#[I can't write for shit lol]
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kikipancakes · 1 year ago
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weird ask but do you have a scar map of your characters? I really like the way you design jason’s facial scars đŸ’«
Not a weird ask at all! And thank you so much!! I'm not sure what you mean by scar map but here's my version of Jason? Sorry for the shitty handwriting BAHAHA and the drawing is rushed too
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And here's also Bruce because I have a proper drawing of him lying around HAHAHA
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turtledotjpeg · 6 months ago
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emmg · 5 months ago
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It is no hardship, Emmrich tells himself, to wear his face. It is his, after all. The one he was born with, the one that grew and shifted under his own patient gaze, seen in puddles, in mirrors, in the glass of a carriage window as he smoothed down his hair with the flat of his palm. A face he had stared at for far too long that first time he shaved, and again a few years later when he invited that very pretty boy out for a promenade and wanted, with all the force of a young man’s vanity, to be just as pretty himself—no hair astray, the kohl at his lower lids an almost imperceptible shadow, the perfume at his neck a whisper of carelessness, though in truth, nothing had ever been more deliberate.
For a decade now, they have called him distinguished. Before that, they called him handsome. He knows his face, likes his face. Its summoning should be no trouble at all; especially now, especially like this, stripped down to something more elemental, all ivory angles and nothing more. But Rook is uneasy. She does not say so—she is all sorry, shit, don’t mind me, fuck, fuck, I’ll get used to it, I’ll get used to it—but she is not made for the sight of bone in the dark when she wakes abruptly. He has had years to come to terms with the unmaking of his flesh. She has not.
So he does not miss his face, not really. But Rook does. And for Rook, he will pretend. 
No, he tells himself again, he does not mind. He does not. 
Lichdom, as he had once explained to her, sanded down most of his senses. Blunted them, rubbed them smooth. But in their place, others have surfaced. Senses without names, without proper edges, ones that slip through language like smoke through a cracked door. He cannot smell the perfume she wears, though he knows it is dreadful, some sticky, saccharine thing she bought in Treviso with Lucanis and spilled all over her shirt. But he can see her pleasure when she presses a little figurine into his palm, triumphant and insistent. This one, she affirms, is so much prettier than the first, and most importantly, not haunted. 
He watches her giddiness churn inside her, thick and writhing. It is purple, inexplicably. It loops and knots, wriggling sideways, swelling through her veins, a restless thing. It coils, slippery, around her heart before pouring from her mouth when she speaks. When she presses her lips to what passes for his cheek, he thinks he can taste it. Or something like tasting. As if she had chewed it to a pulp, crushed it between her molars, worked it down to something fibrous and wet and pressed it into him, like carrion slipped between teeth, offered as a gift. 
He swallows it, slow. 
Perhaps this is what purple has always tasted like. 
There are other things. Other feelings. They arrive misshapen, crawling over the edges of his thoughts, curious, pestering, impossible to ignore. They perplex him. They amuse him. And sometimes—sometimes—he wishes he felt nothing at all.
Like when she cuts herself, and he watches the blood spill, a slow, indifferent line along the curve of her arm. But it is not blood, not in the dull, medical sense. Not something as pedestrian as iron and salt. It is a ribbon, impossibly red, and he can see the rest of it coiled inside her, packed neatly away, waiting to be tugged. How much could he pull free before she wavers, before her lips lose their color, before the bright, stubborn thing inside her gutters out? 
He heals her arm. Does not look at her when he does it. Says nothing of consequence. 
But he wants to take that ribbon and wind it around her wrist, knot it, twist it, pull it so tight that it ceases to be a ribbon at all. Flesh yielding to pressure, pressure forcing permanence. A bracelet of skin. A smooth, bloodless seam. A correction. 
Rook thanks him. A glance, a nod—already half-gone as she turns toward Rivain. There are things to be done there for her, and he cannot stray from the Necropolis for long. What things, exactly, she does not say, but he knows their shape well enough: dragons, impulse, the peculiar magnetism of disaster. She has always been like this, drawn to the spectacularly unwise with the certainty of a moth misjudging distance. 
He can no longer follow. 
She will return. He knows this. And yet, if his hands still possessed the capacity for tremor, he suspects they would betray him now. 
"I love you, I love you, I love you," she sings, a careless, looping refrain, a child’s chant repurposed for a woman who has never quite learned to tread lightly. She chatters as she moves; this and that, something or other, a bad decision or three. She shows him rings, delicate and stolen, lifted from a dragon’s hoard, then tells him of a strange mug found in the same place and promptly lost to someone forgettable in a game of cards. 
"Look, look," she says, because excitement makes her redundant. "I kept these for you." 
The rings slide onto his fingers—bandaged, skeletal, indifferent to the distinction. He flexes them. Smiles, because each one carries an emerald, and green has always pleased him. 
"I was meaning to ask you," Rook says. She is still holding his hand, turning it gently in her own, left, right, right, left, as though testing whether it is truly there. "You are smiling now." 
"I am." 
"Don’t interrupt me." 
"My deepest apologies." 
"It was a joke," she says, but absently, without weight. Then, again, softer: "You are smiling now. But is it real? Or do I see a smile only because I expect to? Because I believe it should be there?" 
"It is quite real," he reassures her, lifting his free hand, brushing two fingers against her cheek. "The glamour does not fabricate emotions. It is a projection, not an invention. A polished pane of glass through which I am seen, rather than a mask obscuring what lies beneath. It filters nothing. It simply allows you to perceive what is still there, as it was." 
She exhales. He watches it unfurl from her mouth, a slip of breath that curls, dissipates, wrapped in green. Relief, perhaps. 
"Good," she murmurs. "That is good." 
There are things he misses more than others. Some he had not expected to mourn, believing that lichdom would cauterize the want before it could take shape. And perhaps it would have, if not for Rook. But she exists, unavoidably, and so the loss takes shape, outlines itself, defines itself against the hollow places she touches. 
The intimacy of the body: its mechanics, its heat, its crude and glorious simplicity. He misses the way skin clings, damp and sticky, the tack of sweat drying between them. The way lips grow chapped from too much kissing, saliva sapped away until the skin cracks, until the next kiss stings. He misses the raw and graceless rhythm of it, the press of her thighs around him, the slow loss of self in the churn of it all. He misses the way he could press his palm to her stomach, still sheathed within her, and feel himself there, caged by her. 
