#// morality is such a fickle thing in this setting and i LOVE that we can explore that in this thread!!!

[sapphicides]

please write that nastylot meta if you feel so inclined!!! i’m a believer as well <3

i’m not sure how coherent or well-written this will be but i have SO many thoughts on their dynamic(s) so i’m gonna try my best to put them together

i think what makes nastylot so compelling to me is that all three of these women have been ostracized or outcasted in some way. either by society, their friends, their families, or some combination of all 3, misty, natalie, and lottie are all intimately familiar with what it means to be “othered.” this seems to bleed into all of their romantic relationships, as well, with lottie being the only main character without a canon love interest, misty’s multiple failed attempts at dating, and natalie’s inability to achieve stability with any of her partners

… which is why it makes perfect sense to me that these would be the three characters most open to polyamory out of anyone. lottie seems like the most obvious candidate for someone who would be into it— out of all three of them, i think she’s the one who craves togetherness and community the most. misty’s desperation is more evident in her drastic and, oftentimes, outright dangerous attempts to get people to pay attention to/like her, but, unlike lottie, misty never really stoops to the point of changing herself for anyone. instead, misty hovers around people like a lost puppy looking for its owner, hoping they’ll see her for what she’s worth if they only get to know her. lottie, on the other hand, takes the opposite approach, projecting an image of stability and leadership while hiding the parts of herself she’s been taught to hate (see: her mental illness)

misty and natalie both have something lottie wants desperately: the ability to be completely and utterly themselves. misty never changes for anyone, despite many people’s attempts at getting her to. natalie is similar in this way, maintaining her sense of morality no matter how bad shit gets in the wilderness + being one of the only survivors who openly admits that what happened to them was traumatizing despite the unspoken agreement to never acknowledge it. lottie, on the other hand, falls so deeply into this role of prophetess that she built in the wilderness that she maintains it into adulthood, creating an entire commune that surrounds her with worshippers so that she can feel connected to people after being isolated and ostracized in her youth, no matter how empty or fickle that connection is

the thing that sets lottie’s connections to misty and natalie apart, though, is that they’re based in the harshest parts of reality that the other survivors tend to look away from: the shared trauma, the innate understanding of one another’s desire for intimacy, and the knowledge that each of them are so fundamentally damaged that they will likely never receive it in anyone but each other. so of course lottie is the key here. she’s the one who proposes the idea of polyamory, likely positing it as a spiritual thing and asserting the importance of the collective (think about how she referred to shauna’s baby as “our baby;” how she acknowledged the wilderness as “just us;” how she’s often speaking in “we”s in both timelines)

misty may initially reject this— despite her desire for a romantic relationship, she’s very much a traditionalist in how she views romance. she has an idyllic perspective on what a relationship should look like, often falling into this dreamy fantasy and imposing unrealistic expectations on the guys she’s interested in. she convinces herself she’s dating ben because, in her mind, it’s a fun, thrilling teenage romance when, in actuality, it’s a nonexistent, one-sided relationship that would be extremely disturbing if it were ever to actually materialize. she even does this with walter, romanticizing him before realizing that he can’t provide her with the emotional support or understanding she actually needs. and i think she realizes this at some point in season 2, on the commune with natalie and lottie and the other remaining survivors who actually do understand her, and that’s when she opens herself more to the idea of polyamory

even though i can see her showing some hesitancy, much like lottie, misty also values the idea of community and would likely open herself up to polyamory more quickly than natalie. where i think natalie’s main issue lies, however, is not with her holding onto some vague idea of monogamy being the “right” way to have a relationship (she was a punk kid in the 90s, trust me she doesn’t give a fuck about that) but moreso with her own commitment issues. i think her issues with her father influenced her in such a way that she began associating emotional intimacy with her dad’s violent outbursts from a very early age. on top of this, her mother seems to have been emotionally distant up until she died, setting a bad example for her from the time she was a young girl that never corrected itself

she’s known to have a lot of hookups in high school and this seems to continue well into adulthood, but there’s a reason they tend to stay as hookups rather than full-on relationships. travis is the closest thing to a real relationship she had and that was far from stable— except for her dynamics with misty and lottie, which seem to not only mimic romantic relationships in the adult timeline (her and misty working together to solve travis’ death, her becoming lottie’s right-hand woman completely unintentionally and “adopting” lisa with lottie) but provide her that sense of stability she can never seem to associate with relationships in both timelines (misty and lottie protecting her from the others in the wilderness, misty and lottie saving her from herself as her addiction/mental health issues spiral in adulthood)

this is also something natalie realizes in season 2 while on the commune— think about how she was initially so wary of lottie, only to give her trust over to her completley. think about how she was initially confrontational with misty, only to be genuinely happy to see and involve her when she joins them. after a while, i think natalie would realize what a critical part of her healing journey letting go of her commitment issues is and ultimately allow herself to be loved and love both of these women; not just from a distance, but as an actual romantic partner

and that is precisely what makes nastylot the most feasible polyamorous relationship out of anyone imo. each one of these girls has something to gain from entering an established partnership with the others, and each of them have a unique, mutual dynamic with both of the others that makes the idea of them entering a relationship entirely believable. i love love love most polyjackets ships but what makes nastylot so compelling to me is its genuine canon basis that a lot of other ships just don’t have

but don’t get me wrong here: i can absolutely meta-ize just about any polyjackets ship involving the main cast. so if anyone has any requests… my ask box happens to be open hehe

[hacksawgeddon]

He doesn’t answer—it’s not like he can, really. With what he can grasp from the situation, she didn’t mean to be here and that’s all that mattered to him. How ironic it was, for her to be named Mercy. Hacksaw takes a moment to stare at her for some time, silently mulling over his decisions before his grip visibly tightens around his saw. He steps forward again to swing his weapon in the air and—

The rope snaps easily against the blade, sending his victim tumbling down on the floor. He feels guilty for a split second—it’s not exactly a gentle fall—but he shakes his head to dismiss the thought and quickly hauls the girl, net and all, over his shoulder. Better a little hurt than dead, unlike so many trespassers. Hacksaw starts walking without hesitation, heading for the nearest way out of his grounds.  

He steps closer, and Mercy scolds herself. She'd been expecting a wave of pure evil and malice from this figure, but in fact she senses little. Not an undeniable purity, but certainly nothing fouler than the average person. "Please? I know you won't hurt me. I just need help. My name is Mercy; what's yours?"

[threepandas]

Bad End: Loyalties

Did you know? That one of the unexpected benefits to being reborn, with your memories intact, is that you carry your first life's cultural taboos with you? All your knowledge, all your superstitions, every horror movie you've ever so much as glanced at. Like a dowry, brought with you, into this, your new life.

You end up not giving as much weight, to local superstitions. Especially the ones you know are not true. How? Well, sometimes? In the mad, random, overwhelming blur of the Cosmos? You end up in a Reality that to YOU? Was once fiction. Living in a snapshot of that world's history, as it plays out. Just as it was prophesied.

It's kinda disorienting. But? You get used to it.

Though you DO have to make a choice. Quickly. And decide where in that prophecy you want to stand. After all... there are many ways it could go. It WAS a "game". A story of romance. That other's lives would be impacted? That nations might rise or fall? That people could and will DIE? Oh, that is irrelevant! Isn't it?

They are young.

In LOVE.

Obviously, I could not risk my life on such irresponsible grounds. Plant my flag and swear loyalty, to such fickle hearts. I would die. They would get me killed, for their love story. No... No, what I needed? Was something stable. Selfish. Someone who would claim, but would KEEP.

I needed someone who rewarded loyalty. Someone who praised cleverness. Protected his own. Had (and would again) kill any who set untoward eyes upon those who served him. Someone guaranteed to survive until the end. Machiavellian, scheming. A soft and twisting word. Whispered kindly, in so many, many ears.

The power behind whichever throne he chooses.

Most Senior Royal Advisor, Iwamoto Nobutoshi. My boss. Or, really, Master I guess. Boss was for gangsters. Which was still weird for me. Part of me still twitched violently, every time I said the word "master". My brain insisting, it was either a sex thing or a slavery thing, and that I should respond with Immediate Violence at being told to call anyone that.

Yeah... there ARE downsides to keeping your memories. It really is a mixed bag, all told.

But, hey! All those horror movies I've seen in passing? Scary Horror-Terror Stuff I've absorbed through cultural osmosis? Has been really coming in handy, not gonna lie. So has my understanding of what constitutes "psychological warfare" and "mindfuck-y, liminal, torment".

It should NOT be as cathartic as it is? But... not gonna lie. I've gotten weirdly GOOD at this. Learned to become one with the shadows. Sneak into and out of places, I rightfully should not BE. Usually with a bucket of animal blood from a butcher's. Occasionally, if I KNOW they have someone who can test it? I get the bucket from the morgue.

Which? Is gross as FUCK. And disrespectful. But I have to believe they'd be totally down for fucking with some Evil Rich Assholes. Plus I donate funds to their family's anonymously. So I like to think it balances out? Still don't like to do it, though. I feel like the longer I've been here, the more my morals have chipped away...

Where was I? Right! Tonight's "art"!

I forget where that quote was from, exactly? But? It was true. People do not look up nearly enough. Worse yet, most manors around here? Had attics and weird pockets in their ceilings, with easy access to the floors below. I had? Gotten past? SO many patrols this way. So, SO many.

Frankly, an ALARMING number of patrols.

I'd taken to putting traps in the ceiling, back home.

What I was aiming for, here, was the private rooms. Not the hallway outside the private rooms, oh no, those would be patrolled to hell and back. But inside. Plus? It would have that added, spicy, "we can get you where you sleep" fear factor. And? Having their oh so TRUSTED, highly trained gaurds? See NOTHING? Perfect~

Cause? We? Were doing a good ol fashioned "Sins of The Past" Haunting!

The trick, if you don't actually have any good oppo-research available? Is to be vague, yet aim for things you do know about them. Let them fill in the blanks. Such as? The VERY convenient deaths of Lord Jackass's other brothers, which cleared HIS way towards power. There's no PROOF of any wrong doing... but~? Guilty hearts DO tend to tell on themselves~!

Slinking down the rope ladder silently, into the frankly hideously overdecorated room. I got to work. On silent feet, I began to set the stage. Furniture, lifted and silently stacked, around the snoring Lord and his equally unconscious wife. Expensive pottery, covered in a thick and padded bag, before it is struck.

As though some silent blast of power had gone off. Each piece, placed right back where it had been, now broken, on the floor. Next? The most time consuming, but subtle, one. Also the one that would spread farthest as gossip. Using a custom made seam ripper, tear out the eyes of every example of his family's crest on his clothes. On his bedding.

Yes, ALSO on the robe he wore to bed. That one takes very gentle movement. Very nerve-wracking, not gonna lie. You gotta go slow. Once you DO? Good ol "tears of blood." Just paint it right on the cloth, let it stain. As though the crests were weeping.

THEN, you paint the room in nicely vague horror movie script.

"Brother. Why?" "We know. We know EVERYTHING. How could you?" "We are tired of waiting, join us. Join us Brother." "We are witness, a shame upon our blood."

And other such gems! Plus the good ol hands scrambling, covered in blood, to a point in the center of the room. Put a round painters cloth down, and~? Gently sift ash and bone dust (I dried up bones from the kitchens, then ground um! Also great for gardening.) over the floor. Step UP, to my ladder, kit away, grab the cloth, and? Off we go!

Room successfully haunted.

Couldn't happen to a nicer asshole, really. Is it a BIT much? Yeah, probably. People lose their SHIT. I apparently have "a talent", according to my teammates. Which is nonsense. It's all B-grade horror move nonsense and house of horrors gross outs. Visceral ick. But it's NEW here, so I guess that counts? Even if I am plagiarizing the FUCK out of somebody.

Thankfully, though, dispite my "talent"? Master Iwa- ...No, wait, didn't he tell me recently to call him by his name? Uncomfy. A good sign, obviously, but... uncomfy. Don't Like that he knows who I am. I was aiming for, you know, mid rank? Not disposable but pretty forgetable? But now I have a Useful Skill. Have proven to be INTELLIGENT.

Fuck, I even made the mistake of cleaning up and organizing PAPERWORK. You know, paperwork? A thing you would have to READ and MAKE SENSE OFF, to be able to organize? Have to create some kind of workable and efficient system, by WHICH to sort? I thought it was an assistants! Not HIS!

One fuck up is all it takes.

He will find you, he WILL rip the secrets out of you, and yes! He WILL smile pleasantly the entire fucking time! It's horrifying! Kinda cool! I'm pretty sure my life flashed before my eyes! Ha ha... Holy SHIT.

Right, where...? Right! My "talent"! Master Nobutoshi? Big on "right piece for the right purpose". Yeah, you could FORCE people to go against their ideals, their beliefs, their very nature... but you can only do so, for so long. Fear fades. Pain can be overcome. Not everyone fears death.

He regards it as foolish, inefficient, to drag and force and scream.

No, no! He? Oh, he merely... suggests. A softly spoken recommendation. A guiding hand, to show you, the best use of your skills. And if that guidance just so happens to serve his interests? Well... what a wonderful coincidence~ How fortuitous.

Heavy hands get broken. Snapped at and slapped away. But a gentle touch? A little nudge? Sweet whispers in your ear? That tell you what you want to hear? Guide you where HE wants you to be? Well, THAT is so much harder to notice, isn't it. So, SO much harder to fight.

I chose pretty well, I like to think. Because no matter the game? He'll come out on top. Probably laugh, as all the other players, dance to his tune. Who WOULDN'T want to be on his team? His team wins.

And winning? Means I survive.

Dropping off my kit in the shed at the back of the Iwamoto guest residence gardens (where, should it be found, the presence of such things could be blamed on unscrupulous guests), I trudge back towards the servants quarters. I'm tired and filthy. It's the kind of late? Where it's flipped right around to become early.

Luckily, me and my teammates plan ahead, so there is a still moderately warm bath waiting for me. God bless Aiko and all she stands for. For this? I'll even carry her back to our room. Since, once again, she's decided "fuck it" and just curled up on the stack of towels. Doesn't even fit. She just shoved her upper body in the cubby and called it good.

I snort and step over her. Get my fuckin bath. Late night shifts are the worst. But we all take um. I focus on getting clean, grabbing my passed out lump of a roommate, and heading to bed. Fucker drools on me. Snorkels right in my ear. Takashi laughs silently as we pass him, hold the door for me. Seems to be heading out as we head in.

Master Iwamoto's shadow network never truely sleeps, after all.

Always someone doing something.

Dumping us both in our beds, I greatfully pass out. Do not dream. Greet near mid-day as my dawn, ready to start it all over again. Up, a quick bath, dressed and ready to go. Nothing to seem here but us identical servants. We go in shifts. All the better to be as disorienting as possible, to outsiders.

Everyone who looks like each other? Grouped on a shift. Taught to use make up to make themselves even MORE indistinguishable. We pick someone about in the middle, appearance wise, of each group, as the Standard. Everyone is to copy them. For my group, it's me.

I pick up the whispers and news, that have been collected since this mornings report. Second one of the day. At least, second one when we're not on "war" footing. As I walk, I glance down. Technically not supposed to read these, but I'm fairly sure he knows I do at least read the top page. Is amused by it. I'd have seen punishment otherwise. Or removed from delivery.

Oooh~ lookie THERE! How SCARY~☆! It appears someone was HAUNTED last night! By the ghosts of their dead brothers, you say? Angry ancestors, you say? Wife hysterical? Fled to her parents house? Sister, in tears, before the king? Oh my, oh my~!

I struggle not to grin. That would give the game away. Me? Reading something I'm not supposed too? I would NEVER. He he he~

Casually weaving through other servants, I keep reading. Climbing stairs and ducking down halls. Huh. Wait a second... slowing, I step to the side of the covered walkway. Re-read that last paragraph. Near the end of the page? Is something... strange. Not right.

