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angelwings-crossbowstrings · 2 years ago

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Is It Easier for You to Say You Never Loved Me Anyway?

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Setting: Commonwealth (Pre- France)

Warnings: Typical TWD violence and gore; Angst; Poorly Written Smut

Summary: “We were built to fall apart and fall back together.” - Taylor Swift

A/N: Requested by @unhingedbiatch I hope this is what you were envisioning! Also, Leah never happened. Nope.

*gif is not mine

It was two days before he was set to leave when he saw you walk through the gates of the Commonwealth. His heart roared, stomach flipping at the sight of you after so many years. He knew he couldn’t approach you until you had been processed into the community, encouraging him to find Mercer and put a word in to speed things up. He had to see you.

Your relationship began as reluctant friends during the time at the quarry but blossomed into so much more by the time your eyes fell onto the prison. When your family found Alexandria, he was your everything. And you were his. The openness between you was never guarded, a secret garden where you each could travel when the world threatened to tear you down.

But as they say, nothing lasts forever.

The two of you separated after Rick’s death, Daryl unable to live with himself if he didn’t put everything into finding a body to lay to rest; you unable to remain in Alexandria under the knowledge that he was leaving you and had refused your offer to come along. He had broken your heart but you loved him no less for it.

Now Daryl waited for you, a nervous energy culminating inside him. He still loved you. He had never stopped. He felt as if you had taken half his heart with you when you left for your own travels, never knowing where that precious piece of him had been taken or if you’d thrown it away once you realized that he was never good enough to trust with half of your own.

When you walked out of the processing center a day later, he was there, having waited all night. When your eyes met his, they softened, your arms open before you could even reach him for the embrace both of you had yearned to return to during an absence you couldn’t take back.

“I missed ya.” Daryl whispered into your hair, his voice a rasp. You held him tighter with a feeling of both your hearts becoming whole in the safety of one another’s arms.

“I missed you too.”

It was as if you’d never left.

Daryl showed you around, smiles abundant and given freely without a care of who saw him; a change you wished you’d been around to see manifest. Maybe you were seeing its birth, your unexpected return being the catalyst that gave him enough security for others to see him as you always had.

You reunited with Carol and Judith, while meeting RJ for the first time. He filled you in on losses Aaron hadn’t already told you about. Promised you’d have plenty of time to catch up with everyone after the next day. You didn’t know then what that had meant.

It wasn’t until later that night, you on his lap and curled into his chest while he stroked your hair, that the demons hovering unseen while the sun had lit the path outside clawed their way into the space between you.

“Where’d ya go?”

“West. Stayed a while in Missouri, then headed southeast. Tennessee was a train wreck but there were some good people there.” You drew your knees a little closer to your chest, making yourself appear smaller against him. “Did you find him?” Daryl dropped his gaze and shook his head. The knowledge that he had left you for something he had failed to achieve was almost too much to bear.

“Did ya—did ya find someone out there?” He muttered, not yet finding the courage to look you in the eye.

“No.” You leaned back your head to find him staring off the side. You knew that look. You knew him like the back of your hand. With a fingertip against the far side of his face, you encouraged him to turn toward you. “I wasn’t out there looking for a replacement for you, Daryl.” He dipped his chin in a quick nod. “Did you? Find someone, I mean?

“Nah.” You couldn’t lie: you felt like you had been holding your breath in wait for that single answer. “Weren’t lookin’ neither.” The smile you gave him was tender and reassuring, your fingertip still brushing his cheek. You had even missed the rough feel of the stubble he always seemed to keep. “M’leavin’ tomorrow.”

Your ministrations ceased. “What?”

“Maggie. She had some info; some leads for me ta follow.” The contrition you could hear in his tone was almost enough to stave off your anger. “S’somethin’ I hafta do.”

“Just like you had to leave me last time?” You swung your legs around to stand up. “Let me go with you this time.”

He was already shaking his head. “Don’t know what’s out there. You’re safer here.”

“That’s the same bullshit you fed me last time, Daryl.” You were fuming now, pacing the area in front of him while he wouldn’t even meet your eyes. “I’ve been out there! I’m not staying behind again!”

“Y/N—”

“No! I had no say in this last time and it’s kept us apart for too long. I won’t do it again! Do you hear me? I won’t!”

“Didn’t know ya were gonna be here. Didn’t know ya even knew where to find me.”

“Aaron told me. I went to Alexandria first.” You knelt in front of him, ducking your head to urge him to look at you. “Please, Daryl. Please don’t do this to me again.”

“M’sorry.” He whispered.

You remained there, staring at him in disbelief. You had just found one another only to be separated again. Using his knees to shove yourself to your feet, you grabbed your coat and the key to your temporary apartment. The door hit the wall from the force of you throwing it open.

“Fuck you, Daryl.” You hissed. You didn’t bother closing the door, leaving him alone to listen to your retreating footfalls move further and further away.

Late evening saw Daryl packing the last of the things he would be taking with him. He knew he wouldn’t sleep, so he allowed himself several breaks. He was leaning against the kitchen counter chastising himself for not following earlier when there came a soft knock on his door. He had no reluctance to answer and found you standing on the other side.

“Hey.” You attempted a smile that didn’t quite manage to form. “Can I come in?”

“O’course.” Daryl opened the door a little wider and stood back to allow you to pass him, closing it behind you. He wasn’t sure how to approach you or why you had come back in the first place. “Y/N, I—”

You held up a hand to request his silence. “I know you’re not going to let me go. And I know why. I won’t claim to understand it, but I have no choice but to respect it.” You watched his head drop, not in relief but guilt, despair. He just knew he was losing you again. It didn’t take long for you to cross the minuscule space that separated you from him. “I’ll wait for you this time. Here, in this apartment. I’ll wait.”

Those perfect blue eyes were wide with hope when he lifted his head; they searched you for any indication of a lie. When he found none, he nodded curtly. “Be nice to have ya here, knowin’ you’re waitin’ an’ mad at myself for makin’ ya.”

“Good.” You mused, stroking a stubbled cheek with your knuckles. When you kissed him, he froze, body rigid. You knew him well enough to press onward, your knowledge rewarded when he settled and his arms wound around you. Fingers found their way into your hair while the other hand drew you closer from the small of your back. You were breathless when you pulled back, rubbing your cheek against his. “I’ve missed that.” Daryl hummed, allowing you a brief reprieve before his mouth was on yours again.

He walked you back toward the couch until the bend of your knees hit and you unceremoniously fell onto the cushions. Daryl followed your descent, chasing your lips. Palms on his chest, you pushed him back to shed your coat, your shirt following as he pulled his own over his head. As he worked his belt buckle open, you grazed your fingertips over the scars you knew by heart. Each ridge, each pucker, all a part of him.

When he began to push his jeans toward the floor, underwear in tow, you sat back and raised your hips to rid yourself of your own, leaving your lower half bare, only a plain black bra shielding the last bit of skin. His hands were on your ribs, pulling you onto his lap while he simultaneously seated himself. He couldn’t stifle the groan when he felt the heat of your core over his erection, a feeling he had missed and never sought from anyone else.

When you reached behind you to work open the clasp of your bra, the feeling of his fingertips on your sternum gave you pause. A new scar began in the valley of your breasts and stretched to your collarbone. It was left unspoken where you received it; a story for another time. You guided his hand to your lips, kissing the tip of each finger before drawing the middle digit past your lips. You hummed and swirled your tongue around the skin while shrugging off your bra.

Daryl’s mouth was on you in an instant, his hand falling away from your lips when they parted with a drawn out moan. He licked the curve of each breast with practiced expertise, suckling at each nipple while your hands fisted into his mane; gentle tugs urging him onward.

You began to ache for him in a fresh rush of heat. His hips jerked upward, jostling a needy whine from you. “Please.” You whispered, guiding him away from your chest to slot your mouth over his, chaste but hard. You kept your lips close, brushing his while you rubbed your noses together to maintain that contact. “I've waited long enough.”

The archer made a sound in the back of his throat, a growl that vibrated all the way down to where your heat slid over his cock. He need not release his bruising hold on the soft skin of your hips. He simply lifted you, shifted until the tip of him caught on your entrance and lowered you onto him. You remembered the stretch instantly, how your body always willingly molded around him. You were made for him, just as he was made for you.

He panted against your lips, no doubt in restraint. It had been so long, he was shocked he didn’t spill inside you before you were fully seated. You, though; you were just grateful to feel him. You were both back where you belonged, however brief it may be.

You moved first, a gentle rocking that made him hiss between his teeth. You didn’t stop, even feeling him begin to twitch within you. You feared how soon it would be over yet how you yearned to watch him fall apart. Daryl, on the other hand, was not willing for things to end so quickly. He worked his hand to where the two of you were joined and squeezed the bottom of his shaft.

“Cheater.” You pouted, shivering when he chuckled against your neck. You felt his hand slide away, slick and warm, fingers wet when he pressed them into your hip again. He helped you sit higher on your knees only to drag you down, his hips thrusting up to meet you. The push and pull of him inside you, had your head falling back in a series of ah ah ah.

He suckled a bruise onto one breast sliding his tongue over to the pebbled nipple, grazing his teeth against the sensitive bud, pulling sound after sound from you while he helped you bounce on his lap.

“I missed you.” Distantly, you knew there were tears and your cheeks were damp, a sudden melancholy blending and twisting its way into the pleasure he was eager to give you. You dropped your head forward, smiling wetly when you spotted the moisture shining in his blue eyes as well. The kiss was hard, sloppy, full of need; it was a trade-off of years of absence and love and longing.

His movements had slowed, calloused hands guiding you in a slow rolling atop of him. “Missed ya too.” His voice cracked, try as he might to keep his composure. It seemed wrong to feel the heat in your belly. Such a moment should be savored. You wanted to stop, keep him there inside you past the morning, never letting him climb on that bike.

Your body disagreed, slowly but surely barreling you toward that precipice. You whined, burying your face into the crook of his neck. He wouldn’t allow your hips to stop moving, urging you toward release.

“Wait.” He whispered, so soft yet with an intensity like you’d never heard from him before.

“I—can’t. I’m so close, Daryl. I need—”

He gripped your flesh, bringing you to a halt, willing you to look at him. When you did, the naked plea in his gaze took your breath away, extinguishing the steady build of pleasure to an ache that would never again be sated until he returned you.

“Wait for me. Please.”

You nodded, drawing him against you to openly sob against his hair. “I will. I promise.” You held him there, the quiet shake of his shoulders against you; the hot moisture dripping onto your skin while your own tears fell into his hair.

Why did you choose to return now? Why couldn’t you have come back years ago? He had been back from his isolation for so long, fighting and protecting all the people you loved and he had done it all without you. Because you were selfish. You followed your wounded pride as far away from him as you could. And when you came back, expecting he had moved on, actually hoping he had, he was waiting for you.

And now you would watch him leave you again. On a mission that was not his to undertake. You would never be able to talk him out of it. Daryl had this drive, this desire to protect. He felt like he owed everyone to ensure their happiness. This was for Judith and RJ. They deserved their family to be whole. Daryl had raised those kids in your absence, the role of surrogate father taken on willingly. Now he would try to return to them what they had been missing.

And you knew you couldn’t sway him.

So you cried. He cried. And when your tears ran dry, still on his lap with him softening inside of you, you pulled back and cupped his face, red-rimmed blue eyes seeking comfort and reassurance. You smiled, a genuine small upturn of your lips, and kissed him.

“I’ll wait forever if that’s what it takes. You just come back to me, Daryl Dixon.”

With a sharp inhale, he nodded while whispering his knuckles across your jaw. He was committing you to memory. Every freckle, every scar, the twinkle in your eyes, every line, every curve. He’d take it all with him.

You didn’t even react when he lifted you and gently placed you on your back, slipping out of you in the process. It took three strokes to bring him back to hardness. He guided himself to your entrance and thrust inside in one fluid motion, dragging a moan from you with you arching into his chest.

There was only desperation now, each hard thrust begging you to fall apart. And you would oblige. The way he slammed into you, his tip angled to probe that spot inside of you, had you clawing for purchase on his back, his shoulders, his arms.

“Daryl—oh my god, Daryl—I’m gonna—”

“Please.” He whispered against your ear. You were a goner. The pleasure was so intense that your eyes rolled back, vision alight with stars and shapes as your body vibrated to ride each wave. When you began to come down, you were thankful. His thrusts were prolonging your orgasm, a gentle thrum of pleasure that kept going and going as he chased his high. With teeth clenched, he pulled from within you just in time to paint your belly with warm ropes. He groaned above you, body trembling with the struggle of holding himself up as he spilled. He was left a panting mess of tremors that somehow found the strength to pull away from you.

He reached for his discarded shirt to gently clean you, having absolutely no intention of allowing you away from him to take care of the mess yourself. The task complete, he tossed the article to who knows where and sat back, pulling you onto his lap. There was a mutual hum of contentment as you melted into him.

“I promise I’ll wait.”

Watching him ride away was probably the hardest thing you had ever done in your life. The last time had been filled with anger and a deep jab of betrayal. This time was different. You had conceded to watch this, made a promise to be there when he came back.

He had held you, whispering in your ear while he smiled. It brought tears to your eyes. You nodded vigorously while he kissed you, laughing against his mouth.

And then he was gone in a cloud of dust and the roar of an engine.

But you would wait.

You promised.

