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Your future self is hating you for the poor decisions you’re making today.

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proud moment dec 2022

I applied for an international internship that I felt underqualified for. I am proud I dared to and will carry this curious optimism into 2023 regardless of the result. Always try.

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Today's Job Market: Breaking In

In an age where Bachelor's degrees are as impressive as high school diplomas, and even a Master's does not guarantee an interview, what is it that employers are looking for?

The answer is - experience.

Experience is your most valuable asset when you are applying for a highly contested role.

Consider, if every candidate who applies for a position is required to have a 2.1 or higher how are employers meant to distinguish one 2.1 business graduate from another?

Experience not only shows you have a clear understanding of the industry you are entering, it shows that other organisations in your industry have seen enough potential in you to offer you a position, albeit temporarily.

The issue is the job market is more competitive than ever. Many people struggle to secure internships at top firms and that is because nowadays you need some level of work experience to even secure an internship, especially at top firms.

So, what do you do when you have no experience and the odds of you securing an internship are slim?

Unpaid/volunteer work. It is the best way to gain all the skills and experience you need to help your application stand out.

Volunteering as a committee member for a social enterprise or society shows a level of tenacity and initiative that is appealing to employers.

Unpaid internships or work experience in your industry can also award you with connections and the commercial awareness to help solidify yourself as a stellar candidate.

Unfortunately, many people don't have the means to take on long periods of unpaid employment.

This is where your communication skills come into play. Working customer service, retail, cleaning jobs etc all come with transferable skills which, when clearly communicated, can make up for a lack in industry experience, especially when you are still a student.

Another thing to note is that you don't always need to look for experience in your desired career. If you are an aspiring a solicitor, you can also get experience as a paralegal. If you are an aspiring journalist, you can gain experience as a copywriter.

As long as you can get some sort of experience in your desired field, you can still develop an understanding of your industry and the necessary skills that you need to demonstrate to recruiters.

General Tips

1. At the end of the day, making your experience work for you is the key. Companies will tell you in their job descriptions and person descriptions what your position will involve and what skills they require from you. Find a way to make the experience you have fit what they are asking for. Use their words against them - make it clear that you are what they want.

2. When applying for internships, traineeships and work experience, make it clear what your learning needs are. How can this company and position support you in bolstering your career and why should they care about your career progression?

3. Know your stuff. Do your research on the company and the specific department you would be working in. Not irrelevant information like the year it was founded but what direction the company is heading down, their 10 year plan, how your role would fit into it and what expertise you have that can support their plans.

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Please stop attacking the past versions of you. They were doing their best at the time and they got you here. It’s amazing how much progress you’ve made and how much you’ve grown but please don’t think your past self lacked worth in any way.

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Hello! [Update Nov 2022]

What happened? I was quite depressed during the summer semester and failed most of my academic, social and other goals which, in that mindset, meant that since I clearly couldn't hack it as functional and productive member of society, I had no chance as a social climber. Ergo, this blog went into an unexpected ice age since interacting with it would have meant confronting yet another failure.

This is the first time I've logged in since May and I'm not sure what role this blog can play in my life? I'm rather happy now and back to working on improving life in small, tangible, immediate, ordinary ways.

In that light, these former imaginings and ambitions now seem like hubris and delusion. The gap between myself and other competent ladies seems even larger now? As if we were in a race that I got knocked out of, so now I stand watching from the sidelines. Of course, everyone is running their own race and self-pity is useless and unnecessary so is this even a correct analogy... And so on and so forth. I will have to ponder on this.

Right now, I'm focused on getting back on track, undoing the damage and maintaining this happy-go-lucky emotional state that I stumbled into. What would it look like to pursue this goal sustainably? Or should I just change this blog into an average uni girl's diary? I don't know yet and I'm scared of risking the peace of mind I have to find out.

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Balance: Academics vs. Social Game Plan

My academic advisor let me know that it would behoove me to graduate as soon as possible (given my unique academic history). His recommendation was crystal clear which effectively means that I will have to complete double the course load for the foreseeable future. It would even be manageable if it wasn't for my social commitments, namely:

The women's club which has so far embraced me but also gently let me know that now is the time to prove myself (with implied medium term advancement options)? My position as student union president managing the different projects? My burgeoning commitments to climbing and ballet including the attached social groups? My course friends and widening social circle? Family? Nevermind the time I need to invest in my appearance.

