#Whatever. There is enough love in fandom for me to be allowed to make mistakes

[lucasandlily]

Rui x Reader who is really affectionate, but can't touch him because of The Curse.

A/N: I'm alive!! Rui my beautiful beautiful tragic boy. I've actually been having a lot of brainrot for this game, particularly an isekai AU that made me contemplate making RP blog (I love you guys btw. This is probably my first fandom where they're so active, I've been really well connected with this fandom somehow and it's so fun!!), so I figured I might as well be writing it down now. This is an idea I've had spinning in my head for a while, so it's VERY self-indulgent/insert, but enjoy!! AO3 link here

Rui's POV. Second-person pronoun "You" is used. Angst! But also fluff!! (825 words)

You’ve always been an affectionate little thing. It’s something Rui finds adorable about you, staying optimistic despite all that looms over you, not letting any of the ghouls he KNOWS can be more than a little much sometimes destroy your positive attitude. It’s as if you decided to be the light in a place that literally has dark in its name, and he lov admires you for that.

He can’t help but feel the bitter green of envy though, when he watches you ruffle Lyca’s hair after he whines at you for treating him like a dog. 

He pointedly turns away from the look Ed gives him over your head when you relax into his chest after he leans over your shoulder.  

He just laughs along at your drunken antics when you nuzzle into Haru’s hand, somehow even more touchy when your cheeks are flushed with alcohol. 

He tries not to remember the flash of hurt, confusion, the first time he’d backed away from your hand when all you wanted to do was give him a pat for a job well done. He doesn’t know if it hurt more when your face morphed into regretful understanding, or when you apologised and told him you’d try not to do it again. 

Rui tells himself it’s for the better when he notices you’ve been avoiding him for the past week. He’d have done the same to you anyway, if he realised his feelings were starting to fester. He tries to not let it get to him when he hears you enter the Obscuary mansion, only to quickly patter up the stairs without stopping by the bar first, as you would have done previously. 

Maybe before, he would have made it a little competition to see who could mess up the other’s hair more. He’d watched you run your fingers through Lyca’s after you’d tousled it out of place, anyway. Maybe in another life, you’d gently hold his face as you showered him with kisses. He’d do the same to you anyway, if he wasn’t forced to keep his hands to himself. 

If he didn’t notice you hold your hand back every time you saw his mask slip. If he didn’t see your hand stop short before pulling it back to tell him he had a bit of hair out of place. 

It’s all just part of the cursed life, he tells himself. He should be getting used to it by now, he sighs as he walks down the hall over to his room. 

Behind him, he hears the jingle of the bell you like to wear on your keychain. He turns at the sound of your quick steps approaching. 

“Rui! Ruiruiruiii!!” You call.

“Ah, there you are! Haha, I’m not going anywhere you know~ though I guess I don’t mind being chased?” He teases as you approach. 

You smile up at him brightly, “I have something to show you!” You tell him, he notices now that you have a hand behind your back. 

“Hm? Aw, did you get me a gift? And here I was thinking you were hiding from me!” He regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth. Your smile falters a bit as you blink at his confession. 

But before he can backtrack with a “Just kidding!” your smile lightens again, eyes filling with some sort of resolve as you pull out… a glove on a stick? in your other hand.

He doesn’t pull away when he feels the simulation of a hand on his head. He can’t, when you look into his eyes with such unmistakable fondness. The awkward, stilted movements as you try to run the imitation hand through his hair communicates how long you’ve wanted to do this, and the tears that well up in his eyes betray how much he’s needed it. 

He feels the cloth soak up the tears when you move the glove down to hold his face. It feels soft under his skin, and he can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. 

“How long did it take you to make this?” He asks as you let him lace his fingers with your hand extension. He squeezes the plush hand, feeling the soft give before it reaches the stick inside, inspecting where the glove and stick are attached. 

“Um! A week? It took a bit of experimenting to get it to stay on… And they don’t really sell gloves on campus either.” 

Your eyes crinkle when you look at him, the corners of your lips pull up triumphantly when he lets go of the hand to let you pat his head again. 

“You deserve at least this much,” you tell him. “I know it’s not really the same or anything, but I don’t wanna leave you out, y’know?” 

“It was worth it though, if it made you happy.” You look into his eyes as you say this, and he can’t help but believe you.

Reblogs and Comments are appreciated! I love you (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

[whispersleo]

The joyous wyvern - the free book

You can find it in this drive folder!

Hello! Today I’m very excited to finally share this final project in my editorial design specialization: a children’s storybook album, inspired by the dialogue in The Wake written by Mary Kirby, where Illario talks about the time he went with Lucanis to hunt wyverns as children. I must mention that I took the liberty of introducing my own headcanon about their ages, with Illario being the oldest, because Lucanis strikes me as having a very clear "younger brother" behavior.

For this project, I’ve poured blood, sweat, and tears into it. I ended up doing absolutely everything myself when my classmate, who was supposed to help me with the layout for her part of the team project, just decided not to, but I feel content enough with the result to share it. Originally in Spanish, I translated and edited it into English so more people can enjoy it!

There’s a lot I’d like to say, I’ll be posting some sketches, the development process, the designs, and my usual notes [here], and I can answer any questions you might have about the project in the editorial area (or anything else about the project really), but for this post in particular, I just want to give you full, free access to this illustrated book and thank you because this has been on my mind and occupying my time for the last six months.

First, thank you to everyone in this amazing fandom who has supported my creative projects, whether by leaving kudos on AO3, liking my posts here on Tumblr, leaving comments, sending messages, or any form of support! You motivate me to create every day, make me feel welcome, and it’s so nice to be here.

Thanks to @woundedsoul12 for being the first person to welcome me to the fandom, read my works, and be vocal with me about it! In the beginning, I was so afraid of writing again, of making mistakes in some way, and I was very shy about showing what I was doing, but thanks to you, I’ve been able to gain confidence. Without your support, I don’t think I would have decided to keep creating for this fandom. You’ve allowed people to get to know me and have been incredibly kind about me and my work. I owe you so many thanks, I hope you never change, you’re an amazing person!

Thanks to @theheartmold for getting me interested in Illario as a character. Without your posts sharing your interest in the character, your analysis, and your overall enthusiasm, I honestly wouldn’t have been interested in reading Tevinter Nights or The Wake. After two playthroughs in the game, you made me decide to sit down and see that Illario had MUCH more to offer than his tragic portrayal in Veilguard. Maybe I don’t interact much with you, but I definitely wanted to let you know that without your posts, this illustrated story and in general, my content about Illario Dellamorte wouldn’t exist. You introduced me to my new favorite character, thank you so much!

And again, thanks to EVERYONE who has ever interacted with my work and with me as a person! Who has liked my art, fanfics, whatever! I hope you can now enjoy having this book that I give you with so much, so much happiness and love!

[crimsonxcloverr]

there’s so many talented people in this fandom, dale would think highly of us. i know, i yap about it all the time, but it’s so fucking true. even if you don’t draw or write, dale would think you’re hot shit for loving him in the first place. we’re all so cool. i love it.

ANYWAYS! also pls ignore mistakes, this was a random post LMAO

writers- dale would definitely buy you journals and pens from the family owned store nearby. he’d be very supportive and tell you how he thinks you should get your work published, throwing a little fit if you tell him they aren’t worthy enough for publication. he’d force you to sit on the mattress and push yourself to write whatever it is you desire while he worked on his dolls. i feel like once in a blue moon he’d allow you to write at his work table. he would definitely come cuddle with you and lay next you while you worked, help you figure out what to write next if you end up with writers block! he’d give you so much love and support, rub your shoulders and such while you take a break. you want a snack or drink while taking a break? both? dale has it covered. he also keeps all your finished work tucked away safely on the massive media shelf against the basement steps. you know exactly what shelf i’m talking about. and don’t get me started on the nsfw stories or writing about him in general! WHEW! his ears will turn red and he’d blush, which is comically noticeable due to his pale skin. but then he’ll either have you read it out loud while he fucks you or while he jerks off. regardless of the style of writing, he would be so, so, so excited about sharing your work with the world. he’d even encourage ruth to read them as well, who would also enjoy your writing btw, minus the nsfw stuff. i think dale would be so inspired by your work, he may even dabble in writing himself. even if it’s just diary entries or stories about The Man Downstairs.

artists (fanart included, AU) - man, oh man! dale would be gawking over your shoulder impatiently waiting for your art to be finished. he would definitely have a collage of your art all around the basement. he’d even beg ruth to frame some of your art for upstairs (digital, he’d print your art out). of course, he’d be so supportive, probably adding his own little touches himself and smiling for your approval. this man would definitely pick you up some paints and brushes/markers and pens from the hardware store. he’d also deliver you drinks and snacks if needed. and if you’re busting your ass too much or being to critical, he’d tell you to take a break, rub your shoulders and tell you to come back to it. but don’t you dare touch his paints or paint brushes! not even his pencils or pens he uses for his codes! those are his and he’d definitely make that quite clear. for digital fanart, he’d probably be so confused on how the hell any of it works. he would sit and watch, definitely asking you a million questions on how the technology works cause he’s ✨an old fart✨. you’d help him make his own fanart of him and Satan at some point, which he begged for over and over. or being the perv he is, he’d probably make you draw something hot. you rubbing his cock or something. but if your device ever decided to take a shit, he’d do all he could to help you figure it out. he’d probably nag ruth for her disability check to pay for a new device. goddamn it dale. even if it was something minor like an ipad charger, pen too, he’s got it covered!

supporters in general- you just loving on him is enough. he’d admire you regardless, artist or not. the way you spend time with him and give him the love he deserves makes him feel so, so good. he’s YOUR number one fan! he’d definitely peek over at you while working on his dolls just to steal glances and take in all your beauty. he would treat YOU like a work of art, making you model naked for him while taking polaroids of you. not just to jerk off to, but he finds you immensely ethereal. his slender fingers would trail down your body as if you were a marble statue of a greek goddess. he would cup your face and just stare at you, admiring your beauty and wondering why you’d want someone like him? he’s so flattered, he could burst. although… sometimes he gets him hard when he randomly thinks about you. he’d mind his own business, working on a doll, then need to adjust himself cause he thought about your tits or pussy/ass the night before. also, don’t ever be mean to yourself in front of him. he’s scary. not in a “i’m gonna hurt you” type of way, but an authoritative “don’t say that again” way. he’d look at you from under his eyebrows, telling you not to say anything mean about yourself again. he’d make you feel better by playing guitar or singing a song in his karaoke machine. IM CERTAIN HE HAS ONE BTW! or you guys would take turns getting each other dolled up, squeeze each other into corsets, and having a little concert downstairs while blasting T.Rex. or if you were having some sort of mental health episode, he’d run you a bath and bathe you. he’d even lotion you up and help you get dressed, brush your teeth too. he’d suffer the atrocious sounds of meditation music so you could relax, unwind while he loved on you. and if you needed space? he’d give you just that, but would definitely keep an eye on you to make sure you’re safe. he’d eat meals with you if you asked him to. you probably wouldn’t even need to ask him. he’d just bring the food down and eat, telling you how much he loves you and appreciates you.

overall, i think dale would be flattered with all the love and support we’ve given him. giving us the support he’s never gotten <3

[sgiandubh]

It's all fake, anyway

Oh, my. The last two or three video snippets in Marina del Rey. The revolt. The pearl-clutching. The hate.

Again, you know nothing, Jon Snow. It's all about the medium being the message, again: carefully calibrated snippets of information, destined to a captive, deeply divided and (how can I put that without sounding offending, I wonder) unexperimented (yes, that's decent enough) audience.

During the last 24 hours, we've got the Marina del Rey gin promo & MPC teambuilding (hardly an orgy, btw) and C's MUA (or is it hairdresser? irrelevant) hinting on Instagram about a photoshoot at a gin distillery in a #beautifullocation, somewhere on Earth, presumably in Scotland - given her last IG follow. No further details, of course. Very probably a (late-) latergram, too, when she finally got the green light to publish it. Implying nothing, but leaving a boulevard bandwidth for people to infer whatever suits their own narrative. Expect FMN news soon? I highly doubt that and stand corrected: the last photoshoot (with McSideburns, in London) was on May 3rd, when she needed to somehow show the world the Two of Them were continents apart. Identical modus operandi. And always, always via tertiary players.

As for the Marina del Rey teambuilding, if you think that is 'S living his life' you are: a) living in a remote mountain/island area or under a rock; b) an impenitent Mordorian with an agenda to boot or c) incredibly incompetent with the way of the world (or at least, that world). Allow me to translate?

It is alcohol promo, duckies, disguised as teambuilding. The intended message is aimed at a younger, non-OL related audience (as I already warned you) and it roughly goes like this:

'we are a fun loving, no nonsense, start-up business in the spirits industry. Because we don't have a huge advertising budget, we're testing the waters with a cheap, reality-TV snippet to better evaluate the number of social media clicks and new followers and help gauge & calibrate the next step'.

Was it poorly executed? Yeah, you could say that, but then what to do, in a very restrictive, highly regulated tobacco & spirits advertising market, hum? Is it my cup of tea? I don't drink, therefore this type of message touches one ball without really moving the other.