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sleepingdeath-light · 5 months ago

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love language hcs ; lu guang & cheng xiaoshi

requested by ; nobody / self indulgent

fandom(s) ; link click

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; cheng xiaoshi, lu guang

outline ; “hcs for how lu and cheng show their love”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

cheng xiaoshi

trust

trust and honesty are two things that cheng values above just about anything else, meaning that for your relationship to work he needs to know he can rely on you and, likewise, he needs you to know that you can rely on him — and that includes him telling you about the nature of his ability and how he’s able to do his job, which wasn’t the easiest conversation to have

likewise, he’ll be deeply appreciative of anything you do that shows an immense level of trust in him — whether that means telling him things about yourself you’ve never told anyone else, or trusting his judgement enough to do what he asks without any questions other than whether he’ll be alright (especially if he asks you to, say, run as fast as possible away from a threat)

playfulness

being a (loving) menace to those around him is basically his default state of being and you, as his loving partner, get to experience the full extent of his playful side — including lighthearted pranks, the corniest jokes and silliest pet names you will ever hear in your life, surprise visits, spontaneous dates, and random comments about the strange people you see out and about that you have to physically force yourself not to laugh at

and if you happen to match his energy in this? oh he’ll be in heaven (lu, not so much though…)

physical touch

cheng is a pretty tactile person in general with those he cares about, but with you he goes from a solid eight to a ten — like when he’s not hugging you or pulling you down to sit on his lap, he’s resting his hand on your thigh/hip/waist/shoulder and leaning over every so often to peck your lips/cheek/temple (lu is sick of the both of you, honestly)

and when you combine that with his energetic and playful nature you’re sure to end up in plenty of situations that will leave you laughing and grinning until your cheeks and sides hurt — such as tickle fights, kiss attacks, and him picking you up and carrying you around as you laugh and flail and try to free yourself

words of affirmation

nothing beats being showered in praise by the love of your life after a job well done (or just because they happen to feel like it) and cheng could easily spend the whole day laid in your lap being pampered with your touch and told how loved he is, how pretty he is, and how well he did at work today — that’s his own little slice of heaven right there!

and rest assured that he gives as good as he gets — this man leaves you no room to doubt how much he loves you because he tells you it constantly (whether that be through compliments and praise or through outright declarations said far more casually than they’re meant)

lu guang

white lies

if lu guang loves you then his first instinct is always going to be to protect you — to protect you physically (e.g. taking a bullet for you), to protect your reputation (e.g. by dispelling rumours that are being spread), and to protect your peace and mental wellbeing, the latter of the three often resulting in him telling little white lies in order to protect you from something or another (the dangers of his job, the truth about what happened to someone, etc.)

he’s not doing it to be malicious, honest, he just doesn’t want you to suffer with the same knowledge he has and wants you to be able to live as normal and as peaceful of a life as possible

quality time

while his work does tend to keep him quite busy, lu always does his best to set aside some time in the day where the two of you can be together in one way or another — sometimes that couple time is limited to a phone call at the end of the day, and occasionally it can mean actually getting the chance to spend a whole day together (usually over the weekend when neither of you have any work to do), but more often than not he’s only able to fit in a few hours throughout the day where the two of you can be alone, which, naturally, you both try to make the most of

acts of service

while he absolutely does what he can to take care of you, this love language is one that is much more impactful for him when he’s on the receiving end of it — and it’s clear as day how much it puts him at ease when you’re there to help, even if he’s too busy or exhausted to thank you properly

having you there to take care of him when he’s sick or injured without complaint or hesitation, having someone that’s willing to look out for him and the people he loves, having someone put in the effort to know him and meet him half way, having someone who wants to take care of him as much as he wants to take care of them… there’s nothing on earth better than that, in his eyes

trust

knowing that you trust his judgement and believe that he’s doing what he does to keep you safe is so very important to lu guang that it cannot be overstated — especially when it comes to the more dangerous aspects of his job, he needs you to trust his calls and act accordingly (e.g. to go and find shelter the second he tells you to hide, or to set off running the moment he says the word)

likewise, if he’s in a relationship with you it means that he trusts you immensely and won’t ever doubt your judgement unless you’re noticeably impaired at the time (e.g. intoxicated, sleep deprived, etc.) — i.e. if you tell him to run he’ll run, if you tell him that he has nothing to be jealous about then he’ll believe you, and if you ask him not to take someone on as a client then he’ll turn that person away, and so on

#sleepingdeath #gender neutral reader #fluff #fluff hcs #link click fluff #link click x reader #cheng xiaoshi x reader #cheng xiaoshi fluff #lu guang x reader #lu guang fluff

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destinysbounty · 2 years ago

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There's a scene in the first episode of season 1 suggesting that as of the start of canon, the Serpentine have faded into nothing more than myth. Naturally, this has led a lot of the fandom to question how this could be possible since the Serpentine War only happened ~40-50 years ago. There are plenty of still-living people in Ninjago who were present for this war - hell, even Ed and Edna were probably alive during the war. How could the existence of the Serpentine, a race that has been around and at conflict with the humans for over a thousand years, suddenly blink out of public awareness in just 40 years?

After some consideration, I think I've come to a pretty simple answer, if you'll indulge me as I overanalyze the silly lego show once again.

In order to understand the situation, let's take a look at the scene in question one more time.

The key thing to note here is that out of the four, Kai is the only one who doubts the existence of the Serpentine. Jay, Cole, and Zane all treat the subject with a heavy amount of importance and trepidation (and a bit of fear). Zane even explicitly insists that they're real. In fact, correct me if I'm wrong but Kai is perhaps the only character in the entire show that we've seen expressing this kind of doubt about the Serpentine.

In my opinion, this means the Serpentine aren't just a myth and are instead a known part of Ninjago's history, and the belief that the Serpentine are a myth is a belief exclusive to Kai and Kai alone. Which...honestly feels pretty in-character for him, ngl.

(Why, then, are the Serpentine taught in schools but the ninja all somehow didn't know about the existence of other elemental masters? Great question! Unfortunately I cannot explain that without going on a long and rambling dissertation-length essay, and I don't have the brainpower to write all that. Long story short? Ninjago's education system is in fucking SHAMBLES and we shouldn't be surprised about any gaps in anyone's knowledge.)

#rationalizing plot holes is really fun actually!#maybe one day ill make an ask game where people can send in their plot holes/inconsistencies and ill find rational lore reasons for them #ninjago #destiny post

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circeyoru · 1 year ago

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Unwanted Soul _ Part 9 = Requested

[Yandere!Alastor x Owner of his Soul!Reader]

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 2.5 (ask) — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5 — Part 6 — Part 7 — Part 8 — Part 9 (here)

The days when you worked for Lucifer were dull and boring, you saw nothing to gain even though you’re the one doing all the information searching and collecting. You went belong Lucifer’s expectation when you said you’ll infiltrate and plant yourself close to the source so that the information collected was reliable

Lucifer told you directly that he expected for you to just listen and gather what rumors were around and tell him, or what information was available then you report to Lucifer in a neat pile. Never did he think you’ll go above and beyond, considering your mood and status of wanting to get yourself a second death

Well, you didn’t really mind it all. Back when you were writing your novel, you had a ton of characters, each with different backgrounds and personality. You tried just researching online to get the information, but there wasn’t that feeling when you were writing them. You needed to get the feel of it. So you actually tried out part-time jobs from all over the place to get it

Turns out it worked since even a copy of the novel got such fame and wealth…

Now, you realized you didn’t need to create something for you to know what you have. With your new power, you seem to have something akin to photographic memory to the point you’ll be able to keep what you see and know like a compute file system. Very convenient and steal-proof

Your main target happened to be Vox, the TV Demon and an Overlord that is acquainted and in alliance with another two Overlords Velvette and Valentino. Lucifer requires newer information of the modern Overlords, so you went to the V Tower to sneak within their ranks

That was before your charm abilities from your pages developed to what you have today, so Lucifer gave you an entirely new look and some common powers so you didn’t make an impression on Vox or the other two Overlords

It was through Vox that you learned of Alastor as well. While you never saw him, you heard plenty from Vox to know they weren’t overly fond of the other. Alastor seem to tolerate Vox and didn’t even see Vox as a treat since it was all so childish from on outlooker’s perspective

But what you learned from within was even worse. Vox was controlling, very controlling. He not only hypnotizes the customer and reporters to boost his fame and gain loyalty, he treats his employee the same and than some. His people were treated as slaves, dehumanized, and worse than animals. All for Vox’s entertainment

“Don’t.” You firmly declined, “Let’s just get on with it.”

“Wow, you’re really into all that redemption thing? Goody-two-shoes huh.” Vox smirked condescending, “Can I get your name or?”

You glared, feeling the shadows riled up by the second, you back up away from Vox. “No. This is strictly business. I hope we don’t see each other after this.”

“Hot and feisty. I like that in a demon. Let’s see how you’re at persuasion.” He turned to the lift and gestures for you to follow him. “Well, come on then, representative.”

Throughout the entire time Vox was bringing you to the ‘meeting room’, he had been so annoying with his small talk. There were a few times he tried hypnotizing you already but you acted like nothing happened, it was fun to see him try

You declined any drinks and food he offered, he set them on the coffee table between the two couches you two were sitting on. This setting was quite perfect for him to try a more direct hypnotizes, even if you were to accuse him of so, he can say it was a glitch in the system or it’s just his screen acting up

Everything was set to give himself the advantage he needs and wants

As expected the only thing he had against the hotel and Charlie was the fact that his merchandise were all destroyed without his knowledge. Though he even come clean as to why he would be aware of they were gone or not, he lied and said it was to ensure his services were top-notch and that he could send his employees to repair or replace them with new ones

Why he was doing this was to show his appreciation to the epic battle Charlie and the hotel put up. To defend all of Hell and the other sinners even when no one asked, to give everyone hope that there was good in this hellhole. It moved Vox’s metallic heart beyond words

Such flattery. You know information that Vox tried to watch the battle, you panicked when you wonder if Vox saw your powers when you defended and saved Alastor. It doesn’t seem like he knows by the annoyance and degree he went to ensure the hotel was under surveillance. He’s finding that one demon that interrupted his show. He’s looking for you

To compensate, the hotel is to either send someone to work for Vox, of course without a soul contract but a business deal only, or give them Angel. What it means was that Angel was to stay at the V Tower for as long as it take for him to individually produce all the cost of the materials used to make the devices Vox installed in the hotel

It was basically a contract that would ensure that Angel doesn’t get redeemed, stays under the Vees’ or rather Valentino’s hold, and continues to bring profit or even more to the three Overlords. You heard that Angel’s boss was Valentino, you also heard about the little stunt Angel did to his boss outside of the studio. Valentino sworn revenge. This was it

When you weren’t agreeing immediately, you were in for a shock when Valentino and Angel appeared through the doors. They took a seat in the couch between yours and Vox’s, Angel forcefully gapped between Vox and Valentino so that if anything happened, they’d have a hostage. Because unlike them, the hotel and its people are oh so very kind

“Angel here volunteers to work on top of our contract on this little mishap.” Valentino grinned, playing with his pipe as he released a puff of red smoke. “Angel came all on his own too.”

“Then why isn’t he speaking on his own?” You challenged, it’d take a blind person to ignore the nervousness and uneasiness Angel was displaying. From what you observed, Angel truly likes it at the hotel. He wouldn’t willingly leave it and everyone. “Why are you speaking in his place?”

Vox raised a hand, answering as if it was all rehearsed. “Val is Angel’s boss, so it only makes sense he speaks on Angel’s behalf on something so important.”

Your eyes narrowed, “You got it backwards. On matters as important as this, the one directly involved should be the one talking.” You glared at Valentino, “Not to be spoken on behalf by.”

Vox laughed, “You forget. You’re at our mercy now, we don’t need to care for your wants.” He got up and strolled over to you, “You know, you’re quite talented. We could use someone like you here. If you agree to take Angel’s place, then Angel can go free from this deal. I’m sure with your talent, you can make up that number in no time.”

“That wasn’t what you offered.” You hissed, you could feel Alastor growing rage as well.

“Oh, need more incentive?” Vox smirked.

The moment he said that, the doors opened and revealed Velvette though it was what was dragged behind that caught you off guard. Husk, all beaten up and bantered, was being pulled into the room by some hellhounds that was in servitude to Velvette, or maybe the Vees.

Velvette gave a cunning grin, “You called?”

This was obviously a bad situation. Two hostages and three Overlords, one of them were in the worse pairing possible as well. This was all a trap

There was a high possibility that Angel didn’t want to answer Valentino’s calls and was dragged to the V Tower where he’s be powerless. Husk most possibly saw what happened and tried to stop it since you were going to the same place later on

In the end, two were caught and used as leverage to convince you into servitude of Vox. Maybe you shouldn’t have came, but you didn’t want them to get hypnotized again and this was their domain so Vox holds more power here

You’ll admit, you’re cornered. Do you call for Alastor? But Alastor couldn’t care less about Angel or Husk went you were on the line. He’d even agree with the deal Vox offered just because you would be out of harm’s way. You just know Alastor will do that. While he cares for your decision, but when it was your time away from him on the line, he’ll do anything to keep you within his hold

In that case, you’re left with one option

“You want compensation for your broken devices, yeah, I can handle it. But I will not be working here.” You spoke firmly, “The hotel has a 16 floors, each floor has around 10 rooms, each room has a VoxTech TV and a pair of speakers that were installed, in total that’s 160 TVs and 320 speakers. The lobby has a large screen made of 6 TVs and 8 pairs of speakers to provide high quality sound transperance, the top floor has a cinema that is made with 10 TVs and 10 pairs of speakers aligning the walls.”

As you were listing, everyone was surprised with how well you knew everything. Especially Angel and Husk since you were rarely out of your room or around. How you knew all this was a mystery to them.

“So in total, you require the compensation of 176 TVs and 356 speakers. I can provide all of them back to you in the newest condition, but I will not be working here.” You concluded.

“Wow, crazy math, but how can we be sure you can give us high quality goods?” Vox questioned, “We can’t trust that you’ll leave us high and dry after we agree. You can even give us cheap knockouts like some copycat off the streets.”

You opened your hand, “Give me something, anything.”

The Vees all looked at each other, then Valentino passed a gun of his to you. They eyed you suspicously while you plainly inspected the object, Angel and Husk watched in confusion of what you were doing

You ignored all the stared. This was your last result. You’ll show them your power and ability with a page, they wouldn’t know how you did it and they wouldn’t be able to control you since you have Alastor’s protection and you could always put Lucifer on the table. They wouldn’t dare touch a servant of the King of Hell

Your fingers brushed through the curves and texture, feeling where the edges were and how they felt. Then you began taking it apart. Vox kept Valentino in place when you began, Vox keeping an extra close eye on what you were doing. You laid out the parts in front of you, then you inspected each part like how you did to the gun as a whole

When you were done, you reassembled it all. You quickly aimed a shot into the wall behind you so they wouldn’t say you attempted assassination to add compensation. You got the gist of what was used to make it and how it was made. You remember the parts and you remember how to assemble and take it apart. The conditions are set. You can do it

You moved away your oversized coat and took out your book, writing the words ‘Valentino’s gun’ on the page before tearing it out and blew on it. Then in your hand appeared the exact same. You gave to Valentino to inspect them

He was surprised his gun was replicated to perfection. He didn’t mean to say it since he was shocked and covered his mouth

That’s all you need to hear. You took Angel and Husk to your side, telling Vox, without giving him the room to deject your offer. You will reproduce those TVs and speakers, Vox just need to wait patiently and you can have it done within a few days. Someone will come delivery them. End of story

“It’s you! Hahahaha! So it’s you all along!” Vox laughed, falling back down into the couch, “You win this! So you’re not bad at persuasion too.” He grinned, “Now I really like you.”

“Well, I still don’t like you.” You snarled.

“Playing hard to get, huh.” He waved his hand, “Sure, I’ll wait and see. If it’s not delivered in time, I’ll expect you to work for me.”

As quickly as you came to the bright studio that blinds your eyes, you left with Angel and Husk hand in hand just in case they tried something. The moment you were out of the building, Alastor reappeared and hugged the living daylights out of you, you returned the hug, melting into his hold

It was such a scary experience, but you know you got through it because Alastor was watching and listening all that time to support you

Alastor sent Husk and Angel back through the shadows to retell the message of a smooth negotiation and nothing else. They were to have the cover story of meeting you and Alastor on the way back and to pass the message along while the two of you enjoyed a stroll for the hardwork. Needless to say they agreed easily to that plan

You walked with Alastor arm in arm, leaning against him for a more physical support. You closed your eyes to rest a bit since it was way too bright in the studio and you trust Alastor enough to lead you on the right and safe path

Being the radio host he is, he talked and talked about anything and everything he could to fill the silence and give you the perfect voice to listen to. At the sight of Alastor, a number of demons left the area and stayed clear of him

Everything was very peaceful, just you and him strolling down the streets. It reminded the two of you during those days when you both were in your home area. You’d sometimes want to just stretch your legs and walk around. Alastor would accompany you to keep you safe

In the beginning, it was just you and your music while Alastor was busy with whatever bloody methods to keep the demons’ eyes off of you. Then you and Alastor made small talk so Alastor’s attention wasn’t on destroying some poor demon that was minding their own business. Turns out, that was one of moments that got you to see another side of Alastor

You smiled as you hugged onto Alastor’s arm, you felt Alastor’s miniature jerk before he relaxed again. You really wanted to tickle him, but you’ll save it for when you two are back behind closed doors to have more fun

“You! You in the giant stupid coat! Stop!” A voice shouted behind you and Alastor.