And afterward, in the languid sprawl of spent nerves and loose limbs, the way his mind would wander, taking him by the hand, showing him its little fantasies, its secreted-away indulgences—let us get married, Rook, I will buy you so much gold, let’s get married, yes, and then let’s have a child, but not immediately, not at once, let’s linger here a while, let’s lose ourselves in this, let’s glut ourselves on one another until we are utterly ruined by it, and then, yes, then, we will have that little thing.
Now, he feels her differently. Not through skin but through something more fundamental, a closeness that eclipses anything flesh ever allowed. It is fuller, sharper, deeper than anything he could have imagined. 
But it is not the same. 
And he does not yet know if he prefers it. 
Time, as always, will decide. 
Pleasure has not abandoned him. It has only changed its nature, its source, its means of arrival. Now, it exists solely through her. He sees, now, how men dissolve into drink, into smoke, into whatever tincture delivers them to sensation. The body remembers its peaks; the body conspires to reach them again. 
"Will you come for me, darling girl?" he murmurs against her ear, his fingers curling inside her as they have done so many times before—when his hands were warm, when they ceased to be. 
And she does what she always does: she writhes, she gasps, she laughs, she moves against him with the helpless, thoughtless grace of something yielding to gravity. Her hips chase the friction, her mouth parts, her breath hitches, her lashes lower, heavy with pleasure. And he—he is there inside her, feeling it as she feels it, tasting it in a way that has nothing to do with taste, swallowing it down, letting it course through him. It is vast. It is staggering. Pleasure enough for two, for more than two, enough to fill the space where he no longer exists. 
Afterward, she is breathless, boneless, staring up at the ceiling and laughing that strange, impossible laugh. He no longer tries to make sense of it. Some things cannot be translated. She has a laugh for anger, a laugh for excitement, a laugh for surprise. He thinks he knows this one well enough by now, the one that trickles out of her in the aftermath. 
A trick, an echo, the imitation of a thing once real. He kisses her where he would have kissed her once—her mouth, the sharp ridge of her collarbone, the small curve of her breast, except now there is no heat, no wet drag of a tongue, no parted lips. Only the careful architecture of a spell, a memory sculpted into sensation, something just close enough to pass for real. He trails lower, following the old pathways, the ones his hands remember even if they are no longer the same. 
She sighs. Again. Again. Another time. 
He lingers where she yields the most, where she is all pulse and warmth, where her thighs, slick and trembling, part for him before he even touches her. Where breath quickens and thought slips away. And through it, he drinks. Draws from her as he always does, as he must, in ways he does not fully understand, or perhaps does, but has decided against understanding. He takes until she is weightless, drifting, until her voice emerges in that low, drowsy enough, enough, until she exhales, unconscious of herself, shifting, turning into him, her cheek settling against his shoulder, her body already gone to sleep.
And he wonders—if he did not stop, could he empty her? 
What is it that they share, exactly? What does she give? What does he take? Is it taking at all? Perhaps she is feeding from him just as he feeds from her.
He could ask. He could go looking for the answer. It is what he has done his entire life. 
But he does not. Because the answer, whatever it may be, does not matter. Because, at his core, he knows this much to be true: 
He is an empty thing now. 
And all empty things must be filled. 
It is a dreadful experience, watching her get hurt. Dreadful in its predictability, in the casual inevitability of it. Rook, as he has come to understand, is the sort of person who leaps from a cliff first and wonders, mid-air, whether there was perhaps a gentler way down.  
He saw it in Hossberg—how she, in some fit of blind fury over a slight he can no longer remember, kicked a blight boil with all the grace of a petulant child, only for the thing to rupture, spraying its filth over her boots, her legs, her hands, her face. Later, when he spat out his anger—you could have infected yourself, and then what? Where would the Veilguard be without their leader?—she had, without hesitation, lifted her middle finger and held it aloft, like a banner, like a flag planted firmly into the dirt, a gesture so profoundly Rook that it settled the argument before it could begin.
She returns from Rivain with a sprained wrist and, predictably, does not acknowledge it until he gestures toward it, a quiet inquiry rather than an accusation. 
So he buys her things. Things with weight, with shimmer, with the ability to distract. A bottle of wine she favors, a dress the precise shade of blue that once made her pause in front of a shop window, jewelry that catches light and throws it back in a thousand fractured directions. Loud things, bright things, expensive things. The kind of things a magpie would die over. Because Rook—misnamed, mislabeled—is no rook at all, no solemn, shrewd thing perching in the rafters. She is a magpie, ever in pursuit of the next gleaming fragment, the brightest piece of a broken world. That is why she is away, isn’t it? Always away. Always chasing.
But Nevarra has more gold than the Rivaini coast. 
He wants to say—won’t you stay? Won’t you, at last, stay longer? But there is something perilous in the asking. The wrong phrasing, the wrong weight to his voice, and she will fold up like a map, unreadable, distant, already turning toward the door.
She lifts a necklace, lets it spill through her fingers, a thin chain pooling in her palm. "Ooooh," she hums. "What’s the occasion?" 
"I have missed you terribly," he says. "You were away too long." 
"I missed you too." 
"Then stay. My townhouse is yours, of course. It is in the heart of the city—" 
"But you won’t be there," she interrupts, without sharpness, without accusation. A simple statement of fact. "You’ll be in the Necropolis."
"Then stay with me in the Necropolis," he says, more softly. 
She looks at him. Long enough for him to grow aware of the silence. Long enough for him to think he ought to say something more, to fill the space with some innocuous remark, something to break the weight of it—a comment on the weather, the slow drip of rain against the windowpanes, the scent of damp stone, the candlelight shifting across her cheek, the peeling corner of the wallpaper he has been meaning to mend but never does. 
Then, at last, in a whisper, as if she is considering each word before releasing it: 
"I'm trying." 
A breath. 
"I'm really, really trying. I love you so much. This frightens me, but I love you, and I'll stay longer, I promise, and you needn’t hide your face, no, no, you can stop hiding it now, but it is so terribly cold here, and I can smell the bones, Emmrich, did you know one can smell bones?" 