I REMEMBER the Plot.

Made SURE I would remember. Wrote it down, then again and again. Memorized it, like my life literally depended on it, while it was still somewhat fresh in my mind. Because, frankly, it DID depend on it. Even now? Decades later? I can recite it by rote.

So why? Pray tell? Did our blushing Protagonist? Have a BROTHER.

Furthermore, why the FUCK have I not NOTICED this before?

Glancing around, I see far too many watchful eyes, to properly investigate. So I straighten. Pleasant, vague, expression in place. I walk forward. In no hurry at all. Definitely going to deliver these papers. Certainly not delaying in the slightest. Nothing to see here, everyone! Go about, what you were. We are all friends here, RIGHT?

I step into the building at the far end of the covered pathway. Resist diving into the first room available. That? Would be too predictable. I go for the THIRD. One quick grab, slide, and side-step? And~? Poof! Like I was never there. Servant? WHAT servant? These halls are EMPTY. You're clearly seeing things... are you okay?

Immediately, I lift the reports. Well, immediate after a look around the room, of course. Don't want to get CAUGHT. Flipping to the second page, I start reading. What's this about a Brother? What BROTHER?! There IS no BROTHER!

....except there IS.

Somehow.

And HE? Is a very, VERY clever man. One who lived quietly. Like a ghost. After the failed assassination attempt that nearly killed him and his mother. Wait a- ...failed? That sounds...? Familiar.

I have to close my eyes and think, to remember. Lean my head back and let my brain churn. It's... obscure. A tiny detail, mentioned offhand. Single line of dialog, in only one of the routes. Not even the MAIN routes. But one of the Secret ones, that you have to unlock... in the... collectors? Edition? I think? There was that play through video, right? We were eating... a noodle dish of some kind...

Fuck, I can't remember it. Not fully.

But I remember ENOUGH.

I REMEMBER? That it WASN'T a FAILED attempt. That Protagonist-chan's family didn't talk about them. For vaguely plot relevant reason. There was healing and good vibes. Follow your dreams, kids. Buy now. Etc etc...

He... survived? How? Damn it. Doesn't say. But... shit. He's cause a LOT of trouble, isn't he? And it looks like he's kind... railroading his sister into a specific route. That, or keeping her from emotionally cheating on her fiancée. Can't tell. Haven't met her. Looks like he's also patented a few... is that a fucking WHISK? Holy shit. These are all early industrial revolution!

Looking up from the reports, I stare blankly into space. Is... is the Protagonist's brother... ALSO a Reincarnator? What do I do with that? Do I contact him? Say "hello"? "I'm here too"? I thought I was... was completely alone in this world. But of all the places he could BE. Smack dap RIGHT in the middle of all the action?! Holy SHIT.

I'm going to have to think about this. A LOT.

Correcting the reports, I step back into the hallways. Casual as you please. Continue on my way, even as my mind churns and churns. Why is he gathering allies? Why hide for so long? Is he counting on his sister's plot armor to carry over? Or does he have actual military training? He's amassing loyalists. For WHAT?

And the reports said he's searching for something. Seem to suggest that WE are keeping it AWAY from him. What are we hiding? Protecting?

People? Resources? A mine?

I reached Master Nobutoshi's study, in his private wing. The halls quite, as only the most elite and trusted servants were allowed to travel here. Kneeling, I knocked on the door frame, waited to be acknowledged.

Receiving an almost absent-minded acknowledgement, I slide open the door.

Framed by delicately painted screen and thickly stuffed book shelves, Iwamoto Nobutoshi was, as always, the very picture of an elite scholar. Beautiful and refined. Slow and deliberate in movements, as though each had been pondered and found acceptable. I had never met a man more graceful. Not in this life, not in the last.

To my right, the sliding door to the gardens were open. Giving a picturesque view of summer, as it faded into fall. To the left, painted screens. Done by some Master's hand. With a splendid level of detail that still caught me off gaurd, even now. There were birds, in those painted trees! Had there always been? I wished I could look closer.

Nonetheless, I respectfully offered the reports for perusal.

"Right on time. This One had begun to worry." He said as he set aside his brush, smile mild as ever, even as his eyes swiftly cataloged each new discrepancy. There were several. "Bruises. Did the new padding in your suit, not sufficiently protect? This One will be most displeased if we have been lied too. We were promised it would."

No, and that was the thing, wasn't it? My kit? Had never been better. But... I had been damn near ambushed on my way TOO my job. Had to take evasive maneuvers. Do a LOT more parkour then I was comfortable with. Those fuckers had been... persistent. Weirdly so. Which made no sense, since they didn't seem affiliated with anyone I recognized.

"Oh?" The question was less a question and more a flat note of outrage. He held a hand out for the reports, began to read. "How... interesting. They certainly seem to be getting bold. This One begins to wonder. If he has perhaps been too kind, that they would see fit to harrass his-"

An ominous silence fills the room as he cuts off mid-sentence, as his eyes find something on the page he's reading. He has gone utterly still. The gentle curl of smoke from his pipe, wafting around him like the warning trails of a dragon. The deadly hidden embers of a forest fire, flaring up. His pleasant smile had frozen upon his face. Like a mask.

"He certainly does love to push his luck, does he? Make demands, for things he has no right too. Things which are ours." The words weren't even so much addressed to me? As the were a hissed accusation, towards the report in his hand. Someone, somewhere, seemed REALLY dead set on pissing Master Nobutoshi off.

Honestly? That seemed really unwise, but it's their funeral... I guess...?

Master Nobutoshi turns so suddenly I only barely avoid flinching. Jumping like a newbie. He's doing that "pick you apart at the seems" stare again. Looking into my soul. I remain politely deferential, patient, as I wait for him to work through his thoughts. He rises from his desk. Elegant and prowling, as he stalks towards me. Gaze intense, fixated. I... I am missing something.

"Tell me, my loyal little shadow. What would you do? If some... upstart, dared begin to covet, that which was yours? Started panting after your dearly beloved trusted, like a filthy dog? Trying to steal them away? Would you take that? Tolerate such disrespect? I... This One... can not imagine you would."

"You are so very loyal. So diligent. You serve me not for fame or glory, power nor wealth. You ask for so little, offer so much. I would give the world to you. My precious, loyal, little shadow. Forever by my side. No doubt, we shall grow old together. That they would covet you? The audacity is unthinkable."

Soft yet warrior calloused hands, come up to cup my cheeks. And... ah. Yeah. T-That's pretty fucking CLEAR on what I'm missing. My boss? Has a thing for me? Crush? Or... or is it "is in love with"? W-what was that about people coveting?! Hold on! Roll things back a second! What's happening?! I never thought I was blind... about apparently I need a stick and some GLASSES.

Because there is "missed some subtext" and then there's "dude, how do you miss the silent war with guerrilla tactics, right fucking IN FRONT OF YOU?!", so like? Either I was being DELIBERATELY kept seperate? Or... actually? No. That actually sound exactly like what probably happened. An information diet.

FUCK.

Before I could decide how, exactly, I felt about that? The same door I had entered through, opened again. This time sharply and with an audible snap. Dragging urgently along it's tracks and hitting its end, in a way the delicate crafting had never been meant for. I swear it nearly cracked. Alarmed, I spun, breaking free of Master Nobutoshi's hold on my face, to face whoever was at the door.

Aiko.

Shouldn't she be near the front gates? "Sweeping" and listening to gossip for the Shadows? How. Why!? My eyes catch on slowly spreading red. Stark against her... our uniform, she's hurt. Badly. Gripping her side and the door frame like it's the only thing still holding her up. Her face ashy pale and sweating with terrible pain. Eyes determined. Her jaw set in that stubborn, stubborn grit.

"Master. You need to leave. Now! They...!" She wavers, starting to blackout from the pain, before forcing it back. "They've attacked! We're holding them back. A-As best as we c..can! Please! Lord Iwamoto, I BEG you! You must go! If you don't survive this, then everything is lost!"

As if to underline the terrible wait of her words, an explosion goes off, shaking the austere foundations of the ancient house in which I serve. My mind immediately flits and races along the emergency protocols. W-was that one of ours? Did we..? No. No, we would have... DID set up barricades. This is our house. We've already trapped it.

They are the ones who brought explosives.

You don't bring things like those, if you plan to leave survivors. You bring those? When you plan to make EXAMPLES. Aiko is right. We have to go. Now. Heart hurting, I nod to my roommate, one of my best friends, and know that this is it. I will likely never see her again, alive. There are... so many goodbyes, words, I wish I had time to say.

In the look she shoots me? I see the same.

We knew this might come.

Just... just hoped it never would.

My boss's crush can wait. His LIFE is more important. I turn and reach for him, to guide him towards the screens, leading deeper into his wing. Get to him easily. But do not get more then two steps before an arm, like steel, is suddenly around my waist and jerking me back.

Jerking US back. Towards the wall of scrolls and decorative pieces, that sat behind Master Nobutoshi's desk. Startled, my gaze shoots down to see Master Nobutoshi's arm, unhesitating and possessive, wrapped around my waist. There is... a lot more muscle under those flowing robes, then I ever suspected. But-?

I do not even have time to think, to ponder, the question before it is violently answered. The masterfully painted screens, that I had long admired, smashing and tearing as bodies crash through them.

Takashi, dead on the floor, sword still in hand. Around him, his teammates dying, as they still tried to by their Lord even a few moments more, to escape. The large, ever polite Shadow, a man who had been like a brother to me... dumped upon the ground like little more then trash. To be tossed aside and discarded. Stepped over, on some other man's campaign.

His blood mixed with the ruins of the Hunting Tiger screen. Two proud, quietly noble wonders, destroyed. It had been his favorite.

Aiko howled with rage and grief. Threw herself into the fight.

We had been family.

I turned, away, hating myself for it. Knowing it's what they would want. Tears threatened but I could not let them come. Not... not yet. Not yet. There was an emergency exit. Where? Where!? I remembered it. I knew, I knew it! But the grief was muddling my mind, making it slow. Damn it. DAMN IT! WHERE WAS IT!!!??

Master Nobutoshi reached past me. Gripping the hilt of decorative sword, he lifted and drew. It.. it was not decorative. Merely disguised. A masterwork blade. It sang ominously as it cut through the air, entering the scene. Then... a face, breathe, pressed to the side of my head. Like.. like a lover? A terrible discordance, in this already awful event.

"Behind the Three Mountains and a Shrine, My Love. I will be with you shortly."

I froze. The world froze, for all it continued, around me. Distantly... I felt Master Nobutoshi loosen his grip, after... after one last possessive squeeze. Let go. Felt him turn away, as he faced the room. But... but that was... he.... he had....

W-was that? I-Informal? A..And WHAT did he call m-!?

My hand, shaking, found the right scroll. Somehow. Without my numb, panicking mind, they moved dispite me. Somehow determined to keep me alive, dispite my shock. I flicked the right switch. Disarmed the traps in the order they needed to be. And... click. There was the trap door. Our... our way out...

I stared. Blankly. W.. what was I supposed to..? Do?

Was I finally... in shock? That's... probably not good. Bad, actually. I should... should move. There are swords here. It's...? Dangerous? Yes. Dangerous. Bad. I need too... too think. Cry, maybe. Somewhere... not loud. With... with no... no swords.

Stumbling. Stiffly. Like my body was not my own anymore, I knelt. Hands clumsy and far away, I struggled with the trap door. Finally got it. People were... were fighting. Hurting. I... I didn't want to be here anymore. Didn't want to be ANYWHERE anymore. I... I wanted it to stop.

Why? Why wouldn't they all just... just STOP.

Aiko. Takashi. My teammates. Who else? Who else was hurt? G-gone? I was... was supposed to be SAFE. This was supposed to be SAFE. I worked so hard. Compromised and compromised, pushed myself down, and made myself fit. I worked and worked and WORKED, until I had nothing LEFT, b... because this was supposed to be SAFE!!!

I... I was supposed to b-be...!

"Iwamoto!" A voice roared above the chaos and fighting. "Where is She?! I know you're keeping her somewhere!"

Like a lions roar, some primal part of my brain demanded I pay attention. Now. Dragging, with brutal claws, my fragile mind, from its drifting cloud of numbness. One leg already on the steps to the escape tunnel, I turned, and... with horror? Realized I was to blame. For... for ALL of this.

Because? There, in armor, stood the Protagonist's brother. Surrounded by his men, with his sister safely at home, what other SHE could he POSSIBLY mean? If not the one? That ALSO remembers? H...He killed Aiko. Takashi. For THIS?

Monster.

Oh god, he.. he was a MONSTER.

Master Nobutoshi and the Reincarnator squared off. Swords drawn, men at their back. Already, so many were dead. So many I had known. Had worked with. My friends. Just... just pawns, between two powerful men. Dizzy, I realized, they... they hadn't even glanced at them. Didn't even seem to SEE them. Just... just more fodder. For their grand campaigns.

"You know?" Nobutoshi all but purred, as he clashed blades with his opponent. "I really must thank you. You helped me realize, the true worth of the gem I possessed. And, once you're dealt with? I will no longer need to hide her in obscurity. With you dead, little rat, I can finally have her, in every way that matters."

"She'll be a beautiful bride." His grin was a savage thing, full of baring teeth.

The Protagonist's brother raged. A lion, a mountain, and a warlord. Fury twisting what were, no doubt, handsome features into something horrifying. Blade work swift and brutal. How many of my friend's blood? Still painted that blade? Still stained his armor? He dressed himself like he thought he was the hero. He was destroying the only home I had known, for these past decades.

"Pervert! You disgusting CREEP! You think you can just imprison women until they love you?! I always knew there was something wrong with you, but this? This take the cake, you FREAK! I'm getting her out of here! Stopping your schemes! Once and for all!" The Brother roared, something unhinged in his eyes. A lifetime of isolation at last, too much, now that relief might finally be at hand. "You'll never understand her! You CAN'T understand her! Not like me! She was MADE FOR ME! We're supposed to be in this TOGETHER! And I WON'T let you keep me from her ANY LONGER, YOU FREAK!"

They couldn't see anyone but each other, as they fought. Brutal. Savage. Singing blades and madness. Around the room, the two sides clashed. Died. Pointlessly, at the command of their Lords. Sitting at the entrance to the escape route, I could see Aiko from here. Takashi. Both dead, gone, where just this morning we had been joking over our plans for an upcoming festival. We... we were going to hit up the candy booths first. Double back to store our loot. Then enjoy the festivities.

It was a good plan. I was going to pretend... that... that I didn't notice Aiko, stealing all the sour plum candies. I hated them. She loved them. But would never take them if I offered. O.. only fun if she could sneak um. Takashi would save me my favorites. Wasn't much of a sweets guy.

Gone...

All gone.

And for what? Because I "belonged" to the Brother? Because Master Nobu-...no. Because Iwamoto Nobutoshi, picked a FIGHT? All I wanted was to be safe. Live quietly. No plot. No drama. No chaos. Just... just market days and laundry, sweeping and helping make dumplings. Weeding the gardens. Napping with kids and cats. Slowness and the shifting of seasons.

A life, unremarkable.

I looked down into the escape tunnel. Dark, long, and to somewhere unknown.

They did not notice me leave.

[thyandrawrites]

I'm having a lot of thoughts about Fangs of Fortune's thesis about kindness. How the show posits that at times the unfairness of life will try to beat any hope you hold dear out of you. And that if you let it, you'll become a shell of resentment and you'll start to see things like bioessentialism as very tempting, cause it's easier to hate an entire category of people and dehumanize them, than turn that look inwards and examine how your own biases and shortcomings contribute to other people's suffering, too.

I think the shows portrays kindness as an act of resistance. As the only act of resistance that matters, even.