Alastor looked down to you, you nodded as you opened your eyes again. Alastor turned around, shielding you from the unknown demon’s sight. “What is it that you need from us?”

“I’m not talking to you, f**ker!” The demon exclaimed at Alastor, “Move aside or else.”

“Else?” Alastor’s head tilted to the side with his smile growing to a threatening grin, “Quite bold of you to assume you have a chance here.”

You peeked from behind Alastor, this demon was unfamiliar to you, not someone you messed with nor did you gather information on them for anything in discriminating. You wonder if you should let Alastor have at her since you already dealt with Vox today. But something bugged you with how desperate she was acting, very familiar. So you stepped out, “What is it?”

Her eyes seemingly light up and came over to you, gripping onto your shoulders tightly with that crazed look in her eyes. “You’re the one he wants. It was never me. Whatever he wants with you has nothing to do with me. It was all a lie. The contract, the flattery, the money, everything!”

“Huh?” You glanced over to Alastor with confusion, Alastor didn’t return the sentiment as he looked ready to rip the demon apart. “Uh, what do you mean?”

“I saw your powers over the pages, you’re the one he wants! I don’t know how we have similar powers, but yours is much more superior. Trade places with me, I’m begging! I can’t work for Vox!”

You backed up and slapped away her hands, retreating back to Alastor’s side. “Similar powers?”

You wondered if it was her, that friend of yours. You watched she continued to rant on about the benefits of working for Vox like she prepared to pitch it to a customer. This desperate plead was like her asking (demanding) that you continue writing that novel she stole so she can go publish it in her name

Do it in the name of friendship, she said. It started small, she asked for some tips to writing, it moved to asking for character reference sheets, then ideas on a sequel, last was your help to write the entire thing

She knew you have written it beforehand, she was aiming for that in the beginning. Again, she stole it while you were distracted with setting up a sleepover for her. You remember that empty look you had when you saw the barely closed front door, the pillow you were hugging fell from your grasp

The next week or so, the sequel to her (your) novel was out. Millions and billions of people flooded the bookshops, mass sell out signs for that book was taped to the display for the novel. She came back and praised you for a job well done, you hanged out with you and shared so much with you

All that time, you smiled and enjoyed the peace. Anything to help a friend, you innocently spoke. After all, she was there for you when you broke up with your boyfriend. She was your closest friend, things like these happen. See? She’s back at your side

She appeared on TV, she appeared on podcast, she appeared in interviews, she appeared in best selling author signing sessions, she appeared as a professor to teach young aspiring writers. She was everywhere. That was because the novel was everywhere, it was adatped into movies, TV shows, cartoon series, it has audiobooks and was references in a number of places

People loved your work. You were content with that. It was fine. As long as your friend is by your side. You can take it all. Yet you can’t help it when tears flow down your face in the dead of night. You hugged your pillow so tightly

It was all supposed to be yours, yet it wasn’t… You gave it all up to someone that’s not worthy of it

“See?” She threw a bunch of papers into the air from her side bag, with a snap of her fingers, the pages turned into paper daggers and flew around her at command. “If you can summon things, then you’re a such better fit! Please, come back with me to the V Tower and take my place.”

“Shut up.” You spoke, your hands unconsciously gripped onto Alastor’s wrist tightly that it could have snapped. Reacting to your obvious hatred, Alastor snapped his fingers and fires burn down the pages that she was so proud of. “Ha, I can’t believe you haven’t changed.”

She raised a brow, “What?”

You sighed, “Karolina, so you died, huh. Did you have a good life? Must be good as the famous author, right?”

Kat’s eyes widened, now it was her turn to back up, “No way… You can’t be serious…”

“Dearest, do you know her?” Alastor inquired with a cute head tilt, his ears moving along.

“Yeah, I know her.” You smiled, you know what will happen after your words because you know Alastor, “Meet Karoline, my former best friend while I was alive, but most importantly… The one that stole my precious writing.”

Note: Another one~ There's one more part to this and the involvement of Kat arc is done. I think I might end this series after that. The unanswered questions could be counted as trivia or extra mini moments. Cause I feel like this series is getting a bit too long. What do you guys think?

Circe Y.

My Works: MASTERLIST

Taglist: (those that don't specify to being in all the works' taglist will automatically be assumed to be in whichever series they comment on)

@aconfusedwonderland @crowleysthings @donustellaron @mistpurpl3 @lucifers-silhouette @fluffy-koalala @nevermore-ramblings @justboredforreal @youroneandonlysimp @falsemain @scenteddelusion5 @anni1600 @readergirlstuff @salutations-demonsanddappers @mistpurpl3 @haruskrd @biadoll21 @speedycoffeedelight @wendds @paninibit @emperatris-rinaka @lucifers-silhouette @an-idyllic-novelist @cyannese-rose @type-ink

#Circe's Nighty Writings #Circe's requested writings #alastor imagine #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor #hazbin hotel oneshots #yandere alastor #yandere alastor x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagines #Unwanted Soul

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bloggingboutburgers · 1 year ago

Note

Hey, allo anon with an ace partner here. I wanted to say thank you so much for the well wishes! I figured I would send this in here again, so anyone else who is curious about what this experience looks like from the other side can see it.

My girlfriend came out to me a little over 2 years into our relationship. At the time it surprised me a lot, because she'd never given me any signs that she wasn't enjoying what we were doing. After we talked more I understood that she wasn't repulsed by sex and she didn't hate it, but she didn't really love it either and wanted to stop doing it for a while (so a sex-neutral ace).

Honestly, at the time, I did get anxious about it. Not just because of social conventions, but because I had viewed sex as an important bonding part of our relationship. I don't do well with change, and I was super worried about how a lack of sex would change our dynamic. I also had some insecurities about my own body, and my girlfriend admitting that she didn't see me as sexy was upsetting. But after speaking to my therapist, I realized that I was projecting my own issues on to the relationship. So I spoke with her again, and she reassured me that she wanted to be with me, and that she was confiding these feelings because she trusted me. She likes how I look, she just doesn't have the same sexual impulses I do.

So, I realized this was pretty much like cuddling. I love physical touch a lot, and I want to cuddle for a much longer time than she does. I like it when someone lies on top of me. She doesn't want me on top of her chest during cuddling. She still cuddles with me, but she tells me when she's satisfied, and we stop.

A few months went by, and I noticed that she wasn't spending any less time with me; she was actually spending more. We would still call every evening when we didn't meet up in person, we would still joke around, and she still told me she loved me and did everything she could to show it to me. We also began trying out new stuff together, and playing games and watching stuff more often. We also still had plenty of physical intimacy with things like cuddling and kissing, which made me really happy.

I realized that I didn't feel like anything was missing from the relationship. I just needed her to show and tell me she loved me in the ways she normally did. Sure, I am still attracted to her that way, but it wasn't something that would make or break the relationship.

It's been years since she came out, and at this point, I never expect anything sexual. It happens rarely, and I always check in with her multiple times before and during. We stop at any point she tells me. There are quite a few hard boundaries about what is and isn't off limits, and I always keep them in mind. I would rather satisfy myself forever than make her uncomfortable, and she knows it.

It's been over 5 years and we are still going strong. I am hoping to ask her to marry me in the next few years, because honestly, I can't picture wanting anyone else by my side. She is kind, funny, beautiful, intelligent, and treats me well. I could never ask for anything more from a partner.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. I myself definitely lack knowledge of what it feels like from an allo's perspective, so this was very educational for me, but beyond that... You have no idea how much hope this gives me.

From you being aware of how much sex meant to you in the context of your relationship and still being fine without it, to just... Heck, even your therapist for not blaming her for the situation. Therapy is still very much, in my country at least, an area where the absence or lower levels of sexual attraction will be hastily labelled as something wrong physically or mentally, so... Yeah, the amount of relief I felt reading that, you have no idea. And I can only imagine how much your partner appreciates it too.

Honestly I teared up a bit reading this - I sincerely wish you guys all the best and I hope you have a bright future ahead! (Also fun fact, seems you guys have been together as long as my partner and I have, it's nice to be able to relate to that too hehe^^)

#anon #asexual #ace #allosexual #thank you so much for sharing

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hornyfor-redacted-onmain · 1 year ago

Text

Bamboozled

Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 15 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU

Masterlist | Next Part

The next morning was spent doing errands. You woke up to a few good morning texts that made you smile, and you let them know you were heading out to the store down the street. The street was slightly busy as it was early morning on a weekday, but it wasn’t crowded.

You managed to make it through the store with little to no issues, only slightly panicked when you messed up while thanking the cashier, but thankfully she brushed off the error and wished you a nice day.

Soulmates

Y/N Guess who only slightly embarrassed themselves at the grocery store ^^ Img.png Felix Oh no, what happened? Y/N Tried to say thank you. Accidentally said you’re welcome. Felix ∠ ( ´• ０ •`) 〴 Han Damn, that’s so embarrassing For you For me it’s hilarious Y/N ( ⇀ ╭╮↼ ) Chan Glad you’re back safe Sorry to hear about your embarrassing moment Minho Poor Jagiya RIP your dignity Funeral will be held at 8pm Y/N ( ง •` ⎽ ´• ) ง

You got back to your apartment and began putting things away only an hour after leaving, which left you with plenty of time to sort out all the things you had planned for the day, starting with your assignments for the week.

You received a text as you began to set up your computer and pull out the books you had bought only a week before you got onto the plane, but you forget about them for a few seconds and it isn’t until you get 6 consecutive notifications that you finally pull out your phone.

Changbin Hey, do you mind doing me a favor? Y/N Hmmm, depends on the favor

The other texts you received were a couple photos and selfies sent by Jeongin, and you smiled as you looked through a few of them. Most of them were obviously taken without the members’ knowledge, and you shamelessly saved a few of them and used your favorite selfie as your phone wallpaper.

Changbin Channie-hyung made plans to work later tonight, despite my best efforts to convince him to take a day off. You mind giving it a shot? Y/N What makes you think he’d listen to me? Changbin I figured you could persuade him more effectively. Y/N Hmmm. I might have some ideas in mind. Changbin Oh? Thought about it before, huh? Y/N NOT LIKE THAT! Get your mind out of the gutter! Changbin Kkkkk As long as it gets him to bed before midnight, I don’t care what you do. Y/N ( ￣ ^ ￣ ) ゞ

You then decided to thank Jeongin for the pictures by making yourself a breakfast full of his favorite foods, settling down at your desk while you ate to go through your email before you got started on your homework. You set a timer for 2 hours, working through as much work as you could with a few breaks in between, and pretty soon your alarm went off.

Double checking it was around lunchtime, you sent a quick message.

Y/N Are you busy right now? Chan Hmm, having a quick lunch with the boys. Why? Is everything okay? Y/N Can I call? Want to hear your voice.

Instead of a reply, you received a call from him, which you received with a smile.

“Well, someone was quite eager,” You teased.

“What can I say. I missed you too.”

“You saw me yesterday.”

“Hmm, but that was over 24 hours ago. It’s a long time to be away from my girlfriend.”

You let out a laugh. “Girlfriend? Awfully sure of yourself considering you haven’t actually asked me yet.”

“I haven’t. But a little birdie told me Seungmin already asked for us.”

“Oh?” You began to pace your room. “Doesn’t that technically mean only Seungmin’s my boyfriend?”

“Haven’t you realized sweetheart? We’re a package deal.”

That made you pause, and you were suddenly grateful that this conversation was taking place over the phone and not in person, because it allowed you to ignore your suddenly hot cheeks and act as if you were as confident as you wished you could be.

“Well, in that case, I think I deserve a nice night in with my lovely boyfriend. What do you say, want to hang out tonight?”

There was a pause on his end, and you could just about make out the distant chatter from the other boys. “I don’t know. I had some ideas I wanted to flesh out while they were still fresh …”

“Shoot. Are you sure I can’t convince you to change your mind? I was really looking forward to getting to spend some time with you.” You dropped your voice down to a seductive tone. “I promise I’ll make it worth your time.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I have some ideas in mind.”

“What kind of ideas?”

“Good food, good company, and a good night’s sleep. What more could you possible want?”

“That sounds like heaven,” He said with a smile in his voice. “I’ll agree on one condition.”

“Hmm?”

“Tell me which one of the boys put you up to this.”

You snickered. “Please don’t kill my boyfriends, babe. I prefer to have them around just a little longer.”

“Oh no, I mean to thank them. I was planning on spending the night with you anyways, as an apology for missing dinner last night, but I figured I could get a better deal if I convinced the others that I was going to work tonight-“ He trailed off.

Your mouth dropped open in shock. “You planned this!?”

“I planned on someone snitching on me.” His own voice suddenly dropped, and you felt shivers roll down your spine. “Getting to hear you practically begging for me? Oh honey, that was just the cherry on top.”

“You little shit,” You snapped back breathlessly.

Chan let out a chuckle. “I’ll see you tonight sweetheart.”

“My place or yours?” You wondered, twirling around on your spot with a smile.

“My place. If I have you all alone, I won’t be able to keep my hands to myself.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” You teased. “But your place it is. See you later, alligator.”

“In a while, crocodile.”

-0-0-

Y/N You’re too predictable And apparently, so am I :( Changbin ??

-0-0-

Using the key you had been given just the day before, you made your way into an uneasily quiet apartment. It felt wrong to be there by yourself, but you had a plan for a perfect evening, and part of that part was making sure that you had a nice warm meal waiting for your boys when they got back home.

You were planning on something simple, but also something you were sure everyone would like. You didn’t know if everyone would come around for dinner or if it would just be the 4 who lived there, so you made enough for 9 people and figured if there were leftovers they could always eat tomorrow.

And your timing was nearly spot on, because just as you lowered the heat to leave the food warm, you heard the front door click open. There was a soft chatter and a surprised hum from behind you, and you turned around with a smile.

“Dinner’s ready if you guys are hungry,” you said, and Jisung waddled over to you with a tired smile.

“Hi baby,” he said, wrapping his arms around you.

“Miss me?” You teased.

“Always.” He hooked his chin onto your shoulder, and you felt an arm reach out to pull the lid off the pan on the stove. “Ooh, whats this?”

“Chicken parm. You hungry?”

“Ahhh, you made food!?” Changbin’s loud yell made you jump, and you peeked around Jisung to wave at the other three who were piling into the kitchen.