Senseless, rambling little words, leaving her mouth with no regard for order, no real expectation of being understood. He listens anyway. He nods as if these words, specifically, are the ones he has been waiting to hear. He holds her hands, pressing his fingers lightly over hers, as though reacquainting himself with the shape of them, the bones beneath the skin. And this time—this time—she stays.
He does not move. Does not speak. Instead, he lets the moment settle around him, lets it press in from all sides, cautious and weightless, as if sudden motion might send it scattering. A trick of the mind, surely, nothing more than habit, the vestigial longing of a body that no longer exists. And yet—something, something faint and absurd and wholly impossible—something like warmth uncoils in the vacant spaces of him, and for the first time in too long, he allows himself to believe in the illusion. 
And he is happy, so terribly, foolishly happy, until she steps where a step should have been, onto stone that no longer exists, because the Necropolis, fickle and treacherous as ever, decides to shift beneath her. One moment she is there, cursing the cold, flicking dust from her sleeve, and the next she is gone, swallowed into the dark, falling before he can reach for her. Then—impact, the sound of something snapping, something that should not snap. 
"Oh, for fuck’s sake," she spits, voice sharp with pain, her frustration seething through clenched teeth. "I hate this fucking place. This miserable, shifting, plague-ridden, necrophiliac fucking mausoleum. This—" she swallows, gasps, rage momentarily overtaken by the white-hot shock of agony, then forces the words out, savage and breathless—"this godsdamned, dusty, corpse-stinking labyrinth of a tomb. Fuck this place. Fuck you for living in it. Fuck this floor for moving. Fuck my fucking leg." 
She hisses even as she cries, squeezing her eyes shut as if trying to will the hurt out of her body. He sees, at last, what has happened. A break, and not a clean one: bone slick and white against torn skin, jutting through muscle, her blood already thickening where it pools on the stone. 
And then—something strange. A pull, an unraveling, something unwinding before him, leading away. The ribbon again, unspooling, slipping from her, stretching outward, as though guiding him somewhere he does not wish to go. His vision narrows. He follows it. He follows it because he cannot help but follow it. 
"Emmrich?" Her voice has changed. The heat is gone, as is the anger. She sounds uncertain now. She sounds concerned. "Emmrich, are you—?" 
But he is looking at the ribbon. Watching where it leads. Watching where it ends. 
And he would weep if he could. 
He has spent his life in a state of want, always reaching, always grasping, always aching to be something necessary to someone. And now—now, at last—he has what he has longed for. Rook, quick and wild and untouchable. Rook, who was born lovely and careless and beautiful, who could have wrapped herself around anyone she pleased but chose, instead, him—old and grey, and then, simply, bone. Rook, with her hands always outstretched, her eyes always searching, who once told him, so offhandedly he almost believed she didn’t mean it, that she would have given him a child.
Now—now, she sits before him, cursing under her breath, her leg twisted, her blood sliding across the stone, and he understands, too suddenly, too clearly, that he cannot keep her. 
One day, that ribbon will slip from her entirely. 
And he will be wanting again, except this time, there will be no remedy, no second chance, no indulgence to dull the ache. 
Because she—she—the only thing that has ever fit the hollow inside him, will be gone.
A year. Ten. Twenty. Perhaps less. Perhaps more. 
She will be gone. 
Gone, gone, gone. 
"It will not break again," he tells her.
"Really?" she asks, pale from hurt.
"Truly."
He stands, glances over the chamber, and selects a sconce, its veilfire guttering weakly within its iron frame. He snuffs it out with a flick of his wrist, wrenches the metal free from the wall, and lets it sag into liquid in his palm. The Necropolis will not miss it. It devours offerings every day; what is one more? The molten iron shifts, pulses, rolls like living mercury as he shapes it between his fingers. She watches, suspicious, wary, but when he takes the pain from her, she sighs, slackens, her body a thing that yields, a thing that trusts. 
Bone is simple. A structure, a framework. Break it, mend it, break it again. He has done this before, he will do it again, and the body always obeys in the end. With a slow push, he sets her leg back into place. Crack, crack, crack—shattered edges realign, splinters withdraw, raw ends fuse like wax pressed to wax. He sees the place where the bone has chewed its way free, white and wet against the torn meat of her calf. 
He presses his fingers into the wound, past the sealing skin. The iron above them stirs at his will, stretching like a cat in the air before obeying, flowing down, clinging to the surface of the bone. Not inside it, no. That would be crude, inelegant. Instead, it forms a layer, thin but solid, a second skeleton over the first. It cools as it settles, solidifies, binds itself to her as if it had always belonged there. He guides it lower, shaping it over her tibia, letting it follow the curve of her ankle, turning his wrist slightly to direct it sideways, until the fibula is covered as well, safe beneath its new armor. There.
The final shreds of her wound pull themselves shut, sealing over his work, concealing what has been done. 
She shifts her foot, tilting her head, considering. "Oh," she says. "I suppose I'll be heavier now." 
He kisses her cheek and feels the faint shift of muscle beneath his lips, the small, secret curve of her smile. This time, for once, her happiness has no color. Not gold, not red, not that strange, shimmering violet he sometimes sees curling from her ribs. Just happiness, unembellished, undisturbed. And because she feels it, he believes it, and because he believes it, he takes it for himself, drawing her close.
"I am so, so happy that you are safe," he hears himself say, a confession with no real shape, a drunken speech without the mercy of intoxication. "I worry when you are gone, and I worry when you are here. It seems that no matter what I do, something always finds you first." 
She hums, arms looping around him, her fingers idly mapping the planes of his back, tracing aimless patterns into the fabric of his robes. "I don’t know what to say to that," she admits, her voice softened by exhaustion, by the slow retreat of pain. "But I am so, so happy with you too. And it’s all right, it’s all right. Every time I break, you can repair me." She pauses, then adds, utterly deadpan, "Guess that makes you my skele-tonic."
It is an objectively terrible pun. 
"Until you stop breaking altogether," he murmurs. 
Another hum, vague, thoughtless. 
He draws from her as he always does: pleasure, warmth, something deeper, something without a name, though it must have one, must have been cataloged somewhere, written down by some scholar who spent his life studying things that could not be grasped. He has never fully understood what it is he takes, only that it belongs to her, and that, by some quiet, unspoken permission, it is his as well. He wants to love her forever. But more than that, he wants to ensure that forever remains within reach, that it does not remain, as so many things have, just outside his grasp, dissolving the moment he closes his fist. 
