spacesapphi - Tumblr blog

spacesapphi · 3 months ago

Text

"Moving Forward Spiraling Downward Epilogue- Moving Forward"

WOW I have never been so emotional over uploading something in my life. This fic has been with me since August of last year, and I've met so many great people through writing it. Finishing this is very bittersweet, but I'm happy to have completed such a big project. Thank you all for sticking with me, and thank you for reading.

Summary: Years after the Flower Dance, we get a glimpse into a day of Shane's life, seeing just how much he's grown, and how much has changed with time. Nothing is the same anymore, but that can be a good thing, can it?

AO3 Version Here

Tumblr Version below the cut

As time passed on and seasons changed, so did the lives of everyone in that little town hidden away in the valley. Through the years, it had changed into something much better than it had ever been. Love bloomed, the town grew, the community grew closer, and all seemed well. There were hard days, days where one would just want to cry and hide away from it all. But they were vastly outnumbered by the good days, the ones that gave you such a desire for life. This particular day was one of those good ones, one of the very best in fact.

In the middle of a particularly harsh and cold winter, the valley was blanketed in ice and snow that would chill you to the bone. The conditions were harsh, just enough to deter any soul from thinking of stepping out. But just outside the expanse of Cindersap was that little red-roofed ranch, filled with warmth and laughter despite the dreary conditions outdoors. The holidays had rolled around once more, and once again, and nearly every surface in the home was decorated to its absolute limit. It was a wonder that Marnie still had decorations to spare after all was said and done.

A pleasant smell was wafting through the kitchen, one that was sickeningly sweet. A comfortable warmth from the oven accompanied it, as well as the adorable scene of Marnie and Jas working on Christmas cookies side by side. The counters were full of cooling racks and festive cardboard boxes full of tissue paper and cooled cookies. Jas, now tall enough to no longer need the little step-stool she’d relied on in the years before, cut out little shapes in dough while Marnie filled the cooling trays. The treats looked absolutely perfect, like something straight out of a magazine! Marnie knew they were going to be just perfect for the yearly swap she did with the ladies in town… if there were even any left to give them after today.

Shane stood right by the counter, observing the pair as they worked on. When he was confident they weren’t watching, he not-so-secretly snagged a cookie from the cooling tray and took a quick bite from it. Jas snapped her head to the side, immediately noticing what he’d done, giving him a cross look, “Papa, stop!”

“Stop what?” Shane asked, feigning innocence. Jas motioned dramatically to the half eaten cookie in his hand, “You keep stealin’ em, we’re not gonna have any left!”

Shane stared at her for just a moment before speaking, continuing to feign ignorance. He made an expression of mock offense, exaggerating it greatly, “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” he took another bite and finished off the treat, speaking with his mouth full, “Honestly I’m kind of offended you would even accuse me of stealin’, Jassy,”

Jas rolled her eyes in annoyance, earning a chuckle from Shane, “I’m messing with you, kiddo,”

“You’re not gonna take anymore, then?” Jas asked, skeptical as ever.

“Nope. Swear on it,” Shane assured her, crossing a finger over his chest.

He then immediately went to reach towards the tray again, getting a swift swat on the hand from Marnie, who looked particularly tired of his antics, “Hands off, these aren’t for you,”

“Who are they for, then? The animals?” Shane joked.

“They’re for the cookie swap, if you must know,” Marnie explained. She tied off a ribbon on one of the boxes and set it to the side, “And I don’t need you taking anymore now, I’ve already got my hands full with a certain someone trying to sneak them,” she turned her attention to the woman sitting in the living room, giving her a cross, knowing look.

“Look, it ain’t fair for Yoba t’ give me a wife who knows how t’ bake just for her to not let me have anythin’!” Pam complained from her spot on the armchair in the living room. She handed Penny a little garland from the bin she held in her lap, pointing to one last little spot on the wall where it could possibly fit.

“You know I’m making some for all of us soon,” Marnie reminded her, a light, playful scold in her voice, “Like I told you, these ones are for the ladies group,”

Pam leaned her elbows on the bin, propping her chin on her hands and batting her eyelashes dramatically, Well I’m a lady, ain’t I?”

“Yoba have mercy,” Marnie muttered under her breath, shaking her head as she turned back to her work. Shane fought to stifle back a laugh, turning his attention back to Marnie, “I’ll get out of your hair, Ma, don’t worry,”

“Thank you,” Marnie mused, a smile on her face.

“Don’t mention it,” Shane beamed, promptly snatching another cookie from the tray, earning another cross look from Marnie.

“Shane Aaron Yoder, don’t make me kick you out of my kitchen,”

“Yoder-Lillis,” he retorted.

“Don’t correct me while I’m correcting you, young man,” she scoffed, the smile on her face betraying the scold of her tone. She just couldn’t help but feel so proud and happy for him everytime she remembered the hyphenated addition to his name, after all.