The central premise is that the world is a sea of suffering and unfairness, but to let yourself drown in it is to jump into a bottomless abyss. You'll lose yourself forever. Losing loved ones is inevitable, and you'll be powerless to stop it, and you'll lose your mind if you try. But you cannot let the cruelty of the world change you into an unkind person, because the kindness in your heart is what will make it possible to find connection and common ground.

When it comes to interpersonal conflict, assuming you know the whole truth because you trust your morals and your sense of fairness will make you blind to all the things that don't quite fit into your worldview. We see this through the tragedy of the Pei siblings being unable to see eye to eye until one of them dies for the other, and they still continue to misunderstand each other, to assume their way of fixing the family was the one that would've worked in the end. But we also see this through Li Lun's inability to see past Wen Zongyu's lies despite his truth eye, setting himself up to being manipulated by the very person he was trying to defeat.

But the show tells us, if you're able to see past your own pain, you will recognize other people's pain, too, and that will be your greatest stength.

Kindness is a choice, and sometimes remaining kind despite hardship will take a lot of self-restraint and will come at the price of great personal suffering. But choosing to remain kind — choosing not to let your despair change you into someone who cannot see other point of views or your own flaws, let alone attempt to correct them — is what will save you. Blaming others for your pain is tempting, cause hatred is easy. So so easy. Hatred will make you feel as though you're in control, but in truth, you'll just give your resentment free rein to guide your choices, to blindfold you and make you lose the last bits of yourself, until hatred is all that controls you, not the other way around.

Kindness, on the other hand, often is the hardest thing you will ever have to bear. It will be heavy, because sometimes it carries the weight of someone else's pain that you're shouldering for them, or that you're sharing together. And sometimes it will hurt you worse than all the pain in the world because you'll be bearing a weight that no one but you knows this intimately, and you'll be blamed for things that you couldn't control, things that happened to you, that you were powerless to stop. Sometimes you'll be the one grieving, and the world will still oust you. Like how Zhou Yichen couldn't see how Ying Lei wasn't the only one crying for his grandpa, but Zhao Yuanzhou was grieving his master, too. Or how when the table turns ZYC experiences how fickle human empathy is when your hands are bloodstained.

And the show asks us through both ZYZ and ZYC what meaning can there be in staying alive, if pain is all you know. If your kindness and your good intentions aren't enough to prevent further losses, or if your morals cannot render you immune to resentment. Because everyone, even the most fair and ethical of people can experience it, and everyone can go off the deep end when the right circumstances make them susceptible to letting out said violence.

But retaliation is not closure. Choosing to hate the world for its cruelty the way Li Lun and Wen Zongyu do is an easy outlet for their grief, but in the end it doesn't make their lives meaningful. It doesn't resolve the suffering in the world, either. Zongyu resents demons for their violence against humans, and yet still betrays humanity in the end, inflicting violence on them in his obsession for revenge. And Li Lun resents humans for how they treat demons, but his plan to fix that involves letting all the weaker demons become casualties in a bigger war. Bioessentialism cannot be the answer. Hatred can feel empowering in the moment, but in the eyes of literally everyone else you'll just be hateful and miserable. You'll have driven people away, using your hurt as justification for inflicting harm on others. And since misery only breeds more misery, that will make you more aware of everything you don't have, which in turn will feed in a never-ending cycle your anger and your resentment towards the world that took those things from you.

So what can you do?

Fate cannot be overwritten, death cannot be reversed. There are things that you simply cannot change. But as unfair as it is to be asked to be the one carrying the burden of staying kind despite how much it hurts you, in the end it's only kindness that can give you solace, too. It's the only thing that will stand between you and despair. It won't lift the pain of your losses or of the things you cannot change, but it will give you hope. Pei Sijing cannot hold on to her brother forever because he's already long dead. But it's this unfair loss that taught her how important it is to see past your biases and attempt to understand others before it's too late. And she passes on this kindness to Wen Xiao in turn, asking her if her resentment is worth the price of regret later down the line, using herself as a cautionary tale.

Similarly, Zhou Yichen cannot make his brother come back to life by killing his killer, but when his demonization arc makes him see reality from ZYZ's pov, he gains a best friend instead. Two "anomalies" find belonging within mutual understanding, with all the closure and relief it brings to the torture they've been carrying in their hearts for 8 years.

And the show says, only if you let your heart experience hope, if you practice kindness as a choice, you'll be able to open your heart to like-minded people. To your people. The ones willing to fight for you, with you.

And that's what makes the impossible weight of the world more bearable. The common ground you can only reach by letting yourself see reality through someone else's eyes.

And idk, besides sharing this view, I think it's great to have stories emphasizing these ideas at a time like this, in the current real world climate

[madfantasy]

To fan art and fiction enjoyers:

Please excuse my rage slipping if it happened over having to address this literal mediocrity of a subject in comparison to endless things that actually matters in real life. Because this would be at the scrapping bottom of it, but since the occasion presented itself, here we are:

Do you know there are some, let's say, manners, being in fandoms, and/or in using social media in general? NOOO? 8U

Well, Lets start somewhere!

Like it or not, YOU NEED TO ACTUALLY READ STUFF PEOPLE WRITE. Before you follow, before you comment, before you interact, because if you come across something you don't like, or you started to assume things— that's a you problem and not the fault of the poster.

If you DO NOT enjoy a character, a pair of ship, or a certain head cannon, filter the tag it's used for, Google has free tutorials on how. Most social media have these settings and most decent posters tag their posts correctly. If you keep seeing that pair, you can block the people who create it. You are free to do so ofc but WHY WOULD U come on main and air that out? Personally I find it so bizarre and it could show the type of person you are to other people — a toxic company over fictional substance — and I'd say that is not a flex, more like showing your dirty nappy in public. Those characters you love are not real and so not effected by your high ground stance, but actual humans that share you that love notice and get that impression, and it's a weird one. You SHOULD, of course, set your boundaries, and usually where that is be in your profile, on your bio or a pinned post.

Loving bizarre, villainous, creepy concepts DOES NOT EQUAL morality, nor loving good sunshine and flowers does. It's what a person does in real life what counts, not what they consume in entertainment. In fact, it is not a sign of a good person those who be shaming humans who like different fictional concepts. Or when someone keeps using ai generators knowing full well it's based on constant data theft of all sort of human creators across generations and can not exist without the continuance of this theft. Or those supporting creators that they know did irl crimes. Or those who are Policing what's can and cannot go into fiction as if the fickleness of preference have never let alot of things survive its judgement. And I can go on with the miniature examples. You are forgiven if you did not know before, some people learn through experience, but not anymore when you continue this behaviour. And maybe if you can't differentiate between reality and fiction, and what's more important than what, maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't be consuming fiction.

DO NOT POST WHAT YOU DID NOT CREATE. Do you like it when people keep posting your selfies that you only ment to share for funsies and what not? Isn't worse if you did not post that selfie in the first place or never wanted it to be used like that? It's the SAME FOR ART. This is the artists work just as much as your face is yours. Social media at the baseline is about who ever the poster is, their posts are theirs. So you posting an artist's drawing, with no permission, no credit to them, no nothing, is not allowed and people can report that. Don't be an ignorant thick fig and play the victim when schooled like this precious dear\s .Reposters disconnect so many content from their creators and this is how alot of beautiful things in life die, by simply not knowing they are loved, shoved into the over consumption machine..

And lastly, You don't have anything nice to say to OP? Don't say anything! It's not your misguided duty to educate people on how embarrassingly self centered you are, it's okay to be a basic #&★— I promise. It okay to feel out of place in a niche that doesn't concern you. It's okay to realise other people have different perspectives of the fiction work you enjoy. You can sit down.

And I'd like to add, Mani is a safe space for au and ships even if I don't like em, cuz they are only FICTION and will remain FICTION no matter how much I loved them or hated them.

Good day, dears🍀

[localsharkcryptid]

@thenaiads Okay so this is a bit long and I didn't plan for that (hence why I'm just adding on here cause APPARENTLY comment replys have a limit) but I think I've gathered my thoughts - it was rather late when I made this post lol

Admittedly it's not a like, one to one or perfect comparison by any means (definitely not if we stick just to canon stuff)- more like 'damn you could make an au outta this' type deal and like the vibes which makes it difficult to explain but anyways:

I think the main thing with how I see it as coded for awesamdream is that, for lack of any better wording, the dynamic is notably messy - riddled with betrayals of trust, corruption of one of the parties involved due to assumptions, attempts at controlling the other and guilt, but at the same time both parties do hold some kind of love for each other - they've both been hurt (some more than others) by eachother but even DESPITE that they both love the other in some way, even if there's heavy denial on one end.

Sam and Davy Jones do hold some similarities - despite the difference in their settings and situations: Sam was given the role of Warden, a seemingly noble purpose and we all know that went wrong to say the least. Sam becomes corrupted by the prison and letting his own ideals come before any rational thought, he makes assumptions on people and their decisions like crazy - and the kind of catalyst of everything is that Davy Jones assumes that Calypso had forsaken him, Sam would make an assumption like that if someone didn't show up for their first meeting in 10 years. Most notably though, Sam was the one to lock Dream away - it wasn't his idea, but he did it and Jones was the one to show the pirate lords of the time how to bind Calypso in human form. And this goes more into personal interpretation and my own take on Sam's internal dialogue, but while Sam definitely has these thoughts and feelings repressed half way to hell, I think he did have a thing for/loved Dream pre-prison in some way and there's definitely a feeling of betrayal on his end with the staged finale (he thought Dream was a good person and wanted the prison for the server so they could deal with any problems/for a good reason - then as it turns out Dream is "the bad guy" which just metaphorically stabs Sam in the heart.) - and it's a very prevalent thing in the third pirates with Jones denying his love for Calypso and going 'she betrayed me' and 'left me no choice' but still he later says to Calypso herself that his heart will always belong to her. And while Jones isn't on some moral superiority complex like Sam, I feel like they are similar and I also eternally stand by the fact that Sam was at the least a decent if not a good man before the prison, I do not care for the idea that "he was always like that and the prison just let him be his true self" or something like that whatsoever and it's noted that Jones WAS a decent guy before everything and that's part of why Calypso gave him the duty she did.

As for Dream and Calypso: Dream is inherently attached to the idea of the supernatural, his connection to the revival book namely and depending on what you consider canon the whole Dreamon situation - and also he was the one to in-state Sam as Warden. Also his ties to XD who looks like him, and I personally have the hc of him being a direct creation of XD. Dream also is notably unpredictable, challenging, fickle even - not unlike how the sea can be - frankly Dream can be a lot of things and so can the ocean, whether that be a lethal force that can tear down cities or the literal life blood of the planet. Also the whole "he ran afowl with that which vexes all men" line, referring to Calypso feels Dream, like he IS the smps most eligible bachelor.

Anyways I think most importantly I feel like Sam would be the type of guy to rip out his own heart so he doesn't feel guilt anymore if he could (cause he HAS to have some level of guilt buried in there, I mean, *I gesture to the interaction with Ponk post prison break where he literally tells Ponk to just kill him with his own sword amongst other things* - and Dream being attributed to the sea in all of its ever changing and challenging nature I think has some fun potential!

And to be fair this is like, far off from how I USUALLY approach awesamdream since I prefer to give them a happy ending/have things work out in one way or another but idk I feel like there's some vibes with this dynamic- anyways I hope this makes sense?? Again putting what I call "the vibes" into words is really difficult, but hey I tried.

Would anyone shoot me if I said the dynamic between Calypso and Davy Jones from POTC was Awesamdream coded--

[tobeornottotc]

Hi! in which episode do you think we are going to have the 'you dont trust me' scene because that scene is going to change me!!!

Hi!!

Probably episode 8/9... from what I'm tracking, these two relationship is about to go through a rollercoaster for the next episodes till then. The you don't trust me is probably the moment the two finally actually truthfully bare their feelings and let themselves confront what they are and what they feel. Kinn feels irritated probably once again as shown from the trailer Porsche's relationship with Vegas (people need to realise this is more than just jealousy, Kinn has a lot of reasons for why Vegas is an issue and why he goes crazy uncontrollably and protective around Porsche hanging out with him) but yes that's driving him crazy, my guess is Kinn although he's deep for Porsche and recognises the feelings it will set him back, he'd lie to himself it's just lust and because Porsche is hot and their chemistry is electric, but he won't accept it as love, so I think Porsche will feel mishandled and played with just because of that lack of clarity.

 Porsche is the same as well, we've seen how from episode 3 since Kinn saved his life, he's trying so hard to be someone important to Kinn, whether it's a great amazing bodyguard, or now a romantic partner worthy of his attention and trust, having him show that he's special more than others, Porsche is already striving unknowingly to have Kinn see him that way, to have Kinn confide in him, right now Kinn is one of the safety nets that makes him feel serious again and want to do more to protect and take his role seriously. Kinn is the one eliciting those happy feelings despite whatever angst or situation they find themselves in, even when he's morally conflicted, or attacked somehow he still when alone with Kinn feels happy and safe with Kinn more than anyone, protected, warm and taken care of, something others didn't do to him before. So that frustration of not fully getting what he is to Kinn will be his reason for screaming at him that he's not colluding with anyone, he doesn't even want to work for Vegas, he wants to be with him, that you don't trust me is his anger at Kinn refusing to let him be that person special to his heart, someone he can let in, unlike the others. Kinn's fickleness and flightiness is a thing he's noticing, (doesn't fully get why it's there) but it's what is his obstacle it seems for why he refuses to also show his feelings, by protecting himself when unsure about where he stands, Porsche also will hide and push away those feelings but he probably was vulnerable (maybe hurt by Kinn's issues) when Kinn sees him with Vegas again, and will infuriate him to see Kinn once again see him as a mole, or suspicious or against him, will make him snap, and slap him and tell him he's an idiot for not seeing how much Porsche has shifted most of his goals and interests to making sure Kinn is safe. 

That's what I'm guessing. It's going to be intense, and scary for both of them but it's going to be them without other factors causing lack of inhibitions, this time they truly are stripped bare of emotions, angst and fear, and they both finally snap from wanting to ensure the other one stops hurting themselves and what they have and seek clarity too. I am verye excited about this scene not just for what i can guess will follow after it but because Kinn will have to face himself, and deal with the truth, hence the mirrors there too, they both will have to expose their true selves no more masks. It's one of my most looked forward to apart from the wilderness scene and probably if they keep it from the mock trailer (will you lie here with me for the night when Kinn is injured).

Thank you for the question anon :)

[eyeofthemoongame]

Hello! This isn't really an ask, but I just want to say how much I appreciate this story and maybe also provide words of encouragement. Oh, and sorry if im coming off as formal, too much academic writing melts any other kind of writing style haha. That and maybe this myt get super long, i have a lot to say and im new to this hehe

Im super young, still in my twenties, but life in my province back in Visayas, (especially as a child) was characterized by green rice fields, roiling seas, fresh fruit and carabao filled rivers. Sure, there was danger and fear even then. But those days were also warm and filled with love. Now there are malls, fast wifi, and the rivers have cement walls. In addition to that, the shores that I played in during my childhood have changed as well, growing higher and higher, even during low tide, and its medyo frightening to watch as my home seems to change before my very eyes. Sure, if you go to the more rural areas, you can still see green, but the mountains have changed their shape, and every time I go back to those same areas it gets a bit more jarring every time. But your descriptive setting made me remember the earlier days. Suddenly, it felt like I could see how the mountains looked like again, how clear and untouched the rivers were and maybe even picture the seas I grew up with and played in. You gave me that warmth again.

I also super enjoyed how you wrote the relationship between our MC and the parents, the way you described how they deboned the fish and gave the meat to the mc and how you described how the food was served and even cooked, it was fucking amazing! Food is ingrained in our culture, so many polite practices surround it and i feel like you've captured an unspoken, caring kind of thing that we do for people that we love. Hell my amah ( lola in fil-chi culture) served us our own fish and mango the same way you described! I also love how you wrote the parents relationship. Back then sa pre-colonial times we still had gender roles, but they were so different! Gimme some time, and maybe if i work up the courage again, maybe I’d go on a rant on how the Spanish set back the Philippines on gender shit and progressive ideals—I digress. It’s refreshing to read and so soft, i can’t even explain how soft it made me feel.

