squaredbean

[squaredbean]

this came to me while rewatching last life

[squaredbean]

more of my fake life series teams because apparently some people did want to hear about them

The Fairy Mound (Lizzie, Ren, Bdubs, Pearl, Mumbo)

Ren and Lizzie meet on a hill in a dark oak forest and begin to reminisce about the Fairy Fort as Bdubs and Pearl are being nosey and eavesdropping. Upon hearing Ren refer to Lizzie as his Queen, Bdubs demands that Ren and Lizzie duel to see who the superior monarch is. They refuse (Ren out of loyalty and Lizzie out of disgust at Bdubs’ lack of manners) and Pearl says that they should hold a democratic election instead. Bdubs struggles with the moral conundrum of choosing between two very good friends of his and votes for Mumbo, who just happens to be passing by. The others all switch their votes to Mumbo for the bit. Everyone is okay with this, except Mumbo, who starts having war flashbacks and feels strangely compelled to build a robot. They all switch their skins to Mumbo for Mayor shirts and Bdubs spends most of the season regretting his decisions.

The Arsonists (Joel, Scar, Cleo, Tango)

They hang out in session one and someone else mentions that they are all prone to arson (Grian, Martyn, or Scott probably makes this comment) so one of them makes a flint and steel and starts fucking around with it as a bit. This leads to all of them making them and setting half the server ablaze almost every session. It then forms an unbreakable bond between them and it becomes a sin for any of them to not carry a flint and steel on them. The Fairy Mound forest is a pile of ashes by session three at the latest. They are not nearly as hated as they should be, but they are still generally disliked for their destructive nature especially by the Fairy Mounders. Tango ironically yet unsurprisingly burns to death. Probably in a fire that he started.

Gem And Her Favourite Dad (Tango and Impulse can suck it. Yes, this is all part of the team name. Even that last bit.) (Gem, Skizz)

Gem seeks out Skizz to try and learn kindness. Skizz agrees to mentor her but only if she teaches him how to be ruthless. Skizz is referred to as a pushover multiple times and Gem earns the nickname “German Shepherd”, though surprisingly Skizz is the only one who doesn’t call her this. Skizz actually makes it pretty far with Gem’s help, but lets his undying loyalty win in the end by sacrificing himself for Gem. She wins the season, vowing to erect a statue in Skizz’s memory as per his own request earlier in the season.

Team Daredevil (Grian, Martyn, Etho, Impulse, BigB)

In an attempt to prove his competence Martyn goes full sweat and starts really heavily gearing up day one. Etho naturally immediately hops on board because he is Mr. Nether Day One and Etho very much vibes with that. BigB Grian and Impulse pass by as they are planning this and B dares Grian to go with them and naturally Martyn escalates until everyone is daring each other to do the most dangerous things possible. Soon the dare is to not take any damage, then to kill ten wither skeletons, then to successfully raid a bastion (all during session one). In the later sessions they each prepare a list of dares for each other. They do not explicitly tell any of the other lifers about the bit but the only one who refuses to admit that there’s anything going on at ALL is BigB.

Flower Husbands 2.0 (Scott, Jimmy)

By the end of session one they are the only two who don’t have teammates. There’s a moment where they both realise this after being left alone together as every other alliance goes off to build a base or collect resources, and it’s very heavy and emotional and it ends with Scott handing Jimmy a poppy. Jimmy accepts it but refuses to team up with him officially and they go their separate ways. Over the next few sessions Scott continually collects poppies and is generally angsty and sad etc. etc. and becomes the server mercenary. He’s pretty good at it until he’s asked to kill Jimmy, to which he refuses. People complain about this since they are not officially aligned and eventually word gets to Jimmy about it. Feeling guilty he brings Scott a pufferfish and a handful of poppies, and asks for a partnership of sorts between them. Scott accepts, under the condition that if Jimmy gets the opportunity to kill Scott in a way that will benefit him, he should take it. The situation never arises but Scott constantly reminds him of it, to the point where Jimmy eventually declares that he wouldn’t actually do it if it happened and that they were, in fact, allies. Scott is the first out in the season. The psychological impact on Jimmy is tremendous.

did I end this post with flower husbands angst? whoops silly me :) they can’t all be goofy ig

[squaredbean]

man, the mcyt fandom-canon ouroboros remains fascinating to me. what is canon might become fanon, what is fanon might become canon. sometimes canon exists directly to refute fanon. sometimes fanon becomes canon. sometimes the snake eats its own tail in the process. you know how it is,

[squaredbean]

Gem’s gonna turn Jimmy into a fish. This is the return of the Codfather folks trust <- delusional

[squaredbean]

Hey can yall watch my bugs for me?

