sadgethethird

[sadgethethird]

Why am I getting worse

[sadgethethird]

It dosent truly matter if it's a genuine skill regression or something else. I'm being nit picky. Everyone deserves support no matter what their situation is.

And this is just my opinion! It's based off my and people I knows experiences! I might be actually incredibly wrong about this! But I don't care! I'm putting it out here!

Also PLEASE do not follow this blog for autism content. This is a vent blog. I just wanted to rant

Okay no actually kinda controversial take but I think the vast majority of autistic skill regressions aren't actual skill regressions and are instead the result of burnout/unmasking/overstimulation etc

[sadgethethird]

Say someone used to be able to brush their teeth without any help but then stopped being able to complete that task even with prompting (happened to me when I was younger)

Maybe they just lost the skill. Simple as that. Or maybe

Maybe they fell into burnout, the amount of energy and stability it takes them to brush their teeth is an amount they just no longer have

Maybe they've started masking less, stopped forcing themselves into difficult and overwhelming situations. And because of that it appears they can't brush their teeth anymore.

Maybe they have been dealing with a lot more in their life lately, and its taking everything within them to to meltdown/shutdown. Meaning they have nothing left to put towards brushing their teeth

Okay no actually kinda controversial take but I think the vast majority of autistic skill regressions aren't actual skill regressions and are instead the result of burnout/unmasking/overstimulation etc

[sadgethethird]

Like there definitely are autistics who experience genuine skill regressions but

But I feel a lot of the time these skill regressions aren't autistics losing the skill but instead no longer having what they needed originally to apply that skill

From burnout from unmasking from being overstimulated or overwhelmed

Okay no actually kinda controversial take but I think the vast majority of autistic skill regressions aren't actual skill regressions and are instead the result of burnout/unmasking/overstimulation etc

[sadgethethird]

Okay no actually kinda controversial take but I think the vast majority of autistic skill regressions aren't actual skill regressions and are instead the result of burnout/unmasking/overstimulation etc

[sadgethethird]

Experiencing a hashtag #autistic skill regression

[sadgethethird]

Wawawawawawawa

[sadgethethird]

Hello, I'm terribly sorry to bother but I've got a question/request if you'd be up to answering

Can I ask about your experiences with dpd? I'm questioning if I have it and would like to hear others experiences with it to better understand it

This ask is completely /nf (not forcing a reply) and I don't expect much

If at all possible could you tag @sadgethethird when answering if you do answer? Though I would not recommend going on that blog as it is my vent blog.

Thank you so much for reading this and I truly appreciate any response

I'm happy to answer that, yes! @sadgethethird

For me, the discovery of having DPD has been a complex process, since there was a period of time where I thought I had it and was diagnosed by a therapist, then was convinced by both another therapist and a DP that I didn't have it (both of these people turned out to be less trustworthy than initially thought), but then some events happened and I discovered that DPD was the most likely explanation for how I reacted to them, which my current (more trustworthy) therapist agrees with.

When I initially started questioning if I had DPD, I was disabled and living with my family, but people expected me to eventually become more independent, which I never felt as though I could really do on my own. (I am now living somewhat independently, but not quite as much so as my family hoped I would; I can talk a little more about how that interacts with my DPD if you would like me to.)

I started learning about DPD when I started making more neurodivergent and persodivergent friends online, particularly a friend who thought he had DPD at the time but later concluded he more likely had BPD and not DPD. (For my part, I later discovered that I have BPD too, or that my brain does, but I'm a system, and the alter responding to your message does not have BPD symptoms, only DPD and possibly AVPD symptoms. I can talk more about that if you'd like, too.)

The concept of a "depended person" - someone a person with DPD looks to for guidance, wants to make decisions for them, etc. - seemed accurate in some respects to how I felt about my adoptive family (the ones with whom I was living at the time). I also had two friends at the time who I called DPs due to my strong attachment to them, but I think it was more likely that they were FPs, since I did not have the sense that I wanted them to make decisions for me (but I also didn't realize I had BPD).

My current situation is that my partner is my DP, but due to a variety of reasons (the long-distance nature of the relationship being a large one), I do not feel like they can take care of me the way past DPs have. This is something I am currently working to find a solution to, although I'm having a very hard time with it.

Here are some other DPD experiences I have or know about that might be helpful to figuring out if you have the disorder:

Difficulty initiating everyday tasks (e.g. cooking, cleaning, etc.), where there is a sense of anxiety surrounding the task because you can't do it or aren't good at it.

Overall fear of not being good enough at things, and often not trying to do them at all as a result. This can even include failure to engage with interests, especially if you have to be active in your engagement with them somehow or there's some element of skill or memorization.