“It’s ready, if you guys want to eat.”

You received a loud overlapping rumble of confirmation from 3 of the boys, and Chan gave you a knowing look when you winced at the sudden pitch in noise. He mouthed what you assumed was ‘thank you’, but you had to quickly look away to keep Hyunjin from dropping the plates he had been trying to grab despite you and Jisung standing in his way.

Jisung whined when you pulled away, and it was only with a promise to sit next to him that you managed to wrangle them all to the table.

The rest of the meal was surprisingly silent as the boys ate. You could tell they were tired, and you were thankful that Chan wasn’t going to actually be working late that night because he looked like he needed a good night’s sleep more than anyone.

“I’ll clean up,” You reassured the others when they finished. “You guys go get ready for bed.”

“Are you staying?!” Hyunjin piped up, giving you a pleading look.

“Sorry Hyunnie, I called dibs,” Chan said, patting the young dancer on the shoulder.

Changbin gave you a sour look and you laughed, knowing that he had undoubtedly asked Chan about your cryptic text and realized you had both been bamboozled.

Jisung let out a yell. “No fair! Why do you get to spend the night with them?”

“Yeah! What if I get lonely tonight?”

“Ah, Hyunjinnie! You can stay with me if you want!” Changbin chimed in.

Hyunjin made a face, leaning away from Changbin who was now making kissy faces, and shooting you a pleading look. You grabbed his plate and escaped into the kitchen, the sound of chairs scratching along the floor and pounding footsteps echoing down the halls.

“Everyday,” Chan sighed, joining you at the sink and placing his plate on the counter.

You glanced at him, smile tugging at your lips. “You poor boy. You look like you need a break.”

“Hmm, good thing I have a perfect escape,” He whispered, wrapping his arms around your waist.

The heat from his body soaked through your shirt and you leaned back, pausing in your dish washing to appreciate the feeling of content you experienced being in his arms, and you knew he felt it too when he slumped against you as his muscles relaxed. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, grip tightening for a split second before he pulled away.

“Move over,” He said, bumping you with his hip. “Let me help.”

“You don’t have to,” You reassured him. “I know you’re tired.”

“The quicker we finish this, the quicker I get to have you in my bed.”

You flushed at the subtle innuendo he dropped on you, and if it wasn’t for the giggle that escaped him when he realized it too, you would have thought it was on purpose. You bumped him back and the two of you made quick work of the dishes.

-0-0-

Something nudged your shoulder, and you jolted awake with a sudden inhale of air. There was a blurry smudge of a person leaning over you, and your heart was beating loudly in your ears until your eyes adjusted to the dark and you realized that the smudge was Jisung, frozen with his eyes wide at having been caught. You let out the breath you had been holding.

“Sungie,” You groaned, and Chan shifted from behind you. “Seriously?”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t notice until tomorrow.”

You closed your eyes, lifting up the blanket in a silent invitation, and Jisung took the win with grace as he slid under the covers. Chan huffed out a laugh in realization, warm air hitting the back of your neck. Jisung pressed his back against your front, and you wrapped your arms around him, the warmth from both sides slowly pulling you back to sleep.

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londonfoginacup · 8 months ago

Text

Personal stream of consciousness around Liam and grief and moving forward

Every day I wake up and Liam is still dead. It continues to sort of feel like at some point I will wake up and that won’t be true, that he’ll be back, like he’s just on a trip right now. And I think that’s… a normal part of the grieving process, but it’s hard because it feels disrespectful, almost.

I only did 8 days of inktober this year. I had another ten sketched out already in my notebook, and now I wonder what to do with those. Some of them were good! (Some weren’t). I was older than Liam by a month or so, but for some reason I want to be able to go to him now, and show him those sketches, and say, I do art too! Aren’t you proud of me?

Death is a horrible and unnatural thing. It was never supposed to happen to us. We grieve because we were not made to lose people. We were made to love them forever. Grief is our body trying desperately to reconcile with a reality it was never made for. That is why it feels this way. We were not made for a life like this. We were made to hold one another in our arms. We were made to love each other. We were made for more.

I want to tell him that. That he was made for more than he got. I hope someday I can.

When tumblr started having polls, I always voted the Liam option, and in part that was because I love Liam and I would’ve chosen him regardless. But in part it was with the thought that, if he were to ever snoop on our community here, I wanted Liam to see that he had people in his corner. I don’t regret that. I’m sad it’s all I could do.

I was thinking about it earlier. About One Direction. I tried to slice it so many ways and I came to the conclusion that Liam and Louis are the ones that I think were the heart. I think 1D could’ve come back together to tour, make music, and so on, as long as it had at least those two. 1D could never exist without Liam. It just couldn’t. He loved them too much.

Obviously, I haven’t turned my queue back on. I haven’t felt right reblogging current day stuff about the boys. It feels like turning that back on will indicate being ready to move on, to some extent. And okay, I’ll never be ready so there’s that. But. The idea of turning it back on doesn’t feel right. Not yet.

That being said, I started last month preparing for Christmas. For the 25 days of fic rec I do, and the advent fic. And of course cards. I had decided just a week before Everything Happened that I couldn’t afford to do physical cards this year. And I feel ten times more guilty about that decision now, because it feels like surely people NEED that! But I am also trying to be realistic with myself; so many wonderful people have offered to help financially, and any other time I think I would’ve taken them up on that, but right now the emotional and mental weight of doing physical cards might also be too heavy.

Which, again, makes me feel like I’m letting people down when they need me. If I could, I would send all of you personalized letters every day. It is so hard to reckon with the knowledge that I am only human and must take care of myself.

But I will do the fic recs. that’s easy; I’ve already finished the post graphics.

And I will do the advent fic (I might change my plot— the original one didn’t have a lot of Liam, but i think I need him there more).

And I will make some sort of digital cards for sure. It occurred to me this year that I never put my paper dolls online anywhere and I sort of wonder why not. At least maybe this will be a treat for anyone too wary of sending a stranger online their address— all of you can print th paper dolls for yourselves. I’ll make plenty of outfits.

So. That’s my plan, I suppose. I’ve cried writing this more than I’ve cried all week, I think because it’s easy to think that I am past the worst of the grieving right up until I have to look head on at the facts again.

I miss him. I miss him. How could this happen.

#liam #ugggghhhhhhhh I am crying again and my EARS ARE RED #bleeeeeghhghghgg #how to make it sound like you’re not crying at your desk when you work in an open plan office??? I dunno I sure do NOT KNOW #😩😩😩😩😩😩

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dr-spectre · 1 year ago

Text

The Corruption In Splatoon.

Hypno Callie - Sanitized Agent 3 - Marina Agitando Analyzed.

(Note: this post may get edited over time if i need to fix grammar errors, get new information or anyone corrects me in a fair way. I'm not gonna listen to those who say "erm you're wrong actually." There will also be sources at the bottom.)

One of the biggest issues I've seen in the Splatoon community are the misconceptions and misinformation that spread around so quickly and i see it a lot when it comes to the corruption arcs found in Callie, Agent 3 and Marina. People throw around the words "hypnotized, mind controlled, brainwashed" interchangeably between the three, and it kind of damages the stories the developers wanted to tell. I see people say that Marina was hypnotized, which isn't the case at all, and same with Agent 3.

So in this long post I'm gonna go into a deep dive and analyze these characters, go into their personalities while under their corruption, distinguish between their "afflictions" and how they got to that point. There is a lot of depth to this and most people (not all ofc) overlook it which is a shame and i wanna change that.

We will first start off with a character i feel very strongly towards, the one i feel gets the most amount of misinformation in the community and is overlooked the most. A character, suffering from mental distress and isolation, the loser of the final Splatfest in Splatoon 1. An antagonist born out of her own volition and free will despite what many say about her.

Hypno/Octo Callie

Hypno/Octo Callie is where most people tend to slip up and only look at the surface level info the game presents, and that information barely scratches the surface into what happened to Callie and what Callie is like under the influence of the shades.

First off, how did Callie end up like this? She was isolated, got kidnapped by Octavio and then brainwashed right? WRONG! Although this is what Splatoon 2 suggests, it's entirely wrong and paints a pretty gross picture if you think about it for more than five seconds. Implying that Octavio is some freak and monster who waited for the perfect moment to snatch up Callie and then brainwash her against her consent, forcing her into things she didn't want to do, like wear that revealing outfit, brand her with that tattoo, and join the Octarians as a mind controlled slave for their goals. Yeahhhhh... you can see why i have an issue with this implication and the interpretations this created in the fandom...

It's really disgusting and I'm honestly quite shocked that people wanna paint that picture of Octavio and leave Callie as a victim with trauma from those events. Callie in her dialogue never EVER mentions being kidnapped, and only Marie says that because from her perspective, she's gonna think that's what happened cause she worries about Callie all the damn time. They only say "kidnapped" in outside media to make Octavio more of a cartoony evil villain and to simplify things which makes me kind of frustrated. If Callie truly suffered from trauma and had resentment for the Octarians, it would display in her dialogue. She would say shit like, "If i see another Octarian... oh, I'm gonna SPLAT them to pieces!" or "I'm gonna get those Octarians for what they put me through..." It also explains why she even thought about putting the shades back on because if she truly suffered from trauma, she wouldn't DARE put those shades back on. The "plenty!" Line she says in Splatoon 3 when Shiver asks what's wrong with them is a joke line and most likely references her putting the shades on again and again, but the canon on the rematches is unclear but I'm gonna treat them as canon.

However I've seen people bring up this concept art to dismiss these arguments where Callie is seen putting on the Hypnoshades without her knowledge and then is "turned evil ooooo!!"

This is just a SINGLE piece of concept art that the developers MIGHT have used to explain the rematch of the final boss. This art is disproven from Callie's dialogue in the rematch across various different languages as if Marie asked her why she put the shades back on, she would likely have a different response if the shades were put on her in that way.

There is also other concept art showing Callie being alone and comforted by Octarians which also disproves that single piece of concept art that suggests the weird gross narrative online that people push about Octavio.

Now that we've cleared up the misconceptions, how did Callie end up wearing those shades? Well, as shown with the Sunken Scrolls, Callie falls apart when she's alone, she overthinks and gets stressed out.

Callie is a person who seeks companionship and always looks on the bright side, even if it's a detriment on her mental health and causes her to bottle up her emotions to an unhealthy degree. Waking up extremely early and working all day, being surrounded by paparazzi, damaged her mental health, and Marie wasn't there for her as she had a different schedule. Their relationship slowly broke apart and the Splatfest probably didn't help with that either. There might have been some resentment that Callie hid.

At some point Callie must have met up with Octavio after she stormed off in the Squid Sister Stories on chapter 7, and Octavio, being the master manipulator that he his, probably convinced Callie to join the Octarians and appealed to her sense of isolation and pressure from being a star. He didn't force her into anything as shown with Callie's dialogue not showing any hints towards this, Octavio just pulled the right strings and Callie willingly joined to escape her life as said by her line in the official relationship chart "OK, fine, I'll hear you out."

If Octavio tried to grab her or put the shades on her by force, he would get absolutely eviscerated. Remember, Callie is not some weak little girl, she's a trained agent who's a roller main, a weapon that requires a ton of physical strength to wield. Inklings and Octolings do not have bones and are carried purely by their muscles, and because Octavio is way older than Callie and can't even walk properly due to him being stuck in his octopus form, Callie would be able to physically overpower him and turn him into a cooked octopus with rice on the side by the time she is done with him.

Callie finds the Octarians cute and Octavio knows that if he could get her on his side, he could help his troops and save his race from destruction. Octavio uses music to motivate his troops to battle and Callie's help in this would help him a lot. And that's where the shades come in....

The Hypnoshades are very vague and we're not fully sure on the effects, however judging from their name we can guarantee that they involve hypnosis in some form. Either it's because of the animated parts at the front which Callie can see or some other sci fi bullshit that is not explained. They are not "brainwashing shades" that turn a person evil. If that's the case then they wouldn't be called HYPNO shades.

Now let's dive into hypnosis and explain what it is. Hypnosis is being described as being put into a deeply relaxing state where your mind is more prone to suggestions. It's not like in popular media where some dude swings a watch around and goes, "You are getting very sleepy oooo," and then they become a puppet and are mind controlled. No, that's not what happens. Yes, you are more prone to listening to suggestions and taking them to heart, HOWEVER! ONLY IF ITS ACCEPTABLE TO THE HYPNOTIZED PERSON! THE SUGGESTION CANNOT GO AGAINST A PERSON'S MORALS AND IF IT DOES THEY WON'T LISTEN!

If the person who is getting hypnotized doesn't wanna follow through with the suggestion by the person behind the hypnosis, they won't listen to the suggestion. If Callie didn't wanna wear that outfit, she wouldn't. If Callie didn't wanna decorate Octo Canyon, then she wouldn't, but she does because she loves art. You can't make a hypnotized person wanna murder their friends and families unless they secretly want to.... you cannot get a guy on stage to get nude in front of an audience as shown with those stage hypnosis acts, it is most likely faked or the person was in a really good mood and wanted to have fun.

Callie, while under the shades acts more like her normal self than not. She is still energetic and even decorated Octo Canyon as she is a fan of art. Her chaotic nature is still intact however she is more violent and harsh which was teased in her Splatfest dialogue in Splatoon 1. If she was brainwashed then she would be more like a mindless robot that follows Octavio no matter what, like a specialized sleeper agent. However, she snaps back at him multiple times when Agent 4 attacks the Octobot King II and doesn't even wanna kill Marie but instead get her away from her because of their broken relationship. But she tries to kill Agent 4 because she doesn't know who that is and has no personal attachment to them.

The shades do NOT control Callie and do NOT force Octarian ideals into her head. The shades are there to further manipulate Callie, and Callie heard out the suggestions by her own free will. If Callie's mental health and life were better she would probably not listen to Octavio and turn him into a paste on the road with her roller.

Hypnosis is also incredibly relaxing and helps with disorders like anxiety. Maybe it's why she kept putting on the shades again and escaping with Octavio. She might be addicted to it, as shown by her rematch dialogue. However, they don't go into any depth with it unfortunately.

I know people tend to bring up Octavio's line, "i remixed Callie's brain!" to disprove my points, however,

1. Its probably bad translation as the English localization team makes mistakes often as shown with Octo Expansion with Commander Tartar's and Marina's dialogue, and Side Order as well. The line is also different in other languages and some of those languages mention hypnosis, we also don't have a retranslation of the Japanese script for Splatoon 2 so I'm give the English script a HUGE grain of salt on the dialogue.

2. Octavio is a DJ. He says musical terms to describe things. the "remixing" of Callie's brain is to show that Octavio has got Callie on his side via manipulation and not direct brain "washing" if you get what I'm trying to say here. He didn't literally warp her brain with some bullshit evil shades. He just pulled the right strings and pointed her in his direction without directly or forcefully doing it.

There is also Marie's line, "Why would you put those stupid brainwashing sunglasses back on?" In the rematch. However, this is only in the English translation of the original Japanese script, and in other languages, Marie just calls them the Hypnoshades or glasses. The localization team of Splatoon is known to make mistakes, like I've stated previously.

