qiianyun

[qiianyun]

💔 I’m a failure

Source: This

[qiianyun]

BLUE LOCK (manga cover) THEORY!!! (Send help!!!!!)

1. Michael Kaiser

Spoiler warning!

For simplicity, I’m gonna be referring to the collar and chain that characters have as CC

Kaiser:

- CC looks “invisible,” like it’s made of air.

We all know, Kaiser had a very tragic backstory, and a major part of said backstory was his father

1. Beating him

2. Choking him

When his (Kaiser’s) backstory is revealed, one of the most notable panels is him being choked out by his father

Whenever you think of his backstory, you may think of this panel, or something similar.

Now, in Kaiser’s manga cover, he’s seen with an invisible CC

BARK BARK MEOW PURRRR ARF ARF ARF MRRRROOWW

Hopefully, if you’re reading this theory, you’re aware that Kaiser’s playstyle is Restriction • World style

(You probably know where I’m going with this)

Isagi my puzzle king 🤑🤑

I believe this playstyle resulted from his abuse as a child (beatings, choking, the need to steal to survive). All of these things have one similarity.

They all resulted due to a restriction of some sort.

The physical abuse from his dad came from being unwanted, which restricted his ability to flourish as a child.

The need to steal came from the restriction of poverty (and his shitass father xoxo).

This manifested into the ability to preform above and beyond in stressful situations.

Now, you might be saying: “Oh yeah! That makes sense!! The CC is the cloud of his father’s abuse and his trauma personified!”

WOMP WOMP WRONG!!!!

You’re close, but not there yet.

Along with being a shadow of his trauma, his CC is a representation of how his self harm.

We see Kaiser choking himself before the PxG (I think, I haven’t revisited the manga in a while, so I’m probably wrong) match, as he feared his “spot” being taken away by Isagi.

After a while of this, Kaiser realizes “another strategy” (example of his restriction style ego)

All of this is to say:

(I believe) Kaiser’s CC on the cover of Vol. 19 is a representation of this (self) imposed restrictions, along with being a personification of the abuse he went through as a child.

The CC reminds me of how artists draw air, something Kaiser wouldn’t have when his father choked him. It can also be interpreted as how he hasn’t gotten over his traumas yet; enabling himself.

I don’t wanna try and connect all my thoughts together fluidly anymore, so I’m just gonna list this out in bullet points.

Please don’t take anything I say as law, due to the fact that this is only a theory. A BLUE LOCK THEORY 🤑🤑🔫

* Kaiser’s CC represents his trauma and ego type

* The CC looks similar to air/wind, in the “they are both invisible to the naked eye” type of relation

* The CC is see through, further solidifying the assumption it isn’t a physical restriction, but something caused from years of mental distress and the inability/refusal to heal

and most importantly:

The CC covers his rose tattoo, which is a representation of freedom, and making the impossible possible, meaning that (with the assumption that everything I theorized above is true), he is still bound by his past and “incapable” of breaking free.

(Incapable is in quotations, as we do see Kaiser breaking free during PxG).

Thanks for reading, I hope this was relatively comprehensible.

Loki, Ness, and Hiori coming next 🤑🤑

[qiianyun]

Mulling over Rin’s emotionally incestious relationship with Sae…

Tw: pro yapper at work

ts was spurred on by a drawing I saw on Pinterest of Rin running to kiss Sae during a kiss cam moment during a soccer game (idk if the artist was a shipper, I just thought it encapsulated their relationship lmao)

rin you're so brocken bro 💔💔

Throughout the anime and manga, we see Rin consistently obsessing over his brother, even after he “overcomes” it during the PXG vs BM match, I can still see him being thinking of brother as somebody he must surpass/prove himself to.

As a child, Rin is always following Sae around, seeing his brother as the best person in the world. Sae is Rin’s obsession. The person who inspired him to start playing soccer, and the person who he was so obsessed with that they were the only reason he kept playing soccer.

It’s obvious that Rin’s obsession with Sae is extremely unhealthy.

(Entering Yun conspiracy land)

I imagine that Rin entered some form of depressive state/became depressed (or at the very least, really fucking sad) after Sae’s abandonment. For his whole life, Rin was his only reason to keep going, the one person who he thought would never abandon him.

