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things I need to start doing (again) for my mental health

scheduling and going on self dates no matter how busy I am. I need to sit in a cosy cafe, sipping on my coffee, journaling away, just refocusing and realizing I’m a separate entity from my work and responsibilities and that I have my personal goals and joys and derive hope, motivation and relief from that kind of time and space alone and in peace.

ignore people. and no, I don’t mean this in a ‘I’m going to be selfish and ignore people who care about me’ but rather in a way that there are many people that I communicate with regularly who neither really care about me nor really give me any positive or happy vibes, in fact, they stress me and make me feel shit. so why? why must I acknowledge them? 

flowers. this isn’t just a romantic thing that sounds good in poetry. but buying yourself flowers and just having them on your desk/table and just seeing that life, that vibrancy, that delicate, beautiful yet brief existence does something for your soul that is very underrated. 

body. body. body. like actually giving a fuck about how I am treating my body. like do I really need those 2 cubes of sugar in my coffee? do I actually even need that second cup of coffee? do I need to eat those chips just because they are in front of me? must I pick pepsi over water? must I really force myself to function on 5 hours of sleep? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FUCK NO. I don’t care if this sounds like overtly preached and or marketed but you must hydrate yourself and you must sleep for a good 8 hours and you must no try finding happiness in food. I mean it’s healthy to enjoy food, yes, but to expect food to be the source of comfort and consolation is no way to live. 

keep a safe distance from people. even the ones I love. Hold on, hold on. I don’t mean this to be that I am going to be closed off and not honest and genuine with you. I only mean that I’ve learned (one of the hardest and truest lessons) that sometimes there’s only so close you can be with someone and if you try to get closer beyond that point, you’re just fucking up the whole thing. Did I want them to be that friend I tell everything to and have sleepovers with? Yes, of course. But should have I realized that they were only ever going to be that friend I meet once in a while over coffee and talk about work problems? Duh. If it’s still confusing, I’ll give you the next one. 

flirting. romance. conversations. I don’t know if this comes with growing up or what but I am doing whatever I want with people while all the time being honest and my authentic self but not expecting to be in any sort of romantic relationship with them. It’s not meaningless fun or solace. It’s a dual caring and a sort of a precious relationship. I think the key ingredient is being grown-ups who realize the reality of things and keep their expectations to minimum and just the necessary ones and go on about their lives because we are trying (for quite a while now) to be whole by ourselves yet enjoy other people’s company and lean on them as and when required but never expect that to be a constant thing. okay so this obviously isn’t something I did before but god I am so surprised and happy that I’m doing this now. Just being. And letting others be. without having to merge our beings. 

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#BWithTheT at Pride in London, July 2019

(source) (bi groups in the UK & Ireland) (trans groups)

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LIKE or REBLOG if you suffer from VISUAL SNOW or TINNITUS or BOTH. 

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I WANT TO WRITE

my fucking computer is not working & all i wanna do is write like actually FUCK MY LIFE

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my lock & homescreen are so cute💗

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trans culture is making up fake texts of other people talking about you using your name & pronouns :)

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Fatigue with a chronic illness:

Wake up - I don’t want to get out of bed!

Midday - I need a nap!

Time to actually go to bed - I can’t sleep!

And repeat!

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acceptance;

i have this thing where i constantly invalidate my own feelings by telling myself that there’s always people worse off than me; i’m arguing with my parents? some people don’t even have any; i’m in pain? there are some people who are literally dying because they don’t have access to antibiotics or medicine to help ease their pain; my ocd symptoms are getting a little bad? there are people who can’t even leave the house and that are struggling a lot more than me on a daily basis.

in some cases it helps, for example, i can use this method to distract myself from my problems and anxiety by thinking of how others have it worse, but most of the time i just feel worse and makes me bottle-up my feelings to avoid seeming like i’m exaggerating or looking for attention.

i need to learn to accept that my feelings and pains are different from others’, and that they are valid.

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“If you’re searching for a sign to start resting tonight, realize that you did all you can today and that alone is spectacular. Let go of any guilt, worry or regret, and it’s time to relax. You are worth a bowl of ice cream, a playlist of chill music and a good night’s sleep.”

— juansen dizon, Stay calm & recharge

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i aspire to release as much carefree energy as my cat does✨

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Graveyard

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