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archivingkal · 4 months ago

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last updated: 25/05/2025

note: unless otherwise stated everything on this list is completed

BANG CHAN

LOVER OF MINE BY @sulfurcosmos (SMAU)

she doesn’t hate him, she just... doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. “it’s bad for my heart”, she claims. and she succeeds for a whole year until her clown of a friend felix, decides to take up music production as a summer extra credit unit knowing absolutely nothing about writing lyrics or composing. now who else to ask for help other than a creative writing major who specialises in poetry, and the best music production student on campus?

FACE THE MUSIC BY @0x1lovebot (SMAU)

y/n runs an anonymous twitter fan account for the famous rap trio that goes to her school, 3racha and one day she professes her love and appreciation for bang chan on said account. now chan is on a mission to find out who it is.

SORRY, RIGHT NUMBER BY @/feelbokkie (SMAU)

Being an idol can be lonely and isolating. After one fun and adventurous night at a bar, Chan decides to text the girl he met the night before. Except, she gave him the the wrong number?

IF WE COULD TURN BACK TIME BY @/lieslab

After a Dispatch article leaks, your betrayed boyfriend kicks you out of your shared apartment and you're silenced in the worst way possible.

NIGHT AGAIN BY @chahnniesroom

in hindsight, visiting chan's studio right before a comeback isn't one of your best ideas. what was supposed to be a pleasant surprise leaves you spiraling into self-doubt, wondering if chan even wants to be in a relationship with you at all.

FATE BROUGHT US TOGETHER AGAIN BY @beautifulchris (SMAU)

after spending two years abroad, you come back to the only college that accepted you; the same chris goes to

the prequel: LOVE DIE YOUNG

CURE BY @gamerwoo (HANAHAKI AU)

Chan was in love with a girl that didn’t return his feelings, and as his best friend, you wanted to help him through it. But his options were either to make her fall in love with him, make him fall out of love with her, or for him to get the disease removed, and he was dead set on avoiding the latter.

🆕 SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK BY @chancloud8 (SMAU - ongoing - 18+ MDNI)

you and chan get matched up on a forum for people who suffer with insomnia and spent most of your sleepless nights texting each other. neither of you expected to fall in love..

🆕 WHAT REMAINS UNSPOKEN BY @sunboki

Attached to the hip, you and Chris might as well have been twins in a past life. And yet, it’s always that tiny inkling, so many years where one of the two wants something more. So when you bring home a boyfriend one summer and both you and Chris begin drifting apart, you wonder if that denial will become something permanent.

🆕 A SAD CHOCOLATEY MESS BY @thevampywolf

Y/N cheers up a sad Noah (I didn't know dad!bangchan would have such a special place in my heart but he does. moreso - the sibling interaction in this is stellar — better than in some films I've watched)

🆕 I JUST NEED A QUIET PLACE WHERE I CAN SCREAM HOW I LOVE YOU BY @lieslab

Your boyfriend accuses you of cheating and leaves for his tour without a proper farewell.

🆕 STUPIDLY PERFECT BY @moon-ttokki-x (ongoing)

chan has never noticed how you feel for him, and one fateful evening, you let it all spill.

LEE MINHO

FELINE APPROVAL BY @ivyues

How Soonie and Lee Know agreed you were the one. (the definition of short and sweet)

THE JOURNAL BY @theright-sideofme (SMAU)

When y/n loses her most prize possession, what are the chances of her high school ex finding it? Apparently, suprisingly high.

SEO CHANGBIN

PUSH + PULL BY @yoongisleftearring (SMAU)

in which you are trying to survive college life but seem to have a thorn in your side in the form of Seo Changbin. After years of hating each other can you decide to remain civil with the handsome rapper? (let’s just hope he doesn’t come across that private thirst account you have for him)

THE ALTERNATIVE BY @astraystayyh

You've diligently chased the idea of being with Changbin out of your mind. That is until he picks you up from a bad date, making your steadfast resolve unravel all around you.

HWANG HYUNJIN

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT BY @soobnny

hyunjin stresses how important it is that you help him practice for his role in your university’s upcoming play, especially the kissing scene.

THE WAY WE STOPPED BEING ALMOST AND BECAME ALWAYS BY @mykoreanlove

(the title for this one is pretty self explanatory and it's just as easily a wonderful read)

HAN JISUNG

NUMBER NEIGHBOUR BY @softyn (SMAU)

Jisung has been a fan of y/n since he can remember, what will happen when y/n posts her new youtube video texting her number neighbor who turned out to be Jisung?

SUNSHINE BY @svngbins (SMAU)

y/n’s only secret is that she’s in love with her childhood best friend, jisung. the only problem? y/n’s other best friend, aerin, has a not-so-secret crush on jisung.

🆕 STILL YOURS BY @kathaelipwse

Back in high school, she was the chubby outcast—bullied, bruised, and abandoned—while Han Jisung was the untouchable jock who broke hearts and ignored them all… except hers. When life pulled them apart after a brutal misunderstanding, she vowed never to look back.

Now, eight years later, she's a successful engineer—independent and guarded. But when fate throws them back together in the most unexpected boardroom, Jisung sees a second chance. And this time, he’s not letting go without a fight. (Please take care and heed the fic warnings)

🆕 LET'S FALL IN LOVE, IRL BY @feelbokkie (SMAU)

When she was a child, L/n Y/n was in a horrible accident that left her face disfigured. After getting bullied relentlessly by her classmates for her appearance, Y/n escaped to the digital world where she meets Felix. Now an adult, Y/n has be come a complete social recluse, only talking to her 4 childhood best friends and roommates and her only friends. When Felix goes AFK one day in the middle of a game, Felix’s roommates decides to step in. Is this the start a new relationship or will Y/n’s crippling social anxiety get in the way?

LEE FELIX

THE MIXTAPES BY @cookielixie (SMAU)

y/n is in love with her bestfriend. what other way to express yourself than posting mixtapes about your love on twitter?

SO NOT WORTH IT BY @lemon-boy-stan (SMAU)

felix joins the popular kids after becoming bang chan's roommate. when he and y/n collide, the twitter world goes beserk. (loosely based on the k-drama so not worth it).

KIM SEUNGMIN

MY VALENTINE KIM SEUNGMIN BY @pixiefelixie

your 17-year-old dog, who had survived chocolate poisoning, a bicycle accident, and a raccoon fight, finally passed away peacefully—proving that even the most legendary warriors must one day retire. in your grief, you completely fell apart, only to realize your usually sarcastic boyfriend might actually be capable of being soft and supportive—something even more shocking than your dog’s immortality finally running out.

YELLOW STICKER BY @/soobnny

kim seungmin, resident fuckboy turned soft boy, is on a mission to quit smoking

YANG JEONGIN

IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD BY @staysuki (SMAU)

it was either you're a coward who couldn't confess your hidden feelings towards your crush who you've been best friends with since high school OR perhaps fate is just conspiring against you to make your timing with yang jeongin to never be quite right— it's definitely the second one, right? oh well, at least it's not the end of the world.

MY GIRL BY @/soobnny

the boys find out their youngest has a gf

OT8

CLUELESS BY @hanniebaeee

Just eight boys and their very chaotic group chat.

TRUE SOULMATE SERIES BY @imagine-a-life-like-this

(eight stories about different soulmate 'marks'/'systems' in a completely unconnected universe so you can read in whatever order your heart desires or just read the one that interests you the most but they're all very fun to read)

SOOBNNY'S MASTERLIST BY SUE

(as you can probably see I'm a little bit of a sue truther so please head on over to her masterlist and read her works - please and thanks)

more to come...

#stray kids fic recs #bang chan x reader #lee minho x reader #lee know x reader #seo changbin x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #han jisung x reader #lee felix x reader #kim seungmin x reader #yang jeongin x reader #skz x reader #han x reader

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jeonginsleftcheek · 5 months ago

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Hearts Collide masterlist

~ synopsis: Lee Felix, the son of the successor of a prestigious university starts his second year like he started the first one; neatly, perfectly, quietly, as always hoping not to attract much attention. But, things don't go as planned when two people crash into his world, their hearts colliding.

~ pairing: felix x afab!reader x hyunjin

~ genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut, slowburn

~ side characters: bang chan, lee minho, seo changbin, han jisung, kim seungmin, yang jeongin, other ocs (i will add more)

~ wc: ?

a/n: this fic will be written in seasons and episodes instead of chapters, like a tv show! warnings will be issued at the beginning of each episode. bear with me while i write this, it will take a lot of time. i will write one season then publish it while i work on the next season. other seasons and more info will be announced.

~ taglist: (TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU'D LIKE TO BE TAGGED. IF YOU'RE PART OF MY REGULAR TAGLIST, YOU WILL BE ADDED AUTOMATICALLY. LET ME KNOW IF YOU WISH TO BE REMOVED.)

@moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @moon-ttokki-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun @scarlet789 @skzdust @schniti-is-in-the-house @eastjonowhere @sona1800 @channiesrightasscheek @justwonder113 @yvettemint @inaribu00 @httpdwaekki @possum-playground @ria-april @yn-x-them @mariahxrrera @0omillo0 @halfwinterhalfuniverse @cooldeermagazine @delulkpopstan143 @todorokiskitten @compersian @azxulskz @stayp1eceposts @estella-novella @felixsangelicfreckles @1810cl @btch8008s @skzaddictsincedebut @onedirectionruinedme @elizalabs3 @agirllikeastorm-blog @bossbitchbabie @jellybeans4starzz @ladylexis @hoe4kpop @lattyjiji @noirvedette @pearl-monkeys @littlesillyteenagegirl @yaorzu-blog @sankopay97 @cassandramrn @reimaybeidk @thecutiepieme @felixlsworld @kjinwoon

Season 1.

Pilot Pt 1. Introducing: Lee Felix

Pilot Pt 2. Introducing: Y/n L/n

Pilot Pt 3. Introducing: Hwang Hyunjin

Episode 2. The collision: "Watch where you're going!"

Episode 3. Friends who skate together...

Episode 4. Again?!

Episode 5. Of Art and Poetry

Episode 6. Getting closer...

Episode 7. Kissed In The Dark

Episode 8. Calm Before the Storm

Episode 9. Who's under the mask?

Season 2.

Season 3.

Season 4.

~ more tba

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strayingawayy · 5 months ago

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i am a MESS and such a happy mess you guys jgjskdkfjdkd :((((

it took the previous strayingawayy blog nearly a year to get to these many followers and you guys did it in like two months and i'm so eternally grateful for all the love, support and feedback i've gotten over the past couple months. i know the past few weeks have been whacky in terms of writing and responding to feedback but i truly cherish each and every one of you. thank you thank you thank you.

special thank you to my mooties who've put up with my ass far more often than i can thank them for especially my sweethearts @hyunebunx @jisunggy @astraystayyh @jeonginsleftcheek @hwajin @www-hanverse @moon-ttokki-x and anyone else ive possibly missed but please know how thankful i am to you all for the love and support.

with that, I am very happy to say that

requests are open!

feel free to request anything angst, fluff, comfort or suggestive. if i am not comfortable with a request i shall dm you and apologise in advance for the same.

once again, thank you and have a wonderful day! 💞

#so immensely grateful #sho announces the big things ⭐

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justsomekpopstuff · 6 months ago

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@itstheghostofmypast ily thank u 🥲💚 (you are included in this too queen)

@vcrnons (i hope you're well!) @au-writer @justkpopjokes @sunnysidewrites @chanswifey @daydreamingyuta @yoonguurt @vesvosmozhno @inmydelusionalera @multi-stantrash @welcometomyoasis @mintchangkyun @03jyh23 @yutahoes @moon-ttokki-x @seungfl0wer @trustmypoison @sheerfreesia007 and i'll even add the lovely @edenesth here too because I appreciate you!