He 100% has a brother complex/one of those borderline incestious boy mom relationships with Sae. This includes wanting to simultaneously destroy and uplift his brother, wanting to be the only person his brother notices, etc…

Rin is highkey probably a bit of a yondere when it comes to his brother, considering how he constantly obsesses over him

Idk where I was going with this… just wanted to get this out of my system. Might continue idk. Mischaracterization pmo so I wanted to get this out there...

[qiianyun]

The Morality of Cannibalism

Tw: critical thinking + yap session

TLDR; cannibalism as a widespread and mainstream thing is just better left alone, as the consequences will outweigh the benefits.

Something I don’t see many people addressing when it comes to the topic of cannibalism is the dehumanization and erosion of morality that comes from it. I just saw a YouTube video speaking on the topic of cannibalism, video here, and the comments (from what I’ve seen) spoke mainly about the consent part, ignoring the morality of it.

I only saw two comments on the morality of cannibalism (which sorta sucks, because I love it when people get into the moral and philosophical parts of topics like cannibalism).

Even if it is consensual, cannibalism in itself is (imo) dehumanizing. Yes, consensual cannibalism means that there is no violence behind it, and that the person being consumed is okay with it, but what about how dehumanizing this is?

Just because something is consensual, doesn’t mean it is good.

Throughout history, European slave owners dehumanized the African men and women, reducing them to simply animals.

There’s a real risk, that if cannibalism becomes a mainstream thing, even under the guarantee that the people who are being eaten are 100% consenting to this, the non-cannibalism people will begin to see them in a lesser light, leading to future generations, who grow up under the ideals of:

cannibalism-people = to be eaten, so they don’t matter

non-cannibalism people = not to be eaten, therefore more important.

This can be seen with non-poc & poc (Im going to make a huuuuge generalization right now, but OBVIOUSLY, this is only some white people). White people have oppressed poc (specifically in America, as that is where I live) for the majority of history.

Poc (specifically Africans when considering the earlier days of America) were dehumanized, seen lesser than animals, and there is a high chance that this will be the same with humans who live for the purpose of being eaten.

The intrinsically immoral and dehumanizing part of cannibalism is the fact that you are activley consuming another sentient human being, with the same thoughts, emotions, and feelings as you.

Cannibalism, even if said meat for cannibalism is sourced ethically, leads to the very real, and very bad reality of turning humans, which are capable of complicated thought into nothing but cows grown for their meat. (basically some tender is the flesh type shit)(edited)

We know for a FACT capitalist companies will do ANYTHING for profit--and the fact that humans will actively be (for lack of a better word) harvested, these companies will take advantage of this, dabbling in human trafficking and most likley obtaining non-consensual human flesh for consumption.

This will then lead to not only the dehumanization of people, but an increase in human trafficking, and a decrease in morality.

I mean, without steadfast and non arguable concepts like "cannibalism is bad," or "slavery is bad," how will children be taught morality?

I hate to be the one to say it, but children (at least up until a certain age, which is probably past their most formative years), will not be able to grasp the concept of "okay, so all people matter the same, but some of them can be eaten because they want to."(edited)

They'll ask questions like "but why do those people want to be eaten," and "if all people matter the same, why do you let some be eaten." Questions, that many adults wont be able to answer (considering how the world is currently going into an intellectual decline)

I don't want to minimise the intelligence of children, as they are INCREDIBLY smart, but there is a level of background information needed for discussion on topics like this, and young children, when they are still learning and forming their own opinions, simply just wont have this information.

Just like with racist and homophobic parents teaching their kids racist and homophobic principals, there also runs the 100% possible risk of some children being raised in families where the parents see for-cannibalism people as lesser, will become like their parents, spurring on the dehumanization of humanity.

Just like what the video said, "even with consent, some acts like cannibalism could undermine the moral fabric of society."

