#⛓️┈┈┈•༶ requests
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wavyskies · 7 months ago
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Not quite sure if supernatural is on your whitelist ! But I was hoping I could request a tumblr layout of Sam Winchester !! But if you don't accept Supernatural requests. Could I perhaps request a tumblr layout of Bucky Barnes from Marvel ( live action or comic I don't mind either one ! ) please and thank you very much !
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Bucky Barnes Tumblr Layout
F2U. Credit, likes and reblogs are appreciated but not necessary. Dividers NF2U.
PSD creds: link
Note: yo! Thanks a ton for the dope manners, it's super appreciated! Here's your layout. Also, Bucky Barnes is top tier...
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sinful-lanterns · 8 months ago
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Silly thought but Cabernet, being a food critic that she is, using marker on you after sex, doodling five stars above your pussy deeming it a five star meal.
Or
Cabernet, after tasting : It's... passable but nothing will be better than this one meal I had in my life.
Chef, wanting to know what it was so he can try and re-create it : Can I ask for the name of such dish?
Cabby, not batting an eye and staring deeply into his eyes. Unblinking. : my wife's cunt.
HAIDJWJDJ. Cabernet’s favorite meal is no longer grapes. It’s her wife’s pussy 👌
Imagine if during the Insatiable Fiesta event, she tastes McGrath’s cooking and is like “mm, it’s alright.” And McGrath who is desperate, asks Cabernet what she would like to eat as she would make it right away for her! Imagine McGrath’s surprise when Cabernet immediately goes “you have my wife here?” And she instantly begins salivating at the thought.
Good luck to any chefs trying to recreate your pussy taste for Cabernet 😭😭
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kyunyu3 · 11 months ago
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𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬▶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ 𝗩𝗛𝗦
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@carmellitta
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𝟬𝟭:𝟯𝟱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ 𝗦𝗘𝗣 . 𝟬𝟯 𝟭𝟵𝟴𝟱
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sacrifesse · 10 months ago
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❝ THESE SHAPES && COLORS
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ OVERWHELM MY ViSiON 。
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‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ LOSiNG POWER ◞ OH ◞
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ i’M LOSiNG POWER ❞
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┣▇▇▇═─ ANONS 。。。
🗝️ 。 🌈🥁 。 🩹 。 shadow 🖤🐈‍⬛ 。 🐺🌙 。
┣▇▇▇═─ CREDiTS 。。。
art in theme : satou_kusuri on insta
icon mask : revivalrequiem
banner mask : deertism
psd used in theme : rockjealous on deviantart
id pack layout inspo : luniarii
┣▇▇▇═─ OTHER BLOGS 。。。
@dolliequartz @starry-stims @dolliegendersystems @stimmyfrills @nyasery @bsdgendered @quartzstims @dwllie @holybunnie @iconmochi @frailures @stimmycafe @pixelizedpride @sillystamped @mirroredrealitiesarchive @archiveofbsd @bungostimdogs @frillful @stimfiles @stimcanon @jellyfwshie @horrorified @stimmingpride
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jasongotdrip · 1 year ago
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eughhhhhhh
when you have different lengthed hair and you do a ponytail and the shorter parts just STICK OUT AT AT THE TOP RIEJDNDJDJ IT BOTHERS ME SM JM TWEAKING
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and brooooooooooo…. I hate having freckles now.. like they’re everywhere, especially my face and arms. My siblings called attention to them and it made me insecure all of a sudden eughhhhh… I might start trying to cover them up or smth- they look amazing on anyone else but not me😭
i feel like im posting too much all of a sudden but its just the requests😭😭
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rq-slotmachine · 5 months ago
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Amor-ID for being a blood bag when. WHEN!!!!
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demonicxrocker · 2 years ago
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Is it possible to know what you have in your inbox please?
too many things. /hj
but seriously though, there's probably at least ten (10) requests in there? if not more? i'm not in the mood to type out a whole list at the moment, though.
but, here's my old inbox / request list check if that helps. just add a few requests on it
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dwllie · 1 month ago
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could you make a lovedoctor version of lovenurse?
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of course,,,,do enjoy,,,,:))
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✦ — posted !
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wavyskies · 7 months ago
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Haley (Stardew Valley) Tumblr Layout + graphics
F2U. Credit, likes and reblogs are appreciated but not necessary. Dividers NF2U.
Creds: PSD // art creds in order: @/lpp8ee, @/BLankCharti, u/mynamesbrad13
Note: bruh I was AMPED UP to do this one! Haley is the best tbh. Also, I wasn't sure what sorta graphics ya wanted so I did a Tumblr layout and some extra graphics!
