#<- don't give me ideas..

[stealingpotatoes]

the naberrie family over the years <3

(commission info // tip jar!)

[giantkillerjack]

I think Gastronauts on Dropout is the cooking show that has made me truly appreciate the skill of professional chefs more than any other cooking show.

Like I don't know if it's because the challenges are so crazy or the fact that the judges don't have any professional input whatsoever (they're all comedians), but the combination of how utterly stoked the judges are to be eating this food and how creative the chefs get to be really works to make you marvel at just how skilled a professional chef has to be.

Other cooking shows always have a level-voiced narrator listing out shit like,

"Rebecca is doing a praline-mint ganache with a Twiffly Street stir-up, combined with a gestelle Santa Maria sponge technique."

And it's fun to pretend like, 'Ah, yes. Of course! A classic of the genre! She'd be a fool not to!' as though I know anything about cooking or baking.

But on Gastronauts, it's a bunch of comedians who would really graciously appreciate some fancy food, watching chefs cook and going, like,

"What is that? What is he doing?? It's like- like a swishy thing! Like a fancy swishy thing!!"

"OH MY GOD YES, HE'S USING ONIONS."

"Ooo! Crunchies!??"

And then the chefs get to come out and formally present their food, which makes them look very smart. And these actors who generally can't afford Michelin star cuisine are just :DDDD!

And it's like, oh yeah. This is about my level, yes. This conveys how normal people who don't eat good food for a living would actually react. And it's super chill. It's good vibes, that show. 👌

[kylominis]

𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 [🙏]

[herd-reject-arts]

So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.

[mokeonn]

"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.

But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.

[umblrspectrum]

happy solvermas

[princema-k]

semi-formal intro to my(?) new au: the Reinhold Mystery Journey AU!!

based directly from @dearesthershel's (not so glowing) video essay on LMJ, i wanted to really take the idea and try and run with it!! details under cut~

RMJ officially takes place 16 years after the events of Unwound/Lost Future, Flora Layton Reinhold is a relatively well-known detective making rounds as following in her guardian's footsteps as a brilliant mystery solver. A now 32 year old Flora (formally known as Detective Layton by her peers, Flory by her 14 year-old sister Katrielle), having opened her office a year after UF/LF, is being given her assignments by the Chief Constable and soon-to-be Commissioner of the Yard, Barton.

Joining her is her assistant and now world-renowned journalist, Emmy Altava! Now 43, she's mellowed out quite a bit since the Azran Legacy (though she still hits and hits HARD). Summoned to Flora's side by an unknown individual, she vows to help the good detective however she can, either intellectually... or percussively.

Together, they're thrown into a myriad of cases dredging up places and faces both old and new, as each mystery resolved leads them ever closer to the cold case of the mysterious disappearances of the Professor and his blue-clad assistant years ago...

.......at least that's the idea i have in mind anyway. i'm not the most skilled writer lmao

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

Fic Idea where Fiddleford helps Stan rebuild the portal, but Stan finds out that Fiddleford has a wife and he's like

"You have a WIFE?? That DIDN'T marry you to steal your car and money???? What are you DOING here???"

"Yeah, well.... She's better off thinking I'm dead somewhere....."

"A WIFE. That LOVES you. Get outta here and go explain yourself, Idiot!!"

"She and our son shouldn't have to deal with--"

"YOUR SON???!!?!!??"

Anyways, so Stan helps Fiddleford reach out and explain himself to his wife, but expresses that he wants to keep being in Gravity Falls, so his wife and kid go to live with them in The Shack instead.

Blah blah blah, bonding happens, Stan bags Fiddleford AND his wife and becomes a step dad, God bless 🙏

[veatomis]

Great date ideas: take your boyfriend (who doesn't know how to swim) to the hot springs your family owns and gaze lovingly into his eyes <3

(Featuring a very special guest who also loves said boyfriend a very normal amount under the cut)

[s2pdoktopus]

COMBINE!!!

I'm so so sorry ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

[velvetcrimsonkisses]

Nanami had always wanted to go to Malaysia.

“What’s this?” Nanami's fingers invade the envelope, pulling out two plane tickets. “Plane tickets… to Malaysia,” You cheerfully respond to the man. Malaysia. Nanami’s dream destination. Nanami’s eyes fill with happiness at the sight of tickets. He had hoped that one day he would go and it was finally going to become reality. Thanks to you.

