rkhailey-blog

[rkhailey-blog]

!!

OKAY I’M GONNA WRITE THIS QUICK BC I’M ALREADY REGRETTING THIS

i’m dropping hailey.

I KNOW i kn OW  i’m so sorry i love her so much and i’m so sad fkdjsnfjkldfn but she doesn’t feel like she belongs in the kpop industry anymore :( she’s been pestering me about broadway for a long time and i’m letting her go. so, for her friends: hailey is leaving to new york!! she’s gonna live with her bff & true love eli kim & she’s gonna eat well and have a decent amount of sleep. she’s gonna find shitty, small parts in musicals at  first, but they’re going to get better over time. 

thanks to everyone who loved hailey and plotted with her <3 & sorry abt ppl who had plots with her!!

lov u!

[rkhailey-blog]

ahn hailey @hxxley95 · now

honestly had a dream about bubble tea last night

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[rkhailey-blog]

paths.

she was confused. or rather, she is confused.

her choices were clear until now. however, most of her choices were made for her. all her life, her parents chose from her outfit to her studies. and even if they weren’t the ones to actively decide for her, they were always the driving force. 

hailey feels like she’s back in high school, when she isn’t sure if she really loved music or if she was conditioned to think so. she didn’t know if that was her passion because she really connected to it or if she just didn’t know other passions. she never had other hobbies - she would never know. 

now, hailey knows she loves music. she loves performing and she loves belting to the beautiful words that can bring so many different emotions to people. she sings all the time in all opportunities. however, as she gets deep into the industry - the korean music industry - she wonders if that’s the path she truly wants. surely, being an idol is amazing. the girl admires everyone around her and she has the drive to become an idol as well, but as doubts flood her mind, hailey can feel her fire becoming smaller. she just doesn’t know if she wants to be an idol. she wants to be a performer, hailey knows that much, but she’s not sure if she wants to be part of the korean music industry. 

but again, the other choice she considers is performing in musicals. and even though she loves them with a passion, hailey can’t help but wonder if her parents are again behind her choices. did she want broadway because she thinks she’ll really love it or did she want to prove a point to her parents? 

a sigh falls from her lips and she twists her hair into a ponytail, leaving her new, considerable less warm apartment in dongdaemungu. 

[rkhailey-blog]

ahn hailey @hxxley95 · now

new projects coming! keep an eye at my channel! ~

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[rkhailey-blog]

      @HYQUEEN                             ⌚ 15 minutes ago

to everyone.... i’m sorry..... i’m probably not posting again on instagram until next year.... 

   ❤  1941 like this                              123 comments

[rkhailey-blog]

hailey has no idea if jieun notices how uncomfortable she gets whenever she’s voicing her feelings. even though she’s there, opening up about these awfully traumatic experiences of hers, there is still something on her core that whispers she’s not supposed to tell this to anyone. that she is supposed to put a smile on her face and shrug it off and pretend she’s the same girl she’s always been. hailey always pretends. she pretends she’s stripped of pessimism and negativeness until this sounds a lot like the truth. the brunette denies the depth of her own character in order to keep her piece of mind and her reputation before others. she prefers to appear stainless than to show her wounds. 

her muscles are tense when the older female touches her and hailey feels like the mere touch can send her crumbling down. she’s just as an ash pile, standing until someone touches it. as soon as someone’s hands are on her, she would fall back to the ground. but she swallows and holds everything in. her head tilts and she offers a thankful smile to jieun, because she grasped just what’s important about hailey’s speech. once, the guilt was so great she couldn’t barely breathe and though everyone mirrored her sunbae’s words, she never believed them. she was his girlfriend. he was the one she loved and yet she ended up watching him die without much noise. she thinks things are different now, but in the end she always wonders - are they really?

nods are the company to jieun’s words and she looks to the ground, her shoe making strange drawings on the dust. everything she said hit home hard and hailey sighs, putting her hand over her friend’s for a second or two. “i’m sorry. for your friend, i mean” she bites on her bottom lip, then, looking towards the graves. hailey just nods and starts making a path she knows way too well. the green grass being crushed by her feet is the only sound between them. hailey doesn’t say anything else, feeling her stomach clenching uncomfortably like it always did when she visited aiden. 