He has spent too long watching what he yearned for unravel before he could fasten it down. This, he will not allow. It will take gold, it will take iron, it will take something far stronger, something absolute. Until she ceases to break. Until breaking is no longer a possibility, a concept, a word that has anything to do with her. 
He does not yet know how. But he has time—too much of it. More than she does. And he has always been a man of precision, of hypothesis and proof, of elegant solutions to insufferable problems. He will find a way. Through metal or magic, through that ribbon of red that keeps slipping from her, unspooling itself in slow increments, always trying to get away. He will take it, force it back into place, stitch it to the marrow, fix it with something incorruptible, something permanent, something that cannot be unwound without unmaking her in the process. 
He presses a kiss to her temple, then to her forehead, and speaks of flowers. The new blooms in the Memorial Gardens. Hideous, by all accounts. She will adore them. She appreciates beauty, certainly, but she loves foolishness even more. He kisses her cheek, the tip of her nose, her small, stubborn chin, and feels it again—that bright, quiet thing. Happiness. 
And, miraculously, when he takes a piece for himself, it does not feel stolen. 
"Enough, enough," she murmurs at last, the same word twice, as she always does when she needs a break from him, when she has given too much, when she feels him pulling, drinking, taking in excess without meaning to. Laughter ghosts beneath the words, thin but present, a reminder that she is still here, still whole. She taps his wrist with two fingers, light, quick, final—a gesture that, for all its carelessness, feels uncannily like closing a book. 
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wikiangela · 1 year ago
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It's a quiet evening, they're winding down after a long, exhausting day of work, just enjoying each other's company. They're on the couch, a cheesy romcom playing on the TV, Tommy's head in Buck's lap, Buck's fingers playing with Tommy's soft curls.
He's watching Tommy more than the movie. He observes his reactions, the soft smiles, the small chuckles, the eye rolls and scoffs - depending on what's happening on the screen. He's so beautiful and Buck wants to stare at him forever. And he gets to.
He beams, as he glances at his hand, still in Tommy's hair, where a simple silver band sits right on his ring finger, an exact match to the one on Tommy's hand, now casually resting on his stomach. Well, almost an exact match, the inscription on the inside just a little bit different - they both say their wedding date and the word 'forever' but they also have each other's names inscribed. Buck likes to take if off sometimes and just look at the words, trace his fingertip over Tommy's name, still amazed that this is his life, even after over a year of being married already.
So he observes his husband, eyes scanning all over, while Tommy's completely immersed in the movie, the romantic dork - Buck loves that he's the only one who truly gets to see this side of him. He's so cute and gorgeous, and Buck loves him so much and just can't take his eyes off him.
That's when he notices it, and a gasp breaks out of him. He can feel a huge grin pulling at his face.
"What's wrong?" Tommy immediately looks at him, a small concerned frown creasing his forehead. When he notices Buck smiling, worry turns into pure confusion. "Evan?"
"Baby." Buck says seriously, his fingers gripping a strand of Tommy's hair, as he announces happily, "You have your first gray hair." He's looking right at it, just a tiny, barely noticeable, silvery hair. It's there, and it looks beautiful, and Buck already kind of can't wait to see his husband get more of them.
"Okay?" Tommy's frown deepens, this time with amusement. "So?"
"So-" Buck starts, then shakes his head. It's stupid, it's just a hair, no big deal, everyone gets them eventually, it's nothing special. But in a way, it is. Because when they met a few years ago Tommy didn't have gray hair. Because in their line of work, and with their luck, with Buck's luck, seeing yourself or a person you love grow old is not always a given - and it's such a blessing. This, seeing a gray hair in Tommy's hair, combined with wrinkles starting to form on his beautiful face - it's an amazing sight. They're sharing a life together, growing older together, they're able to see each other go through all these changes, step by step, day by day, seemingly unnoticeable unless you pay particular attention. It makes Buck feel so grateful for this life he has, for his husband, for getting this chance. "Nothing," he says, fingers resuming combing through Tommy's thick curls, eyes still drawn to that lone gray hair. "I just love you."
"I love you, too, Evan." Tommy smiles that crinkly smile that makes the lines around his eyes even more pronounced. Buck has to lean down and kiss his lips, then the corner of his eye, making Tommy laugh. "What's that have anything to do with my gray hair?"
"I just really like the thought of getting to grow old with you. Of spending my life with you." Buck whispers, and sees Tommy's smile melt into that soft 'Evan' smile, reserved just for him.
"And you say I'm sappy," he responds teasingly, and Buck laughs. Oh, he loves Tommy so much. He looks into Tommy's eyes and sees everything he was just thinking about. He sees how Tommy wants the same things, how he appreciate those reminders, like a silly gray hair, of getting to go through life together.
He kind of can't wait to start going gray, too. To grow old with his husband.
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dollsome-does-tumblr · 14 days ago
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do you think it's weird or unfounded to not want to use chat gpt due to the environmental cost? i feel really strongly that i want to completely avoid it (and, like, recreational/work related ai in general) for that reason, but people seem to think this is really weird when i express that as a reason. but i feel like i should be able to make this call if i want to and that's a good reason to not use it. i don't know?!?!?! i don't get anything anymore?!?!?!
#my workplace is really leaning heavily ai#and people keep seeming to think that i too will use it#and i'm always just like 'NO!!!!!!!'#so far no one has pushed me on it and it's not required at all#but idk. is it going to stop being our call & become mandatory one day? D:#because (and i know this sounds so weird) morally i don't want to touch it!#this reminds me of one time when i was in acting class in college#and the prof was out so a TA was teaching#and we were playing a game where everyone had to repeat what everyone else had said and then add something on#and when it got to me i refused to do it because there were a bunch of swear words and i don't -- alas -- cannot -- swear#and i got in trouble with the TA and almost got kicked out of class lol#(but the other students stood up for me so i didn't!)#i get very rigid about things and i'm like 'sorry can't EVER do it!'#the swearing may be. ya know. completely morally neutral.#(though i still don't swear anything that can't be said on old timey network tv! because i'm weird!)#but i feel like i have way more of a case with this chat gpt stance#dollsome's deep thoughts#p.s. does this way of my brain operating suggest some profound neurodivergence?#i often wonder.#society told me swearing was bad when i was a kid and i've internalized it FOREVER.#i said 'shit' once when i was like 10 (in homage to a line delivery from mrs doubtfire!)#and then i cried inconsolably for like two hours and never swore again#(this was totally internally enforced btw. i don't have any memory of any adults ever caring whatsoever.)#even to this very day i wouldn't even swear alone.#does my brain work like that of merricat from we have always lived in the castle? maybe a little.#these tags have gone a lot of places#the point is. i think it's okay to be anti-chat gpt for moral reasons. and also coolness reasons.#and swearing = fine obviously. but not my style.#unless i'm writing and then there's no rules obvi
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lucasandlily · 7 months ago
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Rui x Reader who is really affectionate, but can't touch him because of The Curse.
