#(actually. idea for later. definitely something to think about for a future project)

[cosmicsociology]

Being a person really into stationery is unfortunate because I will have to acknowledge that Zhang Beihai would realistically probably just use a mechanical pencil that works rather than a specific kind. I usually draw him with a regular wooden one for recognizability, but he'd definitely be a mechanical pencil type.

[babyleostuff]

spreadsheet

𝜗𝜚 THEME: fluff, established relationship 𝜗𝜚 PAIRING: (architect)student!mingyu x fem!reader 𝜗𝜚 WORD COUNT: 980

SYNOPSIS: if there's one thing mingyu finds incredibly sexy, it's intelligence

“i give up.” 

that was honestly the last thing you’d ever expect to hear from your boyfriend. kim mingyu never gave up, and even if - it wasn’t everyday that his ego allowed him to admit to failure.

confused, you looked up from your computer to see what finally managed to defeat him, just to be met with a very pouty, and a very annoyed boyfriend looking at the screen of his own computer, like he had some personal vendetta against it. 

you quickly covered your mouth with your hand to hide the smile forming on your face. you didn’t need mingyu to think you were making fun of him. “weren’t you supposed to work on your exam project?” you asked, doing your best not to burst out laughing. there was just something about that hunk of a six foot two man with killer biceps who was sitting opposite you, and pouting like a five year old that made you cackle. 

“yes, but i have to use a spreadsheet or whatever to sort out some of the information, and,” he sighed, “i have no idea how to use it.” 

with a loud bang, mingyu’s forehead met the table, which would definitely leave a small bump he’d make you kiss better later. huh, so he really gave up. 

“i don’t think i understand,” you crooked your head at him, pushing yours and his computers away, so you could lean over and place your hand at the nape of his neck. “kim mingyu, one of the best future architects, doesn't know how to use a spreadsheet?” your boyfriend was smart smart, there was no way he didn’t know a couple of formulas to sort out the data.

mingyu groaned loudly, and shook your hand off his neck. “don’t make fun of me baby,” with a whine, he lifted up his head, revealing big shiny puppy eyes, which were practically begging for your help. “as you said, i’m an architect, not a computer science guy!” he exclaimed, his lips turning more and more pouty with each word. 

for a person that loved to make fun of coups and his pout, it didn’t seem like mingyu realised how big of a pouty baby he was himself. 

“i don’t think you need to study computer science to know how to use a spreadsheet, gyu,” you said, and ran your thumb over his jutted out lip. “besides, you study maths and physics, shouldn’t you know how to use this kind of stuff?” 

“if this is your way of making me feel better it’s not working,” mingyu huffed, grabbing your hand in his. “and i really need to figure this out, but i have no idea how. i tried watching tutorials, but i still don’t get it. like, the more i try to understand it the less sense it actually makes,” his breath ghosted your knuckles, as his lips moved against your fingers.  “please tell me you’re an undercover tech guru, so you can do this for me. ” 

you gave mingyu’s hand a little squeeze, and took his computer with your free hand, sliding it over to your side of the table. 

“what are you doing?” he asked, confusion lacing his voice. 

you shook your head in amusement, and squeezed his hand once again, as you transferred all of the necessary data into a new, empty spreadsheet. “i may not be a tech guru as you called it, but it’s a good thing you have a super smart girlfriend,” you murmured, focused on the screen, “that knows the basics of how to use a spreadsheet.” 

you didn't have to look at mingyu to know that his eyes were wide and his mouth open in bewilderment - but it wasn't your fault - it's not like you ever had the opportunity to show off your skills before. besides, mingyu was so in love with you and he was so down bad that you didn't have to do anything special to make him look at you like you just invented a new element.

“it’s really not that hard, you just have to,” the quiet noise of you typing filled your living room for a moment, “you have to know which formals to use.” 

mingyu couldn’t tear his eyes off you. how in the world did he manage to bag a girl that was not only insanely beautiful, but also smart as hell? though he couldn’t see what exactly you were doing (not that he cared about that, he wouldn’t understand any of it anyway), mingyu was sure you were doing magic with those damn spreadsheets. 

“here,” you said with a proud smile a short while later, “is this what you were meant to do?” you turned the computer around for him to see the, yes - perfectly sorted data, just like his professor wanted them to be. 

“you are so fucking hot.” 

mingyu couldn’t help himself. he loved acting like he was the smartest in the room, but holy shit - his girlfriend was a genius, and he’d act all dumb just to have her fill out his spreadsheets. 

“you are literally the most amazing thing ever, baby,” mingyu breathed, still looking at you with disbelief. “so so smart, and so so mine.” 

you snickered, and threw a rolled up napkin at him. “calm down, gyu. that was nothing, seriously.” 

“nothing?!” he exclaimed, offended. “nothing, you say? so why was i struggling with it for the past hours?” 

“if you paid more attention in class i’m sure you’d manage perfectly on your own,” you said, suddenly shy under his stare. the lovesick look was truly overwhelming. “now, will i get something in return?” 

mingyu's expression suddenly seemed to change from pure surprise and admiration to something that pretty much resembled smugness. “what do you have in mind, princess?” he asked, crooking his head at you. 

you smiled and pointed your finger at your lips.

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[zykamiliah]

the many ways shen qingqiu loves luo binghe

this was more or less inspired by this post, but because this is gonna be a personal opinion and i don't want to make a thread of it and inadvertently contest with the other two's points, I'm going to make my own post.

so i wanna start saying that "the moment one falls in love" is a trope that's waaaay too overstated. in my opinion. specially because falling in love tends to be something that has to do with romantic love most of the time, and it pretends to establish a sort of timeline, a point of no return, for ships and fictional relationships.

when the stories surrounding the characters are more straightforward, i don't really mind, since it makes sense for there to be an "Oh" moment when the character realizes they are in love. like, we know the moment lbh started to see sqq in a sexual light, and we can roughly add to this that the events of the demon invasion and the nightmare scenario are what sealed the deal for lbh. it helps that he's more honest about his feelings and the sexual awakening had already happened, and we can easily assume that from that point on lbh's feelings have a romantic-sexual side.

it still has other sides... because lbh loves sqq as a shizun, as a parent, and this side of their relationship, the master-disciple and parent-child side, is intrinsic to their dynamic; it's a conflicting element during their prolonged conflict for most of the novel, but at the same time, it's their default when they want to approach each other, it's the "safe zone".

but when it comes to sqq I think it's a much more difficult thing to ask: when does sqq falls in love? when is his Oh moment? Is there one, a conscious realization that he's in love? Can his relationship with lbh be described as "being in love"?

he loved Luo Binghe The Character

—the way a reader loves a favorite character, and fanboyed about him plenty before and after transmigrating. the shadow of what the little sheep he was raising would became was ever-present throughout those first 6 years before their meeting in Jinlan City.

but he loved lbh the character in a fanatical way that wasn't actually real... it was meaningful to him because he liked this fictional character a lot, but it's a safe love from the side of a screen.

he was compelled by lbh the character, by his tragic backstory full of angst, and by the ways lbh the character did things: he "rightfully" took his anger out in the people who'd hurt him and paid back for it tenfold. in a way, sy as a reader was also projecting himself in lbh the character.

in short, he loved the Idea of luo binghe, but not luo binghe as a real person.

he loved Luo Binghe the White Lotus Disciple

—and he loved him like a parent loves a child. yet, as I mentioned, he always kept in mind that this boy would grew up to be a very attractive and sexual man, and thus sqq expected him to have romantic encounters with girls around his age.

i know some people shy away from talking about this because everyone is paranoid about your favorite character being called a pedophile etc etc, but really, sy could be nothing farther from that, and whoever who says that has a very, hmm, wide definition of the word and it's probably just using the buzzword to hate on the character.

the important thing is that, despite sqq being aware that lbh is a potential sexual being and will become very sexually active in the future, he does not in any way sexualize his and lbh's relationship. Like I said, sqq would never abuse his power in that way, and he'd never get it on with someone he sees as a child, his disciple. that lbh is very much viewing their relationship with romantic and sexual lenses is a complete shock for him because of this, along with other reasons and assumptions (that lbh was straight)

the problem here is, precisely, that he treated lbh like a child once, and would go on treating him as a child later, post-holy mausoleum: disregarding lbh's agency, making decisions for him and without asking what lbh wants, since as the parent he obviously Knows Better, and taking responsibility for lbh's "bad behavior". the endless abyss was a decision he made without consulting lbh. he self-detonated because he thought that would be best for everyone, and he intended for his death to (among other things like saving the city and escaping prison) "make up" for his mistakes. in maigu ridge, he almost kills himself again because he thought that would be better for lbh.

he's self-sacrificing, protective, caring, and overall parental/maternal towards lbh, which has it's good and bad sides. for a long time, he loves lbh like a parent loves a child, and though this side of his love for lbh is not lost in the extras, it's lesser in the sense that the power imbalance is nullified, and the parent-child, shizun-disciple side of their relationship turns more into a comforting, safe roleplay that allows them to access intimacy and express their feelings (that infamous "if i was your mother" speech) than the entirety of their relationship.

and the thing is, he always loved and will always love lbh as a parent loves a child. and i think people uncomfortable with this fact have to get around to accepting that lol

he is subconsciously attracted to luo binghe (bingmei) the Man

we all know this part. sqq's descriptions of lbh's beauty are numerous and far too difficult to quote them all, but one that really stands out to me, because it proves the point, is this one:

[Shen Qingqiu] asked, “The important person you’re talking about, was it…a good-looking young man?” When he thought about it, he decided against suppressing his conscience and clarified. “Not just good-looking, he’s very good-looking, especially good-looking. Fair skin, pretty face, tall. He doesn’t smile often, but when he does, it’s exceptionally dark.” chapter 9: borderlands

if he was unaffected by lbh's attractiveness, he wouldn't need to "suppress his conscience" about it. also this description is just... describing lbh's smile from his own pov? a personal feeling? to a stranger? he has it bad.

he's repressing his own feelings, so it's difficult to point to a specific moment as the moment he realizes he's attracted to lbh... because he never has a conscious realization, and he's in constant denial about it. all the way through to the last bingqiu extra, the wedding extra, he'll continue using the same narrative: the Protagonist is Beautiful and Irresistible, so what can sqq do but surrender to him? It's inevitable, really. (hahahaha he can't help but love and be attracted to lbh. it says more about him that he could ever verbalize)

so yeah, sqq really has the hots for lbh the man. but he'll NEVER admit it, he'll never had an Oh moment. Not even when he unconsciously called lbh "husband".

i want to make a clarification: for a character like sqq, who care about his pride and dignity way too much and has internalized homophobia and sexism to the detriment of his own peace of mind and fulfillment, admitting that he enjoys sex is way too shameful. he's never doing it. he mentions being "drunk with lust" in the showdown extra; in the deep dream extra he gets enthusiastic and proactive, initiating sex with lbh himself very smoothly; in the RoC,SoBQ extra he initially asks to do it doggy style and then changes his tune and wants to see lbh's face, DESPITE being embarrassed about it, and his desire is described as wanting the spot inside him to be rammed. all of this are subtle hints of how he really feels about sex, despite his inner struggles with his pride as a man.

another clarification: the way smut is written in western space is not the same as the way is written in chinese novels. for example, some chinese slang put the the top as the one "attacking", as if sex is a sort of fight. there's always this implication that the shou surrenders to the gong. there's a clear distinction of who tops and who bottoms and the roles of husband and wife made by this distinction; pleasure is described differently: phrases like "scalp going numb", "getting goosebumps" are not particular to svsss alone; the way the bodies engaged in the sex act are described, etc. (it IS a different language with a different culture) so it's normal that most of us come out of the extras thinking the smut is not enjoyable for readers or the characters themselves. what is the difference between the mdzs extras and the svsss extras? that wwx, being characterized as a "shameless" person, is very vocal about how he feels during sex. he has no shame around sex, unlike sqq, who is in the opposite side of the shame spectrum.

sqq is still struggling with that part of himself, and personally I think it's very understandable that even until the end of volume 4 he still has a difficult time with it; it's not easy shedding the believes one grows up with.

which bring me to,

he loves luo binghe the Man, "romantically"

—and it's a love that conflates his parental love, his attraction, too, but that starts to develop mostly post-holy mausoleum: it's when the hand-holding starts, somehow, though it develops fulling throughout the extras, when they finally become romantic partners and explore sex together. mxtx traces an arc that starts with the showdown extra, goes through the deep dream extra that has sqq telling lbh that "Tonight I feel like... I live you a great deal" and ends in the wedding extra with sqq calling lbh "husband" unprompted; despite previously agonizing about his loss of face and dignity and the humiliation of it, his actions speak louder than his words and inner thoughts. because of this, functionally, sqq can be read as a tsundere.

but aside from the sex, sqq enjoys domesticity and spending time with lbh; he likes teasing him, conversing with him and going out with him to see the world. post-main novel they're equals in their relationship and treat each other with respect and consideration, even if their shizun-disciple roleplay prevails. by romance definitions, I believe they mostly fit them, even if their relationship is unconventional.

as for when sqq fell in love with lbh? i still don't have a clear answer. he's always loved him; this love evolves through time, bringing him and lbh closer together. personally, i don't think it's not important. sqq loves lbh, and that's what matters.

[yesimwriting]

I love the way you portray Armand!! Big kudos to you you absolutely nail the characterization. I have a question.

Will Armand ever change his approach/façade and become more gentle/openly caring towards reader, sometime someday in the future? Deep down he's a canon loverboy and if he becomes more loving/doting, will it happen when he separates from louis and officially is together/is at least trying to get with reader?

(I feel like sometime he WILL have to realize "oh shit maybe i should be nice if i actually want this persons affection")

I also have to praise you bc i noticed something random! I read somewhere that Anne Rice had planned for Armand to be the antihero/antagonist from the start, which is why he seems to be so... evil but then she confessed that Daniel and devils minion had changed her mind completely and boom! Armand villain no more. He's in love fr.

I can't help but notice the same theme going on in your bestie verse: hence the question.

(Side note: the audacity of this man to hate on readers favorite shows when this absolute NERD canonly likes the blade runner movies.

ps. expect more random armand facts)

Omg thank you so much!! Characterization is so important to me and Armand is so complex and I'm constantly worrying about making him seem like himself in terms of 'voice' if that makes sense.

That's such a good question and you bring up some really interesting points. I had no idea that Anne Rice chose to shift Armand away from being more of an antihero/antagonist because of Devil's Minion/his relationship with Daniel, from what I've read so far, that arc felt so natural I wouldn't have guessed that it wasn't pre-planned!

I just feel like Armand is so predisposed to allowing his affection to drown out all else. I think something that's a bit of driving force for him is a desire to feel like someone's first and only choice, so once he feels a deep enough connection to a potential love interest/partner to trust that they do love him to that extent, it makes sense for him to mellow out a little. A fully reciprocated attachment is one he doesn't have to 'manipulate' out of the person.

As far as bestie verse reader and how Armand might change his approach in the future, this is really making me want to write a more organized chapter series to better 'track' that development.

I haven't really been able to get into this yet, but Armand is doting on bestie in a hundred ways that she's unaware of. I just feel like when she's staying with Louis and Armand, or when they're staying with her, she's not doing a single thing.

She stumbles out of her heels after a night out and wakes up to them in her closet; she thinks about how nice a snack would be and less than ten minutes later, Armand's complaining about how she hasn't eaten enough today and bringing her something; she wakes up one day and realizes that she can't remember the last time she ran out of any hair or skin products...and now that she's thinking about, when was the last time she ran out of a paint color mid project?

However, as far as openly doting on reader, I can see Armand either convincing himself that his kindness his way of 'tricking' her into liking him, or it being a reaction to something she does that makes him feel more secure.

I think if bestie were to defend Armand during an argument with Louis or maybe sit with him while he's upset or doing his best to pretend he doesn't feel alone, he'd find it in him to care about her a little more openly.

I can also see him randomly worrying about losing bestie after reflecting on how close she is with Louis and coming to the sickening realization that if he wants her to want him...he's going to have to start being nice to her outside of his thoughts 💔

Not Blade Runner 😭 he's definitely just being a hater and complaining for the sake of it. I feel like he'd secretly become invested but pretend that it's a pain to watch them with her.

Also, yes, please feel free to send me all of the Armand facts you want :) Currently deeply fixated on analyzing him, which is why my response to this ask is so long (this is me apologizing for the slight rambling 😭)

[devils-little-sistaaa]

This is just me projecting on Percy but not really projecting because his struggles in cannon with academics is scarily similar to mine. (Never mind it’s definitely me projecting at the end because this took a very dark and extreme turn. I don’t think Percy would actually do this cannon but he definitely has those feelings and struggles in cannon. And yes I don’t think Percy ever graduates high school. That first year after failure is very hard for him mostly because of his family and friends being so disappointed but he eventually accepts himself as an academic failure no matter how hard he tried and finds something better and more rewarding and fulfilling than a diploma or degree to live for and finds some better family and friends that don’t equate his entire worth as a person and as a friend with good grades in academics. A big part of this is just me venting and projecting I’m sorry).

Percy trying to survive his senior year except it’s not monsters he has to worry about anymore it’s himself. Constantly trying not to destroy himself because he kinda doesn’t want to be here. Doesn’t want to deal with constantly trying 10 times harder than all the other kids in school and still just barely passing any of his tests (and maybe not passing some of them). All the struggles he’s had with school over so many years really starting to hit him all at once. And he’s drowning but no one notices because struggling with school is so common for him they don’t care enough to help. He’s afraid to tell anyone because he knows they won’t understand and won’t be able to help him in any way that matters. They’ll tell him what they’ve always told him when he’s struggling with school and if nothing they said or did helped him last time or the time before that or the time before that then it probably won’t work at all another time and there’s no point in telling them he’s struggling. He feels like he’s going insane doing the same things same lessons over and over again and still not learning anything from them and always hoping that he’ll pass through the next test pass the next obstacle and start to move on and start to progress enough that he can maybe graduate later. But he keeps falling flat on his face every time he keeps failing no matter how hard he tries no matter how many methods of studying he tries nothing works. He’s going insane and nobody knows nobody understands. Not even Annabeth and Grover. Annabeth has her own troubles with school yeah but they’re definitely very different from Percy’s struggles. And Grover never had to deal with school so. Percy feels so alone. So tired so scared for his future. Scared he won’t graduate scared he can’t keep up with Annabeth scared he can’t go to camp Jupiter new Rome college with her. Especially since all of that was his idea and she seemed on the fence about it at first. What happens when he invitably fails high school and can’t follow her to California. What happens when all of his family and friends become so disappointed with him they can’t even look at him. They had so much hope for Percy they had so much hope that he could be something but he got crushed under the weight of all their expectations. He’s so alone and hates everything and feels like he can’t show any bit of his emotion because he knows his family and friends are already afraid of him on a regular basis even without showing any of his more intense distraught emotions. He’s bottling everything up hoping to make himself numb hoping it will all go away someday. He seems his mom being there for Estelle in the way he wishes she could have been there for him. He sees how different their childhoods are and he’s so jealous. He doesn’t even feel like part of the Jackson family anymore because Estelle is younger and needs Sally’s full attention and Percy’s almost a grownup and “doesnt need his mom as much” but he does. He really does. He’s just too scared to admit it to them. And they don’t see how he’s drowning. They think he’s used to this. They think he’s used to dealing with and surviving this. But he’s always been drowning. And the water is finally over his ears but nobody notices because they think he can breathe underwater. He’s drowning nobody knows he feels so alone he’s failing all his classes he’s not gonna graduate he can’t to go CJ he can’t keep up with Annabeth and she’s going to leave him and his whole family and friends will be so disappointed and so ashamed of him and he finally can’t take it anymore. He takes a weekend trip to camp half blood. He left a few letters individual ones for Sally Paul Annabeth Grover Chiron and even little Estelle to read when she’s older.