I absolutely love this game. I dont know how to explain it without devolving into incoherent gushing, but I do. From the first page palang, I can feel the love and care that has gone into the writing and characterization. How you wrote our culture, and how you reply to pa sa mga asks, mehn I cannot begin to describe how inspiring this entire IF is. With this though, I’d like to finally segue into my words of encouragement (which you can take with a pinch of salt).

When this get bigger (and it will im sure! im such a huge fan man) you'll get pinoys and peeps who will dive in and say na you are doing our culture a disservice or some shit, na you are taking the stuff you want lang and making it palatable/sanitized for people who is outside of our culture. Pinoys can be toxic, ive mostly avoided it, but the freaking hypocrisy when it comes to #PNOYPRIDE is hella blegh. But I digress- when this happens and it gets too much, remember na these peeps should just go kick rocks kay they are barking up the wrong tree. I’m not an expert, I’m not a history major who specializes in pre-colonial Philippine history, but I can say as a person who grew up surrounded by folklore, traditional dances, and songs; that our stories? They are as fallible and as fickle as human nature itself.

These stories weren't written down, we didn't have Pilandok and Biag ni Lamang because a bunch of peeps sat down and wrote these stories. And even if they did have written it down, those written copies are gone, burnt away by white men who thought their God demanded it. No, these stories were passed down by oral tradition. And with each retelling, stuff gets muddled, details changed, morals updated to suit the times, and translations get fucked. But it’s still the same stories. Our dances and songs are treated the same way. Dances are shortened, songs are interpreted and sung differently, does it mean that this takes away their value from them?

This whole blog an amazing, wonderful thing. So much of our culture has been locked away behind foreign academic libraries. And what you are doing is taking these tattered fragments and piecing them together in such a way that a new legend has come from it. So few of these stories remain, I want to read more stories set in our mythology. One can argue that our past is way too bloody to be worth writing about. And its true, our Pre-colonial history is bloody and fucked up, but aren't all cultures? I don't think that we were given the opportunity to love it or to hate it, to cultivate the pride for it and learn from it. And the only records of a solid understanding of the various pre-colonial way of life is written by white men who called it dirty, backward and dehumanizing, thus setting the tone of how its told for centuries.

I want to encourage you, and i dearly hope that this message did this job, because I love my roots and I want to be proud of it, to accept it the way other cultures have accepted theirs. What you are doing is amazing. You're amazing! The love and care that you put into it, the new story and legend that you are providing us— I cannot begin to say how much I needed this. Tbh I almost cried, first chapter plang, because of how much care went into this. And I want to thank you for that. Thank you for making something so precious and loved. Thankyou for allowing us to read something so close to you, its made me so happy talaga. It's humbling, and very much so in a good way.

Ill end it here, kay this has become a 1k essay. But I just had to say it. Its like 3 am here and i have so many (academic) papers to do. But I just had to you how much I love and appreciate this. Congrats on your demo! And thankyou so much for giving me ( and the rest of the IF community ) the opportunity to read this.

Ingat ate maarte! And may you be blessed po!

anon eye—WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me and i'm a little overwhelmed at how thoughtful and kind and genuine this message is!! 🥺😭

this sort of connection between me and you and our other kababayan is TRULY what motivates me to write and i'm honestly so touched. thank you so much for writing this out and sharing this with me 💗and don't worry about being too formal at all!

putting the rest under a cut to be kind on the dashboard bc my response kinda turned into an artist talk haha

showing our people's respect for the land was a priority for me in this story. pre colonial filipinos (like many indigenous groups) had such a deep relationship with nature and understood how to care for the land like it takes care of us. this is what inspired the themes of balance in eotm; there's a constant give and take between mortals and deities and taking advantage of the other or taking the other for granted leads to decay.

the family interactions were really important to me too! i was writing eotm over the summer, when i finally got to see my extended family after over a year of pandemic to celebrate my lolo's birthday. it was a really joyful experience and after everything that's been happening i was just really struck with a profound sense of gratitude that we were able to all see each other again because i knew that a lot of people weren't able to say that. and so i wanted to convey that very deep sense of familial love in this story; of understanding people well enough to perceive how they give and receive love; of reconnecting with people that will always love you no matter how long you've been apart. god i'm tearing up again now 😭

and yes there were "gender roles" back then but not necessarily in the same hierarchical framework as the western context. my understanding is that men and women played different roles in society but there wasn't a reinforcement of patriarchy or cisheteronormativity like there is now after the spanish poisoned our culture and forced their religion onto us. and so the way i have translated that into eotm is to subvert the roles between lakapati and mapulon. lakapati is the one that mostly tends to the fields and works while mapulon tends to the house and cooks and handles their social calls. lakapati is even taller than mapulon. and i intentionally don't really bring attention to this subversion within the text. it simply just is.

i really appreciate your words of encouragement re: #pinoypride bc honestly, that had been one of my biggest worries. i was born in the philippines but moved to the states when i was a kid. i've been on the internet long enough to witness the diaspora wars lmao. there will inevitably be people who receive eotm in the way you described, and before i ever even published this game i accepted that. creators of color, especially those who are women and also queer, are put under a severe magnifying glass. there's always going to be someone whose standards of purity i will not meet.

i understand that narrative scarcity makes all of us very protective of how our stories are told and so flaws within the work are exaggerated. there's such a lack of stories like this and so every scrap of representation matters. but i've never hidden the fact that this is a work of FICTION and that i'm taking a good bit of my own creative liberties in order to make the story work the way i want it to work. like yes this story is representative of filipino culture and history, but also i want to make my hot OCs kiss you feel me? 😂

also i'm clearly not entertaining these white folk at ALL lmao so i just hope those people save us both the trouble and block me from the get go 🤷🏽‍♀️

really appreciate everything you said—nothing but the truth! 😤 thanks again for being on this ride with me 💗

[life-rewritten]

True Beauty; Problematic Bullies and Strained Friendships

Can I just say that these two episodes of true beauty have left me again with so much anger and disappointment? I've just spent the last 30 minutes sighing and shaking my head and cursing some of these stupid, frustrating characters. Now it's not even Soojin I'm cursing surprisingly, I have a different bone to pick with her, and a different perspective, but it's everyone in that stupid school, society, just everyone who switched at the end of episode 12. Now I did see it coming, but the fact that it's the same video of Kyung being treated like an animal that is what got them to switch without any morals or understanding, or pity, is so disgusting to me. I'm left cursing all the people who were Kyung's friend, who supported her and then just left her by her self to deal with this because of pettiness and anger that she lied to them. Make it make sense. The characters in this show sometimes act like one-dimensional puppets just doing whatever is the status quo, robotically seeing someone as of less worth because of their looks, feeling cheated for no reason (like she's not even friends with some of these people) because someone 'ugly' is hiding behind makeup, like what? It doesn't add up. Anyway apart from the focus on bullying which I will be breaking down more, I'm glad to see the tag and social media is less focused on the love triangle and more understanding about Suho now, I mean why not, he's a good boyfriend, but what I actually wanted to praise was the depiction of friendship with Suho, Seyeon and Seojun, and Suho and Seojun's journey in reuniting their bond again. It made me cry a few times, and it was very heartwarming. But it's just depleting my energy, even more, when I have to contrast it with Soojin's downfall. Sigh what a depressing reveal as a villain. Anyway, I have a lot of thoughts so let's get to it.

THE PROBLEM WITH BULLYING

What I like about True Beauty is that it does these interesting foreshadows/mirroring to certain situations that the audience will soon see show up. In episode 11, Suho is broken down and haunted by the reveal of what happened to his best friend however the show fleshes out and gives us more information, and depth to Seyeon as a character and the intense friendship between the three boys. At first, I wondered where this flashback would lead us to; however, I started to notice the similarities, the foreboding trajectory of Kyung's storyline in episode 11/12 to Seyeon's own betrayal and downfall.

Seyeon's story of how he became framed by his bullies once they discovered he was famous is so startling and similar to how JK's ruin takes place. She got immensely known and was put in the spotlight, and then because of a bully and someone she calls a friend; she was also framed differently as being someone who she isn't. The same reasons why Seyeon was attacked was because he lied about who he was, he had a lot of people who loved and admired him, and his reveal betrayed them, he was set up because of coldness, callousness and manipulation. This is the same with Kyung by the end of episode 12.

Let's talk about how True Beauty shows bullying as a focus; We have different characters that are connected, affected and pushed to the brink because of bullying. We also have the bullies some surprising; some just disgusting and frustrating, but also society plays a role in this bullying as well. Let's look at the characters:

Seyeon: Framed and Misunderstood 

First of all, it's heartbreaking to know more about what happened to Seyeon in the past, and it's even painful to know his story ended. From what I'm getting from his life story, Seyeon was quiet, shy, introverted but I think he also was a bully victim. He changed his name to Seyeon when he moved and found Suho and Seojun, and because of them, he learnt to fall more in love with his passion; music. (This is so eerily similar to Kyung changing her past, also finding her own passion and happiness which is makeup). Now he felt alone all his life before this because he was getting bullied and finally he got his debut as a star, and he managed to become more confident, successful and happy.

The problem is his bullies weren't letting go (like the frustrating harpies of Park Se Mi), they decided to make his life hell, so they posted a rumour, that Seyeon wasn't who he said he was (which might be true, he changed his identity probably to run away from the past) but they also made up more about him, they framed him instead as the bullies, and they twisted his story. Because of their actions, and Seoyeon feeling like his past was brought back, when he ran to Suho to ask for help, he felt like Suho believed the news and broke down in despair by himself in anxiety, probably PTSD and depression and he took his life.

Now let's pause there for a minute because we now know how this affected Suho significantly, but this is how True Beauty emphasises the amount of pain, suffering and anxiety Kyung ends up in, in episode 12. The same heartbreak, the same fear, the same worries, and the same comments and people dragging her down because of her looks. Now with Seyeon, as much as I hate cancelling nature, and social media bullying, the reveal that he was a bully, despite it not being real, I can understand some of the reactions people would have against him because as we're seeing, bullies in Korean Culture aren't cute, they're worse than other bullies, they drive people to take their lives with the extent of physical, emotional and psychological harm they inflict on someone. People thinking Seyeon was one of those people is quite shocking and should be called out; however compare this to Kyung's own situation.

Whilst Seyeon was being attacked for a valid reason from society, Kyung was being attacked for being ugly. Like compare causing harm to people by psychologically and emotionally abusing them to not having the perfect face structure, having acne because you were born that way, like compare that to what Seyeon was being blamed for. Does that make sense? And the frustrating thing about it is Kyung has a right to hide if she wants to under makeup, it's not like people have really given her a choice to avoid taking things this way. The upsetting thing about this is it's not just a picture of Kyung's face that is causing this uproar of feeling betrayed. It's not a picture where she seems happy and safe, and her life is unbothered by these things she has to hide. But it's a video of her being treated as less than a human, a video where she is being taunted and spoken to vilely, a video where she's having trash tossed on her, and she's breaking down psychologically and emotionally. A video where she's genuinely being denounced for being born.

It's unsettling. And it's ironic because Seyeon was being attacked and talked about by righteous teens about bullying and being woke about people who do this, but really society just stands by idly and judge someone because they're ugly. Being ugly is apparently enough reason for why bullying is okay, it's enough because she apparently shouldn't be allowed to live her life how she wants, it's so sick, they'd throw pitchforks at Seyeon for being the bully of people but also turn a blind eye and join in with bullying a girl because she doesn't fit their natural standards of beauty? It's sick.  It's unsettling, and it calls out the hypocrisy of people, people who just want to see people lower than them suffer. What gives them the right to speak about Kyung this way? What makes them superior to her? Because they're pretty? Because they don't have acne? Like what is the problem? Why are they so butthurt by her hiding her face with makeup and looking good. I just don't understand it. I'm very emotional about this as you can tell, so I'm going to have to move on, I just wanted the parallel of Seyeon and Kyung's storyline to be noticed.

Kyung; Ignored and Betrayed

Let's focus on Kyung in episode 11/12. She goes through her normal anxiety and worries, and at first, she doesn't communicate her fears to Suho. But I have to say that Kyung was starting to realise that she couldn't be paralysed by her PTSD. Actually, she bravely goes to Soojin to confess about Suho which I was so proud of her for, but she also goes back to save Hyemi from her bullies despite her anxiety and worry she'll get found out. Her concern was valid, stopping Semi was going to put a target on her back, and also Hyemi betrayed her before, so she has every right to feel some kind of way towards her. However, despite that, Kyung stood up for someone else in her position again. And it's something that I love about her, and I think she'll probably find her dream job doing, later on, we've seen her do this with Gowoon and help her come of her anxiety and depression and put makeup on her to get confidence and sing in front of people.

We saw her protect Hyemi this episode; I'm sure that's what she'll do in the future is help girls like her who feel the same broken, fear, and pain at how they were born. She'll be someone who stands up and helps them regain their confidence like Selena did for her. It's really inspiring and wonderful to see her find that passion slowly and make her dreams come true in that way. Kyung helping Hyemi shows her character, and she could have been like these slimy people and try and get revenge or be annoyed at her forever, but she just walks away and lets her be and prevents her from ending up in the same state she was in, in episode 1.  The sad, painful truth is Kyung has been proven right, why she was so afraid to trust people, to tell people about who she really was, why she struggled with trusting Suho with the information, people are fickle, and they switch based on shallow things, like appearance, popularity, money etc. Kyung's friends proved to her that she was right to not trust them with it, even Soojin who was meant to be her helping hand sat there (I mean she's the person who caused it) but she sat there and watched Kyung deal with her break down. It's just so messed up.

Hyemi; Forced and Tormented

Speaking of Hyemi, Hyemi also showed the same reasons for why Kyung has been so scared and worried about everything; these bullies are so weird, they make it their life goal to keep someone as their victim under this messed up of form of slavery and ownership. Hyemi ran away after feeling guilty of what happened to Kyung, she reported Semi and her harpies and tried to restart her life. Like Kyung, however, she got caught immediately, and we see what would have happened if Kyung hadn't leaned in heavily to makeup at the start. She won't be able even to walk the streets without those bullies finding her and getting her back under their abuse. And it's so disgusting. Semi is so worrying as a person; sometimes I feel like she deserves jail for all the pain she causes to people. She takes pleasure in breaking people down because she's afraid they'd take away her spotlight? I don't really understand this type of need for power, but it's disgusting. As much as Hyemi disappointed me in episode 1, she has no choice like Kyung but to betray her friend because it's soul-crushing the type of bullying, her and Kyung go through because of these girls. She has no choice in the matter because even when she tries to do good, they find her and they make her life even more hellish, and because she's 'ugly' as people keep saying, no one helps her, like with Kyung. They sit by and watch and say she deserves it. And the one person who does help every time has also been transformed because of her own bullying situation. And it's again heartbreaking.

Soojin; Regressed and Transformed

So remember how I said that Soojin is not who I'm cursing by the end of this episode. I'm so angry and upset at her; I was also disappointed with the writing because it's basic and I detest girl hate. Soojin's character has now been ruined officially; there's no way she can come back from her actions this episode. She's become essentially like Semi, and it's painful to watch. First of all, she tried to pretend things were okay in episode 11, she did try, but her feelings and her reliance on Suho was more critical, and as much as I hate her, I can understand her desperation.