she gets to the grave in increasingly slow steps until she stops completely. her hands shake slightly and silent tears roll down her face because it always hits her just how much this is real and definitive. that his body is buried under the ground and she’ll never see him again, or touch him or hear him laugh. because he is dead and he isn’t coming back. hailey would rather have broken up with him tragically. she would rather have him as an enemy than a dead lover. all over the marble surface there are dumb stickers of things he liked and a dry chuckle leaves her lips because she knows he’d love it if he could see it. he was so dumb but so, so very lovable.

an unsure glance is spent towards jieun before she takes another step towards the grave. hailey sets the flowers down, crouching down and staying that way, forearms resting on her knees. “hey” she whispers, hesitantly. she knows he can’t answer and she isn’t sure he can listen, but there’s something nice about talking. “i brought you flowers. i didn’t know what else to bring, don’t complain.” she chuckles. “i... things changed a lot since the last time i was here. did you see that i got into royal? you know, that company i really liked? yeah, i’m a trainee now. i’ll bring my first album signed by me when i debut, you’re welcome” she sighs then, her breath quickly becoming a sob. hailey wants to say she misses him, but she prefers not to, hiding her face behind the sleeve of her shirt. she gets up quickly, moving away from the grave as if it would make her stop crying immediately. her breath is short, cut by her sobs and she looks to jieun between teary eyes. “sorry for this, unnie” hailey manages to say before tears take over her again. “i just... i-i really wanted... to see him... i... i really wanted him... to see where i am now” and then she covers her face again. 

she is a pile of ashes and it’s aiden who sends her crumbling down. 

coming clean ,

Then she rounds the car, reaching for the younger’s arm and resting an arm around her shoulders for comfort. “I might not understand what you feel since I haven’t been in such a situation but I did saw myself faced with a friend taking their own life. I also blamed myself for that, thinking I could have done more, said more- been there for her more.” And she assumed that was exactly what Hailey thought as well. “In the end though, we can only do so much. Offering support won’t mean they will accept it. At times there is just nothing you can do, as helpless as that makes us feel. In the end, everyone takes their own decisions and no one can influence them.” Rubbing her shoulder comfortingly, she hoped those words helped. Letting go, she took a step ahead, adjusting her bag over her shoulder. “Shall we go then?”

[rkhailey-blog]

fragile.

( rkhxra )

it’s been months since hailey joined royal entertainment. her stomach doesn’t turn uncomfortably every time she enters the building anymore and nor does she gets lost in the hallways as much. she’s gotten used to the routine and how things worked around that. she doesn’t feel the thrill she used to in her first months - though that doesn’t mean she became bored or unhappy. hailey is simply comfortable now, royal schedule becoming her own. even though months have passed, she still held the title of hoobae to every other trainee but now she hears that new trainees are coming and she can’t be more excited. 

some of them, she’s especially excited about. hara is one of them. she likes the younger female a lot, finding her very adorable and immediately put her under her wing when she got to know that she got a contract from royal. the trainee knows that things aren’t especially agreeable with her parents - they never were and that is something she can relate to - so despite her excitement, she feels like she’s tiptoeing around hara. she wants the other female to know that she’s there for her in case she needs anything and that she cares. but sometimes, hailey feels it’s hard. hailey herself doesn’t feel comfortable to open up about family matters - or any personal matter - so she knows where hara is coming from. 

“aigoo, where is my cute hoobaenimmm” hailey cries, wrapping her arms around hara’s shoulders when she’s standing behind the younger in the cafeteria. “how is your day so far? ready to taste the legendary lunch of royal entertainment’s building?” she brings herself to whisper then. “actually, it’s not that great, please don’t get your hopes up”

[rkhailey-blog]