It’s mostly explaining why did it and that he loves them and they didn’t do anything wrong and that there was nothing they could have done to help him. Nico is the first one to notice he’s gone. He felt his death in the middle of the night. Rushed to wake up Apollo kids and dragged them to Poseidon cabin trying to recesitate him. It doesn’t work. Nico is a mess. Nico immediately goes to the underworld to wait for Percy to show up so that he can be there for judgment and help get Percy into Elysium. Apollo kids go wake up Chiron and tell him. Chiron is distraught. He tries to track down Nico during the night because Nico’s is the one that does burial services but Apollo kids tell him Nico’s long gone. Chiron waits until morning to call Sally and Paul and Annabeth and Grover and deliver the bad news. Nico shows up that morning just in time to prepare for the funeral and burial. They have it the next day. Percy rests in peace now. No more awful school tests no more awful gods and monsters to deal with. No more bottling up his emotions no more of his family and friends being so afraid terrified of him even tho he’s never harmed or threatened any of them in any way. No more school. No more being distanced from the Jackson family. No more of Annabeth and Sally and Paul and everybody being so disappointed in his failures. No more failures. Percy finally rests in peace. He never makes it to college. Annabeth graduated. He didn’t. He failed once again just like he knew he would even though he tried so hard. He couldn’t survive failing high school. He couldn’t survive a future without Annebeth. He couldn’t survive the disappointment from his whole family. He couldn’t survive being slowly shunned out of the Jackson family. He needed his mom. His mom was busy with another kid. He needed his father. Paul was busy with another kid. He needed his girlfriend. She was busy with graduating high school and moving on to college and leaving him in the dust and being so disappointed and angry and accusing him of not trying hard enough when he couldn’t follow her. He needed his best friend. His best friend was busy doing whatever satyrs do finding new demigods and stuff. He was alone. He was all alone and nobody ever noticed. But now he’s finally free from the crushing weight of their expectations. He doesn’t care that he’s a failure anymore he accepts himself as that. And he finds a better family waiting for him in Elysium.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Guide: Inspiration, Motivation, and Passion

Anonymous asked: I have time to write and TONS of ideas in my notes. I want them to eventually be final drafts... but in this moment I just don't care about them. Does that make sense? I wish I did, but I'm disconnected. Is normal? Do all writers/authors struggle to connect with and feel passion for their stories/characters, but they write anyway and it comes eventually? Or do they not write unless those feelings are in place already? Forget making readers care about my protagonist. How do I care about them? Could my chance to write already be over? Also Audhd btw :) Thank you for all your advice ❤️

(Ask edited for length)

Inspiration, motivation, and passion are all things that can wax and wane for writers, but they do have to be there in some combination at some point if you want to write. If you consistently lack any of them, there's definitely something going on that's worth addressing. So, let's look at each component individually to get a better idea of what they are and how they ultimately work together to help you write.

Inspiration is the collection of sparks that ignite story. In other words: ideas. All those ideas you have in your notes--you wrote them down because they excited you when they popped into your head. Something about those ideas intrigued you enough to write them down and want to explore them later. And the thing that makes you want to explore them later is almost always a question... some sort of "what if" that you need to answer for yourself.

Motivation is the "why" that makes you want to take those ideas and turn them into stories. It's the answers to the following questions: why I write, why I want to answer this question for myself, why I want to tell this story, why I want to explore these themes, why I think this character's story is worth telling, why I want to say the thing I'm trying to say with this story.

Passion is the fire that drives us through the process of turning the ideas into a finished story. It's love for the characters, world, and plot. It's love for all the things motivating you to tell this story. It's love for words and imagery and process. It's love for the act of writing and for being a writer.

Again, all of the above need to be present in some form and combination at some point in order for you to actually complete a story, but these things can all wax and wane during not just one story's writing process, but during different periods in your life. They can also exist on a spectrum that's different for each writer, each project, or different periods of time. BUT... if you never have any inspiration, motivation, or passion for writing... or if you have inspiration initially, but lose interest and have no motivation or passion, writing is going to be really difficult.

Lack of Inspiration - Inspiration is the lifeblood of writing. If you don't have ideas, you can't write. Ideas come from experiencing the world around us. As we live life, observe our fellow humans, learn about history and the universe, and speculate about the unknown, ideas start to occur to us. Whereas a non-writer might think, "That documentary about the future of space travel was neat," a writer might think, "I'm intrigued by the idea of generation ships. I wonder what would happen if a generation ship landed on the wrong planet?" That question is what gets you to the next level... the "why" that motivates you to take this further than a mere moment of curiosity. So, if you're lacking that, there's a very good chance it's because you're not absorbing enough from the world around you. Perhaps your experiences aren't varied enough, you're not observing your fellow humans, and aren't learning about history or the universe, or speculating about the unknown. In which case, my post: Guide: Filling Your Creative Well can help you get into that mode.

Lack of Motivation - Motivation in particular can come and go as you work on a story, but it has to be there at the beginning or you never get started. The answer to "why I want to write" is especially important, because one thing that happens sometimes is people try to get into writing for the wrong reasons. They don't get into it because they have ideas for stories they want to tell, and themes they want to explore, and things they want to say. They get into it because it sounds like fun, because "everyone's doing it," or because it's unique, noteworthy, and--they think--a path to notoriety and/or wealth. But without the need to tell stories, those things aren't enough to make those ideas come or transform them into something more than an idea. But something else that can ruin motivation, and often does for those who do want to tell stories: physical and mental well being. If you don't feel good physically or mentally... if you're busy, tired, distracted, depressed, low on energy, in a bad mood, dealing with chronic pain, under the weather, etc., those things can definitely zap your motivation, even if you really want to tell stories. See these posts for help on that: Writing with Chronic Illness, Writing and Depression.

Lack of Passion - Our fiery love for the characters, setting, story, themes, tropes, questions, etc... that's the thing that most commonly wanes (and sometimes disappears) for writers during the writing process. If it's not there at the beginning, though... if you never feel a fiery love for your characters and their stories... you haven't hit upon the right ideas yet, and you need to keep looking until you find something that really sings to you. But if that passion is there at the beginning and disappears, there can be a number of reasons for that. Physical and mental well being, definitely. Exhaustion, boredom, and any of the things we refer to as "writer's block." These posts can help with finding the problem and reigniting the passion: 5 Reasons You Lost Interest in Your WIP, Plus Fixes, Guide: How to Rekindle Your Motivation to Write, Getting Excited About Your Story Again, Getting Unstuck: Motivation Beyond Mood Boards & Playlists

I hope something here will work for you and help you move forward. But just remember: It’s Never Too Late to Become a Writer. If you're just not feeling it right now, that doesn't mean you won't in a month, in a year, in five years. There are famous, well-celebrated authors who didn't start writing until they were beyond their 50s or 60s. So, don't stress about it if it seems like writing just isn't for you right now. Maybe you'll come back around to it eventually, or maybe you'll decide that you're more of a story consumer than a story creator, which is okay, too. ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[cyberjello]

An Analysis of Alex Hill

Aka: "In Which Cyberjello Spends Too Many Words Projecting Onto One of His Favourite Characters"

If you're here from the SRS discord server, Hi! I noticed something neat about Alex, and because I either have nothing to say or way too much, I wrote this whole… thing about it. Enjoy!

On the other hand, if it's the future and you stumbled upon this post by chance and are still here because you like reading character analyses even when you know nothing about the character (like me), this is about Alex Hill. He's a main character from a webtoon called The Last Dimension, which you can read here (and should because it's great)! This pile of words contains some spoilers for the first and second seasons. Enjoy!

Alex is a pretty interesting character. Sometimes he's a massive jerk, and sometimes he feels really bad about having been a massive jerk. But 90% of the time he's a pretty chill dude (if a little insensitive) who doesn't seem to care about any particular issue. I've pointed out an example of this before; how in the span of a couple days he switched from harassing Phillip about not being normal, to telling him in no uncertain terms that his otherness didn't matter. At first I was a little mystified. It seemed weird for him to change his stance like that so quickly, yet at the same time it didn't feel out of character for him. So I thought about it a bit more, and then I had an epiphany.

