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asiandra-dash · 1 year ago

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Hi i saw u wanna rewrite akikasa hcs PLEASE WRITE ME SOME I BEG /nf /lh

HJKJSKDKHS AKIKASA anyways I was referring to a short story I wrote a while ago but THIS!!! IS (I think) MY FIRST AKIKASA RELATED ASK!!!! I MUST WRITE!!!!!! All I have to do is figure out which thoughts are based on canon and which ones are AUs-

I took 18 days to finally post this because I kept getting ideas and had to force myself to stop because this is way too long 888 words man this ain't fanfiction also if this is illegible I'm sorry none of my headcanon posts will ever be organized no beta or read more we die like my grades after my orchestra field trip

Starting with basic shit Akito is SO so in denial about his feelings and when he's finally fed up with it he chucks it down to infatuation (It is not)

And Tsukasa is an oblivious idiot to everything even though he has a stupid crush on this ginger he just refuses to say anything because he still thinks Akito despises his guts

My guy every little bit of physical contact you make with carrot head makes him look like color hex #ff0000 RGB 255, 0, 0 how do you not notice this

Tsukasa fell first, and they both fell harder >:)

You know Tsukasa'a 1* card where Akito saved the poor man from a spider or something that's when it happened Tsukasa didn't know at first cause like haha who the hell falls in love with someone over something so small I barely even know the guy

If Akito confessed first, after a long moment of awkward silence and Akito wishing the floor would eat him alive, Tsukasa is suddenly hugging him and crying (That's a yes btw)

If Tsukasa confessed first, it would take a bit (probably a few days or weeks) but eventually Akito with the support of everyone finally accepts his feelings for Tsukasa (He didn't tell anyone about the confession btw it was probably Akiyama or one of Tsukasa's friends that told everyone also the threat of Rui was probably another reason he couldn't deny lmao)

Every date, and I mean EVERY SINGLE DATE, Tsukasa will always bring or buy some cheesecakes or pancakes for Akito

And if he doesn't the next time he brings lunch for Akito he'll bring him more cheesecake than he usually does to make up for it

When Tsukasa found out Akito's favorite flowers were sunflowers, he sometimes brings one for him too :D

Tsukasa probably got a pair of sunflower clip-on earrings too (Or whatever they're called)

Tsukasa loves to tackle hug Akito and it never fails to make the ginger laugh <3

Tsukasa borrows Akito's jackets a lot (At least twice a week).

Akito complains about it but let's be honest he loves it when he gets it back and all he smells on it is Tsukasa's scent

Tsukasa loves giving gifts to Akito even if there's no special occasion, usually some type of jewelry like earrings and the next day Akito's most likely wearing it

Obviously, they invite each other to their shows, and sometimes their other bandmates too

During WxS shows Akito's supportive and is internally loud but during VBS concerts Tsukasa is HOLLERING Akito's name and singing along if he knows the lyrics it's embarrassing but if you look closely enough you can tell it hypes up Akito a little more and he tries even harder (An has taken note of this and teases him nonstop about it)

Neither of them are a huge fan of PDA but if you stare long enough you'll probably miss a sneaky little kiss when you blink

That or if Tsukasa's in a really good mood he'll practically cling to Akito (Which is like 50% of the time tbh)

That one post I made on my side blog is real and so is the first tag

Yes Ena and Saki are supportive but holy shit Akito wants to fucking strangle Ena whenever she brings it up (This applies to An too)

Tsukasa helps Akito be more open with his feelings and Akito helps Tsukasa deal with negativity better

Around people, Akito still treats Tsukasa how he would (if Tsukasa isn't being clingy) but once they're alone Akito acts like he's touch starved and refuses to leave Tsukasa alone

Akito sometimes helps Tsukasa with practicing for his shows. He's obviously not as good but he's trying and Tsukasa appreciates his efforts

Tell Akito to say wonderhoy and he'll look at you like you're fucking insane but have Tsukasa tell him and he'll say it as unenthusiastically as he can manage

And then Tsukasa will look at him all :((( and Akito does it with more energy and "jesus fucking christ the things I do to make Tsukasa happy" (It's just a wonderhoy idk why you're so pissed /hj)

I do not understand Japanese and I am not caught up on that one event story with furry Akito so correct me if I'm wrong (about the italicized part) but before Akito gets over his fear of dogs Tsukasa always made sure they would steer clear of them and if one suddenly appeared this blond pink theatre kid is going to protect his pathetic fucking boyfriend with his life

Rui: Is that a hickey? | Tsukasa: No! It’s just a mosquito bite. | Akito, walking into the room: Hey, guys. | Rui: Hi, mosquito.

Whenever one of them stays up really late when staying over. the other tries to convince them to go to bed and cuddle/snuggle with them and it works.

Tsukasa practically begs meanwhile, if possible, Akito hugs Tsukasa from behind and basically just collapses onto him half asleep mumbling into his ear (Can you tell I'm tired it's 1 AM and I got 3 hours of sleep yesterday I'm running off of a power nap rn)

Obviously, Tsukasa can't do anything with Akito like that so he basically carries Akito to the room of whoever they're staying at

Akikasa supremacy WHO'S WITH ME AKIKASA!!!!!!! (I'm dying on a hill please)

Divider / Reply Icon made by me! ( 1 | 2 )

#the brainrot is strong #it is real #(ﾐ ᵕ ﻌ ᵕ ﾐ)┆Wanderer Writes #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #prosekai #pjsekai #project sekai colorful stage #hatsune miku project sekai #hatsune miku colorful stage #akikasa #shinonome akito #akito shinonome #tenma tsukasa #tsukasa tenma #headcanons #pjsk headcanons #I'm gonna die doing as much homework as I can now I haven't been here mentally for the last three weeks I am so far behind

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the-insomniac-emporium · 1 year ago

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tale of woe

ARTICULO MORTIS- the moment of death

(Reblogs/comment are appreciated, I read every tag! :3 See under the read-more for an alternate version without the lighting effect, notes on details, as well as a copy of the final sketch)

The constellation is one of the two mentioned during Cassandra's stargazing scene, Ursa Major. The other, Orion the Hunter, was already featured in my previous piece, Stargazer.

Having a 'halo' of red around her head was one of my earliest concept points for this piece, in reference to her cult ending.

In Romeo & Juliet, Juliet's decision to end her life isn't just about her grief over Romeo, it's the knowledge that her only real options are either to die or to be sent off to live as a nun. When so much of her story is already about trying to choose her own fate, to avoid the life that has been planned out for her, it's easier to understand her final decision. Anywho, the real point of this paragraph is that this is why the left side of the piece features a church building.

The circular window in the church has 8 slices, each with a color representing one of the 7 routes, plus a bonus one for Mia. The colors are all eye-dropped from the character sprites, minus Miranda's, which I selected from the piece I did for her.

The three graves on the left are for the Stans. One of them literally says STAN, one is blank, and the last one has the initials R.S. (Rebecca Stan). On the right side we have a grave for the MC, partially since they die in the cult ending, partially because the right side is more symbolic of the play's canon ending, so the MC's grave is really Romeo's grave.

The main color for the curtains was taken from Cassandra's default sprite, specifically her shirt, because why not? Similarly, the color for the boards/stage at the bottom is taken from her pants. Because why not?

technically the flowers in her hand are supposed to be roses, but I realized about halfway through this piece that over the years my simplified way of drawing roses has gradually turned into just drawing tulips. oops. seriously tho, oops. also realized that this one pan I use for cooking, which I always thought was an 8x8 pan, is actually a 9x9 pan. which explains several recurring difficulties with some of my favorite baking recipes. guess I'm just a silly goose

this had so many layers holy fuck. I used the same file for the original pose sketches, as well as a bunch of reference photos, but even with that in mind it's crazy that this had over 70 layers. by the end there's still, like, 20 active ones. each section had a separate layer for the outline + the color, another couple layers for the banner on bottom, one for lighting, and then the constellation was it's own layer.

Final outline sketch:

Version without the lighting effect (which is intended to mimic the way stained glass looks when hit by sunshine):

#j does art #resident lover #resident lover spoilers #cassandra dimitrescu #this. is kind of. technically r&j fan art.#BUT I ONLY DID IT FOR CASSANDRA OKAY

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bromcommie · 2 months ago

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CATCH UP TAG (BRING IT BACK NOW) (combo edition?)

tagged by @mandyyvibes @somanywords and @thankssaragorn thank you <333

Favorite color: still firmly in camp green. Specifically whatever the fuck it is nature puts in late spring leaves with all that sunlight backlighting them that makes me lose my marbles and just. sit there losing time for hours.

Last song: not a hundred percent sure? Because it was over on YouTube and I have history off but it was probably this guy, which! Sorry, yikes. (I mean that as in: this is deeply heartfelt, but also possibly not entirely translatable nor my brightest musical moment.)

or,

their lyrics are very: was this guy onto something big or was he just onto a realization about empathy most people've already figured out by 14 or was he just very, very high (or am I?) but god, I have an incredible (and incredibly nostalgic) soft spot for The War on Drugs. And also their instrumentals being somehow very melancholy and hopeful at the same time gets me every time. (There's a whole playlist involved, I'm afraid. Some of it blorbo-ified.)

Last book: The Most Secret Memory of Men by Mohamed Mbougar Sarr. I’m only about a quarter in so I’ll abstain from any decisive commentary, but so far I’m mostly enjoying it.

Last movie: The Sound of Music. My grandma had it on the TV last week and was singing along incredibly loudly. We had a blast.

Last TV show: Ugh…season 5 of You. And I hated it profoundly even as an ugh fine play in the background while I make dinner because there's nothing better on Netflix soap opera. It was just...really not very enjoyable to me even within its own established genre. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Immediately before that, season 3 of White Lotus, which I actually have a surprising number of opinions on, but they still for the most part all boil down to: ugh. I guess, fine? Which is not necessarily the sentiment you want to get from your polished, rich people doing wildly entertaining shit HBO drama.

Sweet/savory/spicy: still a sodium freak with a strong spicy streak. But also I’ve had this question a bunch of times in a row now and it’s not all that fun nor revealing (without getting personal), so let me propose either: what's your favorite season (and why)? and/or, do you like golden hour or “blue” hour better (and why)? for anyone else doing this after me. Only if you want, of course.

Last thing I googled, or duckduckgo’d—duckduckwent?—looked up: Franco Citti Accattone. Again. For recreational/R&D purposes, meaning I've made up a blorbo all for myself and assigned him a face and now I have to refer to it for the rest of my life, apparently.

Looking forward to: hanging out with my cousin from out of town this week! Yay! (Also hopefully getting a decent examiner and fucking passing my driver's test in May lol but like. knock on wood, spit on anything within reach, make the sign of the cross three times, or whatever you guys might have to offer. Please.)

Current obsessions: well :) I suppose besides the obvious: my Duolingo streaks that I've recently resuscitated. It's frankly a kind of meh (and aggressive, holy shit) language learning software, esp if you've got multiple languages at different lvls of development, so I'm always looking for better alternatives (please help, again?). But it's a nice compulsion to have as opposed to just refreshing other apps obssessively and if you're really meticulous with it you might even get to write down some word definitions.

Favourite crisp: gonna do the same thing as with the sweet/savoury/spicy thing, and answer—anything very, very salty! And also add: What’s your go-to comfort music/song/playlist? and/or, what’s your creative outlet (even if you don’t consider yourself a “creative” person?)

Last song you sang out loud: honestly no clue. It might be either Somebody Told Me by The Killers or I've Heard That Song Before by Harry James & Helen Forrest. I've been on a weird kick lately

The last book I opened: Nature Is A Human Right ed. Ellen Miles, in trying to find a quote and make someone see a very blatant point. And it didn't work, unfortunately :|

Earbuds, headphones, or nothing? Headphones when on my computer, earbuds on the street and nothing at home. But let me once again be too nosy and offer a replacement ask: Do you get more caught up listening to music by yourself, with friends, or in a crowd?

Last place I went to other than home: driving exam :|||| It went well, until it didn't.

A colour that looks good on you: eh blue or green or black. But who am I to say.

Last trailer you saw: Um, I think Together? Or possibly Bring Her Back? I'm a big trailer person, I watch a lot of them. This month was apparently the psychological horror special. Either way, that's more or less what I want most psychological horror trailers to show me. Yes, girl. Give me a lot of mundane everday acts painted sinister! And possibly a child acting weird! Yes, give me nothing in terms of plot!

I feel like this has been around x500 times but no pressure tagging @helly-ena @emjee @village-skeptic @snowangeldotmp3 @hardtobeasaintdotmp3 @gyokujyn @one-eyed-bossman. And please, anyone else that feels like doing it: do it! <3

#tag game #max.txt #Spotify

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miraculousbohemian · 1 year ago

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Love the reference there, makes me nostalgic as hell. Anywhoooooo

Last song: idk if mind songs count but I'm pretty sure it was Fooled Around And Fell In Love, can't remember who sings it tho

Favorite color: hm. maybe sage green and purple. but navy blue could work it's way up there too.

Currently watching: rn nothing except this screen but NCIS because I'm gay and ellie bishop exists

Sweet/spicy/savory: I eat what I eat. I'm from the Balkans, you eat or you don't, simple as that.

Relationship status: pahahhaa none, aroace bitches

Last Google search: Natalie Portman. Can't remember for the love of God why but it's her.

Current obsession: I'll take any time to mention this, holy fuck I'm preaching every time I can, my current obsession is none other than Xena Warrior Princess, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I've died and am in gay heaven.

okay now the hard part, sorry if you didn't wanna be tagged I follow like 3 people lmao I'm randomly tagging people

@moddieeeex @yomumiscool @theforceisstronginthegirl @haiku-bot-human-version @spidersgeorg @i-am-a-fish

Listen I spent about 20 minutes thinking if I should tag people or not but I do like these kinds of things, with simple questions and not "if your ass is flat, how come the cows fly at a speed of 47.89 shits you just flushed down the drain?" (Math questions amirite?)

thank you @andrwminward !! 9 people you’d like to get to know better

last song: kill her freak out by samia 🩵🩵

favorite color: green !!!

currently watching: women’s d1 ncaa swimming and diving champs 🫶

sweet/savory/spicy: SPICY !! yay

relationship status: single but maybe not for much longer !?!

current obsession: honestly not much rn. working on some new ocs and continuing a fic

last thing you googled: how is college diving scored

no pressure tag: @fromjannah @bnsfrailway @grieving4theliving @mildew-dread-mold @speciouspessimism @littlelesbianlegend @declanshole @likeconcorde and anyone else who wants to 💖

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margoshansons · 4 years ago

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Alina’s Keftas: An Analysis

So I used to be a costume designer, which means that I pay very close attention to movies and tv shows, specifically their costumes (duh), and I noticed a few cool things about Alina’s keftas in the first season of Shadow and Bone and wanted to share them with you.

(tagging @kazinejghafa cause she wanted to see it!)

Let’s start with her blue kefta, the one she wears the most:

Right away, I already notice quite a few things. One, her color blue is a lot darker and richer than Zoya’s and the other Summoners. It’s a way to make her stand out among the Etheralki more than she already does. We know that Alina just wants to be seen as normal and equal, especially when she’s already ostracized for being Shu, but she's already set up to fail because of the color of her kefta.

Number two, Her kefta is made out of silk, while the others are made out of wool. We know that it’s wintertime in Ravka and we also know that many of Grisha eventually go to the front as part of the Second Army, usually wearing wool to protect themselves from the cold. But the choice to make Alina’s kefta silk implies that she was never seen as a soldier by the Darkling, the King, or the Grisha. She’s a figurehead, something to point at and give the people hope. As soon as she was given her blue kefta she wasn’t a soldier anymore, she became a saint.