I also wanna go over the design for a little bit, it's honestly really well done and aside from the weird icky implications people just love to make about it, it does a good job at being an "Evil Callie" look. The colors are really appealing to the eyes, the way the design flows together is nice to look at, the octopus tattoo is striking and has become iconic in the fandom, with some believing Callie kept the tattoo as a popular headcanon. The glittery leggings and spikes on the waist and neck are a nice addition. Flipping the grilled squid pattern and placing it on her chest. And the shades are just the cherry on top with their hypnotic patterns, giving you the feeling that a person you knew is different... and off... They took the child like and joyful design of Callie and made her into a more mature and intimidating presence.

Now i wanna quickly go over when the shades get shot off of her as some people say that Callie lost her memories when the shades were put on her and removing them brought back her memories.

When it comes to being put into a hypnotic state, it's very dream like and incredibly relaxing, its essentially similar to a flow state when you're deeply concentrated on a task. So imagine a god damn ink bullet flying at your face at incredible speed, flinging you out of that state quickly and seeping ink into your eye. Yeah, it would hurt like hell and leave you completely dazed, right?

Some people who go under hypnosis can experience headaches, dizziness, nausea, and if you look at Callie when the shades are removed, guess what, she's holding her head in pain and is completely dazed, unable to properly speak and is left to only sing and dance as it comes natural to her cause she's an Idol.

What i think is happening here is that Callie, after being removed from the hypnotic state, starts thinking more rationally for a moment and realizes that Marie does care for her and has come to get her. She remembers all the good memories they had together from hearing the Calamari Inkantation, the song doesn't free people from brainwashing or mind control as some people tend to believe, it's just an insanely catchy song that motivates those who hear it. It probably gave her mind a positive boost and she remembers all the wonderful memories she had with Marie, getting rid of the negativity and darkness in Callie's head that flooded her rational thinking and made her more emotional and impulsive. People who experience mental illness have foggy minds and you can ask someone who has or had anxiety or depression on what it's like. Trust me, it's not fun.

After Callie returns to the outpost, she shows regret and tells Agent 4 that she's sorry for trying to kill them and promises that she's on the "up and up! Promise!" If Callie was truly kidnapped and then brainwashed against her consent she would be putting all the blame on Octavio and would show some amount of anger towards him, but she doesn't. I wonder why huh? Hmm. Maybe that popular narrative online is far from what actually happened huh?

With that information laid out, it makes the Bomb Rush Blush remix, Tidal Rush and Spicy Calamari Inkantation work way more as emotional tracks. The Bomb Rush Blush remix still having it's cheery sounding elements but mixed with more sinister and dark undertones, even including the Onward! jingle to show how far Callie has descended into villainy. Tidal Rush being an emotional and powerful song where Marie reaches out to her cousin in a very sad sounding way as her voice sounds broken and desperate. Callie trying her hardest not to listen to Marie and shutting her down as she wants nothing to do with her anymore after their relationship has been damaged.

Spicy Calamari Inkantation sounds more triumphant and joyful if you take all the context into account, Callie finally breaking free from the darkness clouding her mind and singing alongside her cousin in a much more expanded version of Calamari Inkantation that sounds more full and complete, including new sections by Callie and Marie and the melody of City of Color spliced in there for good measure.

With that LONG explanation of Hypno/Octo Callie, it's now time to move on the next character, and this where things somehow get more weird than a pair of hypnotic shades...

Sanitized Agent 3

Now this is where things get really tricky because the whole concept of sanitization is quite unclear until Side Order and it's basically boiled down to "zombie mind control goop" created by Commander Tartar in order to remove "life's energies" and effectively have lifeless zombies under it's control. However Agent 3 was only partially sanitized so it's unclear on what is exactly going on here. But before we can get to that, we need to discuss how they got to that state.

Before Agent 8 and Cap'n Cuttlefish turned into a nice strawberry smoothie, Agent 3 came to save them after receiving a distress signal from Marina. Agent 3 slammed themselves into the blender, rendering them unconscious which becomes important later on.

After some time Agent 3 gets taken away off screen and then gets partially sanitized and ties up Cap'n Cuttlefish.

So what is happening here? Is Agent 3 brainwashed here? Well not exactly, what i think is going on is that Commander Tartar put that sanitized ink on Agent 3's head to have a direct connection to them to take control over their body and use them as a vessel, to protect it and stop Agent 8 from destroying it's plans. Agent 3 while partially sanitized acts more cold and aggressive, even disabling their special limiter as told by Marina.

An important line of dialogue from Cap'n Cuttlefish states that Agent 3's mind was "hijacked" meaning that Commander Tartar has taken over their body and is using them like a puppet to stop Agent 8. While i don't like to base all of my evidence on the English dialogue, from my knowledge there is no retranslated dialogue of the fight online, if there is let me know so i can have a look at it.

Agent 3 was most likely completely unaware of this as they were knocked out and only woke up at the end of Octo Expansion after the NILS Statue was destroyed. They had no idea on what happened and were probably told about it after it was all over.

Agent 3 was also NOT hypnotized as sanitization has no hypnosis element to it. People who say they were are flat out wrong. They were not necessarily brainwashed either as they were completely unconscious and could not have had their ideals and morals warped by Commander Tartar. You can't really pressure an unconscious body to follow your ideals you know?

We don't get a lot of screentime with Sanitized Agent 3 but from the small moment we did get, it definitely left a strong impression and the amazing Splattack remix helped as well. Taking the once iconic song and mixing it and blending into a distorted chaotic track with elements from the DnB genre such as fast drum beats and loud wailing sirens, showing the danger of Agent 3. It really shows that Agent 3, our player character from Splatoon 1 has been morphed and twisted into a sanitized monster that's trying to murder you. It's like a virus has invaded the song and is taking control, much like what happened to Agent 3, unconscious and put to sleep as their body is being used by Commander Tartar to carry out it's goals.

Now it's time to move to the final character, the loser of the Final Fest, The Administrator of Order...

Marina Agitando

Now much like Agent 3, its sort of vague in terms of how exactly Marina ended up this way as we don't see it play out on screen. What we know is that during the development of the Memverse, Marina created an ai that would be the overseer of the Spire of Order. However due to unknown circumstances it went rogue and got into Marina's mind according to her, either she meant it literally and Overlorder possessed her, or it brainwashed her and took advantage of Marina's deep desire to yearn for a world of order and stability and warped her mind to accomplish that goal.

But, from the hints we do have as well as an interview from the developers after Side Order released, Marina was not brainwashed or hypnotized, but instead was knocked unconscious and then possessed by Overlorder. You can hear it's voice during Marina Agitando's dialogue under Marina's, heck the dialogue she says is more robotic and static, much like Overlorder's. She speaks like a robot in this form which is vastly different from how Callie speaks when under the shades where she's chaotic and loud like her original self times but on another level.

Marina being unconscious and not remembering what happened is also supported in the Side Order Famitsu interview released a while after the DLC came out which states that Marina doesn't remember making her solo song "Unconscience." When she is rescued and freed from the Controller VM, she appears like she's woken up from a bad nap.

Marina as Marina Agitando acts very robotic and cold, her movements are jittery and mechanical as Overlorder uses her body like a giant meat puppet. Her attacks are in time with the music and she shakes all about when firing attacks. It's pretty gross to see the once cheerful and adorable Marina in a state where she's this giant woman entangled in a giant pulsating tentacle that beats and restricts her. It's both sad and pretty damn scary.

She doesn't even recognize Pearl and Agent 8 unlike Callie who still recognizes Marie while under the shades. Marina just calls them "intruders" and is immediately hostile towards them.

Aside from that, there really isn't that much to talk about when it comes to Marina Agitando because she has arguably the shortest amount of screentime out of the three. But i will say that the design is excellent, using the Order outfit as a base and adding body horror elements to it, with her being trapped in a giant tentacles and weird metal pipes coming from the sides that pump out this weird red energy, like veins. Her constant smiling during the battle, the little DJ poses she does but they've become so lifeless and robotic, much like the ai possessing her. The sweet and funky girl is gone, replaced with a machine hell bent on order and will kill anything that gets in it's way.

The song too "Unconscience" is an absolute bop and is a stark contrast from Marina's usual music. It's an ear worm of a song that will get stuck in your head, and if they designed it like that way on purpose than bravo on the music team for Splatoon.

Conclusion.

Why did i make this? Why spend the time and effort to make something like this? Well, as a fan of these characters, i wanna see them well represented and their stories shared properly in the community. Seeing people use the incorrect terms when describing Hypno Callie and Marina Agitando despite the two literally being so vastly different in personality and "affliction." Making Callie's situation way worse by saying she was snatched up randomly, then brainwashed while struggling and losing her memories, treating her as some victim of abuse when the story the writers wanted to tell was a story about the broken relationship between Callie and Marie, and them finally coming together for each other and maturing, it's literally shown in the songs Tidal Rush and Fresh Start for god sake. I find it incredibly frustrating when i see people put in the effort to make these giant timeline videos, translate interviews and then they drop the fucking ball for Callie in Splatoon 2 for some god damn reason. Every. Single. Time.

While i don't feel as strongly for Agent 3 and Marina Agitando, Hypno Callie was the catalyst for me to look deeper into these corruption arcs and find all the interesting details and tidbits about these forms. Marina Agitando was such a hype moment for me when i first played Side Order and it took something we all expected to happen but gave us a little twist on it by making her the very first boss of the dlc.

Seeing Agent 3 again and the Splatoon devs wanting to look back on the past in an interesting way was so exciting to see. It paved the way for the series to reflect on itself and celebrate earlier entries.

Because of the misconceptions online about what truly happened to Callie, i felt this pain in my chest, i was unable to enjoy the concept of an evil Callie, i was unable to listen to the Splatoon 2 hero mode level music without feeling some sort of uncomfortable pain. It literally impacted my day to day living because my brain became SO attached to this squid woman. I couldn't accept the false narrative online, the abusive and disgusting view on my comfort character. A character i find joy and love in. Twisted and turned into something that brings me genuine discomfort.

Splatoon 2's story was handled poorly and caused literally EVERYONE to think that Callie is some abused victim that got kidnapped and turned evil by force by a creepy old ass octopus, when its SOOO far from the case.

There's probably people out there who feel the same way towards Marina Agitando and Sanitized Agent 3. No one likes to see their comfort character misrepresented and i hope you feel heard and that your views matter too. It's okay to look deeper into these characters, it's okay to not wanna accept the common narrative and find and present your own findings to everyone. If it makes you feel better and that chest in your pain subsides afterwards, then go for it. Please.

Thank you so much for reading this, I'm sure there's gonna be some people who disagree and share their own evidence and that is okay. As long as you don't try to push your views onto me or others then you have a right to have your own perspectives about these 3.

Seriously, thank you for spending the time to read this and hearing me out. I hope you have an awesome day : )

Sources:

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poetrysmackdown · 2 years ago

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what makes a poem a poem? does it have to be written in a certain way? is this question a poem if i want it to be?

Fun question! This is just my personal sense as an avid reader and less-avid writer of poetry, but for me it’s useful to distinguish (roughly) between poetry as a genre and poetry as an attitude or philosophy through which language and the world can be understood. And of course these two go hand in hand. I see poetry the genre as essentially a type of literature where we as readers are signaled, somehow, to pay closer attention to language, to rhythm, to sound, to syntax, to images, and to meaning. That attentive posture is the “attitude” of broader poetic thinking, and while it’s most commonly applied to appreciate work that’s been written for that purpose, there’s nothing stopping us from applying that attentiveness elsewhere. Everywhere, even! That’s how you eventually end up writing poetry for yourself, after all. There’s a quote from Mary Ruefle floating around on here that a lot of folks have probably already seen, but it immediately comes to mind with this ask:

“And when you think about it, poets always want us to be moved by something, until in the end, you begin to suspect that a poet is someone who is moved by everything, who just stands in front of the world and weeps and laughs and laughs and weeps.”

Similarly, after adopting the attentive posture of poetics, there’s plenty of things that can feel or sound like a poem, even when they perhaps were not written with that purpose in mind. I’ve seen a couple of these “found poems” on here that are quite fun—this one, for example. The meaning and enjoyment you may derive from the language of a found poem isn’t any less real than that derived from a poem written for explicitly poetic purposes, so I don’t see why it shouldn’t be called poetry.

That said, I do think that if you’re going to go out and start looking for poetry everywhere, it’s still important to have a foundation in the actual language work of it all. Now, this doesn’t mean it has to be “written in a certain way” at all! But it does mean that in order to cultivate the attentiveness that’s vital to poetry, one needs to understand what makes language tick, down at its most basic levels. It will make you better at reading poetry, better at writing it, and better at spotting it out in the wild.

Mary Oliver’s A Poetry Handbook is an extraordinary resource to new writers and readers, and a great read for more experienced folks as well. Mary Oliver’s most popular poems are all to my knowledge in free verse, and yet you might be surprised to find her deep appreciation for metrical verse (patterns of stressed/unstressed syllables), as well as for the most minute devices of sound. In discussing the so-called poetry of the past, she writes,

“Acquaintance with the main body of English poetry is absolutely essential—it is the whole cake, while what has been written in the last hundred years or so, without meter, is no more than an icing. And, indeed, I do not really mean an acquaintanceship—I mean an engrossed and able affinity with metrical verse. To be without this felt sensitivity to a poem as a structure of lines and rhythmic energy and repetitive sound is to be forever less equipped, less deft than the poet who dreams of making a new thing can afford to be.”

In another section, after devoting lots of attention to the sounds at work in Robert Frost’s “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening”, she writes,

“Everything transcends from the confines of its initial meaning; it is not only the transcendence in meaning but the sound of the transcendence that enables it to work. With the wrong sounds, it could not have happened.”

I hope all this helps to get across my opinion that what makes a poem a poem is not just about the author's intention, and not just about meaning (intended or attributed), but also about sound and rhythm and language and history, all coalescing into something that rises above the din of a language we would otherwise grow tired of while out in our day-to-day lives.