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sinful-lanterns · 9 months ago
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What outfits would be the most bizarre and from who? (From the latest Garofano ask! I thought that was really funny and cool, AND ALSO ELEVEN WANTING TO PUT READER INTO AN E-GIRL COSTUME 💀😭)
- Korryn requesting for you to be put in a sexy cow costume is pretty up there for Garofano. She’s never sewed such a costume before 😭😭
- Raven has also requested for you to dress up as a celebrity, because she’s fantasized about having a scandal with you and fucking you in a reporter x celebrity roleplay.
- Lamia has requested for you to be a mermaid once. (She even requested Garofano to make slits in your tail so she could finger-fuck you easier)
- Cabernet once straight up asked Garofano to dress you in an outfit inspired by grapes. Whatever that meant…
- Bianca did the same thing as Cabernet but your outfit was inspired by apples.
- Serpent wanted you to be a sexy mouse.
- Angell has a maid outfit kink. Garofano has made her several different ones in varying styles, all for you.
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aedearly · 2 months ago
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✎ㅤ. . .ㅤ𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.
₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of character analysis/headcanon questions to learn more about your character and your partners'! writing/headcanon prompts requested by anonymous. feel free to edit these as you see fit.
[ 🖐️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do their hands feel like: soft, calloused, trembling ? [ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ? [ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ? [ 🕊️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 💤 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they sleep ? curled up, sprawled, holding onto something ? [ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ? [ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ? [ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ? [ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ? [ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ? [ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ? [ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ? [ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ? [ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? [ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ? [ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ? [ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ? [ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ? [ 🪶 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they laugh ? [ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ? [ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ? [ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ? [ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ? [ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ? [ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ? [ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ? [ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ? [ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ? [ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ? [ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ? [ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it ? [ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ? [ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ? [ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ? [ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?
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sm-baby · 11 months ago
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||☕KO-FI REQUEST - Jax and Jillz
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thank you @an-albino-pinetree for the ⛓️ko-fi🩸 donation! still couldn't muster the energy to make an entire comic, but I gotchu concept art !
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rafesslxt · 1 year ago
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𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬 | 𝐦. 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞
nsfw | mattheo riddle | requested by 6 readers
aesthetic: 🫦💋⛓️🗣️ ⎥masterlist⎥words: 1,6k
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「 ✦ you have a little fun with tied up mattheo ✦ 」
warnings: smut, sub!mattheo, whimpering, use of vibrator and cockring, tied up, moaning, dirty talk, overstimulation, teasing, edging, begging, p in v unprotected, cum,blowjob, handjob
prompts used: A2; "ooh fuck – it's s-so sensitive" A4; "Please, I've been so good! I didn't even touch myself!" A14; "you keep your hands where they are or I'll tie you up."
note: english is not my first language, If u don't like submissive men; don't read
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"You keep your hands where they are or I'll tie you up." my voice rang through the room while I sat down on my boyfriends thighs.
"Please, I've been so good! I didn't even touch myself!" he argues back, his bottom lip tugged between his teeth. We didn't do this very often since Mattheo was more of a dominant person but here and there when he felt like it, he would let me control the situation. And oh boy would he be a submissive little thing.
"Hmm you know what? I feel like still doing it." I answered with a mischievous smile on my face as I grabbed one of my ties that laid on the nightstand and wrapped it around his wrists and his headboard.
He groaned in frustration and earned himself a raised eyebrow from me, which shut him up real quick. " 'm sorry.." I nodded in approval and let go of the tie when I was ready putting it around him.
His shirt and pants were already gone through our previous make out session so I had it easy with undressing him. I looked down from his face to his boxer shorts that had a visible and hard bulge in them.
I teased him with my fingertips, slowly running them over his tent. " y/n please, don't tease me.." I chuckled and smirked at him. "Where's the fun in that?"
I leaned down and kissed him through his underwear where a little wet spot started to form, probably from his arousal. Mattheo lifted his hips and grinned his bulge against my face which caused a deep moan to leave his mouth.
I kissed my teeth, shaking my head. "If you wanna cum tonight I would advise you to be a good boy and don't move." A frustrated sigh left his lips and he looked down at me with his lips parted and his pupils blown.
My hands pushed his boxers down so his cock slapped against his stomach and as I already guessed, the tip was covered in pre-cum. I wrapped my hand around him and slowly moved it up and down, rubbing my thumb over his tip every time my hand moved upwards.
"Baby, don't want your hand right now.. need the toy.." he whined when I moved my hand up and down on his shaft just how he usually likes it. I raised my eyebrows at him and shook my head. "That's a little ungrateful, don't you think Matty?" My voice sounded sweet and nothing like I already planned in my head to show him who's in charge.