Third, the kefta does not fit Alina at all. The belt isn’t tight enough, the shoulder seams are lower and don't line up, it’s baggy and ill-fitting. She looks like she’s drowning in it. This is to perpetuate the idea that Alina doesn’t belong among the Grisha yet. She doesn’t feel like she’s one of them and she’s still clinging onto the hope that Mal will show up and she’ll return to the First Army. Alina doesn’t feel like she fits in, and so her kefta doesn’t fit her either.

Also, the colors of her kefta are unique as well. I know according to the books that Blue is the Etheralki color and gold embroidery is for Sun Summoners, but there’s also another connection there. Blue and Yellow are the colors of the Ravka Royal Family. In a way, through wearing that kefta, Alina is pledging allegiance to the King outright. It’s a sign to anyone that Alina is under the King’s protection, that she’s granted the protection she is because she made her promise to destroy the fold to the King. She’s doing it out of love for her country.

Alright, now let's move onto one of my favorite keftas: the Black Kefta.

(Holy shit she looks so pretty)

First thing first, obvious color change. The Blue is gone and replaced by Black, symbolizing her shifting allegiance from the King to the Darkling. She’s not longer destroying the Fold for Ravka, she’s destroying it because it’s what the Darkling wants and she feels as if he’s the one that’s given her new purpose. She’s left the First Army behind and fully embraced her role as a Grisha.

Because as we can see, this kefta fits perfectly.

The shoulder seams line up, the belt cinches directly around her waist, and it looks tailored to her own measurements. But her kefta is still Silk. She’s not seen as a soldier she’s still seen as a figurehead, something that people cannot relate to.

One thing I also want to touch on is the embroidery and the length. This kefta is clearly more elaborate than any of the other ones she wears. The golden embroidery reminds me of a couple things, around the collar it almost resembles a lion’s mane, and lions are often seen as symbols of majesty, strength and courage as well as military might. Alina herself is reveling in her own majesty and strength here, as well as showing off the new military might of the Second Army through her demonstration.

Then the embroidery spreads out down her sleeves almost resembling flames. Now this could be a reference to sun itself and it probably is, but those who read the books know that there is a certain creature with flaming wings that becomes very very important later on, which I believe this is referencing.

The embroidery itself is also symbolizing Alina’s power. The gold embroidery against the black is her Sun Summoning abilities breaking through the Fold, tearing it apart. It also symbolizes the slow way she’s breaking through The Darkling’s demeanor. She has the power here, not him.

The length is also important to note here, because this kefta is much longer than her other ones. If I’m remembering correctly it touches the floor, which, again, differentiates her from other Grisha because theirs fall to their knees or their shins. It can also be seen as The Darkling trying to make Alina seem older than she is, as length (especially in fantasy) is often used to show how old or young a woman is in society.

Finally (I could literally talk about this kefta all day) I’m gonna touch on the neckline because it is so different from anything else we see. EXCEPT for the Darkling.

The collar is obviously much shorter here, but my point still stands. It’s a connection between these two. And knowing that the Darkling commissioned the kefta himself, it’s deliberate. He’s claiming Alina. It’s also important to note that this is the first time we see Alina without the standard undershirt and turtleneck that comes with the keftas. She’s letting the audience and the Darkling know that she’s vulnerable now. She’s opening herself up, and she’s doing it under the careful manipulation of the Darkling.

Alina’s collar also reminds me of Elizabeth the First and the Elizabethan Era with those stiff necked collars. It’s reminiscent of royalty.

Also! One last thing, I love that this kefta looks the most Eastern in style. It reminds me of a kimono and other traditional asian clothing moreso than the other keftas.

Finally, we are discussing the golden kefta.

I love this kefta because it mirrors the black one in every way.

The length is the same, the Darkling still trying to convince both Alina and himself that she’s older than she actually is, that she’s more mature than she is. BUT MY FAVORITE THING IS THAT THE BELT IS IDENTICAL TO THE ONE SHE WORE AT THE FETE.

It’s the same circumstances, a show of military power, but she is not the one in control here. It’s a direct callback to the last time Alina felt powerful and strong, except now the circumstances have completely switched and she’s under someone else’s control. The last time she wore this belt she was someone’s equal, now she’s their slave.

Also the colors have been completely reversed. I talked a little bit about how the gold on black was symbolic of Alina’s power and control over her situation. How it symbolized the light spreading through the darkness and destroying the Fold and breaking through The Darkling’s hard heart. But here it’s the opposite.

The black embroidery almost looks malevolent, spreading and infecting the golden light. The Shadows are creeping through and slowly overtaking Alina just like her light was overtaking the Darkling. The lion symbolism is gone, the firebird symbolism is gone, all we see is black tendrils of shadow reaching out and infecting Alina and her powers. The Darkling is claiming her again, but in a much more malevolent way.

He’s saying “I have corrupted her, she is no longer in power, I am.”

Also again, we have the open neckline, except this one is more westernized. The angular neckline, the lack of a collar or protection. She is completely vulnerable and at the mercy of the Darkling, a white man (synonymous with western power). It’s showing off her amplifier, it’s showing off the Darkling’s claim over her. Almost like a brand or a dog collar. This open neckline is the Darkling’s way of saying “See those antlers? That means she’s mine. I own her.” It’s disgusting and fucked up but it works.

And again, Alina is in silk, not wool. She’s not being taken seriously as a soldier, just a figurehead at the mercy of the highest bidder. First it was the King, now it’s the Darkling. The silk has become symbolic of how she has no real power of her own, that she’s doomed forever to be an outsider among the Grisha.

Which makes it all the more powerful when she takes it back.

Also HER HAIR! I could do a whole other post about her hair but this is already getting too long hahaha.

I hope you enjoyed this deep dive into Alina’s keftas from a Comm Major who has wayyyy too much time on her hands haha.

#shadow and bone #SaB #grishaverse meta #shadow and bone meta #alina starkov #the darkling #alina starkov meta #costume meta #shadow and bone costumes #grishaverse

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isa-ghost · 4 years ago

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JSE Renaissance Week - Day 4

Day 4 (June 28th): Artist’s/Writer’s day. Do you have favorite pieces of fanart, an edit, or a fic that you or someone else has created? Reblog that sh*t with a comment saying how much you love it– it’ll probably make someone’s day! Bonus points if you create something for this. Extra bonus points if it’s a collaboration with another community member!

BOLD OF YOU ALL TO ASSUME I HAVE ANY EGO ART I’VE CREATED THAT I STILL FEEL OKAY POSTING. I’VE IMPROVED SINCE THEN AND IT IS NASTY. EGO ART COMING MAYBE EVENTUALLY.

YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I USED TO MAKE EGO ART. ONLY OG FOLLOWERS WILL REMEMBER THAT SHIT. PLEASE DON’T GO LOOKING FOR IT, I DON’T LIKE MY OLD ART.

Until then I scream like a moron about my favorite creators, some of which have actually moved on from the JSEC but I love them anyway so they can fight me in a dark alley for having the audacity to love them.

*BIG GAY INHALE*

@turquoisemagpie. YOU ABSOLUTE TRADITIONAL ART WIZARD. MY GOD. Your art style has me head over heels all over again with every piece you post. You’re where like- 14 year old me wanted her art to be. You are so insanely talented, your style is amazing, your range is mindblowing, and I cherish the commission of my infamous Bunker Trouble Trio SO MUCH. It was my laptop’s wallpaper for probably over a year. If I hear your commissions are open, I will be HEAVILY considering coming back. I could write an entire post just gushing about how much I love your art. Always keep creating, even what you might think is your worst or less than your usual quality would more than likely be something I’m still working my way up to. You are the DEFINITION of goals. <3

@septic-dr-schneep. WHERE DO I START. Hyperfixation or no hyperfixation, your work ethic is INSANE. I can’t BELIEVE how much you crank out in one hour let alone one day. Even if that’s slowed since before my little Tumblr break, you still blow my mind. I feel drained of creative juices just managing out one long piece for my OCs! Keeping track of a whole series of blurbs, defining canon and not within those, and coming up with a coherent story through each blurb, BASED OFF REQUEST PROMPTS FROM RANDOM PEOPLE? That’s AMAZING. I admire that passion you have so much, and even your breaks and burnouts don’t stop you. I LOVE that!

@lum1natriix. GOD where do I start with your gifs. JSE or other content, they are STUNNING. They’re such smoothly moving, high quality. You put so much work into them and it SHOWS, and I don’t even know where you would Start with making one, it’s always sounded like a Big Process, but your finished products look so awesome! No matter what you make gifs (or edits) of nowadays, I still adore your work. :)

@huffletrax. YOUR ART STYLE IS ADORABLE. It’s so squishy and fun and your coloring is IMMACULATE. And I love that despite your cute, round style, you still really pull off those angsty doodles you make occasionally. >:D You have a range and I’ve loved watching your improvement from the time I was new on Tumblr up to now. Keep going!!

@huffle-dork. I hope this doesn’t count as a mass post because BOY YOU DESERVE SOME APPRECIATION. You have crazy talent, both in your characters AND BACKGROUNDS. MY GOD DUDE, YOUR BACKGROUNDS. Even the ones that are just maybe a swoosh of colors look BEAUTIFUL. Dare I say they’re print worthy all on their own! I love the way you color things, and your style has such range too! Sometimes I can see similarities in my art to yours, and that’s been such a helpful way of keeping my motivation to keep improving up. I admire your art so much, and I love your Subnautica Egos series. <3

@d-structive. GOALS. JUST- GOALS. AGH. I love your style range so much! Your usual squareish stuff, your chibi stuff, your silly shitpost style (dare I callback to the buff ballerina Jameson,,,). All of it!! There’s just something so fun and fluid about it, yet its so square and neatly sharp at the same time! You balance those sorts of elements so well in your art, and I really love your ego designs too. <3 You probably have one of the most easily identifiable Marvin designs in the community, and he’s a little sneaky bastard man. >:D

@spunketpunk. BRUH DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING CAUSE LIKE. WOW. Your COLORING. Your art POPS and its so fucking cool. I love neon and saturated colors and its so rare to find artists who do (at least in my experience) and that’s something that seems like a huge part of your medium and I LOVE THAT. It makes your art insanely unique, and I love the aesthetic of those colors combined with your usually sketchy, messy lineart. Just- *chef’s kiss.* Your originality is fantastic, never lose that no matter what you explore. <3

@dumbthinmint. HEY WHAT’S UP LENGTHY SUPER DEVELOPED AU MAKER BUDDY?? LIKE HOLY SHIT DUDE. The lengths you go research and lore-wise for your AU? BRUUHHH. *slams hands on table* INSANE. And the way you make theory posts IN REFERENCE TO IT? That makes your theorizing stuff SO UNIQUE, I love it! Even when I feel like I can’t push my Ego AU lore with my friends too much further, you’re out here constantly dropping BOMBS of lore and honestly that makes my personal motivation with my own stuff soar right back up. I LOVE watching your AU unfold and progress, and your dedication to it is stunning. :D

There’s so many other artists, writers, editors & more I could tag but I don’t want this post getting 53826 miles long. :’D Just know that if any of you create things and I follow you, I think you’re doing great, I admire your stuff, and I hope you keep it up, no matter if its JSE related or not. <3

#jacksepticeye #jse renaissance week

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leporellian · 5 years ago

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how i would rewrite warrior cats: into the wild

rewriting the entire series is a big Thing in the warrior cats fandom, and i don’t have the time to do that. however i have been having Ideas about what i would do if i rewrote the books, and the changes are... drastic, to say the least, so i figured i would write them down in a bullet-point style List Thing to see what happens.

- we open on henry, an old wise sage-type kittypet, telling two kittypet kits- rusty and smudge- about the forest cats and their legends, primarily that of how the clans were born

- there were always little groups of cats in the forest, and they were originally very hostile- except for a lush spot full of prey, herbs, just about anything needed for survival. this spot has had many names and is referred to by a different name for each clan but universally, it’s called fourtrees, because there are four grand oaks that guard the area. this spot was something of a truce area where all the groups could get along

- however tension slowly boiled throughout the forest until there was a massive war at fourtrees. lots of cats dead and even more wounded. their spirits joined together to form starclan, who told the cats to unite or die- and as punishment for breaking the fourtrees truce, they set the whole thing ablaze. it’s no longer the survival spot it was

- however, the spirits say, the four oaks will grow from their charred remains again, as will the rest of the area. everything will be as it once was in time. starclan themselves cannot last, and must be reborn every 600 moons (or some other large number) from the midst of celestial battle. however, every time this happens, the spirits say, the coming of the ‘end of the stars’ will always and only be heralded by a heroic cat in a flame-orange coat, as a nod to the fire that started the clans to begin with. so it’s kind of like an avatar thing

- anyway 6 moons later there’s a battle at sunningrocks that kills redtail and oakheart. bluestar and spottedleaf, while discussing who will replace redtail, see a comet across the sky

- every falling star means a warrior has faded in starclan, and it means they are to be reborn- and something wonderful is on the cusp of beginning, says spottedleaf. spottedleaf also notes that according to the calendar system kept by the medicine cats the ‘fire alone’ cat should have arrived about 6 months ago, so everyone’s worried about what’s going on w/ that, Where Are They. she does note however that a lot of cats think the calendar had a miscalculation at some point and that the ‘fire alone’ cat is shadowclan’s new leader

- anyway rusty, the kittypet, decides to enter the forest. the twoleg nests here are Not A Good Place for cats to live, bc there’s constant fighting between the kittypets and everyone has their own boundaries and it’s very chaotic. there is a group that tries to monitor it called the blood brothers, but they’re usually in the city so their guidance isn’t often There. so both rusty and smudge want to Get Out and join the clans

- like in the original books he meets graypaw, who’s always interested in outsiders, and then bluestar, lionheart, and tigerclaw. lionheart is graypaw’s mentor, bluestar is thunderclan’s leader, and tigerclaw is bluestar’s nephew who is kindly yet determined, and has become deputy after redtail’s demise. again like in the originals he’s accepted into thunderclan fast

- smudge feels Betrayed. for some reason the writing takes special note of the glimmer in his striped collar- it’s all kind of colors, purple, red, blue, yellow. it’s very distinctive...