Yes. Start-up business: if we take into account the COVID logistic delay, I believe we're still in that three-years frame. And this detail is essential in order to put context around a very forgettable snippet. Selling a brand-new, more democratic product. Selling it clumsily, in an effort to build relevance, because even bad advertising is, ultimately, good advertising. But make no mistake: it's nothing more than that and it is all they can do, in the current context.

This brings to mind another aspect of the charade, namely the fact that after the Remarkable Week-end (and with the exception of some carefully scripted 'slips'), released and available information progressively became (at least) two-tiered.

First tier: information carefully calibrated for immediate release and general consumption, primarily but not exclusively by the fandom. This includes: spirits shilling, innuendos galore, look-here-not-there latergrams. It also entails less direct interaction with the fans on socials and delegating the media management to secondary players (often called to the rescue, too).

Second tier: public information with a limited availability (you have to take the plunge and pay), for sleuths able and willing to go the extra mile. They paint a very different landscape. And draw two copycat timelines of people who are investing, buying and selling property and overall branching out of their primary source of income with a plan.

I am not a photo sleuth. But with a little bit of time on my hands, I am a decent paperwork analyst. Accounting is not my forte, but legal and business is. I saw what I needed to see and it holds.

So before you start screeching (bad idea, right?), remember this (credit given to @dillon7fan, thanks):

Not really: it is doctored make believe. Bless your heart, honest guy.

Next stop, Tehran. Yes, you read that correctly.

This evening or tomorrow, at the latest. Because context is everything and this fandom severely fails at this.

[real-total-drama-takes]

the way that you think misogyny is over when you're a kid but you've been being forcefed it the whole time is crazy. Like I thought Susan B. Anthony solved all of my problems in the 1920s or whatever but like. it's everywhere. in music and school and cartoons it's just while. and racism too like. holy fuck.

ezekiel got punished for being a misogynist and that's all well and good, but then duncan gets away with EVERYTHING. like. from day 1 he was blatantly a misogynist. "what's for dinner woman?" LIKE HELLO why did they just say that? and not do anything about it? the entire show he was clearly not loyal at all to courtney like. he was so obviously flirting with heather all the time. and gwen too. I can't even explain how horribly misogynistic duncan was in the whole show.

and owen- oh my god. NO ONE TALKS ABOUT OWEN. the "double babe olympics", the "now it's just owen and two hot chicks". and so much like. NO ONE BRINGS THIS UP!!!

katie and sadie. anne maria. even dakota honestly. they were all just. misogynistic stereotypes. like hello. especially the way that anne maria is demonized when she did NOTHING WRONG. and this isn't limited to total drama but it drives the "the worst thing you can be is feminine" bullshit. like obviously you should be allowed to be masculine but I didn't want to be girly as a kid because I thought that meant I was stupid and one dimensional.

bridgette and geoff. okay. bridgette was absolutely TORN TO PIECES in this fandom for cheating on geoff. and you know what? I do think that's valid. BUT! EVERYONE IGNORES GEOFF. season two he was literally a demon like he was straight up evil he was worse than heather and NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT these same people who love geoff HATE ON HEATHER for being so mean but hello geoff is RIGHT THERE he borderline was trying to kill people. and he ALSO cheated on bridgette. celebrity manhunt special, anyone? but no. apparently he did nothing wrong.

and I'm not even going to get into the love triangle.

and the racism like what this show did to leshawna is UNFORGIVABLE. total drama action especially and like I love the season but the racism is so rampant in it like holy jesus. and then like. every character of color is a stereotype ESPECIALLY IN GEN 1. the only gen 1 character I can think of that had nothing racist or like stereotypical to do with them is like. sierra. and then eva, even though she's not poc she's still a stereotype of east european people. I'm not going to get all that into the racism though because I am white and I don't really think I would be all that good to speak on it.

I'm also not going to speak about the fandom because this is already long enough but the fandom needs to GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER! it is okay to make mistakes, but what you need to do is REALIZE and BETTER YOURSELF! a lot of other people talk about misogyny in the fandom so please go read what they have to say too. I've seen popstart's posts and I think they do a wonderful job of speaking on misogyny and so you should DEFINITELY check them out. they inspired me to make this post.

but anyways. it doesn't even stop in the reboot. ripper and chase are just misogynistic and emma's whole character and it's just like. so bad. and then there's the whole "there's no homophobic characters!" like thanks terry wow. he can excuse misogyny but he draws the line at homophobia. after like what 15 years nothing EVER gets better because it seems like women are always the joke.

there obviously shouldn't be homophobia and racism but there also shouldn't be misogyny. and there shouldn't be pedophilia. it's so disgusting. and it needs to change.

.

[waffle-crisp-art]

Hi hello i'm joining the rant box🧇

Lurik is everything it shouldn't be (and I can't get over it)

If you see this post you most likely know who Lotus and Rurik are. Those two guys that were so messed up that noone's surprised they're from ut au fandom? Yeaaah. They ARE messed up but not in the way some people think they are.

Rurik got treated so badly that most of the fandom still thinks he's a soulless psychopath who ties Lotus to a tree and throws knives at him (I guess it's too late to get rid of this trope now oh well) or a cheater that never cared about Lotus or even got with Dante (who's also a victim of misscharacterisation by the way) just out of spite, which isn't true. On the side note, people don't even know Rurik's surname is Liderc not Roller now 🤕

And then there's Lotus who got turned into a character so bland that when I see fanarts it's just him being angry or mistreated by Rurik, as if being a vicitim was his whole personality.

But lately I've been thinking how that relationship which Rurik and Lotus have, could serve as something more than just a pile of nonsense that accumulated since 2016/17

•Why was Lotus even in a relationship with Rurik when they didn't fit with eachother at all?

How about we start seeing it as a trope that doesn't get used much. They met when they were kids, right? If you know enough about Rurik you'll know he had a tough life where his father mistreated him, mom left him, he got into gangs, there was no way for him to develop a healthy way of balancing his feelings, especially those centered around love and affection, and he has attachment issues.

And Lotus had only Reaper (which I imagine doesn't know much about raising a child since he wasn't one and barely had contact with kids) while Geno made sure he let him know he was a mistake and didn't show him he cared at all, so he didn't get taught what it's like to get even basic form of love.

I think that when Lotus showed Rurik even tiny bit of affection (giving him food when they first met) which Rurik didn't normally get much, it might have sparkled some feelings in him. Lotus on the other hand had nothing better to do, so he started following him out of curiosity and boredom, but since Rurik also showed him affection Lotus never had (remember Nekophy's ask where she says Rurik told Lotus his first ever compliment?) Lotus got attached, too.

You get what I mean? Two hurt kids found people who are broken as well and found comfort in eachother. And it gets addicting.

So they weren't a good pair, but were together because they tried to find comfort, at least in my interpretation. It wasn't some psychological horror where Lotus got stockholm syndrome after Rurik kidnapped him, come on. And they didn't break up because of jealousy or whatever, Dante had nothing to do with it-Rurik just happened to finally find a person who gets him and matches his needs (which Lotus couldn't do no matter how hard he would try), Rurik just decided to move on from yearning and Lotus allowed him, because he cared for him and wanted him to be happy, with or without him. Besides, Lotus himself didn't see himself as a "partner" for Rurik, just as a "sidekick" as it was mentioned in some post from creator.

•And why Lotus couldn't match his needs, exactly?

Rurik has a disorder and issues which he shouldn't be blamed for by the way, but it didn't work well with Lotus' unability to express his emotions and own needs, it might have overwhelmed both of them. It might have been another cause for why they broke up, and why they argued all the time. So, while at the start Lurik might have been a sweet puppy love, with a sprinkle of getting into trouble, it turned into a mess really quick (I made a fanfic tackling this topic a bit by the way but it was quite a while ago)

I'm a bit bummed with people who don't know what they're using in their media. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE seeing people make au's and expressing their own ideas, but it's sad when many people refuse to aknowledge basic info about the characters especially while talking about them with others, as if using the information from creator was a sin. There is some potential there as well, I swear

[aeternallis]

May I just say though? Personally, when someone asks me to be accommodating towards them, I can usually entertain, should the circumstances allow it, and if I had also been given that in the first place.

However in this case, why exactly should I be made to feel obligated to accommodate that person (or anyone who had a hand on the dogpiling/gossip train) and give them the benefit of the doubt, when I myself was not given the courtesy?

That's like asking for something I don't have to give. You think it only takes a few days to get over incidents like this?

How about you all fucking try what it's like to be called "ableist" based on a few tags that was written in frustration, then to be dogpiled on and gossiped about god knows where, and called out publicly without even a chance to explain myself in private?

Like sure, now they ask me, now-when they may or may not have found out that I too am a POC in the fandom, who was just literally vibing in my own damn lane, when the defamation has already occurred, when I've already been gossiped about in certain circles, etc.

It's easier to ask for accommodation when the deed has already been done, yknow? LOL

I have no more hesitation to rant on this stupid blog of mine (besides the fact that this is my online diary, haha) since I've already been cancelled and called all kinds of ugly names in the book in this stupid fandom, but to whomever is still somehow keeping an eye on this blog-while I may not be in the icky habit of call out culture, please be aware that I have receipts.

And ngl, the hypocrisy is through the damn roof. Lol

Somehow those people who are still complaining about me on their platforms are bold enough with their back and forth behavior of "all fandom opinions should exist" vs "they should keep what I perceive to be character wank out of the tags" is such a damn whiplash that at this point, I'm pretty sure the two scary extremes of their behavior are all just efforts to create an echo chamber around them where their headcanons are affirmed.

And that's all well and good, create that echo chamber as much as y'all want and invite those people in said echo chamber under the guise of positivity, but lemme just say one thing now, as someone who's read the stupid KP novel twice now, as well as watched the show all the way through three times: no matter how much you want your headcanons to BE canon, THEY ARE NOT. echo chamber numbers don't mean shit against what's canon and what isn't.

Sure, pick and choose what aspects of canon you want to play with, that’s more than fine. But for the love of all the green pastures on god's earth, it is not a personal attack on you that I choose to engage in the canon dynamics, as depicted in the book and show. it is not a personal attack that I choose to talk about these things, omfg.

because believe me, I am NOT the only one with unpopular opinions in this fandom, and lemme tell y'all now, they want to be able to say what they want without fear of being cancelled, and you can only control an atmosphere of fandom for so long.

And finally, a few more things: one, the damn tags don't belong to anyone. Trying to control what is said in the tags, now that's fandom policing, not whatever the hell I was doing just ranting in my own blog and thinking to myself this is my safe space. two, playing the high horse card and saying it's all for the sake of "keeping the positivity in fandom" only creates an atmosphere of people walking on eggshells, of not being able to say what they want to say about the characters, as if somehow people aren't allowed to make mistakes, lest they too are dogpiled like I was.

how sensitive you are about these characters is no one else's problem but your own. I (and anyone else who doesn't agree with your headcanons) am not a damn babysitter, grow tf up.

[dewthegay4403]

DUDE YESSFF

SILLY YAP SESSION! ALL LOVE! NO HATE! GRAAHHH😼😼

lowkey the fandom always forgets that Nexus is a deteriorating husk of “Moon”. Moon literally was driven to insanity BECSUSE they cared so much about their family. Everyone always puts Moons GOOD actions onto Old Moon, but then brushes away every single little mistake known to mankind onto Nexus. Nexus shouldn’t be viewed as the villain. She should be viewed as a mentally ill character, because that is what she is. She turned to what only can be put as drvgs and a life groping for power because she knew the family would NOT accept her back because of her mental health.

Now I’m not saying the celestial family are the villains in play, but I am also? Eclipses recording showed Moon in a very disturbing state which should have been focused on more than the fact that Moon was going to make plans to kill Ruin or BloodMoon (two known villains/Anti-heros in tsbs. More on that in a second.) Earth wants to be seen as a therapist, and we can see that in the episode “Confronting MOON! In VRChat” Earth gets upset when Moon says she ISN’T a therapist. She says “I will NEVER forgive you for the words you just said to me.” The fandom agrees with Earth, “Moon has no right!” “She was just trying to help!” & xyz were thrown across the fandom, but genuinely most of these were incorrect. If Earth wishes to be viewed as a therapist, she does Infact have to learn to put aside her problems with her patient to actually help them, which she didn’t do. This of course simply reinforces Moons statement that Earth is not in fact a therapist and has a lot more to learn before she can become one. Of course this comes back to show Earth probably couldn’t have helped Moon even if she wanted to. She would’ve had too many difficulties and problems to set aside from Moon before she could’ve listened, learned, and helped. Now, to address something bigger. The whole Moon trying to kill Earth thing. Let’s jump into that.