If I were to try and write something for everyone this post would literally never end, I promise. Just know I dearly and sincerely appreciate every single one of you, no matter if you are active, on hiatus, or completely inactive. I have all of you written on a note so I make sure I remember you because you deserve it. I have enjoyed the conversations that I have had with all of you, and genuinely appreciate all the support you have given me in return.

And to all my fic writing moots, I see how hard you work, and I am so grateful for all of it! You all are so incredible and talented, and it is my genuine pleasure to read what you post. I always look forward to seeing your names pop up on my dashboard, and I make sure to give your works extra attention because YOU DESERVE IT!!!!!

This post is already long enough so I will leave it there. You all are the best and I wish all of the good things for all of you!!! 💚💚💚💚💚💚

rb to tell ur mutuals ur fond of them

#i love my mutuals #favorites #absolutely saving this one

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hyuneskkami · 3 months ago

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ꔫ : 500 followers event .ᐟ . ੭

𓏔 you are invited to skye’s midnight ball .ᐟ

to celebrate the acquisition of 500 loyal subjects, i’d like to invite everyone to the midnight ball! this invite expires on the 13th of may. the letterbox (ask box) will remain open before and after this date, as well. enjoy, and have a lovely night!

a velvet note in moonlight cast,

“join the dance ‘til stars drift past.”

— event closed.

꒰ 🖇️ ꒱ note. omg. this is actually crazy,, five hundred followers <33 i’m super super grateful for all of you! be it for the skz fics, or pjo and haikyuu fics, or even the dividers… it’s an insane number of people who are interested in my blog lol. it’s genuinely surprising because I remember it like it was yesterday that I was creating an intro post for this blog and reaching out to mori (aka my wife now) to become mutuals <3 anyway, it’s been a hot minute since I did an event, so I thought why not?

⤷ ⌞ intro post ⌝

ꕀ dress code.

[rules for before requesting.]

⟡ only two requests per day [ mutuals exempt – you can send in however many you want per day ]

⟡ only one request per ask

⟡ only sfw requests [ fluff. angst. smau. texts. ] [ you can check everything I write. ]

⟡ read all general rules first

⟡ fandoms: stray kids , riordanverse , haikyuu , animes , kdramas [ + any others mentioned in my fandoms list ]

⟡ anon allowed

⟡ in the ask, please include : title , character , fandom , any applicable / req descriptions

ꕀ masterlist.

[all sections except ‘midnight toast’ are open for everyone.]

𐂯. photo booth .ᐟ

send an ask describing your aesthetic / your vibe in a paragraph or more, and i’ll write you an x reader fic paired with a character I think you’d like (also include your ideal type). [ mention your top three fandoms. ] [ mention if you want the reader to be female or male – I usually write only for f!readers, but I can try to write m!readers too. ] [ the ‘reader’ in the fic will have a similar vibe as your description. ]

[ req. 02 | written. 00 ]

𐂯. party playlist .ᐟ

send an ask mentioning your favourite song [ and any lyric from it , if you want to ] , why you like it , and a character to write a songfic for it. [ you’ll have to mention the following: song , artist name , character , fandom of the character. ]

[ req. 01 | written. 00 ]

𐂯. midnight toast .ᐟ [ only for mutuals ]

send an ask about what you think about us as a duo, and i’ll give you a surprise based on that. [ replies to these asks will vary from fics to moodboards to playlists, etc. ]

[ req. 03 | written. 00 ]

ꕀ rsvp.

[moots/comment to be added to the taglist.]

@seraphicloves @dejundesign @riordanness @your-mommy-ems @iheartgirlzn @arqbella @fizzywashere87 @lovelorngirl @moon-ttokki-x @eunwonji @maybxlle

#ꔫ : 500 followers event .ᐟ . ੭ #ㅤꢾ꣒ hyuneskkami #love love love you all omg <3 #masterlist #event #500 followers #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #stray kids #haikyuu #anime #kdrama #fluff #angst #smau #x reader #character x reader #x reader fluff #x reader angst

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secret-orange-slice · 4 months ago

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thank you so much for the reblog comment on 'stupidly perfect' !! left me giggling and kicking my feet <3

- ttokki

ofc!! if i ever start writing again, i hope to be as good as you. i can’t wait for part 3! ♡

#emmy answers

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namuswife · 6 years ago

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if your friends/mutuals were famous, what would you see them being famous for and why?

@mmmikrokosmos - she’s gonna be famous for her efforts in animal/wildlife conservation. She’s already well on her way. She’s gonna be running a park one of these days. Living amongst the wolves!

@ttokki-kook - she’s gonna get famous for writing the first book in the crack smut genre. Or maybe an extra spicy sci-fi/fantasy type novel. It’ll get a movie deal, which she’ll draw up and design her own costumes for. She’s a badass like that.

@rapgodmyg - omg, she could be famous for so many things. I think she’ll be famous for being the most giving philanthropist to so many causes after becoming a successful veterinarian and best adoptive momma there is! 💕

@nemjyoon - after much discussion. She will be famous for being a pro asshole peach in tinfoil pants. ✨🍑✨ she’s just gonna be famous for being her. Jack of all trades.

@btstory - this dear sweet angel flower is gonna be famous once her amazing selflessness is recognized. She cares for others so much she sometimes doesn’t even take care of herself properly. Or, you know, for being the amazon woman that built a nest and took up residence in JK’s hair. My neighbor, as I live at 0912 KNJ’s dimple.

@funkyrosejin - Sarvi is gonna be a famous, extra warm, kind doctor. She’s gonna get rich and spend her time helping all the less fortunate people around the world. I know it. She’s probably gonna be more famous for building personal cloning machines AND a time machine. My smart Sarvi!

@introjoon - my jacks is gonna make it into the movie business. She’s gonna start by writing for film magazines, and eventually she’ll be writing movie scripts. Bet you she ends up going so far as to produce and/or direct too. Just watch.

@miniminisb - Rae is gonna be famous for being one of the first sister wives of an idol. Joon has two tiddie soulmates apparently, so we’re all getting married. We’ll endure fame together. Even though I’m positive she’ll leave us for Min Baby Yoongi.

@la-vie-en-tae - she’ll be a famous sugar baby bear to the one and only honey daddy. Sfjkgjk really, I could see cara being some kind of famous designer. She’s got an eye for the beautiful things.

@untrueparkjimin - I selfishly want her to become a successful teacher turned traveling YouTuber, so that she can come to me and I can just hold her like I always tell her I’m going to.

#hi hi i love you #this is so cheesy and idgaf #cute stuff #mutuals💕#anon #asks

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moon-ttokki-x · 5 months ago

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protective!maknae line skz x maknae!9th member reader

pairing: protective!ot8!skz x maknae!9th member reader

summary: how skz would be protective of their maknae (that's you!)

genre: idol!au, 9th member!au, maknae line being super sweet and supportive, mentions of acne, scars, uhh spiders? bugs in general, seungmin villain era, felix is passive aggressive (there's a valid reason i promise)

a/n: divider by @mikeykuns . also taglist is open for anyone who wants to join !

skz masterlist | hyung line

Han who watches out of the corner of his eye as your stylist sits you down in your usual chair before the show, and begins sticking stickers all over your face. When you bat their hand away, they tell you it's because of your scars and acne that's been happening recently, and Han can't fight the sudden, unexpected anger that rises up inside of his chest as he watches you sink down into the chair and go silent. Definitely gets up and puts a few of the same stickers on his own face so as not to draw attention to yours, and gently peels off a few of them on your face, telling you that you look stunning whether there are blemishes on your face or not. Spends the rest of pre-concert prep sticking stickers onto the members' butts to try and cheer you up (it works).

Felix who goes live after you received hate for your outfit at their latest concert, passive-aggressively mentioning the event and glaring through the camera. Comments flood the screen but he couldn't care less; he just doesn't see the point of hating on someone so unnecessarily for something that wasn't even their fault. Doesn't look up as you appear at the door, silently watching him chide the 'Stays' who threw hateful comments at you as you left the venue after the performance. Bravely sticks up for you despite the many repercussions it could have, and lets you sit under his desk while he changes the subject, talking to Stay through the camera about various other things. Strokes your hair and lets you rest your head on his knee, relishing his comforting warmth.

Seungmin who talks far more than usual during a certain episode of a variety show; he's watching you being pushed towards a small container, with some sort of spider or bug inside. You've mentioned to him before that that sort of thing really freaks you out, and he can see the visible distress on your face as you're forced to pick the insect up, flinching and tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. Tries to draw the hosts' attention away from you so you can put the unpleasant insect down, and messes about and knocks things over to keep them occupied while you collect yourself. And, if he's feeling particularly mean (which he is) the hosts might find themselves dealing with a few creepy crawlies in their dressing room later. But it's nothing to do with him, he didn't do anything.... (yes he did).

Jeongin who quickly covers you during a performance when your voice cracks or goes unstable, not even looking at you so people don't catch onto the mistake. Even adds a few notes onto the song to draw attention away from you, and winks at you as he slides into his position for the second part of the routine, effortlessly covering the part you've missed due to the slip-up. He knows how it feels, to feel like you ruined a performance for the whole group, so he sticks with you after the show as well, holding your hand, and talking to you constantly and quietly to keep your mind off of the mistake. Even messes about with his hyungs to make you laugh (though he's terrified of what Minho might do to him later), but it's worth it to see you smile, always.

a/n: yayy second part . just keeping you guys fed <3 keep an eye out for the second part of 'stupidly perfect' (chan x reader)!

send a dm, comment under the taglist post, or send an ask to be added !

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moon-ttokki-x · 2 months ago

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Helloo

I'm here to ask something like a little too sad? I really like those scenarios. Like members reaction to 9th member's attempt to suicide? But like one of them(Minho or Jeongin) accidentally come to bathroom and see her? It's a little sad but I like those ones. Maybe even add a relationship between her and Chan?

hi~ i love sad requests . . . the sad ones are some of my favourites too, and hopefully this will help someone feel better <3

butterfly - (ot8!skz x 9th member fem!reader)

pairing: ot8!skz (mainly lee know) x 9th member fem!reader

summary: butterflies; the symbols of hope, growth, and recovery.

genre: idol! au, 9th member!au, fem!reader, su*cide attempt, graphic descriptions of self-h@rm, mentions of blood, cvtting, bandages, depression, alienation, mentions of blades, razors, sharp items, mentions of eating and drinking, mentions of fainting, passing out, blood loss, lee know referred to as 'minho' in this fic, bf!chan, please proceed with caution, and remember that you're not alone <3

a/n: this hit a little close to my heart, so i'm hoping this might help some of you who are struggling . in no way am i romanticising any of the heavy and triggering topics in this fic, so please skip if you are uncomfortable . my dms are always open if you'd like to talk . be safe, my loves <3

skz masterlist

The world is grey.