- next morning, lionheart and tigerclaw lead rusty to the thunderclan camp. all is well and good until longpaw and sandpaw roll up

- longpaw and sandpaw are twins and look exactly alike. they’re also the children of redtail and are both very competitive with everyone and each other (although they are very close) because they want to be Like Their Dad. both are taking redtail’s death hard

- longpaw is like ‘i wanna beat him up’ and given these are two 10 year olds basically everyone’s like ‘well rusty can fight too so Bet.’ it’s an even fight, longpaw gets his ear torn and rusty gets his collar ripped off

- this fight proves rusty is capable of being in thunderclan, and he’s renamed firepaw, which is a nod to the ‘fire alone’ thing as a ‘hey isn’t it funny he came right after the clock lined up for a fire-cloaked savior? strange lol’

- anyway firepaw is introduced to some Other Characters besides everyone i’ve mentioned thus far: - ravenpaw, medicine cat apprentice. he was a loner kit found abandoned on the territory and he’s constantly nervous and jittery. he’s also kind of clingy and a tad annoying because he’s constantly worried of being abandoned again, but he Is endearing - graypaw and darkpaw, twins similar to longpaw and sandpaw (although unlike them they have an ‘opposite twins’ kinda thing). both are the sons of willowpelt and a shadowclan tom, but both deal with it differently: graypaw is a dreamer who constantly is interested in cats from outside thunderclan ‘like him’, and darkpaw wants to try and overcompensate for it by being nothing but loyal- especially to his mentor, tigerclaw, who’s a father figure to him. dark isn’t mean but he is very sardonic and sarcastic, and it’s also made increasingly obvious that he Knows Something and is very nervous about it. weird - (yes, longpaw and sandpaw are annoyed that they’re the only ‘fully clan’ cats in this batch of apprentices.) - spottedleaf, thunderclan medicine cat. kind of a ditzy aunt type, it’s joked that she acts like a stoner bc she’s inhaling all the Herb Scents all day. fully enables all of the kids to do Dumb Things - the elders, who dislike all these new apprentices bc besides long and sand none of them are fully clan-blooded. the most vocal about this is thistleclaw, an elder always trying to start shit, and tigerclaw’s father (altho tiger is embarrassed by thistle’s outbursts). - and finally, cinderkit, who always tags along w/ the apprentices although she isn’t supposed to. she is however very smart and the apprentices don’t mind her tagging along. she’s made an apprentice like 1/2 way through here

- anyway at the gathering windclan is MISSING and NOBODY seems to know what is going on, but both riverclan and shadowclan are acting shady about it.

- also brokenstar, The New ShadowClan Leader, seems like a nice guy, a Poster Boy type. his fur is bright orange so everyone’s like, ‘yea he’s the fire that’ll herald feline gottdammerung’ but nobody wants to THINK about feline gottdammerung yet because like, That’s An Upsetting Thought! it’s also noted that he’s way young for a leader

- anyway the apprentices (and cinderkit) are like. ‘we gotta know what's happening and why windclan vanished’ and everyone is involved (although sand and long keep their distance). it’s a very ‘up at midnight at a slumber party’ kind of aesthetic. everyone in shadow and river also has a motive, and at points there’s even evidence that something caused windclan to die out. lots of red herrings

- eventually yellowfang comes into the picture like she does in canon and they figure out shadowclan drove windclan out and that windclan is Alive and Out There somewhere. the evidence is enough that spottedleaf and tigerclaw (who's like the Cool Resident Dad) agree about it and so a spy patrol is sent to sneak in on shadowclan

- anyway everyone discovers how fucked up shadowclan is behind the curtain (what with the elder abuse and child warfare) and is like ‘holy shit we gotta stop these guys’ so there’s a big fight like in the original book and brokenstar is dethroned like he is in canon and brought to thunderclan

- thunderclan saves the day, yellowfang joins spottedleaf in the med cat den, and the apprentices all get names (save ravenpaw who’s a med cat apprentice)- firepaw is fireheart, graypaw is graystripe, darkpaw is darkstripe, longpaw is longtail (in honor of redtail), and sandpaw is sandstorm. it’s noted darkstripe looks super uncomfortable when tigerclaw is mentioned to be deputy. long and sand have a humorous argument abt their names and who got the Cooler One

- however everyone’s like ‘ok so brokenstar wasn’t the Fire Savior so who IS’ and fire is dismissed out of hand bc he’s a kittypet and all the past fire saviors was clanborn. ravenpaw however tells fireheart in private that he believes fireheart is the Fire Alone, and that Shit Is About To Go The Fuck Down

- meanwhile, darkstripe asks if he can see fireheart alone, and fireheart obliges. darkstripe sits down and, very quietly, says ‘i have to tell you about what happened to redtail.’

- and it ends there lol that’s book one.

#warrior cats #warrior cats rewrite #rambles

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collisiondiscourse · 4 years ago

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Ok i'll bite what's a homestuck ~ra✨

oh!! you said the magic words, ra <3 so! without further ado...

let me tell you about homestuck.

ok i never really expected this day to come but holy shit it did and now i am incredibly stumped for words.

homestuck is... a lot. its a webcomic, for starters, that ran from April 13 of 2007 to April 13 of 2016. it was made by andrew hussie, his magnum opus from his series of MS Paint Adventures which is named such due to the art... being made in MS Paint.

the whole hubbub and reason why every 4/13 homestucks come crawling from the pits of hell with grey paint and apple juice is because it is the most significant date in the series. Aside from it being the literal start and end points of the webcomic itself, April 13 is the birthday of homestuck’s main character: John Egbert.

The series itself revolves mainly around four teenagers: John Egbert, Dave Strider (my beloved <3), Rose Lalonde, and Jade Harley. They play this game called SBURB and are essentially... sucked into it and undergo lots of crazy shit within it. I don’t want to get too into it, but its... certainly interesting. For reference, remember they are called the Beta Kids.

At some point in the series, our four protagonists encounter twelve new characters (known as the Beta Trolls) notably themed after each of the zodiacs. These characters are known as trolls. They have grey skin, yellow eyes, and candy corn-esque horns, which is why youll often see many people with those features in the tags of homestuck. They are also major characters in the series and are fan favorites of MANY.

Hussie created an entire culture for these creatures. buckets are known contraceptives and the world they live in is hierarchal. Their worth is based on the color of their blood (candy red being the mutant outcasts, to fuschia being royalty), and each troll of these twelve is denoted by their zodiac symbol.

they also have a different social structure.

of the troll romances, there are four kinds. this isnt super relevant, but most people are confused so here is a breakdown of Quadrants that is grossly oversimplified. also note that these are usually portrayed as monogamous (i.e. you can only have one of each quadrant)

- Matesprits (♡) are your typical lovers--translated as romance to humans. noun: matespritship

- Moirails (♢) are your best friends. they also have the task of being your pseudo-therapist because alternia (troll world) is fucked up like that. noun: moirallegience

- Kismesis (♤) are... hate fucks? essentially they’re your sworn enemies but also you care about them and have sex sometimes. enemies to lovers but you never stop being enemies personified. noun: kismesissitude

Auspistices (♧) are like self designated referees or marriage counsellors. They usually find antagonistic troll pairs and work their problems out, basically feeling nosy because they want their friends to get along.

i really dont have any excuse for why these are so complicated, but the common excuse is that trolls are incapable of feeling like, love as we know it? a lot of their base feelings are pointed towards lust or pity. idk. my homestuck knowledge is rusty. also all the trolls are canonically pansexual i think?

ANYWAY.

Homestuck is typically lauded for its both amazingly chaotic vibes (search Dave Strider quotes or dancestors character designs for reference) and interesting storytelling medium. it doesnt tell a story like any other piece of media ive ever consumed, thus making it interesting to go through. The whole thing also began on a poll system wherein fans actually CHOSE the actions taken in the story before it got too big and hussie simply wrote it by himself. all of the music and animation was made by FANS in collaboration with hussie, leading to AMAZING sequences, [S]Cascade (which is up on youtube!) being one of the best examples.

the whole series is beset on all sides with lots of inane and colorful ideas. Some may call homestuck too “”busy”” and cramped to be good, which i dont totally disagree with. Amid the already colorful cast and dialogue, homestuck also touches many things like time travel, parallel universes, and even existentialism at a few points.

The timeline for each character is absolutely whack beyond comprehension, and most characters in the series have died at least TWICE (Dave and Dirk at the lead with at least 8 deaths each). There are even further amounts of mindfuckery with alternate sets of characters like the Alpha Kids, composed of Jane Crocker (also born 4/13), Dirk Strider, Roxy Lalonde, and Jake English.

Among these characters, I’d like to say that Jane is technically John’s grandmother while John is Jane’s father, Dirk is Dave’s older brother/father and Dave is ALSO Dirk’s older brother and father, Roxy and Rose are each other’s moms, and Jake and Jade are somehow each others grandparents.

Confused? We are too.

...and psst, there are Alpha Trolls aka The Dancestors too. One’s themed after Dante Basco.

Moving on from that, there are guardians and travellers and even more troll ancestors--basically so many characters that if i listed them all i think tumblr would crash this post. They all die and live and fight and die again over and over, but I think that getting into it would reveal a few too many spoilers and also just make my fingers hurt.

Definitively? I don’t think there’s any way for me to tell you all about homestuck and my deep feelings on it in a single sitting and one ask. The webcomic is a vast and deep experience that I don’t want to ruin you experiencing for the first time with too much babbling, but just know that it is something i think is simply brilliant. People definitely shit on it, and most homestucks will tell you themselves ironically or unironically that it ruined their lives, but as a final note--i just wanted to end my 4/13 ramble with one final reference.

you can’t fight the homestuck <3

p.s. even if you aren’t gonna get into the series, at least listen to john’s theme song. its really nice. also you can’t fight the homestuck is a classic

john’s theme

#homestuck #long post #asks #ra gets her own tag

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hopelikethemoon · 5 years ago

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New Tricks (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: New Tricks Rating: PG-13 Length: 4000 Warnings: Discussions of sex, sex toys, etc. annnnd family fluff. Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set in late October 1997. A few things to point out: pegging was not coined until 2001, so the use of it in this fic is a bit anachronistic, but alas. That whole portion of the upcoming plot will slowly come out over the next week or so. Also, the location she mentions living near is a famous shop in Philly. This is derived from my personal background for reader (here). Shoutout to @propertyofpoeandbucky for the idea for the second half of this fic. Summary: Javier and Reader work towards trying something new.

Taglist: @grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut @just-add-butter @snivellusim @amarvelousmandalorian @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper @awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @beskar-droids @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @longitud-de-onda @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @seeking-a-great--perhaps @frietiemeloen @arrowswithwifi @random066 (more tags in the replies)

“If any of my students catch me in here…” Javier told you lowly, pushing his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose, before he shoved his hands into his leather jacket.

“Well you’re drawing attention to yourself.” You told him, giving him a pointed look as he shifted his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet, rocking back and forth as you perused the aisle. “Chill. It’s a sex shop, Javi. It’s not like we’re buying blow.”

“I’d rather be doing that.” He retorted, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he met your gaze. “Do you really think this is what Nancy meant when she told us to be adventurous?” He questioned, glancing towards the shelves.

You rolled your eyes, “She gave me the address.”

“Shit.” He huffed, crossing his arms across his chest now. “How adventurous are we talking, baby?” Javier questioned, following behind you as you stopped in front of a display of vibrantly colored dildos.

You pursed your lips as you tilted your head to look at him. “I don’t know. How adventurous do you want to be?” You questioned, turning then and resting your hand on his shoulders. “I want us both to be comfortable.”

“I dunno,” Javier dragged his teeth over his bottom lip as he glanced at the display, brows furrowing. “Let’s stick to things that aren’t going to bruise my ego.” You followed his line of sight to a dildo that was significantly larger than he was.

You tried not to laugh, but failed. “You’re more than enough for me, babe.” You promised him, leaning up on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek.

Javier huffed, tilting his head to look down at you. “I get the impression you know a lot about this shit.” He gestured vaguely around the shop.

“A bit.” You shrugged a shoulder. “I can’t say I’ve tried a lot, but I’m aware of it.” You brushed your fingers over the hair that fell against his forehead, before tracing your fingertip over the worry line between his brows. “We don’t have to do anything, Javi. We came, we’ve seen, we can tell Nancy nothing struck our fancy.”

“Can I help you guys find anything?” Asked the shop employee, who had already introduced himself to you as Rocky when first you came in.

Javier clenched his teeth and shook his head, “We’re good. Still looking.”

“Well, if you need any help I’m here.” He offered, looking between the two of you. “The first time in a shop like this can be a little overwhelming.”

“I actually used to live near The Pleasure Chest,” You told him as you took Javier’s hand into yours, interlacing your fingers. You knew he was uncomfortable.

“Lucky girl,” Rocky grinned at you. “I’ve ventured north twice to hit that spot. Worth it.” He looked towards Javier then. “Your first time?”

Javier made a vaguely disgruntled face as his other hand went to his hip. “Our therapist suggested the place.”

“Trouble?” He questioned with a frown.

“No, actually.” You were quick to interject. “But she suggested that we might want to try something new together…”

Javier truly looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. “I mean, what are we supposed to try?” He questioned, shaking his head slowly. “We’ve got two kids. It’s not like we can install that⁠—” He pointed towards a sex swing that was set up at the far end of the aisle.

Rocky laughed, “Sounds like quite the dilemma. There’s always costumes. Most people enjoy a little roleplay in the bedroom.” He suggested, but you shook your head.

“We are terrible at that.”

“Because you break character.” Javier pointed.

You shot him a look. “Oh, so you do like that, Professor?”

Javier glared at you.

“I seem to remember someone didn’t enjoy pretending to be strangers.” You reminded him.

Rocky looked between the two of you, “Have you ever considered pegging?”

“Excuse me?” Javier questioned, his head jerking as he stared back at Rocky.

You just gaped. Holy shit.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Rocky laughed nervously. “Well, I absolutely understand that it’s not something every man is into, I personally think it’s worth a try. You might surprise yourself. A lot of men say they have their best orgasms from the experience. Not to mention, their partners enjoy being in control.”

“I don’t think so.” You offered with a shake of your head. Your face felt like it was on fire and suddenly your throat was very dry. It certainly put an interesting picture in your mind. But Javier would never. Though, he never had any argument against letting you take the lead in the bedroom.

No. He would never.

“Alright, well... I’ll leave the two of you to look around.” Rocky said, before excusing himself.

Javier looked dumbfounded, hands shoved back into his pockets as he turned to stare at the wall of dildos again.

“We can leave.” You told him, looping your arm around his as you leaned into his side. “I know you’re uncomfortable.”

He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, as he exhaled heavily. “This is all just outside of my frame of reference.” He admitted. “I think you and I were raised in very different locales.”

You nodded in agreement. “I can’t imagine Texas being very…” You gestured towards the dildos. “And I’ve been to Laredo.” It was a one horse town that had more churches than people.

Javier cleared his throat, shuffling somewhat awkwardly as he nodded his head towards the display. “Is that what he was talking about?” He questioned, glancing sideways at you.

You chewed on the inside of your bottom lip as you nodded. “Yeah, that’s the uh… the harness.” You wrapped your arms around your waist nervously, looking between the device and Javier curiously. “Did that actually pique your interest?”

“No.” He answered a little too quickly, scratching at his jaw. “I don’t know.”

Your brows shot upwards. “Really? Huh.”

“Huh?”

You cocked your head to the side, “It’s just… You’re very in control.” You gestured to him, tightening your fist to symbolize just how very much in control he was when it came to life. “I can’t really picture you letting me fuc⁠—”

“I get it.”

You stepped around him and picked up the box containing just the harness, flipping it over to look at the instructions on the back. Your cheeks were burning with a flush that you could feel spreading down your neck and across your chest. Even your ears felt like they were on fire. “Really?” You said again, turning to look at Javier. “I’m definitely not judging, I’m just surprised.”

“I mean…” He rubbed at the back of his neck, “We couldn’t be accused of not being adventurous if we give this a try.”

You snorted, “Because that’s definitely the only reason for me to peg you.” You sat the box back on the shelf, turning to face him. “I think it’s something you’re supposed to build up to.” You explained, “We can just get a toy to start.”

“Smart.” Javier’s brows drew together as his teeth dug into his bottom lip. He looked back towards the display apprehensively. “I could hate it.”

“You could.” You agreed, leaning towards him and resting your cheek against his arm. “Or you could really enjoy it.”

He curled his arm around your waist, hooking his finger in your belt loop. “Yeah.”

Your eyes flickered over the offerings on the shelf, before you spotted a slim neon blue toy with a flared base. It wasn’t particularly large and the box advertised that it was For Beginners. “What about…” You pointed at it and you felt him stiffen.

Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. “We take this to the grave.”

“Oh, babe… I wouldn’t dare.” You snaked your arms around him. “I don’t even know if I want to tell Nancy.”

He pursed his lips and shook his head. “And we never speak of it again if I hate it.”

“Agreed.”

Javier pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Fuck.” He chuckled, rubbing his hand over the small of your back.

You pulled away from him as you leaned down to pick up the box, “Do you want to wait outside while I buy it?”

“Yeah.” He scraped his nails against his jaw as he shifted on his feet.

Apparently there were still things left to be learned about Javier. You had assumed that he’d rather die than be into anything of the more taboo nature in the shop, but apparently you were wrong. You couldn’t deny the picture you had in your mind’s eye was a very appealing one.

“You’re sure about this?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I think it’s worth an attempt.”

“I’m not going to lie to you, Javi.” You told him, tapping the box against the center of his chest. “The idea of you letting me use this on you is… very appealing.”

Javier cocked a brow upwards, “Really?”

You nodded, grinning up at him. “What can I say? I love it when you’re at my mercy.”

He hooked his fingers in your belt loops and pulled you towards him. “I’m always at my mercy, baby.” Javier told you, leaning down to kiss you gently. “But we tell no one.”

You crossed your finger across your chest. “To the grave.”

⁠—⁠—⁠—⁠—

You knelt down on your knees in front of Josie, “Please be careful, sweetheart. You have a mouth full of pretty teeth that the tooth fairy isn’t ready to come collect.” You warned her as you tied the laces of her roller skates.

“I’ll be careful, mommy.” She promised, grinning broadly at you and pointing at her teeth. “I have big girl teeth.”

“Not quite.” You chuckled, shaking your head. Though she did have one loose tooth. You weren’t sure you were ready for your four-year-old to have grown-up teeth. She was still your little baby.

You stood back up, holding out your hands for her as she slid off the chair and tried to balance on her feet. “Ooo! I can roll!” She squeezed your hands excitedly, slowly sliding her feet back and forth like she was walking.

Javier returned with two boxes of roller skates, sitting them down on the chair beside Josie’s. “Look at you!” He clapped for her, before he scooped her up into his arms, much to her delight. “Are you going to be safe out there?”

“Yeah!” Josie promised him, throwing her arms around his neck.

You sat down in the chair and kicked off your shoes, opening the box Javier had brought over to grab your own pair of skates. “I’m going to warn you, it’s been since before Colombia since I’ve skated.”

Javier gave you a look, “You think I’ve gone skating since we got to Miami?”

“Who knows what you and Steve get up to.”

“Not this.” He nodded his head towards the rink, where Olivia and the rest of her birthday guests were already darting around on rollerskates.

“I’m just saying, he’s got rollerblades. He knows what he’s doing.” You shrugged as you started lacing your shoes up. “Are you actually going to get out there?” You questioned, glancing up at him as he tossed Josie into the air, making her giggle and squeal.

“You’re going to get kicked in the face with skates.” You warned him.

“Yeah.” He laughed, sitting Josie back down on her feet. “And yeah, I guess I’ll give a try.”

“I’ll give you the same warning I gave her. Don’t break anything.” You looked up at him from under your lashes. “Old man.”

Javier feigned offense, “Did you hear that, JoJo? Your mom thinks I’m old.”

She scrunched up her nose and looked up at him. “But you are old daddy!”

You snorted. “This is what you get for telling her you had a pet dinosaur when you were a kid.”

Javier rolled his eyes. “I’m surrounded.”

“Surrounded by what?” Monica questioned as she joined the three of you, already laced into her boots.

“People who think Javi’s old.” You informed her with a grin.

Monica laughed, “I’d comment, but I want a good grade in class.” She gestured beside her, “You guys remember Nadia.”

“Nice to see you again,” Javier gave her a nod as he sank down into the seat beside you, opening up the box of rollerskates.

“Are you really going to skate?” Monica arched a brow.

Javier pursed his lips, looking between the two of you. “Do you both know something I don’t know? Did my doctor call?”

You leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You already complain about your back, Javi.”

“I can skate.” He assured you, reaching over to give your knee a squeeze. “And someone’s gotta make sure Josie doesn’t wipe out.”

Josie put her hands on her hips, “I don’t need help!” She announced, turning to Monica. “I have Monica!”

“I think Monica and Nadia might want to skate alone, sweetheart.” You told her as you gave her a warning look. You had tried to teach Josie that there were times when Monica wanted to be alone, mostly when she was studying… but sometimes Josie missed the cues.

“It’s really okay,” Monica assured you, holding her hand out for Josie.

“Are you sure?” You looked between her and Nadia.

Nadia shrugged. “I’m the one who agreed to a date at a child’s birthday party.”

“Have fun, please.” You told Monica, “And send her back if she’s too much.”

“Will do.” She and Nadia both gave you mock salutes, before they skated off with Josie in between them.

“At least she’ll have fun.” You remarked as you finished tying your laces, giving Javier a sideways look. “All this teasing and I’m sure I’m going to be the one to bust my ass.”

“Karma.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth and shot you a look as he laced up his shoes. “You’re going to give me a complex, baby.”

“And what kind of complex is that, hmm?” You arched a brow. “Because I noticed two of those mothers sizing you up like a piece of cake.”

Javier huffed, shaking his head. “Yeah, like the fathers weren’t ogling you.”

“They just can’t handle how hot we are.” You remarked as you stood up, testing your balance on the skates. “Okay, it is like riding a bike.” You said as you rolled backwards, shifting your weight as you slowly turned in a circle. “And for the record,” You told him, rolling towards him and planting your hands on his shoulders as you leaned forward, lips close to his ear. “You’re my favorite slice of cake.”

He took your hands as you stood back up, letting you pull him to his feet. He was not quite as steady on his feet as you were, but after a couple minutes of slowly gliding over the carpeted floor outside the rink, he was ready to join the madhouse of children and parents rolling around the skating rink.

Javier interlaced his fingers with yours as you skated side-by-side around the outside of the rink, maneuvering around slow moving children who were using PVC roller walkers to make their way around the rink.

Once you both caught up with Monica and Nadia, you traded off with them, letting Josie skate in between you and Javier so they could go off and have a proper date. You were thrilled that she had found someone to spend time with. As much as you loved having her around the house to help (and pay penance for the drama she caused) you mostly just wanted her to be happy. She was a good kid, and you wanted the world for her. Just like you wanted the world for your own flesh and blood.

“Mommy, I’m thirsty!” Josie complained.

“We should probably check on Sofia anyways.” You pointed out, guiding the three of you towards the exit point.

“I’m waiting for Connie to tell us they’re going to try to adopt another kid,” Javier quipped, “I’m afraid Sofia’s given her baby fever all over again.”

You laughed, “Does Steve want another one?”

“No.”

“Two is already a lot to handle.”

“Yeah, I know.” He gave a pointed look down at Josie who was clinging to his hand.

“Ditto.” You played with Josie’s curls, “Why don’t you go with daddy to get some punch, sweetheart.”

“Okay.” She nodded, holding both of her arms up in the air, so Javier had to carry her. You were actually impressed that he was able to carry a squirming four-year-old and skate his way around the rink towards where the refreshments were set up.

You skated over towards Connie who was settled into a booth with Sofia and Emily, who was not interested in skating with her sister. “Having fun?” You questioned as you slid into the booth across from them.

“Yeah!” Connie nodded. “I’m so glad so many people decided to come out for this. With how close it’s getting to Halloween, I didn’t know how many people wanted to be out with their kids two Fridays in a row.”

“Josie’s having a blast.” You grinned. “I think everyone’s having fun.” You looked towards Emily. “Except for someone.”

“She’s at the stage where she doesn’t want to do anything her sister wants to.”

“I’m dreading that.” You admitted, peering across the table at the drawing Emily was working. “What’s that?” You asked her.

“Hunchback.”

“Oooh, a coloring book.” You said with feigned enthusiasm. “We just got Josie a Beauty and the Beast one the other day.”

“I like Belle.” Emily beamed.

“Josie does too.” You looked towards Connie then. “Have you seen Hunchback? It’s intense for a kid.”

Connie made a face and nodded. “I told Steve to watch it first, but he didn’t listen. Liv was terrified. Emily, not so much.”

You chuckled, “Wildly different kids, huh?”

She nodded, looking towards Emily with a fond smile. “I think this one’s going to end up a politician. I’ve never seen a three-year-old debate the way she does.”

You shook your head as you laughed, “Tell her to be a lawyer instead. Still corrupt, better pay.”

“So… how are things?” Connie questioned, folding her arms atop the table as she regarded you with an arched brow.

You rubbed at the back of your neck, “I mean therapy is definitely helping. Nancy’s really got us working on aspects of our relationship that we didn’t really realize had issues.”

“Issues?”

“Yeah.” You shrugged. “I mean none of it is really serious, but we’re both… I don’t know, bad at communicating.”

“Really?”

“I know. Surprise.” You shook your head. “We’ve both shielded each other from a lot of misunderstandings and weird emotions.” You glanced towards the rink, brows furrowed as you sought out Javier amongst the crowd. He had Josie on his shoulders while he chatted with Steve. “I still have bad days,” You admitted to Connie as you looked back at her. “Sofia is so different from Josie. She was such a good baby, but with Sofia it’s just… I don’t know how much of it is actually an issue and how much of it is just my brain telling me its an issue.”

“Is the medicine helping?”

You nodded. “Yeah. First week or so it made me super exhausted. But that’s better now.”

“Any other problems?”

“None.” You smirked. “I’m fortunate that those side effects didn’t crop up. I would’ve died.”

“I know I didn’t really know Javi that well before you came to Colombia, but…” Connie shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just very impressed with him.” She gestured towards the skating rink, where Steve and Javier were helping their daughters skate backwards. “I never pictured him as the type of man who would go to therapy for his partner.”

You smiled as you watched him scoop up Josie as she started to fall backwards in her attempt to skate. He bounced her in his arms, before setting her back on her feet and encouraging her to try again. “He’s a better man than he’s willing to accept.”

“Honestly, I feel like an idiot.”

“Why?”

Connie gave you a look, “All those times I tried to set him up with someone.”

You shrugged, “You were just trying to be a good friend.”

“But you were right there.”

You nodded your head slowly. “I was, but… things worked out for the best.”

“If we’re being honest,” Connie lowered her voice. “I used to think Javier would be a terrible influence on Steve. I mean, I never doubted Steve, but when you spend all that time with someone willing to… you know.”

“I know you judged me too.”

Connie made a face, “Just a little bit of judging.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “No shame in that.”

“But I’m glad things have worked out for the two of you.” She told you honestly. “I always wanted the best for both of you, I just didn’t realize the best was together.”

You shrugged, “I mean, neither did we. If you and Steve hadn’t decided to leave, who knows where we’d be right now.” You made a face. “I don’t like any of the alternatives that don’t lead me here.”

Sofia started fussing in her baby seat and you gestured for Connie to pass the carrier across the table. “Is it too noisy in here for you?” You questioned, as you unstrapped her and picked her up.

She tried to fit her fist into her mouth, cooing as you sat her on the edge of the table, cradling the back of her head. “She’s started rolling over.”

“Big milestone.”

You couldn’t help but smile as Sofia gurgled and waved her slobbery fist at you. “What? You want kisses?” You questioned, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead and then each cheek. “I just can’t believe how fast four months have come and gone.”

“Almost five.” She pointed out.

“I can't even believe that Josie is as big as she is. Time’s… moving quickly.” You shook your head slowly. “You’re getting so big.” You scrunched up your nose, leaning in to nuzzle it against her cheek.

“You’re not bad on those.” Connie quipped and you glanced to your right as Javier rolled towards the table. You scooted over, giving him space to sit down.

“Worn out?”

“That child can go and go.” He swept his hand over his forehead. “Monica’s got her.”

“Good.” You leaned towards him and pressed your cheek against his shoulder with a sigh. “We were talking about how big the girls are getting.”

“It’s fuc— freaking crazy.” He corrected himself, glancing towards Emily who was working on deciphering some puzzle on one of the coloring pages. “Though someone seems to think I’m getting crotchety.”

You snorted, “Well, if you keep using old man words.”

He squeezed your leg under the table, “Not too old that I’m not willing to learn a few new tricks.”

Your cheeks burned, but you occupied yourself with your daughter, rather than acknowledging what he’d said. “Just you wait until your father gets you walking early like he did with your sister.” You gave her foot a squeeze as she started kicking them towards you.

“Gimmie.” Javier held his hands out and you let him take Sofia. “She’s got a strong kick.” He remarked, grimacing a little as her foot knocked into his sternum. “I’m telling you, both of our daughters are going to be soccer players.”

“How’s Josie enjoying gymnastics?” Connie questioned.

“Better than ballet.” You rolled your eyes. “The moms aren’t nearly as…”

Javier snorted, “The moms don’t have a pact at gymnastics.”

“I still don’t get it.” You teased, nudging him in the ribs.

He turned and pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose. “You must see something.”

You lifted your hand and brushed your fingers over his forehead, fluffing his hair as you grinned at him. “Yeah, I guess I see a whole lot of something I like.” You pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

“Love you too, baby.”

“You’re both disgusting,” Connie remarked with a grin.

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “Trust me, I know.” You rested your cheek against his shoulder again, watching Javi as he entertained Sofia.

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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olliedollie1204 · 5 years ago

Text

by the book

Virgil didn’t think this day could surprise him further. He was wrong.

Pairings: Platonic Virgil and Logan, Romantic Moceit, Familial Moceit and Logan

Word Count: 3,268

Tags: Librarian Virgil, Kid Logan, building towards eventual Romantic Anamoceit

sequel to my last fic for future reference, bc i’m gay and library meet cutes are ESPECIALLY cute

(Read it on AO3!)

If you had asked Virgil how he’d be spending his afternoon, he wouldn’t have said this.

Usually at this time of day, he’d be finishing up whatever book he’d decided to read during his shift the night before. He’d take his lunch break in the back (which consisted of listening to music as he debated what book to bring in the next day), and by the time he was back on the reference desk he’d be ready to spend the rest of his shift trying to beat his high score on Temple Run.

Today, though, his pattern seemed to be disrupted just a bit. Probably by the fact that a five year old child with a mouth that ran a mile a minute had come up to him unsupervised, asked for his help finding a very specific book, and basically kidnapped him back to the children’s section, where the two of them had spent the last hour doing anything and everything that Logan wanted.

Virgil tried to summon up an ounce of irritation at that fact. He was, overall, unsuccessful.

Right now, Logan was in the bathroom (after giving Virgil an amusingly childish explanation of how he didn’t need his dads to help him go potty anymore) so Virgil was taking the time to straighten up the game table from their activities. Logan had moved on to the library’s Lego collection, so he figured it was alright to put the checkers, dominos, and Connect Four pieces back into their proper boxes.

“Fuck,” he muttered softly as he dropped a handful of game pieces onto the floor. He leaned over to scoop them up, but to his surprise there was already a hand there to grab them.

“Maybe no swearing in the playzone, okay, Virgil?”

Virgil raised his head, giving Dot a guilty look.

“Sorry,” he replied. He always had to fight the urge to call her ma’am, considering she was only a few years older than him.

Dot waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. I know you’re not used to being near the kids, but something tells me you weren’t given much of a choice today, huh?”

She smiled and nodded her head toward Logan’s book basket on the floor. Virgil huffed a laugh.

“Yeah. You know he walked all the way to the ref desk?”

“I watched him go,” Dot replied. As Virgil’s eyes widened, she shrugged. “The library really isn’t that big, sweetie. I can see your desk from here.”