“Moon KILLS EVERYONE!! In VRChat”

Moon enters the room at 3:55 and it’s quite obvious they’re going to kill someone. They say it’s not their fault if Earth accidentally dies. Skip to 4:30, Moon and Ruin talk about god knows what, their family and Moons insanity til 14:00. That’s about 10 minutes of talking which will provide importance in a second. At 14:00 Moon brings up they’re going to use star power and states they will not hesitate to kill everyone and everything in the room, including earth who is tied up. He actually shoots at 15:30, a minute and a half later. In this minute and a half, Ruin could have been untying Earth to let her go but for whatever reason chose not to. Same thing goes for the him talking to Moon for 10+ minutes instead of letting Earth go.

Now that has been covered, allow me to point out the differences between “Moon tried to kill Earth” and “Moon tried to kill BloodMoon and Earth was in the way”. Moon did not pointedly try to kill Earth. They tried to kill BloodMoon. This is VERY DIFFERENT from them trying to kill Earth. If you say Moon tried to kill Earth, you’re wrong. They tried to kill BloodMoon.

Twisting back to Nexus’ mental health and everyone’s view on it. I’m going to discuss the fandoms view of her mental health next.

Everyone always says “Nexus had no reason to go insane!” “Suns the real one who deserves to go insane!” “Nexus doesn’t deserve to go insane!” “Nexus doesn’t have enough trauma to go insane!” & xyz. Now, here’s where these statements are wrong. Somebody can’t deserve to go insane. They simply do. Insanity is not something that is willing, it’s something that is built up.

Think of it as a beaver dam. The water at first flows smoothly and openly. We’ll acknowledge this as somebody’s thoughts, emotions, and views of certain things. Then, here come the beavers. The event. It doesn’t have to be a big event. It can be little ones that slowly place up a wall. The dam that closes off everything else. Oftentimes the person will bottle everything up. Making the water stop flowing. Over time, the river will rise above the dam, and cracks will begin. This can go on for months, years even. Eventually, the dam will break. Snap. All those emotions and thoughts, and reason will get washed away in the thick of things and the river will swell, flooding the banks which will cause problems. Untreated, this can be incredibly bad for the person and cause them to deteriorate into a husk of the person they once were. This is what happened with Nexus.

I believe the start of the build up of the dam for Nexus would begin at his talk with Old Moon. Where he was told to kill himself for his family’s wellbeing. Reminder that this is fresh after Solars death, so the pressure is still on his shoulders. The build up continues through his breakdown and then we reach his hallucination. This is the point where I think Moons’ dam began to crack, twigs spring out and water slowly begins to flow only to be closed up too soon. We can watch as Moons dam slowly gets flimsy and then breaks from that episode to the Earth and Sun confrontation.

Onto the last part of my yap session. (Ur a real one if u read this far down.) Moons imprisoning which was a BIG SLIP UP.

Honestly, imprisoning Moon in a small cage was the worst thing they could’ve done. Leaving him alone for days, weeks even, with his hallucinations, only popping in every few days just to flat out torment them (Monty.) and continuously compare them to their “superior self” (Sun). Moon even stated that they were “Screaming at nothing and thrashing about” for days on end and Sun paid no mind to it. Which is genuinely surprising because Sun was in this exact position, but instead of paying aid to Moon, he orders the computer to shock him unconscious and walks out not another word nor glance.

God these robots man, THESE ROBOTS GRRR. They’re all flawed so perfectly to antagonize each other but the fandom is so closed minded they can’t sort out that each character has REASON for beings one way or another🙏

in conclusion I miss Nexus and her goofy self and Moon and their stupid braindead self☹️☹️

I miss new Moon

Honestly, I don't care about Nexus but thinking about what happened to New Moon specifically hurts me a little. I just still can’t believe that a character who we knew for a year could just go POOF so randomly and sudden

And the worst part is that everyone in the show acts as if he never existed at all. As if only Nexus existed and everything good he did in his life was actually old Moon

It's weird. I kept hoping for a happy ending for him. I even thought he would eventually just leave with Solar to some random dimension after realizing his mistakes. But unfortunately it seems that the only way for a major character to go off screen is for them to die

Anyway I'm already changing some lore stuff when redesigning characters so have the biggest change so far: my Nexus is alive and "domesticated" (I love domesticated villain trope a lot). He lives in Sun and Moon's basement and only goes outside to get some snacks because he is still very salty about everything that happened. Nice

[writing-havoc]

Hey! How're you? I hope you're well.

I absolutely adore your works and I hope it's okay to make a request? It's just a little idea I had, sort of inspired by your latest fic :)

Where the reader is a part of the crows and one night she finds this small child outside the club and she feels really sorry for them and brings them into the club and tries to help them? Maybe with a bit of Kaz x reader? Whatever you feel inspired to write to be honest :D

I hope this is okay, I love your works so much! 💖💞

Enough

♡ Summary: You do your best to care for a little boy you found while Kaz cools down

♡ Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader

♡ Fandom: Six of Crows, Grishaverse

♡ Warning(s): Hunger, Child Abandonment, says Yn twice

♡ WC: 4.6k

I could have sworn there was a mention of like, a café by name in the books somewhere but I couldn't find it? I just made one up but man this is gonna drive me crazy lol

Anyway, here you go! I hope it is to your liking and tysm for the request and kind words <3 so glad my fic could inspire!

Please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes

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Finding a child in an alleyway was not something you expected to tick off your bingo card so soon. Taking the child with you to the Crow Club with plans to look after him wasn't even on the card. And yet, here you are.

He's small, top of his head barely reaching your belly button, and his hands are freezing from where they hold onto your own.

You had found him not twenty minutes ago, and planned to just leave him there like any sensible person. But unfortunately, you're not as good at turning your moral compass upside down like everyone else.

So you got his attention, approaching his little shelter and offering him the last slice of bread you had swiped from someone's open kitchen window. He was hesitant to reach for it, hands slowly edging toward you as if you'd rip it away any moment, and with a certain gentleness took the piece from your hand and began to nibble on it.

His clothes were dirty, dipped in whatever dirt the Barrel has rubbed off on him and drenched through to the bone. Things were coming apart at the seams and the soles of his shoes you can tell were about to separate from the rest.

You had asked him where his parents are, and your heart immediately sunk when he looked away and towards the canal, his tiny nibbling seizing.

That was what snapped the little string you had holding you back, the other side tied to your sense of reasoning.

He's just a kid. You were just a kid once. Arguably still are. You'll be damned if you had to watch someone who was no older than 7 go through the same fate you did.

But your sentiments were short lived, starting and ending with you, as the moment you stepped through the doors of the Crow Club with the kid clutching your hand, Kaz was narrowing his eyes and his teeth were gritting.

You glared at Dreg members around you, daring them to stop you as you made your way to the back of the club where all the alcohol is stored. Nina and Jesper were setting up chairs, and you gave them a blank look as you entered the room, the sound of metal thumping rhythmically following.

"Yn." A rough gravelly voice calls behind you.

You ignore it, looking at the kid. "Is it alright if I lift you up? Just to here, hun."

In the softest voice you ever heard, the kid says "Yeah." and allows you to put your hands under his arms and lift him onto a crate.

"Yn," Kaz calls again, making your blood simmer.

There's really nothing you can do here. The Club is going to open in a few moments for the five o' clock rush and there's not any spare clothes. You'll have to wait until you can go to the market later to fetch him some clothes and bathe him at the Slat.

The ferrule of a cane drags across the floor, and you roll your eyes.

"Give me a moment, okay?" You say to the kid, waiting for him to nod before turning around, exiting into the main bar area.

"Are you mad?" He hisses at you, hand gripping his cane so hard you can see it shake. "What could have possibly made you think bringing a child here would be a good idea?"

His anger isn't too surprising. But if you're being honest, it's annoying.

"I was thinking that he has nowhere to go." You say, voice low as you walk away from the door a little more. Kaz follows you, eyebrows still snapped together and a hardness to his jaw you don't think you've ever seen directed at you. "He was outside and shivering inside a make-shift shelter made out of fruit crates and a tattered towel. He needs a place to stay."

"I don't care what it needs. It has no place here." His eyes flicker to the kid.

You cross your arms, anger bubbling in your chest. "He is not going anywhere. He is cold, and small, and hungry, and we have everything here and at the Slat to keep him comfortable."

His eyes snap back to you. "This isn't a daycare. We can't just swing our doors open to any lost kid you manage to find on the streets. This is the fucking Crow Club."

"I know damn well what this place is, Kaz." Your jaw hurts from how hard you're clenching it, head starting to pound at your temples. "I'm not blind nor incompetent. But he can't weigh more forty pounds and he's way past the age for that to be acceptable. I cannot, in good conscience, let him go for him to starve and eventually die on the streets."

He goes to say something, but stops, eyes flickering around your face. Your jaw is set, features no doubt mirroring his as you stand your ground, hands on your hips and feet stood apart.

"Please, Kaz."

You don't care that he runs this place. You're not about to be pushed around and bullied into staying complicit while this kid dies.

And he knows this.

So he closes his eyes, looking away from you as he takes a deep breath, collecting himself. His hand is no longer shaking, but you can tell he's still angry, ready to swing at both the imaginary and the physical.

He takes one last breath and looks at you, eyes only just softer than before. "You are responsible for him. He's hungry? You feed him. He's hurt? You fix him." The crows head of his cane comes up to look at you. "If he causes trouble, you deal with him."

You smile for only a moment before you push the cane away from your face, his barrier down. "He's well behaved. It'll be fine."

"You better hope so." He mumbles under his breath, walking away slightly off rhythm.

You watch him leave, members parting when they see his mood. A few even nearly knock over a chair when he gets a bit too close, Nina and Jesper arching their brows as he disappears out the door.

A few people are staring at you, eyes hungry for gossip and a glimpse at the kid you ushered in not minutes before.

You ignore them in turn for trying to figure out what to do with him.

He's sitting on a crate of Kaelish whiskey, legs shut tightly and dangling off the side, arms wrapped around his torso. But he's looking around, taking in the stockpile of alcohol.

"Alright, first things first." You say, leaving a crack in the door as you step into the room. He's jumpy, staring at you with analyzing eyes. "What's your name?"

He opens his mouth to say something, but then pauses, quickly shutting it.

You chuckle. "Listen, kid. Whatever you've got to hide, I don't give a shit. You're in the Barrel now, the only names that matter here are who you've decided to roll your dice with and those who call themselves bosses."

He thinks about it then, eyes narrowing and feet rubbing against eachother inside his tattered shoes. He wets his lips.

"Leopold."

It's... a little far from what you were expecting. You just barely stop yourself from snorting. "You'd have been better off lying."

His face blossoms in red, embarrassment clear as he begins to shut down.

"Hey, hey. I'm sorry." You're still smiling so it doesn't help much. But you kneel down in front of him. "It's customary here to at least make light fun of others when you first meet them." He's not convinced, but he's a little less prickly now, so that's something. "Is Leopold what you'd like to be called? Or is there a different name you have in mind?"

Again, he thinks about it.

"Leo, is fine."

"Leo is much better." You pat his knee, standing up.

His cheeks are still red, but you can tell he feels a little more confident now.

The arms that were tightly coiled around his waist have loosened, resting on his legs. His feet are swinging, just barely, and his back has straightened.

A thought comes to mind when you see his shoe begin to slip off his foot.

"How hungry are you?" You ask.

And before he can answer, you hear a rather loud grumbling from his stomach, and a bit of a pained expression falls on his face.

Your smile drops a little. "Well it's good to see you haven't got comfortable with being hungry yet. Come on." You wave him over as you swing the door open. "We're going to get some waffles."

"Waffles?!" You hear from your left.

Leo jumps in surprise, not expecting the voice.

You, however, were expecting it. Counting on it, even. "Yes, Nina. You can come if you want!"

It's faint, but you can hear her go "yes!" and the sound of a chair scraping against the floor. "No need to ask me twice!"

You look at Leo as he approaches the door, hands fidgeting with eachother.

"None of that." You say, tapping his hands, which in turn makes him fling them apart. "When you walk out of here, in front of all those people, pretend to be confident."

His eyebrows knit together, so you take your finger and smooth it out. "You don't have to actually feel confident, but those guys out there? They're vultures, and I dont think you have the heart to take the amount of teasing and bullying they'll inflict on you if they see you fidgeting like that." You grab his shoulders, and watch in amusement as he stiffens into a board. You give him a thumbs up, then tilt his chin parallel to the floor, bringing it out of its nook in his chest. "Fidgeting is reserved for those who have earned their place here, when everyone knows that if they mess with you, you'll hold your ground."

He's sweating, and his eyes are big and wide, but it's a little better than whatever he had going on before.

You usher him out the door, closing it behind you. People are still staring, and others are giving mean side eyes, but you ignore them, smiling at Nina from where she stands by the door.

Her face gets wider when she sees Leo next to you.

"Oh you're the little bugger that had Brekkers panties in a bunch." She leans down, ruffling his hair. "You and I are going to get along swimmingly."

Leo cringes, scrunching in on himself and away from her hand. He's absolutely not pleased, you think, as Nina takes her hand back.

Lazily helping him sort his hair back out, you start to wonder what this kid even likes.

"Nina, this is Leo. Leo, this is Nina, greatest wolf tamer to grace Fjerda's soil."