Suho is the only person who knows and can help her with her own bullying situation. She's being even more bullied harshly by her own father, she's also being psychologically, emotionally and physically tormented and she can't escape this person. It's haunting. And it's heartbreaking because she doesn't truly have friends (apart from Kyung) because she's always the one people rely on (like Suho), she's put in this state of always being the person who defends, and fights, and protects and does what's right. Her life is seen as privileged, and great, and wealthy, and she has everything even the looks that Kyung desperately suffers because of. She's always had to rely on her strength and her self and her brains, but when she's broken and exhausted and needs someone to run to; Suho was that person, and now Kyung was making Suho not be able to be that person.

Her mindset is ruined because she can't find anyone else to turn to, her father is just as influential as Suho's father and the school won't protect her from him and need her good grades to stay with the reputation they seek, no adult can defeat her father, and so she's stuck. It's so worrying, watching her run into her room and she couldn't escape him because he was pounding on the door determined to enter and hit her more. And her mother is spineless and lets it happen, so Soojin is the most broken character and the most alone out of everyone in the show. Kyung is going through a lot of trauma, and her situation is so messed up but Kyung at the end of the day has Suho, she has Seojun as well, though she doesn't know the extent, she has her family even though her mum is not the best, she has her dad, her sister etc. Soojin has no one to run to. Kyung can't do anything to help her with the situation, and Kyung is taking away the one thing that probably could help her in her opinion.

Everyone is quick to hate and judge Soojin but her character arc makes sense because at the end of the day there is really no other place to run to, to avoid regressing into self-harm (washing her hands till they bleed and crack) but to put that pain on others, to feel resentment, jealousy, anger and desperation to get rid of an obstacle. Sadly, she had to endure this torment and become a shell of her self because she's now going to take it too far and it won't be forgivable if she keeps on making Kyung feel like she shouldn't be alive. It won't be right no matter what. And we see how far she can go by her actions in episode 12. She may be the typical second lead female we wanted her not to be, but she's written well, and her trajectory makes sense. I just hope she reforms before it's too late.

So bullying is a big deal in True Beauty, it's what's really causing all our characters to spiral into the trauma and pain they are in. Suho and Seojun may not be bullied, but they're co-products of it, by losing Seyeon they also had to suffer because of what bullying does. In a world where the adults aren't truly dependable, are more distracted by the need for reputation, status and fame, and act inhumanely when it comes to the suffering of these teens, who could really help our characters? They're all going through their pain and trauma alone and being pushed to the point of seeing life as futile and empty. Everyone in true beauty is a victim of this callous society and adults. And it's unsettling.

THE FRIENDSHIPS THAT WERE STRAINED

But this post is also about friendship. One thing that also was mirrored was the importance of friendship; if the teens all join together to protect their peers, if they all show unity and love and understanding to someone, they could save a life. Friendship apart from Kyung's was really great to see. However, there was a parallel with Suho and Seojun and Kyung and Soojin. I also wanted to say the annoying implications that women friendships have to always to be this way is frustrating; women aren't always conniving and manipulative and fickle when it comes to love, it's sad to see Suho and Seojun discuss so happily and calmly about liking the same girl and in the same episode watch Kyung break down and be brutally betrayed because Soojin liked the same guy as her. Like what message are you putting out? More on the bromance of Seojun, Suho and Seyeon. I find it fascinating because for so long, I wondered why this friendship was so important, like why these three are so tied to each other. But after episode 11 to 12, it's obvious. Like I said these three had had their own volatile situations that made them feel all alone and empty even Seojun actually and finding each other was what ignited their passion for life and brought them happiness and joy. Let me explain more in each character's pov.

Suho; Neglected and Withdrawn

Suho had struggled with a father figure and resentment at the whole world, he had to become self-providing basically and had no emotional support. It's so lonely to hear him talk about how alone he was from a very young age, his father was already distant from him (neglectful probably couldn't handle the mother's death but he also was cheating, so it's a bit ironic), he had no one to live with, and he had to take care of himself alone. But also there was resentment for his father because of the paparazzi tormenting him when he was younger, he felt suffocated by the reputation, popularity and status of his father and his father wasn't there to help him with that. You could say it's because Suho pushed him away, but no it's still a duty as a father to fight to come in and spend time with your son, to ask how he's doing, to check in on him in his house like how has he never once tried to force Suho to spend time with him and communicate their differences? Sigh.

So anyway the reason why Suho needed Seyeon and Seojun is because it was the first time he had people to run to and talk to, and it ignited this passion in him to do something he loves. Music. It's actually depressing when we see his phone in episode 12, he has no contacts apart from Kyung, his father, and maybe the high school guy—like Suho had no one for a long time until he met Kyung again.  But we also see his transformation in this episode, because he's more animated, lively, happy because yes Kyung and him are in love but also because Seojun is back into his life. Seojun and him basically reunite. Despite teasing and acting gruff and emotionless with each other, (because they've been separated for a while) they finally have each other again, they're still close. They still care for each other immensely; they're each others priority. And it's so sweet to watch despite the one painful thing about Seojun having feelings for Kyung.  But even then Seojun staying over at Suho's house and them laughing, and fighting and acting up, even Kyung noticed how different Suho had become. And I don't know it just made my heart warm. So that's what friendship was for Suho, he had two people who he was devoted to, who made him want to have something in life and be trusting again of people. They cared for him and nurtured him in their own way and helped him feel not alone. So congrats to Suho and Seojun reuniting.

Seojun; Responsibility and Pressure

  And now Seojun is a fascinating character. I tend to avoid analysing him because he's always happy, has a comfortable lifestyle; good friends, a good mum, a sister who cares about so much, etc. His life apart from the angst with Seyeon is so problem-free. He doesn't need to be jealous or sad, or traumatised because he's in a suitable environment mentally and he also is a good person. But let's go back to the past before Seyeon's demise. Seojun probably also felt alone and empty. Let me explain Seojun mentions that he used to envy Suho because of his wealth, his father in his life and his reputation. This makes us realise what Seojun thought he lacked, he apparently struggled a bit with poverty and not always having everything; he also didn't have a father figure in his life. In fact, we praise how good he is as a son, but it must have been so difficult to become the responsible man of the house as we put it when he was younger, one he had to worry about his mum's health, and take care and provide for her, two, he had to take care and protect his sister hence why he's so protective, he had a lot of responsibility on his shoulders to deal with.

And I think the one time he felt free and happy at first was probably when he made music with Suho and Seyeon. Because he doesn't have to think about responsibilities, or how to help his mum and more, so that's probably what he gained from their friendship a place to just be a teen and have fun. Obviously it's revealed, Suho helped his mom when she was ill, and that was heartwarming again to find out because these three were so protective and caring for each other, so loyal and bonded, and I think it's precious to see that. Obviously, after Seyeon's downfall, Seojun was resentful, angry and frustrated and he joined his gang of new friends, and they're so sweet, and just as devoted to him, it also made him more rebellious and more prone to fights because he had anger to let out but also his mum started to get better, so he was still frustrated and depressed about the circumstances but he had somewhere else to fall on, his new friends and his taking his anger out when he could. The only thing that probably was very hurtful more than just Seyeon was choosing to give on his dreams for music. However now he and Suho have reunited I think his music will come back, that passion is between him and Suho, and it's their dream.

Seyeon; Alone and Afraid

And well from my analysis you know what these two meant to Seoyeon, his letter is so heartbreaking and also beautiful because like they were all he had. And they just helped him find that confidence, that passion for life and companionship that he needed. And it's so sad he's not still with them. However Seyeon was truly a victim, and because of his influence on both Suho and Seojun, it's why they'd be able to help Kyung deal with everything she has to deal with in the next episodes. Because of Seoyeon, and also because his sister is the same as Kyung, Seojun is very protective and determined to prevent more losses in his life. Suho was at the rooftop and helped Kyung, stayed by her side and understood her when she had no one else making her feel loved for who she was because of Seyeon's effect on him. He also was determined not to have someone else end up in that situation. Because of this, they both will be able to help her get through it, and that's why I'm not as frightened or worried about her because she has these two great guys who won't stand back and let her do this on her own.

As much as true beauty is about a love triangle  between these three, it's also a really touching friendship between all of them. Kyung becomes like the weird replacement (not really) for Seyoeon because she brings back that passion and zeal into these two's lives, and she provides a companionship to them that is different from others, they also do the same for her. So I'm delighted despite the heartbreaks and loss that they found each other, I'm glad they're friends at the end of the day, they care about each other a lot, and even if Seojun somehow ends up the third wheel and the one that's left out a bit, I'm glad that his friendship with Kyung and Suho is still more important to him than vindictiveness or jealousy. Then again, like I said Seojun compared to Soojin is in a different headspace, environment and has more from life than she does. Her mistakes and her betrayal hurts, but it makes sense, I just hope she grows and changes before it's too late. I hope she finds love, peace and happiness someday. Everyone deserves that.

[chiseler]

Hero of Our Nation

I first encountered Roger Ramjet on a Chicago public access station in 1983. It was part of an early morning show apparently aimed at stoner insomniacs. The show came on at five and also included episodes of Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp, that awful Beatles cartoon, and a weather report clarified by some appropriate pop song (“Here Comes the Sun” or “Here Comes the Rain Again”). I was usually up and around that early for some godforsaken reason, and originally started watching on account of Lancelot Link. Always did love that Lancelot Link. But Roger Ramjet was, well, let’s just say it was a revelation.

Roger Ramjet, “ that All-American good guy and devil may care flying fool” (as he compulsively introduces himself) was a none too bright and none too coordinated drug-dependent space age superhero in an ongoing battle against the assorted forces of evil (or more specifically, N.A.S.T.Y.) to preserve the American Way of Life. He was square-jawed, straight-laced, straight-faced, and True Blue if little else, so hyper-patriotic that nearly every time his name is spoken aloud an American flag, a bald eagle, or a rotating ring of stars appears on the screen. After catching one or two episodes, I forgot all about Lancelot Link.

The show was easy to overlook, especially when squeezed between the Beatles and some secret agent chimps with a psychedelic band. The episodes were only five minutes long (maybe seven with the abrasive theme song filling out the opening and closing credits), and were so crudely drawn and animated it might at a glance seem like something a couple of junior high school kids threw together in their basement one weekend. The shows were so primitive they hardly bothered with niceties like “backgrounds” satisfied instead to settle for rudimentary suggestions of a setting. But the writing was so sharp and the voice talent so good what it really felt like, if you paid attention, was a spoof of a ‘40s radio serial like Sky King or Gangbusters, complete with a soap opera organ and illustrated by a handful of jerky drawings scratched out by someone’s kid. People who thought Jay Ward’s Bullwinkle and Dudley Do-Right were crude when compared with the output from Disney or Warner Brothers had no idea what “crude” meant. 

Looking at it today what it reminds me of more than anything are the paper cutout animations of the earliest episodes of South Park, before they upgraded to Flash. Along with the lo-fi stylistics, the humor was clearly aimed at an adult audience while pretending otherwise.  You may not find any child molestation jokes or crass religious cracks in Roger Ramjet, but for 1965 the lightning-fast humor was pretty hepcat and sophisticated, with undisguised satirical references to the Cold War, Central American turmoil, and the  Vietnam War (“Hey kids, this is Roger Ramjet,” demanding that you stay tuned to this station to see my next adventure,” Roger announces in his commanding superhero baritone. “Or I’ll see to it that all you little rascals are drafted.”) . Mixed in with the topical jokes we also get some highly unlikely name drops, from Noel Coward and Henry Cabot Lodge to James Joyce and bawdy nightclub performer Rusty Warren, as well as film parodies and  literary nods to the likes of Catch-22 and Catcher in the Rye.  It’s also a little less than what you might call racially sensitive by modern standards (consider Mexican revolutionaries The Enchilada Brothers, Beef and Chicken).

While a lot of the more timely jokes might be lost in the murk of the over 50 years since it first aired, there’s plenty of rapid-fire absurdity that’s timeless, from the misspelled title cards punctuating the narration to the self-consciously dumb coked-up adventures.

Bullwinkle aired from ‘61 to ‘64. Roger Ramjet came along a year later and Jay Ward’s influence is undeniable. The difference was Roger Ramjet crammed the equivalent number of bad jokes, references, and plot twists of a typical 8-part Bullwinkle serial into each five-minute episode, both mirroring the rapid-fire screwball dialogue of the ‘30s and the frenetic quick-cut comedy to come along a year or two later in shows like The Monkees and Laugh-In.

The episodes were produced with essentially no budget and were cranked out very quickly by a small team of writers, voiceover artists and animators with solid day jobs in radio and TV. They were all seasoned pros, some dating back to the days of classic radio, who worked on the show after hours as a way of letting off a little steam and tossing around a few cynical, subversive  cultural jabs their day jobs wouldn’t allow. The show was created originally by animator Fred Crippen  (who went on to work on some pretty dreadful crap like the Extreme Ghostbusters  and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) and Ken Snyder, an ad exec who moved over into producing cartoons. They brought in a remarkable team of voice talent and comedy writers, including Gene Moss (the voice of Smokey the Bear) Jim Thurmam (who did a lot of kids shows including Sesame Street), Dick Beals (the original voice of Gumby), and the great Gary Owens, a drive-time deejay in LA who would get national recognition soon enough as the on-screen announcer for Laugh-In. Although they would all get specific credits in the end (Crippen as director, Moss as a writer) it was a communal effort, in which everyone contributed to the writing, and everyone, even the executive producer, did a few of the voices. Apart from the regular crew, careful listeners might also catch a few uncredited guest appearances by some surprisingly big names (I’m told Sinatra and Dean Martin appear in an episode, but I’m still looking for that one). Owens was the star, though, as his ability to read the most ridiculous lines in a dramatic deadpan made him the perfect Roger Ramjet. Together they made 156 episodes (about 150 still exist), which were sold directly into syndication in ‘65 as half hour shows, each containing three unconnected adventures. I can’t say as I’m exactly sure who they thought their target audience was at the time, except maybe each other.

Much like William Conrad in Bullwinkle, each show opened with our narrator, Steve Allen alum Dave Ketchum, setting the mood and the scene (“In today’s depressing episode,” he’d begin with dramatic enthusiasm, or maybe it was an “existentialist episode,” “phlegmatic episode,” “rickety episode,”  “hairy episode,” or “ethnic episode”). Then we’re out of the gate at a breakneck pace, with a flurry of gags coming from every direction. “Ramjet rode into Boot Hill,” we’re told,  “where the men were men and the women were men, which can get pretty old after awhile.”

While none of the shows are connected, there are a few recurring characters and locations worth remembering: Roger hails from Lompoc, an actual California town (“where nothing ever happens, and seldom does”) and  takes his orders from General G.I. Brassbottom, a no nonsense military man who “hadn’t had an original idea since he was a civilian.” He’s also assisted by Yank, Doodle, Dan, and Dee, the unusually chubby  kids who make up the American Eagle squadron. Like Roger, all the members of the squadron wear their white jumpsuits and flight helmets at all times (Roger even wears his helmet on dates), and in true superhero sidekick fashion, their primary job is to get Roger out of scrapes and make sure his drugs are handy. 

That’s one little detail more than a few casual viewers have taken umbrage with. Roger, see, is a pretty hapless character most of the time, but he repeatedly saves the world thanks to a little help from his Proton Energy Pills (PEP), which take five seconds to kick in, then give him the strength of 20 A-Bombs for 20 seconds. Modern viewers seem a little uncomfortable with the idea of a superhero gulping amphetamines in order to function, but all I can say is, well, it was a different time, and hey, it worked for Roger and Elvis both.

The proton energy pills come in handy when dealing with his arch-nemesis Noodles Romanoff, the short, trench coat and fedora wearing head of N.A.S.T.Y. (the National Association of Spies, Traitors, and Yahoos). Romanoff may not have a Natasha, but he does have a gang of cronies and thugs who all mumble in unison (save for one, who can’t seem to get the rhythm). 

Along with Romanoff and his gang, Roger also has to contend with some lanky alien robots, the Solenoids (voiced by executive priducer Ken Snyder), and their repeated efforts to invade the planet in assorted ridiculous ways (in one episode, they begin kidnapping all the Miss America contestants, who “were disappearing faster than co-eds at a Dartmouth weekend.”)

