#( plus some other small stuff. fixing links and tags and such )
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
rpgvrai · 2 years ago
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( also! before i can even think about restarting this blog proper there’s some major housekeeping that needs to be done first and has needed to be done for like two years so! we’ll start there :] )
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soullessjack · 28 days ago
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i don’t ever make posts like this but i’m in a bit of. i guess it qualifies as financial trouble? and i really don’t know what else to do. before i say anything else, i want to disclaim that I do live at home and this problem is not something that my basic survival hinges on. i don’t want to give the wrong idea or worry anyone unnecessarily.
to keep it short, the job I’ve had for two years cut hours for almost everyone back in like, April or so, because of some building renovations in September. they basically want everyone relocated or otherwise on a fixed schedule over the summer, and in my case my hours have gone from three days a week plus every-other-weekend to one day a week and every other weekend—and even my weekend days are rotated out sometimes—so I’m pretty much never there. after a few months of job searching i recently got a second job that scheduled me Wednesdays through Sundays with tips and biweekly pay, as opposed to my first job where the pay is weekly and tips qualify as “special treatment” that isn’t allowed because retirement home rules I guess.
but you can see how hour cuts and hardly being there would mean my weekly paychecks are pretty small. and unfortunately, in the past few weeks my car has had a LOT of issues. i don’t want to be overly detailed but let’s say, it’s pretty old; my dad bought it from my grandparents years ago and handed it down to me when I got my license this past February. as far as I’ve had it, the problems started in March with a mostly-resolved oil leak and now I’ve had to deal with the engine overheating, a slow water/coolant leak, and something wrong with the battery/oil that I honestly don’t know what it could be. we scheduled it for a mechanic last week before our vacation, took it there Tuesday morning, and picked it up today.
the last update I got from the mechanic pretty much said it was fine and the test drive went well, but just this morning when I tried to drive it back a lot of things went wrong, like scarily wrong in my humble post-meltdown opinion, and it’s now my dad’s consensus that it’s through for good. since it’s old we always expected it to go out someday and for me to save up for another but:
TLDR, I just straight up don’t have a car or means of (1) transportation to my second job because of the distance and my parents’ own schedules conflicting; Ubers and Lyfts from my house are extremely expensive as it is because we’re more ‘rural’ and with a 30-some minute drive back and forth it simply costs money that I don’t have, and (2) saving up for a new car. one thing requires the other, you know how it goes. the first job is closer, more convenient for both my parents and Ubers (they tend to be slightly cheaper around there thankfully) but again, I already work very few hours, and the schedules can’t be flexed to just fit me on if I’m not already there anymore unfortunately. without my second job I’m not making any extra cash outside of the first.
but in the meantime, I’d like to try and open up art commissions as some kind of way to get by. i don’t really have much of a presence online with my art as it is and, frankly, a bad combination of things have contributed to some skill regression with me. I’m not churning out masterpieces, basically. if you need any reference, my art blog is @badcombo and my *new* art instagram is _badcombo_ (after my main account got hacked lol). there’s also a few pieces scattered around this blog under my #calscribbles tag.
i’ll try and get a proper sheet and payment stuff up done at some point but in all honesty i have very little faith in this working. i truly appreciate any interest or boosting, and of course there’s no pressure if you don’t have the money.
thank you <3
i will add a link to this in my pinned post for a smidge of extra engagement, also.
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mathmusic8 · 1 year ago
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20 Questions for Writers
Thanks for the tag @musewrangler!
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 17
2. What's your total AO3 word count?  395,117
3. What fandoms do you write for? 
Aside from random one-shots, mostly Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Star Wars, but I have some Lego Monkie Kid things coming up :D
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Lost and Found – Fives and Kix (Star Wars)
Only Partially Applied (Star Wars)
Wow, What a Coincidence (TMNT)
WWAC Extras (TMNT)
Ice Cream Makes Everything Better (TMNT)
5. Do you respond to comments?
I try to! I have a small pile I’m meaning to get to tho haha
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
At the moment, probably Only Partially Applied, mostly because it’s an angsty fic and I don’t know if I’ll come back to finish it
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Probably a tie between Lost and Found and WWAC. If I had to choose I’d say Lost and Found, being a Star Wars fix-it/happiness AU and all. WWAC had more of a build-up to the happy ending, though, while Lost and Found it was kind of fun last-second twist
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not really
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Nope.
10. Do you write crossovers?
I have a few crossover once-shots, plus WWAC if you count multiple iterations of tmnt as crossovers.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Don’t think so
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not really? Not a fan fic, at least—I collaborated with friends for some original fics when we were kids. Lately I’ll talk through ideas and have a couple of shared AUs with a few select people, but those haven’t been fully written or shared yet.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
I’m not a super shippy person. Some ships are done well, but it’s not generally what I look for when I’m reading or writing. The last shippy stuff I read and liked was Zelda and Link (Twilight Princess, Breath of the Wild, and Tears of the Kingdom), but I’m not a die-hard on any of them.
For example, probably my favorite romcom fic I’ve ever read was TP Link and Zelda, but I’d love to see TP Link with Ilia in a healthy relationship that doesn’t end in tragedy (not sure why the fandom keeps doing that to them). I haven’t found a fic like that yet, though, and I don’t care enough to write my own.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Ahhh Only Partially Applied my poor child. You deserved better. Also the Lost and Found sequel. There wasn’t a ton of plot, but I had a few concepts I’d hoped to put out there (like a little Omega/Cal Kestis action).
16. What are your writing strengths?
Convoluted plots. Also maintaining a character’s individual voice and motivations. I want to say dialog, but it really depends on the day for me.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Exposition. Filler scenes and stuff that helps a fic feel more like a full and complete story when it’s done right. Some of my favorite fics to read are slowburns that do this extremely well, but I tend to get impatient and rush things when I write.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I used to be all over it when I was a kid, but after seeing it from others, I realized it’s not my favorite thing to read unless it’s handled a certain way, like including certain words for multi-lingual characters to add to realism, or entire sentences to show that the main character (and audience) aren’t expected to recognize what a certain character is saying. Things like that. As a writer I personally avoid it now.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
On AO3? Undertale. First ever? My Little Pony, I guess? I hadn’t even seen the show, just played with the toys and started writing stories about them, if that counts.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Ooo probably Lost and Found. It was my first long fic, and written in a frenzy of inspiration without a super firm plan beforehand. I was super burned out by the end, but it was a ton of fun and I gained a lot of friends along the way.
Have to give WWAC a shoutout, though. It was longer, actually planned out, and had a Dracula-Daily style posting schedule that made last-minute chapters super rushed, but it was an absolute joy to write, and I hope to continue the story a bit further.
If you read this far, consider yourself tagged!
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afracturedexistence · 8 months ago
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All righty, so, I’ve thrown up a new theme. There’s a few reasons for that.
On a side note real quick: I am aware that certain reblogged posts don’t show up correctly on the theme. It’s something to do with the old legacy editor posts and the new ones and the majority of my threads are on that old format. I’ll look into poking the theme author and seeing if there’s a way of fixing that but most modern themes are this way so I can’t be assed anymore to deal with it. Plus, the tumblr.com/(blogurl)/(tag) works for the most part. Anyway –
I don’t want this to be a giant surprise so I’m throwing it out there now that I plan on making some changes to the blog and how things are handled. If we’ve already interacted and been established and stuff, absolutely nothing will change. If we are not established in-character, things might be a bit different but I wouldn’t worry about it being too crazy if you’re already following and paying attention to this blog.
What will be changing for everyone is the way I progress things here. Except in the very beginning when I was still conceptualizing this guy, I’ve always been moving a story along. It’s a very big story that has had some progression over this last decade, but in the past, idk, five years or so I’ve gotten just about nothing done with it. Part of that is the franchise’s own lack of doing anything, part of it’s my own ass just having been sat here, part of it’s the shift in the RPC from way back when, part of it’s how I’ve been working on an unrelated fic and that’s a big part, I think. Well, and some other things.
But ultimately what’s going to happen is that, as the new side bar says, big main story events are going to generally be happening in the form of blog updates. I already do some of those under the soloupdates tag, so it’ll be more of that. But that ‘big part’ thing – I’ve been writing a fic for a few years now. It’s a neat little fall-from-grace story that’s moving slowly due to reasons, but without going into detail about it, working on that story and working on my mental health, I’ve become more of a writer than RPer. There’s a lot of reasoning for that, but ultimately it’s something I’ve been enjoying just… writing something. That’s something I really enjoy and RP just doesn’t quite scratch the itch anymore. I could wager a number of guesses as to why but that’s unimportant. What is is that I’ve enjoyed it and it’s a fantastic way of progressing the story I have and that’s the big thing – I really want to work on this story. Not doing anything with it has hurt more than I recognised and I am really wanting to get invested in this and the world I’ll be building around it. That’s the long and short of it ‘cause I don’t wanna be spoiling too much.
But while writing this it also occurs to me that if I’m posting stuff on AO3, there’s not much point in not linking my profile over there in case you wanna check out what’s there as is.
I don’t plan on moving things along super fast. I want things to breathe, I want to write on my own pace as I do, and I still plan on prioritizing the other story. This means there will absolutely be an ebb and flow of story and plot here but it shouldn’t be disruptive. I also still plan on including others in plot points where applicable and allowing stories in RPs to happen naturally as they do because that’s how I roll.
I do also still need to set up some new page(s) and alter existing ones to better fit this. I’ve also just been wanting to redo Meph and Iblis’ information pages just because, get a new page or few up that help support this new format, that stuff. Idk I might just redo all pages from scratch.
This is also my last weekend before moving, so I’m packing stuff to ship off and then getting on a flight and all that good stuff. It’s not a small move. It’s not a small change. It won’t really affect anything much here but it is just a heads up for those who don’t follow either of my other two blogs or in case you expected me to immediately get to work on stuff here. Nah. I’m just noticing that I didn’t feel like waiting until New Years to change the theme and start making adjustments, haha.
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lunaxlee · 1 year ago
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status update may 15
Hii sorry that I've been inconsistent in posting/inactive. I've been dealing with college and have been sick, plus the wifi is shit here so there's only a small window in which I can use my pc to post.
I have been posting though and in general doing stuff. Here's what I've been doing:
did a bot event themed around dark romance/dead dove (event by the Janitor Creator server). I currently have six from this event posted (plus one bot i made before it) so I shall be posting soon
looking into putting all my bots' initial messages into a rentry doc so I can place a link to their initial message in the bot descriptions. because i know that some people would want to see the initial message first before starting a chat. atm i have 91 bots tho! so it's gonna take a while lol
created a Discord server where I and other creators can share bots with the Dead Dove Do Not Eat tag. If you want to join, here's an invite link
I'd also like to note that JanitorAI is currently experiencing issues right now so if you're seeing very low numbers on my bots it's because of that! Got worried too lol but it's getting fixed
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yuzu-balignon · 2 years ago
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Collections testing phase feedback
Good timezone fine folks !
I figured it was time to send you feedback about my use of collections over the last two weeks. It will of course not be exhaustive and I might come back to add more at a future time. I will cover what I liked the most about it, intended vs emergent uses, and finally some enhancements and suggestions.
Key takeaways
I’ll go into everything into more details. But in my opinion, Collections are a formidable tool, perfectly in line with the Tumblr spirit, and get excited about content on the platform. However, I think they are hard to leverage to advertise Tumblr at medium and large scale.
Overall it’s a great feature with plenty of fun and useful potential, although possibly not for what was envisioned.
1. Overall experience - Highlights
First, setting aside technical considerations : the whole thing is performant and easy to navigate and pretty instinctive. It is well designed and engineered, and integrate smoothly with the rest of Tumblr’s ecosystem. Well done !
I really like that you can mix tags and blogs, it really brings variety to a collection. Although correct me if I’m wrong, it seems that blogs are kinda prioritized over tags ? I’m uncertain about that.
The grid view !!! Listen this is one of my favourite features on Tumblr. I think it allow to grasp the incredible variety of Tumblr in just a glimpse. The option should be everywhere, even on the dash tmho. If you even care.
Back on track, here are other things I like : customisation (picture, description), the explain popup when you share to another user, the random ids to prevent accidental discovery. The fact that tags from the collection are highlighted ! All of this comes together and make me say “yeah I understand why I see that, and why it is relevant to me”
2. Intended VS emergent use
Here I must say I am under an assumption : one of the goal of the feature is to boost Tumblr’s attractivity for non-users, by showcasing them user-curated content. This assumption is based on the labs post (this one), specifically the parts that say “Focus on introducing people [...] or recommending stuff” “think of who you would send […] to”. I understand that this is not the only purpose of the feature, but I tried to pay attention to this during my tests.
What Collections were very good for
Making yourself custom lists of blogs / even tag packs, ie custom timelines. Useful for “curating Tumblr around my many interests”, as said in the above post
Showcasing individual friends : by targeting specifically their interests, I had a few friends consider signing up for Tumblr. Not sure if they will but they were delighted
What Collections were not very good for
Keep up to date with <thing>. Now big grain of salt I should probably test this more, plus it may not be related to collections but to tag indexing, etc etc. But it felt like latest posts were not displayed on Collections, even though they were showing on tag pages
Showcase Tumblr to a group of people. If you don’t have an audience around a very specific topic, I find it hard to make it broad and interesting at the same time. My opinion is that Collections are not the ideal tool for that
To sum it up : I don’t think Collections are a scalable social tool. They work really well for targeted, personalised uses (you, a friend, a small group of people)
It could work if you already have a big platform on another media. (I planned to use it for a fandom event I’m hosting on Twitter+Tumblr, but since it seemed not up to date enough I postponed posting the link)
3. Enhancements
Here are some thoughts I had while using Collections. I know that some of these are already in the pipeline, but hey that's free validation :)
Fixes
Nothing more than what I already reported ! Maybe the up-to-date part, but I’m not confident enough to call it a bug, maybe just a lack of understanding
Must have / MLP
A save button, to quickly access a collection made by somebody else (because you may not want to follow all these people)
A way to quickly access it from your dash : either a list in the sidebar (like the sideblog list) or as a tab like “For you” and “your tags”
Nice to have
A clone button, so you can create a copy and edit it quickly
A report button, for collections with harmful content (e.g. it could be used to make easier to find illegal content on Tumblr)
A page/article/tooltip to explain a bit what is in a collection mix. Are tags or blogs prioritised ? Is it fully chronological & exhaustive ? It kinda lack transparency on this point
Ideas
If the goal is “showcase cool content to outside”, then maybe a static collection of posts would be more fitted for 100% predictability. You can technically do that with a sideblog. Also it’s similar to @todayontumblr
Collabs ! I think Collections have a lot of potential as “ask for recommendations”. When Collections are rolled out, you could send asks to a few influential blogs and ask them about a topic. A few examples to illustrate : ask theme developer for a collection for people who want to learn css, ask a vibe blog what tag they follow, ask a gimmick blog for a collection of other gimmick blogs… I intend to do that when more people have access to it !
This post is way too long I am so sorry good luck and thanks for your work <3
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theothersarshi · 1 year ago
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Tags from @captainsaku:
#Everything Sarshi said is EXTREMELY on point#and I have very little to add except that#coders DON'T KNOW about the translation issues#so it is usually the case that we will get an excel spreadsheet with a column for Spanish to insert translations in#and the UI elements are completely out of context#so half the time we're just guessing based on vibes#especially because the teamwork doesn't always happen#this kind of stuff gets outsourced to hell and back and asking the client directly is sometimes an impossibility#so you have to go through your outsourcer who needs to ask the client and hear back from them about it#and let me tell you#sometimes the reply from the client is completely useless#anyway all of this to say that yes it's an actual challenge
Yeah, "Here's the spreadsheet, send it back by [date]" and translators scrambling to translate based on vibes is pretty much default.
Developers not knowing what we need is also sometimes painfully clear (see: plurals with an "s").
And questions being answered in very unhelpful ways is a #mood. (PSA: NEVER ask "or" questions. Don't say "Do you mean X or Y here?", because the answer will often be "Yes" and you'll want to shoot someone.)
I think Ao3 might be better at some things than some clients - it's volunteer work and everybody wants things to go well, and there would be no outsourcing to the lowest bidder, so that's a huge plus. I assume there could be some sort of communications system set up between devs and the localization team for answering questions and fixing any bugs that show up while testing.
Concrete discussion based on Ao3's actual code under the line.
If you want to get a feel for how things work, it's worth looking through the files @zz9pzza linked to to get an idea of what Ao3 looks like under the hood. I've just opened this file: https://github.com/otwcode/otwarchive/blob/master/config/locales/mailers/en.yml
The first thing I noticed:
faq_link_text: Collections FAQ more_info: html: For more information, visit our %{faq_link}. text: 'For more information, visit our Collections FAQ: %{faq_url}' subject:
It's clear "faq_link_text" replaces "%{faq_link}" in the html version. However, it's not clear if "faq_link_text" is used in any other context. (I'd assume not, but let's not assume)
Because Romanian syntax is unlike English syntax, "our Collections FAQ" would be rendered in this order: "Questions our frequent about collections". In other words "our" goes inside the phrase - it even goes inside FAQ!
If "faq_link_text" is only ever used in this context, I can move "our" from the html to "faq_link_text" and make it work:
faq_link_text: our Collections FAQ html: For more information, visit %{faq_link}.
But if there's even the slightest chance of that text being used elsewhere, I'll drop "our" and leave it implied that it's Ao3's Collections FAQ. (
I'm in luck because titles and direct objects look the same, so I don't need to find extra workarounds; I'm not sure what other languages are like in this regard)
The second thing I noticed:
anonymous: "[%{app_name}] Your work was made anonymous" anonymous_unrevealed: "[%{app_name}] Your work was made anonymous and unrevealed" unrevealed: "[%{app_name}] Your work was made unrevealed"
"[%{app_name}]" looks like a thing here, but I'm not sure what it is. "Ao3 Your work was made unrevealed"? Something's off about that. I'd also need to ask about this.
The third thing I noticed:
one: The link to set your password is good for %{count} day. other: The link to set your password is good for %{count} days.
This one will be a small issue for Romanian and a larger issue for Polish.
Romanian has a small variation for numbers over 20, where we add an extra preposition: "1 string", "19 stringuri", "20 de stringuri". In practice, for software, people just let it go.
