#validation

[onemashedbraincell]

since apparently it’s Valentine’s Day, system appreciation post!

You’re valid if you’re endogenic

2. You’re valid if you’re traumagenic.

3. You’re valid if you’re mixed origins. 4. You’re valid if you don’t know or care about your system origins. 5. You’re valid if you are a median. 6. You’re valid if you are polyfragmented. 7. You’re valid if you’re mostly blurry. 8. You’re valid if your parts are clear and distinct. 9. You’re valid if you don’t experience co-consciousness. 10. You’re valid if you experience co-consciousness. 11. You’re valid if you experience co-fronting. 12. You’re valid if you don’t experience co-fronting. 13. You’re valid if you hate being a system. 14. You’re valid if you love being a system. 15. You’re valid if you don’t know how to feel about being a system. 16. You’re valid if your trauma doesn’t fit the ‘typical norm’ or expected experience. 17. You’re valid if you have factives/fictives/fucktives/songtives, etc 18. You’re valid if you have hundreds of thousands of headmates. 19. You’re valid if you only have a few headmates. 20. You’re valid if you are looking for final fusion. 21. You’re valid if you are looking for functional multiplicity. 22. You’re valid if you’re a tulpa. 23. You’re valid if you’re an introject who doesn’t want to be like their source. 24. You’re valid if you’re an Introject who does want to be like their source. 25. You’re valid if your system isn’t very active. 26. You’re valid if your system is extremely active. 27. You’re valid if you have a core. 28. You’re valid if you don’t have a core. 29. You’re valid if you have a host. 30. You’re valid if you’re hostless. 31. You’re valid if you have a headspace. 32. You’re valid if you don’t have a headspace. 33. You’re valid if you have a relationship with another headmate. 34. You’re valid if you’re a bodily minor OR adult system. 35. You’re valid if you don’t like some/all of your headmates. 36. You’re valid if you love all your headmates. 37. You’re valid if you’re a disordered system. 38. You’re valid if you’re a non-disordered system. 39. You’re valid if you’re introject heavy. 40. You’re valid if you’re brain-made heavy. 41. You’re valid if you’re non-human heavy. 42. You’re valid if you’re covert. 43. You’re valid if you’re overt. 45. You’re valid if you’re an age regressor. 46. You’re valid if you’re a pet regressor. 47. You’re valid if you don’t identify with the body. 48. You’re valid if you do identify with the body. 49. You’re valid for feeling angry about those who hurt you. 50. You’re valid if you have a lot of control over your system. 51. You’re valid if you experience little to no control over your system. 52. You’re valid if your system structure is complex. 54. You’re valid if your system structure is simple. 55. You’re valid if you’re mono conscious. 56. You’re valid if you’re biconscious or triconscious. 57. You’re valid no matter your conscious term. 58. You’re valid if you want labels about your experiences. 59. You’re valid if you don’t want labels for your experiences. 60. You’re valid for having source trauma. 61. You’re valid for not having source trauma. 62. You’re valid for having alters split due to other alters either negatively or positively. 63. You are valid if you split for no reason, or a reason you can’t identify. 64. You’re valid for being different from the norm. 65. It’s okay to be wrong about your identity. Even if you aren’t plural, it’s what fit you at the time. Identity shifts. We’re always learning about ourselves. You made a mistake is all, you’re not a monster for making a mistake.

I could go on and on for days, but I think you get the jist.

YOU ARE VALID. NO MATTER YOUR EXPERIENCE. YOUR EXPERIENCES ARE REAL. YOU DONT NEED TO FIT INTO THE CONFINED BOX OF REQUIREMENTS TO BE CONSIDERED PLURAL.

