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fallminlove · 5 months ago
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[10:14]
It’s been really hard to keep it together for the past several days. You just broke up with your partner of several years, though it wasn’t a nasty break up, something, felt like it was missing.
You had to push your thoughts aside and continue on with your life, you still have to make ends meet, no matter how much you’re hurt.
By being around your coworkers you seem to be able to distract yourself a bit. The small talks with them, having your supervisor explain the new project, you were able to prioritize other tasks before your feelings.
Soon the workday ends, and on your way back to your apartment, the emptiness crawls back to your mind and body and almost takes possession of you.
Needing to shake this feeling off, you got off the next stop on the bus. The stop was by a local park, not too far down there were neighborhood of houses that each had their own quirks.
You walked into the park to wander around, looking at the greens and hear the birds chirp, no thoughts, what so ever.
But emptiness is so hard to get rid of, because what are you suppose to forget if there were nothing there to begin with?
You sat down on a bench, looking toward the sky. Tears starts welling up in your eyes, the feelings has to escape somewhere.
There was a boy in a snapback and some athletic clothing nearby, seemingly out on a run for his workout. You quickly wiped away the tears from your face and took several deep breathes, so you don’t make strangers worry for you in public.
Unfortunately this boy was no stranger.
The boy jogged closer to you and you recognized who this non-stranger was, “Vernon?” you called out, you weren’t sure if it was him since it’s been a bit since you saw him.
When you said his name, the boy gives a smile, “I thought I was seeing someone I knew! I think it’s been 8 years since we seen each other!”
“Right, ever since I moved I don’t think I saw you again,” you thought back at the memories you’ve had with Vernon. He was a childhood friend, whom also was your neighbor. After your family move to the other side of town, the two of you have lost connections.
While you were deep down in your memory lane, Vernon noticed your puffy eyes and slightly red nose and cheeks, “hey are you alright? You seem like you’ve been crying”
You flustered by his questioning and you hesitated for a bit, which to him seems like you didn’t want to answer, “it’s alright if you don’t want to tell me, but just want to know I’ll be here to listen if you ever need anyone”
You smiled and nodded, “thank you Vernon, something happened recently and I’ve just not been in the right place of mind… I will explain to you once I’m ready…” the words came out fragilely as if it can break from a slight touch.
Vernon took off one of his earbuds, and hands it to you, “I’m not good with my words for comfort… But I can share my earbuds with you?”
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xandrikart · 1 year ago
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aghostsnail · 7 months ago
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so-so there's this guy (@keferon 's tf mecha au)
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hootyhoowoo · 6 months ago
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A little 15 min doodle but first post of the year has to be Bingqiu!
#hoot art#ok its time to get mushy in the tags because I doubt anyone would read them too closely#I’ve had severe art block for YEARS before I got into danmei in 2024#and it wasn’t that my skill was gone it’s just that I thought nothing I did was good enough#I started reading danmei around the summer of last year and I got SO INSPIRED#I dived into the fandom side of things (I haven’t been in a live fandom in years) and was so excited about all the art people were making#and writing! and music! and animatics!#everything was so bright and colorful and beautiful#and everyone had such cool designs for these book characters that I’d grown to love#so I took a chance and doodled a little Luo Binghe and posted him on here#and I was so taken aback by how welcoming and sweet the fandom was#it made me wanna keep taking chances and posting my art— because I think that’s one of the hardest things I’ve come to accept#that even if it’s not good enough for me#someone else may enjoy it#and ain’t it crazy that ive come to enjoy drawing again too#sure the interaction has been fun but it’s been even more fun experimenting with my style and experimenting with colors and rendering#and grayscale and angles#and composition and expressions#ahh!! art is so fun!! I forgot how fun it was!!#I had forgotten how much I loved to draw!!#and the fandom— so many ideas are exchanged and I’ve met some of the loveliest people thru the sv fandom!#tgcf too but they’re a little less chill lmao#anyways#I’ve set up a little spot in the fandom and I plan to keep at it here it’s very nice and cozy and funny and warm#huge thanks to everyone for being so kind and welcoming#and an even bigger thanks to anyone who’s interacted with my art#I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that someone took the time out of their day to like/repost these silly little doodles I post#incredible. ok bye for now :)#svsss#bingqiu
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chimerafeathers · 3 months ago
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i know we love to rag on Siffrin for feeling so miserably guilty and manipulative for the crime of [checks notes] “doing nice things for their friends so that they’ll be happy and care about him even if it’s not perfectly sincere on his end”
but like. in context i don’t think that thought process is anywhere near as nonsensical as it always sounds written out like that
i’m sure i’m just stating the obvious here but it’s not really about the “crime” of making people happy. it’s about what he’s not doing, which is anything that would allow their friends to have any real knowledge or agency over the situation they’re all in.
it’s about never acting according to his real feelings in the moment and letting them see the messier version of him that exists now, never allowing their relationships to evolve or develop meaningfully beyond the “safest” iteration, the thing that is Known and produces the Correct Results, because anything else has the possibility of leading to negative emotions towards Siffrin.