"I'm s-sorry please, just need more." I leaned over to the nightstand again where his toys were. I grabbed a cockring and a little vibrator. I noticed his eyes widening at the cockring, his mind already guessing that it meant no coming for him. I turned the vibrator on, at first on the lowest setting before I held it against his leaking tip.
"Oh-" a whimper left his lips and he closed his eyes to completely concentrate on the newest feeling. "Feels good, baby?" I asked him innocently, my voice sweet like sugar again. "Shit yes, feels so good – merlin!"
A little smirk formed back onto my lips when my thumb pressed the little plus symbol on the settings, putting the toy on the highest setting. The buzzing was loud like the whimpers and moans that left Mattheo's mouth now.
"Ooh fuck – it's s-so sensitive!" he whined. "Already?" I said in a mockery tone, enjoying the view in front of me. His hips started to buck up against the toy, his eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth wide open, jaw unlocked.
My other hand grabbed the cockring and put it on. "It's too much baby- shit.." he whimpered. "If you wanna stop say your word." Before we first tried switching the roles of being submissive, we each chose a word If we really wanted to stop. His was snake and mine was peach.
He shook his head, his cheeks heating up. "N-no.." "Then stop whining and take it." "I'm close, so fucking close! Please take the ring off, y/n, please." he started begging, knowing If it was on he wouldn't be able to cum. I grabbed his balls and started massaging them while the vibrator still buzzed against his now red and leaking tip. His hips started to buckle uncontrollably, making it harder for me to hold the toy against his tip.
Right when he first started twitching, I pulled the toy and my hand away, leaving him unsatisfied. "F-fuck! noo.. no no no no, please y/n! Fuck I need to cum so fucking bad."
A evil little laugh left my lips when I watched how desperate he lifted his hips in hope of some friction. "Hmm please, need to be inside you.." "What? I thought you wanted your toy huh?" I teased him, leaning down to start kissing his throat.
"No, no I swear I'm sorry. I just need you, please let me be inside you baby." he sobbed, tears forming in his eyes as he looked up at me. A sigh left my lips when I pushed my underwear to the side and hovered over his cock. He looked down between us with hope and desperation in his eyes.
"You want me to ride you, baby?" I asked him teasingly, slowly rubbing his tip between my wet folds, making him lose his mind. "Yes, so badly!" I lowered myself down onto him until the tip was inside of me. A low groan was heard from him, his eyes rolling back.
Then, with one movement, I let myself fall down on him until he was inside of me with not an inch left. "Oh – shit!" he tried to free himself with tugging on the tie around his wrists but it was useless.
A little laugh left my mouth when I saw him struggling. "Fuck this isn't funny y/n!" Mattheo hisses at me after i laughed a little over his whimpers. "Yeah you‘re right, it‘s hot." I say grinning, moving my hips painfully slow up and down.
"I swear I - I can‘t take it anymore baby, please." he whined and buckled his hips up but I lifted mine a little too. He whimpers again at the loss of contact. "We already talked about this Matty. If you‘re a good boy and lay still you can cum."
He groans and bites his bottom lip, pressing his hips down into the mattress to stay still. "That‘s right.." I whispered into his ear, kissing behind it which made him shiver. "You feel great baby.. doing good for me mh?" I moan as I start to move my hips again and felt him deep inside me.
He pressed his full lips together into a thin line and only nodded for an answer. I smiled when I saw how he tried to stay still and be a good boy for me. His cheeks were completely flushed, sweat was forming on his forehead and his eyes were heavy, almost too heavy. His breathing was fast and his skin felt hot against my own.
I moved my own hand down towards my clit and moved my fingers over it just like he would normally do. "Oh yeah baby, touch yourself, fuck that's so hot." he breathed out heavily, not taking his eyes off of my fingers. I clenched around him hearing his voice like that. He groaned when I tightened around him.
I felt my stomach tightening, sensing I was close. I moved my hips faster in the same rhythm like my fingers until I moaned Mattheo's name to send even more shivers down his spine. "Fuck Mattheo.. I'm so close, I'm gonna come around you."
A whine was heard from him but I blended everything around me out when my orgasm finally hit me. My mouth was wide open and my hips moved in a fast rhythm against him, no hearing a word from him.
When I slowly calmed down again I opened my eyes, my hips still moving. "Please let me come I- I can't take it anymore I'm gonna fucking explode I swear!" A loud, broken sob echoed through the room when I lifted my hips up and his cock slapped against his stomach again.