Alex differs from the others in how he thinks. He doesn't worry about what could happen in the near future, like Fai does. He doesn't dwell on the implications behind pieces of information, like Phillip does. He's impulsive, quick to say whatever pops into his head, and rarely stops to consider the long-term consequences of his actions.

And gee, as a young fellow with ADHD who's only been medicated for less than ten years, that all sounds awfully familiar. And rereading TLD with that connection in mind has been quite interesting.

See, ADHD—or at least my particular flavour of it—does some interesting things with one's sense of importance. Past, present, and future are tossed aside in favour of a much simpler system: "Now" and "Not Now". Things that happen during "Not Now" are rarely factored into decisions made during "Now". Desires, ideas, and thoughts that happen "Now" are almost always a higher priority and given more immediate attention.

The most visible manifestation of this is impulsiveness: the moment at which you have an idea, something you could say or do, is Now. Anything else—be it a task you were just in the middle of doing, a favour somebody asked of you an hour ago that you should really get started on, or the possible future consequences of executing this idea—those are all Not Now, and therefore not important, in the unlikely event that they even come to mind. And you can definitely see that impulsiveness in Alex whenever he says something he really, really shouldn't.

But impulsiveness isn't the only thing that the Now/Not Now dichotomy is responsible for. One of the clearest places I've also noticed it is in how he treats Phillip. Remember how he switches from jerk to friendly almost on a dime? Yeah, he actually does that a lot in season 1, doesn't he? In fact, I've gone and taken SIXTEEN FRICKING SCREENSHOTS BETWEEN EPISODES 2-15 AND I'M GOING TO GO THROUGH AND TALK ABOUT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS BECAUSE I'M INSANE!!!

To start off though, I'm going to say what should be obvious to anyone who's read TLD: Alex isn't a mean person at heart. He cares a lot about those around him, including Phillip.

Anyway, in Episode 2 he acts like an absolute jerk to Phillip:

Clearly not the best of friends, are they? Well, you could have fooled me, because 15 minutes later, Alex is cheering him on and then looking out for him as he bluntly tells Phillip to "shift into [his] normal self".

And he proves to be a pretty good person after this. He's genuinely worried about Fai when she nearly drowns, and he's pretty friendly, if a bit cranky. But eventually it becomes clear how bad their situation is and all of a sudden—

—he's back to being a jerk.

But then Fai calls him out on it, and the effect is immediate.

He feels bad. He knows what he just did wasn't right. BUT THEN FIVE MINUTES LATER HE DOES IT AGAIN

Twice more this happens, where Alex is acting pretty friendly but then says something stupid, Fai tells him off, and he clearly feels bad immediately after—

—and then he acts like it never happened and he's genuinely friendly and nice again.

In fact, after that first day on Imash, he never says anything mean-spirited to or about Phillip again. Insensitive, sure, but not outright mean.

This isn't just Alex changing his opinion over the course of a couple days. This little flip-flop he does is a whole pattern that I'm going to go ahead and examine a little closer.

To start, let's compare the first two scenes I mentioned. In their room the Institute, Alex is frustrated that he has to share a room with Phillip. There's a good reason for him to not be upset; he does care about Phillip, and sharing a room with him would really help Phillip stay hidden. But Phillip's predicament—and more to the point, the effect it has on him that Alex perceives—currently rests in the far-off land of Not Now. Meanwhile in the land of Now, Alex doesn't get to be in a room with his other friends. Phillip's visible otherness is a painful reminder of the perceived betrayal from when he revealed his true form. To top it off, there's the background noise of Alex's frequent use as a guinea pig. There's a lot going on, and only one target to lash out at.

15 minutes later during the fall to Imash, all those things have entered Not Now. On the other hand, "I'm no longer falling to my doom thanks to Phillip" and "Fai and Anne are coming and are about to see Phillip" become Now. Looking out for Phillip is the Now Problem, sharing a room with him is a Not Now Problem.

But that's fairly normal, isn't it? Of course Alex is going to be nice to the person who just saved his life. Let's continue.

After they swim the shore, Alex is actually relatively friendly with Fai, in contrast to the name-calling and snarkery he used with her and Susi back at the Institute. Because Now, Fai isn't someone annoying trying to get in his way, she's just someone stuck here along with him.

Speaking of which, he doesn't seem all too concerned about what just happened. Annoyed, maybe, but not worried. After all, nothing bad is happening Now. But then Anne finds a tablet with an alien language on it, and the fact that they're not in Kansas anymore suddenly becomes a very big, very obvious Now Problem. Alex finally feels the true gravity of the situation, and lashes out at Phillip. (This provides a decent example of that impulsiveness again, where Alex's brain makes a connection and he acts on it Now.) Which brings me to my next observation, which is that Fai, by intervening, basically gives Alex the opportunity to realize when he's in the wrong.

Now, this part brings back a lot of memories from before I started taking medication for my ADHD. I used to tease my sister relentlessly. As Paranatural's Ed Burger puts it:

As I myself can testify, that bit about the reactions is the key here, ESPECIALLY when one has ADHD and that immediate reaction, the thing that happens Now, is practically the only thing that matters here. When I used to mess with my sister, I hated making her sad and felt awful wherever that happened. But angry? When she got angry and chased me around the house I thought was hilarious. It was that brief but very much Now moment of entertainment that motivated me. However, we've seen that Phillip doesn't give much of a reaction when bullied. He freezes up and then afterward, he disappears somewhere for half an hour to cry where no-one will see it:

And I believe that LACK of an immediate reaction is just as important. Alex has a lot of crap in his life to move him to take it out on Phillip. He doesn't need a reaction to do it, but the absence thereof means he never immediately sees how much Phillip suffers because of it. It never becomes apparent Now, when he's able to notice. But then along comes Fai, who does react when he says something hurtful about somebody else. And it's her reaction that makes him stop and become able to realize that what he was doing. He genuinely feels bad because as I said earlier, he doesn't want to be mean, he's just never able to notice when he is.

There's one other things I want to point out about the Now/Not Now thing. When you have something that could happen or will happen in the future, something that could affect you in some way, it doesn't really seem real. It's not immediately affecting you, it's Not Now, so there's no need to worry. And I see this in Alex a LOT.

These are his thoughts about seeing a giant energy beam appear in the distance: "I'm tired; it's not a Now Problem, I don't feel like thinking about it right now." The reason I find this familiar is because it's exactly what my brain would tell me whenever I sat down to do homework with a far-off deadline. And later, when Alex and Fai tell Phillip about Fai's bad vision about him, he very clearly isn't thinking about the contents of the vision itself; they're not happening Now, after all. He doesn't seem even a little worried about it, unlike Fai.

Now, I'm not going to outright say "Alex might canonically have ADHD" because I'm not a brain biologist who knows how to look for this stuff, nor do I know if this was intentional. (I'm also never been one to form headcanons, I typically stare at canon and go, "yup, that's pretty cool!") But I will say that I have ADHD, and I see a lot of myself in Alex, which is pretty neat.

[neil-neil-orange-peel]

A Bastard's Carol: a work of fanfiction by scumbaganarchy 💣

Season's greetings, scumbags! I hope you're all having a pleasant day. I come bearing a gift (of a sort):

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1we8qEVul2PTWFCtaVqyyXccVg8-xZBte/view?usp=sharing

A huge thank you to @viviangreeneart for the awesome art! ❤️ It turns out we should all definitely be making fake novel docs out of our fanfic. It's good for the soul.

Some pretentiousness about ABC below the cut.

Just over five years ago, a naiver version of me had the idea of writing a Young Ones/Rivyan parody of A Christmas Carol. She started actually writing for this idea in December 2019... and promptly discovered it was going to be a whole lot bigger than she'd anticipated. With one chapter posted before the big day, she decided to kick the rest into the new year.

That new year was 2020.

Yes, that 2020. Although, to be fair, what other one could I be talking about?

We'll skip all of that. None of us need to relive it.

One year, two or three lockdowns, and four indefensibly long chapters later, ABC was finally done and dusted in December 2020. It stood at around 60K words, making it by far the longest thing I'd ever written. I guess we all had to spend that empty time doing something, right?

Followers of this blog will have noticed, I'm sure, that I've never shut up about ABC since. Maybe you even rolled your eyes when you saw the title of this notification? Uh oh, she's going on about that old thing again...

Yep.

Look, I'm incredibly bad at hyping up my own work - self-deprecation is a bad habit, but a common one - and the more time that passes between who you were when you wrote something and who you are today, the harder being positive about it can get.

I was 18 when I wrote ABC. I had only gotten back into writing properly at 17. The whole work went through one major copy edit a year or so ago, when I knew a little more about writing - but I still didn't know as much then as I do now, and I suspect (and hope) the same will be true for a future version of myself when she looks back on my writing from this time.

All of this is to say, sometimes ABC reads to me as something written by somebody else. 18 year old me didn't write exactly the way I do now; she hadn't gotten the Bachelor of Arts cheat code boost that I have. But she was extremely passionate. She did love the bastards Rik and the gang created with all her heart. She'd also studied A Christmas Carol for her GCSEs only a couple of years previously, so she did at least understand the text she was taking a chainsaw to. I think all of this mattered. I think this gave ABC heart.

But what's my point in saying all of this (again)?

For a very long time, I've wanted but held back on commissioning an artist to draw me a cover. Well, no more. Truly, thank you ever so much to @viviangreeneart for indulging me and creating something fabulous for this old fic of mine. Thank you too to everyone who has ever commented on or kudos'ed ABC on ao3 over the years. It really does mean more to me than I can say.