Polish will be in more trouble, because their pluralization rules are more complicated. They have something like, singular, plural, 5+ plural - and they're different enough that you can't just let it go. I don't speak Polish, so I can't give you more details, but the issue popped up so often in projects that I became aware of it.
So you might need to come up with different sets of pluralization rules for a few outlying languages.
I understand what a nightmare backdating multi-language compatibility would be, but it's a terrible shame that AO3's interface and tags are so hardcoded to English. It seems like the best solution might be to use the AO3 source code to essentially make AO3 clones for other languages, a la Wikipedia, but duplicating AO3's volunteer base for every language would be an arduous undertaking to say the least.
--
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How bout a fic a levi x civilian baker? Reader finds him intimidating at first but as time goes by she get to know him and slowly falls in love with levi. Likes his cleanfreakiness, obsession with tea, his gentleness, how he treats his comrades etc. Reader sees his softer side, hidden under the gruffiness and glares. The setting could be scouts relaxing in a small bakery x teashop every dayoff they get and/or reader donates bread for the scouts? Just a peaceful love story❤ with funny banters❤
This has been in my inbox for months but I only now found some inspiration to write it (I'm basically baking stuff every single day so maybe that's why) anon, if you're still out there I'm sorry for the long wait, I hope this is what you wanted.
Pairing: Levi/ Reader
Tags: fluff, canonverse
Loaves of Love
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It all started with a young brunette soldier who had been awestruck by your shop's enamoring display. With her shaky hands and her oily teenage skin pressed against the shiny glass while a streak of drool run down her face.
You had been waxing some tables to start the day with, your feet much swollen and numb by the long standing position when you noticed her; big, round brown eyes that were swooning over the loaf of garlic bread you had placed at the shelf on display were blinking rapidly between you and the object of her desire. She seemed to ignore the voices that we calling out to her as she was fixated on the streaks of smoke that danced in the air, rubbing a tiny area in the glass as if she longed to caress the loaf like a lover.
You couldn't help but crack a smile.
If there was one word that could be used to describe the bakery shop you were working for that word would be 'delicious'.
Or so you wanted to believe.
Your uncle, the owner of the shop and a top baker in Trost, had poured a lot of money to it's renovation after the store was trashed by the breachinf of the walls. It was profoundly evident element in the store that could be found anywhere from the elegant stalls and shelves that were filled with different types of bread and numerous plates of traditional pastries, to the most divine and fine glass that shone on every large window.
The wooden floors were polished to perfection, and twice a day at that, by your uncle's command, and all the tables at the restroom area of the store were cleaned meticulously every single morning. It was a necessary policy of your uncle's; a clean store attracted more customers which meant more income, and thus more independent financial stability for you through a bigger wage. One that you didn't have to split in half with your brother.
Until that day came though, you were stuck with scrubbing and waxing the tables each and every morning.
Wiping down the excess residue of wax, you eyed your brother, noticing how he was setting up loaves of bread neatfully over the caramel brown baskets, carefully making sure he didn't mix up the different breadths of bread. You brother noticed, smiling at you in return and you pointed out to the young brunette whou wouldn't seem to get her face off of your display window.
"She's cute."
"Oh my god Beau, she must be so young you gross little shit."
"The scouts have had their income reduced once again." He announced. "That's why the poor girl is drooling. They're looking for a new bakery to take up their orders too."
"Oh."
"Yeah and uncle said we should do it."
You gave a hard eye with puckered lips to your brother as he voiced that, letting a long sigh escape you. He replied with a side smileand brought his hands to his hair, shipping his locks back before searching for the little hair band in the pocket of his apron. By the time you laid eyes on the small brunette, you noticed that her friends we're accompanying her. You pressed your lips together as you eyed the group of teens, half smiling at them in any case they could see you through the glass. One of them shook his head to the side, shyly blushing as his wide eyes were instantly hidden by his blond bangs.
The were all oggling the display with eyes as wide as the brunettes, You guessed, as your brother had said that they must have been rather hungry; Scouts never really have a big budget nonetheless, and your heart skipped a beat at the paleness on the teenagers' faces, the mere thought of them not having eaten anything for breakfast was more fearful than looking a Titan in the eye.
So, by setting down your table waxing kit, you wiped your hands at your apron and rushed to the small stall that your brother was leaning on.
"Beau, do me a favor and step aside please." You spoke as you marched to him and the hem of your skirt flapped over your ankles.
"Wait, what?"
"I'm feeding the kids."
"(Y/n), they're not stray dogs you know."
"Fine giving them some bread, whatever." You scoffed.
"Uncle's gonna be mad."
"As if I care. I didn't ask to be a baker and work here, plus less loaves means it's on demand."
Your brother sighed at you and slowly shook his head a couple of times. You didn't miss the sly smile that he hid once he burried his face to the palm of his hand, just like he didn't miss the cooking of your eyebrow as you smirked victoriously at him. Taking a complete turn to the opposite direction from the one you were facing you pushed your brother aside and kneeled down to the shelves on the inside of that cashier stall where numerous tote bags laid, folded neatly, ready to accommodate any of your costumer's orders.
You quickly grabbed one, and jounced it open in the air.
Your eyes shot to the teens that still stood before the display, now trying to pull their friend away from it, and hurriedly grabbed a few medium sized loaves in your hands. Once you filled the bag with more loaves than the number of teens you took a quick turn again, your feet stomping the mahogany tiles of the floor underneath you.
"Hello!" Your costumer friendly cheerful voice chatted.
"Ah agagagagagaga!" The brunette from before panicked as she turned to you, her hands stood confused before her chest.
"Hey miss" The tallest of the group, an ashy blond boy, spoke back to you. "We're sorry were standing here like bunch of idiots-"
"Speak for your self Jean! I feel in love with that loaf!"
"Sasha stop being such a glutton!" A girl with ebony hair spoke.
"Oh no it's fine, I just got these for you."
With steady hands a compressee smile on your face you extended the bag to Sasha's direction, the material flapping as it hung from your grip. Sasha's eyes shit wide open, they glimmered with tension and her mouth fell agape as she went to scream at you. Another boy, one with a buzzcut, quickly got his hands on her, linking his elbows inside hers as he wiggled his right palm to her mouth, ready to stop whatever sound the girl wanted to utter.
"Thank you! Please don't give food to Sasha so bluntly, she will bite your hand off." The ashy blonde told you and took a grip of the beige straps of the tote bag. His hand wiggled inside, grabbing a small loaf and he brought it to his nose to smell it before placing it into Sasha's hands.
"You bastars, did you just smell something that was a gift?"
"It smelled good Eren." The boy greeted his teeth.
"Not very accepting of you, she's giving us their most popular bread and the first thing you do is smell it?"
"You've been very annoying today Eren don't test me."
"Eren?" You said, shaking your head in disbelief "Eren Yeager? As in the kid who can turn into a Titan?"
Eren oggled his eyes in yours, marching a foot forward so he could come into a better view and opened his mouth to speak by flapping his lips together. You couldn't help but let out a giggle as you watched Jean roll his eyes at him before taking a step back and tapping Connie's shoulders in order to tell him to unhand Sasha. Any other group of teens would have annoyed you, but these young scouts in particular were known faces of the front lines and over the newspapers at some occasions. You couldn't really hold a grudge to teenagers with issues bigger than yours, you gave them that.
"Yes I am that-"
"Brats."
"I am that brat, what?"
Eren looked around in confusion, questionimg the words that had just left his mouth. You chuckled at him briefly, closing your eyes in the funny of the situation before shooting them open once again as you laid them on the person who had spoke over Eren.
Captain Levi. You almost gasped absurdly loud at the realisation.
Raven hair that shone with a strobe under the early morning light, a porcelain complecion to contrast it, a heart shaped face and narrow almond eyes with thick lashes, a nose that looked like it had been sculped by gods with uttmost delicacy and thin, a pair assymetrical lips that were pressed into a pout. He truly looked better that anyone you had even seen from up close and you found yourself choking with unsaid words as his gunmetal gaze was fixed on you.
"Are you the owner of the store?" He said bluntly, the question reminding you more of a statement.
"Ah, I'm, I'm not! My uncle is and-"
"See I told you he intimidates women!" Connie whispered to Sasha as she stuffed another bite of garlic bread into her mouth, earning a sharp glare from the captain. The duo burst in laughter shortly after the captain turned his gaze from them and you watched as he rolled his eyes at them while digging his lips under his teeth to sink them in his mouth.
"Speak up, my nails don't exactly smell like what you want to say."
You eyed him in confusion, struck by the bluntness of his sarcasm. Still you managed to gather your thoughts with a single inhale. "My uncle is the owner of the bakery, feel free to come in, I'll give fetch him."
"Hm"
With a nod the short man agreed to your proposal, fixing the waist height camel jacket on his chest. It was the beginning of a warm day in Trost, that was for sure and you could see the soldiers around you tense inside their attire slighty. The captain bored his eyes into yours once again as you gestured you to get into the store before him.
Sighing, you entered the the store, giving your brother a wide eyed look before with an awkward smile that vanished in a matter of seconds. You quickly checked to see that the group of teens were lazing out of the bakery, not bothering to follow their captain, as they chit chat they with each other quite loudly.
"Hi, have a seat captain, what can we get you? Something to drink? Or eat? " Your brother greeted from behind the stall, giving the gloomy captain an ear to ear grin.
"Just black tea. Unsweetened."
The captain waved off his hand as he took a seat on a dim lit table and you noticed as his body sank in the chair momentarily. A soft smile over came your features as you stared at him, taking in his bulky form as streaks of light peaked over him, inevitably bathing him in warm morning colors. His finger traced over the table, rubbing softly in a small area as if reluctantly inspecting it.
Of course, you were aware of his antics; many fellow shop owners would compete on who would get to provide captain Levi with his cleaning supplies on his monthly stroll around the town to shop necessities. His mania with cleaning was something that probably unbeknownst to him was a big thing for anyone to his service or even swooning fangirls.
Oh, he had a few of them.
Now, you could see why.
He stood so gloomyon his own, carrying such a mysterious aura around him. With his sleek hand holding the side of his face while being balled up in a tight fist, with his navy gray button down shirt and the knee length boots. Despite being as short as most people said, a fact you were trying to get in your head, because you've only seen him from afar and on his horse, he was still rather bulky, with thighs that were barely restrained by the straps of his gear. With biceps that flexed tight in his jacket.
Shoot, he kind if was a little dreamy, you weren't going to lie.
"Are you going to fetch our uncle or shall I give you a day off to drool over the captain?"
Oh, your brother was always quick to call you out on the bare minimum.
"Fine, fine. I'm off. By the walls."
Okay, yeah, so what if you found the captain a little dreamy, it wasn't going to hurt anyone.
.....
Thinking about your cleaning routine you had concluded that at this point you didn't know if this bakery smelled like the delicious fluffiness of freshly baked bread or sanitary products. People really seemed to compliment you on both nevertheless, whether on individual or collective level. You were simply happy about how most seemed to enjoy their experience at your bakery.
Most, but mostly him.
Captain Levi of the Scouts. He was a regular at your shop for, give or take, three months now. And you couldn't be more happy about it.
Just like today, he was usually dropping by on Mondays, each and every time with a new book in hand, dressed in casually formal attires, that mostly consisted of the same onyx suit and a dress shirt that sat too tight on his petrocals. Your brother would tease you afterwards, making snarkly comments about how you were flirting shamelessly with him, and you'd brush him off with a reply on how unresponsive the man was to anything.
Not convinced with the silly things you told yourself, you brother stood with his back against the bread shelves, grinning victoriously as the little bell of the store rang when the mighty captain slipped inside the store silently. You shit him a glare, a harsh furrowed glare before eyeing the apron that was hanging right next to him. Catching the signal, your brother grabbed the article and rouched it in his hands before tossing it to you.
"The usual?" You smiled slightly at Levi.
"Mhm"
Setting the apron over the bust of your dress, you drag your hands over the cotton front, pinching a few if the ruffles to perfection, then lowering your hands to the small of your back to idle with the straps of the waist in order to tie them in the perfect bow. The heels of your shoes clapped over the mahogany tiles of the floor as you run to the small kitchenette behind that cashier stall, just a few meters away from where your brother stood.
You bent down, then back up, examining the hangers in the area with a cocked eyebrow. Just where were your oven gloves?
"His apple pie is here," You brother said and you clapped a hand over your mouth "I took it out of the oven while you were drooling at him."
"No, oh my god! Is it baked?"
"Would I taken it out if it wasn't?"
You didn't reply. Instead, you chose to fixate your attention at the jars of tea that rested on the top shelf of the kitchenette. The choices weren't many, of course, your store wasn't exactly a tea shop or a coffee shop, the small variety of beverages you had only existed in order to help people digest their pastries better. Nothing too fancy. Yet, for Levi, you had spent days collecting some of the chamomile outside your house, you had tried drying red forests fruits, hell you had even tried making jasmine tea for him.
And for what?
Maybe the look on his face when you'd present him with a new tea blend was all the satisfaction you could use. Actually, that was the only thing it should be; the happiness of a service worker as their costumer enjoyed consuming their product, the fact that it made them come back, maybe the fact that despite not liking sweets they welcomed your pastries without objection.
But it wasn't just that. You knew, your brother knew, maybe even Levi knew and he pitied you.
You had fallen in love with Captain Levi. You had tried your best to supress it, to put it in a box, lock it and dig a hole twenty feet under the ground and bury it so light wouldn't see it again. Him and you weren't possible and you were more than aware ever since the very first day. Still, you had found him becoming so familiar to you in the little times you had seen him that you felt like you couldn't help yourself.
"Are you going to stand there for long? The kettle has been whistling for a long while now."
"Uhh, yes, yeah."
Shaking your thoughts out of your head you fixed your eyes on the whistling kettle. You took another step closer to it and since there wasn't any heat protecting glove in sight, you grabbed the length of your apron in your hand before wrapping your palm around the mettalic handle. You poured the hot water carefully into a large porcelain teapot, through the small almond tea brew that you had previously arranged onto the infuser.
"Don't have that face..."
"What face?" You asked nonchalantly and places the teapot on a tray, right next to the small pot of apple pie.
"You know.. the face... the I'm sad about my boyfriend face."
"I don't have that face." You snarled "and he's not my boyfriend. Shut up before he can hear you."
Walking to a glass shielded cupboard, you slid the little door open and grabbed a matching cup to the teapot, setting it too onto the tray. From the corner of your eye you watched as your brother sighed and shook his head disappointed in you, but you brushed it off quickly; you just wanted to give Levi his order, you'd have all day to endure your brother's teasing after the man of your desire left.
"Hello"
Levi's eyes shimmered as light splashed onto them; the little blue circles on the outer edge of his irises shone a different hue today, one that didn't accentuate the darkness of his eyebags, though it still was enigh to merge with how soft his time was to you.
"Hi" You pressed your lips together "here you go, almond tea and your apple pie."
"Ah, ye-yes, the apple, the apple pie."
Was he, by any chance, stuttering?
You glanced to the left and then to the right, then back to Levi again. Pressing your hand to his forehead didn't seem like a good idea, mostly because you respected his personal space and also because the man was quite fond of being obsessed over cleaningness and maybe your hands weren't clean enough for his standards. Or it could also be that you were overall too awestruck to do anything other than lean down closer to him, bum popping in the air, as your knees remained unbent.
"Is everything alright Captain?"
Had you been dense, you would have missed the way his eyes were magnetized by the action, and consequentially get back to your standing position. Levi quickly cleared his throat though and closed his eyes, brushing the happening off as if it had never happened.
"Yes, I'm, I'm good, just a little" He cough again "Isn't it a bit warm here?"
"Ah, yes, I mean it is a furnace. Anyways I'll leave you to your book."
"No you're welcome to-" Levi begun and his hand traced over the black leather cover of the book.
"What was that?"
"I said, you're welcome. And call me Levi, cut the shitty formalities."
As you turned on your heels to walk to your brother, you felt your heart skip not one, but numerous beats. Quickly, you left the tray on the counter before your brother and rushed to the back room of the store, desperate to hide the embarrassing joy you were feeling. You squatted down on a dim lit spot just behind a few sacks of flour and buried your face in your hands.
Nonetheless you sighed, setting your gaze at one sack of flour before you that was filled to the top, hoping the the neat white color would help you calm down. Why did it have to even be like this? With a deep sigh you put your hands over your knees and unbent them, your body willingly standing up as you wiped your eyebrow with the flat of your palm.
Your head was probably throbbing just as much as your heart.
You felt guilty that you experienced such emotions in the first place. You had been too eager to wear your heart upon your sleeve when it came to Levi that you ignored that most of your interactions rolled as awkwardly as this one.
Maybe that's why he stuttered.
Maybe he even had someone he had feelings for just like you had for him.
Maybe..
Maybe...
Maybe....
You kept repeating the word inside your head until it became a mushy pile of goo that stuck to a crevice of your mind and prevented it from functioning correctly. All you knew was that you had to finish baking the weekly amount loaves the scouts had ordered you. And that's what you set as your task. With your uncle nowhere near the store at this -ungodly for him- hour you walked to the enormous tin in which he kept the dough you were looking for.
All you had to do was shape it into loaves and bake it. Easy and soul mending.
It should be something that could keep your mind off of him for a long while.
.....
The sun shone a bright orange as it spilled from the small windows of the room, bathing the the enormous amount of loaves you had baked as they rested inside the deckles you had placed them in. The warmth of this evening was beyond bearable and combined with the heat of the furnace you could feel your cheeks going numb to the excessive heat.
A droplet of sweat run down your forehead, lukewarm as it was when it formed to the top of your hairline, freshening up a little ribbon over your skin. With the back of your hand covered by the edge of your apron you wiped it away, leaving your skin complaining over the harsh, erratic movement.
"I think your boyfriend is waiting for you."
You turned your head to your left when you heard the tomed down voice. Your brother, was leaning against doorframe of the workshop, his hands crossed and pressed sturdily across his chest, his hip pressing against the casing of the door. There was this warm expression all over his face, that little teasing glimmer that flickeres in his eyes as the light of the sunset painted him orange as well.
"For the last time," You furrowed your brows and looked away. "he's not my boyfriend. And he's free to stay here for as long as he wants."
"Please with how slow things between him and you are going I'm going to have to ask him to ask for your hand in marriage."
Just what you needed.
"Beau. No."