(sorry if this is a bit rambly & not written very well, I'm writing this on like 3 hours of sleep, and everything is blurring together)

[qiianyun]

YES YES YES YES YES

we need to talk about reo’s mischaracterization.

no, he is not some perfect and sweet guy who will spoil you rotten with money. in fact, it’s hinted at that reo dislikes and often avoids using his money on other people. reo is not emotionally intelligent in the least and was so sheltered in his childhood that he grew up to be emotionally vulnerable, hence why he doesn’t look at the big picture and think things through and only tries to get nagi back when he leaves him.

reo is so used to having everything handed to him that the moment something gets taken away from him, he loses all logic and will do anything to get it back. he likes everything to be in his control, and he likes it when people does what he wants them to, uncaring of their emotions and only caring about his own. in a way, reo’s personality is extremely similar to his father’s, as his father wanted reo to inherit the corporation despite reo’s not wanting to.

when things don’t go his way, reo turns into a spoiled brat. he gets upset and refuses to see the bigger picture, often too caught up in his own emotions to realize the logic of the situation and that he is being immature.

this panel says a lot. for context, reo’s parents had just told him that he can’t win the world cup because he needs to inherit the company. before i discuss the ridiculous situation here, why does reo even consider killing his parents? they haven’t been abusive in any way up to this point in his entire life. he has zero right to want to kill his parents. not only that, but his dad has a point. reo is 16 (soon to be 17) in this scene, and his dad is perfectly correct to think that starting soccer so late, especially in a life where you’ve been training for business your entire childhood, is stupid.

all in all, im all for reo being a lovesick guy who gets emotionally attached easily. but remember that this guy also has a nasty spoiled personality who has the emotional maturity of a child and the attitude of a toddler when things don’t go his way.

(and yes, i do know that his parents are to blame for their child ending up this way since they’ve spoiled him ever since he was born.)

[qiianyun]

struggle meal

here are the response I got from raven

(I called it a pregnancy craving meal) You're killing the baby with that. its going to kill it.

If I was homeless and somebody offered THAT to me, I would reject it with full offense--im packing my shit up and moving

I can't even-- ugh.

It reminds me of those videos of polish people eating gelatin with fish in it. Yeah, that's what it looks like. perfect description, in liquid form.

it genuinely looks like thick water with severed fingers floating in it

when you flipped the camera I physically recoiled

This needs to be studied

ew-ugh, you're dipping it???

it looks like a new organism

it looks like bacteria

(I said "anything else you have to say about my perfectly fine and normal meal?") perfectly fine and normal meal??? that thing looks grayer than queen Elizabeth when she died.

@kleinmae

(after seeing the Tumblr post)

oh my god I recoiled before I could finish scrolling

im not even gonna like it.

that's just so sad.

[qiianyun]

my most unhinged yet reasonable theory on what happened to sae in spain is that he was harassed by the media and fans, was a victim of racism, and lost an extremely important match as a striker for his first ever match.

blue lock isn’t one to shy away from dark topics such as child abuse, violence, death, suicide, and bullying, as it is often inspired by lives of real life players. racism is, unfortunately, still a prominent thing in all countries. sae is from japan, a country that is heavily fetished and romanticized but also made fun of often for its culture. i wouldn’t be surprised if a large part of sae’s experiences in spain was being faced with racism.

another thing is child celebrities and exposing children to media at a young age where they can often be unprepared. child celebrities is a dark topic in of itself, and it’s unfortunately something that has been normalized. japan is known for being polite, but even in such a respectful country, sae already can’t stand the media even though the media in japan is arguably much more polite than the rest of the world.

sae was 13 when he got to spain, which is just old enough to be a teenager. looking at real life, teenage celebrities are often harassed by fans, sometimes even stalked. sae is canonically good looking and skilled, something that fans will cling to no matter what. not only that, but the media is relentless. harsh articles will be immediately written about someone the moment they say something even slightly controversial, and something like this happening to a 13 year old will break them. i know that sae is mentally stronger than the average person, but everyone has their limits.

finally, i think that the first match that sae plays in as a striker will be a complete failure. he will play against a team with an incredible striker who is much better than him, and it will likely be a horrible loss because of sae’s inexperience or stress from the previously stated media or because the opposing striker is so skilled. anyways, it can’t be leonardo luna. luna is 27, sae is 18. when sae was 13, luna would be 22. he’s too much of an unc to play against sae.

[qiianyun]

peak

When your Character...

Gets into: A Fight ⚜ ...Another Fight ⚜ ...Yet Another Fight

Hates Someone ⚜ Kisses Someone ⚜ Falls in Love

Calls Someone they Love ⚜ Dies / Cheats Death ⚜ Drowns

is...

A Ballerina ⚜ A Child ⚜ Interacting with a Child ⚜ A Cheerleader

A Cowboy ⚜ A Genius ⚜ A Lawyer ⚜ A Pirate ⚜ A Spy

A Wheelchair User ⚜ A Zombie ⚜ Beautiful ⚜ Dangerous ⚜ Drunk

Funny ⚜ In a Coma ⚜ In a Secret Society ⚜ Injured ⚜ Shy

needs...