Having dropped a new and flashy PDF decked out like an actual novel, here's the link to ABC on ao3, which will always be its home:

Merry Christmas, scumbags. Cliff bless us, Everyone!

[yellowhollyhock]

I was thinking since Donny likes robots what if he joined a secret underground robot fighting club Raph is the first to noticed Donny is always tired so one night he follows him. Does Raph try to stop him or join in that’s up to you. lol

ooh fun scenario! hmm I think any Raph would notice a brother acting odd and follow except maybe 87 (because they'd all three follow together), but which Donatellos would join a robot fight club

2012 I can see this for sure, and in that case Raph's reaction is most likely 'this is stupid, I can't believe you're losing sleep over this, you're cringe come home and btw your robot sucks.' But then maybe the robot wins and Donnie persuades him the money is worth it? Or loses badly and Raph sees his brother sad and completely changes his tune. Or this h. hh. happens during. mutant apocalypse and. Well that's a bit much to wrap my head around rn fjshajdjaj

2003 I don't really see Donny doing this? He seems to favor mech suits more than remote control robots compared to other Donatellos, and maybe that's why I can't picture this because he couldn't go wear it and fight himself, and I don't see him purposely sending someone else (not even Casey ahsgah). Unless it happens in the future but given the prevalent issue of robots rights in fast forward and the fact that he's busy with fixing the time window, probably not. In general Donny is not the turtle to go out looking for a fight, very adventurous yes but confrontational, no not really. Actually this is a plot I'd see more with Angel! Maybe still a bit of a character stretch but I could see it. Which means Casey would be the one to notice and go to Raph for help, and Donny would be tagging along because obviously he wants to see those robots and steal any parts that get knocked off in the fights. And that's very funny to imagine because Raph will have to be the responsible one herding those three like cats just trying to get through the contest and back home safely. I'm sure he'd enjoy himself too, though, he likes watching fights and all the 03 turtles know enough mechanics to be at least a bit interested

rise - I mean this is the episode where Shelldon sneaks off to join the PDs team on a robot fight. Already canonically Donnie is against it and Raph isn't in that episode iirc. Would be fun to see his and Leo's reaction to the story though!

Next Mutation - now see what would happen is, Donnie builds a cool fighter robot, Raph and Mikey get the idea to enter it into some kind of competition they happen to have just heard about, Splinter says Absolutely Not, and then they do it. Probably lose for the sake of learning a lesson by the end of the episode. Or they win but can't get the prize because of being turtles? Or something

2007 - maybe? for moneys? if Raph found out I think he'd be very much on on board, but it depends how the conversation goes-- wait no I know he's Nightwatcher when he finds it. Goes to crash the party because it's an illegal thing and a place where he's likely to find criminals, interrupts a fight Donnie was winning, finds the broken pieces at the lair later and realizes he broke Donnie's bot. But he can't say anything because no one's supposed to know he's the Nightwatcher. And part of him is definitely like 'why is he wasting time with this random stuff instead of fighting crime' and another part of him is like 'ok cool good so Donnie and Mikey do have lives outside of the lair and moping that Leo is gone.' Maybe he'd offer to help with the robot but at that point Donnie (who knows he's the Nightwatcher) is like 'oh no that was just a stupid side project trying to earn some extra cash, dumb idea waste of money I should just stay focused on work' and Raph. Hates that

I don't feel like I know a lot about Mutant Mayhem yet, but this is definitely something I could see them bonding over! And like with 12 I feel like it would start with 'ok my weird little brother and his freaky anime hobbies' but soon turn into 'ROBOT FIGHT ROBOT FIGHT GO DONNIE GO.' Which is funny, I wouldn't have said 12 and mm Raphs were generally that similar

Also. tmnt az turtles this absolutely would happen. Except Raph would catch Donnie sneaking out to just watch the robot fights and then persuade him to join and they'd build their fighter bot together

that's what comes to mind atm. Very fun thought, thanks for sharing!

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

My (non-Jewish) anthropology professor made a really incorrect statement about the idea of Jews as “God’s chosen people”. When I (also non-Jewish but try to keep informed) corrected him, he brought up something else that sounded wrong to me: supposedly only Reform Judaism allows for conversion? I didn’t know enough to contest it at the time, but that really does not sound true to my ear, from the way I’ve heard Jewish people talk about it. Is there any truth to that?

Yeah, the Chosen People thing is often wildly and antisemitically misinterpreted to mean "We think we're G-d's Specialest Selected Elite People and the only people G-d actually loves and cares about" -- which like. Could not be further from the truth. What it actually means is: We were selected to do the project of the mitzvot of the Torah, which is a lot of extra homework that other people don't need to do but someone needs to do it. It's a lot more like "chosen to do the dishes" of the spiritual world than "chosen to be special." Now. Is there definitely some pride of place in doing the extra work? Sure! But at the same time, Jewish eschatology has always made room for non-Jews. We absolutely think non-Jews who live good lives and are decent, moral people have a solid place in the world to come. We aren't angling for a everyone to become Jewish because, kind of by definition, not everyone needs to do the ritual mitzvot. Live ethical lives and be decent to each other and us? Sure. Lay tefillin and daven three times a day and (during the Temple times) offer sacrifices and wave lulav fronds during Sukkot and eat matzah on Pesach and keep kosher and keep Shabbat? Etc.? Nope, that's our task and ours alone.

Now! If you feel personally called to living a life of Torah and believe that you have a Jewish soul and should be made part of Am Yisrael, the Jewish people, you can go through the lengthy process of conversion and (essentially) become a member of the Tribe? Yeah, you can do that. You better be real sure and go into it eyes open. You're going to need to be persistent and dedicated to studying and being present in the community. It's not encouraged, and traditionally rabbis would turn someone asking to convert away three times before accepting them as a student to make sure they were serious. In modern times, most rabbis are a bit more welcoming, but will still push you to seriously consider why you want to be Jewish. If the answer is still yes for you, then you can do it, if you must. Most gerim (converts) describe an experience very similar to how transgender folks describe our gender journeys - we can't be any other way, and wouldn't want to be. I'm both a convert and trans, and my sense of understanding myself as both non-binary and as a Jew are deeply held and equally compelling.

All branches of rabbinic Judaism accept converts. Some have a more strenuous process than others, and some take on very few converts. The more traditional the movement, the more likely it is that the person will be encouraged to explore other options. The reason for this is that the more traditional the movement, the more serious they take the binding nature of the commandments, and therefore adding another Jew (especially one who has so much to learn in a comparatively short time rather than being raised in it) is a risk that the person will revert back to their old ways or find something else later. Since we are judged collectively (Torah is a group project) and the future world to come hinges on us scrupulously observing the mitzvot (according to the more traditional movements) it is imperative that any late additions to the People be very serious and rigorous in their observance.

The liberal movements are a lot less intense about that, although it's also a spectrum. The Reform movement does not hold the ritual mitzvot to be binding, only the ethical mitzvot. They therefore lack the same incentive to avoid failed conversions. The Conservative/Masorti movement and some of the other traditional egalitarian communities do hold the mitzvot as binding, but are a lot more flexible about their expectations that everyone follow them. It's a lot more of a "do your best; we're here to support you" vibe. (That's my branch that I converted through.)

Each branch, to be clear, has their strengths and weaknesses, their merits and their drawbacks. Every Jew brings something to the table. The Reform movement (and similarly liberal smaller movements) are probably the most welcoming to gerim and have the fewest hoops to jump through, but every branch has a process and some amount of converts. Those that choose a more traditional movement typically support, respect, and value the extra hoops of the traditional movements and are willing to work within that system; at least that's how it was for me. I wanted it to be rigorous so that I was prepared and certain; I got that out of my giyur process. Other people have different needs and value systems that are equally valid.

[jujumin-translates]

★ Main Story | Act 13 - Budding Spring | Chapter 10 - Forced to the Starting Gate

Itaru: (I think it’s about time to head out… ah, right.)

Itaru: (Now that I’ve got a rough idea of our performance schedule, I’d better apply for paid leave before I forget.)

Boss: Chigasaki-kun, may I borrow you for fifteen minutes?

Itaru: --Of course.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Boss: It appears you’re all here.

Itaru: (Looks like there’s a few of my colleagues… and a handful of younger guys too.)

Boss: I called you all here to ask if you’d be interested in participating in an urban development project that our company is currently working on.

Boss: The project itself is already in its final stages, so what we’d like from you is to provide support in the form of an induction course.

Itaru: (So this is that large-scale overseas urban development project. The one about creating a theater establishment and developing the surrounding area to be a center of arts and culture…)

Itaru: (I checked out the outline since it was related to theater and sounded interesting.)

Boss: It’s not mandatory, of course. It would just be something to do alongside your current jobs.

Boss: That said… there is a reason you all were chosen specifically.

Boss: As individuals who are important to the company’s future, I truly hope you consider becoming core members of this next project.

Itaru: (Eight racehorses competing in the promotion race line up at the gate. Favored to win is Communication Skills Demon, but My Parents Are Absolutely Loaded is also attracting quite a lot of attention.)

Coworker A: I’ll do my best to meet your expectations.

Coworker B: I’ve been interested in this project for quite some time now, so I’m honored to be part of it!

Itaru: (The gate has opened and both of the favored horses have taken off running.)