"(Y/n). Yes." He smiled at you once you rolled your eyes "Anyways, he's waiting to help you get the loaves to the Scouts Headquarters. Because I have a date to attend to."
You didn't speak, you didn't even throw your brother a glance as the words left his mouth. You simply furrowed your brows together painfully over your shut eyes and puckered your lips. Your hands reached to your bum, wiping down any residue of flour to the pleats of your skirt ithout giving it a second thought.
"Fine. I hope this isn't one of your match making tricks."
Your brother smiled and tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. You already knew what his answer was going to be.
"Cross my heart and hope to die."
....
The big wooden table that hung from the balcony above it read "Uncle Ben's leather goods" in a big, cursive font, and by the looks of it, Levi had stopped by to retrieve something commissioned for him by his squad. You curiously peaked once or twice inside the store, as you leaned over the cart, the tips of your fingers rubbing lines along the thick wooden borders.
Had you taken the shortcut you had suggested the trip to the headquarters was no more than ten minutes. This evening though, since you were accompanied by the captain himself, taking a shortcut wasn't exactly a preferable option in your agenta, thus, you hadn't insisted on it.
When he finally exited the store with a tote bag hanging from his shoulder you realised you hadn't spent a lot of time waiting for him, still the little commotion in your heart begged you to cease every single moment you had alone with him
"Okay, time to head off to the headquarters" You said with a soft smile.
Levi hummed in response and walked to the back side of the cart. With steady hands he pressed onto it, his fingers flexing onto the metallic handles. He hung his head low, his shaggy bangs waving over his eyes a little before he turned his head again to look at you. Gunmetal orbs fell into yours with serenity, blinking ever so slowly.
"You seem to be into reading, Levi." You said, your eyes being the first ones to look away.
"Ah, yes, I couldn't enjoy reading in the past thus I am doing so now."
You found yourself in loss of words for the thousandth time this evening. You didn't know what exactly you had to say to that, seeing you had heard rumors about him being a former thug, though in your best judgment that would be an intensitive subject to bring up. Immediately, your brother came to your mind, he would not hesitate to pester you for days you if you didn't make any progress over crush now, would he?
Maybe asking for his favorite literature genre was the way to go with this.
"What's your favorite gen-"
"Can I tell you somethin-"
Levi blinked his eyes rapidly into yours and you giggled slightly at his confused face. The ravenette stared back and forth between the two of you with puckered lips, wondering who shall speak first.
"Go ahead Levi."
"The almond tea you're serving me is rather good. Care to tell me how to make it on my own?"
A shy smile came over you, still you felt the need to conceal it. You could see the headquarters peaking from the other buildings in the background, the cobblestone color of the building contrasting the violet of the sky only ever so slightly. You didn't have that much time left with Levi and that was a fact, so now wasn't the time to get all shy.
"I'll bring you a jar next week then. Just a small one though, or not!"
"No?" Levi said and cocked an eye brow at you.
His eyes were fixated on you again, his features bearing a soft expression that you couldn't exactly pinpoint, still it spread a little warmth inside you. Instinctively you run your eyes over your outfit. The only thing you found was as perfect as it was when you left your house in the morning was the top of your dress. You slightly fixed the cord that was holding the corset part of your dress tied, tucking it into where it had escaped from.
You didn't let him know you caught him staring, but by the way he was looking at you, maybe he didn't have a certain someone among the scouts.
Or were you just seeing what you wanted?
"Of course not, I'm not about to lose a regular at my store."
"A regular huh?" Levi questioned with that nasal undertone of his
You looked at the sky before you went to answer him. The evening breeze smeeled wondrously, mixed with the mouth watering aroma of the slightly season with garlic and poppy seeds bread, you could even say it was heavenly. The air wasn't as heavy and awkward as you had expected, rather, Levi was in a somewhat playful mood if you could place it correctly.
It struck you that he might have been like that because he was feeling the change in the atmosphere as well.
"Would you like to be more than a regular?" You paused "shoot never mind that"
"What was that? More than a regular?"
"Yes, a super regular!" You smiled slyly.
"If you keep spurting entertaining crap like that more often I might be tempted to become one."
Without realising it, you found yourself gaining confidence over the little territory you had conquered in the captain's mind. Every step you took that lead ultimately led you to the Headquarters was a proof of that. Levi seemed to be as bummed as you, he seemed to be flustered like a teen whose date had ended, you could see it now for some reason.
And when it came to you, your feet weren't shaky anymore, your voice wasn't the squeaky polite voice you'd put on for strangers. This was the first time in a long while where you felt like you could be yourself in Levi's presence and you couldn't help but hope there would be more instances like this.
"Here we are."
"Yes, here we are." Levi sighed, turning his face to look at you.
"I uhm, I'll help you get those in."
"No need to, I'll have the brats sweat for it, I haven't tortured them in a long while."
You couldn't help but laugh a little at that comment, though the bubbling sound died down immediately, bowing before the reality of your current situation. Your stroll around Trost had come to end. What an unfair way for your little walk to die.
Nevertheless your chest rose and fell as you looked at Levi, your heart pulping hard inside your chest. Heat rushed just under your skin, stinging you in millions of places at once as you contemplated on what to say next. You were going to speak, and very soon at that, just omge you found the words to do so.
"I'd like to see you again." You spoke, though you doubted this was the right choice of words.
"You see me every single week."
"Not like that!"
"Tch, then?" He clicked his tongue.
Your stomach turned. It twisted and turned and tied itself in a horrid knot; you couldn't just not panic. At his cocked brow, the little press of his lips, the way his eyes remained narrowed as the glared at you. On no, this was your doom for being bold before, wasn't it?
"Like this, but, without the bread."
You didn't miss the way his eyes softened at your words, frankly because it was a rather beautiful sight. The little creases of his eyes overlaoped each other, narrowing his gaze with a mellow tint that was gone as soon as you blinked. It only made you feel like you shouldn't blink again as to not miss his small reactions.
"Hmh, that can be arranged."
Honestly, you couldn't wait until then.
Taglist: @sasageyowrites @ackermans-freedom-inc @melancholicmonologue @ladyofpandemonium @levisbrat25 @hawkssnugget @berrijam @lzrers @levisbrat25 @callmepromise
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the-witty-pen-name · 4 years ago
Text
Deadbeat Pt. 7
Lee Bodecker x F!Reader
18+ ONLY
Warnings: age gap (reader is 21), fluff, angst, cursing, abandonment, toxic parent, violence, toxic siblings, infatuation, cheating/divorce, insecurity, mild housewife kink, mentions of prostitution, mentions of alcohol, corrupt official, fake relationship, jealousy
Word Count: 2.5k
Summary: You work at the bar at the edge of town, the Sheriff is going through a divorce and needs to rent a room.
A/N:
IMPORTANT UPDATE
I made a Google form to be added to my taglists, so if you want to be added, the link is in my bio. I’ll only be adding people to the list if they requested to be added by filling out the form! This way all of the requests are just in one place so I don’t miss requests! Thank you!!!
I’m sorry for this chapter being shorter than normal, but it is more of a transitional chapter to set up some new stuff! I’m trying a new writing style in this chapter and this is why the word count is shorter. I’m nervous about posting this chapter honestly, since I tried something different. The following chapters will be back up to 3.5-4k as usual! This story is not over! 
Thank you all so much for reading and sharing my work. Everyone whose reached out and told me how much they love the story really makes my day, oh my gosh!! I love you all so much, I’m so thankful.
Address mentioned is completely made up. 
This is unedited, and I missed anything I should include as a warning let me know! I hope you all enjoy!
Tags and Requests are OPEN
Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Part Five // Part Six
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Lee never stopped telling you how much he loved you. At first, you had thought it was a spur of the moment exclamation but you were mistaken. When you realized he meant it, you reciprocated telling him you loved him too, making him the happiest man in the world. It all happened so fast, and your relationship was evolving quickly.
Maybe living together played a factor in how quickly the relationship progressed. It’s hard to just be dating someone you already live with and can’t take out on proper dates. It made everything else happen faster. He wished he could spoil you and take you to restaurants and walk into a room with you on his arm, but he couldn’t yet.
But from that moment on, he never stopped telling you. He said the phrase probably every moment he could manage. Every time he called from his office; he wouldn’t hang up without muttering the phrase. He’d tell you that he loved you before he left the house, or he’d just announce it unprompted when you both were home together, like it was some epiphany or declaration. He’d love to whisper it to you, especially at night with you pulled tightly to his chest.
He made sure he’d tell you in nonverbal ways as well, always letting you know he was thinking about you. Somehow, you’d end up with flowers on your desk at work at least once a week as well, never with a card. He’d cook, and on his days off, he’d spend them with you or he would surprise you by fixing things on the house. Never in a million years had you ever expected Lee Bodecker to be such a romantic, and when you’d joke about it, he’d say,
“You give me a reason to be, doll.”
It was thrilling, having someone to love and to have those feelings reciprocated. The ability to just be able to give and receive love was something he was never able to manage, perhaps it was just never the right person, or perhaps he had always been too selfish.
Now for the first time in a very long time, he wasn’t thinking about himself.
You gave him purpose and something worth fighting for.
“When this whole thing is over and we’re out of this town, I’m gonna marry you,” he said rubbing your arm as you lay in bed cuddled up to his side. You lay your arm across his tummy and rest your head on his chest. You hum in agreement, resting your eyes, both of you waking up earlier than you needed and you were enjoying the peaceful moment of the morning together.
“I hate seeing you with that Russel kid,” he’ll mutter, possessively pulling you closer, you could feel the vulnerability in his voice.
The past weeks have been really hard on Lee. It bothered him more and more each day, knowing Arvin was the one who got to drive you home from work and just being out and about with you. He knew you were his, and he never didn’t trust you. But you were so blind to the boy’s obvious feelings for you. It was something that would eat at him at night.
He couldn’t even blame you, if Arvin was able to sweep you away from him. Arvin was a good kid- took care of his family, worked a decent job, went to Church, and he was your age. He was much better looking in the traditional sense than Lee as well. Plus, you had a history. The boy was your first love and no one forgets their first love.
He knew you didn’t look at Arvin the same way Arvin looked at you, but he was always worried that a shift could come. If that damned reporter wouldn’t leave town and the more time you spent with Arvin, the more you’d see how much you’d actually want to be with him instead. You always told Lee he was the one you wanted and he believed you, but he worried that you would change your mind. He was so insecure, and he felt guilt, and he knew that he didn’t deserve to be happy, that he didn’t deserve your affection.
Sometimes he couldn’t let himself relax. Scenarios of all the different reasons you could leave him for polluted his mind and he hated how it took him out of being in the moments he just wanted to enjoy. He’d see you in his mind, happy with Arvin, marrying him instead and creating all those experiences with Arvin instead of him.
“He’s just my friend,” you reiterate, probably now for the millionth time. You were patient, and it never seemed to bother you, that the two of you ending up having this same conversation over and over. He needed the constant reassurance, and he hated the fact that he did.
“I want you, Lee,” you’ll mumble affectionately, trying to shower him with compliments and praise, to lift him up when he got down like this. “I don’t want any other man,” you’d affirm.
“This town is poison,” Lee mutters, looking out the window, the blinds pulled back as the sun is steadily rising. “Everything feels like it’s tainted,” he observes.
“Except us,” you correct him. He nods, but he knows his statement especially applies to him.
“Except you,” he sighs, his fingertips tracing circles on your bare shoulder.
“You don’t think you’ve ruined me, Sheriff?” you tease, making him smile, gradually pulling him out of his state. You’d lean up and kiss him, and the sensation would help his thoughts fade away for a few minutes. The feeling of your lips and soft skin against his own just putting his mind at ease, using his other senses to just keep his mind at bay.
He’s not sure if you realize how much he means it when he talks about escaping away from the town and marrying you. He thought about it all the time and it was what he was working toward. He knew even if he managed to go straight, if when Curtis left town, if the case around your mom was resolved, the town would still eat you up. The image of you both would be sullied. Reputation was crucial for survival in a town like this. You’d already been subjected to it before your relationship started.
He knew the solution was simple. He needed to take you away from Ross County, move to a new town where no one knew you both. It would just be a Sheriff and his new bride looking for a place to settle down. No rumors, or peeping eyes, or reporters, or exes, no corruption- just the two of you. Get a house, maybe start a family if you wanted that too.
He hoped you did. He’d be content either way, but he wanted a big family. His growing up was much less than ideal and it was just him and his sister. He loved the idea of a bigger family. He loved the image of having a house that was loud in a different way than what he grew up in. He often worried if he’d be a good father, but he never once doubted how excellent of a mother you would be if you wanted.
The only thing he wanted in his future was you, and everything else would be a blissful bonus of things he also doesn’t deserve. But to him you deserved the world and he simultaneously wanted to give you everything but then at the same time he felt like he would hold you back. You were young and had so many good years ahead of you. He couldn’t imagine you’d want to waste the rest of your life or even the rest of your twenties with him.  
You could get a job doing anything you wanted and he could run for Sheriff in the new town maybe, or he could do something else. It didn’t matter to him anymore really. The time he’s been with you has really helped him see what is actually important. It was the only thing he wanted. He wanted to be able to give you that because he knew that you deserved it and more than he’d ever be able to give you.
Laying in bed with you on this lazy morning, reminded him of the last time he was there when you were still bartending. It was the first time that pesky day dream of his started. It was something a lot bigger now than it was then. He loved you, and he was relieved he could say it to you now, and he wanted to settle down. This backwards way the two of you got together was a mess but it was yours. He wouldn’t trade it for anything, but he knew he needed to make things right.
He had been so blind, for so long, and he finally started to feel like he could be someone he actually wanted to be.
All he needed was time and he could set it all straight.
***
Arrest of Pimp in Knockemstiff, Ohio Reveals Corruption of Town Sheriff
By: Henry Curtis
Sheriff of Ross County, Lee Bodecker, has been allegedly involved in the coverup of a local brothel, run by Leroy Brown. Brown and several of his associates were arrested on Wednesday night by local police for drug possession and possession of illegal firearms. As the group resisted arrest, there was a shoot out at a small bar in Meade, which was revealed to serve as a front for their operation. Seven men, including Brown, were arrested Wednesday night for questioning by the local police.
While giving his statement, Brown confessed to the charges and in hopes of a lesser sentence, cooperated with police and provided names of all involved in the underground prostitution ring. He provided the police with twelve names, including that of the local Sheriff Lee Bodecker and his sister Sandy Henderson, who has since also been apprehended by the local authorities.
Sandy Henderson was apprehended on Thursday morning, and made bail for $500 that Saturday. Henderson and her husband, both denied an opportunity to provide a statement. The pair only stated they will be promptly returning home and want to put this behind them.
Although there has been no release of his official statement as of yet regarding this alleged involvement, Bodecker was taken into custody the next morning, apprehended by his deputies from his home. Deputy Bill Thomas has since announced that the Sheriff will be subject to a trial in the near future, and for now faces an indefinite suspension from his post until his innocence has been proven. Deputy Thomas has also said that regardless of the outcome of the trial, Bodecker will be unable to run for reelection next term.
With this new development, it is also worth noting that the Sheriff is a tenant of (Y/N) (Y/L/N), the daughter of Estelle (Y/L/N)-Tucker who is currently wanted by law enforcement for embezzling thousands from her husband Harvey Tucker’s company, Tucker Brokerage, and then fleeing with her sixteen-year-old son. When police arrived at her home Thursday morning to apprehend the Sheriff, deputies on scene took an official statement from (Y/L/N), where she denied knowledge of the Sheriff’s involvement in any of the alleged criminal activities nor any knowledge regarding her mother or brother’s whereabouts.
Woman Wanted for Embezzling Funds from Tucker Brokerage Arrested in Indiana
By: Henry Curtis
Former resident of Knockemstiff, Ohio, Estelle (Y/L/N)-Tucker was arrested in South Bend, Indiana yesterday morning before dawn. Being able to identify her as a wanted person, Este and Harold Turner, owners of the Sunnyside Motel where (Y/L/N)-Tucker had been staying for about three days prior to the arrest, notified the local authorities she was staying in one of their rooms. She also was accompanied by her sixteen-year-old son.
The boy’s older sister has now become the boy’s sole guardian and he has since returned to his hometown. According to the police, the boy was completely cooperative and they believe he had no knowledge of his mother’s crimes. In a statement given the night of the arrest, the boy told police he believed they were running from his step-father, as his mother insinuated, she had been a victim of domestic abuse. There is no evidence yet as to whether her statement is true, but there will be an investigation of husband, Harvey Tucker, to discover if this claim is true.
Both children of Estelle (Y/L/N)-Tucker have not agreed to speak about their mother or the situation to anyone except police. Daughter, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), said when she arrived in Indiana to pick up her brother, seemed to only care about getting her brother home safely. Locals report she never asked to see her mother, and only focused on her brother.
As of now, (Y/L/N)-Tucker will remain in the custody of the South Bend Police until they are ready to transport her to Columbus, Ohio where she will face jail time and then eventually a trial.
Corruption in Knockemstiff High School Staff, Principal Arrested for Illegal Distilling- Sheriff Involved in Cover Up
By: Henry Curtis
Principal of local high school, Mark Cunningham, was arrested today after local police discover an illegal distillery on his residence. Police had retrieved a warrant to search Cunningham’s land after receiving an anonymous tip from a source close to the Principal.
Following his arrest, Cunningham admitted to the felony, but also claimed Ross County’s previous Sherriff, Lee Bodecker, had prior knowledge of the still, and in exchange for his silence, he demanded Cunningham offer a secretarial job at the high school to his landlord, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), who is the daughter of Estelle (Y/L/N)-Tucker, who recently was tried for embezzlement.
The vice-principal of the high school, Meredith Lively, has stepped forth as interim principal until the position can be filled, and ensured the press (Y/L/N) had been fired effective immediately, despite her claims of being unaware any such deal had conspired. Police have found no evidence to contradict (Y/L/N)’s statement, and in an official statement taken from Bodecker, he confirmed that it was part of the deal she not be made aware of the circumstances.
New Sheriff Elected to Ross County
By: Henry Curtis
Former Deputy Bill Thomas has been elected Sheriff of Ross County. Following the trial of former Sheriff Lee Bodecker, who had been found guilty of all charges, Bodecker was barred from office, and given a five-year sentence.