A Magical Item ⚜ An Aphrodisiac ⚜ A Fictional Poison

A Coping Strategy ⚜ A Drink ⚜ A Medicinal Herb ⚜ A Mentor

Money ⚜ A Persuasion Tactic ⚜ A Quirk ⚜ To be Killed Off

To Become Likable ⚜ To Clean a Wound ⚜ To Self-Reflect

To Find the Right Word, but Can't ⚜ To Say No ⚜ To Swear

loves...

Astronomy ⚜ Baking ⚜ Cooking ⚜ Cocktails ⚜ Food ⚜ Oils

Dancing ⚜ Fashion ⚜ Gems ⚜ Herbal Remedies ⚜ Honey

Mushrooms ⚜ Mythology ⚜ Numbers ⚜ Perfumes

Roses ⚜ Sweets ⚜ To Argue ⚜ To Insult ⚜ To Kiss

To Make False Claims ⚜ Wine ⚜ Wine-Tasting ⚜ Yoga

has/experiences...

Allergies ⚜ Amnesia ⚜ Bereavement ⚜ Bites & Stings

Bruises ⚜ Caffeine ⚜ CO Poisoning ⚜ Color Blindness

Facial Hair ⚜ Fainting ⚜ Fevers ⚜ Food Allergies

Food Poisoning ⚜ Fractures ⚜ Frostbite ⚜ Hypothermia

Injuries ⚜ Jet Lag ⚜ Kidnapping ⚜ Manipulation ⚜ Mutism

Pain ⚜ Paranoia ⚜ Poisoning ⚜ More Pain & Violence

Scars ⚜ Trauma ⚜ Viruses ⚜ Wounds

[these are just quick references. more research may be needed to write your story...]

Writing Resources PDFs

[qiianyun]

yes

the look of love (for writers)

"it's all in the eyes i was once told"

catching the stare of someone across a crowded room

subtle furrowing of eyebrows beyond a blank facade

coldness easing into warmth

a fond mothering gaze

corner of the lip nudged upward

forced glower/glare as they break underneath

batting their lashes, playful

a boisterous laugh

intrigue piercing the stoic

proud smugness at the other's success

lingering glances

a childish joy bursting through

pupils dilate

eyelids shut in a look of peace, calm and trust

look of longing/betrayal

"there was once a time when they were mine"

terseness

features fold into a scowl

an urgent flinching back

coldness returns (as though the warmth had never come)

lips part then purse

invasion of shock

slow stare at the floor

the ripple effect of a swallow

frustrated breath/sigh

bitter laugh in reminiscence

dread tearing through the seams of their composure

look of hatred

"darkness"

mean smirk- teeth bared grimace- scowl

dismissive gaze

gaze of contempt/impatience

threat lowering the voice

sardonic goading grins verging on manic

rolling one's eyes

flicker of irritation in the eyes

stares stubbornly ahead despite distraction

gritted teeth, clenched jaw

fierce biting remarks

even measured complexions betraying no thought

strangling oneself back from violence

utter apathy

murderous silence hanging in the stare

snobbish laughter

smiling at another's downfall

[qiianyun]

Peak

Writing Description Notes:

Updated 9th September 2024 More writing tips, review tips & writing description notes

Facial Expressions

Masking Emotions

Smiles/Smirks/Grins

Eye Contact/Eye Movements

Blushing

Voice/Tone

Body Language/Idle Movement

Thoughts/Thinking/Focusing/Distracted

Silence

Memories

Happy/Content/Comforted

Love/Romance

Sadness/Crying/Hurt

Confidence/Determination/Hopeful

Surprised/Shocked

Guilt/Regret

Disgusted/Jealous

Uncertain/Doubtful/Worried

Anger/Rage

Laughter

Confused

Speechless/Tongue Tied

Fear/Terrified

Mental Pain

Physical Pain

Tired/Drowsy/Exhausted

Eating

Drinking

Warm/Hot

[qiianyun]

Dyed my hair today (with the help of a friend).

