#@kvetchkween

[augment-techs]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tweet from rochelle rochelle (@/ kvetchKween) reading: to me yearn always sounds too delicate. whatever i go through is much more disgusting /End ID]

[agtprpnabsrdty]

@kvetchkween (baleeted): to me yearn always sounds too delicate. whatever i go through is much more disgusting

[happyk44]

[ID:

1: Text reading: People always think we look for love at our lowest to distract us. I am convinced we do it because we want someone to look us in the eye, to look our ugly in the eye and still choose us. I didn't want a distatraction, [highlight] I wanted you to see a mess and still find me worthy of love, to tell me that you could still love me anyway. [end highlight]

2: Text in all caps reading:

I WANTED TO BE LOVED SO DESPERATELY

THAT MY FINGERS SHOOK WITH IT

3: Text in all caps reading:

I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL

BUT I COULD BE

4: Text reading: I wanted very much to not be where I was. In fact part of the trouble seemed to be that where I was wasn't anywhere at all. My life felt empty and unreal and I was embarassed about its thinness, the way one might be embarassed about wearing a stained or threadbare piece of clothing. I felt like I was in danger of vanishing, though at the same time the feelings I had were so raw and overwhelming that I often wished I could find a way of losing myself altogether, perhaps for a few months, until the intensity diminished. If I could have put what I was feeling into words, the words would have been an infant's wail: [italics] I don't want to be alone. I want someone to want me. I'm lonely. I'm scared. I need to be loved, to be touched, to be held. [end italics] It was the sensation of need that frightened me the most, as if I'd lifed the lid on an unappeasable abyss. I stopped eating very much and my hair fell out and lay noticeably on the wooden floor, adding to my disquiet.

5: Tumblr post from @/chaandajaan: But the thing I will never admit to anyone who's met me is how desperately I want to be loved, I don't think I could say it. How I want someone to hold my wrists and kiss my palms and smile at me, and [italics] want [end italics] me, I want to be wanted and I don't know how long poetry or songs will substitute for being wanted.

6: Text reading: "I don't want your love unless you know I am repulsive and love me even as you know it."

7: Text reading: I need you to know: I hated that I need more than this from him. [highlight] There is nothing more humilating to me than my own desires. [end highlight] Nothing thaat makes me hate myself more than being burdensome and less than self-sufficient. I did not want to feel like the kind of nagging woman who might exist in a sit-com.

8: Tweet from rochelle rochelle @/kvetchkween: to me yearn always sounds too delicate. what I go through is much more disgusting

9: Text reading: When you have wanted to be wanted all your life, and then somebody wants you, it feels like cheating. It feels like eating something you are not supposed to eat, and you eat it too quickly, always afraid of your lover walking in and seeing it smeared all over your face, red, the damning evidence of your hunger to be wanted, and nobody wants to love someone too desperate to be loved, so you do your best not to be desperate, you walk in the harsh January sun with your hands freezing in your pockets and try to look like someone who doesn't want anything too much. Here's the thing, you want everything so much that you're like a ravine in the shape of a woman, taking in anything that seems like it could be love.

10: Bolded text reading:

There is longing. So much longing.

I am afraid to be so incomplete.

11: Text reading: You want to be loved if only to prove it possible: to tell the world that someone saw you as a conquest and came back alive. that above all else, you are worthy of the risk, the effort. you want someone to serve you the evidence: [italics] you are not as damned as you think you are. you are not as damned as you think you are. [end italics]

12: Text reading: As they moved through the old barn, Adamn felt Ronan's eyes glance off him and away, his disinterest practiced but incomplete. Adam wondered if anyone else noticed. Part of him wished they did and immediately felt bad, because it was vanity, really: [highlight] [italics] See, Adam Parrish is wantable, worthy of a crush, not just by anyone, someone like Ronan, who could want Gansey or anyone else and chose Adam for his hungry eyes. [end italics] [end highlight]

/end ID]

to want and be wanted

georges bataille / emily palermo / olivia laing / @chaandajaan / georges bataille / cj hauser / @kvetchkween / @nicholasbraungf / vi khi nao / silas denver melvin

[cada5h]

a du mortain and the violent fearful nature of longing

the wayhaven chronicles by misha jenkins /rainer maria rilke / margaret atwood / yves olade / the wayhaven chronicles / trista mateer / jamaal may / the wayhaven chronicles / kvetchkween on twitter / tumblr, author unknown

[finalgirlguy]

hunger and love

"paper bag" by fiona apple / "what i could never confess without some bravado" by emily palermo / "the house of the spirits" by isabel allende / "little weirds" by jenny holzer / kvetchkween on twitter / 300122 by @ryebreadgf / "climbing" by lucille clifton / "faulty" by leila chatti

[augment-techs]

To me yearn always sounds too delicate. Whatever I go through is far more disgusting.

Skull, explaining away to Bulk the look that crosses his face whenever he stares too long at Billy passing by.