Greyer than you remembered; you thought you'd been getting better. You thought you'd learnt to feel the sunshine warming your skin again, remembered the way you found your mouth curving into a smile randomly. Embraced that familiar feeling of a happy buoyant bubble in your stomach.

Apparently not.

You're not sure how you feel right now. Distracted, angry, dull? Nothing seems to light you up, not even the deepest rage or the best news. Everything simply hit your crumbling shield and absorbed. Like pouring water on a sheet.

The patch simply darkened and sunk, drying but becoming more saturated with sadness every single time. And it felt heavy, heavier than you ever thought it would feel.

You can't taste the food on your plate; the noise of the members laughing and bickering around you seems to fade into the background, the soundwaves passing through as if you were simply a ghost.

A numb ghost sitting at the dinner table with a fork in one heavy hand, rather than a valued member of Stray Kids having dinner with the rest of her group. The atmosphere of the familiar dorm is foreign, unusual.

Like a hotel room rather than your home.

You scrunch your hands and rub your fingertips over your thighs, feeling the raised tissue of old scars bump in smooth, small dunes under the pads of your fingers. You feel the denim of your jeans rustle with the movement, the fabric rough and once-comforting. Now it just feels itchy.

Jisung shouts right in your ear then as he argues with Changbin across the table, and you don't even flinch. It simply passes over your head. Even if you wanted to, you can't find it in yourself to be annoyed at him. At least he's happy.

Is this normal? Am I overreacting?

Surely it can't be fake if you feel like this. But-

Your eyes lift themselves slowly and land on Chan. Previously, you couldn't look at him without a blush tinging your cheeks and the familiar view of a red rose in your mind's eye. The memory of his confession was always one that made you giggle, sometimes at inappropriate times.

Like when JYP fell over on stage and you were laughing because you remembered Chan doing the same thing, falling, and the image of his lovely face accompanied by his cheesy pick-up lines and warm hands came to mind.

But you don't feel like smiling now. Not like you did then.

You're both in the settling-in stage of your relationship; as always Chan has proven to be the best partner anyone could ever ask for. He's never let you down, carried you through the tough times, held your hand and wiped your tears. He knows how you've been feeling, but after a while, out of worry, you began to keep it secret.

And you felt bad. You did. Really.

Because he deserves to know. Deserves to know so that he can help you, kiss it better like he always has. Because that's just how he is, and how he's always been.

But he also deserves to be kept in the dark. Deserves to be able to continue with his life, be a leader and a producer and everything else without worrying that one day your feelings will take over and you'll disappear.

Because right now, that seems like the best option. Surely things will be easier for him, for all of them, if you took yourself out of the equation.

What would it feel like, you think. To drown, to accidentally slip and fall, to walk into the road without looking, to feel the chair leave the soles of your feet, to cut too deep on accident, it would all be an accident, Chan, it was an accident, I'm okay, I promise you'll be okay, everything is okay, I promise-

The fork clatters out of your hand. Nobody notices, the din of the members covering it up. Chan is almost on his feet opposite you, giggling and laughing and trying and failing to quiet the group. He doesn't notice when you begin to stand, then hesitantly sit back down.

None of them do.

It's not a secret that sometimes you need to be alone; the guys understand that you need time to yourself every now and then, when your head gets too loud or the members yell too much. All you have to do is stand up and leave, and go and lie down, tell them that's what you need right now.

Of course, that isn't always the case. Sometimes you just want to be alone, and not because they're being too loud or rowdy. You want to be alone because being around these happy people puts you in a state of disconnect so brutal and numbing that you can't stand to look any of them in the eye.

That's not what's happening right now. A mad impulse rises, a dangerous little thought pops into your head, and begins to simmer in a rather sinister manner in the back of your mind.

You swallow thickly. Your throat is dry. The now-flat soda you were previously sipping did nothing to quell the dryness. Your windpipe feels scratchy and your stomach bubbles in apprehensiveness, but you ignore it and steel yourself.

You turn your head to the left, feeling your neck creak; you've been still for so long- and look at Minho. He's grinning past you, watching as Changbin almost flies at Jisung over the table, clearly unaware of the hollowness rooted in your stomach, no, your whole being.

In every fibre of you-

"Minho," you say, hardly a whisper. His gaze meets yours, and even though he's still smiling and his gaze is not intense, joy dimmed faintly as he takes in your ghostly pallor- you still feel yourself shrink under it. Like an underwatered flower in the hot, baking sun.

"Yes?" He says. You feel Chan turn his head slightly in your direction, and your heart lurches unpleasantly. He's listening in, clearly in concern, but it makes you irritated. Unreasonably so.

"I'm gonna go lie down," you say, not acknowledging Chan as he fully turns to face both you and Minho, the chaos in the background forgotten.

Minho's eyes meet Chan, and his eyes gaze back, asking a silent question.

Is she okay?

Minho nods faintly and smiles at you, placing a warm hand over yours. You fight the urge to wince at the contact; it feels wrong, and all you want to do is shake it off. You exhale slightly as he removes his hand.

"Sure," Minho says gently. "Go ahead. I know we're being noisy."

You nod and force a weak smile before pushing your chair back. No one looks at you, save Chan stealing a glance as you stand up, but it feels like getting up in front of a crowd. You almost throw up over the table.

Excusing yourself from the group, you turn and leave the room. You trail a hand along the wall of the corridor, your knees strangely aching as you take the stairs upwards. Guilt and a mad sort of happiness take over your being and you move faster, almost driven by the manic feeling. Your body feels foreign and alien, possessed almost.

Entering your room, you shut the door as carefully as you can, and swear. No lock. You forgot about that.

Well, there's the bathroom... But it's bright in there, and you won't be able to see what you're doing in the dark either.

You gaze thoughtfully around the room, your brain going faster than it has in weeks. Your LED lights are on; the ones Hyunjin gifted you for your birthday are set to a gentle purple glow, casting soft violet hues over the bed and shelves. His smiling face appears in your mind and you push it away before you can get distracted.

The bedroom will do.

You avoid looking in the mirror as you pass it by, opening the door to the bathroom and rummaging in the drawers, not bothering to turn the light on. You know this routine well enough.

You pull out a pack of tissues, crumpling it in your hand, and reach under the top of the drawer above it. You move your fingers side to side until they catch on a piece of metal, hidden under a strip of tape, and pull it out. The tape dangles and you carelessly push the drawer shut.

Reentering the bedroom, you sit down at the foot of the bed. Shimmying off your jeans, and then taking off your shirt too, you set them aside to avoid any stains. Not that it matters anymore. They'll find you here with the razor blade still in your hand. You tug at the strap of your bra, trying to relieve the sudden tension stuck between them.

You're really doing this.

Because it doesn't matter, right?

Right?

No, you shake your head firmly, tears building in your eyes, stubborn and despondent. This is for the best.

Your eyes scan your thighs. Looking for the unscarred skin, the parts of you that are still smooth, still clean, not too-far-gone, not rough around the edges, not crumbling, not breaking, not you-

It stings a little the first time. Your breathing becomes shallow as you watch the skin. Nothing wells up, and you can't see the first slicing impact of it, the lighting too low to be able to see anything much. Nothing happens, so you do it again.

And again. And again.

The mad impulse takes over.

You draw your hand in messy, deep, harsh lines across your thighs, quick and brutal, and when you look down, your fingertips are stained in blood. So is the blade, and both thighs are a mess. It aches, but it feels so, so good.

Like greeting an old friend, like embracing someone you thought you'd seen left behind. It burns and the wetness of tacky blood sliding down your legs feels... nice, almost. Familiar, definitely.

Your breathing becomes even more shallow, coming in quick, short gasps, your eyes scanning the skin, moving to your arms, drawing long, deep slashes, welling with blood, spilling like the tears in your eyes, tacky and slippery and iron-smelling, black under the light.

The air smells like blood. It's cloying and you breathe yourself in, gruesome in the best way.

Your hands are sticky and drying with the faint sheen and splotches of scarlet, and when your eyes meet your wrist, you pause.

Just for a second.

And then you raise your hand, the blade sticky and red, smeared and slippery between your shaking fingers. A salute, the colour of finality staining your fingertips, wet, raw, real.

You smile as the tears slip down, soaking your cheeks. Squeezing your eyes shut, taking a last breath, and bring your hand down.

Down...

You feel the deep bite of the blade, hear the slight scrape of it, push it deeper, and rip sideways. As hard as you can.

Gritting your teeth, your eyes squeeze even tighter closed and you lift your hand and rip into the soft skin again and again, determined to draw every drop of blackened scarlet out of you, stain your body, stain the floor.

Then a rustle, a flash of light, a tackle to your curled figure.

You smell faded cologne and the world tips sharply sideways. The blade goes flying and your head hits the wall, dull, not enough to knock you out but enough to stun you.

You blink as a warm weight settles over you, emerging from a dazed stupor, frantic and shaking and gasping, and your eyes meet Minho's, welling with violet tears under the artificial light.

"No," he gasps, crying. A sob rips from his throat. "No, Y/n, why- Y/n, oh, fuck-"

You don't say anything, heart pounding, watching as Minho lifts a hand, stained in scarlet, shaking, distressed, cradling your arm. You think you're wearing a sleeve over your arm before you realise the sleeve is wet, and it's not a sleeve of fabric at all, rather a stream of wet, tacky blood.

Dark and deep. White peeks at the edges of the cut, stinging under the coolness of the movement of air around you.

You don't move, but Minho does. He pulls you upright, into his chest, gasping and gulping for air like he's the one bleeding out.

His scream for Chan chills your heart, chills you to the bone.

"Chan-hyung," he shouts, voice breaking, almost a scream. He screams it over and over again. He sounds like a child more than anything else.

You can't see anything, face buried in Minho's shirt, but you feel the back of your head being cradled, eyes drooping, and Minho's tears begin to drip onto your face as he leans over you, holding you like a precious item, fragile, breakable. He looks terrified, but you feel calm, strangely so.

He's shaking, and the sound of thumping footsteps and shouts of concern, not just one set of them, but multiple, thunder towards you, assaulting your ears like a shower of dull bullets.

Light floods the room, blank and yellow and foreign from a lamp in the corner, and Chan's hands are on you, and when you look across, Jeongin is on his knees at the doorway, wailing, Hyunjin and Seungmin at his sides, the rest of the members a horrified, terrified cluster of bodies behind them. You hear a thud and see Felix fall, then more shouting, someone rushing into the bathroom, noise and crying and gasps and-

"Y/n," Chan gasps, phone to his ear, shaking, tears slipping down his cheeks. You can't feel his warmth, or maybe his hands have gone cold. "Y/n, you'll be okay. Stay with us. You're gonna be fine, baby, I promise..."

You let yourself relax in Minho's shaking arms, stare up at the ceiling. His sobs sound nothing like him. Having never heard him cry, it's strange to finally hear his misery. It sounds soft, breakable, almost unreal. It makes you smile.