Coworker C: Considering the state of my current workload, I should be able to participate in the induction course.

Itaru: I… sorry, can I have a little more time to think about it?

Itaru: (If it weren’t for the timing, I probably would’ve been all in, but…)

Itaru: (Honestly, I’m so busy with the troupe and the Fleur Award right now that I just don’t have time to think about anything else.)

Boss: …Ah, because you have your own theater company to worry about, right, Chigasaki-kun? Please do consider it based on your schedule with that in mind.

Boss: However, the theme of this urban development project is the arts, which is why the other team members were really hoping to work with you, Chigasaki-kun.

Coworker A: …

Itaru: I thank them for considering me.

Boss: I’ll set up another opportunity at a later date to explain more on what the induction course entails and to introduce the project’s team members. I hope to see you there.

Itaru: I will seriously consider it.

*Door closes*

Itaru: …

Coworker B: He seriously can’t just say he’ll consider it and then refuse.

Coworker C: Must be nice being in a position where you can just quit the company if worse comes to worst.

Coworker A: Well, it is a popular theater company, and the fact that it’s generally well-known definitely doesn’t make it any easier for the company to deal with him.

Itaru: …

Itaru: (If you’re gonna say it, at least do it behind my back.)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Chikage: I’m so sorry, but my hands are full at the moment.

Company Employee A: I see. I apologize for dropping it on you so suddenly.

Chikage: Let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with.

Itaru: …

Itaru: Wanna head somewhere a little nicer, Senpai?

Chikage: …I don’t even want to try and guess where that might be, but go on.

Itaru: The hell is that supposed to mean?

Chikage: Haah, I suppose I can’t say no. I’ll go with you.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Punching SFX*

Itaru: Start by cheesing it and then follow that up with a double finishing move and K.O.! Man, is there any greater high than this?

Chikage: If you’re going to try and hide the way you actually feel, do it a little better.

Itaru: …Ughh, this is so stupid. Why can’t it just be the people who actually wanna be part of the promotion race at the starting gate?

Itaru: I mean, they should dip if they don’t wanna do it. Directing hate at me isn’t gonna go anything.

Itaru: There’s supposed to be a fine line between noobs like them and a mid-tierer like me. Why is it that the more of a mid-ranker you are, the less human rights you get?

Chikage: There aren’t really that many mid-level people to begin with.

Itaru: The company knows what to expect from the “Elite Chigasaki-san”. That’s why they’re hiring guys fresh out of college to steadily raise them into the perfect corporate slaves.

Itaru: I get why my colleagues are so desperate to advance their careers by using their outer appearances and mild manners to do so.

Itaru: From their point of view, it’s gotta be infuriating to see a guy who acts so carelessly while chasing after both theater and a career.

Itaru: And hit ‘em with a triple combo finisher-- But I’m just trying to figure out where I stand, so just eff off.

Itaru: Must be nice for you, Senpai. You go overseas a lot and get to level up your career stats in the least complicated way possible.

Itaru: And the things people say about you aren’t nearly as harsh, either.

Itaru: Me, on the other hand, I’m just stuck being the “can-do guy” who does a little better than decent work around the office.

Itaru: At the end of the day, I’m just a mediocre handyman at best.

Itaru: Even if I’m not being treated like the favorite, I still don’t slack off with my work. I may not be the most motivated, but I’d like to think I’m still doing everything I’m supposed to.

Chikage: You sure move your mouth and your hands a lot.

Itaru: What am I even trying to do in the first place?

Itaru: Should I sell my soul and become a corporate slave like you, and aim so high that no one can ever possibly complain about me not being good enough, or should I try and attain a rank that’s purely “Itaru Chigasaki”?

Chikage: Dad jokes and pro-level dodging techniques, huh? (1)

Chikage: Anyway, shouldn’t your first step be thinking about what you want for yourself?

Itaru: What I want… Well, I guess just to maintain the status quo so I don’t have to deal with everyone’s complaints about me… No, actually, maybe I want to speedrun my way to early retirement with passive income…?

Chikage: Then stop spending money on pulls and start investing.

Itaru: Absolutely not.

Itaru: …I originally chose this job based on the benefits and was lucky enough just to get in, so it’s not like I have any real desire to climb the corporate ladder.

Itaru: Most of the troupe have more than one thing on their hand, but they all have dreams and love what they do.

Itaru: And then there’s me who’s job is just a source of income. I feel like I really don’t have a whole lot to bring back to the troupe.

Itaru: It’s an important time for Spring Troupe to compete, and here I am getting caught up in a promotion race while all my coworkers talk behind my back.

Chikage: So you’re in a position where your hobby is more useful to the troupe.

Itaru: Exactly. To be honest, I wonder if there’s even any point in me continuing to be an office worker, but I don’t have the backbone or the self-confidence to just quit and do theater as my full-time job.

Itaru: Basically, I just wanna have something to fall back on.

Itaru: Ugh~, who would’ve thought I’d still be having these kinds of student problems even now… You ever think about this kinda stuff, Senpai?

Chikage: Well… there’s a variety of upsides to my job.

Itaru: A variety?

Chikage: A variety.

Itaru: Oh, okay. By all means, don’t elaborate or anything.

Chikage: No matter where you are, there are always two sides to things. There’s the side where you’re appreciated and the side where you’re disrespected. It’s not just you.

Chikage: The same goes for me, just with a different set of people. I guess I’m just glad to even be able to do theater activities in the first place.

Itaru: But if we’re actually nominated for the Fleur Award this time around, I doubt the company’s gonna be too eager to accommodate for that.

Chikage: Well, the company does have a performance-based evaluation system. If you can’t contribute to improving the company’s image, you’ll be told you need to be giving your work your undivided attention.

Chikage: At any rate, that doesn’t change the fact that we need the results of our next performance to be good too.

Itaru: I guess you’re ri… Hell yeah, I win! Haaah, I feel better now.

Itaru: Oh, right, didn’t you get asked to do something annoying too, Senpai?

Chikage: Ah… I was asked to accompany a client on an overseas business trip as an interpreter, but I had to decline because I just don’t have the time for that right now.

Itaru: Guess even cheaters like you have it hard sometimes. But y’know, I’m sure there’s tons of people who would kill to have the opportunity to do some sightseeing while all you have to do is be an interpreter.

Chikage: Well, it’s not to a country that I particularly want to go to.

Itaru: But you know the language, don’t you?

Chikage: I guess.

Itaru: Yeah, okay, we get it, you’re cheater.

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

• • •

T/N:

(1) Itaru says “役職 『茅ヶ崎至』 に至る” (yakushoku “chigasaki itaru” ni itaru), literally “Attain the position of “Itaru Chigasaki”. The joke is that the verb “to attain” (至る; itaru) and Itaru’s name are the same kanji and have the same pronunciation, hence why Chikage mentions dad jokes.

[sky-swimmer]

What if Dev’s drones and other drones still remember fairies and magic? I mean they’re robots, whipping their memories wouldn’t work because they’re not humans, and technology is getting smarter and dangerous for fairies.

I would imagine Timmy, during his teenage years, warned his fairies and Jorgen about what’s happening with technology in future, who knows what will happen years later, but Jorgen ignored the warnings, saying it’s fine, fairies are very smart and he men want he was doing cause he’s the strongest fairy of all, but Timmy wouldn’t sure about that, they just need to be careful.

I mean that kind of technology ACTUALLY worked on Wanda and Como at Galaxy Institute in Crocker to future episode, just wow-

Jorgen would realize what Timmy meant. Or something. It would be hilarious that Timmy alway “wrong” yet he’s right about their safety.

Anyway only way is that robot’s memory need to get deleted. Dev would, if he still remembers, but probably don’t know how and probably doesn’t know they still remembers.

Once again I don’t care if Jorgen is strongest fairy, just look at technology! Look at Galaxy Institute! Look at that weapon, A.J. mentioned, it’s very dangerous for fairies!

Who knows what will happen?!

It would be bad if Jorgen was caught and his wand was taken away!

Oh man….

Hi, Rosella!

This is such an interesting idea because when I was watching the show I was always confused by the logistics of Dev's drones. At the end of the Best Of Luck episode, where Dev loses Irep, he storms off and asks them to 'find me everything there is to know about anti-fairies'.

Like... how would that work? Fairies and anti-fairies' aren't Google-able 😭?? How did his Au Pairs drones manage to find info out on them??? And enough info for Dev to be able to contact Irep? who is out there uploading anti fairy info to the human internet and giving instructions on how to summon them??? What???? 😭😭😂 I assume it's for plot convenience, and we aren't supposed to think too hard about it. Or maybe it will be pushed down to 'Pixie interference'? Who knows??

Anyway! The drones remembering the fairies is such an interesting idea!! Because if Dev has fractured or deep memories due to the sunglasses, perhaps he could get suspicious over time. Checking the Au Pairs video feed, or them flat out telling Dev what happened is definitely a way to go! Though, I assume Dev's memories returning will happen in a more dramatic moment for tension and story telling purposes.

HOWEVER, above Dev, the Au Pairs are loyal to someone else- Dale. So imagine if he's messing with them or upgrading them at some point, and he finds their data banks 💀💀 Dev knowing about fairies was bad, but with Dale it would be 100 times worse.

Again, I don't think this will happen, since the 'taking over Fairy World' plotline already happened in season 1. I think we're more likely to get a 'Project H' plotline for Dale in season 2 (though that too could lead to the discovery of fairies??)