Siffrin knows he’s not really doing all this for their benefit, not entirely, because the “right” thing to do would give them the full context to choose how they feel and what to do about it. they’re happy, but in a way they don’t get to keep. they’re happy, but in a way that keeps Siffrin safe from anything more complex and real. they’re happy, but only because some Siffrin in the past said the right things once, and this new, bitter, lonely, desperate version wouldn’t know how to get the “correct result” without a script to follow. they’re happy, and it was real once, it meant something once, but not anymore.
they cared about that Siffrin, yes, but would they still care about this one, if they knew? if Siffrin ever allowed them to know? (he won’t, he can’t, he refuses.)
and there’s something that could have been said in favor of Siffrin allowing himself this “selfishness” if it made him happy anyway, if it could be a genuine source of comfort in a difficult situation—but it doesn’t! not really! because that guilt is there, because that fear is there, because of how flimsy it all inevitably feels.
so they’re not doing it for their family’s benefit, because that happiness is predicated on lies and ignorance. he’s barely doing it for his own benefit, because they’re torturing themself by revealing things they no longer want to reveal, concealing things they no longer want to conceal, acting out of fear of rejection rather than genuine desire for connection. who benefits from this hollow “kindness,” really?
that’s why the last loop had to be the ugliest one. Siffrin had to see that the worst could happen and there could still be love and connection on the other side. that even when the party sees the worst of him, when they have the agency he’s been knowingly denying them, they will still choose to love him.
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slavhew · 1 year ago
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boys cry. real men weep.
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mortalstrife · 8 months ago
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Animals! Brutal! They deserve no mercy. Strike them down! Follow them to their base and kill them, all of them!🔺I did not realize similarity was required for the exercise of compassion. They are afraid. We wish only to do what we can.
minvember prompt 3: crowd
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madbard · 4 months ago
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rainbowberriesandcookies · 7 months ago
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"Orihime being afraid of Ichigo's hollow power shows she doesn't fully accept him."
I see this take and similar ones pop up from anti fans of Ichigo and Orihime and try to say that Orihime is bad, in the wrong, etc. for being afraid of his hollowfication powers when her first encounter with a hollow was her brother Sora.
I know the anime did a lot of damage to Orihime's character - especially by taking these scenes out and altering them compared to the manga - but when Ichigo begins to undergo the same process as Sora, it only makes sense that she's afraid.
Not because she's afraid of Ichigo but because what he can become.
And just like Sora said, "It would be [her] fault"
Also - this is to counter the whole "Ichigo and Orihime were never close/barely friends/just acquaintances" that I see floating around often too.
But all in all - Orihime was never afraid of Ichigo. She was afraid of what he could have become.
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As Acidwire, Sora targeted Orihime because of her growing bonds with Tatsuki and Ichigo. He even says that he attacked them because they tried to tear him and Orihime apart and that she already knew why.
For clarity - what I'm about to say isn't me saying that Sora was abusive in life and I'm going to specifically try to use his name as a hollow "Acidwire" as much as possible to express the slight separation between Sora as he was while he was alive and Sora as he was when he became Acidwire.
Especially since early on, it established that hollows - while they were once former humans - often end up being twisted versions of the people they once were.
Now onto the point -
The "You already know why" isn't dissimilar from how abusers, manipulators, etc. often talk to their victims when they're angry or upset. It's similar to the silent treatment in a way where it implies that the victim intentionally made the abuser upset.
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He references her prayers for him every day helped ease his own suffering before she became friends with Tatsuki and entered high school before she stopped praying for him altogether. He then says how it hurt him that when she got home, all she would talk about was Ichigo.
For one - the fact that Acidwire knows this proves that Ichigo and Orihime were at least already friends by the time the manga started. In contrast to the anime where Ichigo outright says to Rukia that they've "never had a real conversation"
Anyways - this here in and of itself proves Ichigo and Orihime at least knew each other beyond just acquaintances - because they were close enough for Acidwire to notice and be hurt by it.
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She tries to defend herself but he cuts her off before attacking Ichigo again
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Acidwire tells her to come with him back to when it was just the two of them. In the context of the story, this would basically be him killing her.