He could only imagine walking down the beach with you. Sand under his feet, the wind blowing through his hair, the warm sun touching his skin. Relaxation finally. His enthusiasm was contagious, child-like wonder in his eyes as he explained to you everything he wished to do which made you equally excited for this trip.

“You take care of everyone else besides yourself, so let me take care of you for once,” you explain as Nanami wraps his arms around you. Big strong arms that were the embodiment of protection, gentleness, and adoration. Not just for you but for everyone around him. Always putting everyone before him. The most selfless man you would ever meet. “Thank you,” a soft whisper from his lips flows into your ear.

You stand in the dark bedroom as your memory comes to an end. Your fingers tremble as you hold the tickets. Your eyes burning as warm tears stain your cheeks. These tickets were supposed to be an escape. An escape from everything around you. Just you and him. But he escaped first.

You feel your heart drop, as you realize the other things escaping you. His scent no longer filled the room, you could barely remember the sound of his voice, you couldn’t remember his soft touch anymore. And all you could was cry and cry till you couldn’t anymore. In his presence, the world took everything from him but his departure took everything from you. And in that one moment you can sympathize with him and you could only think about the comfort you brought him when he had nobody. The joy you brought him when he forgot how to be happy.

But you finally understood why he wouldn’t marry you, why he never wanted children even though he loved them, why he avoided any talk about the future. As much as you tried to understand him while he was alive, you understood too late. Nanami had come to terms with his mortality. It's the type of man he was. He would give his life in an instant. And he did. And you could only be thankful that you were loved by a man like that. Truly the perfect man.

[erinwantstowrite]

Tim AU (Terminal AU)

was thinking lately about how Tim seriously needs his own mantle and that i don't like that he returned to Robin after his stint as Red Robin.... and thus this was created.

named him Terminal because of what you see up there with the definitions. Tim coming into his own hero would be the "death" or "end" of his time as Robin for good, signaling a new era for him. He had to choose this path (because he was forced to). And also, the last one really felt Tim. I wanted to see if there was a part of a camera that I could use as the name (because I am a sucker for Tim and his photography, even if it's not "canon"), and saw the terminal cover and I went looking. and here we are!

It still very much looks like his old Robin suit but that was on purpose. He's not Robin, but I don't think he would branch away from it completely (because for Dick and Jason the circumstances were different), so I think he'd keep most of the suit design, but would go with developing a lot of his own gadgetry. hence: more storage space. (seriously considering that Tim would keep adding belts and then decide to change his pants, and from there he'd start losing aspects of the Robin suit naturally and delve more into an older look.)

color scheme based off of the desert, which I think was a serious turning point for him. + the gas mask because Gotham villains LOVE to poison, gas, etc and Tim, newly spleenless, should not take any chances with that. DC why did we ignore he lost his spleen. why.

(also i am obsessed with the pen I made but I'm still doing some tweaks to it/figuring out exactly how I want it. once i figure it out i WILL be unstoppable just watch me)

[cassiepoppy45]

Hear me out...

This, but Huntlow.

[cabbagege]

Some fav moments from earlier

Me live reaction watching this episode, realising it was the last one:

Unimpressed bitchy face in their DNA

Supportive Hunter and small Omega (really love how adorable (probably sobbing her heart out) she appeared to be. That goofy ‘my brothers never taught me how to do my hair’ hairstyle…)

He’s alive! I screamed when they dragged me to the asylum (I know what you think about me here. I saw. Don’t come to my house, pretty please. Let’s just adore his peaceful face.)

Crosshair is not crying. You are🫵. And supportive Howzer. Call me whatever you want, but I believe in their sudden matching

Just love the lines (and here I say I don't have line art. WHAT. IS. THAT.)

Tech. Tech and damn circles. And DAMN. Who made me do that tattoo-scar??? Huh??? (Looking in the mirror)

They are actually holding hands༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

With all love

He made another mistake

It's always one of them

[starry-bi-sky]

Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)

TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.

(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)

This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.

---------------

Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.

....

The kid is a surprise though.

Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.

There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.

The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.

The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.

He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.

A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.

At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.

Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.

Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"

The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."

Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.

"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."

He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.

The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.

"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.

The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.

Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.

The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.

Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."

[sweetestflow3rs]

i know what you did last summer!