I pulled the ring off him and laid in between his legs. "You sure you deserve to come?" I ask him with a soft voice, my hand wrapped around his base.
He nodded his head like he was possessed and bucked his hips up again. "I'm begging you princess, please let me come.." his voice sounded weak and frustrated so I decided to finally give him what he wanted.
So I wrapped my lips around his tip and carefully sucked around it. "Hmpf –" I smiled around him and looked up to see him with his eyes closed and his cheeks red like never before. "I'm so close.."
I took more of him into my mouth and bobbed my head up and down, moving my hand around his base too and my second hand on his balls again, driving him crazy. I head a mix of a broken sob and cry again before he twitched inside my mouth, his hips grinding up against my face and my mouth slowly filled with his cum.
The room was filled with his whines and whimpers, my lips sucking on his still sensitive tip. "Ohh fuck you're gonna be the death of me." he breathed out when I opened my mouth and showed him my empty mouth.
"Oh that wasn't it, Matty." I grinned wicked when I saw his wide eyes.
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thank you for requesting and for anyone else thanls u for reading and supporting 🫶🏻
taglist: @justarandomcanadiantransdude @helendeath @thatonepansexual2000 @imabee-oralizard @supernaturaldawning @cardi-bre91 @gxdsfavgal @synicaljah @yourenogoodforme @sofa-couch26 @little-miss-naill @kolsangel @auxcordlawd @itsarajr @jolly4holly @hisparentsgallerryy @slytherinscreamqueen @mixvchelle @littlemadamred @ummmmmmm-username @jeannie-beannie @belle-blue @beautywine @sagetakami @simp-for-fantasy @whyamireadingthis @i-like-pandas5 @jordynhartley2001 @romantasyreader28 @giasus-@batsching @themissingweasley26 @thegirlwhosimpstoomuch @tiaajosephin @meneatervv
xoxo sarah <3
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moon-ttokki-x · 4 months ago
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oh my god I’m stupid I requested 8, 9, and 39 for the SKZ prompt list but I forgot to ask for which member. Bangchan pretty please 🥺👉👈
hihi this took so long sorry >< . . . this is a lot more angsty than anticipated but i hope it works. i wrote it a little differently that i normally would, but here you go, love~~
stupidly perfect - (best friend!bang chan x reader)
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pairing: best friend!bang chan x reader
summary: chan has never noticed how you feel for him, and one fateful evening, you let it all spill.
genre: angsty as hell, idol!au, reader lowkey enters their villain era, mentions of eating and drinking, overexcited maknaes, chan is kinda oblivious in this fic ngl, supportive felix, itzy mentions (yeji, ryujin, chaeryoung if that counts ig), this is super sad tbh
a/n: this took a while tbh . . . div by @ferretmilkshakezzz
⛓️ prompts: 8. "Take your time. I'm not going anywhere." / 9. "You can rest now." / 39. "I can't keep pretending I'm fine."
skz masterlist | skz prompt list | part two
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"Y/n, do you wanna come to that ramen restaurant with us later?" Jisung tugs at your arm, skipping alongside you. "We've been wanting to go for ages, and we all finally have schedules off tonight."
"Yeah, come with us," Jeongin adds. "It'll be fun."
The maknaes are tagging all around you as you walk down the hallway, trying your best to keep a hold on all the papers you're carrying. It's difficult when they're fluttering around you like overexcited birds.
You'd taken the job at JYPE around four months ago; it was decided after a very long period of doubting and worrying that it wouldn't work out after what happened at your last workplace. But your best friend, Chan, had been super supportive throughout the whole thing, even offering to help you move into your little apartment down the road from the company. He'd brought some of his friends to help with the heavy lifting, and from there, you'd pretty much been adopted into the group he'd formed and was the leader of.
Not like you had a choice in the first place.
But you didn't mind; you'd been worried partly because of the fact that you wouldn't have any friends when you'd moved to this part of Korea; Chan had managed to inadvertently solve that issue without trying. Now, the four excitable boys skipped and bickered around you as you set down the papers on your office desk. Wiping the minimal sweat from your forehead, you sighed and pried Seungmin away from the trinkets neatly lining your bookshelf.
"Who else is going?" You ask as Jisung whines about you coming to the restaurant for the umpteenth time.
Seungmin shrugs, interrupting his friend. "All of the members, you, and a couple of the girls from our dance crew."
You feel your heart sink just as your brain tells you to agree; it's been ages since you went out with the guys, and you honestly couldn't wait for a break. Work was always stressful around comeback season, but you'd all settled into the rhythm of it soon enough. Spending an evening out with eight of your best friends eating some soul food sounded like a good idea. A better idea than spending the evening on the couch in your apartment, eating ice cream in complete silence. Alone.