Deputy Thomas in an acceptance speech during a recent town hall meeting, ensured residents of Knockemstiff that “one bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch” and the Sheriff’s department under new control will keep the town safe, and clean of crime and corruption. When asked by reporters how he felt about Bodecker, Thomas only described his situation as “unfortunate.”
There has been no other evidence of corruption within Ross County Sheriff’s Department although the investigation is still ongoing. When asked during his trial if he received any corroboration from any other law officials, Bodecker stated he never involved other members of the force with his wrongdoings.
REAL ESTATE  
Room Available for Rent in Knockemstiff, Ohio
$50 monthly rent (utilities included)
1 Bedroom (250 sq. ft.), furnished
Private bathroom with shower
4 Birch Street
Knockemstiff, Ohio
Please call the following number with serious offers. Price negotiable.
PART EIGHT
Taglist
@scar-is-bi @jiminlife2k18 @asylummaniac01 @rosalynshields @charmed-asylum @jamesbuchananbuckybarnes1917 @alexandrathegreat3 @hersilencedscreams @malar-region @purplerain85 @vesper852 @smilewolfdolan @softshell-taco @champagnebucky @lilacmeadows @mollygetssherlockcoffee
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ryuichirou · 5 years ago
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Lord God Savior of All Ryu, I ask for but one noble request. lol i just wanna see all your AUs. Like, I always here about them in replies and stuff but I've almost never seen what they actually look like. So if you could just tag pics of them or doodle (they can be super bad 30 sec doodles too, it don't matter to me) them, I would be the happiest, most joyful little shit ever.
Anon!! Thank you for being so interested in our AUs and wanting to learn more about them. It was a very good excuse for us to go through the list of the AUs, doodle them, revisit some of the older ones, etc. So yeah, your wish is granted lol
Here’s the majority of them, we decided not to include those that we’ve barely talked about and thought out... I’ve put tags for those AUs where we have at least something posted. Most of them are something we haven’t even talked about at all and they don’t have a single sketch, but I liked drawing chibis for them way too much. Sorry, I used your ask lol
We have a general tag for our aus and specific ones for some of them, but sometimes an au from here is not tagged separately, so you might have to use this general tag...I tried to fix it, I don’t think I missed anything, so it should be ok now! ;w;
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1. Space AU. It’s a story about a space expedition.. which turned out to be not exactly what everyone planned thanks to Erwin. What a commander! 
2. Tribal AU. It’s a story about Eren becoming a part of the tribe where Erwin and Levi live. 
3. Babysitter AU. Levi is a babysitter to Eren and Zeke, unfortunately for Zeke, who’s 17 and not exactly thrilled about being babied. Sometimes there’s kid Erwin too. We’ve never posted anything related to this AU, I think, and I don’t think we will. There’s another AU related to this one, but 19yo Eren from the paths (he has the memory of the manga events) keeps kid Eren company as an invisible ghost, while others think that kid Eren is cursed or something.
4. SnK AU. A classical one, where Eren has dreams about the plot of SnK, but when the story stops progressing, he decides to kidnap Levi to make the plot go on. Erwin finds out later... and keeps Levi in the basement because he wants to know the ending too lmao plus it’s hot.
5. Mines AU. Erwin gathered a team for his wonderful plan to find a treasure, but it’s not like the rest of the team needs to know where they’re really going. Zeke’s particularly terrified to find that out. Despite its name, they spend the majority of time in the forest. Also, there’s a timeskip of 11 years. 
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6. AU with Neetwin who’s a history teacher. We don’t tag this one though, it’s not like it’s our AU. So now it’s a Neetwin tag, although one of the drawings is with adult Levi... eh, who cares. 
7. CC AU (cleaning company). Levi works in a cleaning company and cleans up Neetwin and hobo Eren’s apts. They need a lot of work. Yes, they make their apts even dirtier to make Levi spend more time there. 
8. Prison AU. Damn this one is good... we came up with it before reading the timeskip in the manga, so Eren’s appearance doesn’t really match his age, he’s 17 lol Levi is a mafia member who goes to prison because he need to kill one of the inmates (who later became Zeke) on Erwin’s (Levi’s boss) request. Eren’s his personal guard, although Eren works as a regular guard too.
9. King Kong AU. It’s an AU where the Beast Titan is King Kong lmao Zeke is having fun killing dinosaurs... Levi, not so much. Thank Erwin for his wonderful plan of going to this island.
10. Rus AU, basically just characters living in Russia. Because ofc we will have this type of a setting... Damn, I thought we drew this one more often, huh. 
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11. Sea AU. Mainly our modern AU, we use it as a base for other modern stuff for the most part. Levi’s getting two boifrond rings, he lives with Erwin, Eren visits them often, Zeke bitches a lot, fun times with and without Zeke, stuff like that. There’s also a subplot (11.5) where Eren gets “kidnapped” by a witch, so Zevi have to find him and bring him back. Titans exist in this AU, Eren and Zeke are titans, and all of them have military training, but Erwin and Levi retired some time ago. We don’t have a tag for just a modern setting, though. 
12. Cult AU. Eren lives on a farm and has a whole village of his followers. He also has cursed animals... and I think we’ve told about some of the plot points in replies. Erwin’s really into all this cult stuff because it affects reality for real, so he asks Levi to follow rituals, although Levi came to ask Eren to go back to normal life and finish the fucking school. 
13. Serial killer AU. Eren’s a serial killer, duh. Never posted anything with this one, unfortunately, but Eren got disappointed in the police when he was a child, so he decided to fix the situation himself, while Erwin and Levi, as a part of a special department, investigate his “fixing”. It also has a time skip. I really need to redraw at least one sketch...
14. Hospital AU. Levi gets into Marley trying to make Eren go back, but it’s not that simple because Eren doesn’t want to lol Basically canonverse with this small change.
15. Hobo AU. Eren and Levi are hobos, Zeke wants his brother to stop living under a fucking bridge. Later Erwin takes both of them under his roof because he really likes Levi, but he can’t leave Eren alone.
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16. Doggies AU. AU where Eren’s a wolf and Erwin’s a doggo. Levi got Erwin because he was a retiring trained dog and sniffed enough drugs in his life, and Eren... his “owner” found him on the streets and lied to Levi about Eren being a dog. Later Eren turned into a magnificent beast and now he doesn’t want to leave. There’s also Zeke, but he belongs to Xavier. 
17. AU where Eren wants to become a mangaka. The first post is self-explanatory, although I’d probably make some changes now if I cared enough. There’s also a time skip where Eren ditched his manga and became hobo!Eren. His editor was pissed lol 
18. Scolopendra Eren AU. You know the drill, and I’ve talked about the plot in some of the replies. 
This post doesn’t show up on the tag for some reason.
19. Ghost Eren AU. I should’ve named it combini AU... Anyway, I’ve talked about this one a lot, although poor Erwin gets neglected a little bit lol it’s hard to compete with a ghost when you’re just a mere stalker... but a very invested one. Eren likes Erwin here, they’re vibing on the same malicious-towards-Levi wave. 
20. Shark Eren AU. It’s just for us for funs, Eren’s a shark, and Levi’s there to help him fight depression. Eren later escapes into the sea.
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21. Midsommar AU. Levi and Erwin get an invite to go to the village from Yelena, Eren’s a part of a cult who is kinda attracted to one of the newcomers... Such a good movie, we need to draw them properly. Both Yeagerists and Eldians are a part of the cult, they don’t have any specific rules by which I categorised them... Although not all characters are present, and some of them (Jean, I think) are newcomers who will join the cult later. Sorry, I don’t remember much. 
22. Silent Hill AU. It started with Erwin peeking into Levi’s apartment, but now there’s Eren too... We haven’t thought out this one, I’m bad with Silent Hill AUs for some reason. 
23. House Eren AU. Eren’s a house, and we’ve explained how it works too, so just check out the tag. Levi actually lives there with Erwin, but I don’t remember if we’ve mentioned it or decided to skip this info. 
24. Eren pack AU. It’s an AU where Erens of all ages (6 of them, I believe) are a little bit feral, and they have wolf ears and tails, and they live in a specific place and Levi visits them every day and takes care of them. They love Levi. Here’s the only post that survived, and here’s a link for a twitter post which I never got back on tumblr after it got deleted. 
25. Trailer AU. The story is about Levi who has to live with Zeke for a month as his slave because Erwin lost him in a game of cards lol To be fair, Erwin lost a lot of money and their whole flat, and Zeke gave them a choice between that and Levi (he’s horny ok), and Levi agreed. Zeke even put Levi on a chain, although Levi doesn’t even try to escape...
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26. Flower shop AU. Eren’s a plant, and he brings death to the whole planet. He keeps Levi alive though, as a treat for himself. We’ve explained some of the stuff in the replies. 
27. Blair Witch AU. It’s pretty much explained in this post, and if you saw the movie, there’s nothing for me to tell you. Everything that’s different from it is in the post lol 
28. Corpse AU. Eren’s a corpse, Levi’s a pathologist who works on difficult and mysterious cases alongside the police. Eren later comes to life along with a couple of other bodies...
29. Antichrist AU. Zevi adopt baby Eren, but Eren’s a fucking satan. He loves Levi, but Zeke... not so much. Zeke loves Eren to death, though. Eren would love to organise that, but first he needs to grow up a little bit. It doesn’t mean that he won’t torture his parents during his journey. And everyone else who interact with them.
30. This one doesn’t have a title, but it’s an AU where kid Eren went missing, and Levi goes into the forest to find him. Levi owns Erwin who’s a good doggo and helps him find Eren. It turns out Eren killed two adult dudes, and he has paths!Eren telling him what to do and how to do it... Paths!Eren has the memory of the canonverse.
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31. Zombie apocalypse AU. There’s only one drawing with it though, but basically Levi builds himself a wonderful place to survive the apocalypse, and he keeps Zombie Erwin in the basement in hopes of Hange finding a cure. Then Eren joins just because he can and because Levi’s very awesome. Eren has a boner for the apocalypse and enjoys every second of it. 
32. No title, but Eren was casted away from the canon universe for the rumbling, and now he’s a mythological giant wolf who lives in a deep very old forest. He was very surprised to find out Levi exists in this universe... So he kidnapped him ❤️
33. Halloween AU. You’ve seen this one, it’s a story where Jean, Connie, Sasha and Eren get into the wrong house and find a ritual instead of a Halloween party... So after saving the child who, as it turns out, is not really a victim, they decide to ditch him at Eruri’s place.
34. Okusan AU. Levi’s a housewife, Erwin is a cuckold who’s really into adultery. He invites both Zeke and Eren from time to time to act as Levi’s husbands, and they (Levi and Erwin) almost get caught because the “husband” suddenly came home... Sorry, we’ve read too many doujinshis lol
35. Island AU. Erwin loves sending Levi to dangerous places to get souvenirs for himself, and now it’s time for Levi to get a crystal from a very isolated island full of strict rules in terms of interacting with outsiders. We have a cool idea for a two part drawing (like with our flower shop au), but it’ll take us ages to complete anything at this rate... I have like two sketches on Patreon for now, but damn this AU has so many cool visuals we wanna draw... It’s another cult AU with people living on Paradis (more like one village in the middle of the island), isolated from the rest of the world. They don’t welcome strangers, and Levi has three months to find and steal that crystal, although it’s not that simple.
36. Erewan. Not exactly a full AU, but Erewan’s a cursed animal plushie who kills people and loves Levi a lot. 
37. Cat AU. Everyone’s a cat (duh). Not really our AU, but it has its own tag, and it’s only asks. 
38. Tiny founder Eren AU?? Again, not really our AU, but now it has its own tag. 
I’ve also found the reply where I talk about how characters’ relationships work in some of the AUs, you can check it out too. I thought it was fitting for a master post. 
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cacoetheswriting · 5 years ago
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unrequited love - spencer reid
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Warnings: mild cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of murder, usual criminal minds stuff tbh Word Count: 2.6k Requested By: anonymous : “can you write a spencer reid fic? something ansgsty maybe..”. 
--
No one understands why you do certain things even when you know you're never going to get anything back. - Shahul Hussain
QUANTICO, VIRGINA
The smell of freshly brewed coffee was probably your favourite, especially at ungodly hours of the morning. Closing your eyes for a brief moment you could feel a sort of calm and warmth surround you. The aroma slowly awoke your senses. Your lips touched the brim of the white mug in your hand and you took a slow sip.
“Good morning Y/L/N.” Derek Morgan appeared beside you. You looked up at him from your mug. “I brought you a coffee but I can see you couldn't wait.” He joked holding up a paper cup. “You know me Derek, I’ll take all the caffeine I can get.” You replied grabbing the cup from him. “Especially at four in the morning.” Derek smirked. “Yeah, they have to stop doing that to us.” 
With two coffees in hand, you made your way to the conference room. The rest of the team was already there. You sat at your usual seat, placing the coffees on the table in front of you, and turned your attention to the screen.
“Morning my lovelies.” Penelope began. “I would say good but there is nothing good about it given the case we have been asked to wor-” “Garcia.” Hotch interrupted briefly encouraging her to get to the point. “Right. Yes. No time to waste.” Penelope cleared her throat and fixed her glasses.
“Last night, twenty-five year old Millie Moore didn't return home after her shift at a bar in Riverside, California. Her body was discovered this morning in a dumpster behind her workplace.”
“The killer wanted her to be found.” JJ stated. There was a brief pause before Penelope continued. 
“The kidnapping and murder was linked to four other cases in the state of California spanning over the last month.” The images filled the screen causing you to clench your fists in disgust. 
The small rather insignificant action was observed by the brunette man sitting across from you. Unnoticed by everyone else at the table, Spencer’s eyes focused on your hands before travelling up to your face. He examined the look spread across your features, trying to figure out what was on your mind. 
“He definitely has a type.” Rossi noticed. “Any signs of sexual assault?” Derek questioned. “Yes, actually all of the victims displayed signs of uhm.” Garcia couldn’t bare to finish her sentence. 
“Given the small cooling off period between each victim, we need to assume the unsub has his next target already picked out.” Hotch stated. “Garcia can finish briefing us on the plane. Wheels up in twenty.”
The group nodded at each other and all got up from their seats - all but you. For some reason you couldn't avert your eyes from the gruesome images that filled the screen. 
“Y/N...” Spencer’s soft whisper brought you back to reality. He stood just a few steps away. You titled your head to look at him noticing a concerned look spread on his face. “They look like me Spence. The victims, they all look like me.” 
Spencer cleared his throat. “Humans in fact, aren’t that genetically diverse. So eventually, the numbers would dictate that certain features resembling yours and another persons will randomly combine.” He paused. 
“But that doesn’t mean they are an exact duplicate of you.” He smiled hoping you would smile back. “You’re right, sorry. It’s just a little weird.” “We’ve had weirder.” Spencer said as you got to your feet. The young doctor grabbed one of the coffees for you as you grabbed the other and followed you out to the pit. 
“You know caffeine increases alertness by blocking a brain chemical called adenosine that makes you feel tired, while at the same time triggering the release of adrenalin that’s known to increase energy.” Spencer stated placing the coffee cup he was holding on your desk. 
“If the amount of caffeine is high enough, these effects are stronger, resulting in caffeine-induced anxiety.” You finished the fact for him, slightly rolling your eyes. “Yes Spence, I know. You tell me this every time I have more than one mug in the morning.” The smart doctor shrugged smiling at you. He grabbed his go-bag from underneath his desk and waited for you. 
The friendship you shared with Spencer was an odd one. The two of you were quite close when you were still at the academy. He helped you study for all your tests and was always one to share tips on how to complete certain tasks. 
A couple of years go by without contact. At that point you were a field agent in New York, which is where you reconnected on a case. The spark was instant although neither of you wanted to admit it. This time Spencer stayed in touch. It was clear then that whatever undiscovered feelings he had for you back when you first met resurfaced - but you weren’t ready to explore whether you felt the same.
Next thing you know you were getting a call from Aaron Hotchner with an offer to join the BAU. Something, you later found out, Spencer had fought to get organised. 
It felt like you played with his heart. To an outsider it probably even looked like that - he fell in love with a girl and landed her a dream job in hopes that she would love him back. 
RIVERSIDE, CALIFORNIA
“What if we’re dealing with a disgruntled boyfriend or husband?” JJ posed the question. “He lost someone in his life that resembled the victims.” “Then why kill them?” Derek questioned. 
The team was gathered around a conference table brainstorming. Spencer was the only one not sitting down, not unusual for Dr. Reid. He was pacing around the bullpen talking on the phone, probably with Penelope. 
Your eyes lingered on the back of his head for a moment through the glass window. Something Derek noticed immediately. “Where’s your head at Y/L/N?” You turned your attention to the rest of the team. “What if JJ is right in a way? But rather than a significant other, what if the unsub was rejected by these women or someone who looks like them?” 
Derek nodded his head in understanding. Your eyes scanned the team waiting for anyone sitting at the table to suggest something else. It was Rossi who opened his mouth next however whatever was on his mind was interrupted by Spencer storming into the room.
“Where’s your mind at pretty boy?” Derek questioned leaning back in his chair. “I spoke with Garcia. All of the victims had social media accounts and tagged-” He approached the map pinned to one of the boards. “- three different spots in this location before they were murdered.” With a red pen, Spencer circled one area on the map. 
“The hunting ground.” Rossi stated and everyone else nodded.
“Let’s split up.” Hotch began. “Reid, go with Y/L/N. Derek and Rossi, and JJ you’re with me. I’ll get Garcia to send us the exact addresses, hopefully one of these places will bring us a step closer to catching the unsub.” 
The team got to their feet and one by one left the conference room, leaving you alone with Spencer. “Ready partner?” He asked smiling at you. “Always.” 
It didn't take long to get there, traffic was unusually quiet for California. Plus whenever you’re with Spencer the conversation flow makes the moments pass by quickly - you never run out of things to talk about.
“Looks closed.” You said getting out of the car, shutting the door behind you. “Strange, it’s the middle of the day.” Spencer noted as he walked around the hood. The two of you glanced at each other before moving forward towards the entrance of the coffee shop.
The door wasn't locked so you made your way inside. A small ‘ding’ from the bell above your heads signalised you have entered the premises. An eerie feeling came over you. 
The lights were switched off. The chairs were placed neatly on the tables. Menus were carefully stacked beside the register, sugar bowls placed in a row along the countertop. A wet floor sign was placed in the middle of the room. You walked around it carefully, that’s when you noticed the strong smell. 