[911described]

[image description: 6 screenshots of Buck and Eddie from 911 ABC, with social media screenshots edited on top

Image 1: Buck (right frame) grins widely while staring at a smiling Eddie (left frame), they are walking so close their shoulders touch + text from twitter user @/yungsids, centered over Buck's chest that reads "not arguing w a dude that has big brown eyes. whatever you say beautiful"

Image 2: Buck (fills the frame) lies on his back in the mud after the well collapse, being held by Bobby (out of frame) and screaming face up in the rain + text from user 581d00 that reads "where's my beloved where's my beloved where's my beloved WHERE is my beloved where is where is MY beloved"

Image 3: Close up of Eddie laying on the sidewalk with his head in a puddle of his own blood, eyes open and hand slightly extended + text from twitter user @/s4m31p4n that reads "my love language is being shot by a gun"

Image 4: Buck (center frame) sits against a fire engine, face grim with smears of Eddie's blood visible on his face, neck, and shirt + text from twitter user @/kvetchkween that reads "to me yearn always sounds too delicate. whatever i go thru is much more disgusting"

Image 5: Close up of Eddie (left of center) in Franks office looking depressed, with dark circles under his eyes + text from user hopeful-melancholy that reads "well, well, well, if it isn't the feelings I've been trying to avoid"

Image 6: Close up of Eddie (right frame) smiling fondly at Buck (back of head visible left frame) + text from user jaquesmes that reads "Big huge fan of of the way people eyes soften when looking at people they love it's like they can't help but let their guards down and open their hearts up"

/end ID]

Something invisible something string something something.

[ixioideae-letters]

i wonder if desire sits so ugly on everyone else

Amal El-Mohtar // Sarah Hartslief // Alia El-Bermani //  CJ Hauser //  Jack Vettriano // S. K. Osborn // Anaïs Nin // Karl Bryullov //  Sarah Kane // Neck Deep //  Vincent Giarrano //  @kvetchkween

[lilbirdblu]

c!tntduo from c!wilbur’s pov | dsmp web weaves

kvetchkween (twt) | the front bottoms | sylvie baumgartel | oscar wilde | tom lehrer | ? | avainblue | ludo | rainer maria rilke | richard siken 

[trinityalps]

@hungerandthirst​ - the amazing devil - carry on, rainbow rowell - florence and the machine - @kvetchkween twitter 

[hafermensch]

[ID: a tweet by rochelle rochelle (@/kvetchkween) reading: to me yearn always sounds too delicate. whatever i go through is much more disgusting /End ID]

truer words...

[promethes]

[ID: a tweet by @/kvetchkween that reads “to me yearn always sounds too delicate. whatever i go through is much more disgusting” END ID]

[tmorioka]

Favorite tweets

oh so someone could have slapped ricky gervais this whole time

— roche (@kvetchkween) Mar 28, 2022

from http://twitter.com/kvetchkween via IFTTT

[happyk44]

[ID: 1. Tumblr post from deactivated user @/unheimlichemaneuver: Sometimes you think a man is gay but it turns out he is just nice. Sometimes you think a man is nice but he's actually just wearing glasses. It's complicated

2. Text reading: My fvourite conspiracy theory is that my father figures will apologize to me someday

3. Google search reading, "How many days can you go without s"

Search results read, "As of 1.13, not sleeping for more than three days will result in the spawing of Phantoms at night. Phantoms are airborne hellspawn that exist solely to ruin your life. They will swoop in and slap you, quickly ascending back up to a safe elevation. The longer you go without sleep, the more that will spawn each night".

The website the results come from is "apexminecrafthosting.com", article titled "How to Make a Bed in Minecraft"

4. Picture of a red lotus flower floating on the water, with the text "KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME." above it in all caps. Small text reads, "Trent Reznor" beneath the flower.

5. Text reading, "no it doesn't bother me... it simply just eats me away at my will to live and destroys every ounce of my being... why would it bother me". Beneath the text is an emoji with a realistic face.

6. Edit of the "The Hero's Journey" cycle where most of the text has been replaced with the words "Killing myself". At the top of the circle is a silhouette of a person with a backpack and walking stick. The first point is "killing myself", the second point is "killing myself", the third point is "killing myself", the fourth point is "killing myself", the fifth point is "REVELATION. Abyss: death & rebirth", the sixth point is "killing myself", the seventh point "killing myself", and the final point back to the silhouette at the top of the cycle is "killing myself".

7. A green landscape with a bright blue sky and a single tree to the left of the plains. A bright rainbow arcs across the sky. Text at the bottom reads, "How I see the world after I disappear from everyone's life."

8. Tweet from rochelle rochelle @/kvetchkween: to me yearn always sound too delicate. whatever i go through is much more disgusting

9. Text reading: Most people don't even try to get what they want because of the painful reckoning with their parents it entails.

10. Text reading, "When the pain is unbearable [wide-eyed emoji]". Beneath the text is an emoji with dot eyes and a blank smile. /end ID]

Terrible Yukio moodboard found in my drafts