Nina scoffs, kicking her leg out and knocking your shin with the toe of her boot. "The whole world, thank you very much." She turns out the door, holding it open for you both as you exit.

You do your best to keep the kid close as you make your way through the streets, idly chatting with Nina as you shove Leo around into various alley ways when you see someone you don't have good relations with and pulling him away from an oncoming carriage when he gets lost staring at the boats that roam the canal.

He has to be an artist's son, or maybe a writer's. You don't know anyone who just stops in the middle of the road to look at boats doing their job and floating on water.

It's actually a miracle you make it to the little diner in one piece.

Inside it smells strongly like shitty coffee and various breakfast foods given the hour, much to both you and Nina's delight.

You're just happy to be out of Barrel air for a moment. Even if you were only just across East Stave and a two minute walk would plant you back in the slums, you swear the air quality just immediately skyrockets the second you cross the bridge.

The menus of this place are built into the tables, Grisha engraved into a thin piece of metal while a thick card on a rack displays the specials.

A booth a little ways away from the corner suits your group well, though you do regret not giving Leo a wipe down before coming out here.

It does seem like he attempted to clean himself off. Probably while Kaz was lecturing you. The dirt that was under his fingernails seems to be picked out, and the smudges on his face are considerably fainter.

It's a good thing you didn't walk into one of the nicer diners around here. But from your experience, the shittier the establishment the better their food will taste.

If you don't feel at least a little unsafe walking by it then it's probably not worth the kruge.

You shimmy into one side of the booth first while Nina slides in on the other side. Leo follows after you, sticking as close as he can while still giving you a bit of arm room.

"Alright." You smile, looking at the little breakfast section, scooting in just a bit more so Leo can look at the menu as well. "I know I said waffles, but really you can order anything you like."

"You're paying, yes?" Nina asks.

You roll your eyes. "Yes, Nina. I'm paying. Though do try and feel a little guilty for my poor pocket."

She doesn't say anything, eyes roaming over the whole breakfast section rather than stopping on just the waffles like usual.

Maybe you'll get some lunch to balance out the sugar that's about to grace the table.

The smallest of taps tickles your shoulder. "What's this?"

He's pounting at the menu, the item catching your eye. "Ah, I forgot these places give awful names to their foods. It's an omelet," you clarify, "with little veggies mixed in. Probably cheese in the middle."

His eyes go wide as you mime the size of such a dish with your hand.

"Would you like it?" You ask, gently probing at the little bits of personality that have managed to unravel themselves in the short time you've known him.

He looks at you, hesitant as he nods. "Yes please."

You smile. "Nice choice, kid."

The praise makes him smile, just as a waiter comes and begins to take your orders.

Of course, Nina gets a few plates of waffles with various toppings that she found interesting with a plate of toast, Leo gets his omelet with extra cheese, and you indulge yourself with a pile of hashbrowns and eggs over top.

Mixing it all together on your plate always sends Kaz into a frenzy. You hope he can feel the monstrosity being prepared and weeps at the sin you're about to commit.

"Does that man hate me?" Leo suddenly asks.

You scrunch your brows, discreetly looking around. "What man?"

"That man from before, that yelled at you." He says, rubbing his finger over a fork he received. "Did I get you in trouble?"

Nina chuckles. "Kaz is just like that. Out of everyone in that place your protector here is of the least likely to get in trouble."

You smile at that, thinking of Kaz's tendencies.

What Nina said isn't exactly true. You get in trouble just as much as the rest of them. Kaz just forgives you easier, is more willing to talk and come to a compromise.

Tonight you'll walk into his office and he'll still be steaming, angry at you for not clearing such a major change with him. He'll glance up at you, shoulders stiff and that cavern between his brows only getting deeper.

But if things go right, that edge he has a habit of keeping sharp will dull, his jaw will slacken, and his eyes will soften. He'll still be the hardstrung mini boss hell bent on making up for the past, but he'll settle down in the present for a little while, drinking the warm tea you set on his desk and heart a bit more open to you.

"No, I'm not in trouble." You fix his collar. "Just have some explaining to do."

Leo frowns, opting to pick at the metal menus. His leg is bouncing up at down, temples flexing. "So he is mad at me?"

You glance at Nina. She has a tightness to her lips, not knowing what to say either.

A joke, then. "He's not allowed to be mad at you before he meets you. However, I will be mad at you if you piss yourself in this booth."

His cheeks turn scarlet, not knowing where to look anymore. "I didnt know where the bathroom was."

"It's fine." You look towards the back, pointing to a hallway. "Down there, there's a bathroom. Lock the door behind you and knock before you go in."

He looks a little angry when you say that, but gets up and sulks his way over to the hallway. At least he already knows basic manners, then.

You turn to Nina, a deep sigh escaping your lungs.

She snorts. "I can see you turning older from where you sit."

You kick her foot under the table. "I couldn't leave him. Can you check up on him when we get back to the Club? I don't imagine he'll want me poking around at him trying to find a wound that doesn't exist."

"Seeing as you bought me breakfast, I suppose I have to return the favor."

"Thank you." You grab her hand, the both of you squeezing. "I'm sorry for tricking you."

That makes her let out a belly laugh, a short "ha!" while her cheeks glow. "If your tricks always start out like this then you wont see me complaining. Besides," she looks towards the back of the diner, "he's a cutie. Wouldn't want him dropping dead anytime soon."

"I'm mostly just worried about how calm he is. I mean, would you be this fine with a stranger picking you off the street and taking you to get food?"

Nina sighs, giving your hand another light squeeze. "Im not sure he knows he should be afraid. Which is more of a curse than a blessing. He's what, six?"

"Probably? My oldest quess is seven, but with how small he is compared to how well-mannered he is he could be ten for all I know."

"He'll be fine. And so will you. Just take it as it comes as all the advice I can offer you. He's probably going through shock."

Leo slides back into the booth, hands slightly damp from what you hope is water and not urine. Somehow the food is already done within the short amount of time you order, and a waiter is sliding the dishes onto the table.

The omelet doesn't stand a chance in front of a young boy, and a quarter of it is nearly gone before the waiter leaves.

You spare a glance at Nina, who's looking at the rapidly disappearing slab of eggs with amazement."Well if he wasn't before he definitely is about to be."

-----

You tuck the kid into bed, freshly washed and with a clean set of clothes on his body. His hair was actually a much lighter shade of brown than you thought, and beneath all that grime rested a few freckles and an old scar.

Nina had checked him all over for any sort of injury, and found nothing besides a bit of high blood pressure, which wasn't surprising given he was absolutely starving.

A bit of food in him for the next few months should help tremendously, you think.

He just got done stuffing himself with some soup you made for you and the Crows, ignoring the fact that the Slat was filled to the brim with people who also wanted some. It was enough for them that you pointed to a box of recipes and some spare ingredients, cheers sounding throughout the building.

Kaz had took his and disappeared up to his room before you could say anything, still visibly irritated.

Nina thinks he's about six, which could be why he's relatively quick to trust.

"Are you sure he's not mad at me?" Leo asks, patting down a pillow you just sewed together and bring you out of your thoughts.

You squat by your bed, head in your hands. "Maybe," you sigh. "But it's not from anything you did. He just doesn't like to be mad at me so he's using it up on you."

"Thats not very kind."

You want to wrap this kid up tighter. "No, it's not." Instead you turn the lantern beside your bed down to a very low flame, creating a soft glow throughout the room. "But it's Kaz."

Leo takes that explanation like a champ, like he actually understands what that means, and let's his eyes fall shut.

You pick up the hot tea you made earlier, using your key to lock the door behind you as you make your way over to the attic.

Strangely, you feel anxious as you ascend the stairs. The tea shakes in your hands, rattling a little against the mismatched saucer plate. But you open his door and are met with the exact situation you predicted earlier, your shoulders relaxing.

"Tea will not stave my mood." He turns over a piece of paper, setting down an ink pen.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." You set the tea on his desk, avoiding the wells of the door. "I am simply offering a nice cup of tea for my nice boyfriend who is totally not about to shove his nice cane up my nice ass."

"The last place my cane will go is up your ass." He sets the page down, looking up at you. "That's incredibly unsanitary."

You root around on his desk, looking at the various papers he's marking and reading through. "And the blood isn't?

"Arguably easier to clean." He takes a packet out of your hand and replaces it with a different one. "Educate me as to why bringing a child into my club was a smart decision."

Immediately you deflate, falling back into a chair. You cringe when the wood digs into your bones.

Honestly, you already told him everything. He's small, food was available, you had space he could occupy, why not?

"I've already told you, Kaz. I had the ability, and I dont really see a reason why not. Why don't you educate me?"

He looks about ready to strangle something, exasperated sigh shoving it's way out of his lungs.

"What are you going to do on the ocassion he gets in the line of fire? How are you going to react if his parents find him? When they take him back? Can you say with absolute certainty that this child wont destroy you?" He stands with every question, looming over his desk with his hands splayed over the surface.

"Could you have said that about me when we got together?" You counter.

It's a rare thing, to see Kaz go quiet and contemplative.

You don't particularly enjoy it.

"I can't say that should any of those happen I won't be a little devastated. But is it really justifiable to push him out just because he has the potential to hurt me?" You stand too, the packet still in your hand. "As you said, he's my responsibility. When it comes to that, I'll take the fall. You don't have to be as worried as you are-"

"I do." He interrupts. "I do, because he's important to you. And unfortunately our moods and overall state of mind have an overwhelming effect on the other."

You take a moment to look at him, purple blotches under his eyes and his scars highlighted by angle of the light. He's exhausted, and it kind of hurts to realize some of that might have been your fault.

But you're not sorry.

"He thinks you hate him."

"I don't know enough about him to properly hate him."

You smile as he sits down, bringing the cup of tea with him. He's far more relaxed than before, and is just this side of tired that you see his eyelids begin to weigh down, a deep breath is all it takes for the tension to leave his brows completely as the warm beverage meets his mouth. You swear you hear him moan when he feels just how warm it still is.

"Thats what I told him, but I don't think he believes me."

"Suck to suck. Look at the packet."

It's rather thin, you realize, black string tying the pages together. On the front, which you skimmed and didn't really read earlier, it says "Tips for new Adoptees".

On the inside are various tables and notes Kaz seems to have scrounged together, his messy cursive completely filling the pages to the point you have trouble figuring out where a thought ends and another begins.

"Huh." Is all you say, chest heavy and feet scuffing the floor.

You dont... you don't know what to say. You're reading something about how much a child costs but you're not really taking it in. It's more than you could have ever imagined.

Kaz sets the tea down. "I imagine Leo isn't going to be the last. You know where the extra paper is."

He makes your heart so warm. It makes it hard to be annoyed at him for doubting you.

The stairs leading up to the attic creak, and immediately you and Kaz are on guard, your hand moving to your back where little daggers decorate your belt.

Leo's face pops into the room, and you immediately relax, an exasperated sigh exiting your lips. "Hey, Leo. What's going on?"

He inches into the room, hands tentatively still holding onto he door. "I feel bad about going to sleep in your bed. And I wanted to say sorry for doing what I did, Mr. Kaz."

Kaz quirks a brow. "And what is that?"

"Um..." Leo freezes, looking away. "I don't know."

Immediately you look at Kaz, raising your own brow. He gives you a look that you know would kill you if it could, and you smile.

"Leo, come here and meet Kaz." You wave him over, setting the packet aside.

He hesitates, making a move to walk into the room. But when his eyes land on Kaz, he stops.

"He doesnt bite." You try and crack a joke, and while he doesnt laugh, he does drop his shoulders and release the iron grip from the doors side.

Kaz stands and walks around the table, limp pronounced as usual without his cane as Leo closes the door and makes his way across the room.

They stare at eachother for a few moments, coming just a few feet apart behind your chair. You watch their eyes scan over the other, Leo eyeing Kaz's limp and little scars and Kaz inspecting Leo' clothes and the way his ear is slightly folded inwards.

Surprisingly, Kaz offers his gloved hand first, and Leo takes it almost instantly. You watch as they share a firm handshake, nodding at eachother.

"Please to make your anquaintance." There's a slight fumble to Leo's words, and it takes everything in your power to not interrupt their moment and correct him.

But Kaz just nods, releasing their hands. "Pleasure is all mine."

You smile, the little interaction forever cemented into your soul.

Leo definitely isn't going to be the last kid coming through here. Not when Kaz let's a smile pull at his lips just so, and makes a pen appear out of thin air for Leo to look at.

For now, however, this is enough.

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Tags:

@b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @a-candle-maker @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @kylie18 @morrigan-crowmwell

[nerdysleepybunny]

Hiii!!! This is my first time making a request on tumblr so I hope this is okay 😓 anyway, alot of my friends have said that I seem so quiet and timid. My parents have also called me out on this so can I have the full score trio with a quiet and timid s/o? Maybe base her off Yuri from ddlc because she's my top kinnie 😅 gender neutral please <333

P.S.

Your tpn posts are so good, I need more 😭😭😭 btw I hope I didn't make any grammar mistakes, English isnt my first language.