Happy Valentines Days, everyone. <3

[classycookiexo]

[akindplace]

you are not a failure for not being able to handle everything on your own. you’re not having a hard time because you’re weaker than other people, things truly have been really difficult lately and other people would probably have a hard time too, and those who are overly critical of you don’t go through the same things you do, and they would probably struggle if they did. please have a little compassion for yourself. things have been really hard and you are not exaggerating. asking for help doesn’t make you a needless burden. you don’t have to carry all that alone.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Sometimes we think we are over a certain behaviour or mental pattern. We think we have "healed" it, we are done and can move on. But if we look at it more deeply, we are probably not that done. And it's okay: it's something we have been doing and thinking for years, we cannot get over it in few days or months. So many aspects come into play, and we may need to work on the same thing more than once. With more and more determination.

So please be kind with yourself, and allow yourself to heal it once more. Do not feel bad about needing more work on the same situation. I know well it is really tiring and at times disheartening, but don't let this bring you down. You were (and still are) only trying to protect and save yourself, and cope with the lack of some form of care and affection you deserved to receive but probably could not for whatever reason.

Allow yourself to feel the pain, but know that you cannot find what you need where you used to search for it. You need to collect the strength and courage to look somewhere else. And not feel guilty for it, and for choosing yourself.

[1-8oo-wtfbro]

does anyone else wish they could switch bodies with someone/give their pain to someone to see how that person reacts? like, am i being too over dramatic or is it really that bad? can they white knuckle it or are they also kneeling over in pain??

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Everyone else when their posts get popular: oh no, this is terrible, please don't do this to me!

Me when my posts get popular: This is great. I’m going to get a good grade in Tumblr, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve

[traumasurvivors]

People seemed to really like the last one, so here's a new one! There might be a bit of crossover with the last one but there should also be new ones!

Please pass this along. <3

[creature-wizard]

I have noticed that many people don't want to show gratitude or give people validation because they're afraid of being taken advantage of.

Which, I don't know if you've noticed, but that particular demon - the fear of being taken advantage of - is part of what's got people in favor of cutting social services and deporting immigrants.

It's all part of the competition mindset that capitalism weaponizes to oppress and divide us.

[aseaofquotes]

Megan Nolan, Acts of Desperation

[deebrisbyfish]

So, I've been making webcomics and posting them online foooor... ugh... a fart shy of 25 years now. And in that time, I have yet to really learn this lesson. Truly, I am the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. :)

[classycookiexo]

[akindplace]

Having a soft heart is not a shameful thing. Being earnest about what you love isn’t either. Sometimes it feels tiring to care when so many people in the world act like nothing moves them. But it doesn’t mean you should become uncaring only to seem stronger, because allowing yourself to be moved, to love, to be sensitive and soft is a brave thing, especially in a world that often seems so cruel. Remember to treat yourself with that same softness, that same care. It’s not a shameful thing to be vulnerable, to be seen.

[korrainasamisjacket]

Happy 10 year anniversary to our babes.

[sk-lumen]

Reminder that you don't need to get people's approval to go for something. All you need is ownership over your choices.

Want to go on a weekend spa solo and you have the finances for it? Go for it, you don't need your friends' approval to validate your decisions. Want to get a dog because you've always wanted one? Just do it, you don't need your family's approval to make a decision as an adult. Want to reconnect with an old friend or travel to another country? Just do it. Always had dreams of becoming an influencer? Just start posting fancy stories on social media.

Understand that this is your life, and you can do as you please without someone confirming you're allowed to do it. The only person who needs to agree is you.

[succulentsiren]

Stop giving away your power by letting what others think of you, define you. People’s perceptions of you hold no value unless you allow it. If you don’t agree with how others see you, create you own narrative and start defining yourself.

Shift your mindset from needing validation, to knowing who you are. Don’t walk into the room thinking “I wonder what they think of me.” Walk into the room thinking “I don’t mind what they think of me. I know who I am. I am the best.”

And sure, this mindset may seem like arrogance but it is far better than craving approval or trying to explain yourself to others.

You can either give your power away by depending on the approval of others or you can free yourself, become the main character and perceive yourself the way you desire.