I'll always have more to say but I'm cutting myself off here! Thanks for the ask

#ask #discussion #does this even answer the question? lol #anyways even if you're not huge on mary oliver i still highly recommend a poetry handbook #i admit her poetry is only to my taste about 60-70% of the time. but her handbook is a great resource and can stand alone #i actually think oliver wrote a whole other book just about metrical verse too. for people who are into that #also if you're someone who's less interested in the question 'what is poetry?' and more into questions like #why is poetry? can poetry survive? what the fuck happened to poetics in the twentieth century?#i recommend the witness of poetry by czeslaw milosz #an older book—actually a collection of lectures—but an absolute game-changer for me #not a poll

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professionalranter31 · 1 year ago

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I have several headcannons for the Overwatch Heroes, I’m going to share them

Moira is a coffee addict however caffeine can’t affect her, like it won’t wake her up or energize her it does nothing but if she goes without she experiences withdrawal. She has a side project where she’s trying to create a serum that will allow caffeine to actually affect her, unbeknownst to her however he colleagues both at Oasis and Talon have been sabotaging this project as they are terrified of what will happen if she can actually experience caffeine

Roadhog’s name was actually started before the Omnium explosion, a kid had given him a pig to stitch onto his shotgun holster and some of his friends called him Roadhog as a joke, it stopped being a joke after the explosion

Venture has a house that while they don’t often stay there long they do keep a collection that they started from their various jobs. Jars of dirt from each dig site they’ve ever worked at, with a flag for the country it’s from and a sticker with some information about the dig site. When they’re hunting down relic thieves they collect some dirt from each place they go on their search and adds it into a singular jar with some barriers but in to separate the different dirt from the rest alongside the usual things they put on the jars

Mauga is trained in how to be a bartender. He learned back during his days as a Raider to do undercover work on their targets, either for assassinations or information gathering. He still makes plenty of drinks for Talon and he does hope to share a drink with Baptiste again at some point, either when one of them is on death’s door or as friends again so he keeps a small bottle on his person of Bap’s favorite drink just in case

Genji occasionally forgets to take his mask off when drinking or eating, not because he’s embarrassed about his face but because at times it feels like his mask is actually his face. Zenyatta has been trying to help him with this, with more difficulty than expected

Zenyatta actually had several jobs before the crisis happened, so many that not even Ramattra knows all of them. He uses this knowledge to mess with people a lot but it also makes him a jack of all trades so he helps out with a lot of things around Shambali with a lot of things

Before Zarya joined the military she had several flavors for protein shakes that she loved to have, however after she joined she has stuck with unflavored mixed into water so that it’s quick to make and take before and after her battles. She hates the lack of flavor so much that she intends to expand her pallet of flavors once she is done fighting so she can forget the unflavored

Dr Winston (the human) got Hammond into contact with an engineering friend on Earth in an effort to at least lessen the amount of time the hamster escaped a day. This friend didn’t know about the cruelty the Horizon Test Subjects faced and Hammond could see that. The friend helped Hammond develop the first version of his hamster to human translator be showing the blueprints of past translators and shared all sorts of ideas with him on things to make. Before he met the Junkers Hammond only liked this one human, and he hopes to meet her someday, if nothing but to at least tell her he’s okay. Until then he busies himself with crossing off ideas on the list they made together, and making sure each one works

Mei had friends she would talk to from other ecopoints, she hopes to get back in contact with them at some point and catch up but with the program having been shut down for a long time she hasn’t had much luck in that endeavor

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #moira o'deorain #sloane cameron #overwatch hcs #overwatch headcanons #overwatch venture #Overwatch Hammond #overwatch wrecking ball #mei ling zhou #overwatch mei #overwatch mauga #genji shimada #zenyatta #aleksandra zaryanova #overwatch roadhog #mako rutledge

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junowritings · 2 years ago

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Hello ☺️💚

I hope I can request something, if they are closed please feel free to delete this 🌺🌺

I absolutely I adored your NRC amnesiac MC story with the dorms and would love to see more. It just hit all the tropes I love so much and adore.

Maybe with the rest of the dorms? As scenarios?? Or imagines?? (Honestly I’m a confused when it comes to those terms, so whichever is easier for you)

With pomefiore, ignihyde, and diasomnia? I feel like Vil is going to take one look at mc and go “okay, time to take care of another potato” but lovingly, ignihyde is going ortho is “I have another sibling” and gosh diasomnia is practically family and lilia is going “time to adopt another one 👏👏”

I just found the idea so so cute, but feel free to do whatever you want ☺️🌺

Right so first off I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED THE ORIGINAL ONE!!! Also thank you so much for all the kind comments that you leave on my post I see every single one and it still makes my day to re-read them!

But also GOD I love this idea too and I got way too carried away with this. There's a lot of TWST I gotta catch up on (haven't been able to start chapter 7 yet) so I had to work with what I've got in terms of knowledge of Diasomnia.

I hope this was well worth the wait~! (OG scenario here btw)

Pomefiore

♡ Time passes at Night Raven College, and life continues to move on, as it always has. It’s been months without a single shred of your memories resurfacing, and with no sign of anything returning anytime soon the attention has turned from your past, to your present. Your memory loss has become a simple fact of life at this point, a reality that you had to put on the back burner with everything else that had happened since your arrival and during the winter holidays. You’re thankful that the needless prodding seems to have died down by the time that students start returning back to the school and classes resume. Things return to the only sense of normalcy you’ve ever known, and you think you can get used to this without another incident.

♡ Until VDC happens.

♡ Ramshackle is the only place you have to call home, but even you can admit that it needs a lot of work. It’s a poor excuse for a building, considering the state that it had been left in far before anyone called it home. It at least had running water, and electricity, but compared to the other dorms and their meticulous upkeep by both students and staff, Ramshackle is most certainly the odd dorm out with only two members and a handful of ghosts to its name. And yet it’s the place that the headmaster deems an acceptable place to host the VDC group during their month ‘training camp’.

♡ It makes it easier knowing that you’re good friends with the majority of the group, having been through plenty before the training camp even started. In some weird way it’s kind of like a month-long sleepover with your friends and classmates, not unlike the times Kalim’s dragged you over to Scarabia for the night in the name of making fond memories. Still, you can’t help but feel cautious around the Pomfiore members you now have living under your roof, and how little you actually know about them.

♡ By this point, the fact that you’ve got no memories prior to ending up in Twisted Wonderland is pretty much common knowledge amongst the people who bother to keep tabs on you. And considering how Pomefiore’s got the likes of Rook, a skilled hunter who has a penchant for people watching anyone who catches his eye, you’ve got no doubts that they’re well aware of your circumstances.

♡That, and Crowley’s a loudmouth when it comes to his generosity about your ‘unfortunate situation’. That headmaster is really starting to test your patience…

♡ While Vil is strict, he’s by no means cruel, and is at least polite when you first allow them all into your home. He thankfully doesn’t pity you like you worried he would - you’ve had enough of the pitying looks some people give you when they think you’re not looking. Your lack of a past isn’t something you want to dwell on, Vil can see that clearly with how thoroughly you throw yourself into the training camp alongside your friends and new acquaintances. Not to mention that you act as a surprisingly good buffer between the members whenever tensions start to arise with the upcoming deadline.

♡ It’s admirable really - a single minded little spudling if he’s ever seen one. You’ve got promise, if you keep up that resilient attitude, so Vil offers you no quarter in getting you just as involved in this little training excursion as the others are, if only to help you flourish with enough memories of this upcoming event to last you for a lifetime.

♡ With that being said your thirst for knowledge isn’t to be underestimated, and once you find out that Vil’s pretty much a celebrity and acting prodigy you’re intrigued. Vil’s walking past the living room after the group’s come back from another day training at the ballroom and freezes once he hears his own voice coming through the door. Sure enough you’re lounging over the couch watching one of the more obscure movie titles Vil’s acted in on the phone Crowley ‘gifted’ you before winter break. There’s a blunt honesty when you praise his work once you notice you’ve got an audience. Sure, it’s praise he’s heard from adoring fans and critics more times than he could ever hope to recall, but it’s not something you’re saying just to try and get in his good books. When you offhandedly mention that he looks a little happier in the roles where he’s not the villain, noting that they suit him and that whatever world you’re from he’d probably be a big hit, you swear that he gets a bit smug, apparently pleased by whatever you’d said. You may not know all the ins and outs of this world yet, but Vil’s at least sure you’ve got taste. Which is why he turns a convenient blind eye at the treats you smuggle up to Grim and your room after he’s sure you swore to Ace and Deuce to follow along with their no-sweet regime.

♡ Rook is observant, and it’s hard for people not to feel like he’s prying a bit too much into their personal lives when they happen to gain the huntsman’s attention. Perhaps it’s because you’ve got a relatively blank slate, or that you’re so focused on forging ahead to whatever comes next that you’ll get involved at a moment’s notice. Whatever the quality it has piqued his interest, and from the moment that the camp starts he’s committing every little detail about you to memory.

♡ You may not see it, but there’s so many details in the actions that you do and your daily routines that tell the story of who you are to whoever is diligent enough to listen. It’s in your mannerisms and the way you engage with everything around you, all easily missed to the untrained eye. It’s beautiful in its own way, and Rook is nothing if not an appreciator of that beauty.

♡ Your homestead at Ramshackle is but another shining example of who you are as well. Having nothing but the clothes on your back and a basic understanding of how to function when you first arrived, it’s clear that you’ve made a concentrated effort to at least make the place liveable for you and Grim; not just as a shelter, but as a home. Because of course this is the only place you can call home, and Rook is sure to treat it with the respect such an important place deserves.

♡ Epel doesn’t really know what to make of you at first. You’re from a different world entirely, for one thing, and not having any kind of past beyond school makes him feel a bit awkward about interacting with you. According to Vil, Epel’s still rather rough around the edges, and when his emotions get the better of him he’s been known to put his foot in it and say something that comes off blunt and snappy. Plus, surely there was only so much the two of you could talk about that wasn’t VDC or school related, right?

♡ He’s proven wrong when that huge batch of apple juice from his nana back home is delivered to Ramshackle’s doorstep. All it takes is him mentioning to Kalim that his hometown is known for its apples, and before he can even elaborate your voice chimes in with a helpful “Oh,the village of Harvest, right?” that has Epel’s attention snapping over to you so quickly you think you’ve done something wrong.

♡How did you even know that? His hometown’s barely on the map to begin with, so it genuinely makes him freeze when you recognize it so quickly. The question bugs him until he’s able to ask you about it later, where he finds out just how much you’ve thrown yourself into learning about this world you’ve ended up in. You’re excited that someone’s finally asking you about stuff that you do know, and you pretty much end up talking poor Epel’s ear off for the rest of the evening, telling him all kinds of facts you’ve read up on regarding his hometown’s history and culture. Hell, you spout off a few facts that even he didn’t know about, and he doesn’t miss the proud grin on your face once you learn that.

♡Surprisingly, you want to hear more from Epel too. About the place he grew up, the people he grew up with - his family especially. You’ve had some time to process your own grief around your potential family and your life back home, and though there’s still a twinge of jealousy that sparks up on the bad days you don’t want it to hinder the people that you care about right now. And so you sit, and you listen, prodding him for as much information as he’s willing to give. He practically has to send a message to his nana there and then thanking her on your behalf for all the juice when you learn that she was the one kind enough to send them all over. It’s the only way to get you off of his back about it, but there’s no denying that it’s actually kind of nice having someone who’s genuinely curious about his upbringing, instead of snooping or looking down on it.

♡Even after VDC you’re surprised to find that Pomefiore’s promptly nestled itself into your life. With everything that took place before and after the group's performance it only made sense that they’ve bonded to their newest potato, just be prepared for what exactly that entails. Expect plenty of gifts in the form of the latest cosmetic brands and accessories to be delivered to Ramshackle (much to Grim’s disappointment because it’s not food.) You’ve even had yourself called all the way over to Pomefiore’s dorm only to come back with entire outfits just because you let slip once that Crowley’s budget for your dorm doesn’t cover enough to justify buying anything more than your uniform.

♡ Those aren’t the only gifts you receive too. Often when you’re hanging out with the first year group Epel’s got one thing or another that his family back home has practically strong-armed him into giving to you. He’s talked about you to his folks a few times thanks to the whole apple incident, and Marja herself has made Epel remind you more than a couple times that you’re always welcome at the village of Harvest when the next school breaks come up. Did that embarrass Epel? Yes. Did it make him panic when you immediately teared up because of how touching it was? Also yes.

♡ Pomefiore’s final gifts are small, but mean just as much. They also confuse the hell out of you because when did they even show up??? They’re specific things - things related to your hobbies like new books, CD’s, Movies of your favorite genre for you to enjoy (in case Crowley ever caves and gets you that TV on sale at Sam’s store that he’s been promising you for weeks now goddammit-). All placed somewhere that you’re sure to find them. These gifts are well thought out and honestly mean a lot once you realize who they’re from. Not to mention that there’s a folder with a beautiful decorated cover amongst these little surprises, a clear label reading ‘Memory book’ in very familiar handwriting. Thank god the mystery is solved once you find out Grim’s being bribed with tuna by a certain bob-cut huntsman to drop all these things off at Ramshackle (Grim was supposed to give them to you in hand, but he always gets too bored to do so before you get back from school.) So long as you come to terms with the fact that you’ve been pseudo-adopted into Pomfiore’s ranks by the end of it, it’s honestly kind of nice.

♡Just maybe don’t tell Vil that you may have accidentally made friends with his biggest rival on the day of the event because you ran into him backstage. Rook is certainly happy about it - Vil not so much.

Ignihyde

♡ Your friendship with the housewarden of Ignihyde can be rather prickly in light of everything that’s happened, especially after the events with S.T.Y.X. Before that your only real contact with the Shroud brothers was through Ortho, during your first run in at the audition waiting room. You didn’t hide your excitement once you learned that Idia had made the vocal synthesizer that Ortho was using for the VDC auditions, marveling about how cool it was and asking question after question about how he did it. Ortho is more than happy to answer each and every question you have and then some - especially once you learned Technomancy was a thing and just about lit up like a lightbulb. In fact Ace and Deuce basically have to strong arm you away from the conversation in the end because you’re gonna end up making them late for the damn audition.

♡ You at least have the chance to call out to Ortho to tell his brother that he sounds awesome and his stuff is cool before the ballroom door shuts behind you. And that’s exactly what he tells Idia as soon as he’s back from the auditions. Idia thinks that you’re just pulling his leg and don’t actually mean any of the nice things that you say, and it takes Ortho insisting on playing it to him on his memory bank multiple times to prove just how genuinely nice and excited you sounded.

♡ Idia doesn’t really expect to hear anything from you after that, but hoo boy is he mistaken because once you’ve gotten in one of the Shroud boys’ good books the other one (reluctantly) follows. Not that he has much of a choice, because not even a couple of days after the auditions Idia’s getting added to a group chat with him, Ortho and you. It’s supposedly because you’d wanted to ask him a few more questions about his tech, and after Ortho had mentioned his brother probably wouldn’t like the face to face grilling, a group chat with the younger Shroud as the middleman was born. Grim sometimes forces his way into the conversation, but that usually involves him demanding you to write down the texts for him or slapping the nearest meme on your phone into the chat completely out of context.

♡Ortho has a lot of fun chatting with you because he shares your passion for learning things, and the two of you become thick as thieves over it before and after he officially becomes a student. He’s basically got the internet at his fingertips at all times, alongside a variety of other tools that basically make the younger Shroud brother a walking hub of information. You, for one, are absolutely living your best life because whatever odd subject has caught your attention, no matter the question you can always ask Ortho and he is more than happy to provide you whatever fun fact you’re looking for within a matter of moments. You get a bit quiet once he mentions the memories he was given during his creation, but that’s to be expected given the circumstances that you’re working with.

♡ At first, getting Idia to even pop up in the chat is like pulling on a gacha - you’ve got a good 2% chance of him actually interacting, though he does check in a lot more than you’d expect. With time however, and more than a little persistence on your part, you’ll find cracks in Idia’s defenses. He finds it easier to talk to people behind the safety of a screen, and it's not like you’re forcing him to interact with you so that at least gets you some brownie points. Granted, expect him to prod juuuuust a little bit if the topic of your memories come up in chat. He’s sure he hasn’t got enough of a bond rank with you yet

♡Things go up in the air when S.T.Y.X breaks into NRC.