You bite your lip, anticipating. "Which of the dance crew girls?"
Jeongin shrugs from the sofa, swinging his legs over a disgusted Seungmin's lap as he lounges back. "The usuals; Yeji, Ryujin, Young-hee, and Chae. Why?"
"No reason," you say, turning back to the bookshelf to unnecessarily reorganise something, fiddling with the solid fabric spine of one of your books. "I'll let you know if I'm coming. Now, clear out."
Your last comment doesn't bother the maknaes at all; they know you don't like your office being messed up, so they call goodbyes, and Jisung sneakily pokes your side as he filters out the door. Felix, however, remains.
You try to ignore the sinking feeling in your chest and keep a neutral expression as you turn the dark-haired boy. He looks so different from his usual blonde-haired countenance; however, no less beautiful, and not for the first time do you hold yourself back from carding your fingers affectionately through his hair.
You exhale. "Do you need something, Lix?"
He sits down on your chair, swinging it backwards and leaning his forearms across the back. An air of resignation flows around him. "You're not coming tonight, are you?"
You bite your lip. "I'll see."
His voice is quiet. "You've said that since Chae started hanging around us. Is it because of her?"
You scoff, dropping a pen. "No. Why would you think that?"
Felix leans forward on the chair, nosy. "It is because of her, isn't it? Do you not like her? Is it because of Chan-hyung?"
You whip around to face him, exasperated. The explanation bubbles out of you like molten lava from a temperamental volcano. "Okay, fine! I just- I can't stand seeing her around him. They're so close, and they always seem so wrapped up in each other-"
You cut yourself off then, not wanting to say anything you might regret. Chae is nice enough; she's never done anything explicitly hurtful towards you, though you secretly have suspicions that she doesn't like you at all. But you stay quiet, trying to dissipate the rising frustration blooming in your chest.
Felix is quiet.
You know he knows; he's known for ages about your little crush on his leader. You were afraid to tell him, once upon a time; but all you got in response from the affectionate chicken boy was a hushed giggle and a gentle encouragement to tell Chan how you feel. He hasn't told anyone else about your feelings, and you know he would continue to keep his mouth shut. But you wish, even just a little, that someone else would notice and find a way to get Chae away from your best friend.
"No wonder she likes him too," you say quietly to yourself, sinking into your office chair.
And it isn't a wonder, really. Chan is sweet, and gentle, and kind, and so, so, supportive and admirable. There's not a single flaw about him, except perhaps his slight dislike towards himself and his irritation when it comes to those soft, dark curls that frame his perfect face so perfectly-
You shake yourself out of it. Felix is still looking at you quietly, his head tilted in thought.
"You do know," he says carefully, "that you're closer with Chan that Chae is?"
"But still," you groan. "He always seems so much happier around her, and he always only talks to her when you all go out-"
"How would you know?" Felix cries, throwing his hands up. "You're not even there half the time, and Chan only talks to her because you're not there for him to talk to. He has to settle for her because he's fed up of us, and he's not close with Yeji, Ryujin, or Young-hee."
You sigh and hop up onto the desk, swinging your legs over the side. "I just can't stand it, Lix. Seeing them together..."
His expression softens. "I know, Y/n, and I know how frustrated you get when they're all over each other, but you have to at least try. Come with us. If not for him, then for us. We miss you."
"I'm right here."
Felix sighs softly. "That's not what I meant."
You rub two fingers along the bridge of your nose, trying to think straight. You can't get the images out of your mind; Chan and Chae giggling to each other, her touching his arm, him reciprocating the affection... no one said it would hurt this bad when you watch your best friend fall for someone else.
No one said it would hurt this much when you realise that you're in love with said best friend either.
"I can't keep pretending I'm fine," you say, so softly you're not sure Felix hears it. But he does.
"Then don't pretend," he urges gently. "Get him to fall for you. You're halfway there already, I'm pretty sure. But it's not gonna happen if you're always at a distance from him."
He has a point, you think. But, being as stubborn as you are, there's still that nagging doubt in the back of your mind that Chan will never feel the same way that you do, whether you're with him or not-
"Y/n," Felix says, a little more firmly.
You know exactly what he's thinking; sighing, and then bending down to pick up the pen you dropped earlier, you slot it back into the holder on the desk.
"Fine," you say quietly, trying and failing to hide the tiny smile twitching at the corners of your mouth. "I'll come."