Virgil furrowed his brow. He straightened up in his seat, turned his head almost all the way around, and— oh, huh. There was his desk, half obstructed by the shelves and book displays, but easily within sight of the children’s section.

“Guess I don’t look up that much,” he admitted. Dot snorted as she helped him close the last box, grabbing them all and sliding them back into place on the toy shelf.

“Definitely wouldn’t kill you to look at the world around you once in a while,” she agreed. Virgil felt a small burst of anxiety at the notion that she was reprimanding him for not doing his job well enough, but her kind smile and teasing tone made him relax just a bit.

“The book club’s just about done, by the way,” she continued, standing up and walking back toward the children’s desk. “Keep an eye out for his dads for me, hon? I’ve got shelving to do.”

Virgil hummed in assent, now focused on watching the bathroom door as he waited for Logan to exit. While he waited, he saw a group of people spilling out the community room and dispersing through the library.

Keeping one eye on the bathroom door, Virgil bent over to move the young boy’s book basket from the floor to the table. He collected the two baby name books in his arms; just as Logan said, they were too big and heavy to fit into the already overstuffed basket.

He glanced back at the door, a sudden twinge of worry hitting him when he still didn’t see Logan exit. He spun around, ready to scan the library to make sure he hadn’t wandered off again—

And immediately Virgil tripped over his own feet, falling to his knees on the thin colorful carpet. He fumbled the books for just a moment before they, too, fell from his arms and slammed loudly against the floor.

Virgil hoped that his face wasn’t as red as it felt, but he knew he was probably fooling himself.

“Are you okay?”

Virgil nodded, eyes on the floor as he quickly tried to pick up the books. “I’m fine.”

“Are you lying?”

This voice was different from the first, and that fact combined with the strange phrasing made Virgil’s brow furrow in confusion. “No, of course I’m not—”

He looked up, and now his face was certainly as red as it felt (possibly even redder), because he found himself staring at two of the most handsome men he’s ever seen outside of his romance novels.

“Um,” Virgil said eloquently. “I—”

His words cut off as the first man (tall, heavyset, with a pair of wire rimmed glasses on his face) abruptly grabbed his arm, helping him keep his balance as he slowly stood up again.

“Did you enjoy your vacation?” he asked, and Virgil had half a second to wonder if he somehow got a concussion before the man finished, “Because that was quite a trip you just took!”

Virgil felt his jaw drop a bit at the… frankly atrocious pun, holy shit. The other man seemed disappointed but not surprised, whapping the first man’s arm with no real strength.

“Please excuse my husband,” he said formally, his dark eyes shining out from his lean, angular face. “He somehow thinks punning at random strangers is both appropriate and appreciated.”

“It worked on you, didn’t it?” the first man interjected, wrapping an arm around the second man and giving him a kiss on the temple. The second man huffed, but Virgil was quickly understanding that his irritation was mostly for show.

“My name is Janus,” the second man continued, reaching a hand out to shake Virgil’s hand. “And this is my husband Patton.”

It took Virgil an inordinately long second to respond, but he finally managed to shift the books in his arms and shake Janus’ hand.

“It’s, um, very nice to meet you,” he replied. God dammit, did his voice sound weird? Why did his voice sound weird? Did he get a concussion? “Uh—”

“Oh my gosh, are you expecting, too?”

Virgil cut himself off as the first man, Patton, gasped in delight. Virgil’s brow furrowed before he could help it, but after a moment he realized Patton was pointing toward him, toward the books in his arms. The baby name books in his arms.

Virgil’s eyes widened. “Oh! Um, I—”

Janus gave an overdramatic groan. “Please, Patton, I thought we came here to get away from all of the baby talk.”

“No, I know, but—” Patton replied, waving his hands in excitement. “We did this to meet new people with common interests, and look! A new person with a common interest, right?”

The corner of Janus’ mouth twitched. For some reason, Virgil very much wanted to see his full smile. “You’re right, darling. Maybe if we give our new friend a moment to speak, we can arrange an outing together.”

“Please say yes,” Patton interrupted, and for a moment Virgil considered doing whatever the hell he asked for as long as he kept talking. “Please say yes! I wanna get to know more new parents in the area!”

“We’re hardly ‘new parents’, dear. We’ve done this before.”

“Yeah, but not for years, honey. And not with twins!”

Oh. Oh. The pieces clicked together in Virgil’s head embarrassingly slowly.

“Wait,” he interjected, causing both men to look at him. “Are you—”

A small gasp came from behind them.

“Daddy! Papa!”

Just like that, Logan darted forward, diving in front of Virgil to wrap his arms around Patton and Janus’ knees.

Patton’s face somehow broke into an even larger smile at his son’s sudden appearance. “Hey, kiddo! Are you okay?”

Logan nodded, bouncing on his heels. “I found the books! I found the books!”

“What books, professor?” Janus asked, resting his hand on the top of Logan’s head in a move that was both fond and protective.

Logan reached up, yanking at the hems of his parents’ shirts. “I found the books for the babies’ names! Mr. Virgil helped me!”

Both men paused for just a moment. Their eyes flickered between Logan, to Virgil, and back again; after a beat, their eyes went wide in understanding.

“Did you do that for us, Logan?” Patton asked, picking Logan up and hoisting him onto his hip. His hands were large and calloused, and yet he somehow managed to hold Logan like he was made of glass. “How did that go?”

Logan took a deep breath.

“I told Mr. Virgil I need to name my baby brothers and he went with me to find some baby name books and I learned that there are ten thousand and one names and that names even mean things and people can name their babies after books and then he went with me back to the playzone and I told him about the cephalopods and we played Checkers and I built a robot with Legos and now you’re here!”

Virgil watched the two men as Logan spoke, intrigued and impressed that they seemed to be catching every single word.

“Well, it sounds like you had a lot of fun, kiddo,” Patton said fondly. He smiled back at Virgil, but his words were directed to Logan as he asked, “Is Mr. Virgil holding your books for you?”

Logan nodded and made grabby hands at Virgil, who belatedly realized he was still standing with Logan’s books clasped against his chest like a shy teenager in a coming of age movie.

“Oh, um,” he stammered, fumbling with the books before showing the two men their titles. “He, um, he wanted to get these two. I know they’re a little dense, but—”

“But our little brainiac asked you to help him find the biggest books possible, right?” Janus asked, his hand coming up to tweak Logan’s earlobe. “We’re used to it.”

Virgil felt a smile growing on his face. “Yeah. And, uh, for what it’s worth, I don’t think they’ll be that hard to read. It’s just lists of names, it’s not, like, in-depth etymology or anything.”

“What’s etymology?” Logan asked.

Patton made a slightly panicked noise, pulling Logan closer to him. “Isn’t that the study of bugs?”

“That’s entomology, dear,” Janus replied kindly. “Etymology is the study of words.”

“Oh,” the first man replied, giving Virgil a relieved grin. “Well, I think Logi’s already got quite a few words under his belt, huh?”

Virgil gave a small laugh; it was obvious Logan always spoke like he was training to become an auctioneer. “All that reading’s gotta go somewhere, I guess. Do you guys come here often?”

Too late, he realized how painfully close his words sounded to a cliche pick up line, but thankfully neither man found it weird.

“We just moved to the area, actually,” Patton replied easily. “I guess that means you’re a librarian, then?”

Virgil nodded, gesturing awkwardly behind them as he replied, “Yep, I’m a reference librarian. I work at the, uh, reference desk.”

Janus slowly raised one eyebrow. “How interesting. Logan, I believe we agreed that you didn’t have to come to our book club meeting as long as you would stay in the playzone, am I correct?”

Both men looked at the small boy, who was beginning to look very sheepish. “Well, technically—”

“Technically I came here first,” Virgil interjected, drawing all three of them to look at him in surprise. “I was making my rounds around the library, Logan asked me where to find the baby name books, and I thought that if it was better for me to take him to them than to risk him walking off by himself.”

Logan looked at him with wide eyes, but kept his mouth shut. Smart kid.

“Oh!” Patton said, pleasantly surprised. “Well, that’s alright then, since you stayed with a librarian the whole time.”

“And I got the babies’ name books!” Logan added, seemingly trying to move the conversation away from his and Virgil’s lie.

“And you got the babies’ name books,” Janus agreed. He held his hands out, and Virgil transferred the weighty books into his arms. “Oh, goody, this one has a thousand pages. How fun.”

“It does sound fun!” Patton added cheerfully, swaying Logan back and forth. “We have nine months for the babies to come, and a thousand pages over nine months is…”

“About 111 pages a month,” Virgil said quickly. “Divided by 30 days, that means you just have to go through about 4 pages a day.”

Patton gaped at him, Janus’ lips quirked into the tantalizing near-smile, and Logan— well, Logan looked at him like he’d just spoken another language. Which, to a five year old, he might as well have.

“Are you… are you a robot?” Logan asked seriously, causing all three men to smile at each other in amusement.

“I don’t think I’m a robot,” Virgil replied, but to his surprise Janus hummed in suspicion.

“I don’t know,” he said slowly, leaning into Logan’s ear to whisper conspiratorially, “Doesn’t that sound like something a robot would say?”

Logan gasped, causing Patton to giggle.

“Hey, Logi! How does a robot sit down?”

The small boy paused, looking at his dad with a wary distrust. “Daddy, this better not be a joke.”

Patton merely grinned. He gave Virgil a quick wink before finishing, “On his ro-bottom!”

Both Logan and Janus groaned, Logan flopping over in Patton’s arms. “Daddy! Your jokes are not funny!”

“Oh, they’re not?” Patton asked, reaching up to quickly scribble his fingers against Logan’s stomach. “Then why are you laughing?”

Logan burst into giggles, wiggling and kicking his feet. “I’m not!”

Janus and Virgil shared an amused look at the scene of total adorableness happening in front of them, before Janus cleared his throat.

“Okay, okay,” he interrupted, placing a hand on his husband’s arm and allowing his son to breathe. “Let’s take this outside of the quiet library, alright, dear?”

Patton smiled back at him, reaching around to cover Janus’ hand with his own. The three of them there looked so— so perfect, Virgil realized. They looked like a perfect family.

“Well,” Virgil said abruptly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’m glad I could help your son today. If you have any more questions, Ms. Dot at the children’s desk can help you find what you’re looking for.”

Patton blinked once before his eyes went wide. “Oh, gosh, you’re still working right now, aren't you? I’m so sorry we took up so much of your time—”

“No!” Virgil insisted. “No, no, no, it was no trouble at all, really.”

“Well, regardless, we thank you very much,” Janus added, shifting so he could also grab Logan’s book basket from the game table. “I expect my family and I will be coming here again in the near future, and I hope we’ll see you again.”

Virgil felt his face go warm. He knew Janus just meant it as a friendly, regular-library-visitors-getting-to-know-the-staff kind of way, but for a moment, he couldn’t help but imagine what if they actually meant they wanted to see him again.

“Yeah,” was all he said, nodding once. “It was nice meeting you all. Bye, Logan.”

He gave a small wave before walking past them, moving back toward his desk with a distracted feeling in his head. Maybe if he skipped some of the boring heterosexual sex scenes, he could still finish his novel of the day before his shift ended—

“Mr. Virgil!”

He froze at the sound of Logan’s tony voice calling his name. As he turned, he saw as Logan managed to wriggle out of Patton’s hold, trotting over to him.

“Logan!” Patton called, making an apologetic face at Virgil as he and Janus followed their son. “I’m sorry, I think he just wanted to say something else—”

“I really wanna say thank you for the babies’ name books,” Logan interrupted, screeching to a halt just in front of Virgil. “And— and thank you for the, um, the checkers, and the Legos, and— and—”

“Hey,” Virgil interrupted softly, kneeling down and smiling at Logan. “You are very welcome, kid. I’m happy I could help.”

“And I wanted to know if please can I come play with you again when my dads and me come back to the li-berry, please?” Logan finished in a rush of breath, looking at Virgil for just a second before his gaze dropped to the floor.

Virgil hesitated. “...Oh.”

“Logan, darling,” Janus interjected gently, “Mr. Virgil might not be able to play with you anytime—”

“Actually,” Virgil cut him off, eyes darting up to the grownups before he gave Logan an awkward smile. “I, uh, I can’t guarantee I’ll always be able to play in the playzone, but if you wanna come say hi and… and tell me about the cephalopods, I’ll love to hear about it.”

Logan’s eyes widened, and he broke into a delighted grin. “Really?”

“Really?” Patton repeated, sounding gratefully surprised. “I mean, if you have to work, we wouldn’t want to do distract you—”

“I… don’t actually do much work when I’m at the reference desk,” Virgil admitted. “I usually just sit back there reading all day.”

“Except for when you make your rounds around the library, like you did earlier today,” Janus corrected, giving Virgil a look that revealed he 100% knew Virgil had lied earlier.

“Yep,” Virgil replied anyway, eyes locked onto Janus’ as he gave a slightly cheeky grin. “Except for that, of course.”

Janus stared him down, but didn’t call his bluff; instead he smirked, slow and satisfied, and his smile was somehow even better than Virgil had pictured it.

“Well,” he finished, “the sooner we check these books out, the sooner we can read them. Logan?”

He held out the book basket, and Logan took it with all of the determination of a child on a mission.

“I have to check out the books because I remember-ized the number,” he informed Virgil seriously.

“Well, it’s a good thing your dads have you, then, isn’t it?” Virgil replied. The big grin Logan gave him was only rivaled by the giant one Patton was giving him over Logan’s shoulder.

“Alright, kiddo,” Patton said, placing a hand on Logan’s back and ushering him toward the check out desk. “‘Read’ the way! Get it? Like ‘lead the way’?”

Logan groaned. “Daddy!”

Virgil laughed to himself, watching as the three of them walked away. Just before they turned the corner to the checkout desk, Logan turned around, waving like Virgil was miles away rather than a few yards. Patton and Janus waved too, and something about the way the two of them were looking at Virgil— friendly, fond, and grateful, all mixed into one— made his stomach doing a rather interesting acrobatic move.

It wasn’t until later, when he was safe behind his desk again, that he realized what that feeling was. That blush-causing, stammer-inducing, stomach-flipping feeling. It was a feeling he was well familiar with— not because he’d felt it before, but because he’d read about it.

In his romance novels.

Virgil froze, staring blankly ahead of him.

Ah. Well. Okay then.

He was fucked.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #virgil sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #moceit #anamoceit #my writing #my posts #by the book #for future reference

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jimmythejiver · 4 years ago

Text

For the first time in a long time I went to the movies in forever and then to Target. At Target I see some Godiva bars on discount yellow tags and I was ecstatic until I read 70% Cacao, Dark, Salted Caramel and was deflated.

Anyway that's how I felt about seeing The Green Knight. What you thought this was about chocolate?