When not saving the world, Roger found himself competing with the smarmy hotshot test pilot Lance Crossfire (who sounds an awful lot like burt Lancaster) for the affections of Lotta Love, the fickle Southern belle with a taste for the finer things in life.

Then there are the adventures themselves. Some seem standard superhero fare, but only to a point. Earth is besieged by flying saucer attacks (sort of). Roger’s hometown is terrorized by a werewolf (sort of). Roger plays tennis with a kangaroo, or becomes the first man to surf in space,  or, in a personal favorite, attempts to stop the flow of bootleg comic books into America’s drug stores.

Actually, there’s an interesting moment in that one that revealed just how subtle you could be even with animation this unsophisticated. Okay, so Noodles Romanoff, see, is replacing real comics in drug store racks with bootlegs in which popular superheroes are humiliated, all in an effort to destroy the morale of America’s children. After Brassbottom shows Roger a few examples (the issues include “Superman Gets Beat Up by a Chicken!” and “Ratman Stubs His Toe!”) he explains that if this sort of thing continues, “America’s kids won’t have anyone to look up to except YOU, Ramjet.” Then, for just an instant in that crude and jerky style, Roger cuts his eyes toward the camera, revealing in that moment everything we needed to know, namely that it’s what he’s always wanted.

Thirty years on and that still sticks with me.

In the end, though, the characters and storylines are secondary at best In Roger Ramjet. At heart it’s  a matter of trying to keep up with all the lightning-quick  jokes and wordplay, the non-sequiturs and references. In the five minute span of one cowboy-themed episode I counted nods to at least seven classic Western films, from High Noon to She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, and I suspect I missed a few. It really is such a dizzying blur of dialogue and bad puns and cultural references, sometimes, christ, even just references to old jokes that take the form of bad puns (“Waiter, there’s a spy in my soup” or “how many angels can swim in the head of a beer?”), that absurd as it all is, repeated viewings are a necessity to catch everything. It’s a bit like having the complete contents of an issue of MAD magazine jammed onto a single page. It can make your head hurt after a while, but it’s worth it. Whether the density and the pace make it better or worse for stoner viewing is something, I guess, each stoner will need to answer for him or herself. Lots of bright colors, though.

In 1965 there was nothing new about making cartoons with adult sensibilities in mind. Betty Boop and Bugs Bunny were made to be shown as short subjects to largely adult audiences. Jay Ward’s cartoons a few decades down the line were near-revolutionary for smuggling hip, subversive political humor into what had become an exclusively child-friendly format. What made Roger Ramjet so radical was it’s blend of ‘30s radio style with mid-’60s cynicism, as well as its foreshadowing of our shrinking attention spans, a hyper-condensed proton pill of comedy and commentary disguised as just another dumb, low-rent superhero cartoon. Although it’s barely remembered today, its influence is still evident in most any subversive animated show you can name, even if they’ve slowed things down a bit.

by Jim Knipfel

[sylvies-chen]

Chicago PD's Characters and the Role of Reform: an Analysis (???)

Hi everyone! The finales of One Chicago aired a couple of weeks ago by now but I've been preparing this post in my head ever since PD's finale aired. I wanted to talk/write about each character's (and maybe even the writers') interpretation of police reform and how it affects the plot. This will also talk about police reform in general. Before I start, I'd just like to state that this will be a bit long and probably biased since a lot of it is influenced by my own views on reform. I'm not interested in debating people on the internet, just putting out interesting perspective on an interesting TV show. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and feel free to add thoughts of your own— as long as they’re respectful!

Chicago PD's handling of reform in this season was far from perfect but I did enjoy a few things they did with it. We had Kevin, a POC, stand up and fight back when even the people closest to him tried to shut him down. I did have some issue with the way they reduced Kevin's entire set of beliefs/morals to something so trivial and disrespectful as a "woke card" but I think the writers chose to do that on purpose to show how blinded white people can be sometimes. It's more the characters using that term, not the writers, which I thought was a good move since in both situations— Kevin v. Voight in 8x02 and Kevin v. Adam in 8x16– they made sure it's clear that Kevin is in the right. Voight may have been frustrated and Adam may have been spiraling over losing Kim (love me some #Burzek), but Kevin was still in the right. If only we could have some more varied representation on this show! That way, Kevin wouldn’t have to be used as the emotional punching bag all the time for these white characters and their misplaced frustrations with the system (added onto their personal frustrations which fluctuate on a episode-to-episode basis).

Now, onto the view on reform because this is where it gets interesting. I'm going to go ahead and say something that might be controversial: I think the majority of conflicts in this season have come from a gross misinterpretation of the concept of reform. This is especially highlighted in the finale when we see Adam saying he should be able to change/bend/break the rules to save someone he loves. It's also shown in the case with Miller's son Darrell and how they need to break the rules to save him, the case in 8x11 that Hailey considers breaking the rules for. It could even be loosely applies to 8x06 when Jay feels the need to break the rules only slightly in order to serve proper justice for their victim's father. Proper justice, in this case for Jay, being mercy towards the father and doing what's right in Jay's mind. Notice a common theme? These characters who are against reform (I know Voight was so good most of the season but he still falls into that category because of the first and last two episodes) all have one thing in common: the way they view reform. Voight, Hailey, and Adam, somewhere along the line (in my opinion), have all come to think of reform as a social push to get police officers to adhere to the proper guidelines when in reality, that's only a small fraction of an otherwise complex concept. Reform isn't all about getting police to follow the rules-- reform in and of itself is recognizing that the rules that are set into place aren't always effective. There are rules that are discriminatory, rules that are bureaucratic nonsense, rules that disproportionately affect specific groups of people, and rules that create roadblocks to solving real problems. Hell, the original police systems in North America especially were created to persecute minorities and maintain military power over citizens. The need for reform is referencing a larger systemic issue and getting police officers to follow the most basic procedures is just the tip of the iceberg. I don't want to get too much into the principles behind reform here because I am no expert. I recognize that because I am white I benefit from these rules/systems put into place so my voice shouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but I do think the majority of the tensions in this season of Chicago PD stem from the extreme oversimplification of reform. It surprised me too when I thought about it because they've managed to explore the grey areas/more complex aspects of it, but I think the writers are intentionally making that decision which makes it really interesting.

Throughout the season, I couldn’t help but feel that these characters considered reform as the push from the public to adhere to guidelines-- as they should, obviously-- but while ignoring the more nuanced principles of reform such as asking themselves questions like: is what I'm doing truly helping the communities we've sworn to serve and protect? Are the solutions us cops in Intelligence are offering permanent solutions? Should we be rethinking our principles of justice to be less retributive and more procedural-- or even more restorative?

This is all in reference to the characters, of course, not the writers. We have Voight, Hailey, and Adam resisting reform because they don’t see value in following the rules. But reform, in its purest form, is recognizing that the rules need changing, which is why it’s so interesting to see the “opposing side” against it even though they also believe the rules aren’t helping them. So I think it's really good and interesting how the writers have written these characters as having very complex and layered discussions/arguments about reform and about justice while still doing that. Because their contempt for the rules comes from a place of wanting to carry out justice, just like Kevin and all the others who push for reform, but they’re motivated by ideals closer to retributive justice and using their position of power to exact a more personal form of justice. Because of Hailey, Adam, and Voight’s more personal and intimate views of justice, their solutions always feel short-term. For example, Voight murdering suspects, bashing in cars, etc. This is all stuff that creates a temporary fix but their passion towards justice makes them care more about the personal, emotional release that kind of justice brings than the actual, long-term change. This is especially shown in that one scene where Hailey tells Jay the story about how a clerical error made an offender walk, which she sort of views as a reason why breaking the rules should be allowed whereas Kevin would view that as a reason why the rules need changing. Again, short-term vs. long-term.

This is not to say that Hailey, Voight, and Adam are evil, obviously. They're complicated, but they're far from evil. (Well, the jury’s still out on Voight. Haha!) What this show is portraying, however, is how the ideas of reform can be fleeting and temporary and all-around fickle in the minds of these characters when they reach a certain breaking point. They're able to throw this aside because they're all white, so it doesn't affect them personally. But right off the bat in season 8 we've seen it affect Kevin professionally AND personally in every single way. Others are almost viewing it as a social trend or a push to be a rule-follower though which is why both Adam and Voight, when put under emotional distress, are so easily able to downplay Kevin's push for doing things the right way. (Even though, really, he's asking for the bare minimum here of following the rules and not killing people.) Kevin, ever the conscience of the group, doesn’t put up with it and keeps people in check which can be extremely aggravating when you’re in a very emotional state and want to let your emotions lead you on a rampage. Hence, this is the root cause of the majority of tensions between the unit— in season 8 especially.

Anyway, this is all to say that I think this season of Chicago PD has done quite a lot in terms of portraying reform and the need for systemic change while still staying true to their characters and delving into how their privelege has led to them misinterpreting reform. Which leads to the portraying of some fairly corrupt policing, but never condoning it. At the very least, they show how it's less important for these characters since they all have a breaking point where reform becomes moot whereas for a black man like Kevin, it's more firmly ingrained into him. That’s a concept that is all too common in the real world, and one I appreciated that they represented even though some things weren’t so great.

[lazyliars]

/rp

I think a lot of division over c!Dream is by design.

By that I don’t mean that he’s manipulating both Tommy and the viewer’s emotions (- although I personally believe that he is doing that as well -) but that whether or not Dream is a fundamentally evil character is currently up for debate.

This being portrayed through the fact that Dream never streams - something pointed out by others numerous times.

No character on the SMP can be rightfully called 100% evil. They can do awful things, with awful consequences that hurt many people, but we also see why. The way they justify themself outwardly, and the actual reasons for their actions are often in stark contrast to one-another. That doesn’t justify or excuse their actions, but it helps us empathize.

We can see this in many characters treading the waters of grey morality. Niki and Jack’s single-minded quest for vengeance against Tommy. Fundy’s self-destructive aim to unite people against him. Even more clear-cut ‘heroic’ characters - Tommy’s tendency towards causing pain when he tortured Fundy and Conner. Tubbo inventing horrifically destructive nuclear weapons to protect what he cares about. Hell-- Eret, someone who right now is doing their best to spread hope and positivity on the SMP, coined the phrase that might have just caused the most pain of all.

And likewise, even the villains have their reasons;

Wilbur - he hurt many, many people when he blew up L’manberg, and by the end of his life he was undeniably a villain. But we could see his slow descent, his fall from a leader who cared about his friends to a shadow of himself, twisted by betrayal and self-loathing.

Schlatt - we see next to none of his reasoning, his ethos, his actual intentions, and yet - the end of his life permeated with a morbid pity; a tragic loneliness as he screams at everyone he drove away. We don’t forgive Schlatt for a second, and most of the characters and viewers reveled in his death, but we can still see that he was person with feelings. It was human being behind those cruelties.

They may still be villains, but to say that villains are the only thing they could’ve ever been is untrue.

But Dream.

Like Schlatt, we see little of Dream’s inner thoughts - arguably none. We only see his actions, and the way he justifies those actions to the other characters, which is then further muddled by layers of lies and manipulation.

But unlike Schlatt, Dream never has that moment of humanity, where you can see the pain that his worldview has caused his heart. We only see the way it hurts him physically - as he is defeated by the very bonds he scorned.

But we get no indication that he felt regret. Or even that he felt sadness. Maybe fear, and fear is pitiable, but it doesn’t breed empathy, not the same way Wilbur and Schatt’s deaths do.

And so we have to ask ourselves; “Is that all there is to it?”

Taking Dream’s intentions at face value, he is irredeemable. He is a horrific, abusive monster that deserves every punishment laid at his feet. And that isn’t even taking into account his actions, which are by far more telling.

I want preface this next part by saying that nothing justifies what c!Dream did to c!Tommy in exile. It could’ve been the only way to save the whole server and it would still never, ever be okay. It was about as close to true evil as you can get.

There is no question that Dream has done awful, awful things. That he has damaged some, if not all of his relationships beyond any hope of repair. In no world should anyone on the smp ever be expected to forgive him, trust him or even want to see him again.

He is a villain, by all accounts, no matter what his intentions were

But what were those intentions?

That is the question I believe we will be asking ourselves over the next several weeks. In the title of one of the books Tommy left Dream to write: “Why”

Why did Dream do this? Why did he decide to cut out his friends? Why did he want control over everyone? Why was any of this necessary?

Why did he go from a friendly enemy, to an amalgamation of suffering?

Because that’s what he was, once. He was an enemy and antagonist to L’manberg. He was a leader to the Dream SMP. He was a friend to Sapnap and George.

So what changed?

What about the enigmatic, somewhat violent leader of the Dream SMP, who made a memorial to his dead horse, who laughed until he cried at his friend’s stupid jokes, who accepted two worthless vanity items in exchange for an entire nation’s independence?

Was that person just a lie?

And, if the answer is yes, well. That makes sense. All of the above happened when Dream had the entire SMP firmly under his thumb. He was never threatened with a loss of control during those early days, until L’manberg. And he crushed their pathetic rebellion and killed Tommy when the kid made a last ditch effort to secure freedom.

But what about the discs?

Tommy went face to face with Dream, and despite everything, despite losing and losing and losing again, he offered to lose even more - a trade. His discs, for L’manberg.

And Dream said yes.

And you can spin it easily, as Dream seeing the power of the discs even then, and I do think that’s true. But I don’t know if that’s all of it.

What is Dream? He’s not human. A lot of the fandom, myself included, refer to him as a God. He fits the bill, after all - Power Unmatched, fickle, and most of all, mysterious.

We have to wonder if caring about things is natural for him at all. If selflessness, if kindness, if love is something he is even able to feel.

Because from his own words, the answer would be “No.” A case of Evil cannot Comprehend Good. He can only understand the practical aspects of attachments - that they are useful tools to control people, and harmful weaknesses to have. He collects them up in a disgusting museum, where he can leverage them against everyone on his server.

But why? Why does he want control?

Is it control for control’s sake? Is it in his nature to seek absolute domination over others? Is it fascination - a desire to have what others like Tommy have; that connection, that love, that belief instilled into worthless objects.

Is Dream aware that what he’s doing is evil? Because he seems invested in telling Tommy that it’s not, or at the very least that it’s only his point of view. That Dream sees Tommy as evil just like Tommy sees Dream.

And it’s not just a one-time thing. There are multiple instances where Dream asserts that he is not evil, both during Tommy’s exile and during the Finale. We have to wonder if he actually believes that, or if it’s just another manipulation tactic.

Because it could be. This is not a case for Dream’s humanity. This is the facts as I, a viewer, understand them, and an attempt at piecing together the puzzle.

Dream is nearly impossible to understand - everything he does and says is layered in manipulation and ulterior motives, and I don’t think we’ve seen him truly stripped down to his most vulnerable, yet.

There is every chance that what we’re seeing now --Tommy and Tubbo, the server coming together, the prison-- That that is all part of Dream’s master plan. That everything has been calculated, all the pain and fear and hope and triumph, have been calculated moves made to further an end that we don’t yet understand. Dream could’ve known full well that he would be the one to end up in the prison when he had Sam build it. Or, it could’ve been a blunder made by a being that cannot comprehend why people would care about each other.    We just don’t know.

I’ll bring up the discs for consideration one last time - They are a catalyst to Tommy’s development, but also to Dream’s. We see Dream tempted with them, enough to give up control over L’manberg. This seems to be the event that set the server’s collective fascination with attachments and leverage and meaning. The idea that the things you love have tangible value. Sentimentality as a Currency was started with the Discs.

But it was Dream who gave them that value. Dream who accepted the trade - L’manberg for the Discs. Was it attachment? Was it curiosity? Was it a Chessmaster’s scheme, a move made months ago to set into motion ends we’ve yet to see?

