s chat.

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$489,500/2 br/1200 sq ft

Martinez, CA

submission! actual real life doll house! 

built in 1912

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can someone ho ho hold me please

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you won’t EVEN believe

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