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A/N: I'm alive!! Rui my beautiful beautiful tragic boy. I've actually been having a lot of brainrot for this game, particularly an isekai AU that made me contemplate making RP blog (I love you guys btw. This is probably my first fandom where they're so active, I've been really well connected with this fandom somehow and it's so fun!!), so I figured I might as well be writing it down now. This is an idea I've had spinning in my head for a while, so it's VERY self-indulgent/insert, but enjoy!! AO3 link here
Rui's POV. Second-person pronoun "You" is used. Angst! But also fluff!! (825 words)
You’ve always been an affectionate little thing. It’s something Rui finds adorable about you, staying optimistic despite all that looms over you, not letting any of the ghouls he KNOWS can be more than a little much sometimes destroy your positive attitude. It’s as if you decided to be the light in a place that literally has dark in its name, and he lov admires you for that.
He can’t help but feel the bitter green of envy though, when he watches you ruffle Lyca’s hair after he whines at you for treating him like a dog. 
He pointedly turns away from the look Ed gives him over your head when you relax into his chest after he leans over your shoulder.  
He just laughs along at your drunken antics when you nuzzle into Haru’s hand, somehow even more touchy when your cheeks are flushed with alcohol. 
He tries not to remember the flash of hurt, confusion, the first time he’d backed away from your hand when all you wanted to do was give him a pat for a job well done. He doesn’t know if it hurt more when your face morphed into regretful understanding, or when you apologised and told him you’d try not to do it again. 
Rui tells himself it’s for the better when he notices you’ve been avoiding him for the past week. He’d have done the same to you anyway, if he realised his feelings were starting to fester. He tries to not let it get to him when he hears you enter the Obscuary mansion, only to quickly patter up the stairs without stopping by the bar first, as you would have done previously. 
Maybe before, he would have made it a little competition to see who could mess up the other’s hair more. He’d watched you run your fingers through Lyca’s after you’d tousled it out of place, anyway. Maybe in another life, you’d gently hold his face as you showered him with kisses. He’d do the same to you anyway, if he wasn’t forced to keep his hands to himself. 
If he didn’t notice you hold your hand back every time you saw his mask slip. If he didn’t see your hand stop short before pulling it back to tell him he had a bit of hair out of place. 
It’s all just part of the cursed life, he tells himself. He should be getting used to it by now, he sighs as he walks down the hall over to his room. 
Behind him, he hears the jingle of the bell you like to wear on your keychain. He turns at the sound of your quick steps approaching. 
“Rui! Ruiruiruiii!!” You call.
“Ah, there you are! Haha, I’m not going anywhere you know~ though I guess I don’t mind being chased?” He teases as you approach. 
You smile up at him brightly, “I have something to show you!” You tell him, he notices now that you have a hand behind your back. 
“Hm? Aw, did you get me a gift? And here I was thinking you were hiding from me!” He regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth. Your smile falters a bit as you blink at his confession. 
But before he can backtrack with a “Just kidding!” your smile lightens again, eyes filling with some sort of resolve as you pull out
 a glove on a stick? in your other hand.
He doesn’t pull away when he feels the simulation of a hand on his head. He can’t, when you look into his eyes with such unmistakable fondness. The awkward, stilted movements as you try to run the imitation hand through his hair communicates how long you’ve wanted to do this, and the tears that well up in his eyes betray how much he’s needed it. 
He feels the cloth soak up the tears when you move the glove down to hold his face. It feels soft under his skin, and he can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. 
“How long did it take you to make this?” He asks as you let him lace his fingers with your hand extension. He squeezes the plush hand, feeling the soft give before it reaches the stick inside, inspecting where the glove and stick are attached. 
“Um! A week? It took a bit of experimenting to get it to stay on
 And they don’t really sell gloves on campus either.” 
Your eyes crinkle when you look at him, the corners of your lips pull up triumphantly when he lets go of the hand to let you pat his head again. 
“You deserve at least this much,” you tell him. “I know it’s not really the same or anything, but I don’t wanna leave you out, y’know?” 
“It was worth it though, if it made you happy.” You look into his eyes as you say this, and he can’t help but believe you.
Reblogs and Comments are appreciated! I love you (⁠◍⁠‱⁠ᮗ⁠‱⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。
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archangeldyke-all · 2 months ago
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there are such beautiful wonderful creative requests in my inbox i would love to write but unfortunately i'm using 100% of my energy to not turn into a puddle of fucking tears today lmao
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artblocked · 4 months ago
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Fucked up creature that spawns from the Ultimate Weapon after four souls stew in it for God knows how long honestly
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bentnotbroken1fanfiction · 5 months ago
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Ok. ok. So. I'm working on one of the writing prompts I got recently. Fadel has a nightmare where his ex is dead and he turns into Style during the nightmare. So when he wakes up they have comfort sex about it....
But here's the thing, guys. It's going to be Fadel asking Style to top him because he wants to know it's real. He wants to FEEL him. OMG I can't.
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kittlesandbugs · 2 months ago
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FHR: Willful projections Pairing: Chargestep, Sidestep days Warnings: Nothing much, just a chat Word Count: ~700 Summary: Riley learns her powers have changed while she has breakfast with Ortega at a restaurant after the Nanosurge.
“You okay?”
Your head hurts. It's nothing new, especially since you saved the city from the Nanosurge. The migraine after that split your skull like an overripe melon has receded, at least. A week at the ranch with Ortega provided minimal aggravation, a chance for your raw mind to scab over. Heal a little. You think you're getting better. You really hope you are. 