It looks like somebody period blooded all over our hands (his words)

[qiianyun]

How long do you think Erwin is?

like 2 mm.

ok but if we're talking literally.... since he's like 6'2, and the JJK fandom managed to measure Gojos Weiner

this isn't actually correct, as Gojo is 6'3", so lets just put him at around the 6.5-7.5 inches. Erwin, being only one inch shorter and European, compared to Gojo's Japanese descent (i'm sorry but its literally scientifically proven asian guys have smaller eggplants... Ik... me, not glazing gojo?? crazy.)

With just guesstimation and 3 hours of sleep, I say Erwin is around 7-8in.

armin still better

[qiianyun]

ʏᴀᴘᴘɪɴɢ - ᴅɪꜱᴄᴏʀᴅ

will hopefully be consistently updated...

ᓚᘏᗢ

♡ɞ✦ ┊friend group

♡ɞ✦ ┊context?

♡ɞ✦ ┊struggle meal

back 2 masterlist

[qiianyun]

𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒊 𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅.

OC x Sae Itoshi (you can replace my oc's name with yours idk?? pls just give me clout 🙏)

Posted originally on my AO3 story (chap 12). Can be read as a standalone one shot though :3 (I will write y/n x character - Your oc x character, if requested :D)

TW: Su-cide, implied dr-g use!!

I recommend listening to Anthems for A Seventeen Year-Old Girl when reading this (I had the song on repeat when I was writing this chapter lmao)

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

𝙔𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙝𝙞, 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮.

𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙪𝙡𝙩.

𝙄'𝙢 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙚, 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚.

𝙔𝙤𝙪, 𝙢𝙖', 𝙥𝙖', 𝙬𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬.

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚.

𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙔𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙝𝙞.

𝙈𝙤𝙢, 𝘿𝙖𝙙. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙄'𝙫𝙚 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙢𝙚𝙩.

𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪.

𝙋𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

𝙎𝙖𝙚.

𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮.

𝙏𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙃𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙖 𝙄 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙝𝙞.

𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮, 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚.

𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚.

𝙋𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚.

𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

A dry chuckle escaped Yukio's cracked lips, the striker sinking deeper into the warm water of the bathtub, watching with morbid intrigue as red infected the beautiful, clear liquid around him.

"I'm going to die."

He stared up at the blank, clinical ceiling, a realization hitting him.

"I'm going to die."

𝙄'𝙢 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙣 𝙪𝙣𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙧 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙮.

𝘼𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚.

𝘐𝘧 𝙄 𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙙𝙙𝙖𝙢𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡, 𝙜𝙤𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

"Yukio?"

Sae stepped tentatively into their shared dorm, eyes darting around the dark entranceway. He had left practice early-not even changing out of his jersey- although with no idea why. Something told him to leave.

something was wrong.

so, so, incredibly wrong.

"Yukio?" Sae felt himself begin to panic, not bothering to take off his cleats, rushing throughout the dorm.

Living room? Not there. Kitchen? Nope. Bedroom? No.

Yukio was always in his room these days.

"Yukio- Yukio? Where are you..?"

He hadn't checked the bathroom yet.

Sae felt his hand freeze, hovering over the door handle.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Something was so so so wrong.

Sae was scared of what he would see.

He pushed on the door, trying the handle.

It was locked.

FUCK.

The redhead became more panicked, rattling the door handle, cursing under his breath.

"YUKIO! LET ME IN! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" With a slam of his fist, Sae began pounding on the wooden barrier--the only thing preventing him from seeing Yukio.

From finding out if he was still alive or not.

He didn't realize it yet, but Sae was screaming, throwing his shoulder to the door- pleading for Yukio to let him in. It was good nobody was around. Sae didn't scream, and Yukio was okay. It was okay. He was okay. They were both okay.

what a fucking lie.

With one final slam of his shoulder, the door gave.

Shit shit shit shit. No way no way no way no way-- he didn't- Yukio didn't- there was no way-

this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. this couldn't be happening. 

THIS COULDN'T BE HAPPENING.

"YUKIO!"

Sae screamed as he rushed to the boy's side, hands wrapping around the limp form of his... friend? lover? partner in crime? What-- what was he? Why did Sae even care so much? Plus, everything was okay. It was always okay.

It was okay when their coach died--the police didn't find out. It was okay when he saw Yukio flinch as Hinata grabbed his arm, when the small crimson droplet of blood ran down his palm. It was okay when he found Yukio hunched over the toilet, with white, powdery lines that he pretended not to notice on the side of the sink counter.