However, this is also a tactic abusers use known as isolation.
When she questions why she should go with him and why he'd hurt Ichigo and Tatsuki before saying that the brother she loved would have never done anything like this.
I feel like in the anime, it kinda breezed by these moments which are honestly heartbreaking in hindsight and key for the leadup to why Orihime was afraid when Ichigo would use his hollow mask.
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but Acidwire's response to her refusal and saying that the brother she loved would never do this is to not just harm her, but blame her and say that he is going to kill her.
In the time that she's become friends with Ichigo and Tatsuki and slowly grew happier, Acidwire blamed her for his own despair and sadness.
The kind, loving older brother that she had always known became a monster that would kill her and everyone close to her, and it would be her fault that he did because she stopped praying for him.
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Here, it shows how Acidwire views Orihime not as a person who should live her own fulfilling life, but as an object who should live for him because he gave up his entire life to raise and protect her.
Once again, not to say that Sora was an abuser or abusive person, but this line of logic is the same one that abusive and toxic parents often use when it comes to emotionally abusing their children. Saying how the sacrificed so much for their children to control how their children live their own lives when the child never asked to be born. Similarly, Orihime didn't ask to be born or ask for Sora to raise her.
Sora did because that's the kind of person that he is, but Acidwire turns these loving traits of Sora's into a manifestation of abuse.
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And even though she has nothing to be sorry for... She apologizes to Acidwire because that's the kind of person she is.
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It also shows how she puts on a smile so that way others don't have to worry about her. She didn't want Sora to think that she was sad and hurting, she didn't want him to worry about her so she buried and hid her own sadness.
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She apologizes to Acidwire for making him sad and (in what she thinks are probably her last moments) says that she loves him and that she didn't mean to hurt him.
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As he's slowly regaining himself, Sora admits that he already knew that Orihime was just trying to shield her sadness from him but still wanted her to pray for him because it was only in those moments that her heart was his.
Ichigo then tells him that it's the same, those who die and those who survive are just as sad as the other.
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It's in this moment Sora had fully regained himself, enough to know that he couldn't stay in a form like this or else he'd come to hurt Orihime again. If he killed the little sister that he raised like a daughter over his own heartache, would he have been any better than their own abusive parents?
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And finally, the two get to say goodbye properly.
Also - a side note - a lot of people criticize Orihime's passive nature and how she never seems to fight or argue with anyone but it's because the one time that she did have a fight with someone, they died and became a monster.
This entire sequence emphasizes why Orihime always tries to reach out to others in need and never argues or fights. She doesn't want her friends or even strangers, to become like how Sora became Acidwire.
Now, Rukia had changed/erased Orihime's memories following this event but it likely didn't work as intended since during the Rukia rescue arc, Orihime mentions that she's been able to see hollows and spirits ever since the encounter with Acidwire.
Now let's go ahead and jump ahead to VL Ichigo -
Going to Hueco Mundo - Ichigo already knew without having to be told or convinced by anyone that Orihime was in danger. Aizen did his best to make it look like Orihime was a traitor to the Soul Society and Ichigo never bought it
It's being put in plainer and plainer terms that Ichigo transformed as a response to Orihime's call for help.
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Even if you want to argue that there was a mistranslation or that Ichigo doesn't directly reference Orihime, even if you remove all of the text the sequence of events goes
Orihime's cries
Ichigo began to move and get up - functionally coming back from being dead
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Once again, even if you want to remove the text avoid arguing about whether or not it was properly translated - nevermind the fact that in Japanese pronouns are often omitted and there is a big assumption to just know who/what you are talking about -
Even without text, the images show Orihime crying, and Ichigo beginning to come back to life.
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Both she and Ulquiorra question whether that is Ichigo
Now that said, I think that Ichigo vs Ulquiorra is one of the most brutal and best fights in the series. Both Uryu and Orihime know that this isn't Ichigo.
Yet remember how it is established that hollows often become twisted versions of the people they once were? This is a power that Ichigo can't control and yet uses it to protect the person who called out to him.
While I don't disagree with the notion that this is also White protecting Ichigo, it doesn't change the fact that Kubo intentionally drew Orihime and Ichigo rising side by side multiple times. Even without text, Kubo places emphasis on her and her cries for help against VL Ichigo - not White or Zangetsu.
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And when Uryu tries to bring him back to his senses what does Ichigo do? Put a sword through him.
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Once again, even if you want to remove any and all text, Kubo puts VL Ichigo paneled side by side with Orihime, and when Ichigo comes back to his senses
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The first person that he sees is Orihime.
As much as I want, I'll save my yapping about Ulquiorra for a separate time.