The world screens out to black.

Minho's prominent sobs fade into the background.

It still hurts. Sometimes.

But only sometimes. Like a bruise that you forget you have, it only stings when you push too hard, knock it against something.

The wound is healing. So are your thighs.

But it still hurts. Just like the memory.

You'd woken in a dazed stupor in the hospital, doctors and nurses and the members and the staffs' faces all blurring together in white flashes, smelling faintly of iron and disinfectant.

Two weeks later, you were back home. The cut wasn't actually that bad. Just bled a lot, made a mess. But not enough to...

Anyway.

The memory, the stinging pain of the event floats faintly around your head like a cloud, filled with rain but unsure whether to pour it all out. You still feel dazed, numb, but not as much as before. Guilty, definitely, but never more loved.

You wonder what would have happened if you'd actually followed through with it. Because deep down, you know that you didn't really want to die. Leave everyone behind, escape entirely, hand your pain over with shaking hands to those you knew. But part of you is still reeling, shaking, frantic inside, when you remember how you felt.

Upstairs, alone, numb.

While your members, unknowingly laughed and bickered on the level below. You wonder what went through their heads when they heard Minho's screaming, saw you almost lifeless, a half-dead, scarlet mess in his arms, saw Chan's shaking hands and the dull light of his phone as he called the ambulance. Felix fainting, the thud of his knees hitting the cold hardwood. Jeongin's devastated wailing.

You hear the sounds of it all, expressionless, barely-alive, but so, so real.

The thin tip of a pen slowly pulls you back to the surface. Makes your skin tingle on the inside of your arm, the sensitive skin around your wrist that you somehow managed to avoid in your distress. That vital vein.

You look down.

Minho's hair brushes against your cheek as you peek at your arm; you can feel the soft tip of the black pen in his hand poking lightly at the skin.

"What are you drawing?" You say softly.

He doesn't reply, too focused on the black lines flowing out of the pen. They're a little shaky, and he's careful not to touch the bandage wrapping your wrist, but you can tell he's clearly invested in leaving the drawings over your arm. You can't see what it is yet.

Chan comes over then, sitting down quietly on the couch next to you. He sets a cup of tea on the table, and you feel the familiar, warm weight of his head on your shoulder, nestling in the crook of your neck. You both watch a tendril of steam rise from the cup, curling and fading into the air in soft, white wisps. The scent of heated chamomile fills the room, and you smile as Chan inhales deeply.

His hand finds yours, resting on your knee, warm and dry and calloused. You feel the steady, solid weight of it over your own, his fingertips brushing your knuckles as he glances at your left forearm.

"Whatcha doing, Min?" He murmurs.

Minho responds with a hum, a little squeak that makes you smile. He sounds like one of his cats. He pulls back, capping the black pen with a smile of satisfaction.

"Do you like it?" He says, clearly proud of himself. Chan chuckles, leaning in to get a closer look at his drawing.

You smile back. It's small, but it's real, genuine. So is the slightly-smudged butterfly on the soft skin of your inner forearm.

"Yes," you say, touching it gently. "I do."

a/n: okay well now i'm sad . div by @webc00re

ttokki's taglist: @emilyywhyy @galaxy4489 @hyuneskkami @justsomekpopstuff @wavetohannie @strayingawayy @its-stayville-forever @sillyseob @wickedbutlovely @headfirstfortoro @lov3yv4mps @possum-playground @bear8585 @astraystayyh @m-325 @gnabnahcbby @mbioooo0000 @akindaflora @tsunderelino @hhwangsmoon @crazyforthatbangchandude @bluebellsringinghereandthere @ladylexis @tillaboo @geni-627 @jsngprk-vhs @stellasays45 @de-uns-tempos-pra-ca @luvvchn

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moon-ttokki-x · 3 months ago

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what if the 9th member of skz was having a terrible day and just feeling off, like nothing is going well? then, during dance practice she can't focus and can't get the moves right, so the members, stressed, tired and overworked snap at her and say hurtful things. in the heat of the moment she gets emotional and runs off, but later she's hurt, but very understanding and chill. in the end, please make it fluffy. (please leave the reader's age a mystery)

i swear i've seen another fic like this request but maybe it was just a fever dream . anyways . . .

soft landing - (ot8!skz x distressed!reader)

pairing: ot8!skz x distressed!reader

summary: you've all been stretched thin by the latest comeback, and skz catches you on a bad day.

genre: idol!au, reader's age and place in the group is unspecified, ngl skz are pretty mean in this one, mentions of eating and drinking, mentions of blood, bruises, throwing up, feeling dizzy, depression, burnout, exhaustion, reader just really needs a hug tbh

a/n: back in my inconsolably angsty fic writing era

skz masterlist

It was one of those days; the type where you woke up and just knew somehow that things were going to go wrong.

You felt sluggish. Bleary. Dull.

You almost slipped out of bed, your alarm ringing so loudly you were sure you'd woken all of Seoul.

Then, you'd hit your hand on the bedside table trying to turn it off, and then dropped your toothbrush on your foot when you entered the bathroom.

Breakfast had been a fiasco; you'd lost motivation in trying to cook something before practice. Half an Oreo was enough until lunch time, right?

Huffing, you stab the elevator button with a finger, readjusting the bag on your shoulder. Glancing across at the small strip of reflective metal above the button selection, you smooth out your ruffled hair before waiting for the doors to open.

You only just made it to the studio in time; Changbin turns around with a sigh as you whirl around and pull the door shut.

"Took you long enough," he says. "Go sing your lines."

You know he didn't mean to sound angry or irritated; everyone had been stretched thin lately, and you knew he was just tired.

The new comeback was taking a toll on everyone, including Chan (who was sitting at the mixing table and clearly hadn't slept in a week), and Jisung, who was fast asleep on the couch, an arm thrown over his head. His song lyrics glow on his phone, rising and falling on his stomach in tandem with his soft, slow breathing.

Sighing, you drop your belongings on the floor, startling Jisung awake, and shut the door of the recording booth behind yourself. Slipping on the headphones, you wait for the beat before singing several of your lines.

Chan looks at you strangely through the glass. His eyes were dark and baggy. "Try again, Y/n."

Even hearing him say that made you feel like a failure. He hadn't said anything wrong; just told you to rerecord your part. A little bubble of sadness rises in your stomach and you shove it down, clamped a lid on it.

This was no time to be dramatic, let alone succumb to the desperate tiredness pulling you down into the dark depths of your mind. Shaking your head and swallowing thickly, you sing again, and this time, Chan nods before scribbling down a few notes in his pad.

You leave the recording booth and sat quietly on the couch next to Jisung, who clearly hasn't forgiven you for waking him up. He huffs and shuffles away from you, pressing himself up against the other side of the couch.

Normally, the petty gesture would have made you laugh, scoot across the couch, poke his cheek or make fun of his childish act. But you just don't have it in you to be enthusiastic, or even move without reason.

And though you know he doesn't mean it, that he isn't trying to be genuinely hurtful, it strangely pulls at your heartstrings and makes your spirits sink. The world is covered in a permanent grey filter, blocking out all life and colour and joy.

Oh. Okay.

You spend the rest of the producing session with your knees tucked to your chest, nodding when Changbin or Chan calls out a note for everyone to remember, but mainly sitting quietly and trying to ignore the awful feeling in your chest.

Your stomach hurts; it aches deep down in the middle, and you feel sick. Not throw-up sick; more sad, lonely, too-tired, joy-deprived sick.

You barely register 3RACHA packing up their equipment and heading to the dance studio; your body moves on autopilot, as if someone's puppeteering you, and follow them down the hall. Everything feels muted; your body feels alien, like you don't really belong in it.

Floating...

You don't even remember what's happening before the blast of music brings you back down to earth, along with the sounds of heavy panting and shoes squeaking on the polished wooden floor.

The boys are already moving into position, Seungmin moving to the front for his part.

You stumble and Felix gives you a look, but you manage to somehow catch yourself and keep dancing. But trying to keep up with the boys is like running through water. Slow, sluggish, impossible.

Their moves look so smooth and practiced; you feel like a child that's wandered into the studio and been forced to dance. You know the choreo, of course you do.

You could never forget it, not with the countless hours of practicing it, but it's like your body and mind are disconnected, and your limbs just aren't doing what you want them to. You stumble into Hyunjin during formation and ungracefully take him down to the floor with you.

"Oof-"

There's several groans and whines, and a few voiced concerns. The music turns off.

You hear a groan above you; Hyunjin has taken the brunt of the fall, your head pillowed on his stomach. He whines and sits up, and you roll off while rubbing your wrist. It aches, and the sudden, heart-dropping pain is making it hard to breathe. You fight the urge to whimper.

"Sorry, Hyune," you whisper to him. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine," he grunts, standing up and brushing himself off. He stalks back to position and gives you a pointed look. Everyone is staring, and the music rewinds several seconds, so you meekly heave yourself up and do the same.

Your wrist is really throbbing now, and you hiss before blinking black dots and tears out of your vision. This isn't the time to be weak. The comeback is soon, and all your group members seem to be doing fine; there's no reason you can't do the same.

Get a grip, you tell yourself harshly.

But the self-chiding doesn't work; it only brings with it a certain sort of desperation, the type that preludes your body giving up, and your mind following. You're exhausted. And you kick yourself, because it's past lunch time and you didn't eat, didn't even notice the time pass.

You haven't ingested anything all day, or done anything productive apart from sing your lines, but your body is screaming for rest like you've just run a marathon. You're running on fumes.

You feel absolutely pathetic, but you meanly shove it aside in favour of trying to keep up.

And you do, at least until your foot slips out from underneath you without warning, sending you to the floor with a dull thud. Pain explodes in your side, lungs struggling to take in air.

This time, you can hear the exasperated groans of "Y/n, come on," and "Are you serious?", but you don't even register it, rolling onto your side in the hopes of sucking at least some air into your lungs. You gulp and exhale sharply, on the verge of laying back down and sobbing. On the edge of giving up entirely and starting a new life on the studio floor.

No one reaches out to help.

You expect to see a hand reaching to yours, someone's sneakers as they lean down, a soothing hand on your back, maybe, but it doesn't come. Not even from Chan.

What you do hear is a harsh "Can you stop being so dramatic?" and a mean little laugh bubbling out of a member behind you.

Your vision blurs with tears, the skin of your sweaty cheek almost sticking to the floor in its wetness. Heaving yourself up slowly, and with such pain and difficulty you're convinced you've broken something, you keel over and gasp for air.

Nobody moves. The sound of it, or lack thereof, is horrible.

Your eyes stop blurring for just a moment, enough that you can see your reflection swaying in the mirror, the pale sheen and shakiness of your hands, and the stoic faces of your members.

"Y/n, can you at least try to keep up?" Minho huffs, stressed, hands on hips. "We've got a performance in two days and you can't even get past the first half of the choreo-"

"Shut the fuck up," you snap venomously.

Silence.

Everyone's faces are contorted in shock; you're sure you would have looked the same way, had you not currently been feeling so sick. You've surprised even yourself; the comment burst out of you like a sharp needle suddenly and forcefully piercing a stiff piece of fabric.