( txt: ma boo ) i do?  ㅋㅋㅋ  but you like unnie like this, right?  ( txt: ma boo ) i’m sure you’re gonna do just fine! you’re so strong and determined, my baby hara~~  ( txt: ma boo ) he is... a bit.... but even so, he liked you! ( txt: ma boo ) ahhh @@ did you dance? the dance for that song is so hard! TT ( txt: ma boo ) you should’ve told me! i would’ve sent you funny texts~ since unnie is so funny  ㅋㅋㅋ ( txt: ma boo ) it’s good that you have your auntie TT ( txt: ma boo ) i’m proud of you for having the courage! it’s not weird at all. i had to break free from mine a bit too, right? you’re not doing anything wrong if you’re chasing your dreams ( txt: ma boo ) they may not understand it, but i’m sure you’ll receive a lot of support. you have your auntie, me, and i bet a lot of trainees here at royal will give you lots of love! ( txt: ma boo ) if you need anything, unnie is here, okay?  ( txt: ma boo ) i’ve got you!

( sms: ♡hailey ) unnie~~~~ you sound like an overenthusiastic mother who’d smother her kids with kisses outside the high school gates~~~!!! x.x ( sms: ♡hailey ) okay okay i will do my best!! always and forever!! ( sms: ♡hailey ) yeeeesss he’s really scary so i didn’t look at him more than once…. heh ( sms: ♡hailey ) yeah ; u ; ( sms: ♡hailey ) their debut song, of course~ ( sms: ♡hailey ) it was so scary though i thought i was going to die but i just danced and that was it i think i would’ve failed with any other dance really ( sms: ♡hailey ) i don’t think my parents will be happy haha but i talked to auntie and she helped sign the contract for me so ( sms: ♡hailey ) i might… try call my mother tomorrow and just… pray?? ( sms: ♡hailey ) i think i’m going to break free of them, unnie ( sms: ♡hailey ) ah, i’m sorry. i’ve been crying a lot, deleted! i don’t mean to sound weird haha. 

[rkhailey-blog]

hani being weird for anon

[rkhailey-blog]

 seulgirk:

Feeling the other take her arm, Seulgi smiled, not minding one bit.  “I have ice skated before…” she laughs softly.  “I like it a lot, but I will admit that I’m not the best at it.  Don’t be surprised if I try to hold onto you.” she grinned.  “I won’t blame you if you let me fall though, just so you know, so don’t worry too much about it.  It isn’t quite dancing, I was hoping some skills might carry over.” she joked, shaking her head. This was definitely something she needed what with the failed audition she had earlier in the week. 

hailey is feeling a bit pressured as she looks to the other female, smiling away any awkwardness. it’s solely because she promised when she met seulgi that she would reward her. this is her reward somehow, and hailey really hopes she’s going to be capable to give the younger a nice time. and for that, the trainee is feeling a bit anxious for god knows she has a gift to make things take unexpected turns. she just wishes that seulgi sees it not as something bothersome, but as something funny. the brunette doesn’t know what to expect since they didn’t talk a lot until the day - only missed texts here and there and a phone call to set the date for their... well, date? she hasn’t thought of how much it looked like a date until now and hailey feels her face getting hot. she wouldn’t want seulgi to think that she took advantage of what she owned her to ask her on a date - though realistically, few korean women would consider going out with another female, even if a bit unknown, a date. 

deciding to drop the subject, she turned her face back to the high school student, her smile sweet just as their beverages. at least the beverages she did right. hailey chuckles at her remark, raising her eyebrows when answering. “i know, right?” there’s a teasing, playful tone on her tongue and she pokes seulgi ribs with her fingers, trying to take a laugh out of her. hailey smiles and then takes another sip of her coffee, nodding vehemently. “it is really pretty!” and then she sighs dreamily. “i really love christmas time. it can be cold outside, but everything is so colorful and everyone’s so warm”

with her arm wrapped around the other’s, hailey makes her way through the small crowd in the festival. she’s smiling but then her face started to become theatrically terrified. “oh, dear” she whispers in her best horrified voice. “we may have a problem” the girl then stopped, pulling seulgi close as if she’s going to tell her a very disturbing secret. “i... am a terrible ice skater” she whispers to her ear and shakes her head, speaking in a clear voice now. “what do we do? i think we’re doomed” but then, hailey comes to her normal self again, looking curious as a five year old. “are you a dancer?”

icy xmas.