What had happened? Sae glanced around, eyes wide, looking for anything that could help, reaching desperately in his pocket for his phone, hands coated in blood.

Fuck, there was so much blood.

Long, red streaks marred the smooth underarms of the ivory pale boy in his arms, gushing out tidal waves of blood, staining the pristine white bathroom tiles a deep vermillion.

Sae dialed 112, shakily holding the phone up to his ear, breath ragged.

"Please help him, please help him, please--"

Sae couldn't breathe. He couldn't get his words out correctly.

He needed to be able to speak--he had to breathe so he could get Yukio help. Please Sae, useless, mediocre, lukewarm Sae, please get your act together for once. Save him.

.

Here he was now sitting in a Spanish ambulance, watching blankly as the first responders rushed to put pressure on Yukio's wounds, shouting at each other.

Something about saving the genius.

Saving the pride of the youth team.

Yukio hated being called a genius.

Yukio would hate this.

Sae looked away, eyes turning to his hands, wrapped securely around his own arms. The redheads eyes widened with realization... or was he really realizing anything? His mind felt blank. He heard nothing but the ringing in his, ears, saw nothing but the crimson blood and rose colored crescents indented in his limbs.

He was bleeding. Just like how Yukio was. Red. Although, not nearly as violently.

The crumpled notes sat in his pockets; Sae was too afraid to read them.

.

Yukio looked up at the blank, clinical ceiling.

Not the pearly gates of heaven. Not the six paths, not even at the river of Styx.

A blank, clinical ceiling.

Actually, no. He was wrong. It wasn't just a blank, clinical ceiling. He could see the bars of a hospital bed around him, sheets drawn, a blood bag hung nearby.

It wasn't the blank clinical ceiling of his bathroom, no. It was that of a hospital. If Yukio focused hard enough, he could hear the faint beeping of a heart monitor and the sounds of soft crying nearby.

Soft... Crying? Who was crying? Why were they crying? Was it over him? Why would anybody cry over him?

"my head hurts."

Almost immediately, the crying ceased, the blue curtains surrounding his bed being ripped open with force.

"yukio."

Sae's words were almost inaudible, too quiet for Yukio to pick up on. The hospitalized boy had to read the lips of the redhead above him.

Had Sae been crying? How silly. Why would anybody cry over him?

A shaky hand reached up to touch the redheads tangled bangs, feeling the smooth hair underneath his numb fingers.

Why had he wanted to die? That was such a silly thought. Why would he want to die when Sae was here? What was wrong with him, making the midfielder cry like this.

A salty tear dropped onto the corner of Yukio's mouth, seeping between his lips.

How strange. Sae's tears tasted the exact same as his own. How funny. Perhaps the two weren't so different. After all, Yukio was a terrible person, but he supposed... he was still just a person. Just as Sae, no matter how gorgeous, amazing, and kind he was, was just a person. He was just like Yukio, and Yukio was just like him.

"don't cry... you'll get wrinkles."

With a small chuckle, Yukio pulled Sae down by his bangs, hand migrating to the back of his head, tousling the mop of red hair.

Their lips touched.

They kissed.

Softly. Barley grazed each other, even, but it was still a kiss.

Sae stared down at Yukio, eyes blown wide, pupils dilated. He didn't know if he wanted to kill the weakly laughing boy beneath him, or if he wanted to kiss again.

He could kill Yukio later.

.

"What is WRONG with you, Yukio!"

Sae chastised Yukio, tone harsh, although his actions directly contrasted said tone.

The two were bundled under the blankets together, Sae softly cradling Yukio's smug form, threading his hands through his raven locks. With a rough tap to the back of his head, Yukio whined.

"soooorrry."

"The doctors found out about your little drug escapades, idiot! What'll happen to your soccer career!?" Another rough hit was directed to the back of the boys scalp, before being soothed with a warm palm.

Sae's comment went unanswered, simply inciting a sigh from Yukio.

"I... don't like soccer."

'huh?'

Sae raised a brow, glaring down at the striker, who had suddenly lowered his gaze... eyes pensive. Sae immediately softened at this, pushing Yukio into his chest.

"It's okay. If you start liking soccer again, then we can play."

[qiianyun]

???? What????? Where???? Context????

[qiianyun]

Me when the friend group can’t stop switching topics 🤑

[qiianyun]

can we interlock our toes??