A little giggle rang out from behind Shane, almost in response to the situation unfolding in the kitchen. He turned to see none other than his beloved spouse standing in the doorway, a little baby sitting in their arms. She was absolutely adorable, dressed in a frilly, vintage little hand-me-down outfit, her curly purple hair pulled into teeny pigtails. Her eyes lit up at the sight of her fathers face, an excitement rising within her as she reached out a little hand in his direction, grasping Möhle’s hair in the other.

“If you’re done with menacing everyone in the kitchen, can you help me here?” Möhle laughed teasingly. They winced as the baby in their arms yanked at their long curls yet again, holding the red strands tight in her chubby little fist as she giggled away. Shane gently took her from her other parents arms, doing his best to get her to let go of their hair, though she wouldn’t give up without a fuss.

“Come on, Hannah, you know that hurts renny,” he murmured, finally managing to pull the hair away from her. Möhle sighed in relief, wasting no time to grab a hair tie from their pocket and put their hair up and away where Hannah couldn’t reach, “I cannot wait until she’s out of this grabby phase…” they sighed, “Anything she can see she just takes,”

“Must get it from her father,” Marnie joked, earning an eye roll from Shane. He looked back down at his youngest daughter, watching as she grabbed at the mermaid's pendant around his neck, yanking on the charm and admiring the iridescent colors sparkling in the light. Shane pulled it away and tucked it beneath the collar of his sweater for safe-keeping, turning back to his spouse. Möhle gave him an exhausted smile, an almost dazed look in their eye.

“You alright?” he asked, genuine concern in his tone. Möhle waved him off, fighting back a yawn, “Just tired… Haven’t been able to get her to nap still n’ she kept me up all night… again,”

“I can take over some night shifts for you,” Shane offered, “You can always ask for help, Mo,”

“Funny… usually I’m the one telling you that,” they mused, a hint of a laugh in their tone.

Shane pulled them in closer, holding them tight to his side with a goofy grin on his face, “Just lookin’ out for my wonderful, handsome spouse, that’s all,” he gave them a kiss on the cheek, and a quiet laugh erupted from Möhle. They pushed his face away lightly and put a hand to their cheek. Shane raised a brow, giving them a curious and amused expression, “What was that for?”

“Your stubble is prickly, it feels funny,” Möhle laughed.

“Ohhh,” Shane mused, giving them a short nod, “Well that’s too bad,”

He leaned in for another kiss on their cheek, nuzzling his face against theirs. Möhle let out a laugh, smushing their hand against his face as they giggled, “You’re such an ass,” they teased.

“And yet you still married me,”

“I did, didn’t I?” they responded, a smile curling on their mouth. They gave him a little kiss on the nose, “Love you, Rooster,” they whispered.

“Love you too…” Shane murmured back. The two basked in this little moment together, though they’d find it wouldn’t last too long. Möhle felt a little tap on their arm, looking down to see a particularly excited Jas.

“Do you think you could help me with my present now?” she asked in a coy tone, a grin upon her face.

“The jewelry kit?”

“Yeah!” Jas affirmed, her voice growing more excited, “I wanna make something for you!”

“Looks like I’m needed elsewhere, then,” Möhle mused, giving Shane one last tiny kiss on the cheek, turning their attention back to Hannah for just a moment, “Be good for your papa, meisli,”

As the two of them went on their way, Shane and Hannah were left standing in the doorway on their lonesome, Marnie soon leaving the kitchen to stand by them. They looked out at the scene in the living room, just basking in it. It was an adorable scene to be sure. Jas and Möhle were getting along while Pam and Penny worked on the final touches of decorations, all the while sweet and soft holiday music played out. Shane found it heartwarming, almost entirely entranced by the scene until he heard a soft sniffle from his side, one that came from Marnie.

“Ma, are you okay?”

“Ah, I just-” Marnie sniffled, wiping away her tears with her thumb, “I just never thought this would be our family…”, She looked at each individual member of the family, feeling her heart swell with pride, “I can’t believe we have this… “

“... Yeah. Me neither,” Shane mused quietly.

“It’s strange to think that we used to be the only members left in this family,” Marnie began to reminisce to a sadder, darker time, “But look at this…. All of this. This family, it’s thriving, it’s growing… It’s everything I ever wanted,”

She paused for a moment, looking at the framed photos on the wall, at the portraits of people who she wished were sitting with the family more than anything in this world, “Well… almost everything,” she corrected herself.

She turned to look at Shane, smiling softly as she looked at his eyes. Mere years ago they were dull and sad, beholding a wealth of sadness coming from his soul. But they didn’t look like that anymore. They were lively, shining a bright and jovial green. She hadn’t seen that in so long, and almost gave up on ever witnessing it again, never believing it would come to be. She was glad to be wrong for once.