No see since the pandemic I've been back on my perennial King Arthur kick. I've for a long time since I was a young preteen thought, someday I too will write my own King Arthur epic and it'll be gay, magical, gangster and culty too, but for now I'll make up my own stories for practice and then with every story I got attached too, it got too involved and convoluted to the point that when it came down to actually writing a novel, I threw it all away and made a space opera I only planned in two weeks and wrote in a month. Anyway...so now I've been writing this very gay, magical, gangster and culty take on Final Fantasy XV with my boyfriend and just fell in love with Somnus Lucis Caelum who nobody has any insight about him than to make him the Mordred to Ardyn's Arthur, which is a strange flex, but okay, I thought about what if I wrote a Dark Age prequel about Ardyn and Somnus, but Ardyn becomes king and Somnus his shogun and they play games of seduction and power because I'm twisted like that. Anyway...I was like I'm never going to write this and I have to keep making up characters based on FFXV characters and King Arthur tropes because there's not a lot of stories that take place during the Dark Ages, it's always some Roman Empire story, or High Middle Ages and FFXV gave no room for either society to happen after the fall of Solheim and the rise of King Somnus...so we left with Dark Ages, y'all, the King Arthur comparisons are obvious, but Ardyn is no Arthur and Somnus is no Mordred, Aera is only Guenevere if you make up an affair with Somnus, Gilgamesh is no Bedwyr/Bedivere, but uh...they both amputees and the oldest companions to their respective kings so...I guess. Anyway making an ancestor of Cor Leonis and deciding well he's Owain/Yvain, or am Ignis type as idk Sir Cai/Kay I guess, they both cook, but Cai's more like Seifer Almasy than any FF character... Anyway I'm losing people.

My plan was to just scrap the FFXV prequel, leave my Somnus ideas into Overtime (a gangster and gods story) and just plan an actual King Arthur adaptation. I'd have King Arthur the treasure hunter, leader of a warband turned founder of Camelot who fights giants, giant cats and dogheads, but also fights King Claudas of the Franks and King Aelle of the Saxons and Cerdic a Briton who puts in his lot with the Saxons, etc. It'd been a a glorified turf war, meanwhile Arthur's gotta make alliances with King Pelles, The Fisher King and his strange cult he's founded because, why yes I find the ends justifies the means prophecy of the Holy Grail Quest very culty because Christianity then does not resemble it now. Meanwhile you got the secondary plots of Mordred, Gawain, Lancelot, Percival, Tristam and other's going on because they matter and too many modern King Arthur stories sideline the knights.

So many have always sidelined Mordred as a final boss eldritch abomination in mortal flesh conceived of sin and give him no personality, or complex motives, or even just a relationship with Arthur. I also have noticed the general sidelining of Lancelot, or give him a chad villain upgrade if you must include him at all, and the villainizing of Gawain to the point that you don't even have to have Mordred, or Agravain as a catalyst shit stirrer in court, just slap Gawain's name on Liam Neeson in a top knot and you're good. Mordred can just be a child offscreen until last act...fuck that, while Morgan Le Fay can either be a villainess plotting her cabal through men, or a well-intentioned, ineffectual idiot. Fuck that.

Now Hollywood just be doing King Arthur first acts that suck ass, only for said director to get rewarded failing upwards by giving this same jerk the Aladdin remake. The tonally shitty, crammed in blockbuster mess of a cliche heroe's journey that sucks.

With that background I was excited for The Green Knight. I read an illustrative version as a kid, I read Tolkien's translation as a teenager, I read Simon Armitage's superior, but with liberties taken translation. I was prepped to go knowing that indie, or not they were going to make changes to weave the disjointed poem together. I'm excited that because this movie exists Project Guternberg's finally thrown Jessie Weston's prose rendition up on their website. I'll be reading that at some point when this blows over.

The movie adaptation makes a lot of...choices, many I wouldn't love, but would forgive had their been a payoff. There was none.

The journey was fine, the cinematography was a breath of fresh air after crappy slo mo, glossy action scenes ruined another. Guys, I don't think I want to see a Zack Snyder Excalibur, it'll marginally be better than Guy Ritchie, but that ain't saying anything. Leave Excalibur to the post-Star Wars 80s where it is impeccable for it's time. I liked Green Knight's breathable pacing, it's color palette's in the forests and mountains made up for the muddy grey of every Ridley Scott send up in the castles and villages in every other Dark Ages/Medieval story in the last I don’t know since the shitty 00′s. For all the dark tones when there was blues, greens, yellows or reds, they were vibrant in this movie to contrast the gloom of Britain. The soundtrack was good. This isn't all what makes a movie, but it enhances it so let's get to the story and what I did and didn't like.

Things I Liked: Gawain is still a novice in his career The Costume Dressing Everyone pronounces Gawain's name different. I pronounce it like Gwayne, or Guh Wayne, but here you got Gowen (like Owen), Gowan (like Rowan), or even Garlon who I'm pretty sure is the Fisher King's heir in some versions of that Arthurian story, so uh... The reference to Arthur slaying 960 men with his bare hands (Nennius for the win!) The Waste Land that is implied to be a site of a battle (an important aspect of the Arthurian landscape) The Fox companion No long grisly, drawn out hunting scenes. The Fox lives! No misogynist speeches

Things I'm Mixed: This being a dream, is the magic real? Are the giants? Is the Green Knight a figment of Gawain's imagination from a spell Morgan casted in him to hallucinate? Is Lord and Lady also figments? It's...a way to interpret the poem, but lazy and I don't see why it's got to all fantasy, or all dream...this movie makes it too vague you're stuck picking one camp than to accept it's a fantasy with dream and hallucinatory sequences.

Things I'm Meh: Morgan Le Fay as Gawain's mom. Look I fucking hate Morgause as a character and these two get merged and steal each other's aspects so much at this point the difference is who did they marry, King Urien or King Lot? Both are attributed to being Mordred's mom, Mordred is Gawain's brother...both practice magic depending on certain incarnations, both love and hate Arthur their brother and are in conflict with him. Saint Winifred. I actually liked this sequence, but I don't appreciate her as the tacked on wife in the later dream sequence as like...a contrast between the wife you should marry than the whore next door you don't respect anyway? I don't even know what lesson I'm supposed to get out of the damn dream sequence, or any of it? That Gawain should've married his girlfriend and then he'd be a just ruler? That he shouldn't be king? That he'd never have to make the same heartless, impartial choices? I don't know, he seemed like a king doing king shit because guess what? It never gets easier. Wars will be waged. The world didn't become better because he married the right woman, respected her and lived in obscurity. The world didn't become better because he made her his queen. We certainly don't know the world would be better Gawain had his head chopped off and dead XP They never reveal the Lord and the Green Knight as one and the same because of this shit.

Things I Hated: Arthur withdraws from the challenge because he's old. In poem he takes it on and Gawain takes it so he don't have to and he finds himself more disposable than the king. Gawain only takes the challenge because of arrogance. Arthur and Gawain had no prior personal relationship. I'd not have hated this so much if it wasn't compounded by it cancelling out the first two things. Gawain is portrayed as having no respect for his woman, or any woman, maybe his mother? He has to be pushed by Winifred to regain her head. Gawain is portrayed as arrogant, covetous and ready to pass the buck, or the bare minimum than have any honor or decency. It didn't matter the kid in the wasteland was shithead bandit, the way Gawain acted towards him, when he gets robbed, it almost feels like he deserved it and Gawain doesn't learn a damn lesson. I'll admit him taking the sword to cut his ropes and cutting his hands was a neat sequence, it shows him go from stupid, to almost clever and having will to survive...you know traits he had in the poem, but he stops showing these traits or growing. Basically Gawain has to be dragged kicking and screaming to help people and shows no fortitude when facing temptation, or when showing respect towards others, it's exhausting. You don't make this kind of journey story without character growth. Why are you skipping this? Also is it just me, or is this like when you take Frank Miller Batman and transport him onto a Bill Finger story? This is at best Thomas Malory Gawain (and this is charitable) transported on the earlier Pearl Poet's story. Stop it. It's not tonally correct and goes at odds with the story and the set up characterization you'd need to tell it. Speaking of which, you know how I get through the oof... of Liam Neeson Gawain in Excalibur? By pretending he Agravain instead. Here...I don't even think Gawain could pass as Mordred in spite of his covetous nature, lust and entitlement. Why? because I don't think even Mordred is this dumb to warrant this hubris. Essel being invented as a tacked on love interest just to be shit on utterly and for what? I don't think I have much commentary here as there is no Essel I'm aware of to compare, or stack up. I just notice this trope of like...usually if you include a sex worker in Hollywood she often has a heart of gold, she often has her own sense of values that goes at odds with society, but is more true and less hypocritical than a privileged lady’s. I thought that's what they would've done with the added trope of back at home sweetheart to contrast and pit her against the despicable femme fatale of Lady Bertilak and her adultery and her ladyship...and I'm glad they didn't...but you did nothing with Essel than to shit on her for existing when you made her exist, you know. Lady Bertilak being portrayed as the seductress devil incarnate. Look I know adultery is a touchy taboo, but uh her and Gawain hit it off in the poem, dammit! Her values and his values come to clash, but here it's played off as Gawain is stupid and covetous and Lady Bertilak wants to prove something because...? If my brother's theory that she's a figment of Morgan Le Fay's magic, then I'll take this as a lesson of Gawain is impulsive and covetous and his mom knows it, but he don't want to fuck his mom, but he wants her power, and Morgan wants to teach him a lesson... I guess. Hey we don't have misogynist speeches in this movie, but we'll make sure to have the movie drip with it with no point, or commentary. Pass. Lord guilting, extracting and initiating the same sex kiss and only once. Poem automatically better that Gawain don't have to keep being reminded to keep his part of the bargain and he does it willingly more than once. What he doesn't do is give up his belt...gods how did we get more homophobic as a society that the homoeroticism here is worse? Catholics of the middle ages officially had no issue doing same sex, passionate kissing until it lead to sex. The Ending: The gods damn ending. In the movie as is, Gawain waits to uphold his end of the bargain and get his head chopped off. He imagines, even though we don't get any fuzzy or distortion to indicate this is a dream, but I already knew this was coming, he runs away and comes home, is regarded a hero, he sees his lady, takes her from behind and if you saw Brokeback Mountain (I didn't, but DJ has) you know this is a sign of disrespect to women. He gets her knocked up, pays her off for the kid she wants to keep, he is crowned king, marries the ghostly saint lady he helped retrieve her head earlier from a lake in the movie (this right here is the damn tip off). There's no more dialogue by this point and everything is montaging, so you know by now it's a dream, though nothing is out of focus. He rules as a heartless king, his whore son dies from war he waged, he has a daughter, his wife dies. Gawain then takes off the belt that would've saved his life and his head falls off. This would've been the one good twist, except... In this sequence of events he never had his head cut off so uh... now we back in present day. He decides not to bitch out, Green Knight in a sexy way is like "now off with your head," movie cuts to credits with no resolve...uh what the fuck? What the fuck? This is not good. You wasted the one twist in your dream when idk, you could've...

How I'd fix it: No dream sequence at all. No Incident At Owl Creek twist. Gawain comes home a hero and survivor of this game and ordeal. He wears this belt of shame. He becomes a well-renowned knight, but he bears a shame. One day he goes to take off his belt and his head falls off because he cheated to get this belt and to survive this encounter. There. Done. Improved your high concept movie that couldn't play any of the lessons straight from the damn poem without making everyone an asshole for no reason! Ugh! But nope you had to end it on we don’t know if Gawain lives or dies...because...it's dream magic made from his momma's witchcraft...?

Last Thoughts So then post-credits scene because Marvel because Pirates Of The Caribbean existed. A white girl who looks nothing like Gawain's daughter we see who didn’t pay off, or any child I can remember through this whole movie picks up King Arthur's crown that dream Gawain inherited and puts it on her head. Who is this girl? Are we gonna have an indie equivalent of of the Marvel Movie Universe/Universal Horror Monsters thing with ancient British legends? We gonna get a Life Of Saint Patrick next that crosses over? I don't know. What is this?

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beerecordings · 5 years ago

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okay oh my gosh i know i rant like once in blue moon but i get so ticked off holy hell every time i see someone complain that Jack doesn’t give them enough ego content first of all he owes you nothingggggg dude NOTHING BRO he could literally cut the story off tomorrow if he wanted to and he wouldn’t have cheated you out of anything. you wanna complain about hints? first of all not everything is a freaking hint and he’s allowed to use his characters however he wants if it’s fun for him to have shifting eye colors and spooky bits in a video that’s fine whether or not it’s a reference to Anti doesn’t matter if he’s having a good time they’re his characters bro!! let’s repeat it again: he owes you nothing!! he’s a gaming youtuber what the hellllll dude creating Anti at all and making Say Goodbye was sincerely revolutionary, that video is the reason people started realizing this shit was possible and seeing how cool it was. every youtuber alive was in awe of Jack the day Say Goodbye dropped that shit changed the game don’t @ me

let’s not forget that ego stuff is not only so time-consuming and high-pressure but it also costs like a ton of money?? like Who Killed Markiplier?? Mark has said multiple times he made next to nothing compared to what he put into that video it was just a passion project for him. you can’t demand Jack spends thousands of dollars on a project if he’s not even interested??

okay but!! the other thing is that he is interested and really loves them and wants to create stuff but i think you guys are forgetting that he has told us that the reason there wasn’t ego content for so long because he was legit having breakdowns over it?? like when was it - 2018, i think? when he said he had stuff planned, but then his mental health got so bad that he realized it was doing him way more harm than good. and he’s made posts on here about how the pressure has been so high he felt completely paralyzed by everyone constantly demanding that content from him that he couldn’t go through with legit plans he had and couldn’t make anything and started to get really stressed just thinking about making content. and it was after making that post and saying that he just wanted to have fun with it again that he made Chase and JJJJ! and they were so good dude!!! and clearly point!! to much bigger plans!!! even though they made him really scared and he said he was never more nervous posting a video than Chase. and you have the nerve to come up in here like “not enough storyline :/” after he finally managed to get free of that pressure and create something cool he was really really proud of and enjoyed.

you would not get pissed off at someone on tumblr if they suddenly stopped writing a fanfiction or comic or something like that and yell at them and harass them. maybe the pressure was overwhelming and legitimately worsening their mental illness. maybe they just lost interest. maybe it was expensive or too time-consuming or otherwise burdensome. you can just unfollow and go. or for fuck’s sake at least keep your whining out of the tags. like take a chill pill man. take a chill pill. take your lil bitch pills he doesn’t owe you anything man. he’s just a guy and sometimes he gets down on himself or scared or sick or busy or tired and millions of people demanding a story is so.... okay it’s just mean!!!!!! and doesn’t help him create at all!! leave him be!!! look i am just tired...

i don’t want to talk about this but there okay i’m done NO TALK TO ME AM ANGY -

#discourse tw #vent tw #rant tw #i'm fine really i'm chill just like....... the silliness of some things.....#if somebody came in here like DEMANDING i write my brother's keeper that would not be okay

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 6 years ago

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Favored ones, Part 1. (Joel Miller x Fem!reader)

Description: When you spend every evening with someone who's deeply under your skin, a certain relationship can be developed. So it's crushing for Joel when Y/N suddenly disappears. But there's way more to the relationship that one would've guessed.

A/N: I love me a knife dad, sis.

A/N 2: This is just a chapter that will introduce you to the series and by the time, we will lay into deeper layers; as always, lmao. Also a subtle Far Cry 5 reference. Very subtle, you might not even catch it.

Warnings: Surviving the cordyceps apocalypse, enduring and surviving, an attack of some sort, will explain later.

Word count: 2.6 K

Tagging: @missdictatorme @xxgoldenhour @nemodoren

Also - if you would like to get tagged, don't be shy babe, just tell me.

If you like this story, please, more parts can be found here! :): H E R E

Around December 2038:

What was the worst part of the outbreak?

One would've thought it would be those who were infected by cordyceps. Some would answer that the worst thing which happened was the moment when the government broke completely down and when the society had crumbled to shit. Other people would tell you that the scariest thing for them to overcome was the cruelty of other people, them forming gangs, stealing from others, killing others to survive. Cannibalism, chaos.

But for one man it was the memories that took a hold on him. He was still scared of the nightmares that were crawling through his brain and subconsciousness. It was a dream that was playing in a fucking loop.