“Is that?” You asked looking at Spencer. “It smells like bleach.” The young doctor stated back, his hand travelled to his gun. Slowly, with one hand on your weapon holster, you made your way around the countertop. That’s when you felt someone grab you from behind. A shriek escaped your mouth getting Spencer’s attention. 
The unknown male held your arms behind your back as he led you back towards the middle of the coffee shop - using you as a human shield. He kicked over the yellow sign and stopped. You could feel his hot breath against your skin, it made you sick. “Let her go.” Spencer stated sternly, pointing his gun.
“I’m going to walk out of here.” The male said. “And you’re going to let me.” You watched Spencer shake his head. “I can’t let you do that.” His response wasn't what the man wanted to hear. Frustrated, he drew your weapon from the holster and placed it to your temple causing the air to catch in your throat.
“How about now?” The man sounded angrier. He could sense your fear, just like you could sense Spencer’s. The young doctor met your gaze briefly before looking back at the man holding you. 
“What’s your name?” Spencer asked. The man scoffed. “I’m not telling you shit!” “Tell me your name and maybe we can sort something out.” Spencer said calmly, his gun still pointing in your direction.
There was a brief moment of heavy silence before the man snarled: “You first.”
“My name is Dr. Spencer Reid and the woman you are now holding at gunpoint, that’s Agent Y/N Y/L/N.” You could feel the man shift, as if he was trying to get a better look at you before he turned his attention to Spencer again. “Theo.” He said simply. 
“Nice to meet you Theo. How old are you Theo?” “What’s that got to do with anything?!” 
Your whole body was shaking at this point. 
“O-okay Theo. Tell me this instead, why did you kill all of those women?” “I didn’t hurt anyone!” Theo snapped. “Only a guilty man would hold a federal agent at gunpoint.” Spencer pointed out. “Shut up!” Theo lowered the gun from your temple and pointed it at Spencer. A lone tear escaped the corner of your eye. 
“Why did you kill them Theo?” Spencer asked again. 
“They deserved it.” Theo answered after a brief moment of silence. “They hurt me!” “How did they hurt you Theo?” The man’s grip around you tightened. “They just hurt me!” He screamed. “Now let me go or I swear, she’s next!” The gun was back at your temple. 
Spencer met your scared gaze. The look in his eye was almost as if to say everything was going to be okay, that he was going to get you out of this. You tried to smile. You even mouthed “It’s okay.” at which Spencer’s jaw locked - he wasn’t going to lose you, not like this. 
“Those women hurt you Theo? I know exactly what that feels like.” Spencer said calmly. “Being hurt by someone you love.” You could feel Theo nod against your head. His grip loosened slightly.  
“Do you know what unrequited love is Theo?” Spencer asked and without waiting for a response continued. “It’s love not reciprocated or returned. It’s when you love someone and they don't love you back, they don't acknowledge your love.” Spencer stated. At this point you were crying. Lone droplets escaped your eyes and traced down your cheeks. 
“That’s how those women made you feel, right? As if you weren’t worthy to love them.” Spencer said. You could feel the hurt in his voice.
“They didn't see me.” Theo said, his voice shaky. “They didn't care!” He exclaimed taking a step forward. In doing so, his grip around you loosened completely and you were able to turn around while grabbing his arm that was holding the gun.
Theo kneed you in the stomach causing you to fall back a little. When you looked up he had the gun pointed at you. 
“If you shoot her, I shoot you.” Spencer said sternly, his weapon once again drawn and pointed at the unsub. Theo scoffed. “She's the one that hurt you, isn't she?” Spencer didn't respond. “I figure I’d be doing you a favour then.” 
The sound of the gun being cocked caused your heart to stop. Yet Spencer was quicker. He fired one shot, hitting Theo in the shoulder. This enabled you to overpower the unsub and disarm him.
“Call for backup.” The young doctor said kneeling down beside you. “Spence-” “Call for backup.” He repeated without looking at you. Without saying another word, that’s exactly what you did. 
BAU Jet
The sound of silence filled the plane. Everyone was exhausted to say the least, and catching up on necessary sleep. Yet every time you closed your eyes you felt uncomfortable. Spencer’s words from the coffeeshop kept ringing in your ears, the broken look on his face overwhelmed your brain. 
Slowly, you got to your feet and walked down the jet. The young doctor was sitting alone at the back of the aircraft, head buried in a book. 
“Hey.” You whispered loud enough to get his attention. His head popped up, his eyes met yours. “Hi.” 
“Mind if I sit down?” You asked politely pointing to the empty seat. “Not at all. Make yourself comfortable.” He placed the book down as you made yourself comfortable. 
“Can’t sleep?” “I could ask you the same thing.” Spencer replied. “Well, having a gun pointed to your head isn’t exactly dreaming material.” You breathed with a soft smile. Spencer nodded his head.
There was a brief moment of silence.
“I wanted to thank you.” You said. “For saving my life.” “I was just doing my job.” Spencer replied. “Right.” You sighed and leaned your head back on the chair, breaking eye contact.
“Y/N-” “I’m sorry Spencer.” You interrupted. Confused, the young doctor asked: “Why are you apologising?” “For hurting you.” Slowly, you tilted your head to once again look at the brown haired man. His head was down, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt.
“I’m sorry for making you feel as if you weren't worthy.” “I just said that to get the unsub’s attention. I said that so he would let you go.” “We both know that's not true Spencer.” 
The young doctor sighed. “I don't know what you want me to say Y/N.” He whispered while turning his head in your direction. “You don't need to say anything.” 
Spencer lifted his hand and slowly using one finger placed a loose strand of your hair behind your ear, his thumb brushing against your cheek as he did. A shiver ran down your spine at the touch. 
“I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.” Spencer said, his hand now holding your face. “However, you made it obvious you don’t feel that way about me so I’ve done my best to just be your friend.” He sighed. “Y/N it’s getting really hard to just be your friend.”
He let his hand fall before shifting his body weight away from you. He leaned his head against the aircraft and looked out the window. 
Tears formed in your eyes. “Spence.” You whispered but he didn't respond. Instead, the young doctor closed his eyes.
You knew better than to keep pushing. With your fingers, you wiped the tears from your face and made yourself comfortable before also closing your eyes. 
Hoping you’d drift asleep quickly your mind wondered. Tomorrow, you would talk to him again tomorrow and everything would be just fine. Right?
Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command. - Alan Watts
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masterlist
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allykakamatsu · 4 years ago
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Hypothetical P5A
Okay, gonna make this clear right up front, I wanted to make this post for a while but the main reason I decided to do it now is because the Atlus announcement thing is almost here, and also cause I saw a video on this topic by Thorgi’s Arcade (go watch it btw it’s good) and while I agree with a lot of what he said, there’s also some things I’d change, not just cause I disagree, but also cause I think it would be fun. Anyway enough beating around the bush, let’s do this
Gameplay
I’m a firm believer in the phrase, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and the Arena games are already really good so not much to change. That being said, I still wanna change some things. First off though, we are keeping this 1 vs 1, no tag team matches. The arena games already have a lot of Mechanics going on and trying to keep everything as well as some new stuff WHILE adding a tag team button, yeah no let’s not outside of maybe a bonus mode.
This means I can’t add Batton Pass in as a new mechanic to represent P5, but I have a solution, that being Technicals. Status ailments already exist in this game, so how about when you inflict one and do a specific combo you do more damage, also providing risk vs reward as the player with the status will have a better idea of what the opponent will do making them more predictable. Also as for Persona’s, mostly everyone’s will be fully evolved, minus Yu cause him getting a final boss persona normally is a tad to OP, meanwhile the P5 characters will have their starting Persona’s, but they will evolve for big moves, like awakened mode supers and instant kills
I’m also borrowing Thorgi’s Arcade idea of having supports giving a slight buff in battle, like if you pick Fuuka your meter can build faster for a bit, meanwhile if you pick Futaba you’ll get an attack and defence buff. It’s the fairest way to include them without having to make them playable. I know Rise is already playable but this roster is going to have to be small as it is, and being a support doesn’t mean you can’t be DLC later.
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Also, we’re not bringing back the Shadow Characters, just, we are not dealing with the likes of Shadow Naoto again.
:readmore:
Story
I am about to cop out a bit here, but Thorgi’s Arcade video had a really good idea for the story so I’ll just link it here https://youtu.be/yyB5rEM9UVU
youtube
To summarise for people who don’t want to watch, Nyarlathotep, the main villain from the Persona 2 games, has been gaining strength from all the suffering humanity has gone through due to 3, 4 and 5, and has gained enough strength to create a new Joker to try finish what he started and destroy the world. Mitsuru might think the Phantom Thieves are behind it cause this is clearly persona related and the fact that the leader of the PT’s is also named Joker is public knowledge, Naoto gets largely the same idea, Katsuya and Maya decide to have their own investigation, meanwhile the Phantom Thieves are trying to prove their innocence and help save the world. Nice excuse to bring everyone together, but who will the everyone be?
Base Roster
Okay, I know the dream is getting everyone from Ultimax back plus the new P5 characters, but given Arc System’s standard for small base rosters, I’m not holding my breath. The ideal would be everyone plus who I’m about to say for P2 and P5, but I’m keeping it… somewhat realistic. Anyway onto the actual size, 16 seems fair enough. One more than the most recent Guilty Gear game for a series that had pretty big success so that sound fair enough. Let’s get the obvious out of the way though, all the base 8 Phantom Thieves besides Futaba are making the cut
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Okay so that’s obvious but how will they play? Starting off with Ren/Joker, Smash Bros already laid a great foundation with him being very fast on the ground and in the air plus being great at combos, so I see no reason to change that. Also no need for him to be a Jack of all trades either cause spoilers, Yu is coming back and he already fills that role.
As for the others, Ryuji I can see being a slugger charge hybrid. Basically starting out he hits pretty hard but is a bit on the slow side to compensate, but just like any good athlete, give him a chance to warm up, ie do a charge input, and he becomes a lot faster and has better combo potential. Or we could make him a toned down version of Little Mac where he’s great on the ground but he’s in trouble the second aerial combat is involved. Then there’s Morgana who with his ability to turn into cars and the fact he introduces thief tools like smoke bombs, I can see him being a faster but frailer successor to Teddie.
Then there’s Ann who, no doubt, she’s a Zoner, and with her fire she’ll be Yukiko’s sort of successor. However instead of healing, I’d implement the fact that she learns concentrate and have it so the more she charges it up, the stronger her attacks get, but the Meter will gradually go down over the match. Yusuke, as tempting as it is to cop out and say ‘have him play like Vergil in Marvel vs Capcom’, I have a different idea. Namely, take advantage of the fact that Yusuke can learn counter by having him be the defensive specialist, set up ice traps to freeze the opponent, and if they get close, he can either counter or go for some combos.
Then there’s Makoto who would definitely be a grappler. I mean, she practices Aikido and is really strong, she can 100% pull it off. Finally Haru…… TANK! I mean come on, Haru wields an axe, has a grenade launcher, and Melady is literally a dancing tank in a pink dress, it just makes too much sense. I’d also give her a bit of armor cause if she’s slow she at least needs a chance to get her attacks in.
Okay so that’s 7 out of our 16 slots down, and given that one slot will have to be saved for the Evil Joker who would be the villain, we’re halfway done with 3 games to go, lord help me.
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Okay, starting this off with P4, I’m gonna give them more than the others purely because they were the focus of the originals and there’s less realistic cuts I can make compared to 2 and 3. To make things simple, every returning character would play the same, and as for the ones I’d bring back for the base roster, we’ve got Yu, Yosuke, Chie and Naoto. Why them specifically? Well Yu is the main character, Naoto being a detective would basically mean she’d be the one getting everyone involved in the first place, Chie is currently training to be a cop as confirmed in P5 so her getting called in makes sense, and Yosuke is the best investigator after Yu and Naoto, he’s always up for a mystery and the second he learns Yu is involved he’s joining in. I just couldn’t cut him.
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Now before the really painful cuts, Persona 2 is really easy. Out of Innocent Sin party members, by the end of the series Maya is the only one left with a Persona, and Katsuya is not only older brother of Innocent Sin’s protag Tatsuya, but he’s also pretty important and a detective so he’s definetly the one Maya’s dragging into this. As for how they play, they both use guns like Naoto, but how I’d mix them up is with Katsuya, I’d let him attack while moving (unlike Naoto who has so stay still to fire) at the cost of less combo potential, meanwhile Maya dual wields her guns so she’ll probably play like Noel Vermillion from BlazBlue where she’d more or less just use the guns to get longer reach melee attacks instead of shooting.
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Now, for the hard part. There’s only 2 slots left, one of them basically has to go to Mitsuru (not that I’m complaining I’d probably add her anyway) meaning now I have to choose between the rest of the Shadow Operatives/SEES for the last slot. I narrowed it down to the 3 that were in the original Arena cause they’re the most plot relevant, but that still meant I had to choose between Akihiko and Aigis. I ended up deciding on Aigis though cause A, with Labrys not making the base roster someone has to represent the robots of the series, and B, with Akihiko currently pulling a Ryu by travelling to get stronger, it makes more sense that Aigis would be closer and easier for Mitsuru to call up. Honestly I was tempted to bump the roster up to 17 so I could have both of them on the base roster, but this is ArcSystems, 16 is already kinda pushing it.
DLC
Given that this is a modern fighting game, DLC is inevitable. However since this DLC will likely be like Ultimax where the story acts to wrap up loose ends and have a new story, it’s going yo be big, especially since there’s going to be a fight with Nyaraloptep, so go big or go home in this case. Okay so first order of business, anyone who was in the previous arena games who wasn’t in the base roster is getting added back in, it’s only fair. That out of the way, the new faces I’d add are Futaba actually being playable now and the big 4 P5 characters I skipped, Akechi, Yoshizawa, and Sophie. Before anyone asks though, Sophie was added into a Dragalia Lost collab with Koei Techmo not being credited so she’s likely Atlus’s copyright so she's safe to add.
With that out of the way, how would they play? Starting with Futaba, I’d think she’d be the resident puppet fighter, sitting on top of Necinomicon and only occasionally adding in some of her own attacks like a projectile. Also she'd also probably act as a bit of a grappler cause her Persona has tentacles (no hentai jokes please) which have long reach so that'll be perfect for it. Next up is Akechi who I can see as semi being two characters in one. My basic idea is that at first Akechi will be fighting with Robin Hood and he'll be a solid jack of all trades with a slight focus on rush down. However once he goes into his awakened mode he'll gain Loki, which will increase his speed and attack strength, at the cost of his defence, turning him into a glass cannon.
Next is Yoshizawa, or 'Sumi as I like to call her, and her thing will be she's the mobility focused fighter, namely constantly moving around the stage and poking at her opponent while doing it, at the cost of being frail. Finally there’s Sophie who would be a combo focused zoner, as in her standard projectiles (the yo-yo’s) wouldn’t hurt that much on their own, but she can string them together into the fancy yo-yo tricks to potentially do big damage. As for how much this DLC would cost, it’s going to be very big, so €25 to €30 sounds fair
I think that more or less covers my thoughts. I could keep going on about this for a while, but I think this is a good place to stop. Hope you like my idea!
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purpleyellow · 5 years ago
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When my love blooms
BTS 8th member
Sunny’s masterlist
“Sunny's expeciences during When Our Love Blooms”
a/n: JUST FYI, Jinyoung plays a dude named Jaehyun and Sunny plays the character named Jisoo.  Your opinion is very important for me, send feedback and requests anytime 💜 Also, don’t be shy and interact a little, ask box is always open
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DAY 1
Looking at herself in the mirror, Sunny fixed her now brown hair and snapped a quick picture. Sending it to the BTS group chat with an “I should have bangs more often :p” she quickly locked her phone and put it away, leaving the small changing trailer the stylists had led her to.
“Sunny, let’s go this way so you can do a table reading before we start shooting” One of the producers called her to one big room where most of the staff were already seated in a big table.
Looking for her name tag, she saw her empty spot next to Got7’s Jinyoung, who was already seated playing on his phone. The few times Sunny had met him before, they never really interacted that much, since she usually stuck to talking to Bambam because they’ve known each other since trainees. Bowing respectfully, she sat down next to him trying not to stay too close.
“Excited to start shooting?” Jinyoung tried to make the atmosphere less awkward, turning towards her as he took a sip of his coffee.
“Yes, a little nervous as well” Sunny nodded, suddenly trying to remember all of the acting classes she had taken the week prior.
“You’ll be fine, table readings are a great way to get used to the storyline and build confidence in your character” he smiled sweetly at her.
Smiling a thanks to him, she paid attention as the director and producers started giving out tips to the actors and fully explaining the storyline to every little detail. “It’s important all of you get in sync with the ages you’ll be interpreting” was a sentence heavily repeated, since the story would be set in two different times.
After about two hours, when the meeting ended, the two idols stood up and grabbed their stuff from the table. “Your character is really in love with mine” Jinyoung nudged her with his elbow smirking.
“He’ll be just as whipped for her in less than two episodes” Rolling her eyes, Sunny joked back and started walking side by side. 
Looking around to see if anyone was paying attention, she decided to share one of her worries with him. “I know this might seem out of nowhere, but I’m dating Sehun from EXO. And by what they said a few minutes ago there will be a lot of kissing involved. Do you think I should tell him about it?” 
With wide eyes at the sudden confession, Jinyoung assessed the situation before speaking “Does he know you’re acting and I’m the love interest?” After Sunny confirmed he shrug his shoulder, face back to its relaxed state “Then it’s implied. Mentioning it to him would only make it look like it’s a bigger deal than it actually is”
Still a bit unsure about it, Sunny tried to assure herself it would be fine, Sehun had never been the jealous type and he looked very excited when she told him about the project. Sensing her uncertainty, Jinyoung placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Look, seventy percent of the shots will be manipulating camera angles and lighting, we’ll just need to stand very close to each other” She rose an eyebrow at the last part and he sighed “I swear everything will be strictly platonic, just try to look like you’re in love with me when the cameras are rolling” With a breathy laugh, Sunny calmed down a little.
DAY4
Stepping out of the fake bedroom, the girl grabbed a tissue handed by a staff member and started to dry a few tears. Waiting for the director to tell her what to do next, she looked around and found a very excited boy jumping and waving her way. 
“Okay everyone, that’s enough for today” The middle-aged man shouted and Sunny took off towards J-Hope. 