Felix lets out a whoop.
.
You pull your jacket a little closer around yourself as you head round the corner, the evening wind whipping your hair into a state of extreme disarray. Sighing and then spluttering as you pull strands of it out of your mouth and eyes, you duck around people and head to the restaurant, its warm, golden light drawing you in like a moth to a flame.
You're not late, so to speak; you spot the group sitting at a large corner booth with comfy seats, mingling and chattering, and you notice Felix immediately. His face lights up when he sees you, half with relief and half with something else you can't quite decipher. He makes to get up before you're almost tackled to the floor by Jisung and Jeongin, who are pretty much hollering at the top of their lungs.
Minho shushes them insistently as he tugs them off you, bowing before shoving both maknaes back into their seats.
"Y/n," Jeongin says happily. "We didn't think you'd come."
You chuckle awkwardly and settle into the spot next to Felix, trying not to look around for Chan like you always do. "Yeah, I needed a break. Besides, you two would have come for my throat if I turned the invitation down one more time."
"Damn right," Jisung interjects, all three of you dissolving into giggles.
You look around then; not everyone is here. Hyunjin and Yeji are still missing, both Hwangs late as per usual, and you know Changbin will come by a little later, having decided to work out before treating himself for the evening. You make a mental note to stick to your work ethic as well as he does, but it's interrupted by the familiar tone of someone speaking your name.
"You look nice, Y/n," Chan says from next to Felix, who is sitting in between both of you.
Chae is sitting next to Chan, you notice with some sadness and displeasure; her long, pinky-blonde hair is straight and neat, long acrylic nails coming up to brush strands of it off her perfect porcelain cheeks, flushed with the cold. At least, you hope it's the cold and not the effect of Chan's probably flirting before you arrived.
Despite the indignance rising in your stomach, you can't help but notice how Chan looks tonight; his hair is slightly damp from the chilly weather outside, the adorably messy strands of it curling against his temples and nape. His eyes are crescents as he gazes into yours, and you fight the urge to reach over and wipe the faint remainder of strawberry milk off the curve of his plush bottom lip.
You know exactly where he'd bought the little drink carton of it from; there's a vending machine just down the street, one that the boys always buy drinks from before eating out. It was their tradition, and one that you gladly partook in, that is before you became too shy to be around the boys.
Because of Chan and his stupid perfectness.
You suddenly come back down to earth and realise that Chan is still gazing at you; Chae is laughing obnoxiously loud in the background behind him, no doubt to recapture his attention, but all you can focus on is the fact that you're locking eyes with the most beautiful person on earth. And also the fact that you haven't replied to his little indirect compliment, so you just nod and turn back to the table to fiddle with the menu in front of you.
Felix exhales discreetly and you fight a grin, watching as he unpeels himself from the corner of the table. He'd been bending over it so you could lean back to talk to Chan, and he pokes you affectionately in the side as you thank him quietly, clearing your throat in an attempt to get rid of the flush painting your cheeks.
"Could've warned me about how pretty he looks," you mutter to Felix under your breath. He just chuckles and touches your knee as everyone begins to order.
The food arrives just as Hyunjin, Yeji, and Changbin make their dramatically late entrance; they clatter noisily into their seats, and you bump fists with Yeji just as everyone begins to dig in.
There's brief silence as everyone begins to fill their stomachs with soul food, and then the chatter eventually rises again as the members turn to each other to bicker and laugh. You almost snort a noodle out of your mouth as you watch Hyunjin take a hairclip out of his bag to clip his hair back, before realising it's not there. Seungmin, sitting next to him, runs his hand through the boy's kiwi-like hair before turning back to his ramen.
You almost start to enjoy yourself, but there's still that lingering tension that you feel rests in the air between you and Chan; if anyone else has noticed it, they're not saying anything. Felix, noticing your quietness, tries to fill the space between you with small talk and jokes, but it doesn't seem to help. Once or twice, he even brings Chan into the conversation in a bid to try and get you two to converse, but Chae interjects more and more frequently until you quietly tell Felix to stop.
You feel bad because of it; you know he's just trying to help, but it isn't working. And it's beginning to make you feel worse, the fact that it seems not even the dark-haired sunshine boy can get his leader to try and talk to you. And you realise, all of a sudden, that maybe it's not Chan that's the problem.
There are two possible reasons that Chan doesn't seem to want to talk to you; you thought maybe he would talk more with you tonight, considering it's been so long since you've been out with them, but you're crestfallen as you realise that not more than a few words have been exchanged between the two of you tonight.
And it strangely breaks your heart.