He saw his very own child, his little baby girl and angel shining through his darkness, his daughter Sarah being shot over and over and over again. It happened a thousand times till that very day and even if Joel found a way to endure and survive, he was still visiting the past in his mind.

It was over twenty-five years ago and yet he remembered every last detail of that night. Joel never felt such a painful loss in his entire life.

He found new people who he learned to love as the time passed, even if it wasn't exactly easiest to move on, he found new purposes and things he could do, but there was only one Sarah. No-one could replace her.

But to be fair, even if the twenty-five years of surviving took a hold on him, his physique and mental health, his experience was priceless. Nothing could be better than being taught by a professional.

So when he and Ellie settled down in Jackson County five years ago, he earned the people's trust when he decided to help them out with practical training. He was a master smuggler and survivor after all.

Sometimes, he got a bunch of kiddos in a class to teach them how to shoot with bow and gun in self-defense, other times they had a biology class and Joel taught them how to properly hunt an animal and how to cut its throat.

When Joel was in a really good mood, he was playing some old tunes on his guitar to them. But that happened truly rarely. Rather never than often.

As time passed, Joel could say who's in his group only to annoy him because he was such an old asshole and who is there to actually listen to what he was saying.

There were two small boys, twins, around the age of thirteen who loved fauna and flora. There was a sixteen-year-old girl who was willing to take guitar lessons. And then there was a girl, rather a woman, just a few years older than Ellie, who loved to learn how to shoot with a bow.

There was no other person so similar to Ellie, a girl who he practically adopted. That girl, her name was Y/N and she was born in Jackson County, was fiery and witty, quick with her responses and pretty tough cookie on the outside.

Even if Joel would not address the situation properly, the others began to notice - trips to the woods with Joel to hunt, practically everyday personal training from Joel to shoot with a bow. People began to spread the news quickly, it spread like a wildfire. The other day, there were jokes when you slowly approached your study session with the other ones from your town.

"Well if it ain't the miss I will get into your pants, huh?" - Jesse, your longtime friend joked while he prepared a saddle on his horse's back.

"Smelling nice, looking fucking fresh and I'm ready to take a hike." - You looked at your horse, a white one with one big black dot on near its left eye and you gave him a carrot so it could chew something. You called it Sadie and you knew that animal since you were a small kid. - "There was some hot water left yesterday around two a.m.. The best shower of the year."

"Hike on a horse?" - Dina, another of your friends, added and rose her eyebrows as she watched you. - "You still don't have a clue hikes work, do you?"

"Well, nobody said I'm the smartest, but in conclusion, fuck all of you." - You said with your head held high. Typical you - not having some valid arguments, so you cursed them out. - "Thanks for having a conversation with me, I very much appreciate it."

"Oh, snowy morning, three jackasses and some cursing in the air. I feel like I'm home." - The last member of your group joined. Ellie had her denim jacket with wool inside, her hair was in a bun and she looked like she hasn't slept an hour that night.

You whistled and sooner than you could stop yourself, your brain began to make connections and conclusions. Dina wasn't looking exactly fresh as well, so they have been together. Jesse was looking like a panther just ready to strike and kill his prey, so he and Dina had broken up once again.

Holy shit. If your calculations were right, it meant that...

"Don't tell me that you two are fucking." - You shouted with laughter, pointing at both of them. Ellie's eyes widened, Dina panicked and it all happened in the one exact same moment. - "Holy motherfucking shit, guys. I know that you're into licking holes, girls, but this was way sooner than we expected. You talked about it like... Yesterday. Nice. Good job!"

"Y/N, language." - You heard the voice of your mentor who you began to recognize amongst everyone else talking to you silently. It was Joel, looking like a bag of hot trash and smelling like local whiskey. - "We have children here. Alright?"

"I'm sorry. It just took me by a surprise. Not gonna happen again, I swear." - You looked down on your lumberjack shoes and smiled innocently.

It was hard to get under your skin - but Joel was deeply under it. He had grown to your brain over the last few months. It was one of the few adults you listened to willingly.

"Holy moly." - Jesse took advantage of that situation when Joel was out of the range to hear your bickering. - "Look how tamed she is for that old man. Never seen her like that. Wanna get a pat on the back of your head from Ellie's old man for being such a good girl?"

"Keep telling that to yourself, country boy." - You bickered back and hopped into the saddle, smoothing your horse's neckline. - "You never gonna get a single touch on all of this. This is VIP stuff." - You pointed at yourself and made your horse gallop to the gate.

The twins were sitting on one horse, ironically called the Rabbit, there was also a few other kids from the neighborhood. But today was different - while Joel took the other kids to teach them how to survive in the freezing cold temperatures while the trio will be guarding them against any wildlife or infected attack, you will hunt on your own.

The first time Joel had actually let that happen - you were out to near cities to find some things that may come handy in groups on daily, scheduled bases, but to hunt on your own in the toughest winter? Never happened to you before.

"So, just as we agreed?" - You looked down on Joel who's back were turn to you and smiled. You had a winter coat on, so your face with reddened cheeks and nose was barely visible. But even though, Joel came to your horse and caressed its side while looking you in the eyes.

"Yeah, just as we agreed. Stay in the area of the mapped roads and be back on time. No unexpected things today, I beg you." - Joel spoke silently, which made you smile wider.

"How many times we've been into the woods, big guy? I know those places like the back of my hand. I will be okay and I will behave well, I promise." - You winked at him and when nobody was paying attention, the tips of your fingers subtly brushed against his hand. It was just a second, small moment, almost invisible to most of the people around you.

You secretly lived for that - the big secret you held, the anticipation about what will happen when you'll be at home that night tickling every nerve in your body, the danger of anybody finding out.

But you just looked in front of your horse as Joel stepped further away.

"I would say you behave. Safety first. You see something you can't shoot with a bow or kill with a knife, you run. Won't you be cold out there?" - Joel caught your stare one last time and you laughed a little. You were cold as shit even now, but because of your pride and anticipation, you would not say it out loud.

"Wouldn't you wanna know, old man?" - Then you rose up the sleeve to show him your watch. - "Got my timer set and bow steady, time to go. See you somewhere around Whitetail, Joel."

And with that, you rode out of the city's gates, slowly and steady through the pretty deep snow. And so, it was happening - your first-time real hunting session. Without Ellie, Jesse, Dina, the elders or Joel. Only you and the forest.

---

You could feel that you're one with nature around you. The snow was cracking under your weight as you slowly walked from tree to tree. Your body felt tensed up and the tips of the fingers tapped and brushed the bow and arrow in your hands.

At those moments, the world felt quiet and peaceful. Only the innocent white color was surrounding you, sometimes disrupted with brown or green, those were the trees. A few brackens were moving silently as the snow was falling on it.

You stepped forward again and looked around you, slowly exhaling out. You didn't want the mist out of your lips to cover your surroundings so you learned how to breathe slowly. That was of the things that Joel was teaching you since spring.

There were no misty breaths in March or April, but it definitely occurred in November and December. You needed to be careful with breathing. And shaky, cold fingers - that was when you needed gloves with cut off fingertips, so you could use at least the big portion of your fingers.

Just like that, you caught a glimpse of a rabbit running two to three feet away from you, not minding you at all. You dropped lower on your knees and you felt as the snow slowly froze them down. Your eyes carefully watched the movements of the rabbit.

If you get really lucky, you might even find it's lair. Ah shit, three to six rabbits on your first hunt? That would be a fucking jackpot. And you would prove yourself in Joel's eyes. So you decided to follow that small, furry animal with small steps and subtle movements.

You didn't even make rushed motions with your feet to keep the quietest you were capable of. But the rabbit only seemed to be running around and gathering some old, yellow grass. But then it got into a fast pace, but you knew that nothing is lost.

Just follow its footprints. That was actually the easiest technique when you hunt, Joel repeated countless times.

The following of the rabbit's trail took you almost half an hour before you stood in front of its lair.

Holy motherfucking shit. You actually made it. A lair of rabbits just in front of you. You heard them inside of it, moving and crawling, sniffing and making slow subtle movements. Just as you were taught to do it - stick your hands inside the lair and caught one of these little fuck's ears and drag them out and slice them.

But stand in front of the hole they could escape with. They would be too afraid to come out of it. Just like that, you had four dead rabbits in your hand. You walked with them to Sadie, smiling wickedly. Four fucking rabbits. Who would have thought?

But when you were too occupied with pinning the rabbits into the horse's back, you caught a glimpse of something interesting behind it. You saw a human being, probably a man, walking behind the tree.

"Hey, are you from Jackson County?" - You asked in a sharp voice. If it would've been someone you knew, they wouldn't be creeping up behind your back like that. So you controlled the knife you had behind your belt and furrowed your look in the direction where you saw them for the last time.

There were a lot of trees there, so you could probably catch some glimpses, but nothing was for sure. So you prepared your bow in the case of need. It wasn't Runners or Clickers, they even bother to sneak around. They would've attack immediately. The forest was unusually unsettling and quiet.

"Why don't you just come here and talk to me?" - You asked unsurely again. You played with the bow and looked around. - "Can you stop fucking with me and just come out?"

When you were almost about to snap, you froze when your ears caught another sound coming from behind your back. This was a fucking trap. And you caught the bait perfectly. You were so dumb.

Immediately, you jumped on Sadie's back and made her turn around so you could go back on the road as soon as possible.

But such terrible things can happen in a few seconds. Before you could even breath out, you felt as Sadie's legs lost the balance and as the horse crumbled down. Your legs fell from the saddle and the animal's body fell on yours for a second, but you couldn't breathe nonetheless. Both of you were falling from a hill - and it was a pretty bad fall.

When you laid in the ice-cold snow and tried to catch a breath, you realized your leg hurts too much. It was an immersive pain that made you scream out loud. It was broken.

And the guys who've been hunting you down were just slicing Sadie's throat.

---

"It's late. She should've been here an hour ago." - Jesse said to Deena. They've separated - Joel took he kids back inside and Ellie went to search for you in the area you talked about with Joel. Jesse and Deena stayed at Whitetail to wait if you don't come there.

"Come on. You know her. Maybe she found some good hunting spot?" - Dina said with a smile. Yeah. That was all you. Just to forget about time. There was probably nothing wrong with you. - "I bet she's just fine."

Just as she said that Jesse saw a glimpse of Ellie in the background. She was running as fast as she could and she was clearly scared for her dear life.

"I-I found Sadie, her horse." - Ellie stuttered, looking at both of them.

"Why didn't you bring him back? We could look into her logbook." - Jesse answered and Dina shook her head. - "She only wrote notes to her logbook when she was back in the town. She did write only when she was scheduled to go out. It wouldn't help at all."

"Dead. That horse is dead with an arrow in its knee and sliced throat. I do have any idea where she is." - And with that, they knew that they have to search for you immediately.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel #knife dad #the last of us imagine #the last of us series #joel miller x y/n #ellie williams #ellie tlou #tlou #naughty dog #dina #jesse #joel tlou

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dopescotlandwarrior · 5 years ago

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The Dancer-Chapter Three

A special thanks to @statell for all the help

Previous chapters on AO3

Chapter Three

The day after Hogmanay, the world looked completely new and different to Jamie. It always did because of his mother telling him about the new year, fresh beginnings and a casting off of mistakes and baggage from the year before. Gather yer blessins to take into the new year and forget the rest, she would say.

Jamie spent time hiking the hills where ever the snow would allow. He needed to be alone in the uncomplicated outdoors so his twisted mind could unravel, set goals for the new year, and dream about a lovely future. His mother’s voice was heard again telling him to have a picture in his mind of where he wanted to be in a year. “Make a braw picture in your in mind so yer feet will know which way to go, Jamie boy.”

By this time next year… Hmm Reunite with his childhood friends and celebrate Hogmanay together. He would see the finished barn he promised Jenny he would build for her, three years ago. Hiking and climbing once a week to build his strength and overall health. He would pay it forward in Edinburgh, he and Claire, with reading programs, book clubs and free classes for computers and creative writing.

He would have to open another store this year but this time he would find a way to pull any local bookseller into his project rather than leave them to mourn.

He would keep his workweek to forty hours, well fifty at most, when the new project was underway.

Jamie was smiling as he saw Lallybroch in the distance. He felt better and he had a plan. Throughout his hike and planning the coming year, the veiled girl beckoned him. Get outa my head temptress, ye mean nothin to me, he thought.

Claire had danced at many celebrations during the holidays and it was time to treat herself with some new clothes. She would not feel buyer’s remorse because the bank account would hardly notice the loss of Benjamins. Still, she called in reinforcement to prevent her from bolting at the first price tag.

“Geillis, I am walking into Epitome right now and if you don’t hurry, I promise to buy every beige garment I see.”

“Impossible Claire because I’m already here with a full dressin room waiitin for ye. Look up for Christ’s sake before ye crash into the makeup counter.”

When Claire looked up, there was Geillis pointing to a dressing room. Claire was surprised by all the color in the garments and she balked saying she wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing any of it.

Geillis held a beautiful royal blue sweater out for her. “Ye wear leggings underneath and boots that fit yer calf or ankle boots with a heel for date night. Jesus Claire, dinna roll eyes at me, ye need to consider going out with a man when one of them asks ye.”

“They only ask when I dance, and the shock of seeing the real me will have them running for the hills I’m afraid.”

“So we lessen the chasm between ye and the other ye and it starts with color and beautiful clothes. Dinna forget I’m with ye enough to know ye made a small fortune over the holiday. I think Omar is jealous, God knows I am. What about this one?”

For the rest of the afternoon, the girls ran from one shop to another as Claire’s back seat filled with her brave purchases. Sweaters, leggings, scarfs, boots, tops, jeans, a tailored coat and soft comfortable dresses for curling up on a couch or chair for a book club meeting. Claire was feeling braver and laughing more, until Geillis put the fear of God into her heart by stopping at a salon. It was the best in Edinburgh, so she marched inside to make Claire an appointment.

The man behind the counter was model gorgeous with jet black hair and crystal blue eyes. His wide mouth was adorned with a trimmed mustache that made his white teeth sparkle. Geillis started at the top of his perfect head and devoured bite-size pieces hoping he was tall and hung like a horse.

Claire raced in after Geillis to stop her and witnessed her friend morph into a purring, circling, huntress. His name was Joseph and he had a cancellation and could take Claire right now. Claire rapidly shook her head no, but Geillis forgot how to hear as she pulled her reluctant friend to follow Joseph. He led the ladies into his own private room and barely heard a word from Claire before he started cutting. Claire looked from Geillis to the stylist and figured neither one would be communicating with her now, so she closed her mouth and her eyes. She could hear some lady in the main salon complaining bitterly that she had been on Joseph’s waiting list for a year and this was just not fair!

Claire hated her hair since she was old enough to have an opinion. It was frizzy-curly that she tamed with loads of hairpins and detangler. It was like a curse on her feminity because she never could style it, wear it down or in a ponytail. On her rare trips to the bedroom for sex she would emerge looking quite like Einstein with a red face. He could shave it off for all she cared. It was why she loved wearing wigs so much.

Joseph was wrapping Claire’s hair in large plastic rods, allowing Geillis to flirt and toss her hair like some crazy person. Claire peaked up at the two of them and noticed Joseph was caught in her web, like a hooked fish that Claire hoped knew how to cut hair. The eyes closed and her mind practiced her new routines until she felt Joseph take her hand.