Does Dream know why he wanted them in the first place?

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Vampire Mitch/Bloodwhore Stiles; putting it under a cut with warnings for like. Everything lol (but mainly some mentioned self-harm and dub-con in a few spots. And also it’s like 3k long)

The general set up is this: Mitch frequents goth clubs in search of victims to feed on, because that’s the easiest way to find willing prey. One night, he meets Stiles, and is intrigued by the scent of blood on his skin. Later, he finds out it’s because Stiles is cutting, and that night he tried to kill himself, after his father’s recent death, but he couldn’t do it. Then he meets Mitch, and thinks/hopes Mitch will do it for him. 

When he was finished, Mitch cut the pad of his thumb on a fang and rubbed it over the bite. It would stop the bleeding, and Stiles would be healed by morning.

"Look at me," Mitch said, cupping Stiles' cheeks. His eyes were glazed, the glamour already working.

"You're not going to kill me?"

"I told you I wouldn't."

"Oh." Mitch could have sworn he heard a note of disappointment in Stiles' voice, but that wasn't his concern anymore.

Mitch isn’t interested in leaving a trail of bodies; that’s a quick way to attract hunters, and he likes living in peace, thank you very much. 

He sees Stiles a very different times before it becomes a regular thing. Even after taking his memories the first time, Stiles is drawn to him, and he keeps coming back.

Mitch has no guilt for what he’s doing with Stiles; he’s totally fine letting his pretty boy cut himself when it means he can lick up the blood, and Stiles is perfectly happy to be his blood whore. It gives him a sense of purpose again, it makes him feel needed, giving him something he needs to survive. (Though as we saw in the above snippet, Mitch doesn’t need Stiles when he can get blood from anyone, reminding him of his place.) But Stiles doesn’t need the reminder; he knows Mitch could easily find someone else. But this is the most content he’s felt since his dad died, so he’ll take whatever he can get. 

But poor Stiles felt so alone and useless after his dad died and his friends moved on, so why keep going, right? But now he has a reason to live. Even if it’s not a good one, it’s good enough for him, and Mitch is happy to keep him around like a beloved pet. 

Mitch pushed up Stiles' sleeve, his fingertips brushing along the lines of scars. There were dozens, too many to count, some deeper than others. Nights when he had been more determined, no doubt.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" he asked softly, watching blood bead along a fresh cut that Stiles had hastily tried to hide, jerking down his sleeves and crossing his arms even when it pained him to do so.

Stiles was ashamed of his weakness, his pale cheeks showing his humiliation. He didn't try to pull away now that his shame was bared; there was no point, nowhere left to hide.

"To feel something, I guess."

"I could smell the blood on you when we met. I didn't know why." Mitch looked up at Stiles, understanding in his dark eyes. "You wanted me to kill you that night, didn't you?" Slowly, Stiles nodded.

"I couldn't do it… I tried, but I couldn't. I thought it would be easier if something else made the choice for me."

Mitch bit his lip then tenderly kissed Stiles' arm, smearing his blood over the wound so that it would heal. When he sat back up, Stiles had tears in his eyes; he gave Mitch a watery smile.

"I like it when you bite me, you know. It didn't hurt that first time. I thought it would, but it felt… I don't know. Better than this. Will you do it again?

"If Mitch were a better man, then he would leave his lover, get him the help he so dearly needed. Instead he let Stiles climb into his lap, folded into him and held Stiles closer. Turned to gently sink his teeth into Stiles' wrist when he offered it, petting his hands down Stiles' back when he shivered from the elation.

Mitch is Complicated. On the one hand, he does like Stiles, and wishes he weren’t so sad that he turned to self harm. On the other hand, he’s a selfish creature by nature, and he can’t deny that he benefits from it. Pretty soon, though, Stiles trades his blades for Mitch’s fangs. 

Then one night, further into the relationship, but not far enough that Mitch has Feelings yet (so he’s still a soulless prick), Stiles starts asking some morbid questions. Eventually Mitch says something like if he wanted to, he could keep Stiles young and beautiful forever. And that’s the end of the conversation; he doesn’t offer to do it, and Stiles doesn’t ask, thinking that if Mitch wanted to keep him around that long, Mitch would offer to. So he’ll just content himself with however long he gets with Mitch before he eventually gets bored and kills him.

The blood ritual wouldn’t turn Stiles; he’d be more than human, but less than a vampire. It would bind him to Mitch as his blood whore forever. But the catch: if Mitch dies, so will Stiles. Interdependence at its finest. 

But as far as Mitch is concerned, Stiles is a sweet snack pack with the added benefit of sex, and feeding while fucking is quite the high; it’s not something he’s had in a long time, because he doesn’t like to sleep with someone and then take their memories of the night. He does have some morals. But he hasn’t decided if Stiles is worth keeping around forever, yet, which is why he doesn’t offer to do it. 

Changing tracks to much later in the relationship, which Mitch has caught Serious Feelings (but is still in denial). Mitch works in the hospital which is how he normally gets his blood, which his weekly outings being used to get something fresher than the frozen stuff. Then one day while he’s on shift, Stiles gets brought into the emergency room. 

Whatever happened, Stiles almost dies and Mitch realizes that he really doesn’t want to lose him. And not even because it would be inconvenient to go out and find someone to replace him, he just Really Enjoys Stiles (it’s okay Mitch, you can admit you love him) and he is unwilling to give him up. So he shoots Stiles up with his blood to help him heal/keep him alive, and after he offers to do the binding ritual for Stiles, to keep something like this from happening again, because he can not risk losing Stiles again. What if someone hadn’t called an ambulance? What if it had been just a little slower to respond? What if Mitch hadn’t been there? It’s not something he’s willing to consider; Stiles means too much to him. But Stiles just has hearts and sparkles in his eyes because Mitch! wants!! to keep him!!!

Once Stiles gets discharged and Mitch takes him home from the hospital, he’s still weak from the blood loss, and they should really wait before attempting the ritual, but Stiles doesn’t want to give Mitch a chance to rethink his offer. (He wouldn’t, but Stiles has self-worth issues). So they do it practically as soon as they’re through the door; there’s set up of course, preparations to be made, but as soon as it’s physically possible, they’re doing it. (Featuring bloodplay and ritual sex for the win.) 

My friend once asked if the binding out reinforce Stiles’ obsession with needed to be worthy of Mitch, or if it would comfort him, and it’s definitely the latter. The ritual is damn serious; it binds their souls, and it can’t be broken; it’s not something a vampire does lightly. Most never find someone they care about that deeply, that they would tie their lives together in a way that one can’t live without the other. Not when it’s so much easier to make a thrall, and have a similar effect. But it’s about more than having a slightly-immortal-human to feed on. It’s about complete devotion to the one person you want to spend eternity with. 

Mitch isn’t very emotionally expressive most of the time. Nothing extreme, anyway. His natural state of being is pretty apathetic, just as a result of being undead. But when he almost lost Stiles, he was devastated, and Stiles was just aware enough to see how broken Mitch was at the possibility of him dying. It’s enough to tell him Mitch really does care for him, that it wasn’t just an act to keep Stiles coming back, or a passing infatuation. Mitch loves him, enough that he can’t live without him. 

(Not back to the beginning of their story) 

Stiles could barely breathe past the hand around his throat, Mitch’s nails lengthening into sharp claws that savaged his skin. His smile was cruel as Stiles scratched at his hand, trying to pull it away.

“I like you, Stiles,” he said, sweeter than poisoned honey, “but I don’t need you. Don’t forget that.”

Mitch carelessly cast him aside, leaving Stiles to collapse in a gasping heap on the filthy alley floor. The vampire stalked off without so much as a look back, having already forgotten about the pathetic human pleading for him to come back.

In the beginning of their acquaintance, Mitch is Very Unkind at times. He has no problem using Stiles up and throwing him away when he’s done like a Capri Sun. He’s not always like that, a lot of times he’s perfectly nice, but he’s also a fickle bitch. It’s no wonder Stiles is so desperate to please, because now that he’s been with Mitch, he can’t imagine not having him again.

(Heads up for some lamb-to-the-slaughter flavored dubcon)

Mitch left Stiles feeling thoroughly used, curled up in filthy sheets with every part of his body aching. There was nothing left unscathed, from the welts raked down his chest by sharp claws to his aching insides from too rough sex. His fingers were cramped from digging into the sheets, a litany of bite marks spanning his neck and shoulders and thighs, angry red and still sluggishly bleeding, a perfect match to the thin scratches and cuts covering his chest.

Stiles curled up around a pillow, wrapped around it for comfort. He felt cold, colder than Mitch. His lover hadn’t bothered to heal him this time, not sharing the rejuvenating properties of his blood before he left. Tonight, he wanted Stiles to hurt. Even as he sniffled into his pillow Stiles smiled to himself; it smelled like sex and blood and Mitch, comforting even if he lover wasn’t there to hold him.

(That sounds worse than it is in context; Stiles likes the rough sex lol. But he’s also being super self-destructive about it, basically using Mitch as a replacement for his self-harm. Once Mitch figures that out, he’s sweeter during sex.)

Mitch is super dismissive when he wants to be. But he can also be kind. After that,t he next time he sees Stiles he’s very gentle with him, making love instead of making him hurt, and Stiles loves that side of him, too. Especially when Mitch stays afterwards, feeding him chocolate and giving him kisses as a reward for being his good boy, and making amends for being so rough with him. Sometimes he forgets Stiles is only a delicate human. 

There’s also the issue that vampires feel differently than humans. I keep mentioning that his emotions are dulled, because once you’ve been alive for hundreds of years, things starts to just... flatten. Which means Mitch can be incredibly callous, and not take into account how Stiles feels. It’s easy to treat him like an object. 

But no matter what Mitch does, Stiles is never afraid of him. Not even when Mitch probably tries to scare him; when he realizes he’s catching feelings, and doesn’t know what to with that, so he tries to push Stiles away by frightening him. But Stiles refuses to see him as a monster. But it’s not just that: what’s Mitch going to do, kill him? That’s what Stiles originally wanted, anyway, and now he would rather die than live without him. Stiles has zero sense for self preservation. 

(Mitch is... a little concerned about that, actually, when he realizes just how deep it goes. Stiles is the complete opposite to him, as someone who’s a pure survivalist, that only cares about himself and staying alive. Stiles cares about everyone else, and doesn’t care if he lives or dies.) But it doesn’t matter what Mitch does, as long as he keeps coming back, and that has him like woah. That’s A Lot for him. He doesn’t even really understand it, because he’s never felt like that about someone before. (Except Stiles, of course, he’s just in denial. He doesn’t truly get how deep he is until the hospital incident.) 

(And now to the end of the story, so to speak.)

After they do the ritual, part of the binding is that they can feel what the other is feeling. This means Stiles can immediately tell when Mitch is in a Mood, and knows just what he needs, and the reverse is true. Stiles deflects with humor, but Mitch can always tell what he’s really feeling. Now he has no choice but to consider Stiles’ emotions, and the bond takes away all the guesswork. 

Then of course the feedback loop is a thing. Mitch hasn’t been able to feel strong emotions in centuries, but like everything about Stiles, his emotions are so vibrant. He feels things so deeply, it’s a rush, and Mitch can’t get enough. It’s like a drug; he does something to make Stiles happy/pleased/excited and he gets some of that back, and it’s Great. (He liked pleasing his precious boy before, but now it’s Even More, and Stiles has to admit, he loves it. He thinks it’s cute the way Mitch does different things to see the effect it has on him, like a kid with a new science experiment. It’s adorable.) 

Unfortunately, the binding has an unforeseen consequence. 

Ronnie, the vampire that turned Mitch, finds out he has a new pet. Word travels, and it’s not every century someone is binding themselves to a human. And isn’t that just the sweetest *gag*. It’s clear Mitch adores Stiles, and really? Mitch of all people has fallen in love with a human? Ronnie almost doesn’t believe it. (He was probably very Vlad the Impaler back in the day. Dracula Untold kind of vamp.)

Ronnie thinks it’s pathetic. He thought Mitch was better than that. It was bad enough the way he used to get so guilty when he killed someone to feed, starving himself for days or weeks at a time until he couldn’t take it anymore, instead of killing whoever and whenever he wanted like Ronnie. (Little bit Lestat and Louis, but Mitch isn’t that much of a bitch about it. Maybe more Damon and Stefan; Mitch overdid it when he was first turned, then felt bad about it once he got a handle on himself, and went to the other extreme trying to make up for it. Now he’s equaled out.) Anyway, now Mitch has reached a whole new low in Ronnie’s eyes. 

So, he decided to pay Mitch a visit, see if the rumors are true, and finds him being all disgustingly domestic and in love with Stiles. Hardly the fearsome predator befitting a vampire of his status, and he is irrationally angry over it. Feels betrayed. The meeting doesn’t go well. Mitch tells him to fuck himself and stay the hell away from his mate -and isn’t that interesting. Mitch knows it was a mistake as soon as he said it, but he can’t take it back, can’t pretend like Ronnie didn’t hear it. He really has drunk the Kool-Aid; Stiles isn’t even just a bloodwhore for him anymore; he’s gone and fallen in gross, sticky love with the human. 

Ronnie leaves, but not for long. He decides to find out what it is about this particular human that’s got Mitch all ruffled and weak-kneed, and kidnaps him. He bides his time until Stiles is alone, Mitch nowhere near close enough to save him. Stiles wasn’t there for the initial reunion, but he can guess who Ronnie is; Mitch has told him about his life, and who he was before, when he was still human. About the monster that turned him. But he knows Mitch will find him. 

Mitch immediately knows Stiles is in danger, can feel his distress through the bond, but by the time he comes home it’s too late. They’re gone. The house is trashed, and he can smell Stiles’ blood, and he has no idea where they could have gone, and he can’t think because all he can feel is Stiles’ fear, and it’s driving him crazy because he doesn’t know what to do. Where to even begin looking for them. 

Ronnie starts off by torturing Stiles, knowing it will get Mitch riled up. Drinks his blood, makes him hurt. He’s not particularly impressed; there’s nothing special about Stiles, he’s just another human. Nothing he can see to make him worth tying his life to Mitch’s own, putting his own life at risk. Because just like Stiles will die with Mitch, the reverse is also true. 

Slowly, Ronnie begins to use his thrall on Stiles. He’s gradual with it, so that his slow acceptance of his new place in life feels natural. Stiles doesn’t even realize it isn’t, so of course Mitch won’t. Until Stiles is completely under Ronnie’s influence, a perfect little blood slave, who Ronnie keeps naked and chained to his bed. Not because he’s particularly interested, but because it keeps Stiles afraid, he knows it will kill Mitch to imagine the kinds of things he’s done to his mate. (Not that Ronnie would eve debase himself by lying with a human, he’s Better Than That, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have his fun in other ways...) 

Since it’s not so much physical feeling that comes through the bond, Mitch would have no way to know if someone else was touching Stiles, or if he was being ordered to touch himself, putting on a show for Ronnie’s amusement. Mitch would only know that Stiles was getting off, and assume the worst given the circumstances. But with how much Ronnie hates humans, and is angry at Stiles in particular for having one of his old “friends” whipped like a bitch, it wouldn’t be far-fetched for him to find someone else unsavory to play with Stiles for a while, and give him back his mind just enough that the fear bleeds through to Mitch. 

By the time Mitch finds them, Stiles is barely clinging to life. He’s slightly more immortal than your average bear, but he’s still only human, and Ronnie has been doing the bare minimum not to kill him, if only because he doesn’t want to actually kill Mitch (yet). He still hopes he can bring Mitch back to his way of things, and relegate Stiles back to the worthless bloodwhore he is. 

Mitch finds them mid-feeding, and Stiles’ heartbeat if so faint, Mitch would think he was dead if not for the fact that he was still standing. Ronnie has been keeping him weak as a kitten from the frequent feedings; Stiles doesn’t even register Mitch is there. 