The other reason is that Chae might have been badmouthing you behind your back to Chan, or it could be because of the fact that Chan genuinely likes her. You're not sure, but that belief is confirmed as you look across to see Chan holding out his chopsticks to her, bringing a piece of tempura to her perfect, pink lips.
Watching in horror and completely forgetting about the cooling ramen in front of you, you watch as Chae accepts the tempura with a little giggle, batting her lashes at Chan as he reaches up to wipe a crumb off her lip. The sight is so equally disgusting and upsetting that you immediately stand up, moving out of the booth as tears blur your eyes.
"Where are you going?" Jisung calls after you, Felix looking up from his food.
"Bathroom," you call over your shoulder, your voice surprisingly strong considering the fact that tears and beginning to stream down your cheeks.
Not wanting to make a fuss or arouse suspicion from the group, you do actually head to the bathrooms, locking the cubicle door behind you and sinking down against the door. You couldn't care less if it's dirty right now, the only thought in your head the mental image of your best friend and Chae giggling and flirting all over each other, blissfully unaware of your misery.
It's not fair.
"Maybe it's me," you whisper to yourself, sniffling as you rip off a piece of toilet paper, scrubbing at your face. You feel so pathetic and unworthy; what kind of person hides out in the bathroom crying over a guy who probably doesn't even care about them?
Standing up and checking you have your phone and wallet, you sigh as you feel the weight of them in your pockets. Good. You can just leave without having to go back to the table. The last thing you want right now is to talk to anyone, or have to put up a fake cheerful front.
Heading to the back of the restaurant, the once-inviting golden lights now feeling like a spotlight, you emerge out into the street, the cold wind soothing the hot, sticky tear irritation on your cheeks. You head to the parking garage down the street and try to walk as quickly as you can past the opening of the ramen restaurant, lest any of the group notice you walking away.
And they don't, not least until you cross the street and head down the dimly light footpath.
Someone grabs your wrist suddenly and you cry out, whipping your head back so fast to see who it is you think you might have whiplash.
Chan is standing there, his hand solid and warm around your wrist, the wind ruffling his dark hair back from his bare face. You can see the glint of his silver earrings under the streetlights.
"Wait," he pants. "Where are you going?"
You can't fight the hot, wet tear rolling down your cheek and inwardly curse it for escaping. "Home."
"Why?" He asks, concern and worry painting his expression. "Are you not feeling well?"
You fight the urge to slap him; it wouldn't be fair, however much you want to do it. He just doesn't understand. He doesn't understand any of it. And you want nothing more to run into his arms and spill all your thoughts and feelings like you have so many times before, but you can't.
Not this time.
You can't tell Chan that you've loved him since who knows how long; that seeing him makes your heart feel lighter, the way a high schooler might feel seeing their crush in the sunny hallways. You can't tell him how many times you styled your hair to look a little like his, hoping the curls that make him look so handsome might make you a little more attractive too. You can't tell him how many times you ran late for schedules just because you took a detour to his studio to talk with him, even if it was just for a minute.
Even if all of it was a waste in the end. Because he likes someone else, and that someone else isn't you.
So you just shake your head as the tears come streaming down, and rip your wrist out of his grip before turning and walking away. The earth feels like it's shattering around you.
Or maybe that's just your heart.
But Chan doesn't give up; you hear his footsteps continue behind you, hurried and irregular, like he's trying to decide whether to let you go or make you stay.
"Y/n," he pants. "Wait, just- will you stop walking so fast? Please, wait, slow down- What's wrong?"
"Everything's wrong!" You cry out, turning to face him as you throw your hands up. A sob rips through your lungs, face contorting with the force of your tears. "Okay? Everything's wrong."
Chan is silent, one hand out in an unsteady attempt to calm you. "What are you talking about? You're worrying me."
You scoff and kick a stone across the footpath, harshly rubbing a hand across your cheekbone.
"Y/n, please," he pleads, his voice quieter. "Felix noticed you were gone for too long earlier, and I saw you walking out of the restaurant. Please, tell me what's wrong. You look so upset."
"Then stop looking."
He recoils, looking slightly hurt, before it's overtaken by a look of determination. You know that look; it either results in an all-nighter to finish a song track, an attempt to wrangle seven naughty kids, or a hard-to-have conversation. You know it's the last one.
"Please," he says, even quieter. "Tell me what's wrong. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."
"It's you," you say, broken with utter resignation.
He takes a step forward. "What?"
"It's you," you repeat, looking away as another hysterical sob brings the wind inside your body. It's sharp and biting, and it brings back some of your courage. But only some.