Minho looks like he's about to retaliate, no doubt with a severe reply of his own, but it's interrupted by Chan's voice descending like rumbling thunder over the studio.

"Y/n, we don't have time for this," he shouts. "Take five minutes, and then we'll restart. Just try harder, okay? You're bringing the group down-"

"Maybe," you cry out at him, hot tears spilling down your cheeks, "If you think I'm bringing the group down, I should just fucking leave!"

You shove past Jeongin and Hyunjin before fleeing out of the studio and down the corridor, leaving the rest of the group standing in stunned silence.

Minho sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose.

You don't go far; you drag your feet to the end of a corridor and enter an unused vocal room.

A classic piano and several guitars on the wall sport a thin coat of dust, and you stir more of it up as you collapse against the wall. The sun is in your eyes and you can see the dust floating about you, but you just don't have the energy to care.

Thoughts race in your head.

You're bringing the group down...

The comeback is soon and you're not ready.

Stop being so dramatic!

Just try harder. Everyone else is fine-

So why aren't you?

Sniffling, you pull back your sleeve and turn your wrist over. There's already a nasty purple bruise forming on the bone of your wrist, and it hurts to move back and forth. You feel dizzy from all of the gasping, and the sound of static surrounds your being as you try and rid your lungs of the winded feeling.

It's still hard to gulp in a full breath of air; you must have fallen really hard, and your side is definitely tender and bruised. Part of you wants to take your shirt off and inspect the damage, but you just sit and stare unseeingly out the window. Everything turns into doubles and triples as you let your eyes unfocus.

Two Jeongins suddenly poke their head quietly into the room.

No, wait, just one. One.

"Hi," he says quietly, almost a whisper. Guilt coats his expression.

You just blink tiredly, sniffing as he trails inside. He sneezes once from the dust, and you don't even jump. Or smile like you usually do at the fox-like way he sniffs and rubs his nose.

He sits down a respectful distance from you, clearly aware of the rapid, panicked rising and falling of your chest, and the sweat sheening your forehead. "Are you okay?"

You feel more hot tears stream down your cheeks like little paths of lava. You open your mouth to form a word, but no sound comes out.

"Y/n," he says sorrowfully. "I'm really sorry."

Minho's voice fills the air. "So are we."

Both of you turn just as Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Felix trail into the room, followed by the rest of the members. Minho moves to sit by your side and you stubbornly look away, not ready to face him just yet.

"We shouldn't have snapped at you the way we did," Felix says quietly. The rest of the members nod their heads, murmuring in agreement. "You were having a rough day, and we should have noticed."

"It's okay," you say, so quiet you can't even hear it. But they do.

"No, it's not," Hyunjin says firmly. "In times like this, we should be supporting each other, not tearing each other down."

"Hyune-"

"We've all been stretched thin because of the comeback, Y/n," Changbin says quietly. "We know you have been, too. But Hyunjin's right. We should be kinder to each other because of it, no matter if we get tired or stressed or upset."

You swallow, throat dry and itchy. The saliva does nothing to soothe it. "I messed up the choreography."

Chan tilts his head softly, voice gentle and sad. "And we messed up your day."

Minho touches your hand lightly, expression uncharacteristically soft. "You forgive us?"

You nod, not having the energy to be upset. You just want to go home and rest. Eat something. Feel better again, feel real again.

He sighs quietly, relieved but still worried. "You got hurt and we didn't help. Is it bad?"

You chuckle, voice cracking as your eyes well up. "Nah."

Chan strokes a strand of damp hair out of your eyes. "I'm so truly sorry, Y/n. I didn't mean it when I said that you're bringing the group down. It was so hurtful of me to say-"

"Yeah, Chan-hyung," Jeongin chides him. "You're mean."

The rest of the members eagerly agree and interrupt with their own little lectures, Jisung even going so far to bravely snatch his leader's black cap off of his head. It makes you crack a tiny smile.

"Alright, guys, enough," Chan says meekly. "Let's get you home, Y/n. You need a good rest. I think we all do."

"Group hug, everyone," Felix says, clapping his hands suddenly. "No one's leaving 'til all has been fixed and forgiven."

"Yes!" Hyunjin claps his hands. "Group hug. You too, Seungmin-"

"No- Hmphff-"

You exhale with a small smile as you're piled upon. Closing your eyes, you let yourself be held, let the day's events wash off you like soapy suds. You've been suspended in the air all day by tangled ropes, ones that fray and snap and threaten to drop you plummeting to earth, but when you finally fall, you find that you're not afraid.

And for the first time in a while, falling doesn't hurt.

It's a soft, sure landing.

a/n: i want to nap so bad rn tbh

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moon-ttokki-x · 2 months ago

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Hii!! I absolutely adore your work, especially your 9th member stuff!

I was wondering if there was anyway to write an imagine where the reader is the second oldest hyung (younger than Chan but older than Minho) and acts like a mother figure occasionally. And her and Chan are super close (possibly secretly dating?) and the other members start to catch on during little moments during interviews and stuff like that.

Or even just short blurts/headcannons of something like “Chan and y/n being in love for 5 minutes straight.”

I totally get that this is a lot to ask, so if you want to tweak it that is completely up to you! You don’t even have to do this if you don’t want to. xx 🩵

hi thank you sm <3 this is cute. i liked the idea of doing a short headcanon sort of thing, so here . . .

"hyung, are you in love with y/n?"

pairing: bang chan x fem 9th member!reader

summary: chan can't hide how smitten he is, and skz begins to catch on . . .

genre: idol!au, 9th member!au, fem!reader i think, just pure fluff, maybe a little suggestive idk?? there's literally nothing else to write tbh this is just super short and sweet (like chan) who said that omg it wasn't me . . .

a/n: yep

skz masterlist

Smitten!Chan who can't help but stare at you during interviews; his gaze always drifts to you even when you're not the one talking. He tries so hard to pay attention, he really does, but he just can't help it; you look so pretty, with your makeup done and your hair styled so perfectly.

Smitten!Chan who can't stop a little smile from curling the corners of his mouth when you smile just at him; he covers it up with a hand, seemingly brushing something off his lip, but he knows it won't fool anyone. He's all lingering touches, on your lower back, your cheek, your hair when he pats it, your arms when he adjusts your position in the choreo.

Smitten!Chan whose hand stays just a little too long to be innocent or friendly. Has a little chain bracelet with your initial on it tucked down his forearm, unseen and covered by his long sleeves. Never takes it off, and you wear yours around your ankle, the tiny 'CB' almost invisible. You know, unless someone looks a little too close...

Smitten!Chan who steals kisses in the dressing room, fighting not to kiss you too hard, otherwise he'll ruin your perfect makeup. You have to push him off once you hear the members coming down the hallway, but it's a struggle when he wants to keep you in his arms. His hand brushes yours as you both walk down to the backstage area. He can't help but steal glances at you when he's motivating the members with his usual hype speech.

Smitten!Chan who has to fight the urge to kiss you in front of Stay. He wants the whole world to know so badly; but he knows you wouldn't be comfortable with that right now, so he holds back. Expect to be called to his room for a quick 'discussion'. Long story short, Jeongin walked in at the wrong time and saw you both in each other's arms, faces close to each other. Talk about traumatising.

Smitten!Chan who frantically waves his hands, shushing him, and quickly runs to clamp a hand over his mouth. You can't fight the giggles when Chan sits him down on the bed, trying to get him to keep quiet. Jeongin's accusatory glance is enough to make you let out a giggle, and enough for Chan to exasperatedly glance at you out of the corner of his eye.

Smitten!Chan who gives up and lets Jeongin-whisper rant at both of you, making frantic hand-gestures, trying to madly piece together how you both ended up as a couple. It doesn't take him long, but by then you're on the floor, wheezing. A slight smile escapes Chan's mouth and he raises his hands in defeat. He lifts a pinky to make Jeongin promise not to tell the other members, a stern look on his face, though you can tell part of him has given up on keeping you both secret.

Smitten!Chan who gasps and almost jumps out of his skin when the door flies open, the lock giving way, and the members tumble into the room in a heap. Minho stands behind them all with his phone filming, and there's a smirk on his face that clearly communicates 'this was my idea'. Chan slaps a palm over his forehead before the both of you are tackled to the floor by the maknaes.

Smitten!Chan who watches Minho's video later with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, cheeks tinging pink at the way you look, giggling and flushed and pretty. He has to turn the video off before tangling himself in the sheets, a grin spreading his face, the rustling of the bed and several excited squeaks the only sounds as a result of his cuteness-aggression.

Smitten!Chan who finally falls asleep with the video still playing, drifting off into sleep with the faint knowledge that he'll have to confront his members tomorrow. No doubt they'll be as loud and excitable as they were tonight, but at least it'll be easier with you by his side. The faint volume of the video's audio plays in the background, and Felix's excitable, disbelieving voice plays in a faint, muted loop in the stillness of the night.

"Hyung, are you in love with Y/n?"

a/n: chan and the colour red just go so well together 🔥

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moon-ttokki-x · 1 month ago

Text

jeongin soft thought #1 . . .

you sigh and burrow into jeongin's side. his breath stirs your hair, making you nuzzle further into the crook of his neck. he tucks you further into him, letting out a soft murmur as he sinks down on the couch. you're both sprawled over each other, some random film you both decided to hate-watch playing blankly in the background. neither of you are watching it; both far too invested in the soft, radiating heat emanating from each other's bodies. you feel a soft kiss land on the top of your head and it makes you giggle. you relish the familiarity of his body against yours, and sitting up, you regard him with half-drooping, sleepy eyes. brushing a strand of dark, unstyled hair from his forehead, you chuckle as he blinks, a shy grin stretching his mouth; a soft, pink crescent, a peek of pearly teeth. he doesn't shift an inch when you lean in to whisper something in his ear. "i'm hungry. can you make me something to eat?"

he rolls his eyes, pokes your side playfully, and gets up. "come on, then. you can sit on the counter while i cook."

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moon-ttokki-x · 3 months ago

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obsessed with noona!9th member reader :0 what if she gets harrassed by a stage invader during a show and end up tearing a calf muscle or something and cant join the boys in performing for a while?

okay damn shit calm down why is this so intense TT . . . interesting request, my anon !! however, ask and you shall receive <3

will i be okay? - ot8!skz x injured!9th member reader

pairing: ot8!skz x injured!9th member reader

summary: when a stage invader injures you in the middle of a performance, skz help you build yourself back up, little by little.

genre: idol!au, 9th member!au, mentions of blood, wounds, bruises, fainting, general medical procedures, mentions of eating and drinking, soft skz all the way :(

a/n: omg it's been so long since i wrote . . . did yall miss me . . . (silence)

skz masterlist

You never saw it coming.

One minute, you were singing the chorus of 'Walking on Water', scrunching your nose and throwing a hand at the audience in passion, and the next, you were thrown face down to the stage floor, feeling the metallic clatter of your mic dully hitting the side of your face.

A throb in your shoulder, the wet feeling of something sliding down your skin. The sickly tang of iron in your mouth, and the incredibly sharp, stabbing pain in your calf.