But for a moment, even if only briefly, his desires to protect were twisted in a way that hurt those around him, and once again - Orihime was the catalyst.
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Ichigo says that he didn't want to win like this - showing that he views fights as something more honorable than what White/VL Ichigo had done. His last memory being that he had a hole put in his chest, also shows that he more or less "blacked out" and had no control over his actions.
What is one of the things established when people become hollows?
That they lose control of themselves and their desires are twisted.
The difference between Ichigo and Acidwire is that Ichigo wants to protect Orihime while Acidwire wanted to own her - which is why Ichigo never directly harms Orihime even as he loses control of himself.
But - all of this yapping is to show how from Orihime's perspective, hollowfication and hollow powers aren't good. They turn people into monsters that hurt their friends and loved ones.
It's also established that Orihime is the type of person who will internalize her own thoughts and feelings (it isn't ""hubris"" as some people call it).
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Whether or not you want to argue that it was an assumption that Ichigo became a VL because she cried for help, it doesn't change the fact that she still cried for help and that Ichigo became a hollow/VL.
From her own perspective, she blames herself regardless of whether or not you think that it is an assumption on her part that Ichigo became a VL to protect her.
And after all - why wouldn't she blame herself when her first encounter with a hollow - Acidwire - blamed her for the monster that he became?
I know I skipped over him using his mask in the fight with Grimmjow, but I already yap too much and wanted to try to keep an already long post short(er).
Anyway - all of this illustrates the trauma that Orihime has regarding hollows and hollowfication. It's not truly her fault - yet in both instances she blames herself.
And not just Kubo, but Ichigo himself is fully aware of this.
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Which is why when he tells her not to worry and that he's still himself is so important - because it shows that Ichigo has learned to control that side of himself while at the same time, being aware that Orihime is someone who has been traumatized by hollows and hollowfication.
Ultimately - she doesn't want Ichigo to become a monster like Sora. For Ichigo, it's growth in his own ability while for Orihime it's comfort in knowing that Ichigo won't lose himself fighting to protect those he cares about.
In short, she isn't afraid of Ichigo - she was scared of him becoming a monster like Sora had.
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thatonecrazysidekick · 6 months ago
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@sunfloweraro I'm sorry it took so long to respond to you on this post, but I needed to draw this before any further action could be taken.
Yippee, Ravio will get comfort!! My sanity is safe (for now). Hilda and Zelda appearances would be cool, and a Sheerow POV would be quite interesting indeed!! I wonder what that bird is thinking behind those blank little eyes...
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inoreuct · 2 years ago
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would you agree that we all need more Sanji getting nosebleeds over Zoro in this fandom?
YES *pelting down a hill waving the proposal for this in my hand like a madman* YESSSSSS
the first time sanji gets a nosebleed over zoro is his clue-in that oh. i’m not straight, am i. the swordsman’s doing a bench press (shirtless, as always) as sanji walks by (and sanji sneaks a look, as always, because who wouldn’t?) and when he glances over the plates he has to do a double take because what the fuck. zoro’s pressing more than twice his body weight. zoro’s repping more than twice his body weight. he’s just registered that maybe he’s stared for a bit too long when he feels something warm and wet on his upper lip, iron dripping over his mouth, and he books it for the galley.
he slams the door shut and presses his back against it before he slides to the ground and screams into his knees because what. the fuck. it’s not even that he’s getting hot and bothered over a guy; it’s just that the guy’s zoro. he’s not supposed to get nosebleeds over zoro.
but he does.
and it gets worse.
zoro walking around shirtless on deck? nosebleed. zoro re-tying the sails and just hanging on with his legs around the mast? nosebleed. zoro strutting out of the shower door, damp with steam and hair dripping wet and a towel around his waist? nosebleed. zoro tsking irritably and grabbing all of sanji’s food and packages from him to haul the whole lot over his shoulder? NOSEBLEED.
and not even that. he starts getting breathless around zoro and his chest hurts. he kicks zoro back while they’re sparring one day and the swordsman grins, feral and unrestrained and all challenge and teeth, and sanji’s heart spasms so hard that he actually wonders if he’s about to go into cardiac arrest. he’s barely twenty, he isn’t ready to die— much less because of some stupid marimo. chiselled abs and a nice set of biceps are only worth so much of sanji’s dignity. he twists and smashes the sole of his shoe right into zoro’s pretty face.
still, it gets so, so bad that he’s elected to just. avoid zoro completely. he’s sneaking around corners and running across open expanses ducked low like some kind of goofy thief and he knows it’s so fucking stupid but he doesn’t. he doesn’t know if zoro likes— no. he doesn’t even think about it. there’s no way, and if he gives himself false hope he’ll just break his own heart. he doesn’t know if zoro likes men, or anyone, much less him; nobody in their right mind would, not really. he's nice to have but not to keep and he's come to terms with it.