The fear of opportunity cost has got the best of me. My perfectionist, all-or-nothing brain is broken. I am working my way back fully aware that time waits for no one. This is just hard in a way that I haven't experienced before (as a former loner with no hobbies). I'm out here googling "having a social life in college" and "being a socialite" and trying to min-max relationships while also giving the best of me because I would hate to become an inauthentic taker, lol.

Giving up or compromising preemptively is not an option. I'll get there, I just hope it doesn't take too long. Leveling up is a process. I'm like a pokemon trying hard to reach the next evolution. It's going to happen. >:)

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The women's club accepted me!

Subject: Interested in Becoming a [women's club] Member

Dear XXX,

my name is XXX XXX and I am a student at the University of XXX. After learning of the [club name]'s ethos, remarkable history (congratulations on XXX!), [compliment on structure] and philanthropic work, I became interested in joining and would like to inquire for more information.

The XXX exemplifies admirable aspects of American social and service clubs by combining international, female friendship and mutual understanding with service and shared interests. I understand that building and sustaining a community like yours requires intention, passion, and commitment of its members and hope to contribute in kind.

Currently, I am a member of the XXX's student union (fachschaft) and the Friends of the [arts organization], volunteered as a tutor for children with [XXX] and am in the process of joining the German Red Cross. In my free time, I also enjoy sports climbing, ballet and reading.

I hope I could give you a quick impression and look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,

XXX

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Final March Update: Calm Waters.

- wrote my last test yesterday

- became my course's student union president

- completed my tennis course and am now an "advanced beginner"

As you can see, March ended calmly because the last exam required most of my capacity. Now I'm leaning into calmer days and tentatively planning my next semester and social calender. A day or two to recover and reflect seems reasonable. The chance to improve my plans with the lessons I've learned before new obligations narrow my vision is precious. I will utilize it to the best of my ability without letting myself become complacent. In this moment, I feel hopeful. :)

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Parable of the Animal World/Antidote to Comparison

There are all kinds of animals in the animal world.

Is a tiger happier than a crane? No, that's a nonsensical question. Their happiness cannot be compared.

Is a tiger's happiness the same as a crane's happiness? Also no.

We are unique animals with unique appetites. What's the point of comparison? Personally, I am partial to cats and will employ cat adaptability to find a cat paradise while understanding and supporting other animals in their particular paths.

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Subject: Interested in Becoming a [women's club] Member

Dear XXX,

my name is XXX XXX and I am a student at the University of XXX. After learning of the [club name]'s ethos, remarkable history (congratulations on XXX!), [compliment on structure] and philanthropic work, I became interested in joining and would like to inquire for more information.

The XXX exemplifies admirable aspects of American social and service clubs by combining international, female friendship and mutual understanding with service and shared interests. I understand that building and sustaining a community like yours requires intention, passion, and commitment of its members and hope to contribute in kind.

Currently, I am a member of the XXX's student union (fachschaft) and the Friends of the [arts organization], volunteered as a tutor for children with [XXX] and am in the process of joining the German Red Cross. In my free time, I also enjoy sports climbing, ballet and reading.

I hope I could give you a quick impression and look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,

XXX

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THIS IS GOING TO WORK. I WILL MAKE IT WORK. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

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Mid-March Update: Infant Steps...

- attended a synagoge service after being invited by my ballet teacher

- attended a theater show and am now in a whatsapp group with fellow young art supporters

- got invited to a small meet after an exam and invited two other people like the social caterpillar I am

- wrote one exam, only one more to go

- my librarian likes me and now gives me a heads-up on book sales around the city

- emailed the Red Cross leader that I've decided to fully join them after observing them and will complete courses to become a certified first responder

- read Byron's "The Old Money Book" and White's "Simply Irresistable" (tl;dr: Become your best self, embrace (some) socially conservative values, figure out your seduction style and perfect it)

I can't say that I'm satisfied because there was no structure or follow-through. Introspection helped me uncover some origins of my difficulties and understand some of my internal processes. Still, my inconsistency undermines the progress I've made which feels like a waste to me.

It's clear that I've accumulated enough theoretical knowledge and further research would just be a delaying tactic. After all, there is no one resource that will lead someone in my exact position to success. Instead, it's about applying all the little tricks consecutively, simultaneously and maintaining it until they become second nature. Simple examples: Improving my time management until I can actually attend all the events open to me instead of missing opportunities, figuring out a budget and picking hobbies/events accordingly, create a style uniform for ease and efficiency, etc. All fundamentally basic skills and yet...