"Y/n!" the fans had screamed in panic, unheard by you. "Watch out!"

There were screams; several yells, a confused start from one of the members who was singing, and the audience had gone quiet, dissolving into hushed murmurs and worried whispers.

It was Minho who first rushed to your side, almost tipping himself over as he pushed back the strange, dark-haired man who threw a half-hearted kick at your side.

You heard swearing; low and dark, a musty smell coming over your senses, and then the buzz of security as they manhandled the stage invader into the dark wings off the sides of the platform.

Dizzy.

You felt hands; worried hands brushing over your form, the latex gloves of the medical staff, Chan's strained reassurances in your ear as he scanned the stage for any other threats. Vision blurry, you turned your head to the side and saw the boys clustered in a group, Hyunjin and Seungmin calling out to the fans with their hands out, trying to calm them down.

Something wet swiped across the side of your face, cold and dripping against the clammy, salty heat of your cheeks. Shaking, you raised fingers to your face, brushing them lightly against your skin. It felt numb; your fingertips came away as scarlet as the lip gloss you'd put on earlier before the show.

Chan's voice broke through the haze, low and steady. "Breathe, Y/n, you'll be okay. We've got you, you're safe, yeah?"

Then, black.

"Ow- fuck-"

"Almost there," Lia, the JYPE company nurse, cooed at you gently as she pressed a new gauze pad to the wound on your shoulder. "Y/n, you really need to be more careful. It won't heal properly if you keep trying to push yourself before the wound is scabbed over..."

"I wonder how that happened," Minho remarks dryly from the door, hair messy, leaning against the frame. He watches as Lia disposes of bloody tissues in the bin. "Surely it can't be because of a certain Stray Kids member attempting to do a late-night practice on her own."

You scowl. "Shut up."

Felix interjects with a sigh, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "It won't be a long time, noona. Just until it's healed. You need the rest..."

"I'm fine," you insist, standing up and trying to fight the sinking feeling in your chest. "I'm going back to the studio-"

"No, you're not," Minho says firmly. "You're going back to the dorm to rest. You're not leaving until Chan-hyung and I say you're allowed to."

You're about to shoot back in irritation, stubbornly refusing to listen, until your eyes catch Lia's. She gives you a look.

You groan. "Fine."

"I brought you tea," Changbin says quietly from your bedroom door. "Thought it might help."

You sit up as he walks in, and you take the steaming cup from him gratefully. It's soothing, the heat seeping through the porcelain and warming the frozen bones in your fingers.

Your eyes meet his as Changbin sits down on the edge of the bed, running his fingers over the duvet. The purple lights above your headboard bathe him in a soft, violet glow, and part of you feels bad for keeping him up this late.

You feel bad for waking Hyunjin, too. Not that he seemed to mind; he'd just gently chided you as Minho led you back to your dorm with a firm hand on your shoulder, and ruffled your hair as Changbin had helped you settle into bed.

You can hear him clattering about in the kitchen, no doubt searching for a late-night snack. Changbin is clearly used to the noise, because he doesn't blink as Hyunjin swears from the kitchen, whining about not being able to find his chips.

You take a sip of the tea; it's slightly minty, cooling you down even though the liquid is hot. It makes you immediately sleepy, warmth flooding your body and replacing the dull feeling that's been settling itself in your gut for the past few days.

Changbin's eyes flick to yours as you set the cup down on the beside with a clink.

"Tired?" He says softly. His hair is rumpled with sleep.

You shift on the bed, sliding down the pillow. "It's uncomfortable to sleep. I have to keep my leg up all the time."

"It'll be easier once you find the right position," he replies, picking up a pillow from the floor. "Here."

You take it from him and prop your leg up, nestling into the sheets. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"Not at all. I don't think Hyun minded either. Speaking of, did you want something to eat?"

You shake your head quietly, downcast. If Changbin notices, he doesn't say anything, and he gently kisses your crown before closing the bedroom door softly behind himself.

You gnaw at the inside of your cheek. You feel even worse than before you'd tried to sneak out and practice alone. It was just so inconvenient; being harassed by a stage invader in the middle of a performance you'd worked so hard for, and you hadn't even been able to finish it.

Part of you wishes it had been one of the boys who'd gotten hurt. But that thought scares you more than the fact that you're injured, so you chase it out of your head and try to rest.

You fall asleep with the pillow soaked in tears.

"And one- Switch, Jisung to the back, Felix's part, and here, we go-"

Minho's voice rings out loud and clear as he shouts instructions to the members, music blaring out over his tone. You watch in amazement from the side of the studio floor, knees tucked to your chest.

It's common practice for him to shout moves and parts to the boys and you during practices, but the fact that he's dancing effortlessly at the same time makes your jaw drop a little. You can't believe it never occurred to you earlier, the level of breath control and strength he possesses.

He's amazing.

So are the rest of them.

It's been an hour, and none of them show any sign of slowing down. It doesn't matter who you look at, or when; all of them are dancing at full power, giving the routine and song their all, from Jeongin, whose vocals are stable even though he's constantly moving, and Hyunjin, who executes his switch to the back without missing a beat.

Part of you is glad to be able to sit back and watch; the feeling of pride sits in your chest like a warm, happy bubble, especially as your gaze meets the younger members' forms. You can't believe how far they've come.

But something about the way they glance at each other, even slapping each other's butts as they move past and grinning at each other in the mirror between moves tugs sadly at your heart.

You want to be a part of that again.

It's been two weeks, and Chan and Minho still aren't letting up. Neither is your manager, or JYP, no matter how much you nagged at him. Any of them. Lia was also in strong agreement that you rest more, but you've had enough. You want to get up and dance. Sing. Perform with your group members.

You scratch lightly at the sticky bandage on your shoulder. It hasn't come off yet, a miracle, and you sigh as you roll it back and forth, trying to alleviate the sensory feeling of it stuck to your skin. Hopefully you won't end up with a square of skin lighter than the surrounding tanned area once the bandage comes off.

You turn your leg from side to side, flexing the calf muscle gently. It only aches a little, the painful, sharp throb from the first impact a distant memory.

But not any less painful.

"Hey," you hear Chan's voice next to you. "Feeling any better?"

"Fine," you say bitterly, looking away. He's sweaty, the faded scent of cologne and musk washing over you in a soft, familiar wave. He flicks open the top of his electrolyte drink, leaning against the wall behind both of you.

He doesn't seem too upset by your harsh tone; taking a swig of blue liquid and then setting the bottle down, he turns to you. "I know it's hard, Y/nnie-"

"You don't get it, Chan," you snap at him suddenly, upset anger bubbling in your stomach unexpectedly. "You can perform and dance and sing and do everything properly while I'm stuck here, unable to even get up without someone fussing over me. I'm fine, okay? I want to join practices and performances again. I'm sick of this. All of it."

He doesn't blink, eyes softening. And suddenly, as quickly as it appeared, the intense emotion evaporates. It's replaced by the hot, wet feeling of tears sliding down your cheeks.

A calloused thumb reaches out and brushes them away. "I'm sorry, Y/n. It's awful not being able to perform. Trust me, I know." He turns to face you. "But if you keep trying to push yourself before you're healed, the time you have away from activities will only increase."

You sniff. He's right.

"It's just not fair," you whisper.

"No, it's not," Jisung says, sitting down next to you. Like Chan, he's sweaty, and you fight the sad, watery urge to smile as you spot a hint of last night's sparkly stage eyeshadow still smeared across his lids. "But we'd rather you rest safely than go out there injured, and risk getting hurt again, okay? We care about you."

"It's not as fun," Chan admits quietly. "On stage. We miss you. So do the fans. They've been ranting about the stage invader left and right. We're all here to support you, okay?"

You nod and wipe a hand across your eyes. "When can I get back to schedules?"

By now, the rest of the members have come and flopped down near you. You run a hand through Jeongin's damp hair as Seungmin toys with the clip on your leg bandage.

"You're gonna be okay, noona," Felix says softly, leaning his head on Hyunjin's shoulder.

The rest of the members nod eagerly and interject with their own reassurances, and it's all you can do not to cry. You sniff and Chan's hand covers yours in a warm flood of heat.

"Hey," Minho says dryly. "At least you don't have to slave away at the choreography like the rest of us-"

Chan clears his throat. "Minho."

He grins as the rest of the members and you dissolve into giggles.

a/n: i have an exam tomorrow . . .

ttokki's taglist: @emilywhyyy @galaxy4489 @hyuneskkami @justsomekpopstuff @wavetohannie @strayingawayy @its-stayville-forever @sillyseob @wickedbutlovely @headfirstfortoro @lov3yv4mps @possum-playground @bear8585 @astraystayyh @m-325 @gnabnahcbby @mbioooo0000 @akindaflora @tsunderelino @hhwangsmoon @crazyforthatbangchandude @bluebellsringinghereandthere @ladylexis @tillaboo @geni-627 @jsngprk-vhs

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moon-ttokki-x · 3 months ago

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hello 😁 i hope u are good 🫶 can i req something pls? 🙏 i saw ur post abt protective skz with their maknae reader but what abt a protective reader? 😏 who is usually shy, but loses her temper when angry: doesn't take hate lightly, makes sure they eat and rest, unafraid of talking back, ready to fight off anyone, glaring at everyone (it would be cute, but it gets scary when she is mad mad), etc. 🤔

hi this is a cool request~ i bet the boys would have a lot of fun with a scary member who's also really cute >< here you go !!

₊✩‧₊˚౨ ot8!skz x protective fem!reader ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

pairing: ot8!skz x protective fem!reader

summary: how skz would be around a protective ninth member <3

genre: idol!au, 9th member!au, mentions of eating and drinking, chan shaking in his boots lmao

a/n: this aesthetic is so cute . . . div by @huraxy

skz masterlist

usually you're super chill

like kind of shy, really; not the type to shout or mess around like the guys do

most of the time, you're by felix or minho's side

because they're the least chaotic members of the group (most of the time anyway)

and it's just nice to be all quiet and observant from behind their shoulders

they know you're kind of shy, but oh man, wait til you get mad

even the maknaes shut up instantly when you raise your voice

bc you mean BUSINESS

doesn't matter how short you are you'll fight anyone within a certain distance

including chan (crazy right?)

who is also scared of your temper, even if it doesn't show up that often

which is why it's so terrifying when your voice booms through the studio or recording room, louder than thunder

everyone just keeps their head down and listens to you

hyung line is secretly so jealous of your commanding aura

after you're done shouting you just kind of go back to your normal shy demeanour, or leave the room

and everyone's just left shaking in their boots like

what the fuck??

you don't get angry often, and it's always for a valid reason, so they get it

stay knows that too; you've told interviewers and tv show hosts and even mnet staff to back off or stop being rude

you can make anyone listen; no one expects the shy little member to have the strongest voice

same with rude 'fans'

they don't always listen but most of them have a very healthy respect for your emotions

you're always making sure skz takes care of themselves too

especially the members who tend to overwork or get distressed easily

you always make sure to chase them up and give them something to eat

or tell them to go and drink water

or you just hold a fistful of their hair firmly (without hurting them) and watch them actually ingest food

they always give you pouty eyes but you never give in

you're just hardcore like that

and you don't let them go until they've swallowed the last mouthful

when you guys go out to eat, you're the person always heaping food on their plates

'eat eat you EAT'

bc i know these mfs forget to nourish themselves properly

so it's nice to have you take care of them

especially the younger ones

they do the same for you too, but they wouldn't dare touch your hair

they're too scared to in fear of messing it up and irritating you

the sassier ones like minho and seungmin are amazed at how much you talk back

like it's insane

chan schedules extra practice? "i don't want to, we already have so much to do"

hyunjin wants to have his vocal lesson before yours? "i scheduled mine earlier so you should have done the same"

you're just an absolute lion

sometimes you have to get told off because you're getting too sassy

but the boys can't help but take it easy on you

you're just so cute

even if you act like a demon from the underworld

oh well

but

even your gaze is scary

the boys often find themselves jumpscared

like they'll walk into a room and you're just sitting there like >:|

like an owl

you know how they have big wide eyes that stare into your soul?

your gaze is like that

felix jokes that you could burn lasers with how intense your stare is

it even looks intense when you're just sitting having a great time

in dead silence

the members don't mind though, whatever makes you happy makes them happy too !!

they get used to your little habits, and they all work around your demeanour

you're all one big happy group <3

a/n: okay maybe i wrote headcanons because i don't have the motivation nor the energy to write a full fic . . . oh well

send a dm, comment under the taglist post, or send an ask to be added !