…until zoro corners him in the galley and demands to know what the fuck’s going on.
sanji stays facing away, slowly washing the dishes even as his heart pounds so hard it hurts. he is painfully aware of the way zoro’s seething like an over-boiled kettle in one of the chairs behind him, arms crossed over his stupidly broad chest and stock-still because he never, ever shakes his leg even though sanji knows he wants to.
his sponge squeaks across ceramic. the water’s warm against his fingertips, and his eyes flick up to meet his own reflection in the porthole window; he looks… well, he doesn’t know. scared, maybe. nervous. his mouth is thin, eyes wide, cheeks flushed, a shudder running its fingers down his spine even as his heartbeat thumps between his ribs and god, fuck, it aches. and he knows. he looks himself in the eyes and he knows that somewhere along the line nosebleeds had turned into falling in love and he was the stupid idiot who had just let it happen because he was too weak to pry zoro out of his thoughts.
his gaze flicks down sharply when he hears the sudden scrape of the chair, and zoro spits, “look, i can’t fix whatever i did wrong if you don’t tell me what it is.”
sanji’s heart throbs. “what?”
he can hear zoro’s scowl. “what, what? i obviously did something. you’ve been avoiding me like the plague.”
the cook almost laughs. he bites it down and swallows his words, salty-sweet at the back of his throat. guilt nips at him; zoro’s his rival and and his personal annoyance and a blockhead but he might also, maybe, just maybe, be sanji’s best friend. and sanji hasn’t been very fair to him lately.
he swallows again, clears his throat silently. “you didn’t do anything, marimo,” he murmurs to the plate in his hands, trying for airy and getting more somewhat vaguely strangled. he coughs. “just forget about it. sorry i’ve been weird.”
sanji will deal. he will, somehow; he’d been careless and careless is dangerous and for perhaps the first time in his life, he has too much to lose. he’ll squash his heart into a box and lock it down tight like he always has and it’ll hurt, but when does it ever not? he mentally declares the matter done and dusted as he shakes off the plate and gently sets it on the drying rack.
his lungs hitch as a callused hand cups his elbow.
zoro pulls him around. he’s too weak to resist. the edge of the sink digs into his hip as stormy grey eyes scan his face and zoro looks tense, his jaw set in the way it only is when he faces off with a particularly vexing foe.
“did i not look happy enough at dinner?" he asks, and it could be mockery but it isn't, not with that edge to his voice; not desperation, but damn near. like filter paper burning its way to ash. "was it my clothes on the floor? my boots on the bed? what?”
sanji can't stand it anymore. he looks away, tries to twist out of the invisible bonds zoro has him trapped in, but fingers looped around his wrist are all it takes to make him stay and fuck, fuck, he's so fucked.
"sanji, what did i do?” zoro breathes, brow furrowed, voice too near and too damn earnest, and sanji's throat bobs as he digs the heel of his palm into his eye.
this isn't how it's supposed to go. zoro isn't supposed to care. zoro isn't supposed to be standing here in the galley saying his name in that tone of voice. a hand carefully pulls his own away from his face, and zoro doesn't fucking let go, and sanji feels too much like he's been stripped down to the bone.
"i know," zoro continues, gruff like he doesn't know how to be anything else, "that i upset you. so would you please tell me what i did so i can fix it?" he bends lower still, ducking to try and catch sanji’s line of sight but sanji just can't look at him. "i'll fix it, i—"
"you can't fix this." the words are out and in the air before he can stop them, and a bittersweet smile curves his mouth. "there's nothing to fix, so you can't fix it. just let it go, alright?"
zoro wants to argue. sanji can tell. but the swordsman lets out a measured exhale after a long moment and pulls back, face carefully neutral. "at least tell me what's going on, cook."
sanji looks down at his feet. "...i can't."
"like hell you can't," zoro replies immediately, and it's such an abrupt reminder of their normal banter that it wrenches a rough noise from sanji's chest. "i was the one who held your hair back after you had, like, seven margaritas too many. don't think you could tell me anything worse than the experience of trying to stop you from falling into your own puke."
"oh, jesus fuck," sanji swears on instinct, then laughs. it's unfortunately hollow. "that was one time, asshole."
"one time too many," zoro hums, raising an eyebrow. "so you gonna tell me what's going on, or do i have to make it a captain's order?"
sanji grits his teeth.