Helloooo, apologies this took so long to get to! And don’t worry, your English was great! I sadly haven’t played ddlc but I’ll try my best to do this. And I appreciate the kind words! Thank you so much for the request, hope you enjoy! <33

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Fandom(s): The Promised Neverland

Character(s): Norman, Ray, Emma

Reader: Gender neutral (they/you)

TW: N/A

Style: Short hcs

Summary: TPN trio with a shy s/o!

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Norman:

He enjoys how quiet you are! It’s a nice refresher from how the other children can be.

He knows how easily scared you can be, and has willingly turned himself into a comfort plushie for you! He’ll let you hug him, lay on him, play with his hair, cry on his chest/shoulder, whatever you need, he’ll be there for you!

If you get scared/overwhelmed by other people, he’ll keep you distanced from them (if that’s what you want)! If he notices you beginning to panic he’ll drag you away from the situation and do whatever activity you have in mind to help you relax.

If you get scared from things like loud noises, he’ll allow you to hide away in his chest, and if he knows a loud sound is about to be made, he’ll cover your ears and bring you away from it.

He’ll also sing, hum, or just ramble if his voice helps you calm down. <33

Literally just a teddy bear for you to hold onto tightly when you need it. 🥹🫶🏻

Ray:

You’re shy? Great, so is he! He prefers smaller gatherings anyway, so the two of you will often just hang out one on one. No need to get overwhelmed by others if you’re with him and only him 24/7. :D (this lowkey sounds yandere, mb y’all 💀)

Sometimes you’ll be mid-conversation with someone then your social battery just goes to 0. He’ll immediately notice the change and will instead answer things for you, since at this point he can read you super easily. Just one look and he immediately knows what you’re thinking. He’ll talk for you for as long as you need until you’re recharged enough to take over again.

He isn’t into physical affection very much, especially in front of others, but if you need it he’ll hold your hand or let you play with his hair.

Will also slap anyone that purposefully overwhelms you or tries to push you out your comfort zone. Whoops.

Emma:

Complete opposites relationship pog? Complete opposites relationship pog.

Y’all have such a cute dynamic istg. 😭

Emma is just a complete ball of sunshine, always speaking loud and proud, then you’re just there quietly simping over your brave girlfriend. 🥺💕

You’re just like “Omg she’s so confident I love her sm” and if she notices you watching her with heart eyes? OMFG she’ll point you out and just start bragging about you, talking about how perfect and amazing you are and how you’re the best s/o. And you’re just awkwardly sitting with a hot red face not knowing what to do with all the attention. 😭

She’s good at distracting you from your worries by simply talking away and being herself! You could be rocking back and forth in a corner with your knees to your chest having a breakdown from being so overwhelmed then this mf just walks in and you’re just in awe. 😭

Literally the definition of going from 😭 to 😳

Them tears be stopping so fast when she’s around istg.

She’ll absolutely smother you in nothing but affection. 🫶🏻

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

[back2bluesidex]

Not a Dream

Summary: She thinks she is not good enough for him. She thinks she has nothing to offer. But she doesn't know she is all he wants. But why?

Pairing: idol!Hoseok x Staff!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, a very very little bit of smut, Hoseok is a bit obsessed.

Wordcount: 4.8k

a/n: This is my very first ff and I do not know anything. Forgive me for the mistakes and tell me how to be better.

----------------

"what?" I exclaimed for the second time in 2 minutes, obviously because whatever I was hearing wasn't making sense at all. "But what's the need for me there?" I asked the manager again clearly not understanding why I was being escorted to the party that wasn't my place to be.

Jhope, Jung Hoseok, was throwing his grand glam party for his second solo album "Jack out of the box''s release and it was huge to say the least. Almost the entire Kpop industry was there. The top floor of the hybe building was then holding more wealth than some of the small countries. As expected, staff not having any direct connection with the album production weren't allowed to go even near the top floor today. I was certainly one of the uninvited ones. That was at least what I knew until Hoseok's manager came to escort me to the party. 

"Why is she being invited there when we're not even allowed to step near the floor? Just because she's an army?" Sooah, one of my teammates almost cried with pure jealousy laced in her voice. Well, it's not that I don't know the answer. I do, just don't wanna admit cause it all feels like a dream. There were some sort of things going on between hobi and Me. No, we weren't in a relationship. It was somewhat complicated. 

I was in the army and all of the seven adored me because of that. They never had a dedicated army among their staff ever before. After having me they literally started to treat me as if I represent the entire fandom. It's quite understandable because they were always so curious to know why the armys are more interested in their thighs than their faces (just joking). 

However, for me it was quite different. Getting to know them was a blessing. I got to know that they were even better personally but they live a very different life. I realized quickly that my love for Jung Hoseok was better to be cherished as a normal Fan-idol thing because my intensity would only make my heart break. And it did, it broke more and more every time I realized I am not perfect for Hoseok, I can never be. Obviously, he was the global star, BTS's Jung Hoseok and I was Y/N, a normal and very very ordinary girl with nothing to rock people off of their socks. 

But apparently Hoseok thought differently. Ever since I got drunk after a late night emergency meeting and blabbered the shit out to him about loving him so fucking much, he decided I am the one for him. God knows why. Whenever I try to tell him that he and I can't work, he seems to get more and more determined. This has been going on for some months. I have tried to tell him that this job is my dream and it's precious. I can't get fired and if I do, there's no way I'm getting another job in this kpop industry because by then I'll be known as the staff that "seduces the idols". I love him but I have to live, I have parents to support. 

But it seems like he is adamant to make things work between him and me. As much as it flutters my heart, it scares me as well. What if the higher ups catch it all? What if they rule me out of my dream project of Weverse magazine? What if they ask me to quit? What if I end up returning home! No no! Not a chance. I have to stay professional. Only if I wasn't a hybe staff, I would gladly accept his offer and would be already deciding upon our children's names. But no. I can't. Moreover, one thing I have understood, this glam life, fame, and attention aren't for me. It's all too complicated for me. I am better with my simple life. Now that I am done seeing Bangtan up close, and telling Hobi how much I love him, I can look forward and find a man to love and to be loved and settle down. 

However, Jung Hoseok won't let me. 

He had a different plan all along. He had a different plan when he dragged me into the empty copy room after seeing me giggling with one of male colleagues at the company cafeteria. He slammed me on the wall, whispered "You're mine" in my ears and pressed his lips on mine with such passion. Kinda possessive right? The only thing that his action did was make me fall for him even more. Making my strong-girl-pretense harder than ever. 

Only if my higher ups knew that I have been locking my lips with one of their biggest assets behind their backs then I'm sure, I was nowhere to be found in the company or maybe in the country, who knows. 

Back to the present, I still can't believe Hobi really wants me to be there in the party, when he clearly knows that I can't socialize, not even with people of my stature, and guests of his party were everything beyond my league. 

"It is his order Y/N and you know he can be really stubborn at times" his manager said. Well, who knows it better than me at this point. I knew there was no benefit of revolting to the manager. I need to call the mastermind. Excusing myself from them I went away to call Hobi. He received the third ring. "Hey, when are you coming? Why aren't you here yet? It has been almost 10 minutes since manager hyung left." Hoseok was very excited, I didn't even know why!" I started to put down my words carefully. "Hobi, you know I am not a great fan of parties and more specifically a party like yours. I am just a very big misfit there. I am sorry but I don't think I should..." "You're coming Y/N, if you don't want manager hyung to escort you then I myself will go and I am serious about it." His voice was demanding, authoritative even. I knew he was capable of leaving the party to take me with him and that would cause unnecessary drama, so I had to give in. 

I stepped into the party and it was a world itself. A world that knows nothing other than Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Balenciaga and I couldn't feel more self-conscious in my $20 zip up hoodie and a pair of loose fit ripped jeans. At this point I was sure, people would not hesitate to think that I am in charge of cleaning services. I spotted the man immediately. He is called sunshine for nothing. So glamorous and beautiful with the aura that he wears, everyone buzzed around him like bees buzz around the most aromatic flowers. I felt so small there that I wanted to run away. And I decided that I would after meeting him, telling him that I kept his request, oh well, his order. 

My reverie was broken with a honey dripping voice that I can recognise even in my unconscious mind. "Hey, Y/N" Jin said, walking up to me and my smile reached my eyes. "Oppa!" I was about to jump on him. "Why do you look like you wanna run away?" He asked. "Because that's exactly what I wanna do, Oppa. You know that I am nothing but a misfit here. I really did not want to be here but Hobi won't listen to anything." He smiled, and I melted. "Y/N you know that you're special to him and on his special day he just wants to keep his special person by his side. But I understand your point too. Why don't you talk to him? Tell him how you're feeling here?" Jin completed. I sighed, "I want to talk to him but he is busy, which is natural." 

"What's the tea?" The man of the night was now standing just behind me, "what are you two talking about without me?" "We were just talking about you Hoba." Jin said, "Now I'll leave the two of you alone and meet some people. Enjoy the night Y/N" with that he left with a wink. And within an instant, I felt myself being dragged by my arm to a room, which seemed to be the storage for the drinks and food for the night. 

And here I am again, pressed against another wall, the man towering over me looking at me as if he will devour me then and there. "I know Jin hyung is your bias wrecker or whatever you say. But you should remember that I am the main character. I am your main character." His tone was kinda sultry but I wasn't the one to show that he intimated me easily, so I threw my counter attack. Teasing him a bit I said, "So you're now jealous of your hyung? That's a shame". I didn't expect him to agree but he did and said, "oh, hell I am. And you know what? I should mark you as mine. Everyone should know you belong to me or at least belong to someone already. What do you say baby?" I didn't get what he was saying, "what do yo---" and I was cut off since my lips were attacked by his ever waiting one. I obviously didn't waste my time in kissing him back but in the midway I felt my arms being pinned over my head as he attacked my neck in the purpose of sucking a bruise. I understood his assignment now. As if I wasn't already ashamed of showing up here wearing E-mark Sunday market clothes that he had to increase it more by giving me hickies. "Hobi please no!" I protested but it was of no use. He kept on sucking my sweet spot while I wiggled as much as I could. His lips left my skin once he was satisfied enough. He pulled his head up and looked deep into my eyes, while I did the same. His low voice ringed, "now you're marked and anyone that approaches you here should be shown that. Understood?" I gulped and before I could reply anything his phone vibrated signaling that he was gone for a bit too longer than he should. 

We both left the storage room one by one interval by interval to dodge suspicion. Once I was out, he was nowhere to be seen. More like, he was at his own place, dancing and mingling with some of the goddess looking ladies. I couldn't help feeling a bitter feeling inside of me. And I stood there alone, like the low-class introvert that I was, watching others like I'm watching a TV, close to my eyes but far from touch. The more I watched him that night, the more I realized, he and I are from two different worlds, and these worlds can't collide. They should remain at their places for the peace of the universe. 

I was deep in my thoughts and my eyes were almost glassy with the impact, when another known voice approached me. "Y/N!! Did not expect to see you here! What's up?``said Lee Sung hoon, one of the graphics designers, hybe always works with. We have worked with him during some of our Weverse magazine projects. He is also in the team that worked for Hobi's album this time, so even if he didn't expect to meet me there, I expected. And now I was embarrassed by his question. I parted my lips to reply but didn't know what to say, "I -uh". He cut me off, "oh well, it's dumb of me to ask you the question, since we all know you're close with the boys. So, I am sure you're here as part of the guest list." "Well, yeah, kinda" I replied. It was both fortunate and unfortunate that I found him there. Fortune because I stopped feeling way too out of place and lonely. Unfortunate because I then had to reply to all of his flirtatious remarks that he has been throwing to me since the day we met. 

We were talking about something which gradually landed in Hoseok. Sung Hoon said, "He is the life of the party. Isn't he? I mean, Man look at him, all the ladies are going crazy even the older ones too. " I smiled and nodded. "You too have a crush on him, I know," he added. "Is it news? The entire company knows he is the reason why I am still single." I replied. Sung hoon was quick this time, "yeah, I know I know but don't you think you're wasting your time and your youth?". I questioned him, "What do you mean?" He continued, "Look at him Y/N, he is the Jung Hoseok! The richest member of the biggest boy band of this world. One of the major shareholders of the company itself. There are female idols dying to get into his pants. No, I am not saying that he is out of your league but at the same time I am saying it, you will only get yourself hurt. He is like a dream to people like us. They can only be polite to us but they can never love us back. That's the reality." All of it hit me hard and he continued, "I have seen you looking at him as If he has star casted in his body. So I am worried for you. As a senior in this industry, I would suggest you refrain yourself from falling for an idol. They will entertain your idea but they won't return your feelings. They will just use you as a thrill, the thrill of having the forbidden fruit but nothing more." Was it all I was to hobi? A forbidden fruit? 