If Dale did discover fairies since he was following and monitoring Hazel so much, then would Hazel lose her fairies??! If she's being watched and asks for a wish, without realizing someone can see her, I think it would still count as her 'revealing fairies to the world'- unintentional or not. So that would also be an interesting and dramatic plot idea, where Hazel forgets her fairies, while Winn, Jasmine, Antony and maybe Dev all remember.

I doubt the show will go that far to have 2 main characters lose their fairies within 2 seasons, only to immediately get them back, but you never know, and I love speculating!!

As you said though, they definitely laid a huge groundwork of tech that can actually harm and affect fairies during anw. If Dev or Dale begin to suspect fairies, they could turn into the new Crocker dynamic. I mean, that would be so tough for Hazel, to watch Dev suffer and miss Peri, while he doesn't even understand why. And Hazel can't tell him anything or help him because she will lose her fairies if Dev finds out because of her 😭 AUGH.

But yes TLDR; Au Pairs remembering magic is such a crazy valid point I didn't think about. And very dangerous considering they're ultimately owned by Dale. The writers could definitely go down that route and use tech (like you said) for Dale to try and capture/figure them out!!

Very interesting ask!! Thank you!

[romanticiseadarkcity]

i'm not sure if you have already answered a question like this... but this is a two parter so buckle up! i'm a high school senior (in the US) and i'm very uncertain about my future and need a nice big GOAL to push for. right now i think urban planning is it. i'm hoping your answers might clear some stuff up for me.

number 1- what got you into urban planning/urban design? was it something you saw in your community? at what age did you realize this? what kinds of things did you do when you were younger that you realize now could have indicated your future interest in this career path?

number 2- materials. do you have a list of literature, articles, resources, or creators that you like to go to for indulging personal interests in urban planning/design. this can include university assigned literature too ofc, i'm just wondering if you have any recs of materials to consume that could kind of point me in the right direction. (aka help me see if my current interest is real by seeing if i'm geniunely interested in literature on the subject of urban design)

anyways, ik that was a long one!!! pls take your time 😭 and cool sideblog you have just gained a follower :)

hi pluto! no worries about the length, I have a science degree so I'm used to 2000 word papers ahaha (this is not to brag btw it was a pain in the ass the whole time I studied it, would only recommend if it's your jam)

so glad to hear you have a goal and I get that feeling! tbh when I look at the many multifaceted things I want to make a difference in, being able to do something that influences people's lives in such a fundamental and behind-the-scenes kind of way really keeps me going.

OKAY so the thing that got me into this was actually permaculture! when I was your age we did a geography unit on feeding the world while conserving the environment, and, for context, my high school also had what was basically an accelerated design program at the time (totally by accident, one dedicated teacher and my grade who were Very Into this kind of thing). basically, back to geography, where that unit landed was

"Permaculture is a design system for the creation of socially, economically and ecologically sustainable settlements, whether in rural areas or metropolitan cities.” – Bill Mollison

and I was like! aha! design! see at this point, roughly 7 years ago, urban design wasn't that big of a field yet (most degrees in it have only popped up in the last decade or so) and so I thought a career in design at that point meant one of three options that didn't really appeal to me: architecture/ landscape architecture / interior design, industrial design/ engineering, or graphic design/animation. BUT!! on this day I was proven wrong!! because the definition in itself said design! and it was about being socially, economically and ecologically sustainable so I'd get to do Social Justice Things and Environment and Biology Things as well as use my knowledge of smallholder farming and business running from my side gig of breeding guinea fowls. At that point I knew what I wanted to do! I looked up permaculture degrees, and found nothing at a university level--which I knew I wanted to study because to understand the planet and our design needs, I thought I needed a lot more education.

Instead I applied to a bachelors of environmental science at several universities in Australia. The employment prospects were good, and I did biology in high school, and climate change was a Big Talking Point I thought I'd do well to understand a bit better. As well as ecology--living in Queensland at the time, it's one of the most rapid areas of land clearing. Urban design came later; for my fourth year I was required to do a year-long research project and write a thesis on it. There was a lot of emphasis on choosing something you know you can do for an entire year, and at this point I had three and a half years of backlogged ideas on how to make changes to our civilisations to be better for the environment, so I knew I wanted to do something that would allow me to express them in design. One of my capstone subjects was one on river catchments, and in it we studied something called water sensitive urban design. I arranged a crossover project between my lecturer for that subject and someone from the school of design at my university I later found out was the course coordinator of the master of urban design. She suggested this degree to me, and I enrolled--just at a different university to where I did my undergrad. tbh, it's everything I wanted at 17 when I wanted to design human scale civilisations that incorporate the principles of permaculture. I only wish working in the industry was more activism-led and less following a status quo that has historically been terrible for the environment and nonwhite people, and is making much too slow progress to remedy this.

PART 2: okay this will be a short one because I am that student who literally NEVER does any of their readings. I do them, eventually, at the end of my degree (like I did for environmental science) where I just save all the links and read through EVERYTHING for my entire degree at once. so I could not tell you what the good readings are. HOWEVER I want to push something: this field is NOT about reading. it is rooted in science, yes, but unlike something like biology it is a much more applied science. At its core, it is about problem-solving and innovation. It's about listening to your users. It's about holding their perspectives and their longings, and that of the land as well. It's about listening and creating. So I want to ask you these questions: 1) can you draw, whether on paper or digitally? Can you visualise things in your head and then translate that to a document? 2) can you collate several genres of information (planning law, ecology, social needs of MANY groups of people, stakeholder conditions, hydrology, the user experience, just to name a few) and use this to create a solution that covers all bases? and 3) can you listen to the land and the stories it tells, and would like to tell? Have you listened to you local Indigenous community about who they were before colonisation, how they feel now, and what they want to be? Are you ready to be the person who helps them see that vision? Are you ready to be the person who helps us see a vision of less traffic, of low carbon lifestyles, of being outdoors and meeting each other in peace?

I'll put up some links for reading sometime down the line when I hunt down where I saved them all to, but the reason I tend away from making this discipline too academic is because you're designing for the everyday person. You're not designing only for the small percentage who are capable of having academic conversations. You need to understand what someone on the street is saying behind their words, at least as much as you need to understand something some academic wrote in a paper or a book or even a council website. You're here to listen to the marginalised, listen to the need for connection of the wealthy who are hiding it behind accumulating things, and then have those perspectives in mind when you build up a collection of tools on how to make those needs a reality.

[rabbithaver]

i finally decided to actually write out some of my major headcanons for Silver. i like him a lot as a character and i think people overlook him too much lmao

I genuinely believe that Silver has been decoupled from the timeline completely. This means that changes to the future made in the present do not affect him. He may not remember the specific events of 06, but he absolutely remembers growing up in an apocalypse and frequently has lines that support this in the comics. Him being unaffected by changes to the timeline explains why his personal history has not changed, despite the future being saved multiple times. ALSO, Ian Flynn has confirmed that Silver is not in control of when or how he travels through time -- I believe that whatever or whoever is sending him back and forth is the same thing that separated him from the timeline.

Silver is deaf, pushing about 70% hearing loss. It's not congenital -- his hearing sucks because he's from a timeline where things blew up constantly and he had no hearing protection. He relies mostly on lip-reading and guesswork, but wants to learn ASL when he gets a chance... if he gets the chance. Time is wibbly-wobbly for him. (I should note that this one is personal to me -- I myself am HoH due to otosclerosis and I'm definitely projecting my declining hearing on him lmao)

I know Silver is canonically the exact same height and weight as Shadow and Silver, but I personally don't find that very... likely. All three of these dudes are 3'3" and 77lbs EXACTLY? Nah. Shadow and Sonic, maybe, but not Silver. I headcanon Silver as being smaller and lighter than the other hedgehogs because he grew up in a timeline where food was hard to find, and thus didn't grow as much. He's very scrawny and basically has almost no meat on his bones, but you'd never guess because he's got The Fluff.

Elaborating on the food thing: his relationship with eating is probably totally screwed. Think about it: he spent his whole youth eating whatever he could get his hands on, and he probably had to eat as quickly as he could so he could stay on the move. The idea of eating to enjoy the flavor is like, completely alien to him. He also tends to stash food away for later, as he's not used to knowing when his next meal will be. He does it entirely out of habit, even when food is abundant.

Silver's immune system probably sucks. Every time he goes back to the past, he catches some illness. This is largely because he's not used to the pathogens 200 years earlier, but I also like to imagine this is because he's got some sort of autoimmune disorder.

You cannot tell me this boy does not have asthma. I am aware that this is kind of a fandom in-joke, but it makes total sense. If he grew up in a world of smoke and flames, his lungs probably look like burnt toast. Someone get him an inhaler please.

Silver has PTSD and severe anxiety, both due to his personal history growing up in a hellscape and also because repeatedly going back to the future to find his time in disarray due to events in the present is probably traumatic as all hell. His biggest trigger is most likely building collapse, but I can't imagine he doesn't have kind of a hard time with explosions after the Eggman War. His cheerful optimism and helpful attitude is his effort to deflect from his trauma.

Expanding on the anxiety thing; Silver struggles when he doesn't have something to do. We actually see this in canon in the 2022 Annual story "Future Growth." He has no idea how to function when he doesn't have a mission to focus on. Being in the past with no clear directive is insanely triggering for him and he totally fails to cope.