[squaredbean]

this is my only prediction for the new season btw

[squaredbean]

✨| NEW VIDÉO GUYS

[squaredbean]

who do you think will propose first fit or pac and why

[squaredbean]

Fit: No one's gonna be homophobic in this village anymore 'cuz we've got the gay crystals here! No one is going to be homophobic in this village any longer!

Ramon: gg --> gay gnomes

Fit: [Laughs] That's right. They heard you were being homophobic so they had to come kill a couple of horses, you know? It's- yeah, it's the Gay Gnome mafia, is what this is.

Pac: Gay Gnome mafia? [Laughs] Maybe you're gonna wake up tomorrow and... all your stables gonna be gone and all your horses gonna be dead, and BOOM! The gnomes gonna be–

Ramon: but we are gay friendly so...

Pac: Oh yeah, we are gay-friendly, yeah, you're right, you're right Ramon. They wouldn't do such a thing.

Fit: [Laughs] Wait, Ramon– we're not just gay-friendly, we are GAY.

Featuring: the Town of Fobo, the Gay Gnome mafia, and Fit and Pac explaining to Ramon why they're more than just "gay-friendly."

[ Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]

—

Fit: No one's gonna be homophobic in this village anymore 'cuz we've got the gay crystals here! No one is going to be homophobic in this village any longer!

Pac: [Laughs] "The gay crystals..."

Fit: It is NOT happening!

Ramon: gg --> gay gnomes

Pac: [Laughs] "GG: Gay Gnomes"

Fit: [Laughs] That's right. They heard you were being homophobic so they had to come kill a couple of horses, you know? Yeah!

Pac: Yeah! Yeah, that- yeah! Perfect, perfect, that's the story, you know- that's the lore behind it.

Fit: It's- yeah, it's the Gay Gnome mafia, is what this is.

Pac: Gay Gnome mafia? [Laughs]

Fit: They heard they were being homophobic.

Pac: Maybe you're gonna wake up tomorrow and... all your stables gonna be gone and all your horses gonna be dead, and BOOM! The gnomes gonna be-

Fit: The gnomes, the gnomes! You know? The gnomes! They strike again.

Pac: [Laughs] The gnomes!

[Fit and Pac practice the Portuguese pronunciation of "gnomes"]

Ramon: but we are gay friendly so...

Pac: Oh yeah, we are gay-friendly, yeah, you're right, you're right Ramon.

Fit: Yeah, they're not g-

Pac: They wouldn't do such a thing.

Fit: [Laughs] Wait, Ramon– we're not just gay-friendly, we are GAY.

[Fit and Pac laugh while Ramon faceplants, Pac joining him on the ground faceplanting next to him moments later]

Pac: Ramon! That's even- that's- that's even better, Fit! They wouldn't even like- they wouldn't even get close to us, you knwo?

Fit: That's right, that's right.

[They both laugh]

Fit: That's r- oh wow, oh this... Good times, good times, good times.

Pac: Good times.

[They both laugh again]

Fit: Oh man... Good times on the QSMP, you love to see it, love to see it.

Pac: Yeah!

[squaredbean]

I love it when american streamers come to the uk to do weird shit because why did fitmc participate in the fucking cheese roll today

[squaredbean]

HAPPY PRIDEMONTH TO MY FAVORITE LESBIANS‼️‼️‼️

[squaredbean]

What has this server done to this man?

[squaredbean]

I gotta watch the creation of “the big swell” or something after this. I need to watch something goofy so I don’t have nightmares tonight holy shit

[squaredbean]

scar saying captainsparklez’ old username

[squaredbean]

One of my new favourite Cub clip Omg

[squaredbean]

I've come to the conclusion that bdubs posted this video the day of the 'favourite build' category of hermit-a-day may simply because he knew it was unfair

[squaredbean]

Mariana talking about his meetup with slimecicle pt2

English Translation

“For anyone who doesn't know who Slime is, he's a white guy from united states, I'm his husband, I married him in a game and we'd roleplay and shit, the thing is that we'd really get along but never met, obviously i don't like him (like romantically). I told him I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I am... I don't remember what I told him, I am I am, I told him that dude. Are you sure? He said that asshole"