Thinking about it then I realized that Hoseok has never said that he liked me or he felt anything for me. His weird affection suddenly started and then I found him saying I belong to him and nothing else. Never did he say that he liked me but he claimed my lips with every chance he got. Now that I could think about it, all the clouds seemed to be in a silver lining. To him I was just a thrill, which was just a purpose of free entertainment. He could never love to be back or at least like me cause I don't reach upto his standard. Finally it felt like I understood the deal and I couldn't take it anymore. I was just staring at the ground, desperately blinking my tears away. I couldn't hear a word sung hoon said. I finally pulled my head up and  looked at sung hoon. "I will leave now Mr. Lee, it's getting late and I may miss the bus. Enjoy the party." Saying that I turned my heels to walk away but he called me back, "Y/N wait! Let me drive you home. It's pretty late anyway." "No, no! The buses are still available I can manage." I smiled at him but he looked at me being determined. "Have you even eaten anything yet? I don't think you did. Let's get outta here. I am quite bored as well. Let's grab dinner at the snack bar and then I'll drive you home. What do you say?" He offered. I wanted to be alone but at the same time I didn't want loneliness to devour me. So I accepted his offer and left the party with him. 

Hoseok's side: 

The man was very busy today, after all it's his listening party and he had high profile guests to attend. But his heart was with that one person. His heart left his body in the store room. One song played after another to let the guests hear those exclusively. But all he was waiting for was that one song. The one that he wrote for her and added to the album at the very last minute. It was the night when she let out her drunken confession, he found himself looking at the stars from his balcony. The lyrics came into his mind when he thought of her face, her lips, her eyes, which held so much love for him. The love he never found in anyone else ever before. And finally today he was going to play The song. He planned it all. He planned to be in front of her when the song would play, he planned to look deep into her eyes and tell all the things he couldn't. He will do it tonight. Just two more songs before the party ends, before that one song played, he had to find her. 

Hoseok looked for her but there wasn't any sign of her. He was clearly stressed and angry when he couldn't find her. He proceeded towards the exit and enquired the guard, "Have you seen Y/N? Did she leave?" The guard replied in positive and his anger now reached to the peak. "Did she leave alone?" He enquired again. "No sir, Mr. Lee was with her. They left 8 minutes ago approximately." Okay! So she left with the guy who just finds the opportunity of getting her in the bed? He was so mad, so mad! He would punish her well this time. Without thinking much he exited the party. He went out of the back entrance as fast as he could, he wanted to catch her on the way and pull her back to the party. He went to the parking area but he saw sung hoon's car still parked, knowing it was his car from the name plate attached to the car for emergency contact purposes. He rushed out of the parking lot and got in the street and he could already see his beloved giggling with sung hoon sitting in the coffee shop just across the street through the glass walls. He wanted to punish her, he promised himself he would punish her but right now he needed to be at the party. He returned and asked the dj to skip the last song, he said it should be kept as a surprise track. 

They say acceptance is the key to happiness. But to me it was the key to the dam of my tears, they kept on flowing. It was past 1 am and I kept on crying since I arrived at home. No, I didn't expect him to make me his girlfriend or anything then why did it hurt so bad? Why did the idea of Hobi just playing with my feelings tear my heart like a paper? I stared at the patterns that my mood lamp drew at my ceiling and my silent tears made their way to my pillow. It was about 10 past 1 when the doorbell rang, making me startled. There was no way I could have a visitor this late at night. Then who could it be? I was so afraid. What if it's a robber or a sick rapist? A lot of people know that I live alone! What if it's a stalker? Another round of impatient boor bells rang. I gained some courage to finally open up the door. Turning on the lights of the drawing room I held the door knob of my 1bhk apartment. My senses left me making me dumb enough not to take a look through the peeping hole. A grasp left my lips upon opening the door, seeing Hoseok standing there with dark eyes. 

"Hobi? What are you doing here at this hour?" I asked him in confusion. Well truth to be told, I knew why he was here probably but I was confused why didn't he call me first to know why I left the party. To be honest, it hurt me more when I didn't receive a single call from him which led me towards strengthening the ground of my assumptions. "Why? Did you expect someone else at this hour?" His voice was low but he almost growled and I knew he was super mad at me. "No, I mean, come in '' I asked him to enter my embarrassing home. 

Within what feels like a fraction of a second, I felt myself yet again being pinned at the nearest wall. Did this man have some fetish for pinning me? I thought to myself. His eyes were dark and those were measuring me from up to down as if I was naked, when the truth is I was clad in my comfy shorts and an oversized shirt with no bra on. 

His grip on my wrists tightened when he further pushed me to the wall and said, "how dare you leave the party? Without informing me? That too with another man?" He hissed. "So what would I do when I feel like a misfit at your glam party? That was not my place to be in Hoseok! Why don't you understand? You have seen me at parties before! I am the one who always stays in the corner! Even in the company parties where I know most of the people, I stay aside and you know it all very well. So you should understand how out of place I would feel in a party full of celebrities! I was so fucking embarrassed with the way I looked today among all of them! I can not even name the brands they were wearing! Their shoes were worth more than my entire apartment! Yet I was there! Just because you forced Me. Just because you wanted to make a fool out of me. I was fucking embarrassed and anxious Hoseok! Why the hell did you want me there? Why?" I burst out being unable to contain it anymore. My tears rolled down my cheeks and Hoseok's eyes softened. He let my hands free and wiped my tears away with his thumb. He gently said, "do you really think I would force you to the party just because... Just because.. I wanted to make you look like a fool? I wouldn't do that Y/N. I wouldn't even think of doing anything like this even in my wildest dreams. There was a reason, baby. There was a reason why I needed you there." And I was still angry with everything. I burst out again, "and need me for what?? For what exactly Jung Hoseok? To show me how different your and my worlds are? To show me that I can't even love you? To show me that I am nothing but a cheap thrill to you? To make me believe that I can never be the one for you?". "Shut the fuck up!" His eyes were ablaze. He was clearly infuriated at this point. He held my shoulders and pushed me to the wall again. "You don't get to say anything! You just don't get to put your words in my mouth! I fucking wrote a damn song for you to tell you how I feel for you and forced you to the party so that I could let the World know that you're mine and I'm yours. To let all the guests of the party know that they are only listeners but the girl right beside me was the muse. But what did you do? You left! You left with that nutjob who desperately wants you in his bed! And when I went to look for you, I found you giggling with him!! Tell me is that fair? Tell me is it fair that you choose to stay away even when you love me? Tell me is it fair that I had to chase you when you could easily run into my arms? Tell me Y/N is it fair that you choose to stay oblivious when I..." His voice shook a bit but he continued anyway "when I am desperate for you? When I am in fucking love with you?" My eyes widen with the sudden confession. Was it really not a dream? The man of my dreams was in love with me? Is it even possible?

Before I could say something Hoseok continued, "but now, I have had enough. Enough of this push and pull game of yours. You never reciprocate to me properly but you also never hesitate to kiss me back when I kiss you! What do you want Y/N? Stop giving me mixed signals! Stop being so afraid! Tonight either let me claim you completely or push me away. If you decide to push me away I promise I will never disturb you again." With that he left my hands and just stood in front of me. I wanted to push him away so badly but just the thought of him stopping "disturbing me" knocked me off my breath. He was right. I was being a coward, I was being afraid of the future and I declined to enjoy the present. That's it. Yeah! Carpe diem! Let's live in the present. Hoseok loves me. The man of my dreams loves me. I needed to claim him. And I pressed my lips on his. He didn't even take a second to kiss me back. But he pulled back immediately and said, "So should I take this as an answer?" I looked deep into his eyes and said, "Claim me, Jung Hoseok." "Are you sure? Cause once I claim you, there's no going back." He breathed out. I pressed my lips on his as the response and he devoured me without wasting a second. 

And that night he claimed all of me. He claimed me by sealing his lips with mine. He claimed me by touching me everywhere he could. He claimed me by painting bruises all over my body. He claimed me by stuffing me with his fingers and his dick. He claimed me my fucking me raw and shooting his cum in me. He claimed me by naming my v-card in his name. I was sore the next morning and the pain shot through me, the moment I opened my eyes. I actually didn't expect him to stay over. I thought he would leave early when the streets would still be deserted. But there he was laying beside me, looking at me with his sleepy eyes. oh! Was I really waking up beside the man of my dreams? It isn't a dream right? It couldn't be, I was still sore with his claim all over me. "You didn't leave? I thought you would leave." I said. He smiled at me and replied, "I didn't come here to leave Y/N. And I am not leaving till the album releases. I need you to listen to the song, with me beside you." I smiled at his response, I was still in a daze. It was All hard for me to believe. "Can I ask you something?" I asked, staring into his dark brown orbs. "Sure, go ahead."  He replied. "Why do you love me, Hoseok? I don't have anything to be loved by a man like you." I finally let out my biggest question ever. He smiled at me, pulling me closer with his one arm draped around my waist. "I love you because you love Jung Hoseok more than you love Jhope. Jhope is loved by millions but Jung Hoseok still craves to be loved. The love that I found in your eyes for the first time when we were introduced. But I didn't think much of it until you decided to confess after being drunk that night. Your love is precious to me Y/N and I don't know if I can find a love like yours if I let you go. And this is what made me adamant to make you mine. And when you didn't reciprocate just because you thought you're not good enough for me, it made me angry. And I burst out seeing you with someone else. Now, remember you are mine and I am yours. So don't you dare ignore me. I'll teach you tough lessons if you do." He completed it. I giggled, shoving my head in his bare chest and we stayed like this until it was time to listen to his song. The song that was written solely for me, oh what a feeling to be a muse. Sitting on my couch being wrapped around in his arms, we kissed and listened to, "Not a dream" 

"Oh I am standing before you

It's not a dream

I am reaching out for you 

It's not a dream

Don't be so afraid

A love like this is hard to find

Tell me you love me too 

Cause you are all there in my mind."  

[lewyn-martell]

i was just gonna put a reply but it got kinda long 😬

i think there's an argument to be made that it's not exactly the adaptation's fault. i never took that from the movie and was kinda surprised some years later that internet fandom saw him like that. (only kinda because you always expect the romantic male lead to be granted as many excuses as possible.)

but i still struggle with takes both from adaptation(s) and book fans that p&p is Actually Not a story of a man learning to let go of his prejudices and reining in his prideful nature and having to actually humble himself in front of the love he has for a woman he's insulted in every possible way to finally do justice to his feelings for her; but rather that it's two equally prideful and prejudiced(??) people needing to undergo personal growth to accept things about the other and be more open to each other or whatever the fuck (emphasis on making sure lizzy was so totally in the wrong too).

SAWRRY if i think a woman being kinda judgy and having a bit of fun at the expanse of the prideful disagreeable man she is forced to be around (who insulted her and her family), and running with a bit of juicy gossip (which she didn't even pass around iirc, she just held it against him when she found out yet another reprehensible action that caused a lot of pain to her sister) are endearing and not problematic at all character traits/flaws that lizzy was not in the wrong to indulge in. saw sawrry if i think the character arc of lizzy was one of changed perspective and not exactly a growth of character values to "at last" get to know the "true character" of mr. darcy and that it's an arc just as engaging and interesting as one of personal, internal change would be. saw sawwww sawrry if i think she was correct in being quick to judge him in the exact manner he chose to present himself. so what he had hidden depths. he was a clown. if you want her to be aware of it you do the work it takes to make a woman look twice your way which includes the oh so terribly difficult ordeal of making an effort to be polite and sympathetic. but no, to a lot of fans, lizzy was so so mean to judge poor little boy darcy so wrongly because she liked to go around making harmless assumptions of people's characters while interacting with them... as any one does. let her be a proto 'to me you are what you do' girl. not like she 's incapable of owning up to any mistakes she makes while doing it. i think that gives her more pizzazz lol

(funnily enough, i always see two kinds of complaints about lizzy: either that she is too perfect or that she is more flawed than should be allowed. make up yalls minds lmao)

anyways, the only minor problem i have with the 2005 movie is the implication that elizabeth already kinda wanted to fuck him even since he was a jerk, which couldn't be less true. pushing his buttons a little was literally a passing hobby for her until he became too hateful to entertain.

nothing actually makes me side eye the 2005 pride and prejudice adaption more than the fact that ever since it came out the general consensus is that poor poor mr darcy is shy and anxious when he literally was guilty of excessive pride and looking down on people like yeah lizzy is also prideful and quick to judge but good lord did the 2005 movie give him the saddest wettest eyes and say he’s just a little baby

[rinadragomir]

I fully understand your feelings about not being able to say that you liked Chain of Thorns, even if it’s only a little bit because I feel the same way. People are allowed to have hated the book, dislike the book, feel meh about it, like the book, love the book, or have whatever feelings towards the book that they want, but when it’s gotten to the point where the people who enjoyed the book feel like they can’t say anything, that’s a problem. The people of this fandom are the reason that I stay out of it and don’t come near it. I create my own person bubble, and I am perfectly content there.

Me, I’m personally someone who loved the book, but that’s because I threw out any theories or expectations that I had prior to reading it. Like sure, I had them, but I knew I had to go in with an open mind, just like I do every book I read, whether it’s part of a series or not. Was the book perfect? No, what book is? (The day a book is considered perfect is the day that I win the lottery). For me, however, I was satisfied with it. I couldn’t put it down, and when I can’t put a book down, that tells me that it’s something that I will love the rest of my life. The only expectation that I had of Cassie was for her to give me a book that I enjoyed, and she gave me that. Point blank.