"i will drag luffy in here, i don't care—"
"fucking—" he holds his breath, flipping around to white-knuckle the edge of the sink and letting it out slow. "fine. you ever loved someone, marimo?"
"sure." zoro shrugs easily, crossing his arms as he looks out the window. "kuina, but i think i learned to love her memory more than anything else. luffy, nami—" a near-unnoticeable flutter of thick lashes. "you."
sanji exhales through his nose as he rocks back on his heels. squeezes out air till it hurts. "you know that's not what i meant."
"what did you mean, then?"
he turns to look at where zoro has settled lazily against the counter, the moon turning his eyes to silver. "I mean the kind of love that makes your blood race. that makes you want more even when you know you'll never take more than you're allowed. the kind that makes your heart hurt so badly you feel empty without it."
the swordsman's face is unreadable as he tilts his head slowly. "i did say i love you."
it hits sanji like a bullet. he sucks in a sharp breath, and his throat burns as he turns away and tries to stop his shoulders from heaving up. "don't fuck with me, zoro. not about this."
it feels rather like a cruel cosmic joke. he's so near yet so far, just one step away with a gauzy curtain between but he can't touch it. he won't. he's got too many things on the line and yet he can't even name one of them.
"hey."
he squeezes his eyes shut against the burn of salt that shouldn't even be there, and look at that. little sanji's gone and broken his own heart again.
"hey," zoro tries again, more insistent, one hand hovering in the space between them and sanji feels the pull of it like a magnet.
he doesn't turn away as it cups his cheek. doesn't run as fingers slide through the short hairs at his nape, a thumb behind his jaw. his lashes are damp. it is everything he wants and everything he cannot have and he can't—
"look at me."
"i can't," he breathes, lungs rising fast and shallow. he's afraid to open his eyes. he's afraid of what he'll see.
"yes, you can." zoro shifts closer and another hand joins the first. it's big and rough and warm and he holds sanji's face like he's the moon herself. "look at me, curly."
he can't.
he does.
zoro's gaze is almost painful to meet straight-on with how intense it is. he seems to realise, face softening as he leans closer, closer, posture loose enough that it would be no problem for sanji to shove him away. "you love me," he breathes. "yes or no?"
sanji's heart stops. his tongue is clumsy in his mouth, his brain a mess of yesnoyesyesnoiwon'tican’tido—
"don't think." zoro's voice cuts through the haze as he shakes his head slowly; a sword through smoke, silver-bright, singing in the air and leaving silence. "don't think. you love me, yes or no."
the galley swims around sanji as his vision blurs. he feels his tears spill hot down his cheek, knows the way zoro aches to brush them away and yet stays still. he opens his mouth and it feels like stepping out of the only shelter he's ever known; he is an open fucking wound and he's raw and everything hurts, everything but zoro. zoro. zoro. "yes."
just one word, three simple letters, and still it feels like damnation; if he'd never said it he could deny it but now it's real. the swordsman relaxes, shoulders dropping enough that his forehead brushes sanji's, and sanji tracks the way his throat bobs. the way steel-grey eyes flicker over his face, molten in the light of the electric lamps and the moonlight spilling through the window, gilding zoro like something out of a dream. a fairytale sanji read as a child until the edges of the pages fitted familiar to his thumbs as his little hands reached for a happy ending that was never meant to be his.
he shakes, now, as zoro reaches up to run tentative fingers through straw-pale hair. "let me love you. yes or no."
"i—" the sound that twists from his mouth is cracked jagged down the middle, unpolished as a common pebble picked up off the damn street. "you don't—"
"yes or no."
"i'm not what you want," he gasps, his face wet.
"yes or no."
sanji wants to break apart. because zoro sounds like he's begging, and he cannot fathom anybody possibly wanting him that much. he wants to scream and cry and claw at the walls until his nails break. he wants to shatter into pieces all over the floor without having to worry about putting himself back together. he wants. he wants, and zoro's looking at him with the closest thing to reverence he's seen in his life, and even that isn't enough for him to believe it. "i'm not what you want."
he can barely look at zoro. he can barely look at himself. the shame is clawing a pit into his stomach, and he lets it, feels every inch of it, because what kind of person doesn't know how to be loved? his breath catches wetly as zoro cups his jaw in both hands, tilting his face up, and once again sanji is too weak to pull away.
"you are everything i want."
the words are so fierce, so sure, and sanji is cracking apart at the seams. the stitches pulled tight by his own hand are unravelling and he can't stop it—
"yes or no."
zoro's breath ghosts warm across his mouth, fingertips in his hair, just far away enough for sanji to see the way his eyes are blazing and yet he waits. his thumb on sanji's cheek is the gentlest thing sanji has ever known.