While I'm talking about his mental illnesses, I want to make it explicitly clear: he is REALLY good at hiding this stuff. His friends in the Resistance/Restoration don't find out about his issues for years, and this is specifically because he instinctually hides anything that could be perceived as a weakness. He's been conditioned to hide any and all weaknesses because it was the only way to survive in the post-apocalypse. Being visibly affected by your trauma is a quick and easy way to get dead, so he simply... doesn't. This kid cannot stop masking his trauma at all until he's literally at his breaking point.

There is no way he doesn't have intense Survivors' Guilt. Going back to the Metal Virus arc in the comics, he's the only survivor of a shuttle crash in Issue #25. All of those people died. They actually died - if they were zombots, they would've survived that crash, but because they were still healthy, they didn't have the ability to recover. Silver probably feels that because he was trying so hard to get survivors to the shuttle, he led those people to their deaths. I specifically am pointing to his dialogue here as evidence of this:

He probably dreads going back to the future. Like, think about it. He's admitted to being lonely (IDW #8) in his own time -- probably because his history separates him from the average person! The only friends he really has are in the past, the vast majority of whom are likely long dead by the time he's born. And while his friends are always happy to see him, I can imagine he has a lot of anxiety thinking about the fact that they inevitably start to associate his arrival with something bad coming down the line. That's rough, buddy.

He's very proud of his ruff and he takes really good care of it. It's super thick and very soft. However, when he's having a rough time, he's not as thorough, and it tends to show. If you know him really well, you can get an idea of his current mental health just by looking at the state of his chest fur. A happy Silver is fluffy, a struggling Silver looks like he was left in the washing machine.

Silver has a really hard time with media that involves apocalyptic worlds. He knows that it's just fiction, but it reminds him of the fact that he's the only one who remembers the apocalyptic hellscape he grew up in. It reminds him that as much as his friends want to support him, they can't truly understand what he's been through; his background is only real to him. It just leaves him feeling lonely and sad, so he avoids it as much as possible.

Silver doesn't sleep well in real beds. Maybe it's just a lifetime of growing up surrounded by an apocalypse, but he has a really hard time getting comfortable in a real bed. For months during the Eggman War, he'd spend hours tossing and turning before finally giving up and curling up on the floor in a corner. It's just not what he's used to at all.

anyway i think about him a normal amount :)

[leighsartworks216]

Hello! I know you prolly have been asked about this a lot of time but can you give me a small guide/tips about how can one start writing, pretty please. Like hear me out okie

I have this idea alright, I know the characters, the basic storyline, maybe a pinch of plot but I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START- it's like whenever I am daydreaming everything is flowing so smoothly but when I sit down to actually write it down, boom! what was my name again? How can I not remember anything? How can I even start the story, it's always so confusing :( because whenever I try it just doesn't seem enough, so what's your process of writing, like how to put down/draft the idea? Also Idk how to post on Tumblr as someone who want's to start, like who/what should I tag and stuff. Ig I am a lost cause ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

Also I am sorry if I came out rude 😭I am genuinely so interested in writing but I just don't know where to start.

This only took me too fucking long to answer 💀

My writing process is a little chaotic and weird because it's what works for me. I've had to work with and against my ADHD and chronic pain in order to come up with ways that make writing possible, so some of this stuff may not work for you

My process goes roughly like this: daydream/get hit with inspiration from somewhere/something; write it down in my notes app on my phone, usually until I have a complete fic; transfer it over to a Google Doc (either by copy-pasting or re-typing it all word for word (depending on how much editing I think it needs)); format (I change it to font size 12 and set it to add a space after paragraphs); post

Writing in my notes app removes the "blank canvas" wall that I get when I sit down to write in a doc. And because it's on my phone and I can be laying down to do it, it also removes a lot of the strain on my hands and back. The majority of my fics lately have been entirely written in my notes and then just put into a doc for formatting purposes before posting, because I feel more motivated to work on them this way. I'll go over posting in a minute

But first, my first tip based on what you've said: Do NOT wait until you're sitting down to write, to write. If you get an idea, if you can, write it down right away. Whether that be on paper, a napkin, your phone's notes app - write it down. If you have the time for it, write down as much as you can (ie. descriptions, full sentences, an entire scene). Don't worry about the context for what you write, just write the thing as-is and add context later

Another tip along with this: Writing is much, much harder than daydreaming. Daydreaming gives you a full sensory experience built in; you can see everything that's happening, you can be there in the moment. But when writing, you have to build everything you see with words that never quite capture it perfectly. Daydreaming definitely helps, though! Most of my fics wouldn't exist if I hadn't imagined being in them beforehand lol But it's never going to really flow smooth from daydream to writing because of the nature of them both

As for crafting the plot of a story and like having an outline for it, I'm also awful about it. What helps for me, though, is laying out what I want to happen chapter by chapter. For my ongoing Dragon Sylus fic, for example, I wrote out what I wanted to happen in bullets, explaining as much as I needed to for future-me to understand what I have in mind or any random ideas I may be able to include. These aren't hard and fast guidelines, but they let me visualize better what needs to happen and if the story can get from A to B to C. For something like my Witcher fic (that I really need to finish one day 😭), I have entire docs with character notes, chapter layouts, potential plotlines, scrapped stuff from past chapters that I may be able to use in the future, etc. This can help keep more complicated or bigger project under some control

Which reminds me of my next tip: Do NOT delete anything! In the sense of like, writing paragraphs or even entire chapters that you decide you no longer want, don't delete them! Make a new doc or note or what-have-you and copy-paste them into it. A lot of the time, it can be repurposed later on, or even just give you ideas for other things to write

Now, posting! Since you asked specifically about posting on tumblr, I'll only provide advice on that, but I can give advice for AO3, too

Tumblr posting can be confusing and honestly threw me so far off when I first joined. To preface all of this, I highly recommend only posting fics when you're on desktop. I also recommend NOT writing your fics directly into tumblr and saving it as a draft. That's a disaster waiting to happen

For tagging, I follow a sort of pattern that I follow on most if not all of my fics. I tag them "fanfic" "fanfiction", followed by the character name(s), [character name] x reader, the fandom/show it's from, and because my fics label the gender of the reader, my last tags have that gender specified (ie. "gender neutral reader", "fem reader", "masc reader", etc). This is what works for me, and if you look at my tags on fics, you can sort of see my process and order of tagging things

Don't tag characters or ships that don't appear in the fic. Putting a story in a tag it doesn't belong will most likely get it marked for spam

It's a good idea to tag potential triggers if they come up. "cw spiders" or "tw spiders" for example. This way people who have triggers or phobias can filter out these things and be more aware. I also put warnings up top with all the contents of the fic (this used to just be only things I thought may be triggering and then I just started writing out my ao3 tags and that works better for me to know I'm being thorough)

Okay that was a lot and this took me so long to answer, but I hope it was a little helpful! If you have more questions, I'd be happy to answer them! (Hopefully within a more reasonable timeframe 💀)

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

rereading chapter 7 and enjoying the development of baela and alicents dynamic so far. i do think baela as aegons queen (just like this whole situation) will always be bittersweet for alicent, because if things had gone differently, it would be helaena in baela's place. although her daughter actually wasnt alicents first choice before everything, viserys made that decision for her, which resulted in their 3 grandkids. the idiot put his daughter in the same situation that alicent was because those kids, including jaehaera would always have a better claim than rhaenyra and it would have quietly horrified and enraged alicent

Sansacherie, you get it! I think what's particularly insidious about the Aegon/Helaena match is that it cuts off all possible avenues for them to achieve financial independence and puts them entirely at the mercy of Rhaenyra, should she ascend the throne. That's a whole entire family that Rhaenyra has to feed, clothe, and house, all of them with legitimate claims to the throne who could challenge her or later Jace. Even if she doesn't kill them, they would be entirely beholden to her and dependent upon her generosity. I do think this was deliberate on Viserys' part. How could it not be? We've seen Targaryen princes, like Daemon, marry out. The fandom often treats that marriage to Rhea Royce like it's some sort of a punishment but I sincerely think it's a sign Alysanne favored him-- she set him up with an heiress, thus securing his and his children's futures. None of Viserys' children aside from Rhaenyra get this level of consideration.

That said, I do think Alicent made the best of a less than ideal situation and consoled herself with the idea that at least Helaena would close to her, and with time she got used to it. So in OFCIR it's definitely bittersweet for her. Now that she's over her initial "over my dead body" reaction, she sees Baela's potential and kind of wants to make a project of her. I think what's often overlooked with book!Baela is that she was raised from babyhood to be Jace's queen, and certainly Rhaenys would have been a part of that training. Although the historians treat her like Daemon (or Alyssa) come again, it's really only after Jace's death that she starts to rebel, and that's because she's being prevented from helping out with the war effort, this cause that she's been pledged to her entire life. Even after the war she's one of the last remaining Targaryens, but she's treated as more of a liability than an asset, and she's not given any renewed sense of purpose, nor is there even an adult who seems particularly interested in securing her future. Her actions read to me as that of a teenager who is frustrated at being shunted aside, and so she has this sort of wild child phase and who can blame her? She's a girl who has lost everything, who goes from being a future queen to the council deciding which decrepit old man they can pawn her off on. She wasn't even allowed to be a significant player in her brother's court until after his regency was over.

One thing I think that Aegon, Alicent, and Baela all have in common is that they don't do well when they're idle. They need something to keep them busy mentally, and so in OFCIR they all get this renewed sense of purpose. Anything to add @aifsaath?