“Riley?”
You rub your forehead, trying to lessen the pressure mounting inside. There are eyes all around you, looking, always looking, staring, dissecting, because Ortega draws eyes anywhere he goes. The attention is more intense, too intense for your sensitive mind. You weren’t ready to be in a crowded restaurant again like this, not yet. Ever, if you’re honest with yourself. You never should have let things get this far. Mask off. Hanging out in public. Face seen. Only a matter of time before it ends up on the front page of some gossip rag. You feel their thoughts teaming inside your skull like ants, speculating inanities like always. He would be flattered, but all you can do is sit there and shake.
If only everyone would just stop looking at you. 
“Mierda
 what did you
”
The pressure release is almost instant, and you sigh softly with relief, relaxing, until the sudden hand on your shoulder nearly makes you scream. Your eyes snap open to find Ortega leaning over the table just inches in front of you, brown eyes furrowed with concern.
“What did you do?” he asks in a harsh whisper, like he can be covert surrounded by this many people.
“What are you talking about?” you grouse, shoveling a bite of your cooling eggs into your mouth.
He gestures widely with his hands, and your eyes track along with him to find the entire restaurant silent, looking pointedly away from you.
What the
 Fuck
 
“It was you, right?” he hazards cautiously, and you shrug in response. His gaze turns shrewd as he tries to piece things together. “What were you just thinking about?”
“That I wanted everyone to stop looking at me
” you admit quietly, eyes flicking around to find that the only one unaffected is Ortega. So it has to be you. It has to be your telepathy. Nothing else would make sense. “But this is impossible, I've never—”
“You did," he interrupts, tapping your forehead softly. “The beach, remember? You made them stop.”
You stare down at your eggs, his scrutiny hitting you in a place you haven't felt in four years. “I
 guess
” you mutter eventually. There really is no other explanation. 
You like this quiet around you. No one looking. No one perceiving you. But the strain of the size of the barrier you instinctively threw up is starting to take its toll. You need to dial it back if you want to maintain it. You follow the edges of your field, thankfully not far outside the bounds of the building, and try to shape it like you would your mental shield, a little thought void exactly where you need it and no further.
“You can project now," he says softly, as the bubble you’ve made pulls back to just your table. The restaurant comes back to life around you, but your table is ignored like it’s empty. The waitress that had been getting him a fresh coffee walks right on by, and he doesn't even try to flag her. 
When you look up at him again, the wide wonder in his eyes makes your face feel hot. “It’s not a big deal, stop making it one,” you say plaintively, rubbing your head again.
He scoffs a laugh, refusing to let you off the hook. “It is a big deal, you idiot. Don't you tell me it's not. This is incredible. What else can you do?”
You shrug and tuck back into your food. “I'unno
” you garble around your toast, piled high with too much jelly. Your sugar cravings have definitely gotten worse. Now you know why the increased energy has been needed. Your telepathy has always had a high demand for carbohydrates, and you feel yourself bolstering again as you eat.
What else can you do? You're sure you'll find out, one way or another. The real question is, how much will you keep growing?
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hailsatanacab · 1 year ago
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I'll ask after that secret number 8!
I only remembered secret number 8 because I saw your wip here! I'd started this one based on the same prompt, then lost said prompt and stopped working on it 😅
Instead of a snippet, I'm just dropping it all here - maybe that way I'll feel inspired to finish it?
———
It’s a full house for dinner tonight and, really, that should have tipped him off.
Bruce sits at the head of the table, smiling softly as he watches over everyone’s antics. Damian is regaling Dick with everything they saw at the zoo that day (Danny had been so happy to see Delilah the purpleback gorilla again, and her new little additions to the troupe, too!) and how well they are implementing the grant the Wayne Foundation had gifted them. Tim, Steph, Cass, and Duke are all engaged in a thumb-war tournament which Danny has no interest in participating in. It just wouldn’t be fair on them.
Danny loves that look. The one where Bruce’s eyes crinkle when he thinks none of the kids can see him. It oozes love and it makes Danny’s heart, his core, ache. 
It’s been a little over a year since Alfred found him on the street and managed to wrangle him back to the manor to stay—even after the whole biting thing when he realised how rich they were. 
A little over a year here and Danny’s starting to feel like family.
Starting to feel like he might, just maybe, like to make it official.
“Danny,” Bruce says, drawing everyone’s attention. Danny starts at his name, but Bruce’s voice is warm and calm, and his shoulders lose their tension almost immediately. “Danny, I have something I would like to tell you.”
“Uhhh
” is all Danny can croak out, eyes flicking back and forth between Bruce and the rest of them. Smooth. Looking good, Danny.
Except
 they’re all happy. All smiles, all relaxed body language, all radiating calm and love and acceptance. Well, not Damian—his face is as thunderous as it always is—which at least means it’s nothing too out of the ordinary.
“Danny, first of all, I just want to impress upon you that this is in no way something you have to do. You are under no obligation to join us and, no matter what, you shall always be welcome with us in the manor.”
Wait, what? Danny squints at Bruce, trying to parse exactly what he’s saying
 Is he—is this them asking to adopt him? Do they want to make it official, too? 
It’s been a little over a year and of course Danny has imagined calling Bruce ‘Dad’. Of course he’s imagined being part of the family, of course he wants to make it official!
He can’t help the beaming grin or the bright and bubbling “Yes!” already waiting on his lips. All Bruce has to do is ask, all Danny needs to hear is—
“I’m Batman.”
The smile freezes on Danny’s face.
His lungs stop working, his heart stops working, he stops working, he just—
“And I’m Nightwing,” Dick smiles, breaking the awkward silence. 
Danny’s eyes snap to him, and then down to Tim when he admits to being Red Robin. Duke is Signal, Steph is Spoiler. Damian begrudgingly tells him he’s Robin, but Danny can barely hear it over the ringing in his ears.
“I’m Black Bat.” Cass cocks her head, almost looking concerned. It always felt like she understood him the most. Whenever he was feeling low, too in his memories, or stewing after a nightmare, she was always there, ready to card her fingers through his hair and never mention his tears. It makes his heart ache to think of it now. “It’s okay, Danny.”