"you'll get tired of me," he tries weakly, one last time for good measure, and zoro just shakes his head. the resolve in his expression does not waver even once.
sanji breaks.
"yes." the word scrapes itself out of his throat seconds before arms are going around him, and he sobs. lets the swordsman bring them both to the kitchen floor as he curls up in zoro's lap, fingers clawing into his white shirt, numb with how hard he cries because nobody, nobody has ever stayed. not without him getting hurt in the process. he pushes them away when he gets scared and they let him and then it becomes his fault when it all blows up in his face, but zoro's not leaving, and it's so foreign to him that he's shaking so badly and he can't stop.
a warm, heavy palm smooths over his spine and he lets himself be shifted closer, settles sideways as zoro wraps an arm over his shins and rocks them until his breathing evens out. the embarrassment hits like a gut punch; he knows he looks like a mess, face blotchy and hair everywhere and eyes puffy as hell, but zoro cards his bangs out of his eyes and looks at him like he doesn't care, and sanji turns away.
he feels... fragile. like he's made of tinted glass and spun sugar, like he'll cave in at the slightest touch. there is something melting in his chest and it drips down over his ribs; pools fresh as a river in spring, offset by the grounding presence of zoro's hands on his skin. "don't say i didn't warn you," he mumbles, masking his very real fear behind a layer of watery bravado as he hides his face in zoro's shoulder, and of course, of course zoro sees right through him.
the swordsman's thumb traces the swirl of his eyebrow before zoro rests his chin on top of sanji's head. "i don’t listen. you know that."
you know me, is what goes unsaid, and sanji doesn't deign to reply. he buries his face into zoro's chest and breathes in the smell of steel and sword oil and— he sits up slightly, eyes narrowing. "you've been stealing my deodorant, yes or no." the way zoro stills momentarily is a dead giveaway, and he yelps when the swordsman flicks his forehead.
"would you rather i be stinky?" zoro scoffs, rolling his eyes gently as sanji settles back down with a huff.
"you still are stinky. if we're gonna be together i'm expecting you to shower at least once every two days—" zoro groans, and he powers through, raising his voice, "—and if you aren't fussy i'll let you shower with me."
the way zoro instantly stops complaining cracks a laugh out of him. it's weak and watered-down, but it's a start. zoro's hands slide back into his hair and he hums as he lets his eyes fall shut.
the moon's full tonight. their ship rocks gently, and sanji gets comfortable; zoro's warm and solid and happens to make a perfectly respectable pillow. the thought that he can have this now sends a thrill through him.
he's not a fool. he's not optimistic when it comes to this. when it comes to love.
but with zoro's thumb rubbing mindless circles against the side of his thigh and a kiss pressed to the top of his head, he's got a pretty good feeling about this time around.
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aurorangen · 6 months ago
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My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024🎉
Thank you for tagging me @duusheen I loved looking through all your memories ❤️ I hope everyone enjoys looking through my favourites from 2024, it was definitely an emotional year for my legacy.
Before backstory (Jan-Apr)
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A wth kind of screenshot! Giant lettuce!?
This legacy has many revelations (with many more to come) but this is my fav so far NO ONE SAW IT COMING!!!!
Isaac my bby (idk when he'll show up...)
Absolutely loved doing this reunion ❤️
Vincent holding his mini me
Tjolc (Apr-Jul)
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My obsession with them started 👍
This JUST TURN AROUND moment!!
Their friendship is the best thing of this legacy jkjk literally all my posts that feature them I love 😍
Ahhhhhhhh finally their blind date
I had so much fun coming up with the texts IT'S SO SILLY LMAO
Backstory (Jun-Nov)
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This moment made me cry, his whole childhood made me cry
First time building an autopsy room, I'm really proud of it 😊
Emotions were so sad but perfect 😭
Recreating the scenes was the highlight of the backstory for me, improving and going through the emotions again, I loved that. The debate was one of my favourite uni posts and to do it again!
First kiss scene! I love them so much
Back to present (Nov-Dec)
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A perfect timing screenshot just before Renee collapsed to the ground (poor Renee) also the dad mug 🥺
You see Rory family gameplay after what feels like years
Robbie hating pda! We love you Robbie
I still feel bad with not seeing them in a year, but I loved creating this post! Everyone looks so happy!!
Let Charlie eat his toast lmao
When sims look at the camera
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These moments are always hilarious for me 😂 It's like you are being the director and there are blooper moments!