Nonono I'm not afraid to say I loved Chain of Thorns. Like GUYS🤌🏻 if I'll make a post where I'm complimenting this book AND ANY OF YOU DECIDE TO FUCKING SEND HATE?! - YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD🔪 I'm gonna bully you for the rest of my days, you'll regret even thinking about sending hate

The thing is: I don't feel like posting about chot AT ALL🤷🏼‍♀️ I'm trying to make edits, reblog sth interesting I find on my dash sometimes, but I refuse to go through any TSC tags, especially Chain of Thorns (cause someone can make a hate post about for example Lucie and then casually use #tmi #tid #tda. The dander is everywhere)

I thought I was strong enough to make positive content by myself, I know there are people who wanna enjoy a fun Tumblr experience just like me and I really want to give them such an opportunity. But I literally can't find any motivation or strength to start it. The hate wave was just TOO OVERWHELMING.

I was online 24/7 the first week after chot was released and it was the worst post-book online experience in my life😮‍💨 You read sth -> you open Twitter/Tumblr to see people's reaction on this scene -> you see hate. You wanna chat with your moots about certain scene you liked -> you text them -> you see "yes but you know what I hated about it-". And i was going through this for more than a week. I was hoping sth might change. But nothing changed.

It doesn't matter how much you like something, if it's surrounded by SO MUCH HATE DAILY - you simply can't be as excited as you were in the beginning ;-;

People are allowed to express their opinions, react to sth, even if their reaction is posting hate daily for the entire month☝🏻 (but if you think sending hate to the author is okay - there's sth wrong with you, you need professional help). And no one is allowed to stop them, they're not doing anything illegal! But my mistake was that I ALLOWED them to ruin MY exciting experience. So I'm not making the same mistake twice. My choice - to avoid anything that can make me feel bad.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Hi! I'm really enjoying your event asks so far! For day 3 can you do Gojyo with prompt 10, the intimacy prompt? He's such an interesting character when it comes to intimacy cause of his whole background, but I love him so much! Just gotta imagine the beautiful fucker (affectionate) being intimate! 😊

Hi there! I’m so very glad that you’re enjoying the event so far! And I definitely agree with you in how interesting Gojyo is, especially in terms of how he deals with interpersonal relationships and intimacy and how his past will colour them. He’s definitely an all time favourite character of mine (and I definitely call him affectionately dirty cuss words too, so I assumed the affection was there, haha!)

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: As you lovely readers can tell, I crossed these two sections out because I try very hard not to talk about my personal opinions of what character’s specific orientations would be. I do this to avoid fandom drama and because it allows me to be more inclusive to all readers so just assume that whatever opinion makes you feel happiest or aligns with what you need it to be to feel like Gojyo would love you…the answer is that.

SEXUAL ROLES: dominant. submissive. versatile.

PENETRATIVE PREFERENCES: I do personally feel like, regardless of whether he’s being dominant or submissive, regardless of the genitals of who he is with, Gojyo does prefer to be the one penetrating. He doesn’t want to be penetrated. The very idea of it will be one that is difficult to grapple with and he sticks with what makes him comfortable and what fits into his own views on sex, which is to be the one penetrating. And make no mistake – his penetrative power will play into his sexual world-view and he does tie a lot of how well he performs and how good his dick game is into his views of his own self-worth and his own manliness.

DOES YOUR MUSE USE A STRAP-ON?: No, I don’t think Gojyo would use a strap-on and he prefers sexy-times to be more organic and not to focus heavily on toys. Again, I really do think that sex with a super heavy focus on sex toys will feel almost like a perceived threat or insult to his sexual abilities and his ability to bring pleasure to his partner.

POSITIONS AS A TOP: being ridden. missionary. lotus. doggy. flatiron. legs on shoulders. standing up. standing while partner sits on surface. spooning. side by side.

POSITIONS AS A BOTTOM: riding. missionary. lotus. doggy. flatiron. legs on shoulders. standing up. sitting on surface. spooning. side by side.

SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS: monogamous (it will be a struggle but he can be monogamous, though there are likely to be issues sticking to monogamy early on I a relationship). polyamorous. open. casual. committed???? (this one has so many question marks because he definitely wants this on some level but it also terrifies the fuck out of him and he’s not even sure if he’s capable of, or good enough to deserve, commitment).

RELATIONSHIP ROLES: dominant. submissive. equal. nurturing. being nurtured. monetary provider. monetarily dependent. shared monetary burden. independent monetary responsibility. manages household. shares household management. prefers independent living spaces. likes having household managed by partner.

THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE: Again, this goes back to the same sort of thinking as any type of commitment. Gojyo gets antsy around the subject of commitment of any type, but at the same time, he really does want it, almost to the point where it is a craving for him. He’s so scared that he can’t commit, that he’ll mess up and fuck it all up. He’s scared that he’ll never find someone who wants to commit to him, just for who he is. Because he’s not sure that he’s honestly worth it, that he brings anything worthwhile into their lives besides giving them sexual pleasure.

DOES YOUR MUSE GET JEALOUS/POSSESSIVE?: I do feel like he can feel really jealous, but I don’t think he gets overly possessive. He doesn’t often think he has the right to, especially since he can’t give them a lot of what he does think they deserve – commitment, a happy and stable life, kids and marriage and a family, someone who can always be good to them and who doesn’t carry all this extra baggage. So he does get jealous but mostly just gets annoyed or petty in his jealousy.

DOES YOUR MUSE LIKE POSSESSIVE PARTNERS?: I do think that Gojyo would actually get a kick out of a possessive partner, and it would really stroke his ego. He likes the idea that someone loves him to that extent, that they want and need him enough to be threatened or angry at someone flirting with him…that they’ve marked him as theirs. And I do think that sometimes, sometimes he’ll go out of his way to kind of spike that possessiveness of theirs, just because he needs that reminder and that feeling of being claimed as important enough to be someone’s.

DO THEY LIKE DOM/SUB ROLES IN ALL ASPECTS OF RELATIONSHIPS? (i.e., dom’s responsibility both sexually and in life is to take care of the sub and look after them, sometimes utilizing sexual and nonsexual rewards/punishments to incentivize them to carry out self-care or other responsibilities): He likes the fantasy of it. He both wants someone to take care of and desperately needs and wants someone to take care of him. That being said, the actual physical reality and logistics of it doesn’t really work out in any relationships he’s in and it’s not something he’s going to practice since the fantasy of it is far superior to the lived experience.

WHAT DOES AFTERCARE LOOK LIKE TO THEM?: Now, true aftercare is not something Gojyo will give in a casual hook-up because aftercare to him does require quite a bit more intimacy than he’ll be comfortable with. For hook-ups, he will sit with them for a bit, smoke, shoot the shit…he’s not so crass as to literally fuck and run, but there’s definitely a huge emotional wall that he puts up to separate the two of them. For a more committed or consistent sexual relationship, he would let a little bit of that wall come down a bit and he puts  a bit more care into aftercare, with a little bit more pillow talk, with some mild touching and softness afterwards. However, the aftercare he wants and really craves, he won’t let himself have because he really does crave cuddling, long and meandering but truthful pillow talks where secrets get shared, back rubs and kisses and just genuine love, which he doesn’t even know if he is honestly capable of.

WHAT ARE WAYS THEY PREFER TO BUILD EMOTIONAL INTIMACY?: I do think personal, emotional intimacy is actually something Gojyo works hard to prevent. He doesn’t want to feel that for people because he does get really scared to let people in, fearful that they’ll leave, that they’ll find him lacking like so many others did. So while there are ways he will definitely prefer to build it, he works very damn hard to make sure that those ways don’t get chances to come into play, shutting down even the hint that they might.

[zealoushound]

Dreams

Summary: After having several nightmares you just wanted to be cuddled.

Pairing: reader (gender non-specific) x open male partner

Word Count: 553

Warnings: nightmares, fear of intimacy/commitment? (I guess, if you squint), angst

A/N: Based on my dreams last night and the desire to have someone hold me and make them go away. This is an “insert character here” type of drabble. This could be literally any character, any fandom so insert your own dream guy and enjoy.

Disclaimer: FEEL FREE TO REBLOG IF YOU LIKE THE STORY! Writers live off reblogs! Do not copy any portion of my material to claim as your own. Do not repost my work, or any portions of my work on any site and claim it as your own.

***

It wasn’t so much falling asleep that troubled me; it was what I’d find once I crossed the veil.

The nightmares that plagued my sleep tonight were not a common, nor welcome visitor. Yet every time I closed my eyes something new and terrifying awaited me.

Falling into an endless sea of darkness where little nasties reached out their crooked hands to pull and grab at whatever came near.

Next came the faceless creature that lurked behind unknowing loved ones as I sat in horror, trying to warn them to no avail. Unable to look away, paralyzed by fear.

Each time I would wake I would try to do something, anything, to chase the demons away.

I tried rolling over, getting some water; clearing my mind. No.

I tried walking to the bathroom. Surely that would wake me enough to start fresh. No.

Finally, I awoke the third time with a jolt. My brows furrowed with discomfort, lips parted in a silent scream. A part of me desperately tries to cling to reality while the other pulls me toward the nightmare that I have since forgotten. I gasp when the part clinging to this side of awareness wins out.

That’s when I felt... him. I had tried not to wake him. It’s difficult not to when you’re sharing a bed with someone. The first couple of times were different but I must have shaken the bed when I woke up this time.

I was afraid of his reaction. I’d only spent the night with him a few times in our budding relationship. In the past men had ignored me completely or asked me to get up. I feared a repeat.

He rolled to face my back. He propped his head up on his hand.

“Are you ok?” His other large, warm hand rested on my hip as the tears sprang to my eyes.

“Um..” was all I could muster.

“You’ve had quite a difficult night haven’t you, darling?”

I nod, refusing to face him while the tears silently fall onto my pillow. I just wanted to sleep with him. Not in the carnal way, but in the way that makes you feel safe and whole. I had never had that with anyone. Why did I let myself feel this would be any different?

“May I hold you?”

I couldn’t help the sudden gasp that escaped my parted lips. It was all I’d wanted and he was willing. I allowed Joy to play at my heartstrings. Sure, it could be a mistake, but what’s one more mistake to a heart that’s being bound together with super glue and duct tape?

The lump in my throat wouldn’t allow words to pass so I nodded my response instead. His huge frame pressed against mine immediately, cradling me in protection.

I felt warm.

I felt safe.

His body was perfectly flush against mine. His heavy arm draped across my body; his hand seeking mine. Finding it, he held tightly to it. Kissing my neck gently he began to play with my fingers making me giggle softly.

Joy swayed in my heart with delight. Maybe this one is it? Maybe this one won’t hurt us?

Maybe, Joy… maybe. I drifted into a peaceful slumber, safe and warm in his strong embrace before any other thoughts could chime in.

***

[miraculouscontent]

Who wants more sad statistics~?

Because say hello to the color-coded guide to Marinette blame/mistakes! Obviously there’s some room for debate (even I struggled with how to color an episode from time to time), but it should be mostly accurate.

Blue = "Marinette wasn't really blamed for anything notable and didn't really suffer from Adrien" Cyan = "Marinette was blamed for something unrelated to Adrien that she didn't do/she shouldn't be made to feel bad for" (this one is probably the most subjective) Green = "Marinette was blamed/made a mistake but it had nothing to do with Adrien" Yellow = "Marinette doesn't technically make a mistake or get blamed, but is negatively impacted by her crush on/relationship to Adrien" Red = "Marinette either was blamed for/made a mistake that related to Adrien."

"Negatively impacted by her crush on Adrien" could mean generally anything, but it leans towards Marinette embarrassing herself in front of Adrien, characters making snippy/unnecessary comments about her crush, and things that wouldn't have happened if her Adrien crush didn't exist. In the case that Marinette makes a mistake/is improperly blamed for something not about Adrien (cyan/green) but also is negatively impacted by her relationship to him (yellow), whatever is given more attention will take priority. There could've easily been a lot of cyan+red episodes had I allowed myself to use two colors.

Now look at all that red, which is easily the most frequent color, and then try and tell me that Marinette's crush isn't just a tool to humiliate her and force her to make mistakes in order to fit the "Marinette makes a mistake" quota.

I've put the explanations below on my decisions for each episode, as well as the tally for everything together:

Season 1

"Stormy Weather" (red) - Marinette blames herself for leaving Manon, and they're only at the park in the first place because of her Adrien crush.

"The Bubbler" (red) - Marinette uses Lucky Charm explicitly to stop Chloe and Adrien from dancing together.

"The Pharoah" (green) - Ladybug drops her schoolbook; relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, but seems to be why the show forces Marinette to awkwardly try to keep Alya in the museum instead of just having Tikki directly point out where to go.