Of course Mitch is going to kill Ronnie for what he’s done, Stiles watching in a daze from the bed, feeling like it’s all a dream, still under the effects of Ronnie’s compulsion. It finally breaks when Mitch tears his throat out, and Stiles is so relieved but he’s also so tired. And then Mitch is there, holding him, wrapping a blanket around him, trying to keep him warm. Gives Stiles his blood to help him heal, and Stiles sluggishly realizes Mitch is offering to turn him, but Stiles doesn’t want that, because then Mitch won’t be able to feed on him anymore - except Mitch doesn’t care, he just wants Stiles to be safe, strong enough to protect himself, since apparently he can’t, he failed, and he can’t risk that happening again so please-

But Stiles refuses, because it might not be important to Mitch, but it’s important to him, because it means Mitch still needs him, and if Mitch turns him, he’ll be taking that away. He’s half right; Mitch does need him, but he’s never needed Stiles for his blood. 

[honey-lets-fucking-run]

Ethan Hunt & Ilsa Faust: A Journey

So, after yesterday's news about the MI franchise, a celebratory rewatch was a given. Unfortunately, in order to be able to swallow down six movies in one sitting, one needs a full day with no interruptions, and that scenario has proven itself to be highly unlikely in my case. Naturally, I resorted to watching the last two instead of the whole pack. Four hours had passed, I found myself wandering down the path of digesting the character dynamic between Ethan and Ilsa.

Firstly, I must confess: yes, I do ship them. Yes, I'm able to see them as a romantic couple. I know it sounds cliché, and no one is under the obligation to agree with my opinion, because it's just it. A single opinion. But while I was in the process, it got me thinking on why I can see them as a couple.

Let's start with the notion that Ethan is, without any shade of doubt, a people person. He's the so-called head of the wolf pack, to put it bluntly. He's charming, he's evocative in a nonthreatening way, he's talkative, he's energetic, the list goes on and on. He appreciates the people around him and is able to see them for what they really are. He sees Luther as his voice of reason, he never ever begrudges Benji for being a little too much pain to handle (that constant rambling, seriously. I love Benji with all my heart, I really do, but being near him I would have probably gone nuts asking him to shut up just for once), he's even able to put up with Brandt's never-ceasing paranoia. Most of all, Ethan is ferociously loyal to all of them, a trait which I find unique in regards that they all reciprocate the same loyalty without question. They may say he's crazy, but they would follow him to the hell and back regardless of his recklessness. Why? Well, because Ethan is stubborn. It's easier to go with him than to be discouraging towards him, exactly for the reason that by being so stubborn he keeps the flame of hope alive not only within himself but also within their tight group as well. Hope for something good in the world. Hope that every heinous and horrible thing they do would eventually be worth doing. That's what keeps them going, no matter the circumstances. Which I find as a very interesting fickle in terms of character's value.

To be more clear, the guy has seen some shit. On a constant basis, even. He's been hunted down almost non-stop from the very beginning, his superiors don't trust him at all (seriously, I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of Secretaries that weren't antagonistic towards him), he's been betrayed by the system every now and then, his chance at a happy and normal life didn't pan out. He has lost so much and has been beaten down so many times, that his reckless and desperate attempts to save practically everybody are largely motivated by the fear of losing, doesn't matter who: someone within his team, or some abstract pedestrian he met down the street. And yet...

And yet he stays hopeful. He deliberately chooses the audacity of hope in the face and in spite of the circumstances. That is unique in a very distinctive way, which essentially sets Ethan apart from so many other action heroes. I mean, yes, he's tired. He's worn down. Yes, the fear he's carrying within himself must be crippling. Yes, he's paranoid, he's reckless to the point of stupidity sometimes, and yet, he can think rationally (even if it doesn't seem so) even while being under emotional pressure. He doesn't allow for his previous experiences to cloud his judgment. His experiences do shape him, just like they would shape any other human, sometimes his experience might even dictate his actions, but - and that's the difference - he doesn't let himself become jaded and cynical. If he did, he would have lost his humanity, the only way he knows how to preserve it, and we know that he cannot possibly afford that.

Now, Ilsa is different. Totally different. Where Ethan is the head of the wolf pack, she's a lone wolf. Not only a lone wolf, but a stray wolf - and she was put into this position by her own government. The same government that once deemed her as a traitor to leverage her into tossing her around whatever they see fit. She doesn't belong anywhere; the only way for her to preserve her integrity is to fight for it. Viciously, with teeth and nails, with no regards to possible collateral damage (she probably had her fair share of collateral damage while working with Lane, she herself essentially was collateral damage) and to the consequences. She doesn't have anyone to rely on, except herself. And yet, she's very upfront. Steadfast. A good opponent, a tricky one, because even while manipulating the events to her own means, she manages to stay truthful about her intentions. I mean, she's a spy. A very good one, obviously, because you wouldn't be able to survive being undercover for two years without staining your hands and doing some morally questionable things, but she always remains steadfastly honest about herself, even if she doesn't come clean on her agenda from the first try. And how could she? She couldn't, even if she wanted to. She's a lone wolf, and lone wolves are dangerous. They're unpredictable because they have to do anything in their power to just survive.

What fascinates me: Ethan, being Ethan, i.e. the person who attaches way to quickly to anyone for the tiniest bit of reason, inadvertently gave her a reason in return. To be open. No, not completely, obviously it's a little bit early for that. But he gave her an opportunity to be honest. Being honest is the thing she strives for. She acts as his counterpoint and foil, and yet, they remain on equal footing the entire time - simply because he doesn't judge her. Not ever. He doesn't question her actions, no matter how borderline they may come across to others. He just knows she has reasons, he even knows what reasons are those without her having to explain that to him. He knows before being handed an explanation, he knows on some innately deeper level, the same level that helps him recognise and respect her first. Any romantic feelings there may be - they come after. Respect and mutual recognition is the essential foundation.

And you know, that's new for her. You can see it written plainly across her face throughout both movies. She doesn't have to hide herself from him, because he doesn't judge. He just understands. He accepts. Without question. Which provokes the same reaction from Ilsa herself: she's able to see through his flaws and baggage as well. And she doesn't judge him either, because having been through what she's had been through, she couldn't ever.

That's what they seek for so desperately. Understanding. A chance of solace in the midst of chaos. Not having to constantly remember about what they have to do and what are they doing. Most of all, they both need to be accepted with all their baggage, flaws and insecurities alike.

Acceptance is a very hard thing to find, even more harder to achieve. They both are not quite there yet, but who knows. Maybe they will get there. Eventually.

For @medveditsa

For @imfmi6

[foretolds]

CASSIUS MORALES BAPTISTE called into ORACLE FM. They were a little bit HEDONISTIC & RECKLESS at first, but we kept them talking until they got a little PROTECTIVE & WORLDLY.  They said they’ve been working as CHEF AT OBSCENITY, and thinking about aligning themselves with NA since they have been living in Nova Satus for FORTY ONE YEARS, and from what we can tell, they still give off huge THE SLOW LOWERING OF DESIGNER SUNGLASSES TO MAKE A POINT, THE PRIDE IN THE CLAIM OF BRUISES LEFT RIGHT AT THE CORNER OF COLLAR BONES, & BASS IN THE BOTTOM OF A HEARTY LAUGH THAT MAKES AN IMPRESSION vibes . [Y'LAN NOEL, HATIAN LOA (PAPA GHEDE), CIS MALE, UNKNOWN , HE/HIM ]

While taking a vessel is usually a process that is more inviting, Cassius has occupied this one for as long as he cares to remember (or tell), for more intimate reasons. The story changes depending on when and how he is telling it, but few have managed to settle him enough to garner the real account of the way things happened. Some are given the tall tale of ritual sacrifice, a dramatic rendition of his ceremony, others are told the long winded yet rewarding story involving a lover with a dream to keep whatever was left of a broken heart.

The truth? The truth was that the man he occupied now was the cemetery keeper for the body of one of his greatest lovers. This usually wouldn’t have made him particularly special, but it was watching the way the man continued to work through, or passed, his own needs to give to the dead that made him appealing. His loneliness was so palpable at one point, that the gift of possession seemed like it would, and could, come as a relief. So, they had made a deal.

Cassius sat with this man for awhile, days turning into years, until finally he had agreed to preform the ritual that would allow him to live forever, even if he was forced to shove over for the needs and wants of a loa that was fickle yet somehow still honorable, in some sense. When they joined, he allowed the man to occasionally slip through, to have a few days, a few moments, a few memories that would and could be his alone. In a sense, some would say that he loved his vessel, and they wouldn’t be wrong. Where they were, wrong, though, was in thinking that this gave him some kind of weakness.

That was years ago, though. Years, decades, centuries. He has been here, watching, operating, living his life. Throughout those decades he has indulged all of his whims, whether it be working as a doctor and enjoying the irony in being the one that would decide if sickness would bring them to join the dead, or would they bounce back better than ever; or a coroner for his people, specifically, because America was never warm enough to them, and they died on the street far too often for his liking.

When he was coroner, and when he deals with the dead, he is the pillar of guidance and assistance. They don’t deserve to feel fear when they pass, the simpler parts of humanity can bleed away to make way for the after life that is often more welcoming than the world can be. That’s the caveat, isn’t it? He knows celebration intimately, even in the fact of despair, but that doesn’t mean that he is always the poster boy for this years fuck boy Olympics. No, you just have to know how to talk to him nice, to ask him to be serious for a moment, and you’ll always get a seriously answer, lecture, or piece of advice.

As the stories go, he has always had an issue with food. The glasses that usually adorn is features are not needed, but we’re once used as a tool to hide the way he watched those who much steal it from him. Now, they are more of a dramatic accent, but that doesn’t mean that he is particularly forgiving for anyone that steals from him, or his following, considering it a large offense, and one well worth holding a grudge for.

At the advice of a very specialized therapist, he would open the restaurant behind his love of said food. He learned that making it, that giving that gift back to people, eased that anxiety and began to quell his need to constantly run away with sustenance that he did not need. Eventually, his passion became the restaurant that would stand today. It gives him a chance to deal with his own bullshit, but it also seconds as a chance to bestow his own blessings on people - through charity donations, catering funerals (an obscenity special that is always pro bono), or just lifting the spirits of those that enter the front doors.

He found Nova Satus to be the right place for that years ago, and when he was approached about their potential return to full power, he jumped on it. The man might be partially dormant, but he misses the way that belief flows in the blood, the way it sets your body on fire. The way appreciation tingles right under the skin, the way adoration feels when it’s whispered against your lips. All of it he has chased on a small scale, but now, now it has to return full force.

Cassius goes by Baptiste and very rarely allows or enjoys anyone else calling him by his first name. Much like the truth behind his origin story with his vessel, this is a privilege for a select few, rather than a standard setting.

Baptiste often is found wearing all black, almost to the point where it is comical that the man even owns any other colors. However, alternatively, if anyone makes the mistake of telling him that he looks like he’s dressed for a funeral, he simply grins while explaining that a funeral is the most important party you’ll ever have.

Baptiste is extremely sex positive, and will throw hands over anyone who decides to slut shame, kink shame, or otherwise. Because of this, he also hasn’t had too much of a history in committed relationships. It’s not that he is not open to them, they had to just be worth the while, and keeping both his interest in personality and his need for filth in the bedroom can be...well, a task.

Baptiste is almost always wearing a pair of glasses, most frequently they are sunglasses that are either pushed on his nose dramatically, gestured with, or otherwise.

Papa Ghede is well known for the obscene, both generally and sexually. That being said, he is always going to be the first one to say something vulgar to some degree. He is unapologetically shameless, and smooth in a way that is both attractive and irritating, depending on the day and person. Alternatively, catch my guy with a very popular only fans account, the number one fan of whatever day myst gets new shipments in, and rolling through every single amateur's night at the local strip clubs.

Last but not least, at least for now, he also tends to be jovial, in a sense, dancing words in circles or saying shit just for amusement value or to get a reaction. I apologize in advance for whatever nonsense is going to come out of his mouth, truly. That being said, that is just how he operates. However, if you want or need him to be serious about something, the solution is simple: use your words. If you ask him to be serious or take something seriously, he will, and he will offer a solid response.

POWERS

death force manipulation

vodou magic

necromancy

healing

enhanced charisma/sexual inducement/sex deity physiology

underworld lordship

possession/aspect manifestation 

contract bestowal/summoning/power bestowal

wish granting/blessing inducement/curse inducement

immortality

WEAKNESSES

contract/blessing/curse negation (including prolonged use of blessing, power, contract or misuse)

may also need to present offerings, complete task or favor, or user must have certain qualities to obtain curse/blessing.

all wishes come with price and balance, all wish, curses and blessings come with loopholes and twists.

can be bound by high level magic (usually requiring several covens/witches/magic beings)

weakness creation/inducement/empowerment

spicy healing (aka he has to take on some portion of the sickness he is taking away, or suffer some consequence in order to do that)

possession can be negated by rune, certain protection spells

life balance - lives saved have to equal lives taken, so if he saves one person, he also has to kill someone to maintain the balance

[julianbashir]

Hey took your noir quiz it was fun! (I got fatale) Didn’t want to fill up the film recs since I don’t know that many noir films but I’d love to see what to other possible results are. Could you post them?

absolutely! im glad you had fun with my quiz. here are the results and descriptions below the cut! (they’re kind of long)

the antihero

the cynical protagonist. a private detective, a journalist, a drifter--hell, maybe even just your average joe caught up in something bigger than themselves. you've got your own personal moral code that some may disagree with, but it's served you well enough in the past. lady luck is a fickle being, and she's cursed you with a streak of bad luck ever since you could remember. try as you might to struggle against the whims of fate, your flaws are far too great and tragic to allow you to leave this part of your life unchanged--that is, if you survive.

the corrupt

you're someone in a position of authority--a politician, an attorney, a police chief, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. you didn't start out like this, but you quickly realized the truth of the world. life isn't fair, so why should you be? you aren't afraid of turning to less scrupulous methods to achieve your goals. what others might consider moral bankruptcy is just you doing what is necessary to survive. it doesn't matter how many people or lives you ruin in the process--success is the only thing that matters.

the crooked

everyone has a job--but some happen to be more criminal in nature. whether it be murder, organized crime, or something else entirely, your hands have accumulated filth for years, and no amount of scrubbing will ever remove it. something drew you to a life of crime, and you're not planning to leave it anytime soon. you might be working with a corrupt politician or police officer to help them accomplish their goals--but beware that you don't get stabbed in the back in the process.

the fatale

fatales are usually seen as a menace to 'proper' society, one that seduces well-meaning individuals like the antihero into living a less scrupulous life--but, as we know now, that's just a reflection of early 20th century misogyny. tradition is a cage that's trapped you for years, and through various means that may or may not have involved the death of your spouse, you've managed to liberate yourself. you've been called duplicitous, ruthless, and deceitful--but the fact is, you just know how to put your talents to use when it comes to serving your own best interests. it's a lonely life when the only person you can rely on is yourself, but you make it work.

the innocent

despite everything, you have somehow remained unpoisoned by the trials and tribulations of life. a symbol of the good that remains in this rotten world, usually offered to the antihero as one path diverged down a yellow wood. you still believe in fantastical concepts like justice and truth, and you try to uphold these ideas to the best of your ability. you don't understand why other people can't see things your way. however, your naivety can only shield you for so long. sooner or later, the world will catch up to you, and your wake-up call won't be pretty.

the dead

don't despair--death is peaceful in comparison to the daily hell the living must endure. you might have been close to the antihero, but you didn't know when to quit. you knew something you shouldn't have, and for that, you paid the price. but every fire must have its spark, and you were the catalyst that set everything into motion. whether or not you realize it, you were given the easy way out. at least take comfort in the fact that only the good die young.