Special post
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I've not included any of my build posts because those are all my tops from the year but this!!! THIS!!! The news article is my proudest creation in 2024. I remember researching and looking into real articles to help me write it. Forming all the words and editing them to look like a real article was so satisfying.
I'll tag @bloomingkyras @mikachusblog @bouncytrait @caramellles and @elderwisp but feel free to ignore ❤️
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artshokad2 · 2 days ago
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The unthinkable happened right when i was going to join in wip Wednesday unprompted @twodiamondhoes tagged me in it
I was going to do something a little more recent but the day snuck up on me so have a really old snippet from a fic i may or may not finish that i wrote in a haze of finals stress while listening to “Sleeping in the Kitchen” by Madilyn Mei on loop
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Jimmy Solidarity my beloved
Its a little out of my usual style because music possesses me in a way thats a little concerning sometimes but i had fun with it!
Tagging @gladumfdoodles who i know always has a snippet locked and loaded, @raffi-cat who should share their writing more in my humble opinion, @sincerely-nines because my favorite moot you should write fanfic… if you want…
and my friend ani whose tumblr @ is not working rn so im just going to send this to them but they should share their writing on tumblr!!! Its so fun!!
(No pressure to anyone, tis supposed to be for fun :D)
#i need you to know ive been jumping up and down and spinning in circles ever since i noticed the tag#first time posting writing on tumblr after over a year of writing fic how we feeling#I personally am terrified#my brain keeps going WHAT IF YOU GOT TOO SILLY WITH THE SNIPPET WHAT IF THEY HATE IT#when i know logically no one will hate it#also its funny how kit was like ive heard about your wips i wanna know more :D#and then i drop another completely unrelated never before seen wip on everyone#sorry gang#i have too many wips#if anyone wants to know about anything specific. yknow. you can ask me. i encourage asks. very much. talk to me please.#i love yapping i just dont get an excuse to often#now about the snippet itself#i feel like people forget how jimmy survived for a while in last life while only getting rolled two lives#and not making alliances solely based on how many lives he could get out of it (COUGH COUGH. SCOTT.)#and then how he was immediately put to yellow life in double life#he just starts out the race two seasons in a row getting shot in the foot by the universe for reasons wholly out of his control#and then the emotional weight that could come with that#anyways i think about that a lot#fic:sleeping in the kitchen#jimmy solidarity#team rancher#solidaritek#cause thats what the fic is. what else were you expecting from me.#ash writes#trafficblr#last life#double life#wip wednesday#also sorry to my other moots nines hs been my fan since all the way back when i was posting stupid doodles a year ago#theyre always going to be my favorite
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stygiansauce · 17 days ago
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Dealing Despair, anyone?
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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year ago
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#this is one of my favorite pokémon of ALL time. this is one of those pokémon that#when it first came out‚ i had such a Visceral reaction to. i couldn't get over this fucking dog. and i still can't#THEY CAN'T FUCKING SEE!!!!!! AHJGSAKDGASJGDSKCGAJVCKABCKB#i love it SO much it's so fucking. cute. it's so fucking cute. so happy to see that blue haired bitch in the sv dlc having one#DAS IST MEIN BABY. I LOVE IT. lord this is the best. gushing over this dog#while also listening to discO-zone for the first time in a Long time#which is one of my favorite albums of all time. right next to probably vylet pony's cutiemarks and the things that bind us#and burn pygmalion from the scary jokes#there you go. there's my music taste lain out flat. kinda all over the place but discO-zone is one of those that i've loved since i was#a real youngin. and i just rediscovered it last night and UUUUUUUGGHHHH IT'S SO GOOD#MUSIC!!!! AND DOGS. feeling GOOD this morning#by the time this posts‚ it'll be like. two weeks later. but past me was feeling great when she posted this#about to start shiny hunting pawniard for a friend's birthday. technically getting eggs as i write this#wish me luuuuck..! it'll probably be his birthday by the time this posts. lemme check#oh yeah this is gonna post two days After his birthday. hopefully by the time this goes up i've already got the pawniard#HI FORGOT TO TAG THIS ONE#hisuian growlithe#hi from the future again lol his birthday was like a month ago by this point because i ended up queueing up this guy before all the gmax#forms. i totally forgot them. and this whole time i've been queuing them up and shoving them Above this guy. so it was even longer ago#that i queued this guy up at this point. teehee!
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mbirnsings-71 · 6 months ago
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Struggled with today's art but I have to draw Scar Daily or I implode basically- also Ren for @pup-pee because I have to practice drawing him and Martyn after all-
Also I think Non-dog hybrid Ren is cursed but like it's what we're working with here we're balling-
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