Perception of other people as inherently more powerful than you in some respect.

A difficult relationship overall to the concept of "power"; it's hard to explain, because this exact thing isn't a clinically-described symptom, but for me, when talking to people without DPD about my concepts of power - where it comes from, who has it, how people develop it, how easy it is to remove power imbalances from situations, etc. - they seem to think my ideas about power are unusual, and it's most likely because of the disorder.

A desire to be taken care of by others, especially in a romantic/intimate relationship. Some people with DPD at first attribute this tendency to preferring certain relationship dynamics, and it would be valid of them to say they do prefer those dynamics. However, unlike someone who likes behaving a certain way in a relationship, a person with DPD will often experience a certain type of anxiety, unfulfilment, or distress over not having a relationship like that than somebody would if they wanted it for non-disordered reasons.

A lack of life direction and a desire for others to determine your life direction for you. I struggled somewhat with higher education because of this symptom, and while I have multiple degrees, I don't use them and am on government benefits. While I am indeed disabled (outside of my DPD and including physical disability), part of what led to my current situation was an inability to figure out a life direction and a partner who basically actively discouraged me from pursuing any life direction other than being his partner.

Fears of being abandoned, especially by your DP. I don't experience this as much, because I usually fully trust my DPs, but my therapist says that people with DPD tend to idealize their DPs, and my trust in my DPs (especially when that trust has not always been warranted in the past) is likely a part of that. However, some people with DPD are capable of distrusting their DPs, to the point where even hearing about their DPs other friends can make the person with DPD uncomfortable.

Separation anxiety from one's DP. The DSM describes this anxiety as caused by fears that one cannot take care of oneself, but separation anxiety can also entail fears that the person is gone because they have abandoned you, worrying about the person's wellbeing because you don't know what they're doing, and feeling unsafe without that person.

I know this was quite a lot of information, but I wanted you to have more rather than less of it in this response. There's so little discussion of DPD out there, and I'm happy to contribute to there being more of it.

If anybody has any more questions about DPD for me, please feel free to ask them. There are a few situations I have gotten into involving my DPD that I do not talk about publicly, so I may have to talk around some things depending on what questions I am asked, but I will try to respond in a way that would be helpful to someone trying to understand either how to live with the order or how to interact with someone who has it.

[sadgethethird]

Reasons an FP/anyone may not have replied to you yet

I know that a lot of us with BPD- and other disorders such as anxiety, DPD, paranoia etc- can get really worried when those we care about don’t reply- or anyone! We worry they hate us, are angry, are leaving us, are hurt. So, here’s a list of possible reasons why they may not be replying that aren’t those! 

They’re asleep. This is kinda subjective to the time they’re in, but this included naps! Sometimes people fall asleep suddenly, or fall asleep before your reply

They’re busy. They made need to focus on something, or not be allowed on their phone. Or, they want to save their reply to you for when they can put their full attention on you and give a proper reply

They’re unsure how to reply yet. sometimes people need time to think of how to reply, and want to give a proper one

They don’t feel like talking to anyone right now. It’s not that they don’t wanna talk to you specifically- they may just be socially drained or want to focus on themselves! 

They’re not in a mental place where they can reply to you. This includes perhaps they’re dissociating, or can’t think straight to reply 

Their phone is dead. Plain and simple

Their wifi dropped. Same again 

They’re taking pleasure time. Video games, reading anything. Sometimes people need time to relax- it doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy talking to you, they just wanna fully immerse themselves in their activity.

They’re interacting with someone/in a situation where it’s not appropriate to use their phone. Maybe at dinner, church, a lesson, anything

They suddenly have to deal with something urgent.

They forgot. I know this one is scary/hurts- but it doesn’t mean you’re not important to them! Maybe they saw your message whilst busy, thought they need to reply later, then forgot. Some people also have memory issues that mean they forget to reply to things.

They’re not logged into what you talk in. This goes esp for facebook/tumblr

They havn’t got your message. This can be for lots of reasons! Bad connection, app is broken, phone is slow, anything like that

[sadgethethird]

I sent asks to like 4 blogs about experiences with dpd and I feel like someone is going to shoot me for it

[sadgethethird]

Why am I getting worse

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All my friends are getting worse (mental health wise, they are all lovely people) and I really want to support them but like I'm getting worse too 😭😭

[sadgethethird]

Summer depression is so last year, all my friends into winter psychosis

[sadgethethird]

I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you

[sadgethethird]

Give it to me

[sadgethethird]

I need to take their suffering away

[sadgethethird]

They shouldn't. They don't deserve it