It’s meant to be reassuring, but how—how can it be okay? How? 
Danny’s spent a little over a year with them. A little over a year with Batman. 
Batman, who works with the Justice League, who works with

A little over a year. 
Just under 16 months since he escaped.
“Danny? Are you alright?” Bruce asks
Finally, his lungs kickstart and suck in a shuddering breath, only for everyone to drop their smiles.
Didn’t take them long, did it? Now that their ruse is up, there’s no kindness in their eyes, they’re just
 cold, calculating. Evaluating. 
“Why?” Danny gasps, his fingers tingling, his heart in his throat.
Just under 16 months since he—has he escaped? Or was this just another one of their experiments?
"I... I trusted you, why—" Danny chokes back a sob, gritting his teeth as his shoulders shake. Why? Why would they do this? "I was happy here, with you. I thought... Weren't you happy?"
"Danny..." Bruce is looking at him, eyes narrow and eyebrows pinched, in some cruel facsimile of confused concern and all Danny can think is how much of an actor he is. How well he can play the part of a doting father. How much he made him want that.
"I don't understand, why..." 
"I'm sorry we didn't tell you before, I can imagine that it comes as a shock. We shouldn't have lied to you, Danny, but—"
"Stop it!" Danny slams his hands down on the table and pushes himself up on wobbly legs. Even standing, he feels so small. Smaller than Bruce, than all of his adopted siblings. They crowd above him when they all stand, too. "Just stop it! Why are you doing this, why are you still pretending? Stop it!"
It was easier, with Danny's biological parents. The knowledge that they'd do anything to get him on a lab table, to open him up and see what makes him tick, to rip him apart molecule by molecule, had always been there. He knew they hated ghosts. He knew they hated Phantom. He knew they hated him. It was easier because it was something he'd known all his life. When he died, when he became a ghost, he knew what to expect from them. It hurt, of course it did.
But it was easier than this.
"Danny, I'm going to need you to take a deep breath. You're having a panic attack and you need to breathe."
"Breathe?" Danny laughs, the sound harsh and choking, too high pitched in his hysteria. "You're joking, right? Or is this just more of the—the experiment?"
"Danny, please, we don't know what you're talking about, you—"
"You don't know? You're Batman! You work with the Justice League, you work with—" His words choke off as his stomach churns, bile rising in his throat. His whole body itches, screaming at him to leave, he can't go back, he can't, he can't, he can't!
Bruce takes a hesitant step forward and Danny scrambles back, his feet catching on the chair behind him and sending him careening to the floor. Where are the agents? Why aren't they swarming in, ready to apprehend him, strap him back on the table, carve him from the inside out.
"Please, Danny, calm down. We don't—"
Danny stops listening. His back hits the wall and he pulls his knees into his chest, his shoulders dipping down as he begins to sob. His heart throbs inside his throat, too painful to swallow around. Tears fall hot and heavy on his face.
Sure, he could run. He could phase out through the wall and he could be out of Gotham in a couple of hours. He's escaped the GIW once, he can do it again.
But that was before Batman knew who he was. Before he had the World's Greatest Detective on his tail.
Before he... 
He really thought this would be different, you know?
He wanted to make it official.
"Why did... Why were you so nice to me? Why did you make me like you? I really—I really liked you. I-I thought we could be a family."
"Danny, we are a—"
"Don't lie to me!" Danny snaps, but the force of his anger leeches all the fight from him, and suddenly all that's left is a bone-weary tiredness. There’s a lump in his throat that hurts. There’s a line down his chest that burns. "I don't care. I don't care anymore, I don't. Just... don't make me go back there. Please." 
Is it futile? He thought he knew how the GIW operated by now, the depths that they would go to achieve their results, but this... this was a whole new level of pain that Danny thought he had left behind him in Amity.
"We're not going to make you go anywhere, Danny, you're safe here, I promise."
"Safe? Safe? You must have—" he takes a deep breath, tries to stop the quivering of his voice. It’s all starting to make sense, now.  "The reason you're telling me who you are is because you must have told them everything already. I know the Justice League—I know you're working with them, which means the ex-experiment is over now, and they're coming to take me back. And I can't go back."
"Danny—"
"I can’t!” Danny glares at Bruce with all the rage he can, fingernails digging into his skin. “I’m not going back!"
"That's right, you're not going back, Danny. I won't let that happen." Bruce crouches down in front of Danny, his hands open and raised as if he's trying to say he's not a threat. "I don't know who you're talking about, and I'm sorry about that, but I can promise you that you’re not going back there. We will keep you safe."
Danny pulls himself closer, tucks himself further into the wall, eyes flickering all across the room waiting for that tell-tale flash of white as the agents start to swarm.
He should take his chances now and run, he should go, he needs to go!
The rest of them, his brothers and sisters of a little over a year, are spread out, giving him and Bruce some space. The same concern colours all of their faces. Why are they still pretending?
Steph is chewing on her thumb. 
Danny liked Steph and her brash confidence, her jokes. She's been promising to paint his nails for months now, they've just never found the time. He was going to go for green and black, or maybe a galaxy theme, depending on what she felt comfortable doing.
He likes them all.
"You were supposed to be my family." His mouth turns down at the corners and his voice shakes like a child. "You were supposed to—why? Why would you—I don't understand why you would make me like you..."
"This isn't an experiment, Danny," Bruce's voice is steady, soothing. "I promise."
"But you work with them and—"
"Who do I work with?"
"The Justice League."
"Yes, I do, but we—"
"And the Justice League works with them. The GIW." Danny trembles with the name, clutching tightly onto his hoodie. "I'm not going back there, Bruce."
Danny doesn't miss Bruce's look over his shoulder, nor Tim's nod in return. Tim turns slightly to the side to hide his movements, but Danny bets he has his phone in his hand, probably letting them know they can take him now. Guess this is it, then. They'll be here soon, and he'll be gone.
"Kill me."
"Danny? What do—"
"If you ever had any kindness for me, if you ever cared, kill me. Please, Bruce. I can't do it again."
"Danny..."
"End me now. Take my core out and break it, please, before they get here."