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moon-ttokki-x · 4 months ago

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HIII MY LOVE

i was just wondering if you could do something with a foreigner!reader, who doesn’t speak korean, with han?? where they have a hard time communicating but they still wanna be together??

(btw if you have anons can i be 🪻??)

hi, love~ this was so cute, really interesting to write . this took a while but it was so worth it hehe . yes you can, my first emoji anon yayy . here you go~~

i want to understand you - (han jisung x female!reader)

pairing: idol!han jisung x female!reader

summary: the language barrier between you and jisung stops your true feelings from being communicated.

genre: angsty but happy ending, idol!au, reader is a stylist, mentions of injuries, blood, cuts, bandages, antiseptics, broken glass, jisung doesn't like being injured, chan's iconic smirk comeback, hints to chanlix and minsung, mentions of wrestling, kissing, nothing too intense i promise

a/n: this is one of my fav fics that i've written tbh . everything in bold + italic is spoken in korean. just a note !

skz masterlist

"How long have you been watching him?" Felix whispers into your ear.

"Huh?"

He smirks, nodding his head towards Jisung, who's currently messing about on set with Minho. "You've been watching him."

You scoff and push him away. "No, I haven't."

"Yes, you have."

Groaning, you brush past Felix and wander past the cameras to the other side of the MV set. It's almost midday; the sun beats down relentlessly on the pavements outside, bathing everything in a bright glow, but inside the warehouse, the lights are dimmed in shades of red, green and white, casting an eerie palette over the broken glass and haphazard items scattered about the dusty floor.

Your eyes wander to one of the camera tripods; 'ESCAPE FILMING' is written on a piece of masking tape and stuck to the side. Your gaze flits to Chan and Hyunjin; both of them are raggedy, slender figures in heavy coats and coarse clothing. They're busy talking to their manager; you duck off to the side and run straight into Felix again.

You groan. "Go away."

"Come on," he murmurs. "Go talk to him."

It's been almost a month since you took the job as a stylist with JYPE; it had been interesting, to say the least. The members took to you immediately, teasing and friendly within a couple of days. You were in awe; they were such professionals you'd been assigned to work around, but one of them had caught your eye.

Jisung.

You feel your cheeks warm as you watch him; Felix is motionless beside you, no doubt smirking, but your heart sinks as you hear the distant lilt of excitable Korean floating over the set to your ears.

"Y/n, go," Felix insists. "Talk to him."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" You whip around to face him. "I don't speak Korean, and he doesn't know enough English to be fluent in a conversation with me."

"He sings in English," Felix points out, adjusting the cuff of his hoodie. His black cap- Chan's cap- sits low on his head.

"That's because he has you and Chan to help him." You groan.

This would be so much easier if the rest of the members weren't here. You wonder what they're here for, anyway; they said they came to support Chan and Hyunjin while they filmed their music video, but you have a sneaking suspicion it was just to get out of an extra dance practice Chan scheduled for the remaining members while he was away. No doubt the maknaes' idea.

You'd fought to stay focused on doing Hyunjin's makeup that same morning; he hadn't missed the way your hand shook around your eyeshadow brush when Jisung had breezed in with a cheerful shout. If Hyunjin had noticed, he hadn't said anything, and the resulting makeup look had thankfully turned out just fine.

"Y/n."

You whip around so fast your neck hurts, and you almost trip over your own feet as you come face-to-face with Jisung. He's dressed casually, as most of the members are; his grey zip hoodie is slightly dusty, loose black jeans showing a peek of startingly white shoes beneath their hems.

His face is bare, void of makeup, and you can see the healthy pink flush on his cheekbones and the tip of his nose. His lashes blink away strands of un-styled, dark hair falling into his face; he sweeps it back effortlessly with two fingers, and his wide eyes fix themselves onto your own, a cheerful grin painting his lips.

You look around wildly for Felix to save you; he's conveniently disappeared into thin air, and you curse inwardly as you're forced to face Jisung once more. There's nowhere to run.

"Hi." Your voice sounds thin and awkward.

"Hi." He replies, an equally awkward but adorable smile curving his mouth further. Even the simple syllable sounds odd and unfamiliar to him, it seems. Tinged with his accent, the sound coming out of his mouth looks like he tasted something unusual; new and curious, but strange.

Foreign.

You stutter, unable to comprise a singular sentence. Even if you were able to at the moment, it's unlikely Jisung will understand. The past few interactions with him have shown you that.

You try anyway. "Did you need something?"

He blinks. Takes apart each word in his mind, turns his cognitive gears, and a dawning sense of confusion appears on his face despite the effort to understand. "Chan-hyung ruined his makeup again. He's busy with his outfit, but he sent me to ask you if you could quickly touch it up for him? If you're not busy..."

You're running, sprinting even, to keep up with Jisung's rapid pace of speaking. Korean tumbles out of his mouth in a smooth waterfall, each word naturally clicking into place like pieces of a puzzle.

For you, though, it's like looking at the completed picture upside down. It just doesn't make sense, and you can't tell what's he's asking by his tone like you have before.

"Chan?" You say, questioning. It was the only word you caught.

He nods once, then faster. "His makeup." He points to his leader, a distance away, who is redoing his belt and pulling on his coarse jacket for the next scene.

Jisung points to Chan again, then to his own face. He points to the crossbody bag across your waist, full of your stylist tools, and mimes swiping a brush across his cheeks.

"Oh," you say. "His makeup?"

Jisung nods frantically. You fight a smile; makeup and snacks are the only English words he seems to understand at the moment. Couldn't say you wouldn't have been the same way.

You nod once to him and awkwardly brush past him to go to Chan.

Jisung watches you go.

Chan turns round as you approach, bowing sheepishly as you pull several brushes and a chrome palette from your bag.

"Sorry for ruining it," he says as he closes his eyes. You chuckle and redo the look with a few simple strokes, and step back to make sure it's neat. You swipe a pinky across his cheekbone to remove any excess. "I saw you and Jisung talking."

You sigh. "Wasn't really talking. More..."

"Confusion?" Chan offers with a smile.

You poke him in the side and he shies away, grinning. "How long were you watching us?"

He shrugs casually, looking away. "The whole time."

You groan, cheeks flushing as he laughs. "I wish I could speak Korean fluently... Learning it takes so long, and there aren't any translating apps I can use on a day-to-day basis."

Chan does look at you then, expression empathetic. "I know it's inconvenient, Y/n, but you're making progress. Just keep at it, and while you and Jisung are both learning each other's languages, it'll become easier to communicate over time."

You look towards Jisung, who's currently reenacting the wrestling scene with Seungmin. Rapid, unfamiliar words tumble from the members' mouths at the speed of light as they laugh and clap, and you smile as Jisung emerges from underneath Seungmin with his dark hair covered in feathers.

You sigh. "I hope so."

Chan sighs, touching your shoulder in reassurance. Looking past you, he gazes fondly over the seven members, unaware of you both watching them, and chuckles. "I thought Hyunjin and I were gonna get this music video filming done fast, but... apparently not."

You smile. "I don't think they were too fond of having to do extra practice while you were away."

Chan rolls his eyes and you laugh as he runs a hand through his hair, mussing it further. There's a yelp from behind you, and Chan whips around, faster than lightning. The members have gone silent.

You're both just in time to see Jisung fall off the mattress. His hand scrapes awkwardly along the floor, where tiny fragments of glass from the stunt filming earlier scatter throughout the dust. A deep red line opens up along his forearm, and Chan swears before dashing to his side.

You come up behind Felix, calling to one of the crew members to find a tissue and water as Chan sits Jisung down properly on the mattress, brushing aside feathers.

"Are you okay?" Chan asks in worry, cradling his member's hand.

Jisung winces as a wet rivulet of blood drops onto the floor. The rest of the boys burst into concerned murmurs, jostling to see. You push past Minho with a pack of tissues, handing them to Chan. Cracking open the top of a water bottle, you dampen the centre of a folded piece of tissue and dab it gently along Jisung's forearm. He groans and attempts to pull away, but his leader holds his arm firmly, murmuring reassurance.

"There's a spare room down one of the warehouse corridors," you say to Chan. "I went there earlier to set my things up. There's a first aid kit in there."

"Is there no one on set with one already?" He says, strained. You bite your lip and look to the crew, who all look away, seemingly distracted.

Chan actually growls then, making you recoil, and mutters something that might have either been a string of expletives or a complaint about crew disorganisation.

You suppose his reaction is justified either way.

Folding the water-damp, bloodied tissue, you tuck it into your pocket and stand up. "I can take him to the room there and clean the cut," you offer. "Might be easier without all the glass around."

Chan nods, holding a hand to Jisung to stand up. "I can come with both of you-"

"No," you say firmly. "Focus on filming with Hyunjin. It's getting late and I know both of you want to be done with it. I'll take care of him."

Chan bites his lip in anxiety, clearly struggling to make the decision between staying on set and going with Jisung, but Hyunjin puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Let's get the rest of the shots done, Chan-hyung," he says. "Y/n is more than capable of taking care of the injury."

You blink, not understanding, but it seems to be enough to reassure Chan, who nods and turns away. Hyunjin follows him, and the rest of the members meekly disperse behind the cameras, far quieter than before.

You wind between crew members and filming equipment before heading down the main back corridor of the warehouse, where a spare room splits off into four smaller rooms down the way. Heading into the second door on the right, you hold the door open for Jisung before pulling out the first aid kit from a duffel bag.

You point to a chair as he closes the door. The metal of the knob is scarlet as he lets go. "Sit."

He sits and you place the kit on the cabinet, unzipping a pouch and pulling out a bandage, an antiseptic wipe, and another pack of tissues. Trying to ignore your hands shaking as you do so, you feel your cheeks warm as Jisung shuffles on the chair, a muffled disturbance in the sudden stillness of the room.