♡ It was one thing having all of these people who you’d come to call friends suddenly stolen away, but losing Grim? The one who’s been your rock since you first showed up who’s been a part of every single memory you’ve made? If Rook wasn’t already planning to sneak out to find them you would have tore through their headquarters with your bare hands to get that damn tuna loving weird rock eating fluff ball back. Once you found out what S.T.Y.X actually had their hands in, especially considering the Lethe River system you were pissed. If you didn’t know for a fact that you were from another world entirely, and that the system operated to a very specific set of procedures for rewriting and erasing set memories, you would have thought that it had something to do with your own memory erasure. If that was the case you probably would have throttled the poor older Shroud; but because you know the truth, and the system itself is down for the next few centuries you settle for being absolutely livid about it.

♡ It’s a sore spot, hitting a little too close to home knowing that there’s people out there who have had memories taken away from them or altered to protect S.T.Y.X’s existence. It’s nothing like your own situation, but you can’t help feeling angry for them. And on top of that, seeing all of those phantoms and knowing that they could have been your friends if you hadn’t been able to bring them back from their overblots? You may try to think of every memory being worth it, but you learn that some bad memories keep you up at night for days after you’re all finally home.

♡ Your friendship with the brothers is tentatively built back up after this, but it takes a bit of work. Idia’s convinced that you’re never going to want anything to do with either of them again after all that’s happened. So convinced that he nearly has a heart attack when you reach out into the group chat once you’ve had time to process things and recover.

♡ Gonna be honest, the wonderlink he gets for you and Grim becomes a huge olive branch once you’re settled back at Ramshackle. Your determination to make memories alongside not having a clue how the gaming system works leads to you either calling Idia over the phone or actually wrangling him into coming over to play with you. Whether by accident or purpose most of the games you purchased on the system he gave you are multiplayer and you insist that there’s absolutely no way just the two of you can place and that you need a gaming expert. Of course Idia sees through your poorly veiled attempts to get him to socialize, but you must have pulled some cheat code because you somehow manage to get him over to play with you two. Just be ready to have more than a few memories of losing - he’s a gaming pro for a reason, after all.

Diasomnia

♡ You’ve firmly wormed your way into the Diasomnia circle from the moment that you first encountered Malleus, whether you realize it at first or not.

♡ Mallues may not be the most intimately involved in the school's affairs or gossip, but even he’s heard talk of the prefect from another world with neither magic nor memories to their name. The lack of magical aptitude wasn’t anything to bat an eye at, though it was unfortunate given your current enrollment at one of the top arcane colleges in the world. But to have no recollections of your life prior to enrolling? In a place where no one can recognize you or give you the answers that you’re looking for? Truly, an unfortunate set of circumstances you’ve been dealt.

♡ He did not expect to cross paths with this infamous prefect on Ramshackle’s grounds not long after word of them popped up. The old bones of the place were a comfort to Malleus on many nightly walks; when he finds out that it’s no longer as abandoned as he first thought he’s sour at the knowledge that he’ll have to find another place to pass his time in peace. The last thing that Malleus expects is you being bold enough not only to approach him, but to greet him so casually as you none too subtly try to pry into what he’s doing walking around your dorm grounds.

♡ Perhaps you’ve lost more than just your memories, as there’s not even a shred of trepidation or cautiousness as you so boldly interact with the fae. Not only that but you listen, looking up at him not with the nervousness or even fear that he’s seen in the faces of most of NRC’s students, but with curiosity. You’re a stranger to this world, so you don’t yet know the name Malleus Draconia, nor the face the name is tied to. For once your lack of knowledge works to someone’s benefit, and an unusual bond is formed.

♡ Your friendship with Malleus is an interesting exchange - you provide him company and idle conversation whenever he spirits away to Ramshackle; and he provides you company in turn, as well as a willing ear for you to confide in. Sure, your friends have told you that you can talk to them about your problems, but for some reason you’re able to open up easily to Mal. Maybe it’s because of just how little you know about him, right down to his very name - he’s just as much of a blank slate to you as yourself. So you find yourself sharing your worries about where you came from, or the life you lived before this, or the general distress of not knowing the first thing to do about getting your memory back.

♡ Even after all these months it still weighs heavily on you, Malleus can see it in the tired expression that wears on your face when you recall all the things you’ve done to bring back even a shred of your old identity until your head’s pounding and your eyes ache. He hates seeing you troubling yourself over it, and more than once he’s found himself flickering through old books and tomes that haven’t been touched in centuries back home with the small hope to relieve some of that burden from your mind.

♡ On a happier note, Malleus will quite happily fill you in on subjects that peak your interest. He may have lived a fairly isolated life up until his enrollment here, but even what he does know about NRC and the world outside of it he’ll share with you, if only to see the way your expression lights up in wonder hearing everything he has to share.

♡ This dynamic changes very little, aside from the fact that now that you know his true identity these interactions are no longer purely one sided in the sense that you don’t have to wait around for him to just magically appear like you have been for months. Now he’s the one being surprised by your presence when you come knocking on Diasomnia’s doors looking to hang out. Surprising, but it honestly makes the young Draconia’s day having you march through his dorm’s halls wanting to spend time with him, encouraging him to talk about his day and asking how Roaring Drago is doing as you do so.

♡ It’s an unusual feeling, having someone’s undivided attention simply because they enjoy your company, and that you leave such an impressionable impact on their memory. Your memory is a precious commodity considering your unique circumstances, and Malleus realizes that he wants to be in as many fond memories as you’ll allow him to.

♡ Though he has to admit, Malleus can’t shake the conflict that dwells in his chest whenever the topic of your home world comes up. Perhaps it’s just in your nature to yearn for something you’ve never known, but he wonders if you’re thinking about it because your worried about your ties to this world. He hopes that once you realize the life that you’re building here, and the memories that you’re making with him and your friends will be enough to convince you to stay. But that day is far away, and so he pushes it to the back of his mind in favor of enjoying the time spent with his closest friend, for however long it lasts…

♡Lilia, catches onto the friendship you’ve got with Malleus quickly, because of course there’s no hiding how much happier Malleus has become. You’re an interesting case yourself, being able to tackle most of the problems that Ramshackle has to offer you and come out the other side as unscathed as you can be. That coupled with the increased amount of time you begin spending around Daisomnia and its students is more than enough reason to catch this guy’s attention. He learns about your memory loss early on, especially considering that it’s pretty much the talk of the school once the information drops. He won’t prod you about it like some of the younger students might, however; he’s been on this earth long enough to recognize a sore subject when he sees one.

♡ And so he sets about learning things about you in the present rather than the past. Your likes, dislikes, favorite foods, how easily shocked you get when he tries one of his infamous surprise appearances. Lilia’s very easygoing so it’s rather easy to get along with him, not to mention being a dad he’s got the comforting parental presence down pat when he wants to use it. He’s an easy person to let your guard down around, and admit things you usually wouldn’t. Maybe that’s why you end up talking to him about the what-if’s of your previous life.

♡ It’s a moment of weakness, you let one of your idle thoughts about your family back home slip, asking aloud if there’s anyone there to actually miss you. Lilia doesn’t miss the somber chuckle as you admit that you’re a little jealous - Sebek has his parents, and Silver has Lilia. You want a family like that. You try to lighten the mood by jokingly asking why someone can’t whisk you away into their family already, thinking about that time Kalim very nearly got you adopted into his family once he learned of your memory loss. You don’t expect an answer, much less for the moment to suddenly be broken as the fae pats your head ruffling your hair. No doubt he’s made your hair a mess by the action, but you’re more focused on the grin Lilia gives you when he mentions always wanting a big family - he’s sure Silver wouldn’t mind having a new sibling!

♡Unrelated but Lilia loves sharing old stories with you. Some of the things he shares you vaguely recall reading about in some history books at the library; some of those books were so old you have to wrack your brain trying to do the mental gymnastics to figure out exactly how old he is. He is thoroughly entertained seeing the mild existential crisis inducing cogs turning in your head as he continues his tales, waiting for you to inevitably jump into the story to prod him for more information. Just wait until Malleus shows you that one textbook that’s got Lilia’s portrait in; Lilia doesn’t hear the end of it when you come flying into his room mid game with the textbook in hand demanding to know how the hell he looks the same in a portrait taken centuries ago and waiting like a stubborn child next to his chair as he finishes the raid he’s working through with Gloomurai.

♡ Maybe if you weren’t so desperate for answers, you would have noticed that his friend’s gamer tag looks kinda familiar…

♡ Offered to cook you your favorite dish once. You thought it was a nice gesture, until Sebek and Silver made a joint effort to wrangle you away from the scene, basically pleading with Lilia to please not step foot into the kitchen. That’s probably one thing you’re better off not learning about…

♡ When Sebek first runs into you at NRC, he almost fools himself into thinking that you’re playing up the amnesia for some unforeseen gain. He’s not the first student to have had their doubts, and honestly you can’t entirely blame him for just how weird ‘complete memory loss aside from remembering basic functions and muscle memory’ sounds even without the whole context of this being a world governed by magic. However, what makes Sebek different is that he approaches the subject about as delicately as a falling brick. You’re only half listening as he’s demanding answers for things you don’t even know yourself, already fed up with the whole rigmarole of people throwing questions about your amnesia at you.

♡There’s only so much you can hear about memories this, hiding that before you snap back, hissing out that you’d give just about anything for it to be a lie rather than spending every night guessing where you’ve come from and who you’ve left behind while he’s got the luxury of knowing the kind of life he’s lived before this damn school. That shuts him up faster than you’ve ever seen, jaw snapping closed so hard you swear you hear his teeth click together as you turn heel and generate as much distance between the two of you as possible.

♡ He feels guilty afterwards; Sebek may be a bit of a livewire but even he knows when he’s taken things a bit too far, and it’s clear to see his prying has left you feeling more than a little bitter towards him. Thankfully team dad Lilia is right there to offer advice on smoothing things over in a way that doesn’t result in things looping back around to the original argument. It takes a little while to come to terms with the fact that Sebek genuinely didn’t mean any malice in his prodding; with him on a determined path to become a knight worthy to protect Malleus he wants to know that he can trust you before allowing any kind of potential friendship to form. The way that he went about it however was blunt and came off way ruder than intended; that’s something you can both agree on when he bellows out an apology in the middle of the damn hallway when you cross paths the next day.

♡ He comes to respect how diligently you work despite your initial setbacks coming to Twisted Wonderland with such limited knowledge. What he once thought was an attempt to pry into things for malicious gain he finds is actually just a desire to understand the world around you and the people who inhabit it. Sebek has relayed his respect to you before, in his own way, and thankfully you’ve spent enough time around him to know that he genuinely means every word of it.

♡ Will actively spur on your thirst for knowledge. The first time he lent you a book because he thought the material would give you something to think about, he fully expected it to be weeks before you’d finished. Cut to the next night and you’re unceremoniously dropping that same book onto his bedroom desk, sitting down next to him as you exclaim how cool the book was and your favorite highlights.

♡ Of course Sebek quizzes you about it, but when it’s clear you’ve actually taken an interest in the book he’s given you expect to be walking home that night with a new pile of them to pour over to your heart's content. He’s got his own passion for books, and the pair of you bond over this shared activity a lot more than people realize. Lilia almost can’t believe his eyes how quickly Sebek’s hot-blooded attitude simmers down into something more tempered whenever you come over to gush about the latest book he’s recommended to you.

♡You made a joke once about being adopted by Sebek’s parents while he was on call back home, if only to get a laugh out of the smoldering glare he shot you from the other side of the couch. That laugh however breaks out into a full on cackle hearing his parents actually agreeing with you as you shuffle across the couch and pluck the phone from Sebek’s hands while he’s frozen in shock. His mom is thrilled; Sebek, decidedly, is not, as a pillow from the couch goes sailing across the room as you flee from the scene, disappearing into Daisomnia’s halls with Sebek’s phone to tell your second adopted family all about how he’s been making them proud at NRC.

♡ Silver doesn’t miss the signs that you’ve essentially been pseudo-adopted by his father and the other Diasomnia members, though he doesn’t know that you haven’t clocked onto it yet. Considering how Malleus considers you a close confidant, Lilia is basically treating you like another one of his children, and Sebek seems to actually enjoy having you around it’s easy to think that you’ve noticed just how much everyone cares for you. And of course you care for them in return; more than once you’ve stopped by during Silver and Sebek’s training with something from the cafeteria, or you’ve brought the oddest little things you’ve found at Sam’s shop to show off how cool they are (all of which he’s pretty sure he’s seen scattered around Malleus’ room whenever you bring a new item to the dorm.)

♡ You’re quickly becoming such an integral part of Diasomnia’s life that it’s getting harder to imagine a time without you here, and these guys have become all you’ve ever known in the same way. So it’s shocking to Silver when one of the other students mentions that you’ve basically been adopted into the dorm - you’re there so much you’re practically family anyway - and he sees your reaction. You freeze, jaw slack as you process what you’ve just heard. You hardly even notice Grim swiping the sandwich Silver brought you for lunch in your shock, instead glancing up at the Diasomnia boy as if to confirm what you just heard

♡ When he gives you a confused look in return and asks why you’re so shocked since they’re right he practically watches you go through several stages of emotions, right before you’re grabbing him by the lapel of his uniform and guide him to follow you as you bolt over to Crowley’s office. The poor headmaster doesn’t hear the end of your demanding for Grim and yourself to be made honorary Diasomnia members after this. If they’re adopting you, then by the seven you’re getting it in writing from the bird man himself.

♡ Silver mentions once that he wouldn’t mind if you really were adopted into the family. It’s right as he’s on the cusp of another one of his naps, leaning up against your shoulder when he lets slip that he’d be proud to have a sibling like you without thinking anything of it - because of course it’s true, it's just a thought he hasn’t voiced out loud before. Cut to Lilia coming in a minute or two later to check in only to find his son conked out on your shoulder while you’re a blubbering mess over the fact that someone genuinely wants you as part of their family. Lilia feels only marginally bad when he reaffirms the sentiment, him casually throwing out that he already sees you as Silver’s little sibling resulting in you crying harder.

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alsfunkyalbum · 6 months ago

Text

Explaining this Sans AU of mine b/c he is haunting me 24/7 and I need to tell everyone about it

Funny thing about this guy is that he's not really a Sans, well not the Sans of his world at least. He's a little special. But to explain that we'd have to go ALLLLL the way back. So the story starts off in a world similar to that of Underswap; an Underswap variant if you will.

Backstory

This is actually Sans

(yes I know it's cropped awkwardly. It's purposeful.)

Sans here acts like your typical Swap variant. Confident, upbeat, and that relentless want and motivation to be head of the royal guard.

He lives a pretty standard and normal life in his totally normal and completely safe life in his Underswap. However, it's not really that way on the outside.