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shannonsketches · 1 year ago
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The way I will simply never recover from this page:
Vegeta's Panic and then IMMEDIATE affection for his new baby
Vegeta being excited to have a daughter
Goku assuming his wife Magic'd their children out of herself
Supreme Kai being embarrassed for Goku
Beerus getting wasted
Bulma saying she will raw dog her husband frequently and expeditiously with her whole chest, in front of god and everybody
Whis being like 'i gotchu babe 💅 but i gotta borrow ur man first or there'll be no more boning for anybody lol'
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thatcrazycrowgirl · 3 months ago
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Hey, babes!! đŸ„°đŸ«‚
I saw your requests were open and thought I'd DROP IN UNANNOUNCED (hope you caught the ref 😂💖)— anyways, I REALLY want to see more of your writing around, dear! 👀💗
If you could pretty pretty please write a fluffy or even slightly nsfw ficlet for Jacob Frye (gn reader is completely fine), you would have my heart!
No pressure, don't rush, write what you're comfy with and have the best day. Lots of love and warm hugs đŸ„°đŸ’–đŸ«‚
Hello there! <3
First off, I want to apologize for not being around in forever to finish this, but I was back in the AC mindset, so I really wanted to. So, if you're still around, I appreciate your patience! I think I ended up venturing a bit more into the slightly nsfw territory, rather than a purely fluffy one, but I hope you still like this regardless!
Thank you for sending something in, and for your kind words! ^_^
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It started out surprisingly subtle; a brush of a hand, a tiny tug on a sleeve, locking your eyes with his as you lightly blew on his dice.
It didn't take long for the surprisingly observant Jacob Frye to catch on to what you were doing...and even more to the fact that being in the middle of a high-stakes game, he couldn't do anything about it.
Yet, something about that forced restraint oddly thrilled him.
With the slightest of movements, his hand slipped onto your knee, before making itself at home on your thigh, gently squeezing and fondling and forcing you to conceal a flustered smile.
You had hoped to be the one in control of the current situation, but with one glance at the smug look on his face, it was clear that the gang leader was determined to flip your plans in his favor.
Not to be outdone, you briefly mulled over a rather risky idea - wondering if you could get away with it without anyone noticing. (Thank goodness the pub was rather dimly lit.)
You mimicked his earlier action, but starting at his thigh instead and creeping your fingers dangerously close to his crotch. You saw his shoulders twitch and his Adam's apple bob from a swallow when your digits finally made contact with his most sensitive area, but otherwise, he appeared to not be affected at all. His eyes hadn't looked at you in minutes.
You had to admit, you were a little disappointed at not getting a bigger reaction.
Becoming a little braver, you brushed your fingertips over his groin again, a hint of a smirk appearing on your lips when you felt a familiar twitch against them. You ventured just a bit lower.
Yes, you were certain you had him. Control was once again yours.
Of course, you weren't expecting what he'd say next; a hushed question into your ear that made your entire face go red, losing the private game you two were playing.
"Checking if my dice are loaded, love?"
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lafaiette · 8 months ago
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Guys, I'll be honest, I'm not really feeling it
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zolo-san · 1 month ago
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hey @ people who write long fics/chapter fics: what do you do when you have a fic idea and you've got a lot of good stuff to make up the actual fic, but you don't really have a real ending?
asking for a friend lol
So I don't normally write long fics and I really don't write chapter fics (Like one of my longest posted fics is a little over 14k but most of my stuff averages around 4k) but the Lawlu university AU that has been consuming my brain for the last month or so is an idea that has to be a chapter fic and I have a lot of ideas for it, but I don't have a clear ending point. Most of my fics have always had a very clear and natural end Like I've never really planned the ending out per say, but I just knew when the story I was trying to tell was finished and never had a problem wrapping it up But right now I'm close to finally getting all the ideas I had for this AU down and I don't know that I have a "clear" ending, ya know I know that I don't (at least right now) have much more that I'd like to include in the story, but idk if I can really end it where my ideas/desire to continue the story drops off like idk if it'll feel like a proper end there...........this is also so hard to explain if you're not living in my head and don't know where the planning doc currently ends, so sorry lol
I also have this irrational fear of writing chapter fics Like I get anxious at the implied commitment of it all and dumb things like how long a chapter should be? (I don't believe in filling up stories with filler just for the sake of length, if it's not relevant to the story or character development I generally won't include it - it's the script writer in me >.<) I know there's no real "rules" to how long a chapter "needs" to be and there's no such thing as a chapter being "too short" (this applies for writing in general, but double for fanfic) but it makes me STRESSED that I might not have enough for certain ideas to make a "full" chapter idk why I'm more comfortable with creating a bunch of short fics as part of a series and calling it a day (maybe because there's also no implied "total" amount of chapters even tho ao3 does the 1/? until you mark a chapter fic as complete) I also get anxious because I like the permission series fics feel like they give me to skip large chunks of time and I feel like I can't do that with a chapter fic (again I know there are no "rules" I'm just stressing out for nothing lol) I also just like that with a series I could randomly pick it up and write another piece to go with it on a whim if say, I get another idea out of nowhere after completing the story that I have currently planned (tho I guess there's nothing that stops me from adding a chapter to a fic even after it's marked as complete is there? đŸ€”) BUT if I were to write it as a series, then I'd have to have a title for every fic and the thought of that makes me want to jump out a window (naming fics is truly the bane of my existence), but with a chapter fic it's one title and I'm done (I also already know what I want the title to be sooooooooo) I can also make a series for the AU and have the chapter fic be a main fic and then have the freedom to write sort of spin-off one-off fics in the same universe for other couples 😈
idk man........I'm having a CRISIS over a fanfiction and something about that is very funny....but still lol Especially because I'm mostly worried about breaking non-existent "rules" idk I think I just have to accept that I'm a little weirdo when it comes to fic writing~
tho I still have the problem of not having a clear ending..........
help i'm going crazy i know none of this matters but still >.>
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alistair-blackwood · 1 year ago
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kabru's relationship with his eyes makes for suuuuuch a fantastic trans allegory (an aspect of your body alienating you from your community, being compelled to understand the perspective of someone who also has a complicated relationship with their body in the hopes that you'll better understand your own, people straight up misunderstanding biology) it makes me kind of insane because now I feel like I can't dig into any complicated feelings he might have about his body in relation to his gender without feeling like im just ... double dipping?? like fifjpejgh ryoko kui straight up already told that story in a way that exquisitely fucks??
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