I don't truly know why I act in certain patterns and exhibit certain behaviors. This process of self-discovery will take time and as I uncover each underlying mechanism and tailor my approach accordingly, my actions will become more consistent and more effective. I believe that.

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girls be like “i’m not gonna make it” and then make it

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february update: academics and books

Finals season had me in its grip but I've emerged to see another day!

Sports network

- mostly maintained ballet and climbing; my climbing instructor called my progress impressive, yay!, the meet-ups haven't happened yet - tennis: went to every lesson, bought a tennis racket, getting along superbly with my fellow tennis students and learning their stories, improving my eye-hand-coordination and stamina, my God

- kept texting my two climbing acquaintances and got invited by both of them (the man's invitation kind of sounded like a date and was preceded by flirting, my february goal) but declined because I was stressed, time-pressed and also broke. Not ideal but it's practice?

Volunteering/extra-curricular network

- attended two volunteer meetings - attended a digital book club meeting of a literary salon that I joined this year Uni network

- proud member of two solid, small but mighty friend groups (woo!) - passed my French final and am now proudly A1-certified - talked to/texted four new course mates and got curved by two of them; oh well, let's see if I can befriend them when lectures start again - went out with friend group A and strengthened my association with the upper class kid (no longer insecure and able to converse enjoyably without a third person buffer, that's so much inner progress) - had lunch with my social butterfly course mate and invested in that friendship (lovely guy!) - chatted with an unknown student in the library and exchanged numbers and promise to connect sometime Conclusion: I can talk to single people and very small groups quite easily at this point, indeed, my social skills are now level 2! The next level is improving follow-up and engineering reconnection.

Self-improvement

- finals season: 5 exams in the last two weeks and I feel great about 4 of them! my study habits improved, social media use decreased but measured, self-controlled browsing is still a struggle - intense research into and conversation about the role of humanism in the upper-class habitus, will compose a post on it The preview: The German 20th century is mostly non-existent when it comes to laudable ideals (that weren't resistance-related) and much of its elite fled national socialism. Therefore, Germans often look to the 19th century and specifically, the humanist, education reformer Wilhelm von Humboldt, a noble renaissance man who believed in the value of the classic education. Since the financial elite is comparatively unsuccessful (or just invisible to me as a pleb), conspicuous consumption is derided and overt luxury often viewed unfavourably, intellectual, educational markers became a way to distinguish oneself through: the humanist education of the bildungsbürgertum (historically, the intellectual elite).

[Note from the editor: This is the perspective of someone outside of the club, so to speak, and as such consists mostly of research, second-hand anecdotes, hypotheses and/or conjectures. My theory is sadly incomplete until I have the experience to prove it.] I read an engrossing sociology book on how schooling in Latin and ancient Greek lessons vs. English and French have been employed as distinguishing mechanisms (now that a degree has become standard) with further notes on the relevant lifestyles/habitus' and their strategies. Since language and 'knowledge' courses are free at uni and I am, in fact, a broke student, I am strategizing on how I can best adopt this background as my own with the available resources. The scope is overwhelming but I remain fascinated. - finished or currently reading: Dostoevsky "The Player", Kafka "The Burrow", Volckmer "The Appointment", bell hooks "All About Love", Auchincloss "Her Infinite Variety", Wittenborn "The Social Climber's Bible" (tumblr recommendation)

- my diet suffered because I made the choice to ignore my diet while studying. I don't regret but now it's a priority again so back to basics I wanted to flirt and I did! I think someone asked me out. Unfortunately, I had zero interest in him and the date he was proposing.

Reflection: I accomplished less this month and made my peace with that. Trying to maintain separate schedules concurrently during finals drove me insane which means that I'm just not there yet and that's okay. I'll get there.

My focus in March is - GETTING HOTTER, i.e. going jogging and doing pilates at least once weekly, getting my diet back on track and creating my spring look, - having a bouldering meet with friend group A, charming my sports courses after this period of distraction, possibly meeting with friend group B, - doing further sociology research, practicing french, doing business-related research, figuring out my humanist education crash course, - reading Meier's "Modern Etiquette Made Easy", Byron's "The Old Money Book", Griffin's "Book of the Courtesans", White's "Simply Irresistable" (tumblr recommendations) and applying them, - maintaining this study schedule and increasing my work capacity, studying ahead in two upcoming subject courses, finishing strong in my last two exams! With everyone enjoying their holidays, regular meetings have greatly diminished which makes this "hibernation" an ideal opportunity to revamp my look and rejoin as my new and improved self. Updates will also be more regular from now on. :)