[rkhailey-blog]

Lost & Found ϟ AH & SH

rkhyelin:

“Today is the day, it is the first expedition of exploring this unknown territory called Seoul. Everything is new and terrifying yet I’ll make this journey alive…I hope..this is first step to adulthood.” The girl mindless mumble to herself as she was main character of some movie or k-drama, maybe in the future it could be yet for now it seem that she has lost her way. 

The map on her phone was unavailable due to inconvenient time of battery dying out on her. Mindless walking the street in a district god know what everything was confusing not sure where to go and the people seem so busy with their own lives to even bother to help the young girl. If anything couldn’t get any worse, the amazing autumn weather decide to pour down. Hyelin has officially become the lost wet puppy not sure where to go and unbelievably lost any hope at all. 

No phone to call her university, looks like she sleeping out in the streets if can’t find her way home. The sad looking puppy face girl decided to sit on the curb completely drenched from the rain, she needed a miracle to save her now. Was there anyone can help this lost pup and take her home??

hailey has her umbrella clutched on her hand and she looks up to the stormy skies, shivering slightly. maybe she shouldn’t have left royal to eat out in that day, she thinks, maybe she should’ve gone with the usual cafeteria snack. or even, hailey could skip the meal altogether. it’s not like she hasn’t been doing so in the past weeks. however, the trainee really craves for a hot meal and she knows very well that she isn’t finding anything satisfying within her company walls. so now she makes her way through the gloomy streets, wary of the cars that could splash water on her. the restaurant is near and she can feel her stomach grumbling already, making her forget about the reasons why she skipped meals.

however, as she turns on the corner and gets to another street, far from the principal one, her eyes rest upon a drenched girl. hailey stops on her tracks and there is something about the other that suggests that she isn’t very happy about her situation. she looks around, hesitating and wondering whether she should talk to the other female or not. after half a minute, the trainee approaches her with careful steps, scared to let her drenched in the cold for any longer. she steps close enough to cover the smaller girl with her umbrella and cleared her throat.

“hey” she smiles. “uh... do you need any help?” hailey offers gently, tilting her head.

[rkhailey-blog]

it’s been some time since she was out of royal entertainment to do anything else than to sleep or eat. it’s been even longer she went out with someone that had no other relation to her company than being friends with a person from there. it feels weird and new and hailey feels a bit awkward, as if she could have lost her social skills now that she doesn’t use them as often. but seulgi seems to be nothing but nice. well, how couldn’t she? she took in vivaldi and fed him - and then listened to hailey desperate and happy sounds through the phone and helped her to calm her down when she came to get the cat back. if you help kitties on the streets, there is absolutely no way you’re not an amazing person at least. 

she shakes her head, eyes disappearing behind her smiles when seulgi apologizes. “no, it’s nothing!” hailey mirrors her laugh and happily gives her the cup with hot chocolate, wrapping her own with her hands and taking a sip. it’s still deliciously hot and the older can’t help but to smile. she used to hate coffee when she was younger, the taste too bitter for her childish taste buds. but as hailey reached high school and her schedule was packed with regular classes, dance classes, singing classes, instrument classes, caffeine became a necessary evil for her to be able to go through her days. and now, seeing how she sleeps three to four hours a day, the brunette isn’t able to function without coffee and hailey grew to like the taste. 

“mhmm, not long” hailey shakes her head, looking up to the christmas lights, wondering. she’s been waiting for fifteen minutes at most. it was cold, but she doesn’t feel like telling seulgi and worrying her. “i’m okay!” she says, wrapping an arm around hers and smiling widely. “let’s go!” a giggle falls from her lips and she guides seulgi towards the entrance. “have you ever ice skated? do you like it?”

icy xmas.

[rkhailey-blog]

plot call!

hello all of you my darlings!

so, i’m really short on plots for hailey right now and she’s a social butterfly, she needs to interact with people to liv E. this is a plot call for literally any kind of plot, though i prefer pre-established bc hailey is a trainee and doesn’t have a lot of time. so YE! like this post if you want to plot with miss sunshine here and i’ll shoot you a message <3

[rkhailey-blog]

icy xmas.