Engulfing her in a hug, he patted the top of her head and smiled brightly “I missed you so much. You’ve been working a lot lately, we barely see each other on the dorms since you always leave way too early and come home very late”
“It’ll only be for a couple of weeks. Here let’s go to catering, I haven’t eaten yet” Sunny grabbed his arm and took him to a bunch of trailers parked. 
After she got her lunch, they sat down in a table and she started eating with him stealing a couple of bites here and there. “Jungkook said he will pay you a visit as well, he’s trying to set a date with Yugyeom so they can come together”
“He’s really tight with his 97 friends huh? I wonder if he would come at all if Jinyoung wasn’t in this” Sunny rolled her eyes remembering the many times she had to repeat what she had said because Jungkook was too absorbed in his group chat to pay attention.
“Let’s just be happy he’s making friends” Hobi smiled and Sunny laughed “I’m being serious, you were very quick to befriend other idols and do your thing, I thought Kookie would never leave our side” 
“But he did talk to other people” Sunny tried to reason with him.
“Yeah, only when V or Jimin was around, the boy took introverted to another level” he looked around and reverted his gaze to her. “And you, have you made more friends here?”
“I talk with a few actors and the staff are nice I guess” Sunny shrug her shoulders “You just said I made friends easily, why so worried out of nowhere?”
“Because I know you” Hobi smiled gently at her “You probably spend most of your day worrying about doing a good job and studying the script. Not trying to break this to you, but I don’t think you’ll ever get the chance to do this again, do you really  want to let the experience pass instead of making connections and having the time of your life?”
Sighing, Sunny placed her arms on the table and looked around as well “It’s just, people here are always working. I know that seems like heaven for me, but it gets tiring only talking about techniques and obsessing over the storyline. Also, I don’t think other people are interested in talking with an idol. I’m like a choir kid who wanted to try out the drama club”
J Hope laughed at her comparison “I’m glad you’re not leaving Bangtan to become an actress then” He smirked and she rolled her eyes with a small smile “How about the other actors? I guess Jinyoung’s on the same boat as you”
“I guess so. We talk in between shots sometimes, he’s probably the closest I have to a friend” as she said that the boy raised his arms in victory.
DAY6 (yes, it was on purpose)
“Okay, cut” The director yelled and Jinyoung retreated his lips from the corner of Sunny’s mouth “Please don’t leave the phonebooth, I’m going to check if we need to do that once again”
With the amount of space restricted, Sunny rested her back on the glass and the Got7 member tried to back away as much as possible, but it wasn’t enough to be a respectable space. 
“I’m sorry if this is awkward,”  Jinyoung said looking everywhere but at her. Not that Sunny knew because she was literally doing the same. “I’d open the door, but I’m sure he’d yell at me for doing so”
The girl didn’t have time to respond back, as someone yelled they were done for the day. Finally breathing properly, she stepped out of the small place and saw Yugyeom and Jungkook on the back watching the staff work. 
Looking at Sunny with wide eyes, her groupmate walked very fast towards her and dragged her somewhere more secluded. “Do you know how intimate that looked?” he said like he was scared making the girl laugh.
“Well, it is a romantic drama. I’m sure it was supposed to look like that” she said shrugging her shoulders and leaving to get out of her costume.
Grabbing her arm again, Jungkook prevented her from moving “Still, it’s awkward. Aren’t you uncomfortable with it? We can talk to your manager and get them to change the script or something”
“Are you crazy?” Sunny put her hands on his shoulders and shook him a little, getting him out of his shock “They signed me to play their character, I’m sure they would straight up fire me if I did anything even remotely close to changing the scenes”
“Well… I-I’m uncomfortable with it” He stuttered a bit but ended up crossing his arms and fixing his posture as if he was some kind of authority, all Sunny did was raise an eyebrow at him “Sehun Hyung won’t like this either. Plus you’re like a child, isn’t this like, illegal?”
“I’m literally a year younger than you” she reminded him,
“Well, it’s legal then” He nodded “But, Sehun? Does he know this?”
“Of course, I’m not going to lie to him about where I spend most of my day”
“I’m not talking about that” it was Jungkook’s turn to raise an eyebrow, making Sunny sigh.
“I haven’t told him about the kisses, if that’s even what they are, but he does know I have a love interest” She linked arms with him and started walking towards a trailer, she desperately wanted to get out of those clothes and go home “I’m scared if I talk too much about it it’s going to seem like I care too much about what’s going on”
“But if you don’t it might seem like you’re trying to hide something” Jungkook pointed out being led by her “If it were me I’d want to know. I would probably become petty though”
“Yeah, you would” Sunny smiled at his personality.
“What do you mean by those not being kisses by the way?”
“Oh. Fake kisses are so boring, like, lips aren’t even fully touching. Plus, the real feeling of-”
“That’s enough” He cut her off flustered “ I already know that I don’t know why I needed for you to say it. Please forget I even asked”
DAY 7
“So, that’s what has been going on” Sunny said to her phone. Pacing from one side to the other on the empty makeup trailer.
“Okay” She heard Sehun’s muffled laugh on the other side “I already know you would be doing stuff like that. It does worry me a little that something made you feel like you had to tell me this now”
“I had talked with Jinyoung about this and he told me it wasn’t a big deal, but Jungkook came yesterday and said it would be better if you were aware”
“Oh, so you asked your fake boyfriend what to do about your real boyfriend?” Sunny could feel him smirking through the phone and unconsciously rolled her eyes.
“This really isn’t going to become a problem right?” She stopped pacing and faced her brunette figure in the mirror.
“Trust me it isn’t. You’re going to give me double the kisses to make up though” Sunny smiled at his silliness “I have to go right now. I love you”
“I love you too” she blew a kiss and he hung up.
Leaving the trailer, she saw Jinyoung also walking towards the set she was going to. “Hey, settled everything with the boyfriend?” 
“Yeah, and he said he already expected it” Sunny started walking with him, the space between them enough to fit another person.
“I told you, you should have trusted Sunbae” Jinyoung smiled at her, using his nickname from the drama, and Sunny rolled her eyes once again.
“Keep talking like that, and I’ll have to start calling you Jaehyun” she spoke with a mischievous grin and it was his turn to roll his eyes.
“Aah Jisoo, your friendship means the world to me”
2 Months later
Sunny was laying on her bed while scrolling through social media and checking out people’s reviews on the latest episode when her notification bar rolled down showing a new message from Sehun 
“Come to my place, we need to talk”
(please don’t kill me, pt 2 will be coming soon)
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matth1w · 6 years ago
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I was wondering if you could write this please: Imagine being Lucifer Morningstar’s long term girlfriend but as a result of fearing the relationship isn’t going anywhere she leaves him. Then after some time she’s a witness in an investigation and Lucifer later will propose to her? Thank you!!
Witness
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Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Reader
Summary: After the fear of your relationship going nowhere, you end things with Lucifer. End of the story, right? Well you just so happen to witness a drive-by and get wrapped up in the Devil again.
Warnings: Breakup, angst, language, some anxiety/panic
Rating: Everyone
Word Count: 4,715. Yes, you read that correctly, 4,715 words.
Note: This is mostly sad but does have a happy ending. I hope you enjoy this, Nonnie. It certainly took a life of its own!
Tags: @kittenlittle24
As a wedding photographer, you were definitely put off with the whole overpriced over the top wedding culture that infected LA. And you had to deal with a plenty couples and guests that were just straight jerks, entitled brats, and thought they could do your job on the freaking iPhone 4.
That said, sometimes it did get to you. You wanted it. Well some of it. None of the family arguments or drama but the ability to stand with your partner and dedicate yourselves to each other in front of your family and friends.
But alas, that didn’t seem to be in the cards for you. You and Lucifer had been together almost five years now and there was nothing that indicated he wanted to take the next step with you.
Sure marriage seemed trivial when you were with the literal Devil, but you couldn’t help but want something more. Of course you trusted him, you knew his flirting was harmless and he would never think of acting on his - or someone else’s - desires.
But… still
Sure you should talk to him like an adult and tell him how you were feeling but that doesn’t always happen.
You had come home after a Sunday wedding, a Catholic one nonetheless. With a full mass. And a reception across town from the ceremony. To say you were exhausted was an understatement.
The only consolation was that the couple was going on a technology-free honeymoon for a few weeks and wouldn’t be bothering you for photos tomorrow like some clients.
Sore feet, a slight headache, and just general annoyance were plaguing you. So it’s no wonder a fight broke out.
You were pouring yourself a glass of water when the elevator doors opened, revealing Lucifer. You paid him no mind but apparently he had other plans.
“Another wedding?”, he sighed as he gave you a once over.
You frowned at that, “Yep”, you bit back with a touch too much of bitterness.
“I don’t understand why you insist on doing those silly things.”
You slammed your glass down.
“Silly?” You spat. “Silly, Lucifer?”
He was looking at you, shocked but annoyed at your outburst.
“Yes, silly, darling. They’re just excuses to party and for women to pretend like they’re the most important princess in the world.”
You stepped forward and pointed your finger at him.
“Newsflash, Morningstar. Some people just want something more than being boyfriend and girlfriend for the rest of their lives.”
“Rest of their lives? Is this about us? It’s only been five years, Y/N.”
“Yeah, and some of these fucks get married after one. It’s been five years, Lucifer, and nothing has changed. You haven’t mentioned marriage once aside from criticizing my clients.”
“And what? You want to get married? Is that what this is about?”
“Yes, for God’s sake!”, you shouted.
“Well why didn’t you just say that?”
“Because, Lucifer, I know you don’t. And seemingly never will.”
His eyes narrowed at that. “And you’re so sure of that? Without having even spoken to me?”
You crossed your arms and looked at him accusingly.
“You want to get married?”
Lucifer paused at that, mouth open but saying nothing.
“That’s what I thought.” Tears started to build up in your eyes. “Well. I think that shows this isn’t meant to be. Wish you wouldn’t have wasted so much of my time.”
“Y/N….”
“It’s over, Lucifer. I’ll get my stuff and get out of your life by the end of the week.”
You didn’t look back as you stepped into the elevator and let the doors close.
— — —
15 months later...
‘Oh fuck’, was your first thought.
Not because there was a dead person in front of you, but because you witnessed it. And because you witnessed it, you’d need to go down to the station. And you just knew you would run into Lucifer.
You looked down at your phone to send a text to Dan. You hadn’t spoken since you and Lucifer broke up so you kept it brief. Hopefully he’d give you a break.
-Just witnessed a drive-by on 15th & Hill. Can I give my statement at a later time when you know who won’t be there?-
Your phone rang and you cursed. You thought about just shutting off your phone but you knew that would just cause more trouble.
You clicked accept and brought the phone to your ear.
“Hey D-“
“Are you alright, Y/N? Are you still on the scene? Stay where you are. We’re on our way.”
“Dan! I’m fine. I’m fine.” You pressed.
“And who do you mean by we? I’d prefer to not have to see anyone I don’t need to.”
“Sorry, Y/N, but Chloe and Lucifer are already on their way to the scene. I can be the one to take your statement but I won’t be able to get there before them.”
‘Great’, you thought.
You sighed, “That’s fine, Dan. See you soon.”
“See you soon.”
You hung up and looked around. A small crowd had begun to form.
‘Might as well try to blend in’.
You spent the next few minutes on your phone, trying to blend in with the crowd and keep your head down.
A throat pointedly cleared behind you and you knew who it was before you turned.
You met the eyes of Lucifer, unable to look away. He was trying to mask whatever emotions he was feeling and gave you a fake sugary sweet smile.
“A little douchie told me you witnessed the shooting. I have to say I’m glad you’re alright but I’m rather surprised you called Daniel. Actually, I guess I’m not since you blocked my number and all that.”
You looked down. You didn’t want to just go out and say ‘I was trying to avoid you because I was - and still am - broken hearted’, so instead you just looked away.
“Lucifer!”, Chloe yelled from her place above the body.
She looked at you and smiled with a visible amount of pity clear on her face.
“Well. If you’ll excuse me, Y/N.” He said with a huff, shrugging his suit jacket and straightening his cuff links.
Cuff links, you noted, that weren’t the ones you had gotten him for your third anniversary and had worn ever since.
You let out the breath you had been holding and slumped as he walked back to the scene.
Thankfully, Chloe was able to keep Lucifer preoccupied for the next few minutes until Dan arrived.
You felt mixed feelings seeing your old friend and ex-boyfriend’s coworker but relief overcame everything else.
At least you could get out of there.
Dan walked over to you with open arms. You accepted the hug and gave him a thankful smile.
“Well, wanna hop in and head over to the station? Shouldn’t take more than an hour.”
You shrugged, “Sounds good. Thanks again, Dan. Hope I’m not being too much of a bother.”
He waved his hand, “Nah, gives me a chance to get some fresh air. Plus I haven’t seen you in forever.”
You gave an awkward smile at that and didn’t comment. You didn’t know what all Lucifer had said about your breakup and realized how awkward the situation was.
Biting your tongue, you walked to the car and hopped in. Thankfully, Dan was pretty silent, turning on the radio to instead fill the air.
Once at the station, you walked in and were hit with a wave of memories. You would often come down to grab lunch with Lucifer, help celebrate birthdays, or bring treats to help when the team was dealing with a difficult case.
You tried to steel your face but Dan was already looking at you.
Thankfully he didn’t say anything. Opting instead to lead you to the interrogation room.
Once inside you sat down at the metal table. You took a moment to breathe, just trying to get through this then you could go back to how things were.
When you looked up at Dan, you saw him standing by the door, looking somewhat nervous.
“Hey, uh, can I ask you something?”, he asked while moving to sit down across from you.
You nodded. Fairly certain what he was going to ask about.
“What happened with you and Lucifer? I mean... you guys seemed lso happy.”
“Lu didn’t tell you?”
“Nah. None of the details anyway. Just that you had some big fight and he was an idiot about it.”
You chuckled dryly. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it. I mean, I was too. Probably more so than him.”
You cleared your throat, “Anyway, that’s behind me. I mean it’s been over a year, it’s time to move on.”
“You really think so?”, Dan asked.
“Yeah. Well I’m sure he already has. And then some. So I might as well...” you saw Dan looking at you like you sprouted another head. “What?”
He laughed, “Nothin’. I just...” he cocked his head and paused, trying to think of how best to phrase it.
“Between you and me, that’s not the case.”
You gave a half smile, knowing what he was trying to say.
“And who knows? It might be worth trying again.”
“I don’t think there’s any fixing things.” You sighed and lowered your head.
Dan gave you a gentle nudge on the shoulder across the table. Like he had so many times before.
“People reconcile all the time. I mean, look at me and Chloe.”
You looked up again at that.
“You two are officially back together?”
“Yeah,” he said with a laugh. “Surprisingly it’s thanks to Luc-“
He coughed awkwardly. “Well. Anyway... want to get into your statement?”
You sighed. Relieved to be talking about the shooting rather than hear more about your ex.
— — —
You stood up after giving your statement to Dan. He went to open the door but paused.
“Hey, I know things... you know... Anyway, it was good seeing you, Y/N. Even under these circumstances. You don’t have to be a stranger.”
You smiled sadly at that.
“Yeah. It was good to see you too. I’m happy to hear about you and Chlo.”
Dan smiled and pressed the file in his hands.
“Well, ready to go?”
“Yep. No offense but I just want to go home.”
He laughed in response to that, “Yeah I get that. Lucifer always said you never liked the whole crime thing.”
You started to laugh but fell silent, realizing how easy it was to fall back into your friendship with Dan and just how much you missed your old life.
Dan opened the door for you and you walked through. Unhappy but not surprised at the sight before you. Lucifer stood on the bottom of the stairs.
“Hey, you good?” Dan muttered to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.
You kept your eyes on Lucifer, who prickled at the sight of Dan touching you.
You looked away and smiled at Dan.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
You walked up to Lucifer and smiled briefly before having to take your eyes away. It was hard just being near him. Looking into those beautiful brown eyes was simply too much.
Lucifer smiled softly at you, that cautious, nervous smile he wore when you two had first started dating.
“Let me drive you home?”
You wanted to agree but then remembered home wasn’t what it had been for so long. Now you were in a new home. And you were unsure about letting him inside it. It was a sanctuary from him. You tried desperately to focus on life without him and it helped having a place he had never been.
“I...” you were unsure of what to do until you saw the pleading look in his eyes. You relented.
“Sure”
You walked side by side with Lucifer, and it felt so strange not holding hands or being close. You stopped once you entered the parking garage. For some reason your didn’t realize you’d be taking the Corvette.
You had so many memories in the passenger seat of that car. Driving through the hills and the wind flowing through your hair, late night drives with music blasting and singing together at the top of your lungs, holding hands on the shift, peppering kisses on his cheek and lips at red lights...
It was too much.
All too much.
Tears started to come forward and you sniffled, trying to conceal your emotions but only achieving in alerting him. I mean, you had stopped in your tracks at the sight of the Corvette and were now trying not to cry. But still, it was embarrassing.
And how would you ride in his car next to him? Being so close to him, in the car you two shared so many memories in, taking him to your new home.
House, not home. He was home. And nowhere you were without would ever be home.
Too much.
You wrung your hands, starting to panic. “I, uh, thanks for the offer Luci, but I actually forgot something inside so go ahead without me.”
It was a shitty lie that you knew Lucifer saw right through, angelic abilities or not. He looked down and tossed the keys in his hand before putting them back in his pocket.
“Right. Well, have a good night, Y/N/N.”
He tried to smile at you but it was just a pitiful look. You met his eyes once more, trying to ignore their shiny mistiness that matched yours.
You smiled one last time, knowing the dam would break any moment. You couldn’t trust your voice so you simply nodded and turned around to walk back.
Once you exited the garage and out of sight, you let out a sob as your back hit the concrete wall. This was all too much. There was too much pain, guilt, regret, and still... love.
That’s what was hardest about seeing him again. The love that was still there and would never leave.
— — —
Once the Uber dropped you off and you went inside your house, you slumped against the wall.
That night, all you could bring yourself to do was cry yourself to sleep.
— — —
The next morning you woke up to a missed call and voicemail. It was from the number you had blocked, then unblocked, then deleted, but never forgot.
You pressed the phone to your ear and heard the soft voice your heard a thousand times before.