The amount of hair on the floor was staggering and Claire’s hand instantly reached for her head but only touched the plastic rods. She was seated and then laid back with her neck locked into a U shaped cut out in the ceramic sink. It was like a torture device sculpted for maximum pain that was quickly getting worse. She looked up and saw both faces above her, but they were talking to each other and didn’t seem to notice her. It can’t get any worse she thought until freezing water gushed out of a hand-held sprayer that soaked her face dripping into her sweater.

The big rods were removed, one more soaking and a towel dropped on her face as Geillis pulled Joseph into a corner to play with his hair. Claire held the towel to her dripping hair and sat down in the stylist’s chair that was unfortunately turned away from the mirror. Claire twisted her head trying to see what had become of her hair until she was jolted back by Joseph man-handling the towel and squeezing the water out of her hair. Claire glared at Geillis.

Next, a loud blow dryer was following chunks of her hair wound around a brush as Joseph’s expert hands pulled and twisted sections of hair while staring at Geillis. It wasn’t intolerable. The warm air was chasing away the cold from her wet sweater. A rather large razor edge was pulled down taught sections of hair around her face and her large eyes watched it twist and turn an inch from her skin. The blow dryer once again and then the cape was pulled off her with flourish. Claire felt the chair drop slowly as Joseph turned her toward the mirror.

Claire stared at her reflection with wide eyes that looked bigger and her lips looked more prominent. She pulled herself out of the chair and leaned toward the mirror where she looked at her features an inch from the glass. Her eyes gorged on her amazing hair for five minutes. Where did all this bouncy, straight hair come from, she wondered. Her bangs were cut very long and angled to sweep across her face covering one eye. Holy fucking Christmas, she thought, this was a mad miracle and she was desperate to find out how to style it like this.

“Joseph! I lov…” They were kissing and Joseph held her coat out to her. Guess that’s my cue to leave, she thought. Good thing Geillis had her own car. Claire tossed a folded hundred-dollar bill on the front desk and told the person it was for Joseph. Paid in full or just the first installment, Claire didn’t give a rip. For now, anyway, the cursed hair looked as good as the bouncing bobs that shined on the magazine covers. She raced home to stare at herself and try everything on, twice.

Toppled boxes and bags were strewn across Claire’s studio floor. She had pulled her makeup organizer out and was sitting on the floor in full light an inch from the mirror. Every ten minutes or so she ran to the bathroom to wash her face and start over. The laptop glowed next to her and she typed Eva Mendes into Google and looked closely at her favorite eyes in Hollywood. She was determined to learn, and scrubbed her face three more times, blinking back stinging tears to answer her ringing cell phone.

“Claire, my dahling, a pipe ruptured in the kitchen and the restaurant is closed until next week. Three days they tell me so go visit relatives and rest, aibnatu.” Claire smiled at the Arabic daughter reference and jumped back in front of the mirror. She carefully plucked at her eyebrows using Eva Mendes as a reference again. She went painstakingly slow to avoid a catastrophic patch pulled out by accident. An hour later she moved her eyeballs from one brow to the other, happy with the arc.

Claire was nervous about wearing her new clothes and hair in public. She still felt like she was playing dress-up and did not want to embarrass herself. Geillis was still not answering her cell and Claire was getting bored. She pulled her new coat on and looked at all sides in the mirror. What’s the worse that can happen? Somebody points at my ridiculous clothes behind my back? No biggie. She reached for her purse and left.

Jamie would be long gone at this hour, so she decided to check out the bookstore in his absence and take a look at the side rooms used for kid stories and adult book club meetings. It was a perfect place to find her confidence. Brightly lit, she would know if people were laughing at her. She parked and exhaled a billowing cloud of steam in the twenty-degree interior of her car.

There were two large carousel doors in the front of the store and stepping into one she looked up at a man on the other side of the glass pushing his way outside and staring at her. Claire looked at the floor convinced the man had dropped something. Looking up she realized she missed her opportunity to exit into the store and had to go around again. I am sure no one saw that she decided.

The store was gigantic, and Claire felt her heart race as she read the section names placed high on the shelves to lead people to what they sought. Claire knew where Jamie’s office was from the one time she was here and made sure it was dark before venturing in. She was free to explore the store unnoticed and felt a rush of excitement to see as much as possible.

Jamie pretended to eat as he pushed the peas and carrots around his plate making small talk with Jenny and his best friend Ian. He was lost in his daydreams of spinning veils and exotic eyes, hoping Jenny would not ask him about it. Strangely, Jenny and Ian were getting on like two peas in a pod and hardly noticed him. Once supper was cleaned up, he slipped away and headed for the restaurant and the dancer who would not leave his head.

The closer he got the faster he drove until he looked up at a dark building and empty parking lot. He circled around and read the note about the closure due to plumbing. Christ, he would surely implode waiting until next week to see her. He rolled out of the parking lot heading for the bookstore. Dropping in on the night manager and his staff could pay dividends in future months. Maybe the night wasn’t a total bomb after all.

Once inside the store Jamie kept close to the shelves where he could observe the staff, happy and helpful, going from music to video games and back to books, assisting customers. It made him content to see such productive employees looking for people to help. He continued to stroll through the store, watching for problems, or lazy staff running out the clock. He watched his newest hire helping a petite brunette in the classics section. She moved away and Jamie continued his lazy spying as he walked through the store. He smiled thinking he should get back to Ian before Jenny chewed his ears off with her continuous conversation. He walked along the row of rooms and offices noticing the brunette sitting inside a room with comfortable couches and chairs. The walls were glass so he could watch her as he walked. He felt something vaguely familiar about her but realized her glorious ass and legs would have been cataloged in his head, like every other pretty girl in Edinburgh.

Jamie leaned against the door to open it enough to speak to her.

“Excuse me, lass. This room is dedicated to the book clubs. There are couches scattered throughout the store if ye like to read a bit.”

“Book clubs, that sounds interesting. Who leads the club if I might ask?”

“Claire Beauchamp is in charge of our community programs.”

“Is she any good?”

“Oh yea, quite good.”

Jamie was trying to back out of a conversation he never wanted in the first place. When long legs were uncurled from under the woman, he was momentarily halted so he could watch skin tight jeans and boots. He could be running down the street with his hair on fire, but he would stop to watch gorgeous legs swing out of a car. Being temporarily diverted by the anatomy of the opposite sex was part of being a man he always thought.

“I am very close to Claire Beauchamp actually.”

The woman passed through the door under Jamie’s arm and then turned to look at him in the light of the store. Jamie stared at her momentarily confused.

“It’s me, Mister Fraser, Claire Beauchamp,” she said smiling. “I didn’t have to work tonight and got bored, so I came by to see the rest of the store. I hope you don’t mind.”

“What have ye done to yerself?”

“Oh, I…I…” Claire’s hand reached up and touched her shoulder-length hair and looked nervously for an escape.”

Oh my God lass, he thought, I meant that in a good way. Ye have eyes, he thought, surely ye can see what’s right in front of your face.

He slowed himself down and looked at her like he was appraising a beautiful work of art for sale.

“Ye know Sassenach, I’ve seen my share of makeovers, but none like this. He circled around her showing his appreciation. Claire’s cheeks blushed at his scrutiny, her confidence soared and she giggled at his exaggerated gawking.”

“It was nice to see you, Mister Fraser, I have to get home, goodnight.”

“Ah, two things Sassenach, how do I contact ye? For the community programs, I mean.”

Claire pulled the phone from his hand and punched in her number hearing the muffled ring in her purse. She looked up at him, “and the other thing?”

Jamie was still staring at her trying to see all the changes. “Wednesday.”

“Wednesday?”

“Aye, C’mon, I’ll walk ye to yer car.”

They walked together to the other side of the store. Jamie waved at a few people but otherwise looked at Claire. There was something unsettling about the changes in her. It was making him feel weird, happy, confused and sad all at the same time. Aside from her momentary anxiety when he said something stupid, she was like a new woman and reminded him of someone, but who?

Jamie failed to rally his senses before she dropped into her car. He turned to walk back to the store and looked when she called his name.

“What is happening on Wednesday?”

“Ye, here, and a bunch of wee ones, aye?”

“I will see you then Mister Fraser.”

A fortuitous meeting he thought, looking at her number on his phone. I’ll get the reading programs up and running before I leave for Glasgow.

Jamie did not spend much time at a new store. Once it was opened and running smoothly, he was off to build another one.

A new store was a complex project that easily lost money from delays, inept contractors, expensive labor, and a million other factors. Jamie had commercial construction experience and hired on, nine years ago, as an assistant project manager. The job took him to cities all over Europe and America. He was home for holidays and vacations, otherwise, he was gone.

Halfway through his first year as assistant project manager, he received a formal invitation to a meeting of the full board the following month. The next day he received a phone call from the secretary of one of the members and later a large envelope was hand-delivered to him with plane tickets and a cashier’s check for one thousand dollars.

Jamie walked off the plane after landing in Germany and felt a small hand attached to an arm that linked through his. A pretty woman in business attire pulled him into a limo and handed him an apple martini while giving instructions to the driver in German. The woman sat close beside him and peeled off her jacket as Jamie gorged himself on her jutting chest and fat red lips. She dragged him through men’s clothing stores where a lucky few could afford to shop until his interview suit was complete.

The woman watched him get in and out of his clothes at least a dozen times during the afternoon and when it was clear they were done she looked at her watch and then pushed him into a seat in the dressing room while pulling her blouse off. She was completely naked bouncing on Jamie’s lap and all he could do is hang on. His twenty years on earth had not prepared him for this thrilling experience, nor had the many dropped panties delivered him to the promised land quite like she did.

One month later, haircut and manicured hands, wearing a tailored suit and shiny shoes, Jamie met the members of the board for the first time. They had vetted Jamie so thoroughly they knew his test results in Chemistry from his sophomore year in high school. Millions of dollars would be gambled on his ability in the next ten years and the board gave him no quarter as they questioned his course of action in one impossible scenario after another.

After three hours they all broke for lunch and vaporized except for one man. Clearly the youngest of the board members, he poured the world’s best whisky into a cut crystal glass and handed it to Jamie.

“You are doing remarkably well Mister Fraser. You can relax because you’re already hired. Now comes the negotiation for salary and benefits. I cannot be seen coaching you so listen carefully, “tell them you want ten years as project manager followed by first right of refusal for every position that opens in the next grade up, forever. It will guarantee a life of promotions until you get dizzy from a fear of heights.” He poured Jamie another shot of the whisky he would remember for the rest of his life.

“Good luck friend.” In seconds, Jamie was alone feeling his bravery assert itself. What the hell, he thought, friend or foe, he had a good feeling about the man. Jamie drained his glass and when the board reconvened, he gambled his career on the advice of a total stranger.

Steal gray eyes regarded Jamie under thick white eyebrows. Thin lips pressed together in a straight line across his deeply lined face. You could hear a pin drop in that room and Jamie wondered if the members could hear his ramming heart. He remembered his boss working seventy or more hours per week, missing the birth and growth of his kids, saying he had to make money while the opportunity lasted. Complaining his six-figure income would end after ten years and he would settle into managing whatever store they gave him, at a lower salary, for the rest of his career.

When they offered the same package to Jamie, he stood at the end of the conference table with all eyes waiting for him to pledge his extraordinary life to corporate slave labor. He dropped his head for a minute of quiet before he threw the dice.

“My mother taught me to always know where I want to be, so my feet know which way to go.” He looked up at the man on the other end of the table. “I have a braw picture of my life before my dyin day,” he gave them a half-smile, “and I willna get there with yer offer. I’m sorry gentlemen, I respectfully decline.”

Jamie sat down, shaking from his feet to the crown of his head, silently invoking the love of his parents and the power of Lallybroch to carry him through the rest of the meeting.

The white eyebrows asked Jamie to step out just as the door opened and the sexy secretary found his eyes, smiling her intent. She led him to a hallway and pushed him into a couch, then turned her attention to a flask and a shot glass pulled out of her briefcase. Jamie was so tired. He stared at the shot glass anticipating the lovely feeling it would bring. The woman handed it to him and told him to toss it back. He did.

The phone in the woman’s purse vibrated and she stood, bending over to press her tongue into Jamie’s mouth as she kissed him.

“Good luck” she whispered into his ear and disappeared around the corner seconds before the conference room door opened.

Eight board members filed past Jamie, smiling and shaking his hand. White eyebrows was the last in line and told Jamie to expect an offer in the next two days. It would be hand-delivered and it would rock his world.

He was feeling better, almost like superman as he walked to the exit of the building. Hearing his name, he turned around as the young board member caught up to him.

“Last bit of advice Jamie. In eleven years you will wonder what gift to send me as thanks for how I helped you today.” He pressed the bottle of whiskey into his hand. “I want a case of this.” He smiled with his perfect teeth, “It’s my favorite.”

Jamie watched Claire drive out of the parking lot and returned to the store. Jumping stairs two at a time to his office he left the lights off and drifted to sleep on his couch. Sometime in the dead of night, when unanswered questions are brought to the light, Jamie dreamed.

The dancer was twirling across the room straight toward him. He watched her like a statue, made of concrete and powerless to move. She stopped spinning six inches from him. She spoke rapid Arabic and he could only watch her mouth until she said “Jamie.”

His eyes snapped to her eyes. She spoke to him! Finally! She was pointing to something and his eyes followed the line she pointed to. He saw, in the distance, the room in his store where he found Claire. She sat on the floor with wee ones sitting all around her as she read to them.

The dancer was pointing furiously at Claire, ”love her,” said in her broken English.

Jamie looked back to the dancer. There was love in his eyes, he could feel it. “I love you, I must be with you.”

The dancer took Jamie’s hand and led him across the floor approaching the dressing room. Before she entered the room, she turned around and Jamie saw she was sobbing and then she looked at Claire.

“Please.” Said through her tears. Jamie felt his mind snap having her so close to him. He looked around at the empty restaurant. They were alone and he would have his way with her.

“Jesus!” Jamie yelled in his sleep and his eyes flew open. “Ah diah!” His office was pitch black and the store was empty. He felt the huge erection that pulsed between his legs, his balls were pulled up tight to his body and stung like they were being poked by a live wire. He was literally seconds from ejaculation. All he had to do is close his eyes and see her kneel in front of him and his pain would turn to pleasure. Jamie was panting and conflicted, crazy angry at letting himself go back to her, even in his head.

“Leave me alone ye cunt!” He was seething mad just wanting a way out of this nightmare. “I dinna bide with rape but if it would rid yer presence in my head, I would break yer bones with my brutality.”

Jamie grabbed his coat and ran for his car feeling completely out of control. The speedometer pushed into the criminal zone as he sped through Edinburgh. Where is a cop when ye need one, he wondered? He had to be punished for thinking he could harm another person, especially a woman. A night in jail would be helpful, jar him back to reality before his well-constructed life crumbled around him. He raked a hand through his hair then gripped the steering wheel, hating the shaking that vibrated his fingers like he was as weak as a bairn.

Jenny couldn’t see him this way, just in case she was awake, so he drove the back roads until his tank was almost empty.

Being unsuccessful at getting arrested and nearly running his gas tank dry, Jamie turned into the Lallybroch driveway and sat in the quiet of his truck. Dawn was breaking across the fields and he saw himself running through the corn stalks as a lad with a single concern to get home before he was late for supper. He desperately wished he could go back in time, before his mistakes, and try again to be the man his parents raised.

He took a deep breath and walked to the front door noticing Ian’s car was still where he left it. Jamie wondered if he was sacked out on the couch and felt the sting of guilt for leaving like he did. Setting the alarm for two hours he dropped into bed. Sleep came quickly as she wrapped her cadaverous long fingers around his defenseless brain.

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