( seulgirk ) 

hailey stands in front of the christmas tree which marks the entrance to the festival, warm cups on her hands and jaw trembling, teeth clashing together. it was already late and hailey forgot to pack an extra layer, failing to predict the cold breeze that was blowing on her face. she wishes her company for the night could make it soon, so she could finally warm herself with one of the drink she has in hands. her face is partially hidden by the scarf she’s wearing and her chin is buried on the soft fabric. she would usually stay at royal in a day like this, but she needed a distraction aside the crazy training she’s been on lately. 

the trainee offered to treat a girl and she loved the idea of the festival, so hailey just assumed it was the perfect opportunity. seulgi, as she came to know, rescued her cat from the cold streets one night and gave him back to hailey in safety. therefore, hailey can possibly never stop thanking her - and such a good feat must be rewarded. so she called the other female a few days ago and they decided to meet. the older has been spending so many extra time in royal - for no reason since she’s not participating in the gayos - that she saw no problem in cutting her instrument classes for the day. 

she is about to try to look at her clock - and consequently spill one of the drinks on herself - when hailey sees seulgi coming. “here!” she cries, holding up her drinks and swallowing her cold. “i’m so glad you could make it!” hailey says, a bright smile on her face. “i didn’t know if you’d prefer coffee or hot chocolate, then i got both!” she pushes the cups towards the younger. “i’ll have the second choice”

[rkhailey-blog]

( txt: ma boo ) AHHHHH!!! ( txt: ma boo ) shhh nothing you don’t deserve ( txt: ma boo ) you’re already lovely!!! you will become 100x lovelier and everyone will love u  ( txt: ma boo ) they better ( txt: ma boo ) i really really really think you can! it’s a lot of work but it can also be fun and i saw how much you want this and THAT is very important! ( txt: ma boo ) ohhhhh OH MY GOD THAT’S SO COOL  ( txt: ma boo ) WERE SO JI SUB THERE?  ( txt: ma boo ) OH MY GOD ( txt: ma boo ) what song??  ( txt: ma boo ) ahhhhhh i will i will i promise!

( sms: ♡hailey ) ❀.(*´◡`*)❀. ( sms: ♡hailey ) thank you unnie you are too kind too me ( sms: ♡hailey ) i’m not that great but i will try my best to become as lovely as you say i am ( sms: ♡hailey ) do you really think i can…? i’m still so worried about disappointing people… deleted! ( sms: ♡hailey ) um i um did an interview with starbright??? and then royal picked me for an audition and??? that’s it???  ( sms: ♡hailey ) oh i danced to chi chi of course hehe ( sms: ♡hailey ) unnie is the best sunbae please look after me  ♡ ♡ ♡

[rkhailey-blog]

( sms: ♡hailey ) unnie... ( sms: ♡hailey ) i've been accepted.... into royal entertainment.... ( sms: ♡hailey ) i can't believe it im sorry i didn't tell i auditioned but i did and i cant believe it ( sms: ♡hailey ) they liked me someone actually liked me ( sms: ♡hailey ) yeah you like me and jonghyun likes me and others but they liked me i can't believe it ( sms: ♡hailey ) what do i do?

( txt: ma boo ) yes yes my lovely? ( txt: ma boo ) wH A T ??? ???? ??( txt: ma boo ) Oh My God( txt: ma boo ) I AM SO PROUD OF YOU KJSDNA YOU’RE SO GREAT OF COURSE YOU GOT IN LOOK AT YOU OH MY GOD AEGI( txt: ma boo ) of course we like you, of course they liked you!!! you’re the loveliest!!!( txt: ma boo ) you can do whatever you like, my dear! it’s your choice!( txt: ma boo ) if you choose to accept I Vow To Care For You As Your Sunbae( txt: ma boo ) BUT TELL ME HOW YOU GOT IN TELL ME //EVERYTHING//

[rkhailey-blog]

[ sms; heeyeonie ] i'd endure the weight of the whole world for you, silly heeyeonie.

( sms: oppa ) i’m really blushing right now, oppa ( sms: oppa ) heeyeonie loves you~ ( sms: oppa ) ah, oppa! what do you want for christmas? ( sms: oppa ) you can’t sing mariah carey’s song!