You raise your eyes to look at him. Maybe this is the last conversation you'll have with Chan, before he decides he doesn't want to be around someone who's in a one-way love story with him. Even if that person is his best friend.
"You don't realise, do you?" You whisper brokenly. "You never realised I was in love with you, Chan. But that's just who you are. You may be kind and compassionate and intuitive, but you never realised why I do what I do, or why I act the way I act around you."
His face is contorted in utter disbelief; whether it's from shock or disgust, you don't want to know.
"I realised around the time you helped me move in," you continue. Might as well get all of it out now. "I looked at you differently after a while. I didn't see my best friend anymore. I saw someone else, someone stronger and more clever and more dedicated and more perfect and flawless. And it was strange, because I realised that you changed so much. Maybe I changed too, but it was different seeing you walking around at the company and going about your schedules, because I felt different about it all. I felt different about you. And I couldn't let it go, not least when we actually talked. I used to be late for most of my meetings and events because I would take detours to see you. Some days I would think about canceling my schedules just so I could be around you more.
"And I love the boys, I do, Chan. So much. But I have to admit, I wouldn't be around them half as much if you weren't there. I felt so drawn to you, not like the way I did when we were friends. I figured that if I didn't want to lose you, I would have to discipline myself. So I did.
"I threw myself into my work; I gave myself so much to do, partially to distract myself, partially to use work as an excuse whenever I was invited out, like tonight. Just because I knew you would be there, and I didn't want to end up spilling it all to you, because I knew it would ruin everything between us. Forever.
"And when Chae started hanging around us, I didn't mind at first; I sort of liked her. But I started hating her because of how close she would get to you, how much you two would secretly talk between yourselves, and it made me upset. So I ended up spending much more time by myself so that I would be able to forget she existed. So that I could forget that she ever entered the picture, and that it was just me and my secret that I kept from you. For so long, Chan. You have no idea how much I had to hold myself back from you.
"Did you assume that I never wanted to go out with you guys? That I never wanted to buy drinks from that vending machine the members always go to before eating out, or that I didn't want to spend time with you? Because I did, Chan. But I forced myself not to, because I couldn't bear to see you, and most of the time I didn't know if Chae was going to be there. I told myself I wasn't going to sit there and watch you be with her, not while I felt so invisible and unseen around you.
"Let me tell you something, Chan," you choke through sobs at him, pointing a finger at his chest as though it were a gun. "Every time Jisung or Jeongin or one of the boys invited me out, I did actually show up. Even if you never saw me. I would watch from a distance to see if Chae was with you; if she was, I would turn around and leave, and go home. If not, I would smile from around the corner as the maknaes begged you for money to buy drinks from that vending machine. And then I would turn around and go home anyway.
"I know every single one of their preferences; even if you didn't know I was there to observe them bickering and choosing, faces lit by streetlight. I would go around to the vending machines at the company and randomly buy their favourites for them, even if you didn't know how I knew. I would buy them for you too, and debate leaving a little note for you telling you how I felt alongside it, and I never did.
"Because, despite all of that, it was all a waste," you snap at him. You're not sure why you're angry; you suppose it's the result of feeling unheard for so long. "It was a waste, Chan. Because you never even noticed how I felt. So don't come chasing after me in the night like this like you care, because it was Felix who told you to come after me, Felix who noticed I had been gone for too long, not you of your own accord. And don't look worried or concerned either, because I've told you what's wrong, Chan, just as you asked. You can rest now."
You can barely see him through the blur of your tears.
"Y/n," he whispers, broken as you feel. "I'm so sorry."
"I don't care," you cry out at him, turning and storming in the other direction. And this time, he doesn't follow, still standing under the streetlight with his hand out, though you're not there to take it.
You sob bitterly as you almost flee around the corner, breaking out into a full-on run, like sprinting can fix the problem, fix your heart and your tears. It doesn't, however, and you feel worse as you bolt pass the crossing light, not caring about its colour. Later you will realise that running with blurry vision and a hysterical, heartbroken mindset was not the wisest idea.
You don't see the car speeding towards you until it's too late.
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a/n: *laughs in writer*
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demonicxrocker · 8 months ago
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so gald your back, may I have some Numbuh 3 Icons if that’s okay?
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sorry mate, requests are closed still. maybe wait until they're opened up again? sorry xP
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dwllie · 1 month ago
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Sunday ( Honkai Star Rail ) Regressor?
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hoyoverse games are on our blacklist,,,,apologies,,,,another coiner may claim though,,,,just ask,,,,,:))
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