“Hello, love. I’m glad to see my call went through. Though I suppose you’re still ignoring my calls. Or sleeping. You always were a sound sleeper... Anyway, just wanted to make sure you got home alright. The Detective said there’s nothing to worry about with the drive-by. Just a silly turf war so we passed it on the gang unit. So... I suppose we won’t run into each other again. It was nice to see you though, darling. I... I miss you.”
There was an extended pause at the end of the message and you expected more but were only met with silence as the voicemail ended.
You looked down at your phone, finger hesitating above the return call button. You didn’t move, instead letting the screen darken.
— — —
You had been avoiding your phone like the plague all morning and afternoon. Doing everything you could to avoid it. You cleaned the house, did laundry, and took a long shower. But finally, you gave in and grabbed it once more.
You saw no messages or missed calls and decided to make that call before you could think twice.
As it rang, your nerves grew.
‘What would you say? Would he even answer? Of course he would answer. He called you. Said he missed you. But would he answ—‘
“Hello?” His voice broke through your cycle of thoughts. Unprepared, you couldn’t reply.
“Y/N, darling, are you there?”, he said with a edge of worry.
You swallowed before responding.
“Yeah, Luci. I’m here.” Your voice broke at the last word.
“Are you okay, love?” Lucifer sounded understandably even more worried now.
You sniffled and nodded. Not trusting your voice but you realized he couldn’t see you.
“Yeah. I’m- I’m fine. I just uh, got your message.”
Lucifer sighed slightly, relieved you were alright.
“Yes. My apologies if I was too forward.”
You gave a halfhearted laugh, “No, it wasn’t.”
You paused. “I- I miss you too.”
Lucifer was silent. For so long you thought the call had been disconnected.
“Luci?”
“Yes. I’m- I’m here darling. Can I... see you?”
You smiled and sniffled again. Your tears slightly turning to ones of happiness.
“Yes. Of course. I would... like that.”
“How about tonight then? I’ll close Lux and we can order that Indian food you love.”
You smiled, “You don’t have to close Lux for me, Luci.”
“I’d do anything for you, darling.”
He cleared his throat.
“Anyway, tonight? Seven?”
“Yeah. I’ll... see you then.”
“See you then, my dear.” Lucifer said quietly.
As you pulled the phone away from your ear and ended the call, you felt lighter. Lighter than you had since...
You checked the time on your phone and decided to try to focus on getting ready, rather than think more.
— — —
At 6:55, you were standing outside Lux’s front door. With a shaky breath, you stepped inside.
True to his word, Lux was empty sans Lucifer sitting at the piano, playing an unfamiliar tune slowly. Lost in the song, Lucifer didn’t notice you until you had descended the stairs and were leaning against the bar.
He closed the lid and turned on the bench to you.
“Did you like it?”
You nodded. “Yeah. It was beautiful. Though, I don’t recognize it.”
He smirked. “Well I would hope not. I wrote it myself.”
You couldn’t help but be surprised. In all the time you had known Lucifer he hadn’t written anything. Especially not a full song.
He sighed then gave you a smile that you knew was hiding his true feelings.
‘Something about that song...’
Before either of you could continue, a man entered, carrying bags labeled with your favorite Indian place. Just as Lucifer had promised.
Luci climbed the stairs to greet him and grabbed the food. Slipping an extra hundred in the man’s hand as he held the door open for him.
You smiled at Lucifer as he came back downstairs. “You always were the best tipper.”
He laughed, “What, that? An old friend told me about the importance of tipping and I guess it’s been a habit ever since.”
You looked down and smiled. You remembered that. It was one of your first dates. Like Lucifer said, he was always extra generous after that.
“Anyway!”, he said lifting up the bags, “Ready to eat?”
You nodded, almost drooling. You hadn’t been to the restaurant since last year and you knew by the smell Lucifer had gotten your favorite.
Luci set the table, and by setting the table, you meant taking the containers out of the bag and opening the packets of plastic silverware.
You looked at the food on the table then back to Lucifer as he waited for you to sit. It wasn’t right though. You scrunched your nose without realizing and Luci laughed. That hearty laugh when you did something ridiculous.
“Oh, you haven’t changed one bit, dear. Come, let’s move to the couch.”
You smiled brightly at him, thankful he could remember your quirks.
You two sat down nearby each other, with some room in between, thanks to the large Lux couches compared to the ones he had upstairs.
You filled the air with happy noises of content and talking about what antics Maze and Amenadiel had gotten up to. It was light, fun, and exactly what you needed.
Once your bellies were full, you both sighed happily.
“That was wonderful, thanks Luci. I haven’t had them since...” you trailed off.
He nodded, “Me neither.”
You looked down at your hands, feeling the shift in the mood.
“About that, darling.”, Luci said, scooting slightly towards you.
You furrowed your brow, “Do we have to?”
Lucifer smiled at your whine. “Unfortunately, I think we do.”
At your silence Lucifer cleared his throat.
“I’ll start.” He looked at you and waited until you met his eyes.
“I’m so terribly sorry for everything I said and more so for the things I didn’t.”
You nodded, biting your lip and trying to hide the tears that were soon to come.
Lucifer scooted closer to you and placed his hand on your back, hesitantly and then more firmly after you hadn’t shaken it away.
“Darling, you have to understand the whole marriage thing was so foreign to me. And the whole swearing before Dad bit just seemed ridiculous.”
At your pointed look he stopped speaking for a moment.
“What I’m trying to say is that I didn’t realize it was so important to you. And I’m sorry. I should have asked. I assure you, if I had known I would have married you the day I met you, Y/N. I knew from the moment I met you you were the one for me.”
“Are you just saying that?”, you questioned. Somewhat insecure.
“No. Of course not, darling. You know I can’t lie.”
At your small smile he continued.
“After you left, I was broken, lost. And when I realized what a mistake I had made, I wanted nothing more than to make it right.”
“So why didn’t you?”, thankfully the tears hadn’t come and your voice was stronger.
“You looked happy,” he sighed. “You seemed to be doing things you always spoke about doing. I didn’t want to ruin that. I thought you were better off.”
“I wasn’t better, Luci. I was just as broken and lost as you were. The reason I was trying new things was because I had to distract myself. It was the only way for me to keep going.”
You leant your head against his shoulder with a sigh. “I’m sorry too, Luci. I should have spoken to you about it earlier. And I shouldn’t have blown up on you like I did.”
You pulled back to look up at him.
“I’m so sorry, Luci. I’m a terrible idiot.”
He smiled down at you and caressed your cheek softly.
“I forgive you, darling.”
The sincerity in his voice broke the dam and you let out a broken sob.
He pulled you in tight and let you cry into his chest, mumbling assurances that he forgave you every time you apologized.
You don’t know when you’d stopped crying. Maybe you ran out of tears.
All you knew was that you awoke some time later. Your throat was dry, eyes puffy, and neck hurt from how you had slept. But, you also felt relaxed. Lighter from the confessions and the tears.
You frowned as you were alone. You rubbed your eyes and picked up your phone on the nearby table. Underneath it was a folded piece of paper with your name written in Lucifer’s handwriting.
You opened and read the note.
My love,
My apologies for not being by your side as you wake up and instead having to leave this. I had to go to a scene. I tried not to but the Detective guilt tripped me. Awful thing to do, really.
Anyway, I assume you’re probably sore from sleeping on this couch. I assure you I tried to get you to come to bed or even on the more comfortable couches upstairs but, well, you know how stubborn and persuasive you can be. Especially when you’re half asleep...
I know you have things to do so I won’t expect you when I return. But I do hope to see you again soon, darling.
With love,
Lucifer
P. S. Maze insisted on watching you sleep. Not me.
You looked around and found Maze behind the bar. You jumped, she was always so quiet.
“Maze?”, you asked.
She frowned at you while she pushed away from the bar but when she approached she pulled you into a tight hug.
“I’m so glad you’re back. Lucifer’s been miserable without you.”
You laughed as you pulled away, “Sorry about that. But I’m not back.”
“But I thought...?”she said with confusion on her face.
“I mean... we just hung out last night. Nothing’s official.”
“Hmmph.” She smirked. “But from what Lucifer told me, you’ll be back.”
You shook your head in happy exasperation.
“Oh Maze. I could always count on you to say the things Lucifer was always too afraid to.”
Maze smiled proudly at that,
“Like how he wanted to marry you?”
You practically choked.
“I’m sorry, what??”
She shrugged, but had her signature smirk.
“Yeah...” she said with fake nonchalance, swirling her drink.
“He had a ring for over a month. But kept backing out because he was ‘unsure you would want to marry the Devil’.”
She added with air quotes at the end.
“And even though I’m dedicated to Lucifer for the rest of eternity, I totally take your side on this one. Dumbass said he didn’t need to talk to you about marriage and already knew how you felt. Saying you didn’t like weddings or something because you were always so sour after shooting them. And I told him, well maybe you were sour because you wanted to stop working them and have your own. But you know how Lucifer is.”
She rolled her eyes and took a quick swig of her drink.
“Once he gets a self-deprecating thought in his head, he can’t get it out. Ugh, daddy issues, am I right?”
You laughed, oh how you missed Maze.
— — —
“So are we doing this?”, you whispered into his chest as he held you tight that night.
He moved his head so he could smile softly down at you.
“Yes, I do believe so.”
You smiled back at up him.
“One condition.”
At his raised eyebrow you smirked.
“You have to ask me out again. You’re not getting off so easily, Luci.”
“Getting off, you say?” With a chuckle. But then he got more serious.
“But I’m afraid I can’t do that darling. Well, rather, I don’t particularly want to.”
Your heart dropped and face fell.
“What?”
“I don’t want to ask you out again.”
“But —“
Lucifer pulled away from you and reached into the pocket inside his suit jacket.
“Darling. I don’t want to simply be boyfriend and girlfriend again. I want you...”
He dropped to his knee, maintaining eye contact with you.
“I want you to be my wife, Y/N.”
You gasped, frozen in place.
“Darling, the moment I met you was the best of my life. And I’m so sorry for not asking sooner, but please. I’m asking now. Will you marry me?”
You stared at Lucifer on his knee before you, holding up a velvet box with an otherworldly beautiful ring inside. Your vision began to blur, and you hastily wiped the tears away.
Seeing him clear before you, nervous, in love, and vulnerable, you couldn’t help but laugh. You brought your hands to his face and gave him a searing kiss that spoke volumes, full of apologies, love, and dedication.
As you pulled back, lips lingering, and pressed your forehead against his, you opened your eyes to stare into his.
“Yes”, you whispered, nodding and smiling. Starting to tear up again.
Lucifer’s face lit up with joy.
“Yes?”
“Yes!” You exclaimed, your smile matching his.
You both looked down as Lucifer took the ring from the box and slipped it on your finger.
You admired its intricacy and perfection for a moment before looking up at your now fiancé.
“I...” you began, trying to quell the tears.
“I... thank you, Luci.”
He laughed at that, unable to stop smiling.
“Darling, I’m the one who should be thanking you. You’re the light of my life.”
You smirked, unable to help yourself. “That’s rich coming from you, Morningstar.”
He closed his eyes and groaned. Trying to hide his smile.
“Back to the puns are we?”
You laughed and automatically responded, “You love me!”
You paused. Partially at the old phrase and at his serious face. Lucifer stroked your cheek.
“I do, my dear. I never stopped and never will.”
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twixtandshout · 4 years ago
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Tagged by @pidgeonpostal! And not tagging anyone else because I have SOILED the original template (soiled it!!) in deference to my [brushes off skirt] mostly clean public-facing appearance.
...I’ve been making a lot of Spongebob memes lately for someone who has not seen Spongebob.
How many works do you have on AO3?
71!
What’s your total AO3 wordcount?
...306,834. Jesus.
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
Uh. Many! I do a lot of one-offs (and/or start long things I never finish) in many different places. My top three fandoms by fics written are RWBY (29), Undertale (25), Gravity Falls/Transcendence AU (4).
Bet you can’t tell where my hyperfixations have fallen. 
I’ve also got some Pokémon and Sonic the Hedgehog fics back on my ff.net account, or I think I still do, anyway, but let’s never go back there pls
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. Sweeter Than Honey (Undertale): Taking a Completely unsurprising first place, with over 600 more kudos than the runner-up, the haphazard Underswap fic featuring a post-college self-insert I wrote just after high school! I shake my head some at how overblown and ridiculous the gap between this and all my other stuff is (c’mon, guys, I’ve written way better fics), but this is also the fic which prompted me (and at least one other person!) to start using they/them pronouns. I’ve gotten a lot of really sweet comments about how seen and appreciated it’s made people feel, so I can’t get down too far about it.
2. To Be A Hero (BNHA): I don’t count myself as part of the BNHA fandom, for a number of reasons, but for something that’s arguably the main motivation for the entire plot, Midoriya’s quirklessness is something I’ve never thought has been handled well. This fic marked the first time I (somewhat tentatively) claimed the disability label (thanks again to Sweeter Than for prompting that realization) to hold that lens over canon. It also really shot up my chart, dang! It’s the only thing here I’d consider “recent.”
3. Three-Sentence Shipping (Undertale): Self-explanatory.
4. Brothers Beyond Bonedaries (Undertale): Ah, the way-overcomplicated AU³ I got nowhere close to finishing. One of the things I really like about Undertale is the interface screw, how Toby Fox uses the medium of the video game to pull off crazy things and enhance his game, but most of the fic written for the fandom seems dedicated to explaining it away, grounding it, rather than taking it to the next step and messing with the medium of fanfiction when you keep the story going. I tried to do something cool like that here, playing with questions like narrator and authorship and breaking the fourth wall, even taking the “final boss” fight to a “totally separate” fic reached through the first by link – but, well, then I never finished it, which probably didn’t make anything less confusing for the poor folks who missed the intent.
5. Spirit and Such (Gravity Falls: Transcendence AU): A whole fic written to line out a particular image I had, which, naturally, never made it to the page. I consider it a bit of a cautionary tale for myself when it comes to writing (near-)original content; there’s a lot I look back on and cringe. I still love the characters, though – well, the important ones – and I think just stepping away from the tried-and-true Mizar formula nets it a star sticker here.
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
>w>; I try, but a lot of the time I just don’t have anything to say? Like, oh, you liked it? Neat. There’s not much to respond to in comments like that, and then I’m weighing falling down on an ~obligation~ to respond to every message in my inbox vs annoying people with copy-paste fluff responses all down the page. Plus I know I make more of an effort to comment on things that didn’t get the attention I feel they deserve, so if I’m driving up my own comment count with nonsense, am I preventing myself from being in a position to receive more comments later? And then if I do comment, am I being too effusive or running people’s ears off explaining things they don’t actually need to know? Sometimes people just want to express interest or admiration and don’t necessarily want a whole peek and guided tour behind the curtain.
Can you tell I have anxiety? x3;
Anyway, I do respond when I can. And I keep most of the comments I’ve gotten to go back and reread. 
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Hm, hmm. Lots of stuff in the TQ Nonsense series would probably qualify! I’m thinking of Unfixable, Wolfsong, and Ethanol. And there’s Bursting Through A Blood-Red Sky (I Can Live, I Can Breathe), of course, but that was always intended to have a fix-it epilogue. It’s just that I wrote it in a couple of hours day-of, stared at it, and decided I didn’t wanna just then. But now that’s As Long As You’re Still Burning Bright (I’m Still Awake), and that’s probably the best romance I’ve written, so that one worked out.
Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?
Now and then! When the urge strikes. Uhhh, I’ve got a series of Doctor Who x Undertale crossovers I actually made a whole dang verse for that never made it to print. Get a couple great comments on that every few months or so. I think the World Trigger x Undertale crossover is probably weirder, though, by virtue of WT being a very small fandom. My enthusiasm kinda sputtered out on that one.
Mostly I just daydream crossovers with whatever happens to catch my eye at any given moment. I have a lot!!!! Though odds are out on whether I manage to remember any of them once the initial thought’s passed, lol.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Gotten a couple eyebrow-raising comments, but I think mostly I’m just too small a writer to draw that kind of attention.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don’t? think so? Think my tastes are a little niche for most people to bother ^^;
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I had someone apologize once for any language mistakes in their comment cause they had to run it through a translator! That’s not what you asked (the answer is no), but it’s very flattering to think that someone liked my fic enough to read and comment despite the language barrier.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! :D @pidgeonpostal was gracious enough to agree to co-write Five Nights at Denny’s with me off an idea about shoes. This has fulfilled a long-held dream of mine (collabing with someone, not the shoes) and also introduced me to some lovely people.
What’s your all time favorite ship?
Who has time for just one? ;3c Honestly, I care more about the characters and how the relationship – any relationship – between them changes them than I do about ~A Ship~ as a solid, bounded noun-object. I’ve got characters I like more and less and feelings about who does and doesn’t have chemistry in which directions with whom, but finding anything that agrees with those preferences is hard, harder when you take alloromanticism into account. I’ll play in any sandbox with cool toys, especially if other folks have already built sick sandcastles there.
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
[kicks every single unfinished fic further under the bed] What nooo no WIPs here, everything on my account is either finished or does not exist
I’ve got a couple extra chapters of Sweeter Than floating around unposted, but 1. that fic’s a mess 2. high school Twixt and post-college Twixt are different people and trying to contort myself into three other me-shapes just cause people Like this fic is not something I’m super interested in 3. it’s headed for an emotional dip and I’d rather leave it where it is than post two chapters, stall out again, and leave folks with a bad end.