You're alone with him.

Biting your lip in an all-too-aware consciousness of the situation, you pull a chair to sit next to him, setting down the items on the plastic table. He rests his arm on the surface as you rip open the antiseptic packet, and then pause.

Gingerly, you place a light hand on his wrist and pull his forearm closer to you, beginning to gently swipe the wet wipe across the cut. A faint smell of chemical rises in the air, and Jisung discreetly exhales, making you crack a tiny smile.

His forearm is tense; you can see the stress of the situation, visible in his body language. The wipe clearly stings him, becoming redder by the minute. He lets out a tiny start, obviously fighting to keep quiet.

You can see him beginning to squirm, his bottom lip caught flush between his teeth as he chews on it in distress.

"Jisung," you say softly, pausing the cleaning to give him a break. "It's okay. You're doing well."

He doesn't respond, focused on the wound. Then, taking a deep breath, his wide eyes meet yours and he gives a tiny nod, signalling for you to continue.

You've cleaned about half of the injury's surrounding area; feeling unbelievably bold, you stroke a gentle thumb across the inside of his wrist as you swipe scarlet off his bare skin, attempting to calm him. He relaxes suddenly, and the exhale of a deeply-held breath fans lightly across your face, stirring your hair. It does nothing to cool the tension building between the both of you.

You fumble to stuff the used, damp wipe back into the packet. Jisung's eyes follow you intently; he seems to have recovered from the initial shock of injury.

He watches curiously as you tilt your head to the side, inspecting the cut, before unravelling a length of a clean rolled bandage. You lay it flat on the clean table before unwrapping four sheets of fluffy gauze, laying it on top. You undo the top off of a small tube of ointment.

"What's that?" He says.

There's a clear question in his tone; taking a wild guess, you hold up the tube. He nods.

"This? Ointment. It's to keep the wound moist," you reply. You're not sure why you bothered; he doesn't understand it anyway, and he just nods politely before continuing to gaze at the tube, most likely attempting to piece its use together in his head.

You let out a tiny sigh, almost fuming at the inconvenience of it all. You want to talk to him, understand him. But you keep quiet, clamp it down, and continue to smear the cream gently across the wound edges with a finger.

He's no longer watching the application of the cream, though; his gaze is fixed intently on your face, as if he's trying to see through you to the other side of the room. You know he's watching; you can feel his eyes burning into you, and you bite the inside of your cheek, attempting to keep composure.

"Y/n," he says softly.

You gulp and look up, pausing your ministrations. He tilts his head to the side, a strange look taking over his features. It's no secret to either of you that you can't understand the other; it seemed to you that Jisung was just never as bothered by the language barrier as you were.

Apparently not.

"Thank you for taking care of me," he says simply. Taking a deep breath, he hopes inwardly that you haven't learnt too much Korean yet, and continues to talk. "I wish I could speak more English, enough for us to communicate. I'm sorry I never told you that before. I know it makes you sad."

Silence.

"I don't know what you're saying," you murmur softly, a look of longing and resignation taking over your expression.

"I don't understand you."

You lean one hand under your head. "I wish we could communicate."

"I wish we could talk properly... This is so frustrating."

Sighing and giving up completely, you tap his wrist, and he brings it closer to you so you can wrap the injury. Delicately placing the gauze sheets along the cut, you begin to firmly wrap the bandage around his forearm, taking care not to cut off his circulation in the process. Securing the bandage with a clip, you stand and begin to dispose of the packets and tissues.

Jisung stands too, unsure, like he's waiting for direction. He opens his mouth to say something, but your thoughts are beginning to run away with you, and you speak them aloud before he has a chance to say anything.

"I wonder what things would have been like if we both spoke the same language." You throw the packets in the bin.

Jisung seems to be lost in his own thoughts too. "Maybe I could ask one of my hyungs to teach me English... or Hyunjin! He knows English too! He might be able to help..."

Yet again, the names of one of his members is the only word you can recognise amongst his rapid-fire speech.

"Hyunjin?" You say. "What about him? Did- should I go get him?" You groan in exasperation and throw your hands out, knocking the ointment off the cabinet from where you've just set it down. "What are you asking for?"

"Sorry, I don't know what you're upset about, but maybe I can ask Chan-hyung and Hyunjin for advice on what to do... Unless you've already talked to them..."

"I bet you'd sound so different talking in English," you're beginning to fume, and you feel bad, because none of this is Jisung's fault. He's Korean, he speaks it, so why are you getting so upset about not being able to communicate through the same language?

Both of you are practically talking to yourselves now; Jisung is clearly lost on another planet, seemingly recovered from the injury. You're beginning to feel yourself sink, no longer nervous around him. Now, you just feel a desperate longing.

To talk. Actually talk.

"Changbin-hyung told me that you don't speak much Korean, but maybe I could teach you? Ah, that wouldn't work, because I'd have to teach you in English first..."

You bite your lip. A dangerous thought crosses your conscience; you could just tell him. About how you feel. He might not even know what you're talking about. He probably won't.

Hopefully.

You decide to risk it. Even if he does understand, you can easily play it off as a translating mistake on his part. No worries.

"Jisung," you say cautiously.

He snaps out of his endless train of thought, and locks his gaze with yours. Like a soldier called to attention.

"Y/n," he says cheekily, though you can see his confident demeanour faltering.

"I really want to be able to talk with you," you continue. "Properly. But maybe it's a good thing we can't understand each other. I can say I love you without you understanding... Gosh, Hyunjin would have a field day making fun of us idiots. Not being able to communicate..."

Jisung blinks. Once. Twice. You see the flutter of his lashes, the cogs turning in his head, and then, very hesitantly, he steps closer. Like you're a wild animal he's trying not to spook.

You take a step back. He takes another forward.

So you step back again. Your back hits the cabinet.

Shit.

Jisung cocks his head; he looks exactly like his quokka counterpart. You blink as he frowns suddenly, then presses his hands together, slipping his fingers in a pattern over the newly wrapped bandage on his forearm.

Around and around and around. And then-

"You love Hyunjin?" Even without understanding, his tone is incredulous. Disbelieving.

"What about Hyunjin?" You say in confusion. "Clearly I've done something wrong, as your tone is telling me, but what does he have to do with it?"

Jisung groans, frustrated. "All this time. I was so happy you came to help me... I thought there might have been something between you and me, but you were just being helpful. Hyunjin, of all people."

You huff. "You keep saying 'Hyunjin' and yet, I still have no idea what you're saying."

Jisung scoffs. "Okay, relax! You don't need to keep talking about how much you love him! I get it... Damn, I'm stupid."

"...Well, you stopped saying his name, but I still don't know what you're talking about, Jisung."

"I wish I could understand you, Y/n."

"I wish you loved me."

"I want to know you. I would never let anyone hurt you, ever... But clearly, I'm not fit for it... I can't even put together a sentence in your language. How am I supposed to love you when I can't even do that?"

Your voices are rising at this point, swelling to fit the room. They mix in the air and rain down in shards, sparkling shards of glass that seem to hurt more than Jisung's forearm injury did.

Every glittering remnant makes your eyes sting until you feel a salty wetness coating your cheeks. The frustration is spilling out of you, the unfairness and utter inconvenience of it all drowning you in tumultuous, crashing waves until you are swept under the dark, powerful current, falling and falling and clawing upwards to air, to breathe, to him, but it doesn't work.

"Why can't things just be easy for once?" You cry out at him. He jolts, taken aback. "I just want to love someone, and here you are, yet I can't even tell you that I love you. I love you, Jisung, and you'll never, ever understand, and it's all my fault because I don't know any Korean enough to talk to you."

He's frozen. Pale as a ghost. And then the colour rises so fast to his face that you step forward, afraid that he might collapse or pass out or experience some other type of wildly unexpected medical occurrence that would probably make your current situation even more upsetting than it already is. If that's even possible.

"Me?" He says. His voice is shaky, strained. "You love me? Not Hyunjin?"

"Fuck, Jisung, this has nothing to do with Hyunjin. Forget about him, I'm talking about you. You might as well know since we can't fucking communicate. Do you even know what I just said, or do I just sound like an angry chicken?"

A look of understanding begins to dawn incredibly slowly on his face. He points to himself, in disbelief but still rather unsure about what you're saying. "Me?"

"Yes, you, you absolute idiot. Shit."

Jisung looks at his hands, then points to himself. He cups his hands and shakily rearranges his fingers, making a comical depiction of a heart. "You?"

"That is the most shit heart I've ever seen you make," you huff. You point to yourself, dramatically enunciating as if he was a child unable to understand anything more than the colour of the sky.

"I." You jab a finger repetitively into your chest.

"Love.." You make a heart, bending your index fingers and pushing your hands towards him. Like he could just take your love the way something might take a glass of water offered to them.

"You," you stab a finger in the air again and again, pointing to him. There's no way he's confused now.

He's still standing there, eyebrows raised, confused and in disbelief. Your mind whirrs.

How can I possibly make this any clearer? I don't know what else I'm supposed to do now... Maybe I should just brush it off and give up. The others must be wondering where we are. Hey, I bet Chan and Hyunjin are finally done filming-

Jisung's mouth crashes desperately onto yours.

Your back throbs as it's pressed against the cabinet; his chest bumps yours and your hands fly to his shoulders, clutching him as if you're drowning. A gasp slips out of your mouth before it's swallowed up; Jisung tilts his head and it's all you can do not to let your knees buckle under him.

You can feel his hair tickling your forehead as he gulps in half a breath of air, so soft, so impossibly soft, like pinfeathers under your fingers just as you'd imagined it to be. You tug him back in, gripping the neckline of his hoodie, trying to make him realise, trying to communicate everything you've been saying without saying anything at all.

He doesn't seem to care about the injury on his arm anymore, and one hand moves to cradle the back of your head, pulling you impossibly closer. He's not just kissing you, he's pouring thousands upon thousands of words into you, words he can't ever hope to tell you and words you won't ever understand.

But you do understand.

He pulls back, gasping. Your foreheads bump clumsily against each other's and he holds you fast, panting.

"Jisung," you gasp.

"Y/n," he replies breathlessly. "I love you. I love you."

You finally have some clue as to what he's saying. "I love you too."

He nods frantically, his nose brushing your cheek as he nuzzles into your neck, so hard it almost hurts. But you can't find it in yourself to care, returning the crushing affection with as much strength as you can muster, fuelled by relief and love and irrevocable joy and Jisung.

The hasty explanation of your feelings all this time evaporates off your tongue, burning into ash. You sweep it into a corner of your mind and dust the rest off Jisung's shoulders.

Chan clears his throat.

Both you and Jisung spring apart as if burned. Chan stands in the doorway, arms crossed as he leans against the frame. There's a delighted smirk painted across his face, the remainder of his dark, raw makeup smudged and faded. There's a feather in his hair, and he regards the two of you with a cool stare.

"So," he says slowly, clearly fighting the urge to tease. He speaks in English and Korean, so that both of you can understand.

Chan adjusts his coarse jacket. "Did you two finally manage to communicate? Did you finally manage to talk properly?"

Jisung grins.

a/n: div by @aquazero

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