Outside of his world the player continuously plays this Underswap, over and over, but over time the player finds this boring. In order to make it less boring they start to add mods and stuff to the game to make the experience more interesting (one of the reasons why Sans looks so different from the typical Swap).

The player started small with smallish mods that mainly changed the appearance of the game, however the mods eventually grew tiring. So they kept adding and kept adding until they decided, they wanted to turn it up a notch...

They were going to delete Sans completely from the game!

When Sans was deleted from the game he didn't completely disappear. His code was just booted from the rest of the game's code, leaving him to just be there, floating... Observing...

This confused Sans immediately since he was once at home, with his wonderful (albeit lazy) brother, his amazing friends and a comfortable home then next he was merely a viewer. Unable to interact with the people he once loved, unable to follow the paths he used to, unable to live. He was only able to watch as his world continues without him.

Because of this Sans became aware quickly that his world was a complete lie. His life continued without trouble and he was forced into a harsh reality of what really happened to him in most timelines.

The world never stopped moving. But that couldn't be possible without Sans? Wrong! The game knew something was wrong when Sans was deleted. The game followed a script and the script was never disobeyed. But how? How is that possible if an entire character was missing?

Simple, the game replaced him! Since the game HAD to continue the script, it had to put something in his place. While the actual Sans walked around his world unable to do anything, the game placed a fraud in his place.

To keep the script continuing without pause or fault the game created a thing to perform the dialogue and actions that kept it going. Nobody in the world can see this thing since it wasn't made to be seen. It was made to trick the world into thinking Sans is there when he's not. It's there to be Sans when he's not Sans.

This thing was made of dark smog and smoke and had no physical form. The reason being is that despite being a replacement for Sans, the game lacked general knowledge of WHO Sans is rather than his role in the game. The game didn't know how Sans acted, how he looked, how he felt, however it knew that he was a skeleton who was a character. So this figure was never complete looking, always disfigured and ghastly.

Sans could see this figure. Sans could see the thing that took his place in this world. Sans could see the creature who's pretending to be him. However Sans couldn't ever do anything about it, since he was deleted.

So Sans would watch, and watch, and watch... Watch how the world repeated... Watch how this figure would pop in when he was meant to say or do something. Watch how his friends and family were dusted or spared plenty a time. It got boring to say the least. It was a shock at first, for sure! But overtime he got tired of relentless murder and runs, he almost wished he didn't ever 'die' then he'd never be forced to remember how it repeats.

Eventually the game started slowing down. With the constant addition of new mods, the player decided to branch to different websites for more. Little did they know this would drag along plenty of viruses and glitches into the game, causing it to constantly crash and pause.

During these pauses Sans found that the world would just stop in place. Everything froze and didn't move until the issue was fixed. It was a little scary at first, but interesting at the same time!

Another thing interesting was that when he was needed during a scene his copy was there and even when the game froze, he never left. Just like the rest of the characters his replacement was frozen, except not really. Since the replacement wasn't actually a part of the game they'd just sit there, waiting for the pause to conclude.

Sans, a little curious decided to get close to them one day. Despite its lack of distinction it was obviously they were a skeleton. This made Sans interested in this creature. Sans tried to communicate with them, which led to very little success.

The replacement didn't respond nor make any gesture of recognition to Sans. Instead they'd stay still until the game was started again and do their business. However, Sans didn't give up. He had a feeling something would change. So every time the game went under pauses or crashes and the replacement was around he'd try to communicate.

It was a struggle, especially since it had barely any good results. Eventually though, one singular timeline he managed to get something, a response even. When talking, not sure of what, Sans received his real first acknowledgement. A head tilt. The replacement tilted his head in the direction that Sans was standing.

It freaked him out at first. This quiet, stoic, scary figure gives no response then all of a sudden is giving their full attention. Even so, it motivated Sans immensely. He knew he was doing the right thing. So he continued, in every timeline afterwards.

Over time the replacement started to show signs of life. He slowly gained movement, however never once was able to gain the ability to talk. This was due to the fact that the figure was never once able to leave the script. They found ways around it though. Eventually Sans grew a little tired of calling his new friend "his replacement," so they agreed on the name Husk for them.

Sans and Husk continued to communicate and genuinely grew close to being actual friends. Sans for one felt grateful that he had someone to talk to during his deletion. And Husk was pretty open to actually meeting someone.

Sans learned quite a few things about Husk in his conversations. One, being that they're kinda in the same boat as Sans. They may look physically alive and okay, but realistically and even in code they are considered 'dead' or not real. Husk didn't have a soul, therefore rendering him as dead as Sans....

However... Sans realized something... Husk lacked a soul however he retained a body in his world... Meanwhile Sans lacked his physical connection to his world, but still has his soul... They knew what they needed to do...

Through some sort of magic (and logic since it's not completely figured how they do it) the two of them agree that they should combine together to make up for what they didn't have. They would complete each other. So that's exactly what they did.

They'd come together, fill in the gaps and create one singular, alive skeleton. With this, their combined selves created a new fresh body for them to share. They controlled this body together and shared it between each other.

Despite being a body made from the two of them, they knew this body was a whole new thing, a whole new person, so they settled on naming the body Ghost.

When they first got the body Husk and Sans agreed on taking turns using the body, so they can experience a sort of freedom on their own. While one was up and rampant the other would rest... However this plan proved faulty quite quickly when the body one day randomly collapsed due to exhaustion, forcing Husk and Sans out of control for a while. From then on, they agreed to control the body together.

Sans was stupid, Ghost was even more stupid. They struggled to hide the fact that they were not Sans at all, that their Sans was gone. Nobody in his world questioned it, but they all knew. Ghost was sure of it! Ghost was never as physically or even mentally healthy as Sans was before. He was completely different.

Before there used to be this confident, radiant being, bringing up everyone's mood and carrying the world on his shoulder. But now that character is hidden under this scared creature, paranoid about what's next, stuttering about everything, and hoarding loads of secrets. People probably noticed and if they did they never said anything.

Ghost was terrified. Being out of the world, unable to interact was definitely one thing. But being back, knowing the world and life you built around you was built on tremendous amounts of code and lies is another. While upset about this Ghost was happy to have her life back, even if she was an entirely new person.

Ghost would never admit to it though. He would never confess that he is more than just that of the blue skeleton before. They would take that lie to the grave and afterlife beyond him.

And so be it.

Remember those viruses? Those things that brought the blossoming relationship between Husk and Sans... Yep... They are also the ones that are slowly breaking the game from its core out.

The pauses and crashes from before slowly started mutating over the course of timelines, becoming far worse to handle. Instead of just the pauses, objects, places, and sometimes even people started to just entirely glitch out of existence. It wasn't too much of a deal at first but it grew surprisingly rapidly. Eventually the world as Ghost knew it, was tearing itself apart.

At this point his world was unlivable. After so many cries and goodbyes his world was gone, glitched out of existence. He lived in a white void for a while, confused and scared at his life just disappearing. Confused why he wasn't gone as well, confused why his world chose him to live, and scared on what he would do with his life. Eventually something, or rather someone showed up.

A grey kid, similar to the Chara of his world, but different. They introduced themselves and offered Ghost a new place to live. Ghost rejected their offer, choosing a different path. The child insisted, but eventually left Ghost alone, as she wished. Ghost sat there for a long time, just trying to wrap their head around the loss they experienced.

However Ghost was a little weird in terms of code. He wasn't really bound anywhere, meaning he was able to travel freely.... Unfortunately he didn't learn about that quickly and low-key kinda sucks at trying to travel to other universes. It's majorly just a flight response he gets from fear.

Relationships

Papyrus:

Of course Papyrus realized something was different about his brother. He's aware of the different universes, the fact their entire world is a game, all that nonsense…. However, he wasn't at all aware of the fact that his brother was replaced completely. When Sans was first deleted he had no clue since the game tricked his system into thinking he was still there. While he didn't see Husk, his code made him believe there was someone there. He was clueless about his brother being gone, since the game followed the script normally. However… when his brother came back as Ghost, he figured something was wrong. While the script has the ability to go a different route it doesn't happen (especially when Husk was there). Somehow, though, when Ghost came in, the script was completely different. This person was not his brother… and it was at the same time. The first thing Papyrus noticed was his brothers confused, hurt, and nervous nature… that was so different from his bro.. Sometimes though, he'd act like his bro, but he refused to get back onto script. He was so different, as if he knew something about his world that Papyrus didn't. Why did he act like this? Papyrus never pressured his brother and instead continued his life as if this change was normal. His brother(?) never cracked either. While they didn't look, act, or even speak like his brother, they still posed as Sans. Since Papyrus never probed for the answer, he never got it.

Error: To put it simply Ghost is an outcode and Error destroys outcodes. To put it deeper, Ghost enjoys Error's company even if he wants to kill him. Error attempted to attack Ghost a few days after his world was destroyed (after Ghost rejected Core Frisk's offer). However Ghost put up a sort of fight. He wasn't as good as Sans when he fought but he was pretty okay. This was the day Ghost learned of his power to travel to completely new worlds. When Ghost managed to get away it fueled Error with a new sense of motivation. Error would find a way to track down the purple skeleton and wreck havoc on the world he occupied. Everytime Error came around Ghost would just teleport away to a new place (typically out of fear). Then it happens all over in a sort of Cat-mouse chase.

Error would view Ghost as a nuisance, an annoyance, something that gets on his nerves. He swore multiple times to destroy Ghost as soon as he'd get his hands on him. He kinda enjoys the chasing, which keeps the destroying entertaining. He'd never admit to that of course.

Ghost was terrified at first at Error. He wasn't ready to die again... However he quickly learned of the other's stubborn and childish nature, even with his position. He found ways to have fun with Error, even if he's being chased to be killed. He finds a kind of comfort in Error's constant drive. He wasn't sure why and sure as hell couldn't explain it.

Star Sanses: Ghost has seen them before while accidentally showing up in random AUs. It was never by purpose that he meets them, but it just happens. He never gets too close to them, always just watching them from the side, watching as they battle or do whatever it is they are doing. Ghost is generally clueless about the entirety of the multiverse so he isn't so sure who these guys are. They're kinda cool looking so he doesn't really care much.

Dream is clueless about Ghost watching them but he can always feel the constant anxiety running in him. It confuses him a lot.

Ink is aware of the constant eyes of the skeleton. He knows who Ghost is exactly, however he just doesn't care. He doesn't think Ghost is a threat so he doesn't impose on the guy.

Swap is unaware.... Ghost doesn't like looking at Swap because it reminds him of what he used to be. What he was supposed to be.

Personality, Behavior and Quirks

Sans, Husk, and Ghost all act so different despite all of them technically being the same person.

Sans: | He/Him | Cis Man | Sexuality: N/A | 4'6ft | After the events of his AU he typically remains the same. He's confident, radiant, vibrant and as Swap as a Swap can be. However he picked up a few traits after being dead for a bit. He likes to make sure he's alive and living even if it's by small actions. He typically does this through senses. Touching, smelling, hearing, all reminds him that he's still alive and he is not gone. When in control of the body he likes to pump it up a level and see what the body can handle. It deems him as a risk taker. Sans constantly tires the body out since it can't even come close to the physical exhaust placed on Sans previously.

When they started travelling through AUs, Sans underwent the name Spirit. 1, being that he didn't want confusion amongst other Sanses. And 2, he's not too comfortable with sharing his identity so easily

He has scars all along his arms from when he was alive. He was too motivated to let a few scars from training stop his stride. So often they'd build up and keep building till the bone would chip away. When alive he'd wear compression gloves because the scars would flare up sometimes and hurt

When he was still just a ghost he'd never wear his shoes or gloves to feel closer to his world around him

He loves boots and would prefer to wear them with every outfit

His favorite color is blue and sometimes green

When he was alive he used to make all of his clothes by hand. He was never really good at fashion but he thought he was

Husk: | They/Them (sometimes he) | Agender | Sexuality: N/A | 5'7 | Husk is quiet. They don't speak. It was a habit that was picked up and was never put down. Instead they prefer to find other ways to communicate, ASL being mostly used. Husk, if in control of the body likes to be distant, alone, and blend into the background. Having a way to live and all these very alive things (emotions, thoughts, ability to communicate, etc) has them kinda overwhelmed. They don't like being in control of the body unless Sans is there controlling it as well.

They're pretty clingy and often affectionate

They doesn't like being alone that much

In his ghost form their physical body was able to morph however they felt. They could be as big and as small as they want. They sometimes use this ability to their advantage

Before when they were a puppet to the game they didn't really have any traits. They didn't have things like emotions, thoughts, etc. Since they are so new to these things they don't express much, finding it all so confusing

Their favorite colors are red and white

While quiet they aren't very shy. They like using sarcasm and sometimes come off more rude than need be

Ghost: | He/Them/Hers | Genderfluid | Sexuality: NwlNw | 5'2 | Despite just being a combination of both Husk and Sans, Ghost acts like they are their own being. It even confuses Husk and Spirit why he is so different. They are unnaturally scared all the time and constantly trembling. However underneath the shield of fear they are a jokester. They like getting into trouble and causing chaos. The body itself is unstable. It's falling apart as he walks and picks itself back up when the possibility of death is apparent.

Ghost is a coffee addict. It "calms" his nerves as he'd like to put it

They are very fidgety and often find their body was moving in some sort of way (tapping his heels against the floor, chewing on his fingers, tapping his fingers against things, rocking back and forth, etc)

He was not a pro at wearing heels and first but now he has mastered doing everything in them; from fighting to running (he still however sometimes trips)

Ghost is pretty clumsy, possibly due to the body being unstable and overall Imbalanced

He has a bad habit of passing out when under high stress or fear. He considers it (jokingly) a defense mechanism

Fashion is one of her favorite things ever. She loves always looking her best. His fashion sense is a mix between expensive, comfortable, and rich auntie/mom. However they aren't afraid to try our new styles.

Anyone who dates them is automatically considered poly (as declared by Sans)

Ghost likes to set high expectations for himself however they are scared of failure

His eyes turn blue and red respectively when Husk and Spirit step away from control (either to talk or situate something). In this phase Ghost can't do anything, see, feel, or literally be anything. However they are still conscious in this phase since Husk and Sans still occupy his head

Anatomy and Physical Features

(an official body ref has not been made yet and is still in the works)

Ghost has dark spots all over his bones. This was due to patches of his body being succumbed to Husk's mysterious figure. Along with this the body is unstable. As pictured above pieces of his body break off and float. It does eventually combine back into the rest of the body, but by then another piece of his body would have broken off. His figure repeats this. All the pieces floating off are technically dead but come back to life when they are conjoined again, leaving his anatomy in a constant dying and reviving state.

The worst of this would be his rib cage, where the bone doesn't ever reform. There is just a constant hole in his chest, leaving his soul vulnerable. Ghost, in turn, likes to wear pretty tight fit clothing, hoping it'd keep his body together. He also prefers to cover up, since they find their body both disgusting and creepy.

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So uh... Yeah.. I think that concludes the explanation. I probably forgot a few details but I can't recall anything else. So if you have any questions don't be afraid to send an ask (I would actually really appreciate it).

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