"Lady Wifi" (green) - Marinette overslept while doing homework and was late for class

"Timebreaker" (cyan) - Marinette is blamed for not being home to give the cake to Nadja... who came early and thus Marinette shouldn't have been expected to expect her

"Mr. Pigeon" (yellow) - Marinette embarrasses herself in front of Adrien, with Alya making faces at her all the while

"The Evillustrator" (cyan) - Marinette is blamed for ditching Sabrina when she has an akuma to worry about, accused of "being like Chloe" (i.e: the person who Sabrina immediately goes back to anyway)

"Rogercop" (red) - Marinette, after being accused, states that everyone has the potential to be guilty, but sidesteps Adrien when someone suggests it

"Copycat" (red) - Marinette, panicked by an embarrassing confession she left on Adrien's phone (thanks to Alya), steals it to delete the message (also thanks to Alya)

"Dark Cupid" (red) - Marinette forgets to sign the love letter addressed to Adrien, which Alya laughs at her for

"Horrificator" (red) - Marinette is pressured/convinced to play Mylene's role instead when Alya throws out that she'd be kissing Adrien

"Darkblade" (cyan) - Marinette doesn't want to run for class representative because she already has enough on her plate (...what a monster?); both Alya and Alix make snarky comments at her for this

"The Mime" (green) - Marinette deletes a video on Alya phone and spends the rest of the episode trying to recreate it

"Kung Food" (cyan) - Marinette blames herself for defending her great uncle and insulting Chloe (again... what a monster?), which leads to Chloe sabotaging Wang's cooking

"Gamer" (red) - Marinette enters the gaming competition solely for Adrien

"Animan" (yellow) - Marinette offers to get Nino a date with Alya, an event that wouldn't have taken place if not for Marinette's crush (either there wouldn't have been a zoo trip at all or Alya wouldn't have been there); in addition, Alya tells Nino about Marinette's Adrien crush, which Marinette is distraught by

"Antibug" (cyan) - Ladybug is blamed for "not accepting help from others" (except she did at the beginning of the episode) and not listening to Chloe (who is a habitual liar)

"The Puppeteer" (green) - Marinette folds to Manon's "baby doll eyes" and gives her something that Nadja insisted she not have

"Reflekta" (green) - Marinette tries to steal Guiseppe's SD camera card so Juleka's picture will need retaken

"Pixelator" (red) - Marinette shirks her job as Jagged's gopher in order to get back to Adrien as soon as possible

"Guitar Villain" (blue) - Not much happens, just cool Marinette stuff; there are technically scenes of Marinette embarrassing herself around Adrien, but either no one else was there to witness it or there wasn't any significant reaction to it

"Princess Fragrance" (red) - Alya forces Marinette to go talk to Adrien, which results in Marinette tripping and losing Tikki

"Simon Says" (cyan) - Marinette... I guess is at fault for struggling to keep up with schoolwork and hero duties? That's what you get for wanting to help people, Ladybug

"Volpina" (red) - Marinette is mocked for being jealous, her following Adrien is presented as her doing it jealously (she literally says that she's going to warn Adrien about Lila stealing the book from him before Tikki stops her, but okay), and she yells at Lila as Ladybug, which is also presented as being "only about Adrien."

"Origins - Part 1 (Ladybug & Cat Noir)" (green) - Ladybug neglects to capture the akuma, having forgotten that detail

"Origins - Part 2 (Stoneheart)" (green) - The mistake from Part 1 carries over... the episode also may or may not blame Marinette for encouraging Ivan.

blue - 1 cyan - 6 green - 7 yellow - 2 red - 10

Season 2

"A Christmas Special" (red) - Marinette's "Adrien blindness" causes her to jump to conclusions and believe that a Santa Claus lookalike is an akuma

"The Collector" (red) - Marinette lies to Master Fu in order to protect Adrien, not able to believe that Adrien could be Hawk Moth

"Despair Bear" (red) - Marinette goes to Chloe's party for Adrien and is repeatedly mocked/teased for this

"Prime Queen" (cyan) - Ladybug "makes a mistake" in getting upset at Nadja for trying to pry into her romantic relationships and her potential romance with Chat Noir

"Befana" (cyan) - Marinette is blamed for "lying" to her grandmother about going to a birthday party with her friends (she didn't) and "not wanting to spend time with her" (she did, Gina is the one who neglected Marinette for literal years)

"Riposte" (cyan) - One of the more subjective ones, but going frame-by-frame, Adrien's saber bends first yet the episode calls Marinette "flustered" and "new to fencing" to say that she's wrong in her choice

"Robostus" (blue) - Mostly free of crush and mistakes, episode focuses primarily on the main plot of the akuma being caused (if I had a color for Marinette just normally being mocked/embarrassed though, it'd be here)

"Gigantitan" (red) - Needs no explanation: Marinette is embarrassed in front of the girls multiple times and the entire subplot causes the akuma that almost hits Gorilla

"The Dark Owl" (green) - Ladybug orchestrates a situation in which the Dark Owl could save her so as to not hurt his feelings, which ends in him being found out, humiliated, and akumatized

"Glaciator" (red) - Marinette is upset because Adrien didn't show up to get ice cream with her, which leads to her blowing up on Andre

"Sapotis" (blue) - Marinette goes largely blameless for everything; not much here

"Gorizilla" (yellow) - Multiple "jokes"/"mocking" about Marinette revealing skin/being in her pajamas in front of Adrien

"Captain Hardrock" (blue) - Surprisingly void of blame on Marinette despite her being depressed over Adrien; if anything, Luka apologizes for making a teasing comment when she was upset

"Zombizou" (cyan) - Marinette is blamed for being upset with Chloe for ruining her gift for Miss Bustier

"Syren" (cyan) - Ladybug is blamed for keeping secrets from Chat Noir (look at the Adrien stans for reference)

"Frightningale" (red) - Marinette is bothered by Chloe being Ladybug, but Adrien is involved so the fandom can easily put blame on her concerning her Adrien crush (see Marinette salters for reference)

"Troublemaker" (red) - Marinette's Adrien pictures are intentionally inflated/exaggerated to humiliate her more

"Anansi" (green) - I wouldn't argue if someone suggested that this is a cyan: Marinette "makes a mistake" in cheating Nora's arm-wrestle with Nino since Nora was being unreasonable

"Sandboy" (green) - Marinette agrees with Tikki that they should do something to help Nooroo without asking Fu

"Reverser" (cyan) - Marinette peeks at Marc's work and tries to help him work with Nathaniel (I see, so when Alya meddles to push Marinette past her comfort zone, it's fine, but--); she also embarrasses herself in front of Adrien over this

"Frozer" (red) - Marinette suffers because Adrien's an idiot and has tons of people in relationships to ask advice from, and he chooses to ask Marinette; Marinette appears to be "blamed" for either wanting to move on (due to the girls fighting) or agreeing to go with Adrien, along with a "bonus" (almost earning a cyan) due to Chat throwing a hissy fit over her rejecting him

"Style Queen" (cyan) - Marinette is blamed for thinking that the magic ladybugs would bring the miraculous back to Fu (see "Sentibubbler" covering for Chat for reference on how the narrative sees this)

"Queen Wasp" (cyan) - Carried over from "Style Queen"; Ladybug is blamed for losing the miraculous

"Malediktator" (red) - Marinette is made to feel bad for being glad that her bully of many years is gone (almost earning a cyan here, or even a yellow), and this is all due to Adrien; he also unintentionally convinces her to give Chloe a miraculous (her "mistake" according to future episodes), which sets off a slew of events that makes her suffer

"Catalyst" (cyan) - Alya not believing Marinette due to her Adrien crush carries over from "Volpina," almost earning this a red, but Marinette also lies about her gift for Heroes' Day. However, the fact that she is completely sleep-deprived from the night before and was being made fun of for only bringing macarons is largely ignored by the narrative and treated too much as her fault

"Mayura" (red) - When going to correct her mistake from last episode, Adrien throwing a pity party for himself makes Marinette go back on it

blue - 3 cyan - 9 green - 3 yellow - 1 red - 10

Season 3

"Backwarder" (red) - Marinette gives Adrien the wrong letter (due to each slip of paper she has conveniently looking the exact same but the episode clearly indicates it to be her fault); she's also humiliated over this

"Weredad" (cyan) - Marinette lies to Chat Noir in a panic to protect her identity. The fact that Chat Noir is an idiot who wonders why Marinette might be on her own darn balcony and that Tikki doesn't offer a better solution for the situation is given no attention

"Chameleon" (red) - Alya believing that Marinette is only upset with Lila over Adrien presumably carries over from "Volpina" and "Catalyst;" Marinette's relationship with Adrien also seems to make her more inclined to believe in what he says about doing nothing about Lila

"Animaestro" (red) - No explanation needed; Marinette's Adrien crush makes her more inclined to believe Chloe (remember "Malediktator" and "Zombizou"?) when Chloe claims that Kagami stole her seat next to Adrien, which convinces Marinette to team up with Chloe against Kagami, and this leads to Marinette being embarrassed over her crush

"Bakerix" (green) - Marinette makes a mistake in... I guess riling up her grandfather? (this one's pretty subjective and I wouldn't argue with anyone who says this should be cyan)

"Silencer" (blue) - Regardless of what "Crocoduel" says, Marinette isn't blamed in this episode for challenging Bob Roth

"Oblivio" (cyan) - Marinette seems to weirdly be blamed/punished for getting upset with Chat Noir if the smugness of Chat+Alya about the taken picture is to be believed (perhaps """explained""" in "Reflekdoll" about Chat having his role to play as the "sense of humor")

"Stormy Weather 2" (yellow) - Marinette spends a portion of the episode sulking about the little progress she's made with Adrien

"Reflekdoll" (red) - Needs no explanation: Marinette's anxiety is caused by Adrien and she's blamed for it despite Alya orchestrating everything

"Oni-Chan" (red) - Marinette chases after Adrien and Lila, which is made to be completely about Marinette's crush on Adrien despite Marinette telling Tikki about her actual concerns (which end up coming true as Kagami gets akumatized)

"Miraculer" (cyan) - Chat gets snippy with Ladybug for not telling Chloe right away (apparently assuming that Ladybug doesn't have other obligations to attend to like school; she even tells Chat that she "wouldn't have time that day"), and Ladybug was literally about to before the sentimonster and Miraculer show up

"The Puppeteer 2" (red) - Marinette repeatedly pushed and punished for liking Adrien, then punished again in front of Adrien (who she thinks is a statue) when she was actually just taking the advice that Tikki gave her

"Desperada" (red) - The guitar scene (i.e: "huh, who would've known that my wingwoman for Adrien was actually trying to wingwoman me with Luka one time!"), Aspik (i.e: "wow, the guy who I thought was perfect because that's what the narrative is always telling me actually doesn't fit what the narrative was telling me!"), and that's all I need to say

"Startrain" (blue) - Mostly mistakeless on Marinette's end; the focus is on other characters/plots (again, if I had a color for Marinette being mocked/embarrassed though, it'd also go here)

"Kwamibuster" (blue) - Marinette isn't blamed for anything; even though Master Fu isn't aware of the events at first, Tikki apologizes to Marinette in front of him later

"Feast" (yellow) - Marinette is briefly distracted by Adrien until Alya chides her so that she can show Marinette the information she might as well have hand-delivered to Hawk Moth

"Ikari Gozen" (red) - Marinette tries to sabotage her and Kagami to prevent Kagami from meeting up with Adrien

"Timetagger" (cyan) - Tikki notes Marinette's bad excuses (which are due to the sheer amount of akuma) to the point where Alya had replaced her as babysitter before Marinette explained that she couldn't show up (I wouldn't argue with anyone who said this should be blue instead)

"Party Crasher" (red) - Marinette tries to crash the secret boys-only party in order to spend time with Adrien

"Gamer 2.0" (cyan) - Marinette+Ladybug is blamed for being upset that they have no time for anything, with Ladybug in particular "making the mistake" of taking over and failing due to Chat constantly goofing off despite her urging

"Chat Blanc" (red) - Marinette is pressured/threatened by the girl squad (specifically Rose) enough that she decides to sneak into Adrien's house

"Felix" (yellow) - Marinette, after "finally" confessing to Adrien (for like--the fourth time), ends up running off and rambling in front of Luka (not knowing that he's there), which embarrasses her

"Ladybug" (red) - Alya's doubts of Marinette's hatred of Lila (implied in "Volpina" and stated in "Catalyst" to be about her crush on Adrien) carries over as Alya chides Marinette for blaming Lila, and had Marinette not listened to Adrien in "Chameleon," Lila may have been stopped early on and she wouldn't have gotten expelled (otherwise, the episode would've gotten a "cyan" because how dare Marinette be emotional at being accused of cheating and get angry at Lila)

"Christmaster" (red) - Marinette lies to Chris (in the exact way that Alya does to Manon in "Stormy Weather" but sure) in order to protect her darn privacy so Chris doesn't find out about her chest full of Adrien gifts, which leads to Chris getting akumatized

"Heart Hunter" (red) - Ladybug neglects to detransform due to being distracted by Adrimi happening, which leads to long-lasting and overly harsh consequences

"Miracle Queen" (red) - Ladybug's mistake carries over from the previous episode

blue - 3 cyan - 5 green - 1 yellow - 3 red - 14

Total: blue - 7 cyan - 20 green - 11 yellow - 6 red - 34