As for other fics... it’s looking more and more likely that v7 of my Yellow Brick Road AU will never actually make it out. >w>; I’ve got some really great ideas, but not enough to make me feel like I know what I’m doing, and that’s a big roadblock. Plus trying to engage with RT’s Atlas-Mantle worldbuilding in any serious capacity is... a headache. I can’t recommend the Happy Huntress Cinematic Universe enough, but it leaves some pretty big shoes to follow! And I’ve got small feet. <w<;
What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue’s fun, probably as an extension of characterization. I love tearing into what makes people tick, especially against the backdrop of their environment, the story they’re in, and the people they’re up against. Voice is a double-edged sword; I’ve been told my writing is really recognizable and individual, but on the other hand, I’ve been growing frustrated with with the limits of my narrative ability. There’s a strong rhythm I keep when I write (you might notice it here, even) but that leaves me feeling predictable and stale. I’m not sure I’m great at setting as a matter of course, but I’m pretty good at describing setpieces where the need comes up; that comes from my background in poetry, as does the fun I have with sublimating and abstracting complex imagery. And I think I bring some needed nuance to the universal. For good or ill, I don’t do what “everyone else” is doing.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Well, writing, for one thing. If I don’t know how something’s going to go and don’t have the urge to write it, it isn’t getting done, which means there’s a billion things that will never see the page and a few hundred more that are never getting finished. I lose momentum easily and have a hard time getting started, and I put way too much standing on finding a foothold with other people; as critical as I am of my work, I have high expectations for the stuff that passes muster, and it never seems to measure up. I’m also really uncreative. Yeah, I can mix up elements and extrapolate events, but coming up with things wholesale is really hard, which is why I avoid it wherever possible and steal/reskin stuff from other places instead.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
Something along the lines of “Hoo boy, I am Not qualified for this but hopefully it’s decent anyway.” Maria’s Spanish lines haven’t been a big deal – I’ve used it sparingly and, as a Latin language, it should be easy for English-speaking audiences to pick up on the gist – but I’ve had a harder time with Tai’s Chinese, both because I have Even Less background there and because it is, of course, an entirely different language system. If I write it out in English or Romanized italics, am I colonizing it or changing the meaning? If I write it out in the presumed-original characters (presumed because it’s Google Translate and who knows if I’m even barking in the right forest), am I confusing or alienating my presumed-majority-English-speaking audience? Where should I put the translations? Should I put the translations? And for Frisk’s sign language, thinking back, are the brackets I used instead of quotes alienating/infantilizing? I like that different characters give the text between a different feel, but I’m not an ASL speaker – and I’m pretty sure the word is “speaker,” which would only reinforce that that demographic would rather I didn’t do that. It’s important for all these characters, I think, that they use non-English language where it makes sense; it’s part of who they are. But as a white monolingual English-speaker, I don’t think I can really weigh in.
What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?
Thaaaat’d be Pokémon, followed closely with Sonic the Hedgehog. Whether those fics are still on my ff.net account or not (pretty sure I’ve purged them, but you never know) I’ve still got a couple saved to a folder on my current laptop, ostensibly so I can look back and see how far I’ve come and more practically to allow for the possibility of furthering group cohesion through public shaming.
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
I still like the idea behind The Man Who Is Atlas, and Burning Bright (Still Awake) gets props for being my current fic, though it’s currently in that spot where I’m excited to get new chapters posted but also quietly marking everything up in red pen. I think Harbinger gets the crown here, at least for now.
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angelofthequeers · 5 years ago
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Not a Good Look: Chapter 2
Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | AO3 link
@thequeenofpotatoeunicornss tagged as requested :)
Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.
Adrien’s not sure whether Marinette’s garbled confession shuts his brain down or kickstarts it into lightspeed. Marinette…loves him? One of his best friends is in love with him? How could he have never seen it before? All this time, he’s been worried that she’s secretly hated him, but it’s the opposite entirely!
“But the wax statue thing,” is the first thing his mouth blurts out, while his brain still tries to reboot. “You said you didn’t –”
“I lied!” Marinette shrieks in his face. Then she whimpers and curls away from him, just like she’d done that time. “I…you said there was this other girl that you loved, and I didn’t want to get between you and Kagami –”
“Kagami?” Oh. Dear lord. So many things are starting to fall into place. “I like her a lot, Marinette, and we kissed after we got ice cream on the Seine with our friends but, well…I felt like there was something, you know…missing. And so did she. So, we agreed to put things on hold until we figure it out, so we didn’t hurt each other by trying to force something. And, um…she wasn’t the girl I was referring to in the car. But what about you? I know you like Luka.”
“Oh. Yeah, Luka’s nice and supportive and super sweet, and I really like him as a friend, but he’s not – he’s never been…”
He’s not you. He’s never been you, rings loud and clear between them. Marinette looks away, fiddling with one of her pigtails. It breaks Adrien’s heart to see his friend like this, hurting because of him, and if Ladybug wasn’t in the picture – if only Ladybug wasn’t around – then he could fix that pain. He could take her hands and look into her bluebell eyes and let himself love her, because falling for Marinette is as easy as breathing, but Adrien can’t let himself fall for his friend and betray his lady like that. And he especially can’t betray Kagami like that, because he genuinely does love her, but could he pick between these three girls if it came down to it? His love for Ladybug has been longer, lasting through every battle they’ve fought by each other’s sides, but his love for Kagami is like a thunderstorm: wild and fierce, looming on him and then capturing him in an iron grip.
“And I also think Kagami could tell that I, um…I think I’ve always felt something more for you,” he says. Marinette’s head whips around, and her cheeks are dark pink, and her blue eyes are wide, and the sight is just so…Marinette. If someone looked up the dictionary definition of beauty, Marinette’s name would be right there next to Ladybug’s, with Kagami filling in a separate definition of her own, because the way in which she’s beautiful is as different to Marinette and Ladybug as night is to day. “I just didn’t realise it until you said…well, I always thought there was this wall between us, and knowing there isn’t – ugh, why is this so hard?”
“It’s okay,” Marinette mumbles, somehow managing to smile despite the way her heart must be breaking just as Adrien’s has done after the times Ladybug’s rejected him. “Really. You should go get that other girl. She’d be so lucky to have you, and I know Kagami would agree.”
“But she’s turned me down before,” Adrien says. “I guess I hoped if I kept trying, she’d eventually say yes. But she told me that there’s another boy, and I don’t want to let her go because I love her, but that’s why I have to let her go. And if she wasn’t around and Kagami didn’t confess first, I think I’d say yes to you. Sorry, I know that’s the last thing you want to hear –”
“No,” says Marinette with shimmering eyes and lips that twitch into a weak attempt at a smile. “Knowing that I did have a chance somehow makes it hurt less than knowing I had no chance at all. That other girl doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.” Then, before Adrien’s eyes, she schools herself back into the happy, sunshine Marinette right as they pull up to the kerb outside the bakery. How does she do it?
“I’ll see you at eight,” Adrien says to the Gorilla, who grunts in response. Then he shuts the car door after Marinette and follows her into the bakery and upstairs through the living area, all the way up to her room, where Kagami’s already waiting for them with, surprisingly, Alya and Nino.
“Um…” Marinette says, while Adrien freezes when Alya and Nino give him twin smiles. “Not that I don’t love you guys, but…what are you doing here?”
“Well, we figured we’d surprise our besties and drop in,” Alya says. “Plus, Nino wanted a croissant.”
Marinette snorts. “Of course.”
“Hey,” Nino grumbles.
“And, uh…” Alya bites her lip. “Look, we don’t know what to believe anymore. But Kagami told me and Nino about the Lila thing, and I don’t want to believe that she’s a heartless liar, but if Kagami and Adrien are taking your side and you’ve apparently got this plan going on that involves her, and you’re my best friend –”
“Alya –”
“And oh my god, if she’s lying then – then the expulsion, and all the times she’s said you were nasty to her and she didn’t know why, and I told my best friend to her face that I didn’t believe her –”
“Alya,” Marinette says with a small smile. “It’s okay. Really. I forgive you. You too, Nino.”
Nino’s shoulders slump in relief. “Thank god, dude. Nothing against you, but you have gotten pretty vicious when – ow!”
“Shut up!” Alya hisses, removing her elbow from his ribs. Marinette sighs.
“It’s okay, guys,” she says, heading to her desk chair to wheel it over, while Adrien drops to sit cross-legged at the foot of the chaise, where Alya, Nino, and Kagami are folding pieces of paper in different origami shapes. The origami ladybug at Alya’s feet nearly makes her snort. “I told Adrien in the car. He doesn’t feel the same way and I’m okay with that.”
“Oh. Oh.” Alya’s eyes crinkle. “Sorry, girl. After all the times you’ve tried…”
“How many times?” Adrien says. “Uh, if Marinette’s okay with me knowing about all this stuff?”
“Sure, knock yourself out,” Marinette mumbles.
“Oh, I have stories to tell,” Alya says. “But now’s not the time. What’s the plan?”
“Al and I are in with you guys,” Nino says when Marinette frowns at them. “Whatever you need us to do, dude.”
“If that’s okay,” Kagami says. “I’m sorry if I wasn’t supposed to tell them, but I thought that it would be okay since they’re your best friends and I know how much it was hurting you that they didn’t believe you.”
“Of course it’s okay. And thank you for trying to make things right between us,” Marinette says. Suddenly looking quite nervous, she adds, “Well, Ladybug said it’s okay to tell you guys, since I accidentally revealed my identity to Chat Noir and Ms Mendeleiev and I can’t be called on again. She entrusted me with a Miraculous a few weeks ago, back when Ms Mendeleiev was akumatised.”
The Rat! Adrien wants to exclaim, but he manages to stop himself just in time. Adrien Agreste isn’t supposed to know that Marinette was Multimouse, and he certainly doesn’t feel like explaining to his lady how he let his secret identity slip.
“The Rat.” Marinette fishes out the little necklace from underneath her shirt. Out of her purse flies a little rat – Mullo, if Adrien remembers the other kwamis’ names correctly. “I asked Ladybug if I could borrow it to pull off our plan to get evidence against Mr Agreste and Lila. I don’t think she’d have normally agreed, but she knows that Lila’s bad news since the Oni-Chan thing. Maybe she’s hoping that we can find a way to neutralise Lila before she grows too dangerous, since she can’t really get involved in this kind of teenage drama thing as a superhero?”
“Smart,” Adrien says, unable to keep the breathless marvel out of his voice. Marinette’s cheeks turn a dusty pink.
“And as she said, Ladybug and Chat Noir can’t very well be seen sneaking around in someone’s house, especially if it’s got nothing to do with Hawkmoth,” she says. “Plus, their Miraculouses aren’t the best-suited for it. But she said that if Adrien’s willing…” She fishes around in her purse and pulls out a familiar teal Ouroboros bracelet, summoning an equally familiar snake kwami in a burst of light. “He could become Aspik again and help.”
“B-But why me?” Adrien croaks, while Nino’s and Alya’s eyes bulge at the sight of Sass. “If you know I’m Aspik, you have to know how badly I messed up –”
“Well, I – she didn’t want to release more Miraculouses than necessary,” Marinette says. “And it’s your house, so you know your way around it. You have to come.”
“But I probably left a horrible impression on Sass, didn’t I?” Adrien says miserably. Sass chuckles.
“Some people are better-suited to other powers,” he says. “You could wield the Snake effectively enough if you learn not to fixate on one specific event.”
“Like trying to save Ladybug from Desperada.”
“Precisely. Rather, take in the entire situation. Look for different angles.”
“Just like you do when you’re fencing,” Kagami says, and Sass bows his head at her in agreement.
“Only if you’re willing,” Marinette says. “Otherwise, I’m happy to give you the Mouse and I can use the Snake –”
“No. No.” Adrien snatches the bracelet. He remembers vividly what it’s like to constantly go back in time, to remember all the other outcomes when everyone else around him doesn’t, and that’s not something he’s going to put on Marinette if anything goes wrong. “I can do it. I won’t let you down like I did Ladybug.”
“You didn’t let Ladybug down,” Alya says. She makes the final fold on her scarlet origami dragon and presents it to Kagami, who takes it and examines it from different angles with a small, approving smile. “Trust me, as the Ladyblogger, she’d be proud of you for stepping up and trying. Pretty sure she’d only be disappointed if you ended up working for Hawkmoth or something.”
“Alya’s right,” Marinette says softly. Then she clears her throat and pulls a familiar pair of glasses out of her purse. “And Kagami, you’re our ticket in and out. You can teleport us into Adrien’s room and if we need an escape, Ladybug wants you to use the Horse to create one for us. We can call you if we’re all transformed.”
“Of course.” Kagami immediately accepts the glasses and bows her head at Kaalki when the horse kwami materialises. “But why me? Why not Alya or Nino?”
“I don’t work with scruffy riff-raff,” Kaalki sniffs. “But you have the air of glory about you!”
“She’s not replacing Ma – Pegase,” Marinette says. Had she been about to say Max’s name? Had Ladybug told her that Max is Pegase? Just how much does Ladybug trust Marinette, anyway? Adrien hadn’t been aware that the two were particularly close, but it would explain why Marinette’s been so against Lila from the start. “But since Kagami’s already invested in the plan and I didn’t know that Alya and Nino would be here…well, Ladybug would prefer we keep it to as few people as possible.”
“She’s really putting a lot of faith in us, isn’t she?” Adrien says as Kagami slips on the glasses.
“For what it’s worth, I know you three can do it,” Alya says.
“And we’re happy to be the origami moral support, dudes,” Nino adds.
“If you make me a horse, I’ll run you through with my foil,” Kagami says dryly. “I didn’t even know you were proficient at origami, Nino.”
“Yeah, everyone’s surprised when I tell ‘em,” Nino says. “My teacher back in primaire – remember Mr Leroux, Marinette? – he told us the story about making a wish on a thousand paper cranes and I made it my mission to get that wish so our dad would come back. The wish didn’t come true but hey, I figured out that I loved origami, so it can’t be a waste, right? Maybe it was a blessing in disguise.”
The silence that falls on the room is almost awkward but not quite. What does Adrien say to that? Nino’s his best friend – one of the closest people in his life – and yet he’s never once thought that there was more to Nino than the bubbly, upbeat DJ. Adrien already knew that Nino’s father wasn’t around but…he’d never suspected anything like this.
“My father died when I was young,” Kagami finally says, breaching the stifling air with her non-hesitating manner that’s always so effective at jolting Adrien into action when he needs it. “And Adrien’s mother is gone. I think Marinette and Alya are the only ones of us with a normal family.”
“Normal is subjective,” Marinette says, while Alya snorts. “If you’d met my grandfather, you’d understand. Should we –?”
“Yes!” Adrien hastens to slide the bracelet on, while Kagami carefully slips on the dainty, almost-invisible golden frames of the disguised Horse Miraculous. “Sass, scales slither!”
“Mullo, get squeaky!”
“Kaalki, full gallop!”
Aspik’s not sure how to accurately describe the rush of emotions at seeing Multimouse again beyond some sort of baseball bat of sjdhfkljllaskdl that whacks him around the head. Ladybug had been so right to give Marinette a Miraculous! Why does she have to be such a cute hero?
“You look like a snack,” he blurts out. Although Multimouse’s cheeks pinken to the colour of her suit accents, she also snorts and raises an eyebrow at him.
“And you look like an egg,” she says. Alya lets loose with a particularly evil bout of laughter.
“Are we sure that Ladybug can’t give you the Mouse again?” Kagami says. Although Aspik can’t see her eyes behind her darkened glasses, he’s got no doubt that she’s taking in every little detail of Multimouse with her unfaltering gaze, which is one of the things about her that both thrills and intimidates him. “You really are adorable.”
“I third that sentiment,” Alya says. “Damn, I knew my bestie would be an epic superhero.”
“Agreed, babe,” Nino says. Now Multimouse’s cheeks are stained scarlet.
“S-Stop it!” she splutters. “Kagami, just – just do it already!”
“Okay, give me a moment to focus,” Kagami says, the corner of her mouth twitching. “I’ve never done this before.”
Multimouse moves to stand by Aspik’s side while Kagami frowns in concentration. Although she’s transformed, Aspik’s fairly certain that he can still catch a faint whiff of her usual scent of strawberries and vanilla, or maybe that’s just his brain deluding him, because he knows for a fact that the Miraculous magic disguises everything about someone’s identity. Then again, if he knows that Multimouse is Marinette, does that lessen the effectiveness of the magic? This is entirely new territory for him.
In more ways than one, his brain supplies, and Adrien’s too distracted by the glowing blue portal that appears before him to start poking at that thought and why it sounds suspiciously like Plagg.
“Eady, Raspik – dammit, ready, Aspik?” Multimouse shakes her head, causing her twin buns to swish from side to side. A little sixth sense tells Aspik that drawing attention to her lovestruck stammering – which is super cute, not that he’d ever voice that – is the worst thing he can do, especially before a nerve-wracking mission with someone other than Ladybug. How will Multimouse do on her second ever mission, especially with no Ladybug? If only he could tell her that he’s Chat Noir and she’s got an experienced superhero by her side.
“Aspik?” Kagami says. “I can’t keep the portal open forever.”
“Right!” Aspik blinks and shakes his head just like Multimouse had, though not as hard. Then he reaches out to take Multimouse’s hand, unable to hide his grin at the endearing blush that spreads across her cheeks at the contact, and they slip through the portal into his bedroom. Although he can understand why she’d keep her crush from him – not wanting to risk him hating her or acting awkward around her – he’s hard-pressed to find a reason as to why he’d hate her for it in the first place. He’d meant what he’d said to her earlier: she’s nothing like all the girls who cling to him and force their way into his personal space. Marinette commands attention, yes, but not through loudly demanding it. No, she draws it through her softness, her loud passion, her kindness…by being their everyday Ladybug.
“I think I’ve always felt something more for you. I just didn’t realise it until you said…well, I always thought there was this wall between us.”
No. Oh, no. Nononononono, he’s already wrestling with his feelings for Ladybug and Kagami, he cannot be having a love crisis right in the middle of a mission…but how hadn’t he realised until Marinette’s confession that he’d always loved her? Maybe he hadn’t wanted to let himself love someone who could reject him and then interact with his unmasked identity, whereas with Ladybug, he could be standing right in front of her and neither of them would have any idea. And Kagami had been the one making the moves and waiting for his response in their relationship, so he hadn’t been given the chance to hem and haw about her rejecting him.
Maybe it’s because his love for Ladybug had hit him like a sledgehammer, bashing him around the head and crushing his heart with the overwhelming strength of a gorgeous heroine in red spandex decrying a supervillain to his buggy face, and Kagami had shouldered her way into his life and carved out a comfortable little spot to share their experiences and made it impossible for him not to like her, while his feelings for Marinette have been soft, insidious, creeping up on him like the plants on Marinette’s balcony creeping up a trellis.
“Adrien?” Multimouse’s soft voice breaks through his wild thoughts. Her bright blue eyes greet Aspik when he lands back on earth, crinkled as she regards him with a tilted head. “Is everything okay? You don’t have to do this if you really don’t want to. I know it must be terrifying to be sneaking around and spying on your father like this.”
“N-No! I’m fine!” Aspik blurts out. “Just…lost in thought. About something. I’m fine. Really. We need to do this.”
Multimouse lets out a small laugh at that. “Alright. Lead the way, egghead.”
“Don’t call me egghead!”
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