“You know… I see that light again,” she beamed, “The one in your eyes. I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve last seen it,”

Shane smiled bashfully, looking out to the people in front of him with adoration, “Well… I guess I just finally have a reason for it. I spent so much time barely surviving… but I’m living now. I’m happy.”

He looked over to the couch, looking at Möhle sitting there with Jas at their side. They were helping her open one the brand new jewelry making set that she’d been begging for for months now, the one Möhle had gifted her just hours ago. They looked so happy, like that perfect little family he’d always imagined whenever they were all together. But he wasn’t flustered or shy at the thought of it anymore; he was proud. This was his little family, one he could proudly call his own. He never thought he’d have this. A far younger, much more immature Shane would’ve laughed at the idea of even getting married, let alone being a father. But he found that life was funny like that. Even though it was never in the plan, here he was with two wonderful daughters and a loving spouse, a farm that was succeeding, and a town that loved them all. And it wasn’t fate or some supernatural force that had brought it all together. It was him. He found this little family of his on his own, and put in the work to keep it and watch it thrive.

Just five years ago, Shane saw himself as a curse, a blight, on his family. He felt like a misfortune, a mess, something thrust upon good people who deserved much better. But right now, right in this moment, things were different. Shane loved himself, he loved his life, he loved the work he put into growth and change. It had all been worth it, giving him something greater than his imagination could muster. What more could he ask for?

“You two get on in here!” Pam called out, motioning for the two of them to enter the living room, “We’re gettin’ a movie on, come sit down already,”

“Is it Miracle on Coldstar Ranch?” Marnie asked, a glimmer of excitement in her eye. Pam gave her a smirk and nodded curtly, “Damn right it is, now c’mon,”

Marnie was excited as if it were her first time going to see it, regardless of the fact that she’d watched it possibly more than anyone else in the world. She immediately began to make her way over to the couch, Shane trailing close behind. He sat in the last empty spot beside Möhle, passing Hannah back to them before leaning back in his seat, waiting patiently for the old-timey opening credits to end.

He looked up to the wall, scanning over the old photos from past Winter Stars. They ranged through decades, from when Marnie and his mother were girls, all the way up to this very day. Unlike the past, this year's portrait was full, having more people than he ever thought he’d see. His eyes lingered on one particular picture though, the one from the year everything fell apart, the worst year of his life. Even as he smiled in the photo, he looked so terrified and fragile, like he could just shatter at any given moment. There was nothing more that Shane wished for than to go back in time, to look at that scared young man and tell him “It’s all gonna be okay.”. In that moment it was hard not to be afraid, to not just want to give up.

Shane used to hate himself for falling apart like that, often screaming at his past self for not getting up and making things work like he should have. Now, he just wanted to sit with him, hold him tight and tell him about everything that would come to be. He’d have someone who loved him unconditionally, he’d be on a two year sobriety streak, his family would thrive, and he’d have new friends too, good ones. And while they would never and could never replace Jason and Amelia, he loved them just the same, and couldn’t wait to see what new adventures awaited them all.

Things would never be the same. That was something he had grown to accept over the years. It was a fact that was simultaneously so heartbreaking, but also so exciting. It was true that he would never regain what he’d lost, but he’d gain other things in life that would bring him such joy. He’d already gained so much. All that he had in this moment, all that he’d worked towards, all of it was right in front of him in this little room. It was something he never thought he’d want… and something he didn’t think he’d even live to see. But now, he couldn’t imagine his life without it, and he’d never give it up, not for anything in this world.

“Are you alright?” a soft whisper called out. Shane turned his head to the direction of the voice, finding Möhle to be its source. He gave them a smile, one that was genuine and sweet all the same.

“Of course I am,” he affirmed, “I’m just–… I’m happy,”

“Yeah?” Möhle asked, returning the same smile.

Shane nodded in response, “Yeah… Why wouldn’t I be?”

He took their hand in his and held it gently, interlocking his fingers with theirs. The pair turned their attention back to the tv, watching as the opening scene of that classic holiday movie finally began to play, showing a family not much unlike theirs trying to get through their own struggles. Shane had watched it enough times to know that they too would also get through their hardships, just like he had done. It was funny. Once he had thought this movie was depressing, not finding much joy in watching it, nor understanding why his aunt loved it so much. But after all of this time and growth, he finally got it. He could finally see the bigger picture, and what a beautiful picture that was.

As he sat there, basking in the joy of this little celebration, there was only one thing on his mind; a sense of pride. For once in a long while, he was proud of himself and the life he’d made. He wouldn’t change or trade it for anything in the world. It took all that he had to keep going on, and he knew the road ahead was still long and daunting. But all of this here; his spouse, his daughters, his home, his family…. It made it worth it. As hard as all of this was to trudge through, he couldn’t deny that the future was looking bright.

And for the first time in years, he was finally moving forward.

#boostin this🎉

17 notes · View notes